Yikes - oh no! My wife's set me up to go on a blind date tomorrow, and it's with somebody I've never met!.
[That's what "blind date" means, Colin! For your next blog 'post', why not do your research BEFORE you start your moaning! - Ed]
I must say, that even though I'm got to the grand old age of 79. would you believe (!), I have ot admit that I'm more than a little nervous about my "date" !!!! Those awkward "first dates" - it's so hard to get them right, isn't it, even after a lifetime of "first-dating", isn't it, to put it mildly !!!!!
And if, like me, you live in quiet, leafy semi-rural Liphook, Hampshire, you'll have seen the bombshell headlines in this morning's Local Onion News - it was, like literally, all over page 94 in the early editions. You must have seen it - it's quite a "doozy" !!!!!
I can only hope that I don't repeat Scanlon's mistake on my blind date tomorrow afternoon - yikes!
Lois drops by at Liphook's only florist, "Alfie's Flowers"
to pick out a suitable floral gift for tomorrow's "date"
Lois's plan is for me and my "blind date" to start things off gently with a visit to a local Hampshire garden centre, for me to buy something, maybe a garden fork (?), which Lois and I badly need anyway, and then for me and my "date" to really start to get to know each other, no pressure, with just some light conversation over a coffee at the garden centre's little mini-restaurant.
a typical local garden centre, just outside the
aptly named village of Rake, East Hampshire
"Just take your pick of garden centres, Colin!" is what Lois says to me, in her 'matter of fact' way! But there's problem number one, right there, staring me in the face - the fact is, we're a bit "spoilt for choice" in this part of East Hampshire, there are, like, a billion garden-centres within easy reach of Liphook - they're almost "legion" (!).
Which one should I choose?
I wonder.....!!!!
garden centre, where I can pick out a garden fork, and other essentials
But - wait for it - here's problem number 2 with my tomorrow's date. It's with a married man, and his name is Maurice, although the name itself isn't a problem particularly, it's more the sex - Maurice's sex, I mean !!!!!
two older men on a typical "first date" at a garden centre café
I've never met Maurice - it's going to be a "blind date", after all.
But at this point let me put my cards on the table (!). There isn't going to be any "sexual" component to the "date", because neither of us is gay shock horror! And, in fact, Lois has set me up on this "date" simply so that she and Maurice's wife Betty can have a good old woman-to-woman-to-woman "chin-wag" with their friend Ruth at Ruth's house, without any 'useless' men hanging around. See, simples !!!!
And those flowers - the "kalanchoes" that Lois picked out at Alfie's Flowers this morning: they're intended for Ruth, not for Maurice. Not that there would necessarily be anything wrong in giving Maurice flowers. Just saying !!!!!
me, still not-gay after all these years, seen here during my morning
walk today over Old Man Lowsely's Farm just outside Liphook, Hampshire,
with Lois, my medium-to-long-suffering wife of 53 years
Myself - yes, I'm "straight". And so is my "blind date" for tomorrow, Maurice.
But I've got no objection whatsoever to "gay" people, I want to emphasise. Everybody should definitely just "be themselves", despite local man Marc Scanlon's disastrous first date with Rachel Loftus, where poor Marc tried that very "be yourself" approach (see story above!).
We're all different, aren't we, after all, so 'live and let live' - that's my motto!
Local man Marc with his blind date Rachel, their blind date
ruined after Marc decided to "just be himself"
Poor Marc!!!!! And poor Rachel !!!!!
But exactly why have I turned out to be "straight"? I've often wondered. It is slightly weird, isn't it.
And then today Lois and I were delighted to receive the latest helpful email from our American brother-in-law Steve, over there in Pennsylvania USA, with a possible explanation for my "straightness" from the Free Press website.
Apparently, the website is reporting today, how, over in Hungary, Viktor Orbán, the country's slightly crazy Prime Minister, has just banned meetings of the local Gay Pride pressure group.
(left) Hungary's slightly crazy Prime Minister, Viktor Orbán, calling for
anti-gay measures in the Hungarian Parliament, and (right) Hungary Gay Pride
with their suggestion of how Viktor might look if he too were gay. I wonder....!
Yes, it seems that on Monday, Hungary’s parliament passed a constitutional amendment that recognizes two sexes, and two sexes only, male and female. It also prohibits "the depiction or promotion" of homosexuality to minors under the age of 18.
snippet from today's Free Press website story about Hungary
But wait! As you can see above, the hard-working Free Press journalist who filed the story today, adds this mysterious "rider" to his report; "For what it’s worth, Viktor Orbán, I can tell you from experience that seeing gay people on TV doesn’t make you a homosexual. Only Britney Spears’ early discography can do that!"
Britney Spears with some of her early discography - did it threaten
to persuade a whole generation of young men into being gay?
Britney Spears whaaaaaaaat????? What's the connection here??? And if you know, do drop me a postcard. I don't know much about Britney's early discography, but this very fact - my ignorance of her early work - could that be the very reason why I've turned out 'straight' maybe?
I wonder.....!!!!
[This is all good stuff today so far, Colin! And much more thoughtful than your usual rubbish. Keep it up! - Ed]
20:00 Lois and I settle down on the couch to watch the latest re-run of the "Hairy Bikers".
Who knew?
Lois's reaction? To be frank, I think it's just a kind of relief that Yours Truly is "not into fishing", so I don't need to come after her with a pair of scissors every weekend, and I can see her point (!).
21:00 We go to bed on Michael Portillo's latest railway adventures by train, on either side of the English-Scottish border.
At Ulverston, Cumbria, Michael drops in at Swarthmore Hall, famed for being the birthplace of Quakerism.
Michael is impressed and afterwards he asks some of the local Quakers what they derive from these meetings.
Eventually it's time for Michael to leave Ulverston and continue his reailway adventures. But before he goes, he wonders if the group has a "Quaker blessing" that they can send him off with.
And this is the answer that Michael is happy to receive:
The Quakers say they often use the expression "walking cheerfully over the world", although Michael has to adapt this slightly, as he's actually be on a train.
Still, it's a good phrase, isn't it - to 'walk cheerfully over the world'.
And Lois asks me, at this point, whether this alleged 'fact' has ever been documented. I have to admit that I don't know, and it soon transpires from the programme that it's really based on anecdotal evidence only, but then anecdotes can often suggest truths that the science hasn't got round to proving or disproving, so let's not hurry to dismiss it (!).
So the jury's definitely still out on this one (!).
{That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]
Although by the 1650's England was very firmly a Protestant country, there was still a lot of religious ferment going on, together with the seemingly endless creation of more and more Protestant denominations, of which Quakerism was just one.
In the 1650's, Swarthmore Hall was the home of Judge Thomas Fell and his wife Margaret. Thomas was frequently away from home doing his "judging" around the county, and one weekend Margaret decided to invite famed Quaker preacher George Fox to preach at the local Anglican church, and she later became a Quaker herself. She even served time in prison for it - being a Quaker, or a member of other non-Anglican churches, was illegal until Parliament passed the Act of Toleration in 1689.
In his programme tonight, presenter Michael tries a mainly silent Quaker meeting at the hall: at Quaker meetings, participants speak only when the spirit moves them.
Is he ever not going somewhere on a train, Lois and I comment!
We can't do better than that, can we. So let's just do it, all of us!
Will this do?
[Oh just chug your way to bed, cheerfully or not, you two 'numpties' ! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!
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