Feeling a bit 'playful' this week and having a few minutes to spare (!), I thought I'd do something (finally!) with my Facebook profile, which has remained the same for, like, a billion years - more, probably!
Yours Truly's Facebook "cover picture", which has stayed
the same now for, like, a billion years - more probably!
A lot of people, for their Facebook "cover picture", put some impressive picture of themselves, maybe standing with their 'significant other', or with family members, or just themselves alone, looking like somebody great, doing something impressive, or busy with something that they reckon symbolises their talents and achievements.
Like famous scientist Albert Einstein, for example, who "trumpeted" his achievements with this rather pretentious "cover picture" on his Facebook account, which you'll know about if you're one of his many "Facebook friends" (!).
Or like karate expert Bruce Lee, for example - who's come up with this "doozy" as his official, or semi-official, or semi-official-to-official (!), "Facebook Face".
Karate expert Bruce Lee's official "Facebook Face" - his 'cover picture'
Let me put my cards on the table here. Yours Truly has never invented any "poncey" equations, so I can't do an Einstein-style cover picture for my "Facebook presence". And I'm no karate expert, and I don't think my friends would believe me if I put up a picture of me doing one of "Bruce Lee" stylish 'moves'.
I like what Bruce is doing showcasing his hands, with one of them in "uber" close-up, however, and hands are my best feature too, people have said, so why not flaunt them, as my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois suggests to me this morning. Plus she reminds me that I'm good with my hands - witness my recent project to 'enhance' the value of the double doors in our living-room by fitting a difficult necked door-bolt.
And this is the result (see below), a cover picture which has received general approval from at least two of my friends already, and it's always satisfying to get a bit of positive feedback.
my new Facebook cover picture, symbolising, and summing up,
my lifetime of achievements and also my nice hands (!) with it!
Just a couple of early reactions:
Unfortunately, I went too far, however, and in the "
all about me" section of the Facebook profile, I thought it would be amusing to just put the one word "idiot", just for a laugh. Now, however, I find I'm getting "feelers" from other "idiots" on my internet
Linkedin account, implying that I might want to "network" with them, whatever that means, or add them to my coterie of "contacts".
Somebody called "Tim" also describes himself as 'an idiot' apparently (!), and he wants to get to network with me.
What a truly crazy world we live in !!!!!
The moral? Don't mess with your Facebook profile! It isn't clever, and it isn't 'cool'. Whatever you've got on there, just keep it "as is" - it's simply not worth the hassle of trying to "jazz it up". That's my view, and you can quote me on it !!!!
By the way, I want to stress, I'm not actually an idiot - that was just a joke, which is the ironic part!!!
Calling myself an idiot was my way of "cocking a snook" at some of the pretentious Facebook-users such as Albert Einstein, grandly advertising themselves as "world-class physicists" and the like. Get real, people !!!!!
I have been feeling a bit like an idiot this week, however. First. Lois and I visited our daughter Alison over in nearby Headley, Hampshire, yesterday, and we were 'blown away' by the new posters on our 18-year-old granddaughter Josie's bedroom wall. Gone are the pictures of Taylor Swift, to be replaced by mathematical formulas and chemical flow-charts and that kind of malarkey. What madness !!!
flashback to yesterday: Lois and I marvel at the mathematical equations
and chemical flow-charts on our grand-daughter Josie's bedroom wall,
and (bottom right) Josie seen here in happier times, as a fully paid-up "Swiftie" (!)
And Lois and I are made to feel like idiots again this morning, when we take a whatsapp video call with our other daughter Sarah, and with her and husband Francis's 11-year-old twin daughters Lily and Jessica. The family moved out to Perth, Australia last September.
(left) Lois struggling to prop up her phone for our whatsapp video call today
with our daughter Sarah and twin granddaughters Lily and Jessica,
who left the UK for Perth, Australia, last September
Again, it's a bit scary talking to the twins sometimes - they're frighteningly responsible, even at 11, would you believe.
Although only having been at their new Australian primary school for 6 months, Jessica was chosen to "take the lead" apparently for their school's annual ANZAC ceremony, which commemorates the Australian and New Zealand Armed Forces' contribution to the defence of "the mother country" in two world wars. Jessica was chosen to lower and raise the Aussie flag outside the school entrance. And according to the school's associate principal Jessie "spoke so well, and was such a great help in the lead-up to the day, supporting others and jumping in to assist when needed".
our granddaughter Jessica (2nd from right) in rightmost picture,
although a very recent arrival from the UK, was chosen to lower and raise
the Aussie flag at the school's ANZAC ceremony last week
During the video call this morning, when Sarah and the twins are telling us about their struggles with snakes and scorpions in their back garden (YIKES!!!), I try to impress them with my own so-called knowledge of semi-tropical-to-tropical "creepy-crawlies".
Last night Lois and I watched a programme presented by intrepid UK advernturer Steve Backshall, all about his struggles with horrible leeches etc while fighting his way through the Borneo jungle, looking for the world's earliest ever, 40,000 year old cave art.
Eleven-year-old Jessica however, was not impressed by our account of Steve's adventures. "We know
all about Steve Backshall", was all she said, "He's a bit crazy isn't he." Bless her, she's so grown up these days!
But oh dear, poor me, the idiot!!!
Well, it's Easter Monday today, which is a public holiday both in the UK and in Australia, which is nice!
And Lois and I spend a very pleasant Easter Monday here in Liphook, Hampshire, I can exclusively reveal (!).
Lois spends a physically challenging morning clearing out some of the mess in our garage. We only moved to Liphook in January, and the garage is still in a bit of a state, with loads of stuff left behind by the previous owners.
Meanwhile I have the less "butch" and more "poncey" time, preparing vocab sheets for the local U3A "Intermediate Danish" group, that Lois and I lead, "for our sins (!)".
our Easter Monday here in Liphook, Hampshire; (left) Lois spends a
physically challenging morning clearing some of the chaos in our garage,
while I have a more "poncey" time, preparing vocab sheets for the
local U3A Intermediate Danish group, which we both lead "for our sins (!)" !!!
Lois and I were elected "joint-leaders" of our little U3A Intermediate Danish group, simply because we picked up a bit of Intermediate Danish vocab during our other daughter Alison and family's 7 years in Copenhagen 2012-2019, while her husband Ed was working as legal consultant at a Danish company.
flashback to February 2013, and mine and Lois's first visit to Copenhagen:
We visit the Lousiana Art Museum at nearby Humlebæk with our daughter Alison,
her husband Ed, and their 3 children: Josie, Rosalind and Isaac
And talking of Danish vocab, during my preparations today for this Thursday's online meeting of our little group, I come across a problem, dear Reader, which you may be able to help with. Do you know the Danish word "
hyrdetimer"?
[Now you're being silly! - Ed]
Our little group is currently reading a Danish murder mystery novel, "Judaskysset" (English: The Judas Kiss) by Danish writer Anna Grue.
And where we've got up to in the story, a Norwegian woman stockbroker, on a business trip in Copenhagen, has just had a run of luck at the blackjack tables in a local casino, before picking up a Danish male "gigolo" in the bar, who she describes as "the most appetizing [Danish mest appetitvækkende] [thing] she had ever seen", and taking him up to her room for 30 minutes of "hyrdetimer".
It sounds absolutely filthy doesn't it, and it probably was!
The literal meaning of the Danish word "hyrdetimer", however, is "herder time" or "shepherd time", which seems odd. Shepherds have a sexy image, in seems, in most European countries, although not really here in the UK in this writer's humble opinion, at least!
Danish journalist David Jacobsen Turner, writing on the website weekenavisen.dk recently made "hyrdetimer" (English: (literally) shepherd's time) his "word of the week" [Danish: ugens ord]:
And if your Intermediate Danish is getting a little rusty (!), I'll give you a little help here! What David is saying is
"Word of the week: the word hyrdetime "transcends national and linguistic boundaries in common etymological recognition of the shepherd's amorous disposition".
the sheep have to 'baah' amongst themselves, apparently.
when amorous shepherd Daphnis "gets busy" with
latest "squeeze" Chloe, out in the pastoral-style meadows!
Adds Turner: [The shepherd's ] reputation as a lady's friend was established as early as antiquity, most famously in Longos' pastoral novel about Daphnis and Chloe, and since then the job has been synonymous with rural idyll and freedom under high skies, as reflected in both pastoral poetry and painting, where the sunburnt Pamphilius becomes a favourite motif again in the Renaissance.
He has also planted his wand firmly in our native language [i.e. Danish, also other European languages, although not English", Turner concludes.
For me, however, the problem remains: what English phrase for the Danish "hyrdetimer" can I recommend to our old codger Danish U3A group students?
As "Colin's recommended translation" I'm currently going with "hanky-panky hour" - the 'shepherd-time' image just doesn't work in English, I would maintain. And my "hanky-panky hour" solution is also a bit of a nod to the phrase "happy hour", which is probably also the backdrop to our novel's Norwegian woman stockbroker picking up that Danish gigolo in the casino bar after she's cashed in her "chips", and which also makes it even more appropriate as an English translation perhaps! [All right, we get the idea! - Ed]
(left) a typical "happy hour" sign outside an English pub, and (right)
how the signs outside pubs might look if the Continental
"hanky-panky hour culture" ever took off this side of the Channel
I wonder....!
Your views welcome, needless to say (postcards only) ! And by Thursday, please, which is when our next whatsapp group meeting is scheduled. Time is of the essence (or should I say shepherd time is of the essence!?) [No! Ed]
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment