It was good news from America this morning, wasn't it! Did you see it in the paper? If not, check out the popular "it wasn't all bad " column on page 94 of the print edition [Source: Onion News] !!!
And he'll just have to watch something else on Sunday afternoon TV now !!!! Taking the long view, however, overall it's good news, not just for Roberts but all the world's swimmers and bathers in general, which is nice. The paper promises to print their reactions in tomorrow's paper, to put your order in today with your newsagent - copies are sure to run out pretty quickly (!).
And today, just two days in from the family's arrival, shark-fever is mounting, even here in our house, I have to report!
So, no sharks to report hereabouts, but Sarah's family are still getting excited here today, ahead of tonight's first programme in a new ITV documentary series, with the catchy title "Sharks Beware! Celebrity-Infested Waters!!!" or something similar (!).
However, for Lois and me, it's not quite as peaceful at home today as we imagined it might be, I have to say. Lois has to wash some of Sarah and family's dirty laundry, which they've brought with them from Perth, would you believe! There's some problem with their septic tank and drains at the moment, so they haven't been able to do any laundry for a couple of weeks.
An entertaining first programme in the series, and not just for our Australian visitors - because Lois and I even recognise some of the "celebs", which is unusual for us. Normally "celebrity versions" of game shows and the like are just like the non-celeb versions to us, because usually we haven't got a clue who the celebs are.
Yes, what are you doing here, Helen?
the world's swimmers and bathers "flooding" into some shark-infested
waters today, emboldened by this morning's news from America
"But why are you so interested in potential shark injuries this morning, Colin?", I hear you cry!
Well, seeing as how you're obviously "gagging" to know, judging by all the postcards already flowing into my "postbag" this morning (!), it's because my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are currently hosting our daughter Sarah and family, who, two days ago, flew from Perth, Australia into London's Heathrow Airport, for a two and a half week stay with us.
Sarah and family live just 5 minutes drive from the Indian Ocean in Perth's northern suburb of Yanchep, but they're not tempted to bathe locally in the sea, due to the much-touted "shark menace". But will things change for them now, however, after this morning's bombshell news from the States?
flashback to Saturday - our little "Australian family" join Lois and me
for lunch after their 18-hour non-stop flight from Perth and 40 hours without sleep (!):
(left to right) twins Lily and Jessica, Lois, our son-in-law Francis,
our daughter Sarah, and Yours Truly with my finger on the "selfie" button (!)
Sarah and family's home in the northern Perth suburb of Yanchep (house ringed),
just a 5-minute drive away from the mighty Indian Ocean
True, we live in Liphook, Hampshire UK, a village where no shark-attacks have ever been recorded - I'm pleased to say! Lois and I often go for a morning walk in nearby Radford Park which is bisected by the "mighty" (!) River Wey, but we've never ever ever seen a single fish in it, apart from the day Lois thought she saw a small trout disappearing into the reeds (!).
flashback to Sunday - Lois and I on an early morning walk through
nearby Radford Park along the banks of the mighty (!) River Wey,
where we've never once seen a shark - although we logged
a "possible sighting of a trout" once, it has to be said !!!
Yes, ITV are apparently threatening to throw a bunch of "celebs" to the sharks (or vice versa (!)), and see how they get on, which will be entertaining, to put it mildly !!!!!
But more of that later! Luckily, first, we're all six of us going to be having a "fairly quiet day" today, Monday, and that's official, and it's going to be in two different places!
Sarah and family are going to be driving to Bournemouth on the English Channel coast, so that our son-in-law Francis can show Sarah and the kids the house where he used to live, and also buy them a fish'n'chip lunch at what Francis insists is "the best fish'n'chip shop in the world". Meanwhile, Lois and I are going to be having a quiet day here in Liphook, which will give us a chance to recharge our batteries after the tumults and excitements of the last 2 days, and that'll do us a power of good, that's for sure!!!!
(top pictures) our daughter Sarah, with husband Francis and their 11-year-old twins,
Lily and Jessica, on the sea-front at Bournemouth today, while Lois and I have
a quiet day at home in Liphook, Hampshire, morning coffee and then lunch
in the back garden and an afternoon in bed, so nice and peaceful !!!!
What madness, isn't it !!!!
Meanwhile I'm slaving over a hot smartphone, trying to book SWR (South Western Railway Company) train tickets and sightseeing tickets online, for the planned outing by all six of us to London next week.
Later, however, I cancel the train tickets, which would just be existing digitally, "on my phone", something which is a bit scary for old baby-boomers like Lois and me (!), and I plan to re-book, next time getting "proper traditional tickets" instead, so that Lois and I, after lunch with them all in London next week, can sneak back to Liphook early, on our own, if we decide we want to spend the afternoon in bed.
Busy busy busy !!!!!
15:30 And, as it happens, we're in bed today at 3:30pm-ish when a text comes in from Sarah, to say that they're all just leaving Bournemouth, and should be back here in Liphook in about an hour - yikes, time to "get busy" now, all right !!!
21:00 We watch the first programme in that 5-part ITV reality series about sharks in the Bahamas being thrown to a bunch of celebrities, or something like that!
Tonight, however, we recognise ageing comedian Sir Lenny Henry, who's 66 now apparently, also, plus middle-aged comic Russ Noble, and that Lucy Punch off sitcom Motherland, plus that Rachel Riley, the "words expert" off the daytime quiz show "Countdown", where contestants have to make real words out of a bunch of random letters.
So, actually four celebs that Lois and I actually recognise, so that's a good start!
flashback to 2013, daytime TV's "Countdown" presenter Rachel Riley,
seen here in happier times: a contestant has made "orgasmed"
out of his randomly assigned letters E, A, S, R, P, G, O, M and D
It's supposedly a gentle start to this new reality series tonight, in which our "celebs" are put in a giant cage on their own, and, one after another, get lowered into the sea off the Bahamas. Each one then finds him- or herself surrounded by a bunch of curious sharks, who come up to the bars to take a look, or to "take a lick" in the case of one female celeb, and a lick in a rather embarrassing place to put it mildly!!!
Lois keeps shouting at the screen, advising each celeb, when he or she is inside the cage, to "stay away from the bars!" (wisely in my view!), but what we're really waiting for, is to see which celeb is going to be the one who totally freaks out, and has to be taken back into the "rescue boat".
And yes, step forward Helen George, that actress from the long-running ITV soap "Call the midwife".
Helen has a fear of the sea, a fear of water, and above all, a fear of putting her head under water. So how come she volunteered to take part in the series? Lois and I have a theory that ITV paid her double for agreeing to appear, because the series desperately needed somebody like her to freak out in episode one.
But tell me what you think - postcards only !!!!!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!
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