Dear Reader, are YOU lonely? Do you long for a partner to sing man-woman duets with, on karaoke nights at YOUR local pub?
Well, if so, you're not alone (no pun intended!!!!), at least to judge from this morning's Onion News print edition page 94 - check it now. No, do it NOW haha!!!!!
Poor lonely karaoke enthusiasts !!!!!
But the story gave me and my medium-to-hard-pressed wife Lois a bit of a much-needed chuckle this morning, when we read, later on today, an email from Steve, our American brother-in-law, containing his selection of this week's most amusing Venn diagrams.
Check out amusing Venn diagram no. 2 in Steve's selection - see below !!!!!
And friends, wouldn't be great to see Nigel and Donald exercising their vocal chords together (or nearly together !!!!) on one of the classic karaoke duets, like "Summer Nights" or "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" ? Am I right? Or am I right!" !!!!!!
We've watched Donald doing numbers with (or on !!!) some of his closest colleagues, the likes of Jeffrey Epstein, Rupert Murdoch and Vladimir Putin.
Nigel [sings plaintively]: "Don't Go Breaking My Heart, [Donald]!", to which
Donald [sings reassuringly in reply], "I Couldn't If I Tried, [Nigel]!"
[That's really more than enough whimsy, Colin! - Ed]
Well, Lois and I need a bit of a chuckle today, because, sadly, our dear daughter Sarah and her family have come to the end of their 16-day stay with us here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, UK, and are jetting off around midday back to their home in Perth, Australia. Sob, sob !!!!!!!
Lois and I look out of our bedroom window at 5:30 am, would you believe, and see Sarah's husband Francis already loading up the family's rental car for the drive to London's Heathrow Airport.
Lois and I look out of our bedroom window at 5:30am
to see our son-in-law Francis loading up the boot
of their rental car for the drive to London's Heathrow Airport:
in the background can be seen the nearby Radford Park, where Lois and I
took our twin granddaughters just yesterday - sob sob !!!!!
Their flight doesn't leave till 11:55am, but Francis is keen to get going early - not only will he have to negotiate London's morning rush-hour on the M25 etc, but he'll have a hard time explaining to the car rental company all the dents from Saturday, when he tried to drive under a car park barrier in Guildford, Surrey, just as it was coming down.
Oops !!!
However, all too soon, they're saying goodbye to us, leaving Lois and me "alone again - naturally" (copyright Gilbert O'Sullivan) - only exacerbating the existing so-called "loneliness epidemic" (see Onion story above !!!!) !!!!!
our dear daughter Sarah, husband Francis, and their 12-year-old twin daughters
Lily and Jessica leave us at the end of their 16-day stay here, and start on the 40-mile
drive to London's Heathrow Airport for their midday flight to Perth, Australia
Poor us !!!!!!
"Alone Again (Naturally)" - Yours Truly and my medium-to-hard-pressed
wife Lois (a.k.a. Mrs Yours Truly) - a recent picture
14:00 There's now nothing left for me and Lois to do now but to spend the afternoon on a long, comfortable shower, followed by about 18 hours in bed, "fuelled" by some of the left-over snacks from Sarah and family's time with us. Well, wouldn't you, if you had the chance?
Every so often, however, we "take a break" (!), just to check on Sarah and family's progress, using the shiny-new FlightAware app on our "his and hers" smartphones (!).
By two in the morning BST their plane is safely on its way across the Indian Ocean, landing in Perth around 5:15 am BST - 12:15 pm local time, only about a quarter of an hour behind schedule, which isn't bad. But they must be feeling pretty rough, travelling economy through the night.
Knowing the twins, however, they're sure to be as bouncy as ever, and looking forward to seeing their young Australian-American friends Samara and Gianna, plus American mum Charissa and Australian dad Todd, at whose house they'll be spending Wednesday night.
Poor Sarah has had to "requisition" our living-room as a bedroom and
flashback to June 2021: the twins (centre), near their home in Perth,
Western Australia, photographed here with their Australian-American
"besties" - Samara (right) and Samara's little sister, Gianna (left)
Lois and I have had so much fun with Sarah and family here in Liphook over the last 16 days, but if we're honest, we have to say that we're also totally exhausted by it all.
Well we are 79, you know! [You don't say! - Ed]
Starting Wednesday, we'll be able now to get back to our normal routine, going for proper walks, watching proper "telly", also wandering about the house improperly dressed, having meals when we want, not queuing for the bathroom, not bothering to lock the bathroom door, etc etc.
the bolt on our bathroom door - a recent picture
We'll get our living-room back - it's been serving as Sarah's bedroom. She's been sleeping there on a folding camp-bed, due to Francis's current health problems, which are giving him disturbed nights. And we'll also get our kitchen table back, which has been serving as Sarah's "office". While with us, she's been continuing to work at her two jobs - as an accountant for a firm in Perth, Australia, as well as being an accountant for a firm in Evesham, UK.
our kitchen dining-table as her "office space" - what madness !!!!
Also, Lois and I will be able to go back to "being naughty" (!), whenever we want to. During his family's visit here, our son-in-law Francis, when giving "health and safety" advice to his wife and family, had a tendency to include Lois and me in his instructions (well he is the son of two headteachers!), giving us all the benefit of his wide reading of the health and safety pages in the topical magazines he reads, so "Kudos!" to him, fair enough!
flashback to Thursday: our son-in-law Francis, on the Thames Embankment,
London, giving his wife and family some sensible "health and safety"
pointers at the start of our recent day-trip to London
Will Lois and I act "healthily and safely" from now on, or will we just "let rip"? Well, we are 79, you know. [Do stop saying that! - Ed] So why not take the risk at our advanced age! We might as well enjoy ourselves, at least till our luck runs out - that's what we say haha !!!!!
[I wouldn't trust you two "noggins" to remember any health and safety rules for more than about 5 minutes, let alone keep to them! - Ed]
Despite everything, Lois and I have loved every single minute of Sarah and family's visit, and we can't wait for the next one - hopefully in 2026.
Bring it on !!!!!!
Will this do?
[Oh just go back to sleep! - Ed]
22:00 We stay in bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!
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