We've all done it! House-guests who've annoyed our house-hosts by outstaying our welcome! But relief for hosts has come at last from camping gear specialists Big Agnes (Europe) - it was all over the "camp" section of this morning's Onion News for East Hampshire - check out page 94 !!!!
And to be fair, nobody likes a leak do they.
After all, what is a leak? Surely it's essentially something you prize (in this case air) escaping to somewhere where you've got enough of it already, to put it bluntly! [Good, succinct definition, Colin, and I'm passing it on to Susie Dent at the OED, I don't think (!) - Ed]
And the story brought a chuckle to the faces of me and my mild-to-moderate wife Lois and me this morning as we sipped our green tea today, in our lovely new home in rural, grassy and semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, let me tell YOU!
my mild-to-moderate wife Lois and me - recent pictures
"Weeks of Leeks", would be my first "stab" at the chapter-heading wording in our projected "tell-all" history of our 53-year marriage. And by all means let me know your chapter heading ideas, but do it soon: the book's coming out tomorrow - allegedly (!). Oh, and postcards only, needless to say haha!!!!
Don't forget the stamp haha !!!!
Leaks, Colin????", I hear you cry!
Well, yes, leaks!!!!!
Last month we got our first water bill, since moving to Liphook, in which South East Water claimed we've been using two and a half times as much water as our neighbours - and our careless neighbours at that! And compared to our so-called "efficient" neighbours (Keith and Christine across the street maybe? We're not sure!), we've been using water at 5 times their rate.
Allegedly!!!!
Us, a quiet elderly couple who only shower once a week, and save our waste water in buckets to throw on the garden!!!
What madness (again) !!!!! [That's enough madness! - Ed]
Luckily, today proves to be one of these happy days when everything gets sorted out - a local plumber, Darren, a real Cockney "geezer" [no pun intended!!!], finds a leak in our water supply pipe, and he and his son Kyle dig up a bit of our driveway and they repair it for us. They take even take a "before" video of the water spurting out and show it to us, which is nice, and which gives us some comfort when we pay his enormous bill! And South East Water say they'll give us a rebate on our water bill, which is nice.
local Cockney "geezer" Darren, and his son Kyle find a leak
in our water supply pipe and repair it for us
Lookalike
(left) local Cockney cheerful-chappie plumber Darren
and (right) Chas of "Chas & Dave" Cockney cheeky-chappie duo fame
For Lois and me, today is just one of those golden days when all our problems seem to disappear in a puff of smoke. Since we moved to Liphook, Hampshire in January, we've been trying to sell our old house in Malvern, Worcestershire, and we've finally found a young couple who want to buy it. They're first time buyers so have no house to sell, but they're taking their time over the whole business, which is annoying. Today, however, we get confirmation from our solicitors that the sale is "still on track" which is nice.
(left, centre) our old house in Malvern, Worcestershire, still unsold
after 8 months, and (right) our current house in Liphook, Hampshire
Yes, it's a red-letter day, that's for sure! And guess what, Lois and I celebrate by spending the afternoon in bed! Well, wouldn't you if you had the chance? [Exactly when do you two lazy "noggins" not spend your afternoons in bed! - Ed]
Well we don't mind, because we simultaneously keep ourselves "updated" by all the news flashes coming in on our phones, which is nice. I'm sure Donald Trump, who's approximately the same age as us, probably keeps himself "up to speed" while he's taking his afternoon naps at the White House, wouldn't you think?
flashback to 1984: Lois and me in the Blue Ridge Mountains
of Virginia with our two young daughters Alison (9) and Sarah (7)
- happy days!
Later today, Steve, our American brother-in-law and also our "US correspondent" sends us this clever Venn diagram, a bit tongue-in-cheek maybe, which explains some of our questions, while raising a bunch of others - oh dear!
Yikes !!!!
Come back Reagan, all is forgiven haha !!!!
Yes, it's nice to look back, though, whether it's on good times or bad, and tonight Lois and I go to bed on a nostalgic Channel 5 documentary on the long hot drought-affected summers of those crazy mid-1970's!
In tonight's programme in Channel 5's "Weird Weather" series, former topless Page 3 model Linda Lusardi recalls the halcyon days of summer '75, when for 15 consecutive days, temperatures across the UK reached at least 90F (32C), peaking at 95F (35C) in July 1975 in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, of all places, where Lois and I were living at the time, and poor Lois was 8 months pregnant with Alison, our first child.
flashback to 1975: Lois amid the parched grass of the back garden
of her parent's home in Cutteslowe, Oxford
Everyone was stripping off, Linda recalls, not just herself on Page 3 of The Sun (!), and the beaches were so crowded she had trouble finding a spot to film one of her Daily Mirror commercials.
Linda recalls how 1975 was a very much a real feel-good summer for the UK, with supersonic airliner Concorde starting its first commercial flights across the Atlantic. Linda was one of the first ever passengers, as she recalls in this sequence:
I've also wanted to do that!!!! But on a practical note, let's hope there was no awful mess for the cleaners to deal with after the plane landed in New York!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment