Wednesday June 4th 2025 "Do you skip your paper's finance pages - too dull for you perhaps?"

Yes, dear Reader, if you've got a busy morning, do you skip your daily newspaper's finance pages and go straight to the sports results or sex scandal pages? It's a temptation, isn't it, but let me tell you, "skipping the boring old money pages" can cost you dearly and it may be time to reconsider your priorities!

I myself have turned over a new leaf in this department (no pun intended!!!!), and today I went straight to page 94 to see what they're saying in their iconic "Your Money" section. 

Yes, look at me, all grown-up, reading the Onion News's latest finance news, all of a sudden! And by way of a "teaser", here's just one tasty morsel from this morning's offerings!

Kudos, Starmer! And my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I, sitting here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, think that story is also one in the eye for all the "knockers" who say Starmer "can't think outside the box", to put it mildly!

Having said that, I realise you may have been distracted by this morning's big story - another shocking theft from the Dorm Study Area - not a stationery item this time, which is even more worrying. Police believe they're looking for one criminal mastermind they're calling "Mr Big", who's behind this latest crime wave in the area, but Mr (or Mrs) Big's graduation from stationery to food items is causing a lot of anxiety in these here parts at the moment, I can tell you!

 

And unfortunately it's that "M&M" story that's dominating the headlines around the country today - an thank goodness the hapless victim had the sense to count the M&Ms left in his box before leaving for the day, otherwise this shocking crime might have gone undetected, which is a worry.

Hampshire Police later issued this picture

of the box of M&Ms involved in the "heist"

And it's doubly unfortunate that Mr (or Mrs) Big is stealing all the limelight, because the Keir Starmer "shocker" (see above) got somewhat "buried" back on the paper's iconic page 94, and a lot of people may have missed it.

"But why are you so interested in money all of a sudden, Colin?", I hear you cry. [Not me, I'm already propping up the counter at Greggs, waiting for my "coffee and Danish"! - Ed]

Well, let me put my cards on the table at this point. Lois and I only moved to our current home in Liphook, Hampshire a mere 5 months ago, but it's a bit of a concern that our previous home in Malvern Worcestershire, remains unsold. So we're still paying, like, a billion pounds a month - more probably, on two sets of council tax: not just for East Hampshire but for Malvern Hills District Council, at the same time, financing a lot of their current crazy schemes - no fair !!!!

flashback to January 1st: we move all our stuff out of our

old home in Malvern, Worcestershire, to move to Liphook,

but our old house remains unsold  - what madness!!!

And this afternoon, Lois and I are hardly in bed for 5 minutes before Lois's Huawei starts beeping under the bedclothes, and our Malvern estate agent, Kate - who we were sometimes refer to as "the third person in our marriage" (!) - is on the phone talking to us about a possible second price reduction, which could bring in more "punters", she says.

we haven't been in bed five minutes this afternoon before Lois's Huawei

starts beeping under the bedclothes: it's Kate (above, right), our estate agent 

back in Malvern, who's calling us about our house there, 

which still hasn't sold after 5 months - what madness!!!

What madness !!!!!

And that's just our money issues today - Lois and I also have to sort out, like, a billion other problems today, like finding a garage who'll give our little Honda Jazz a service and MOT. Luckily we discover that there's a Honda Dealer in nearby Churt, over the county line in Surrey, which is quite near where our dear daughter Alison lives with husband Ed and their 3 teenage offspring, Josie (18), Rosalind (16) and Isaac (14).

That's nice because we can pop over to Alison's house while they're working on our car. It's great to be near Alison's family, and the benefits are reciprocal too. Just today young Isaac (14) drops by after school today to do a bit of homework in our kitchen - his mum is doing some committee work to do with Headley's upcoming "Open Gardens" week, and she can't pick Isaac up till 5 pm, to take him home.

When Isaac rings our doorbell at 5pm this afternoon, he's just come from another rehearsal for his part as the Tin Man in the school's production of "The Wizard of Oz", in which he'll be singing the iconic "If I Only Had A Heart" song. No problem for Isaac - he's the vocalist in his own boy-girl band which plays regularly at local events.

(above) Isaac performing with his boy-girl group at a local fete,

and (below) early school rehearsals for "Wizard"

Apart from that, preparations for Lois's 79th birthday tomorrow are continuing, although not without a few minor mishaps.

me having a bowl of rice-crispies and a banana

with tomorrow's birthday girl, my medium-to-long-suffering

wife Lois - a recent picture

The plan is that Lois and I are going to be lunching at Beacon Hill's iconic Adriano's Italian Restaurant tomorrow, coming home afterwards to "sleep it off", and then going round to our daughter Alison's house in nearby Churt, for a birthday tea, with Alison and family.

the "beating heart" of nearby Beacon Hill's cultural life

- the village's iconic Italian restaurant, Adriano's

So far so good !!! 

But today, delivery company Evri, puts a spanner in the works, because the arrival of my birthday present to Lois, from local women's clothing giant Peacock's, has been "delayed" - and no reason given!!!!

Thanks a bunch, Evri !!!!

But no matter, because before we go for Lois's birthday lunch tomorrow at Adriano's, the plan is to stop at a ladies wear shop in nearby Grayshott, where Lois can choose her own "extra present" and try them on into the bargain, so all's well, which is nice!

Also today, I work at the computer on my personal home-made birthday card to Lois. 

I always try to make it topical, and earlier this week we both visited Bournemouth on the English Channel coast. On our walk down to the sea-front at Bournemouth, we noticed a blue plaque on the wall to mark the lovely house, now a hotel, where, in Victorian times, Prince Edward, installed his latest "squeeze", actress Lillee Langtry, who came from the Channel Islands, hence her nickname "The Jersey Lily".

flashback to Monday: on our walk down to the sea-front at Bournemouth

we pass the lovely house, now a hotel, where Edward Prince of Wales

installed his latest "squeeze", actress Lillie Langtry, "the Jersey Lily"

I thought that the plaque's description of the prince being "a frequent visitor" was quite romantic really, in a typically Victorian, understated way, and, for my card this year, I've designed  a suitable plaque on the same lines, which we can stick in the house: there's no law to say you've got to talk about frequent visiting a house, you can put anything you like, these days, so fair do's !!! And I won't tell you where I'm going to stick the plaque - that's confidential for the moment, at least!

I'll get a proper plaque made later - this is just a temporary one. I believe Greggs are branching out from blueberry muffins into other blue products, blue plaques being one of their suggested new 'lines'.

So watch this space!

 a typical Greggs - this one's in Sheffield, Yorkshire

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!!!