Essay-writing contests - have YOU entered one recently? I'm guessing the answer is probably a resounding "No!", but why not surprise me, perhaps, with your latest essay (postcards only haha!).
Whatever! The future of essay-writing contests is certainly being threatened these days by the growth of popular video-clips, according to the following, rather doom-laden story in today's Onion News for East Hampshire, to put it mildly!
"Shock horror!!!! The death of the written word!!!!", is the reaction of my medium-to-light wife Lois and me this morning in our comfortable book-lined living-room as we browse this Onion story!
my moderate-to-light wife Lois and me taking lunch later today
in our back garden, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire
But is it all doom and gloom, as The Onion suggests?
One thing is certain - the human race will never give up its fanatical devotion to competitions of all sorts, be it Nobel peace prizes or humble sausage eating contests, you name it!
And this morning, during mine and Lois's weekly video call with our daughter Sarah in Perth, Australia, the big story is our twin 12-year-old granddaughters' school cross-country race which is coming up fast (no pun intended!). Little Lily and Jessica are both looking forward to this one - particularly Lily, the more competitive spirit of the two.
Lois and me talking to our daughter Sarah and 12-year-old twins
Lily and Jessica 9000 miles away in Perth, Western Australia
And this morning we recall that epic school cross-country race of a few years ago - the one where Lily discovered half-way through the race that she ought to be wearing her hat in the baking Aussie sunshine: she ran all the way back to the starting line to pick up her hat, but then pounded her way back into the race, working her way through the "pack", and finishing up by taking the bronze.
That Lily - what a fighter!
And for many spectators, the scene must have recalled that Cole Porter song "Well, Did You Evah...?" (1939), celebrating that other fearless "woman fighter" - sadly today known only by her epithet of "dear Blanche", who was famously run down mid-race by an avalanche, but who "got up and finished fourth". More than one or two of those spectators watching that school race that day under the baking Aussie sun will have recalled that epic fight-back, Lois and I are certain of that!
flashback to 1956: Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, here
toasting runner Blanche's epic 4th-place. post-avalanche fight-back
celebrating Blanche's avalanche-affected performance (at the Berlin
Olympics maybe? I think we should be told, Cole!)
Yes, the human race just loves to compete, that's for sure!
And today, it's all about competition for Lois and me too, as we fight each other (not physically!) to be the first to come up with answers to the puzzles at the back of this week's Radio Times. Our combined efforts result in us scoring another astonishing 9/9 on the prestigious "The Chase" questions, although we always say we're just good at guessing when we don't know, and I think there's a lot of truth in that.
Like with Question 5, for example: what question-setter would think of listing "Arsenal Reserves" as a possible answer to this question, unless it were true.
Think about it - it isn't exactly rocket science, is it haha!
And after the "heat" (no pun intended!) of that particular conjugal contest (!), we cool off with a chuckle over Dictionary Corner's Susie Dent entry this week, which is nice!
[That's enough unfunny puns! - Ed]
And when I drive Lois down to Petersfield to attend her church's Sunday Morning Meeting, we find that competition is also the theme of the sermon from this week's visiting preacher.
Lois and me this morning, waiting for the meeting to begin.
This week's preacher takes as his text the great contest between Elijah and 450 prophets of the god Baal. It was a contest to see whether Elijah's God Yahweh, or rival god Baal, would be first to bring down fire and brimstone on a sacrificial bull, with Elijah making it harder for himself by dowsing his bull with 12 large jars of water.
Elijah (arms outstretched) wins the contest by causing Yahweh
to bring down fire and brimstone on a sacrificial bull, as (left) some of the
the 450 prophets of competing god Baal try to hide their disappointment
at Baal's apparent failure to "step up" and burn the bull first
After winning the contest, Elijah personally kills all 450 prophets on the losing Baal "team", so the whole thing ends very badly for them, to put it mildly!
Luckily, in today's competitions, like the Eurovision Song Contest, for example, the winning OR the losing artists' powerful desires to murder all their competitors aren't encouraged (!).
And Lois and I didn't know, until we sit down this evening for a bit of "telly on the couch" (!), that music contests are nothing new. They had them in Ancient Greece, would you believe, although all the competitors were basically "singing for Greece" or at least for one part of the Greek world or another, so it was a Greek entry that usually won - surprise surprise!
included for comparison purposes: a modern Eurovision scoreboard
where Greece comes a disappointing 34th out of 37 - poor Greece !!!!!
And I'm sure it would have been "nul points" for the UK even if we'd been invited to take part, so "nah nah na nah nah" to them haha !!!
flashback to Eurovision 2021: the UK's entry
comes 26th out of 26 with the iconic "nul points" - what madness !!!
All is revealed in an interesting BBC documentary tonight about efforts to recreate ancient music by studying notes found on ancient papyri and the like, and painstakingly turning them into modern musical notation, so we can hear, and even maybe get to whistle some of those very old tunes (!).
Even in those crazy, far-off days, it seems, there was the fear of post-contest violence, like that between Elijah and the prophets of Baal, breaking out, in particular, from the disappointed song-contest losers; particularly violence directed against the judges (!). However, we learn tonight that the judges used to take precautions, routinely arming themselves with a bunch of sticks just in case - good call, probably!
Nice one !!!! And worth a drachma or two probably!
But what a crazy world they lived in back in the 4th century BC !!!!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!
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