Yes, Friends, have YOU got angry with YOUR computer at any point so far today - maybe MORE than once, may I venture to suggest!!!!
Well, here's some words of comfort for you. Today is apparently just "one of those days" when all the world's computers seem to have got fed up with the way they are being treated, and have all been "acting up". And there's like a billion stories about it in today's Onion News, if you want chapter and verse: and those "sampled" below are from just one page - page 94, which is mad!!!
my wife Lois and me - a recent picture
And if YOU don't know what a "dickover" is, or what "baggravation" or "botiquette" entail, perhaps YOU should take a look, and maybe "wise up" a little, along the way!!!!
And "Baggravation", for example, may happen to you at the supermarket, when you're trying to self-checkout, and the machine won't recognise a light purchase, or gets annoyed with a slightly overweight bakery item, or makes you call an assistant over if you're buying some Calpol for your child's pain relief, to check that you're suitable ancient (!).
(left) a supermarket shopper suffering from "baggravation" over a slightly overweight
bakery item, and (right) a computer-user suffering from acute "botiquette",
after being asked by his computer to buy something it's heard him talk about with friends
What a crazy world we live in !!!!
The plus side, however, that our English language is currently being enriched by a bunch of new expressive words, such as "dickover" and "baggravation" (see above!), and also other "doozies" such as "loginsanity", where your phone suggests a "strong password" which your laptop doesn't know about, leaving you to recall a string of ampersands and semi-colons, which is mad!
a typical sufferer from "loginsanity" (!)
All these new words are a kind of poetry in their own right, however, just waiting for a 21st century poet to bundle them up for us in a nice lyrical extravaganza, no doubt about that! And if you have time, why not write your own "ultra-modernist" poem and send it to me - postcards only!!!!
A hundred years ago, however, computers didn't really exist, and poets were forced to write about the beauty of nature and that kind of "malarkey", as Lois and I are reminded today when we make one of our rare public appearances this week, would you believe! And the occasions is that we're visiting the museum in nearby Petersfield, Hampshire, in the former old County Police Station and County Courthouse, to see a special exhibition of artworks by our soon-to-be-relative, local artist Flora Twirt, which is nice!
(left) we drive the 10 miles or so from Liphook to Petersfield, to drop in
at the local museum in the former County Police Station and County Courthouse,
which is nice!
Our visit to the museum today is occasioned by the fact that local artist Flora Twort (1893-1985), who's the subject of a special exhibition this summer at the Petersfield Museum. Flora is soon going to become a relative of ours by marriage, which is totally weird!
Flora apparently had a first cousin who was the great-grandfather of the young Anglo-American woman, Rosanna, who next month is going to be marrying the daughter of my sister Gill in Ipswich, a wedding which Lois and I are hoping to attend, all being well, so watch this space!!!
Lois and me visiting the special Flora Twort exhibition: (bottom right) Flora's
painting of Petersfield's lively market day in the square by Flora's cottage
two prints of Flora's work that we come away with, bought at the museum's souvenir-shop
Also, during our visit, we learn about Flora's friend and noted fellow-artist Stanley Spencer (1891-1959), who ("small world" time!) was invited to paint a bunch of murals on the walls of the little village hall in the village of Steep outside Petersfield, where Lois's church meets every Sunday, would you believe! Spencer drew some preliminary sketches for the job, apparently, and he may even have given them a "quote", but he never turned up to doing the actual paintings, which was a pity!
the village hall outside Petersfield, Hampshire, where
Lois's church holds its meetings every Sunday morning:
noted artist Stanley Spencer was commissioned to
paint a set of murals, but never turned up to do the job (!)
That's artists for you, though, isn't it - a little bit "away with the fairies" (!), and difficult to "pin down" when you want them to come and do a particular job on a particular day - very much like handymen, roof-repairers, gutter-cleaners etc etc, you name it haha!
Also at the museum today, Lois and I learn about the young poet Edward Thomas (1878-1917), who lived at Steep just outside Petersfield from 1906 to 1916, after which he decided to join the army in the midst of World War I, sadly dying the following year at the Battle of Arras in northern France. And Lois comes away with a book about Thomas, which she bought at the Edward Thomas centre adjoining Petersfield Museum.
Thomas famously became a great friend of American poet Robert Frost during his time in England before World War I, and each man was instrumental in the other man taking up poetry.
Their long country walks together in England inspired Frost to write his work "The Road Not Taken", which was apparently the poem which made Thomas eventually decide to join the British Army, taking him to France, and leading to his death in France in 1917.
(bottom left) Lois showcasing the book about poet Edward Thomas, and (bottom right)
the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Thomas's friend, American poet Robert Frost,
the poem which inspired Thomas to join the Army, but leading to his death in France in 1917
When Thomas eventually joined the Army, in 1916, he was assigned to the unit known as the "Artists Rifles", which sounds like a Woody Allen joke about the Army's "least feared unit" (!), but it was apparently an actual "thing", as the curator of the Edward Thomas Centre (he in the dark-blue sweatshirt and glasses in the picture above) explains to Lois and me this morning.
members of the Army's World War One "Artists Rifles"
The Army, in its wisdom, apparently created a special unit for all the artists and writers who had joined up. Special use was made of these creative men, exploiting their ability to "think outside the box", and harnessing their writing and observational skills, involving them in strategy think-tanks, as well as the sending back of battle reports etc etc. Others assigned to the unit included poet Wilfrid Owen, and playwright Noel Coward.
Who knew!!!!!
[I expect a lot of people knew that, Colin! - Ed]
All in all, it's a fascinating visit for us this morning, and Lois and I even find time afterwards to grab a quick brunch at Josie's Restaurant across the street, grabbing an iced coffee and an American breakfast each - scrambled egg, bacon, little potatoes, and pancakes with maple syrup. Yum yum, what's not to like!!!!
After our busy morning, Lois and I somehow find time for a quick brunch
across the street, at Josie's: 2 iced coffees and 2 American breakfasts - yum yum!
20:00 And there's more good news for Lois and me this evening, as we settle down on the couch to listen to an interesting BBC Radio 4 programme about crime stats. It's the first programme in a series of three, compiled and presented by BBC Home Affairs Editor Mark Easton.
And the good news is that both (1) violent crime and (2) crime against property have decreased by 80% over the last 30 years, despite what you read in the papers, which is a comfort!
The data this encouraging conclusions come from are based on the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW), which is similar to the National Crime Victimisation Survey in the US. It's a large-scale research study that asks large samples of the population directly about their experiences with crime, including unreported crime, in preference to using police statistics, which are notoriously unreliable.
The downward trend in these two major categories of crime - violence against the person, and thefts against property - is that both are down by around 80% over 30 years - the trend starting around 1995, and continuing ever since, although the reduction is now slowing.
You wouldn't know about this good news from the newspapers, however, or from social media websites, or from politicians interested in scaring us about "societal breakdown". Scary crime-stories and carefully selected "stats" sell newspapers, and get "clicks" on social media websites. Psychologists say that human beings have a "negativity bias", which may have worked in evolutionary terms in alerting our primitive ancestors to danger, improving survival rates.
However, many politicians play on our fears that "society is breaking down", when they must know that it actually isn't! In a recent survey, 56% of supporters of Nigel Farage's Reform Party "firmly believe" that crime figures are going up, compared to only 25% of Green Party supporters, for example.
What a crazy country we live in !!!!!
But exactly why has crime been going down? That'll be the subject of next week's programme in the series, although a "spoiler" at the end of tonight's edition suggests one factor to be, that we've been making it much much more difficult to steal things. So watch this space!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!
