Monday June 9th 2025 "It's not easy coming off the booze, is it! And I'm feeling that today - "in spades" !!!!"

Yes, as my Readers will all know "for their sins" (!), it's not easy coming off the booze is it, as is the "getting onto it", to put it mildly. I think you know what I mean !!!!

Let me put my cards on the table at this point - my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I have just come back to our new home in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire after three days "off the leash" attending a wild family get-together of my old-codger cousins, near Gerrards Cross, Bucks - the town which has the unenviable nickname of "the booze capital of South Buckinghamshire", as I expect you know, so temptation was everywhere, and Yours Truly, sadly, couldn't resist, which was a pity!

Gerrards Cross, Bucks - known as the "Booze Capital of South Buckinghamshire"

- with [insets] three pictures of my shameful weekend drinking bouts

Yes, I'm sorry to have to admit it, but on Friday night I had a medium glass of white wine with my fish, and on Saturday night I had a gin and tonic, followed by a glass of rosé with my sausages and mash.

Well, I'm back "on the wagon" today, Monday, that's for sure! And I'll never touch a drop again, that's for sure - my goodness, no! Yes, today it's finally arrived - "detox-time" !!!!!

At least I'm not the only one round here with a post-drinking problem - there's a guy over in nearby Betty Mundy's Bottom who's in the same situation, as I read in today's Onion News Local - I must give that guy a call and ask for some pointers: memo to self haha !!!!

Poor Swan !!!!!

But it's true that being a recovering alcoholic, like Swan and me are, also bestows certain privileges. Remember Lewis in the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" series, who was able to rebuff, justifiably, the solicitations of a blind beggar by revealing the hell that he himself was going through?

And remember David Mitchell's strategy as a recovering alcoholic, in the "Back" sitcom, of going on impressively long cycle rides, but always along lanes where he'd previously stashed bottles of "hedge vodka" in wayside bushes, about every half mile or so? 

in this scene, recovering alcoholic Stephen (David Mitchell) proudly 

boasts of his bike mileage of 16k (about 10 miles in 'old money'),

partly fuelled by his secret stashes of "hedge vodka" along the way !!!

Well, you see, 100% "cold turkey" is often too hard for us R.A.s (!), and we have to adjust to the brave new post-alcohol world  gradually, if only to avoid any complete relapses: you know it makes sense haha!

But I digress !!! [That's not like you, Colin haha! - Ed].

Because for Lois and me, it's not just coming off the booze that we've got to cope with.

We've also got to get our debauched bodies back into shape after a weekend of too much booze, too much food and too much bed, to put it mildly! And what better way to "detox" from all that, than to go straight out for a walk this Monday morning in nearby Radford Park, right here in Liphook, and see how many birds (of the feathered variety (!)), that we can "bag" (!): a couple of them, seemingly, refugees from so-called "Eurasia", wherever that is (!).

[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]

[That's enough birds! - Ed]

We've also got to wean ourselves off spending too long in bed, but we promise ourselves at least two hours more afternoon "nap-time" today, and we'll think about reducing those particular "numbers", maybe next week? So watch this space!

This afternoon, we've got more than the usual "number" (!) of things to laugh about too, which is nice. Steve, our American brother-in-law, has emailed us with his pick of last week's most amusing Venn diagrams.

Lois agrees with the Venn assessment of "balding guys with ponytails", to put it mildly! 

But handled sensitively, a ponytail can be a bit of a "babe magnet", I think. Former US President Joe Biden tried it once, didn't he, although it quickly vanished I noticed after the initial photoshoot. And Yours Truly did his best, with the famous "mullet" that I grew in the 1990's for Lois's workplace Eighties-themed Christmas Dance. Remember that?

(left) flashback to 2009: Joe Biden at Barack Obama's inauguration

[picture: Onion News], and (right) flashback to the 1990's: me in my 'mullet' 

for one of Lois's workplace Christmas 80's-themed Dances [picture: me]

Happy days !!!!!

21:00 After struggling out of bed and having some nice lamb chops followed by jelly, Lois and I decide to go to bed on bits of Jane Austen: the third and final part of the BBC's series on Jane, "The Birth of a Genius".

Although potentially this is the saddest part of Jane's story, as, later on in her short life, she succumbs to more and more backache and fainting fits, probably caused by a form of TB. 

As it turns out, however, the story isn't so sad after all, however, because, right to the end, Jane's mind is as lively as ever, lively as a jumping bean, and the one thing she's not going to do is to slow down - far from it.

Also, still alive and well is Jane's sense of fun. Although ill herself, she starts on her final (but unfinished) novel Sanditon, about a seaside town with bogus claims of being a "health resort", and so attracting predominantly moaners as its flagship customer base (!). Unlike Jane's previous 3 novels, this one doesn't feature a single heroine, but instead a whole bunch of hypochondriacs, forever worrying about the latest weather forecast.

They stroll over the clifftops, complaining about all their ailments, while looking like the very picture of health. Do you know anybody like that haha!

What madness!!!!

But "Kudos, Jane!", as actor Tom Bennett points out in tonight's programme.

Yes, and it's "Kudos Jane!" from Lois and me too. We so admire Jane's "spunk" (!). Leave 'em laughing when you go, is what she did, and she did it "in spades".

And Lois, who's a bit of an Austen aficionado, to put it mildly, has thoroughly enjoyed this 3-part BBC series, although with one proviso. She says there's still a bit of a question-mark in her mind about a major Austen issue that the series hasn't dealt with.

Lois recalls how Austen's novels all went out of print shortly after her death, in 1817. 

"Why the sudden loss of interest?", I hear her cry. And, after information from Steve, our American brother-in-law, I can now exclusively reveal that it wasn't until some 15 years later that they were "rediscovered", by scholar and publisher Richard Bentley, who revived them for his Standard Novels reprint series in 1833, and the rest is history.

Richard Bentley (1794-1871), the scholar

and publisher who "rediscovered" Austen's novels

and saved them from falling into oblivion

But if YOU know why Jane's novels did fall out of favour for a while, why not drop me your thoughts? Nothing below intermediate-to-advanced Ph.D level, however.  I don't want to hear from "time-wasters" thank you very much (!). Oh, and postcards only, needless to say!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!