Wednesday July 29th 2026 "Puzzled what to do is this searing heat-wave? The good old Met Office has the answer at last!"

Yes, Friends, after dithering for years about what advice to give out during the modern heat-waves, the good old Met Office has at last figured out something very practical, according to this morning's Onion News, which comes as something of a relief! 

Kudos, those guys! 

At last, some Met Office advice that's supremely practical, which makes a change! And reading the guidelines this afternoon in our copy of Onion News, here in semi-tropical Liphook, Hampshire brings a sweaty smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois - no question about that!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

We've even got some supplementary advice to offer the Met Office, if they're reading this, and certainly we all need advice when you look at the actual high temperature measured here in Liphook this afternoon - 93F (34C), would you believe!

What madness, isn't it!!!!

"But what's YOUR advice for local Brits, Colin?", I hear you cry!

Well, seeing as how you're obviously interested (!), Colin says, "Stay indoors, "hunker down" and don't do anything very much!" - advice which Lois and I ourselves are following to the letter today, that's for sure!

With a pedestal fan next to the sofa for the morning and evening, and one next to our bed for afternoon "statutory nap-time", we're fully "set up" for the day, no worries haha!!!

(left) our two most powerful pedestal fans, one at head-level for the sofa

and (right) at bed-level for the afternoons - what could be easier !!!!!

Simples, isn't it !!!

Call us "hot-headed hedonists" if you like, but only if you can say it without getting all "steamed up", as young people say nowadays haha!!!!

Well, Lois and I ARE retired, so I think we've earned our current life of leisure!

[I'd just like to see some hard evidence, anything in writing, to corroborate  your claims about your so-called 'earning process' Colin! - Ed]

However, just compare the life of our daughter Alison, just over the county line in Churt, Surrey - compare, and weep!!! Alison and her family are renting a house there, while their real home, a crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley, is being refurbished, although, thankfully, the refurbishment work is at last in its final stages. So, for them, it's all "busy busy busy", no doubt about that!

(above) our daughter Alison, with husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids,

seen on their recent holiday in Spain, and (below, left) their crumbling Victorian

mansion in Headley, Hampshire, with (below, right) their temporary rental

home just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, which Lois and I were "keeping an eye on"

"So, all well and good", you might say! 

However, the fact is that the increasingly frequent, regular meetings with the family's builders are becoming a constant irritant, to put it mildly! As if Ali and husband Edward haven't got enough to do, what with Edward's busy 'London lawyer' job, and the couple's 3 very active teenage kids to drive to this and that, plus two cats and two dogs and a bunch of tropical fish, with at least one of them needing to be driven to the vet's (the pets, not the kids!!!). But what madness, isn't it!!!

And what a week they've been having already, to judge from Alison's latest whatsapp text (extract)!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Thankfully, however, when night falls, Lois and I can recover some sanity, binge-watching more latest episodes in the long-running Canadian series "Schitt's Creek": the "riches-to-rags" story about a billionaire couple, Johnny and Moira Rose, who lose their fortune thanks to a crooked business associate, and are forced to rent 2 rooms in a seedy motel in the backwoods town of Schitt's Creek, with their useless grown up kids, David and Alexis.

the Roses - Johnny an ex-billionaire down on his luck, with

wife Moira and useless grown-up kids David and Alexis

Tonight's episode focuses on the romantic problems of the Rose family's two useless grown-up kids, David and Alexis. David's affair with co-worker Patrick is in deep trouble, and Alexis's fling with town vet Ted has also run aground after veterinarian Ted falls for one of his middle-aged "cat ladies", which is a pity!

In this scene, Alexis gets a "match" message from a new dating app, when she is in the bathroom of their motel room. And her brother David, who is still in bed, picks up her phone for her.

Yes, this particular dating app is called "Bumpkin", which sounds a bit random, but it turns out that, according to Alexis, there's a good reason for its somewhat quirky name !!!!

Alexis is impatient for David to hand over her phone, again for a good reason, because the app is saying that she "has a new match", which is exciting! For the moment, however, her brother David is hanging on to the phone, much to his sister's annoyance!

There's a problem, however, because Alexis's old beau, Ted, is also a vet, and it seems that Miguel, her new potential beau, being also a vet, is actually the only other vet in town, and Schitt's Creek is a painfully small town! Need I say more?  

Uh oh !!!

David, however, remains sceptical that somebody like Miguel would want to 'hook up' with a girl like his sister Alexis.

This is all very annoying to David, who's going through a painful break-up with his own current "squeeze", co-worker Patrick, and David wastes no time in underlining that fact to Alexis, and in no uncertain terms!

Oops, yes, don't leave out the "wink emoji" haha!

But poor David!!!!

Fascinating stuff, though, isn't it!

[If you say so! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Tuesday July 28th 2026 "Are YOU getting out of shape, with all these 'heat-waves' coming and going?"

Yes, Friends, are all these constant heat-waves, "punctuated" by other heat-waves, doing terrible things with YOUR fitness levels?

Even streakers are "feeling the heat", according to today's Onion News - no pun intended!!!

Poor Collier!!!!

Collier's story, however, brings a wry smile, today, to the bleary-eyed, early-morning faces of me and my wife Lois, here in half-dormant Liphook, Hampshire, no doubt about that!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

All the heatwaves have taken their toll on our fitness levels, no doubt about that, but today we've decided to do something about it, instead of just talking, having been shocked by local streaker Collier's recent poor performance headlined in the Onion News, and picked up as lead story, on an admittedly "slow news" day (!), by the BBC's early morning bulletins, no less!

Yes, Lois and I have decided, after a few weeks now of skulking indoors, to take a modest, 3000-step walk across the local "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes, Liphook United, (unlike Collier, fully clothed!!!), and, crucially, to do it before the temperatures climb too much - i.e. at around 9am, which will be a shock, particularly for Lois, who likes to linger in bed with a good book, and is seldom seen downstairs before ten, would you believe!

my wife Lois and me, walking over the "hallowed turf" of local soccer giants, 

Liphook United, although Lois's light jacket is already off by the time

we reach the club's "hallowed club house" - whatever next !!!!!

Yes, Lois has even put on a light jacket, seeing as how it's only 9 in the morning, but she has already dispensed with that by the time we reach Liphook United's "hallowed clubhouse" - although I caution her not to take anything else off, especially with all the kids around, doing their summer holiday football sessions, which is totally mad!

We're happy to take a modest walk this morning but tomorrow we'll definitely be skulking inside, given the weather forecast, which is calling for another "heat spike", with a top temperature of 87F (30.5C) - what madness, isn't it !!!!

What a crazy country we live in !!!!!

Even our daughter Alison, who is living temporarily in a rental home, just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, with lawyer-husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids, is "feeling the heat". However, here I'm talking about non-literal heat (!). 

Having just returned from their holiday  - with "Skorchio Tours", in Spain's Balearic Islands - the family has been disappointed to see that their builders' work on their proper home, a crumbling Victorian mansion in nearby Headley, hasn't made the progress they expected, which is a pity!

This bad news from the builders is all a bit deflating for the family, to put it mildly, seeing as how the builders had given them an expected 'job done' forecast for September. The job, originally promised to be a quick-ish 9-month job, has already 'ballooned' to almost twice that time - what madness, isn't it!

(above) our daughter Alison and family's crumbling Victorian mansion,

as it looked back in June, and (below) not much better - the way it's looking now,

with the builders' "finish date" looking more and more unlikely - what madness!!!

Oh dear!!!!!

Unfortunately the family have already been given notice to quit their temporary rental home in Churt, which has been sold by its Swedish owners, and this is all coming at the most inconvenient time, with middle kid Rosalind (18) set to start university this autumn. Should Lois and I offer to squeeze the family into our own very modest home in Liphook, just to "tide them over" during the crucial next few months? 

Your thoughts welcome - postcards only, as usual, but with a new limit of only 5 cards max per week haha!!!!! Think of our poor, overburdened Royal Mail postman!!!

one of our typical "bumper bundles" of mail following

one of my more controversial blog posts (!)

But you're probably mildly curious about what Lois and I are doing in our evenings, what with all this unaccustomed heat and all, and with nothing but all this sport and old repeated documentaries "on the box" !

[Mildly curious? I don't think I'd put it that strongly! - Ed]

Let me put my cards on the table at this point! Lois and I are not natural "binge-watchers", preferring as typical "old codgers", to be patient and wait a week before seeing the next episode of any series that we're "hooked on", as young people say nowadays (!). 

me and Lois - not natural "binge-watchers", would you believe (!)

We've made an exception, however, for the reruns on BBC iPlayer of episodes of the recent Canadian series "Schitt's Creek" - a riches-to-rags story about a wealthy middle-aged couple, fallen on hard times: ex-billionaire business-man Johnny Rose and his washed-up ex-daytime-soap star Moira, and their two useless grown-up kids Alexis and David. 

washed-up ex-billionaire family the Roses: mum and dad Moira and Johnny,

seen here with their useless, grown-up kids Alexis and David

After losing their fortune through a deal with crooked business associate, the Rose family has been forced to quit their billionaire mansion and rent 2 rooms in a seedy motel in the backwoods town of Schitt's Creek.

It's been a journey for the family, but a journey also for Lois and me, because today, I can (exclusively) reveal that Lois and I have already triumphantly advanced, thanks to some determined bingeing (!), to Series 4 Episode 5 of this mammoth 7-series show.

You remember Episode 5? You know, the episode in which a false news story appears on the internet about washed-up soap-star Moira, claiming that she's died, which comes as a bit of a bombshell, particularly to Moira herself (!).

First intimations that something strange is going on, come, when an anonymous bouquet of flowers appears on the doorstep of the Johnny and Moria Rose's motel room.

Yes, an experience like this can be disconcerting, can't it, and if YOU have ever been reported dead on the internet, you'll know what I mean, in spades!!!!

The couple at this point are mystified, however. And first indications of what has happened to cause bouquets from well-wishers, come from the couple's useless grown-up kids Alexis and David, who've been following the story of their mother's death on their phones, would you believe! 

In this scene, we see useless daughter Alexis and useless son David bursting into their parents' room, with Alexis initially expressing relief that the story is false.

I don't know - kids today, eh haha!!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!