It's a common enough problem, isn't - what to give your kids tonight that won't take too long to prepare, especially after a difficult day at the office. Am I right? Or am I right!!!
Worry no more! Because a certain white knight on a golden steed is coming to your rescue: step forward Mr Alex Mason, CEO of Burger King UK no less !!!!
It's a working parent's dream come true - am I right? And here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, this "feel good" story in our print version of Onion News, gives me and my medium-to-hard-pressed wife Lois a wry smile today, as we contemplate the latest batch of amusing Venn diagrams emailed to us by Steve, our American brother-in-law, especially when we get to the part about the so-called "15-minute meals" (!).Less popular with her, she says, is the sometimes 15-day search (!) for some of the unusual ingredients, included simply for their eye-catching novelty and stupidity (!), those hard-to-find "garnishes" that often feature in so many popular recipes these days, especially in those giveaway supermarket magazines.
You make a time-consuming detour to a specialist deli in some nearby modern metropolis, such as Basingstoke, only to use just one tiny bit of these "exotic" ingredients, after which the remainder - half a frog's toe for instance - just sits there, in larder, fridge or freezer, taking up space, before it eventually just gets thrown away - it's sheer madness, isn't it!!
[Is that all you two "noggins" have done today, Colin - had a laugh over some amusing Venn diagrams? - Ed]
Well, no, actually - Lois and I are having quite a taxing day, if you must know!!!!
long-time retirees me and my medium-to-hard-pressed wife Lois -
facing the prospect of yet another taxing day: what madness!!!
The day starts off peacefully enough, with at trip to nearby Grayshott to return two pans to the ironmongers, pans which turned out to be "not suitable for induction hobs" - what madness (again)!!. Then we had to post a letter at what we call "[Victorian authoress] Flora Thompson's Post Office," where she used to work. Then was had to stroll through Grayshott's tiny Memorial Park to get back to where our car was parked. Then we had to drive a couple of miles to "recce" the location of the remote flat that we've got to go to on Friday for our "interview" with Joe, local U3A Old Codger Intermediate Latin Group leader, who has the "say-so" apparently on whether we can join his precious little elite-group - huh !!!
Stop the world, we want to get off haha !!!!!
our "hellishly busy" morning in Grayshott - posting a letter at Flora Thompson's
Post Office and then a punishing stroll through the town's tiny Memorial Park.
But at the same time, I have to say, "Awwwww!!! Poor Granny Robinson!!!", the old lady who planted that lovely tree all those years ago, back in 1911. just 20 years before she eventually died, aged 93, in 1931. "Here's to you, Granny Robinson" (!) copyright Paul Simon. And we'll think of you every time we pass by your tree, and that's a promise haha !!!!
But wait -there's more!
When we get home to Liphook - finally (!), we find that there's even more work for us to do, in preparation for next month's much-anticipated visit from our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and their 11-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, who live in Perth, Australia.
flashback to September 2023: our dear daughter Sarah, with
husband Francis and their 11-year-old twins Jessica (left)
and Lily (right) on a boat trip in the English Lake District
during their 2 years in the UK 2023-2024
Specially for Sarah and family's visit, I've ordered a whizzy new up-to-date "Tomtom" GPS satnav, which I have to puzzle over, with its tiny "quick set-up instructions", in like, a billion languages and printed in a microscopic a font of, like 0.0001 pts.
What madness, isn't it !!!!
flashback to this morning - I struggle to understand the "quick set-up"
instructions for my shiny-new GPS satnav, printed in, like, a billion
languages, in a microscopic font - 0.0001 pts, I'm guessing, i.e. 1/12000 inches
per character - smaller probably! What madness (again) !!!!!
Then we have to think of what the family's sleeping arrangements will be. Poor Francis is not just enormous at, like six foot and, like, a billion inches (!), but also poor Francis has health problems with sleeping, so we'll have to give him a double bed all to himself, and maybe sleep our daughter Sarah on a put-up bed in the lounge; and we'll have to borrow a fold-up bed from our other daughter Alison, for one of the twins What madness (again) !!!!
We've also compiled a list of kids' activities, that will hopefully entertain little Lily and Jessica, our twin granddaughters. Apart from nearby attractions like the local GoApe zipwires, there's Winchester's Planetarium and its zoo, and a bit further field, Portsmouth harbour tours, and going on board the old naval ships like [Admiral] Nelson's HMS Victory etc, plus the aquadrome at Basingstoke etc etc.
Your ideas welcome - postcards only !!!!!
"But what about London, Colin?", I hear you cry!
Yes, another option, and one which Sarah says they're very excited about, is a possible day trip to London, which is only an hour or so by train from Liphook. She wants Lois and me to go along too, but I can foresee that causing problems for us at our advanced age (!). We don't want to hold them up by continually asking to stop for half an hour or so (more, probably!!!) just to get our breath back with a cup of tea at a convenient café, to put it mildly (!).
I personally haven't been to London since 2008, when I was a "sprightly" 62 (!), and had been retired from my job as a medium-to-top-secret agent for a mere 2 years. It was when Tünde, my long-time Hungarian penfriend, was visiting the UK for the first time.
flashback to 2008: at the "marginally sprightly" age of 62, I show Tünde, my long-time Hungarian
penfriend, round London tourist attractions like the London Eye and Madame Tussauds
Oh to be 62 again! Bliss was it that dawn to be alive, and when to be young-to-early-middle-aged was "very heaven"!!! (copyright W. Wordsworth, aged 82 and a half (!)).
(left) Viktor Orbán in 1989, a radical activist working to free Hungary from Soviet
dominance, and (right) Viktor today, hobnobbing with the world's biggest tyrants (!)
One of the hardest things for Hungarians, particularly its older residents, is finding out the truth of their country's current state, with much of the Hungarian popular media under the influence of the ruling Fidesz Party, which Orbán leads.
And today, it seems, that the country's health system is "just vegetating", which is a worry, particularly for its "old codgers", and especially if they're just vegetating themselves or finding themselves suffering from some sort of dangerous condition or other, to put it mildly!
One factor may be Hungary's failure to attract foreign-trained doctors and nurses. An OECD report in late 2024 reported that more and more countries are resorting to employing foreign-trained health professionals to address the labour shortage. More than 40 per cent of doctors working in Norway and Ireland in 2023 graduated abroad. Across the EU, 11.7 per cent of doctors obtained their degree abroad. This compares with a figure of 8.2 per cent in Hungary, which places the country almost in the middle of the list.
Lois and I often say to ourselves that life is very much "swings and roundabouts", depending on when you were born. We're both "boomers", both born in the UK in 1946.
flashback to 1948: me with my sister Kathy, and my father still in uniform,
and (right) Lois, sitting on a bale of hay deep in the Oxfordshire countryside
We were lucky enough in the 1960's and 1970's to benefit from free college education - no fees, and even a generous grant for living and travel expenses. Our working lives were spent in a time of mostly full employment, in jobs not threatened by any of this crazy "AI" madness!
Now, however, we're nearly 80, diagnosed as "clinically old", and, although medical treatment is so much better, even for conditions that were untreatable in the past, hospitals here too are struggling because there are just too many of us "old codgers" who've managed to make it through.
Oh dear!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!
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