Saturday April 19th 2025 "Are YOU a back-up singer, not quite sure how to "add value" to your lead vocalist?"

Yes, dear Friend, are YOU a back-up singer, not quite sure how to 'add value' to your lead vocalist? Most of my readers are, I've discovered - somewhat to my surprise (!) - from my daily rather heavy "postbag" of cards and letters, most of which air this very problem, would you believe!

And here's another "worry twig" to add to your "anxiety tree" (!) There's a danger that if you don't "get it right", you could fall foul of hard-working local music critics working for the Onion News' popular "Your Backup Singers Tonight" column (!). 

Just saying!!!!

It's a bit of a dilemma for back-up singers, and it always has been, if we're honest. It's just that nobody's ever noticed it, until now, that is. And, by the way, my congratulations to local concert-goer Jeff Graham (see story above) for landing the post of Onion News East Hampshire's first ever music critic. 

Kudos, Jeff! And I understand the paper's local editors-in-chief are even thinking of starting a popular "Latest Recordings" Column to their already bulging 'organ' (!). No prizes for who's going to be heading up that newest 'cubby hole' in the towering Onion Building in Nether Wallop, known affectionately as "The Gherkin" (!), now officially listed as East Hampshire's tallest building - at a staggering 4 storeys height. Yikes - Vertigo Central or what!!!

the attractive four-storey "Gherkin", powerhouse of the 

local Onion News, now officially the tallest building in 

leafy, semi-rural Nether Wallop

And those backup singers' dilemma is a story that my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I discuss with some amusement as we take our morning walk today round the lovely local 200 ft natural crater, the Devil's Punchbowl, staring into the abyss, as we call it, almost literally !!!

My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me today, on our morning walk

"staring into the abyss", around the rim of the 200ft natural crater, 

the Devil's Punchbowl, just outside Hindhead, Surrey

To be frank, however, we're more interested in the birdsong than in the sycophantic 'parrots' that were so comprehensively by 'rubbished' by budding local music critic Jeff Graham in this morning's paper. "What bird makes that sound?", is what I keep asking Lois, who's my 'guru' when it comes to birdsong.

And for, like, the billionth time, we say to each other, "We must get that app that our daughter Ali was telling us about" - you know, the one that tells you what species of birds it can hear in your vicinity: merlin is it called or something like that?

Plus, is there an app that identifies some of these modern pop-singers we hear whenever we go to our daughter Ali's house. Ali and family live at Headley, just five miles from leafy, semi-rural Liphook, where Lois and I live, and we're due to go there tomorrow, Sunday for Easter Day lunch.

Famously, Lois and I can no longer identify any modern celebrities older than, say, singer Frank Sinatra who played Father Jack on Father Ted [Whaaaat? - Ed]. As a result, to us, 'Celebrity Editions' of popular game shows etc are just the same as the ordinary editions, which is a bit of a relief in some ways, to put it mildly! [Frank Sinatra died in 1998 and actor Frank Kelly died in 2016. Just saying! - Ed]

                                         Kelly                                        Sinatra

And when it comes to these modern 'singers', we just give up!!!! [I've been advising that for years! - Ed] As Bing Crosby famously said to Frank Sinatra in the film "High Society", "You must be one of the younger fellas!".

20:00 Luckily when Lois and I settle down on the couch this evening for a bit of mindless "telly", we can see programmes about singers we do still remember - Mick Jagger and Paul Simon - which is a bit of a morale booster for our failing powers of memory, to put it mildly!

Lois and I knew that Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel spent some of their early years together in England, busking on the streets etc. We didn't know, however, that "Homeward Bound" was written on Widnes Railway Station up in Lancashire, which Lois has experienced, and which, she says, is "the most god-forsaken railway platform in the country". 

It's perhaps one more proof that it's suffering that gives birth to some of the singing world's most moving songs, maybe?

I wonder....! 

And there's more suffering on view tonight, and in spades. Remember that awkward moment on US television back in 1976, when Simon was due to sing one of mine and Lois's favourite Paul Simon songs - "Still Crazy After All These Years", and he had been persuaded by the producers, against his better judgment, to dress up as a turkey, partly because it was Thanksgiving?

Paul, singing one of mine and Lois's favourite Paul Simon songs, 

"Still Crazy After All These Years", live on US television

And do you remember the embarrassing scenes when Simon decided, mid-song, to abandon his performance, in a mixture of revulsion and disgust, partly at himself?

Unfortunately the show was going out live, so the whole 'furore' between Simon and the producers was played out live before an audience of millions. And I reproduce the "barney" here in full, because it could be instructive. You see, Simon's career never did recover from this low point, did it.

Sad in a way, isn't it, that a great career should come to an end in this way, but that's the downside to performing live, unfortunately. The dye is cast, the genie's out of the bottle, and.... [All right, we get the idea! - Ed]

Poor Simon !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!