Sunday May 29th 2022

 06:30 I switch on my smartphone. There are no messages from Sarah, our daughter in Australia. Yesterday she told us that one of hers and Francis's 8-year-old twins Lily had been very poorly and that she was going to test her for COVID in the morning. Let's hope that "no news is good news" - I think she would have texted us if the test had proved positive. So fingers crossed.

I get up early to feed our other daughter Alison's 2 cats and her tank of tiny marine fish - Lois and I are staying the week in the crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley, Hampshire, where Alison's family live. We're "pet-sitting" while they are all away in Wales, staying in a little village called Llanthony.

Today, Ali posted on social media a few pictures of the charming holiday cottage - "The Old Smithy" - that they're renting for the week. It's apparently in a secluded valley and has no wifi and no signal for their mobiles, and no TV, so it's a pretty complete "detox" from the technical online world for Ali and Ed and their 3 children, Josie (15), Rosalind (13) and Isaac (11). 

And I can imagine that's going to be quite a struggle for all of them - oh dear!!!!

Ed relaxing in the garden of "The Old Smithy" in Llanthony

Llanthony, the village where our daughter Alison and her family are staying this week

Alison and Ed have left us in complete charge of their crumbling Victorian mansion, so we've had to learn how to feed their 2 cats, Dumbledore and Otto, as well as how to feed their tank of tiny marine fish. 

I think I pass the test this morning, and both cats and all the little fish appear to start their day with a smile on their little faces, which is nice. Not actual smiles of course, it's more their body language that convinces me that what I've given them "hits the spot"!

As a souvenir, I take a "before" and an "after" picture.

the fish tank before I release some fish food,

with the fish swimming somewhat aimlessly around

...and after I put the food in - a greater level of focus

is seen as the fish seek to find as much food as possible,

and giving me a nice "virtual" smile to show their appreciation, which is nice!

10:00 Lois and I don't have much to do here in between feeding the pets, so after breakfast we go for another walk around the 6.5 acre grounds of this mansion, built by one of Queen Victoria's vice-admirals in the late 19th century.

We come across a wooden "Wendy House", which must have been built to amuse the children. I look through the windows and see that it now houses Ed's sets of golf clubs, amongst other random rubbish.

a peep through the window reveals Ed's sets of golf clubs

and other assorted unwanted items

It's entertaining for Lois and me to imagine the little Victorian children playing make-believe games in the little house, and having tea parties on the wooden tables and chairs outside the front door.

Tremendous fun !!!!!!

11:30 We speak on zoom to Sarah, our daughter in Australia, and also with Francis and their 8-year-old twins Lily and Jessica. During the morning I got a message from Sarah to see that Lily tested negative for COVID, and so she must just be suffering from a very bad cold. 

Lois and I can remember how Sarah herself used to suffer very badly from colds when she was around Lily's age, and that she also suffered from croup. Many's the night we used to boil kettles in her room - this seemed to have a beneficial effect.

Lily is subdued, but she stays around to talk to us, which is nice. And Francis gives us his tips on house-hunting. Lois and I are looking to move to Malvern, the town where Francis and Sarah are also hoping to settle when they return to the UK after their 6 years down under.

We've told Sarah and Francis that we've been a bit disappointed in the houses in Malvern that we've looked at so far, and Francis explains that we're seeing only the houses that have something wrong with them and so have remained on the market more than a few days. It's such a extreme seller's market at the moment that any house that's any good gets snapped up quickly, so unless you get in quick and make an offer fast, you just get to see the houses that buyers aren't impressed with, which makes sense to us on reflection.

Oh dear, what a crazy market it is at the moment !!!!!

20:00 Oh dear - Lois and I have no live TV feed of course, and there's nothing particular from last week's shows that we want to watch on BBC iPlayer - or "Ay-playah" as I call it, so there's nothing for it but to look on the Netflix pay-to-view channel, which the family subscribe to.

Luckily the channel doesn't ask us for a password, because we haven't got one, of course. Lois chooses the "Romantic films" category and we watch a film called "The Duchess".

Well at least it's based on an 18th century true story, which is some compensation for history buffs like us.

The cats are still out in the garden, so we decide to settle down in the living-room with the fish in Alison's fish tank, and watch the film to the end.  I have to say the fish don't take a lot of interest in the film, however, but I suppose they've still got a lot of swimming to do, which is a pity! When we go to bed we always switch the fish's light off so that they can get some sleep, so they've got to pack a lot of swimming in before that time, so fair enough perhaps!

Young Georgiana (Keira Knightley) finds herself married to the Duke of Devonshire (Ralph Fiennes), who's mainly interested in getting her to produce a male heir, but unfortunately she produces 2 daughters. The duke is essentially a boring, taciturn man whose only lasting interest seems to be his two dogs. In his spare time he also sleeps with servant-girls and also with Georgiana's best, and only, friend, Lady Elizabeth "Bess" Foster (Hayley Atwell). 

the Duke and Devonshire's wedding night,

as the Duke starts to peel off several layers of the Duchess's clothes

Poor Georgiana!!!! No wonder she decides to dally with dashing young Whig (Liberal) politician Charles Grey (Dominic Cooper). Unfortunately, of course, society at that time permitted married men to "play away", but disapproved of married women who try to do the same. The old double standard, as Lois comments.

the Duchess meets the charming Whig politician Charles Grey,

who becomes her lover - but still no interest from the fish-tank, I notice: 

what madness !!!!

Luckily Lois has read a book about the Duchess so she has numerous comments to make about the film's many historical inaccuracies, which it is nice to pick up on - how refreshing! 

The film is anxious to present the Duchess as a victim, Lois notes, which is fair enough, but in doing so it glosses over some of her weaknesses, like her gambling addiction. Also, in real life the Duchess suffered some illness that gave her facial/bodily disfigurement, but again the film doesn't go there, so Keira Knightley can stay as lovely as she likes, which is nice for her!

It's time for bed, but before we go, we chat about the Duchess - we're comforted by the fact that at least she had a bit of passion and fun in her life while her affair with Grey lasted. And she got a holiday in France when it was time to have his baby, which was nice too.

Georgiana (Keira Knightley) in bed with her lover,

Charles Grey (Dominic Cooper), during a trip to Bath

Earl Grey is a popular guy in our house because of our love of Earl Grey tea, which is associated with him, although historians can't agree about why, and it may be a totally spurious connection. 

It's weird that drinking Earl Grey tea today is the epitome of being "posh" and "middle-class", whereas during the Earl's lifetime, in the 1830's and 1840's, for example, to drink tea flavoured with bergamot was looked on as "disreputable" and "disgusting".

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

22:00 We switch off the light in the fish tank and go upstairs to bed - zzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Saturday May 28th 2022

08:00 Lois and I wake up in these unusual surroundings near Headly, Hampshire, suddenly as temporary custodians of what's a vast and rambling Victorian mansion, actually making up half of what was an even vaster mansion built in the late 19th century for one of Queen Victoria's vice-admirals. 

The rooms still have the bells on the walls that the original owners used in order to summon maids and butlers - what a crazy world they lived in in those far-off times!!

to the right of the fireplace can be seen one of the bells

used in former times to summon butlers or maids - what madness !!!!!

the house's incomprehensible floor-plan

flashback to June 2021: we search for, and find,

the grave of Vice-Admiral John Edward Parish (1822-1894), 

whom the house was built for

 a selection of highlights from the career of John Edward Parish RN (1822-1894)

It must have been a nice time to be a captain, commodore or vice-admiral. A mostly peaceful century after 1815, with the Royal Navy ruling the waves - the so-called Pax Britannica etc. 

And when Parish's career was eventually over he could retire happily to his house and land in Hampshire, well before the Germans got their act together and started building their own battleships to threaten us with.

Lucky old Parish !!!!!

10:00 Before our daughter Alison and her family went off to Wales last night, she asked us to "check the mousetraps daily", so we do so  this morning, and find this poor little creature, which we take down to the bottom of the garden and liberate humanely, hoping that he won't come back, and maybe try one of the neighbour houses next time around - well it's only fair isn't it!

part of the instructions that our daughter Alison

has left for us to follow as part of our pet-sitting duties

a mouse caught humanely in one of Alison's mousetraps

- poor mouse !!!!!

"Mouse Gone" - a flick of the mousetrap door at the 

bottom of the garden and the mouse jumps out: 

he chooses freedom and does so without hesitation, which is nice!

And now we're free to spend the day as we choose, so we take a walk round the extensive 6.5 acre grounds, admiring a lovely old oak tree that must have been growing here for centuries, before having a cup of coffee and a piece of one of our son-in-law Ed's old ginger cakes on the terrace.

we inspect the lovely old oak tree that's been

growing here for centuries, I expect!

then we relax on the terrace with a slice of one of our son-in-law Ed's

old ginger cakes with a cup of coffee on the terrace

Happy days! And even happier in the afternoon, when we have a shower and then go back to bed for a couple of hours. All thought of difficult problems at home, like house-hunting, are forgotten as we wallow in our pale imitation of the life of a wealthy Victorian general, taking full advantage of the old chap's house - and why not !!!!!

I glance at my smartphone. Our daughter Alison has put a couple of pictures on social media of the cottage where she and Ed and their 3 children are staying - it's in a village called Llanthony, near Hay-on-Wye, on the English-Welsh border.

the cottage near Llanthony on the English-Welsh border,

where our daughter Alison and her family are staying this week

And also my younger sister Gill, who lives in Cambridge, has been on holiday in Lancashire with her x husband Peter, daughter Lucy, their other daughter Zoe, and Zoe's  partner Chris.

my younger sister Gill pictured this week on holiday in Lancashire

(left to right) Zoe's partner Chris, Peter, Peter and Lucy's carer (I assume), Zoe and Lucy

pictured here on a windy day this week on the Lancashire coast at Lytham St Annes

An unsettling message comes in from Sarah, our younger daughter, who lives in Perth, Australia, with Francis and their 8-year-old twins, Lily and Jessica. Sarah says that Lily has been very poorly today, and in the morning she's going to give her a COVID test. Let's hope for the best, though. The twins have had their 2 jabs, so even if it is COVID it ought not to be too serious.

20:00 We settle down on the couch and watch a bit of TV - just like we were at home haha!! It's the first part in a new historical "investigation" series presented by Lucy Worsley. This one's about the witch hunts that were all the rage in the 17th century.

Not very pleasant viewing, to put it mildly, but Lois and I didn't know that the whole witch-hunting frenzy started with a case in Scotland in the 1590's, when a woman called Agnes Sampson, a local folk-healer and midwife in the little town of North Berwick, just south of Edinburgh, was tried and hanged for witchcraft.

Folk-healers, mainly women, had been around for centuries in the British Isles, offering help to local people who were ill or women giving birth, using 'natural' remedies, herbs etc, and also offering "lucky charms" that promised general good fortune, an end to bad weather or droughts etc - you know the kind of thing. 

Agnes Sampson happened to be around, practising her craft, in just the wrong place and at just the wrong time. 

The Protestant Reformation had heightened tension and people were feeling jittery, and a lot of books had been published, mainly on the Continent especially in Germany, e.g. the infamous "Malleus Maleficarum", warning about the works of the Devil and his mainly female, allegedly sex-mad worshippers. 

And crucially, the Scottish King, James VI, a protestant who did a lot of travelling to and from Denmark in pursuit of a marriage to Anne of Denmark, had been having a lot of trouble with storms in the North Sea - surely that was the work of the devil and his female followers, he believed. James was an anxious man, so far without an heir, and hoping to succeed to the English throne as well, when the childless Queen Elizabeth died, as indeed he did in due course in 1603.

The Agnes Sampson case was a kind of a landmark case, because the authorities worked out a system that would guarantee a conviction - and the system was then tried repeatedly both in Scotland and in England over the next 100 years or more. It basically amounted to torture, physical and mental, e.g. sleep deprivation, to extract a confession from these poor women, a confession that often included the implication of other local women. I won't tell you the details of the tortures - my god!

At Agnes's trial, in the presence of the King himself at Holyrood Palace, the Crown offered no real evidence other than Agnes's confession.

One of the key elements in the authorities' persecution of these women was the Witchcraft Act, passed by the Scottish Parliament at this time, which condemned witchcraft as a capital crime without even defining what "witchcraft" was.

And I'd never thought about it before, but the objects mostly associated with witches, even today, are things like broomsticks, cats, cauldrons etc, which were basically the things that almost symbolised the life of ordinary poor women in those far-off times: all very harmless, domestic things.

In all, around 2,500 women were executed for witchcraft in Scotland over the next 100 years, the highest rate in the whole of Europe - my god (again) !!!!!

21:00 What an awful story, and not one to go to bed on, so we wind down with BBC iPlayer and the first ever episode of the sitcom Miranda, written by, and starring Miranda Hart, with its iconic opening "Bridal Sale" scene featuring Miranda and her mother.

Tremendous fun !!!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Friday May 27th 2022

Lois and I are staying with our daughter Alison for a few days, and spending time with her, Ed, and their 3 children Josie (15), Rosalind (13) and Isaac (11)

08:30 I get out of bed and come downstairs, but Lois wants to sleep in - she didn't have a good night. The house is empty apart from us. The children are at school, and Alison is too - she works as a teacher's assistant. 

Ed has his birthday today, but he's out doing a run with his younger brother Tom. So I have a lonely breakfast all by myself in the kitchen. On the table I can also see Ed's birthday cards and some of his presents.

I have a lonely breakfast of Weetabix, toast and a cup of tea

- poor me !!!!!

at the other end of the table are some of Ed's birthday cards and presents

10:00 Later Lois gets up and also Ed comes back from his run. 

Ed opens his birthday card from us - our present came

by email: it's a voucher from the American Golf golfing goods store.

Ed had recently taken up his golf again.

Tom has given Ed a selection of special wood chips for his barbecue. What madness !!!!

Lois isn't feeling too good today, so we just have a quiet day, starting by inspecting the enormous garden and looking at the work that's been done so far to repair the storm damage from a couple of months back. Meanwhile Ed starts to mow the grass with his ride-on mower.

Lois inspects Alison's "fruit cage" - we've give her 

several of our fruit bushes

Ed starts to mow all the lawns on his ride-on mower

Lois refreshes the water in the bees' drinking fountain

I inspect the new car-port, which is under construction -

the old one was destroyed in a storm a couple of months ago

flashback to February and Storm Eunice - YIKES !!!!!

flashback to February: the old carport

completely wrecked by Storm Eunice

The family are going to be going off to Wales early this evening for a week at a holiday cottage. They're taking Sika, the family's Danish dog, but leaving the two cats and the tropical fish for us to look after. So Lois and I spend some time today familiarising ourselves with the house's gadgets, kitchen appliances etc and reading the instructions for pet-feeding etc.

We also nip over to Grayshott, 4 miles away, to buy some CookShop ready meals. It almost feels like normal life again to park outside and go into the Grayshott Wine Shop and choose our meals, with no masks on - has life gone back to normal now? It's hardly possible to believe it. What a crazy world we've been living in !!!!

we buy some CookShop ready meals from the Grayshott Wine Shop:

has life finally gone back to normal?

16:00 Alison and the children come back from school and piano lessons. At the school where Alison is a teaching assistant, everybody has been wearing red white and blue, in honour of the Queen's Platinum Jubilee, which is a nice idea.

Alison with Isaac: Alison is in red, white and blue

in honour of the Queen's Platinum Jubilee

 

17:15 The family go off to Wales - to the village of Llanthony near Hay-on-Wye, on the English-Welsh border. We wave goodbye. 

And now it's just Lois and me rattling around in this gigantic mansion for a week. Will we cope? Well, the jury's still out on that one haha!

For now, it's just us and the 2 cats and a bunch of fish in a tank. But it's nice to feel we can leave our towels and toiletries in the bathroom, and wander about the house in our pyjamas if we want to. That's total freedom!

There's a slight worry because Dumbledore, one of the two cats we're pet-sitting doesn't come in for his teatime feed, but he steps in eventually about 8:30 pm while we're watching TV, so we quickly lock the cat-flap so he's indoors for the night now.

Poor Dumbledore !!!!!

21:00 We watch a bit of TV. For some reason we've never figured out completely, the family don't have a feed of live TV - they watch everything on catch-up. I think it started when they were in Denmark 2012-2018, when they didn't want to watch Danish TV, and so they relied on pay-to-view channels like Netflix, which Lois and I don't like. 

Luckily we can also see BBC iPlayer which shows BBC programmes already broadcast and so we "catch up" with the last episode of the series "Art That Made Us". The series aims to present an alternative history of the British Isles based on the last 1500 years of art work and literature etc.

As Lois and I predicted, this final episode in a series which we've mostly enjoyed, turns out to be almost all complete rubbish, with the programme-makers quite obviously trying to include as many often unknown and quite untalented "artists", as long as they somehow represent one or other minority group: people like the rapper Stormzy and that kind of thing. What madness !!!!!

The highlight for me was a segment on a poem "Going Going" (1972) by Hull University librarian Philip Larkin (1922-1985), including a sight of Larkin's original draft. 

The poem laments the disappearance of the traditional centuries-old version of England, and its conversion in the post-World War Two era into a land of concrete and glass, and of high rise apartment-blocks. It's an elegy to the English countryside.

Larkin, pictured here closing his office door

at the library of Hull University

And we see tonight comedian David Baddiel entering Larkin's old office at Hull and looking at the original draft for the poem.

"...and that will be England gone, the shadows, the meadows, the lanes, the guildhalls, the carved choirs, there'll be books, it will linger on in galleries; but all that remains for us will be concrete and tyres." 

Baddiel says, "There's always this terrible pain in Larkin's writing. and all this terrible yearning, The yearning in "Going Going" is a sense of his own life ebbing away in tandem with this lyrical idea of England".

Although Baddiel is himself of Jewish immigrant stock and has lived almost all his life in London, he admits to a sentimental attachment to the sort of things that Larkin laments the passing of.

It's also nice that, while admitting that Larkin isn't "woke" any more, since copies of his personal letters have been found that contain racist views, Baddiel says it just doesn't do to throw all Larkin's work away and try to pretend that his poems don't have a real lyrical and touching beauty in their own right. 

So there haha!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!