First, let me put my cards on the table, for once (!). My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are both incorrigible 'history-buffs' and we make no apology for our sometimes obsessive interest in the past.
[Why not? - Ed].
me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois
- a pair of incorrigible "history buffs"
And every morning, when our local print copy of Onion News (East Hampshire) comes "plopping" through our letterbox, there's always a bit of "rough-housing" between us, as we try to get to the front door first, simultaneously getting our hands ready for some "thumb action", each of us hoping to be the first to get to the paper's popular "history column", back there on page 94, as per usual (!).
Call us completely mad, if you like !!!!
Also, no prizes today for guessing exactly which dazzling historical breakthrough I'm going to headline for you! Oh dear me, no contest, and not exactly rocket science - it's quite a "doozy", isn't it!!!
And later, when we talk to my younger sister Gill, we're curious to get her views, because in the last week she and her daughter Lucy have returned to England from a cruise down Europe's Atlantic coasts to Lisbon and back, stopping at Vigo, Oporto with its optional 'O' on the front (Oh! Porto!), and Cherbourg, not necessarily in that order (!).
[Once again, you're let down by your ignorance of European geography, aren't you, Colin, which is such a pity, in my view, and tends to devalue your otherwise incisive foreign travel descriptions - just saying! - Ed]
Lisbon was very much the highlight of the cruise, Gill says, with its colourful history and its charming Islamic influences. And she also recommends paying extra to get a balcony attached to your cabin (hopefully, all fully (and firmly) attached before you arrive on board (!)), so that you can watch the sun rising and setting, or sometimes setting and rising, depending on the time of day (!), and also get lovely views of the ship coming into port etc.
What madness, wasn't it !!!!!
[You tight bastard, Colin! - Ed]
[Here's my map, Colin - European geography isn't exactly
rocket science either, is it! - Ed]
Gill says that cruising today is basically the same as in the 17th century, although the once-popular 'flagellation nights' have been discontinued. They've been replaced by singers singing excerpts from musicals, plus naff conjurors, and other modern light-entertainment 'staples'. Flogging seems now to be generally 'off the menu', although she can't vouch for what goes in the cabins at night, obviously!
More seriously, [At last! - Ed] Gill and daughter Lucy thoroughly enjoyed the experience, once they'd got used to being in the huge crowds that you get on today's cruises. Cruise ships have become so massive now, that passengers just have to learn where to choose the best time of day and the best areas of the ship to spend time in, if you want to avoid being crushed to death in the "melé", several times a day usually (!).
my younger sister Gill with daughter Lucy, at Lisbon
The weather was pleasantly warm, Gill reports, although the Bay of Biscay, west of France, lived up to its stormy reputation, borne witness to by salty English 'tars', and celebrated over centuries of sea-shanties.
Apart from Gill's lively phone-call at 4pm today, it's a fairly quiet but busy day for Lois and me, I can here exclusively reveal, with Lois using the sunshine to make a refreshing start on this year's gardening "issues", and me on the computer sorting out the business side of our lives.
[You lazy bastard, Colin! - Ed]
a typical scene - me at my laptop, equipped with two keyboards
for added efficiency, saving me valuable seconds when sorting our
complex business issues, including multiple council tax bills,
and multiple gas, electric and water bills etc - quite a nightmare !!!!!
Well, you see, there are quite a few business issues to sort out, and there's a reason for that. It was only in January this year that we moved to our current home in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, but, annoyingly, we still haven't sold our previous house in Malvern. Worcestershire.
The result is that we have to pay two lots of council tax, as well as, admittedly, fairly low amounts on our water and electricity bills etc for the old house, presumably for when our estate agent in Malvern takes prospective buyers to see the house, and they switch the odd light on, or go the loo maybe, taking as long as they like - in short, having a very good time at our expense, which is a bit galling, to put it mildly !!!!
What a crazy world we live in, don't we !!!!!
another modern scandal, too often swept under the carpet -
every time a prospective house-buyer switches the light on
and goes to the loo in our former home, they don't pay a penny,
but it costs Lois and me money, crazy as it may seem!!!
Meanwhile, while I'm struggling indoors with the computer side of things, Lois is outside, able to enjoy today's sunshine, doing a bit of weeding, and uncovering more previously hidden paving-stones, which we think could be Roman, we're not sure!
in her work today, Lois uncovers even more "secret" paving stones,
possibly Roman, but we're not sure - what madness, isn't it !!!!
Lois says it feels like quite an adventure discovering what the plants are, as and when they start blooming, and trying to decode the absurd logic of the previous residents' design features, which at the moment seem nothing short of crazy, "unhinged" even, to put it mildly!!!!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!
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