Danskcolin: Sunday May 25th 2025 "What's top of the to-do-list whenever YOUR 'family' comes to stay, I wonder! "

Ageing parents, here's another rather personal question for you, but I make no apology for it!

[Why not? - Ed]

Here's the thing.... What's the most important thing for ageing parents to do when expecting their grown-up children home on a visit? Well, before you answer, just give me 5 minutes to let me tell you what one local ageing couple do when their son Jason needs a break [source: Onion News] !

So the answer's obvious now, am I right? What ageing parents need to do when they're planning their grown-up offspring's visits is to set the right tone, of course - that, and also find a mattress that fits between all the junk and unwanted furniture in the so-called "guest bedroom" !!!!

But let me put my cards on the table at this point!

"Yours Truly" and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois, a.k.a "Mrs Yours Truly" (!) are expecting a visit in July from our daughter Sarah and her family, who'll be flying into the UK from Perth, Western Australia, in the middle of the month.

flashback to last September. Alcester UK: Lois and I (left) host a farewell meal

for our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and twins Lily and Jessica,

just 24 hours before they boarded a flight from London (Heathrow) to Australia

And here, at our current home in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, one of the top jobs on mine and Lois's to-do-list is (a) compile a list of simple DIY tasks for Sarah's husband Francis to do, to make him feel useful and not just his wife's "appendage" (!), and (b) find a suitable mattress for him - the guy must be at least 6ft 3in, and he likes to sleep flat out on his back, we've been reminded (!).

our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and

their 11-year-old twins Jessica and Lily, seen

here on a visit to a beach near Perth, accompanied by

Lois's second cousin Sylvia, now from Melbourne, but originally

a Cox from Oxfordshire, who moved to "Oz" as a child in the 1950's

While Francis is here, we'll take the opportunity to get his height checked scientifically, using local handyman Russell's laser-based "gizmo" that he used to do some jobs in our house recently, The gizmo, Russell says, uses the latest satellite imagery and technology to get a really accurate "reading" on distances, directions, plus heights and widths, the real "nuts and bolts" (no pun intended!!!!) of a handyman's very existence and livelihood.

flashback to April: local hi-tech handyman Russell sets up a laser-generator-thingummy

from floor to ceiling, before hanging and hangs pictures in our living-room

on the thingummy-generated pink beam, which acts as a "virtual picture rail"

Luckily it's Sunday today, time for our regular weekly whatsapp video call with Sarah and the twins, which gives us the opportunity to confirm up-to-date estimates of Francis's current height, ahead of their visit. He's finally stopped growing, Sarah says (!) - well he is pushing 60, so fair enough, Lois and I say !!!

our whatsapp video call this morning with our daughter Sarah (47)

and her 11-year-old twins Lily (right) and Jessica

Of course, when the family spend their 2 weeks in the UK in July, they won't just be visiting Lois and me. Sarah, who's a chartered accountant, is still doing her old job in the UK "remotely", as well as her new job in Perth, so she can call the visit a "work trip" and write her expenses off for tax purposes. Don't ask me what that means, but Sarah assures me it's strictly legal, from an accountant's point of view at least (!) - and as an accountant she knows all the "loopholes", to put it mildly (!).

This does mean, however, that she's got to at least "stick her head around the door" at the premises of her UK job in Evesham, Worcestershire UK, while she's visiting the UK in July. Also the kids Lily and Sarah want to say hello to their former classmates at their school in Dunnington, Warwickshire, and attend the school-leavers ceremony etc etc.

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

flashback to 2015: Sarah (second from right) with colleagues

at the Evesham accountancy firm for which she now

works "remotely", from Perth, Western Australia, if you please!!!

What madness !!!!!!

One of the last acts the twins did at their old primary school near Evesham, Worcestershire last summer, was to put together, and bury, a time capsule, together with their classmates and their charismatic teacher Mr Palmer.

flashback to July 2024 at a county primary school near Alcester,

Warwickshire: Lily (top right) and Jessica (bottom left) get the

chance to hold their school's time capsule before it gets

buried for posterity by their inspirational teacher, Mr Palmer

Awwww !!!!!

They'll also want to spend some time with Sarah's sister Alison and Alison's husband Ed, and their 3 teenage offspring Josie (18), Rosalind (16) and Isaac (14), who live 5 miles away from us in Headley, Hampshire.

Sarah's twins will turn 12 when they're on their visit in July, and by coincidence their cousin Isaac will be turning 15 on the same day.

flashback to July 2013: just as we were celebrating little Isaac's 3rd birthday,

in our former home in Cheltenham, news came in that the twins

were being born in Gloucester, and we say first pictures of on Alison's phone

And one of the things Lois and I are doing currently is planning for their birthday, with current top choice being a pizza at Liphook's iconic "Guido's Restaurant". An Italian tourist, Angelina Biasella Amato (crazy name, crazy gal!) went on the internet last year to say that Guido's pizza was "the best she ate while in England", which is a recommendation good enough for us, to put it mildly!

Lois and Alison are also planning for the birthday trio to see an open-air performance of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" in a pub garden near Petersfield, which I'm sure Lois, Alison and Sarah, and the twins will love, although I personally am not so sure whether it'll be 15-year-old Isaac's "cup of tea" - well, we'll just have to see! Tickets are being bought online as I write these words!

I wonder.....!

As luck would have it, Alison and Ed pay us a visit this afternoon, popping round from their home 5 miles away in Headley, Hampshire, and we take the opportunity to "fine-tune" arrangements for July, and the joint birthday celebrations.

Lois and I only moved into our current home in Liphook 4 months ago, and the previous residents have left a lot of "junk" in the garage, in the garden shed etc, which Lois and I initially thought might be useful, but which we've changed our minds about. Ali and Ed have offered to take it all away on their trailer to the "County Tip" at Bordon, which will be a relief.

Hampshire County Council (HCC) has been trying to close the tip to save money, but local Councillor Andy Tree (crazy name, crazy guy!) has been unstinting in his efforts to keep it open, according to his Facebook page, so all credit to him!

And here's my pledge to you, dear Reader. Send me your name and address and I'll get those vital "tip details" to you ASAP, as soon as we get them from Tree, so watch this space!

Yes, Ali and Ed join us today for a cup of Earl Grey tea in the living-room, followed by an inspection of the garden. Lois and I showcase for them our newly discovered "bee colony", and reveal our plans to landscape the area, hoping to give those hard-working "little buggers" somewhere to relax when they're not either working, droning or having sex with their 'queen'.

What a crazy life they lead, to put it mildly, and they don't get much leisure time, hence mine and Lois's plans to let them chill out and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature - it's only fair haha !!!