Wednesday June 17th 2026 "Has soccer's World Cup started? Well, you wouldn't know it from the papers!!!"

Yes, Friends, you'll be forgiven for not even realising that soccer's prestigious "World Cup" even has started, across "the pond"! For some people, it's golf that's still trumping soccer, seemingly !!!

golf - an endlessly fascinating subject - for some people!!!!

And once again, today's papers are full of nothing but golf stories. Take this morning's Onion News for proof of that!!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!

Fortunately, however, today's Onion News, or "Golf Gazette" as my wife Lois and I call it (!), brings a welcome, but vapid smile, to our faces this afternoon, here at our home in semi-attractive Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly!

me and my wife Lois, pictured this afternoon on our sofa

And we're trying hard to disguise our amusement because, by complete coincidence, in this week's Radio Times, Susie Dent of the Oxford English Dictionary, no less, is at last explaining the origin of many of those puzzling 'golf' expressions which are all over the papers again today, as per usual (!).

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

Who knew? !!!!!

Well, who can blame Lois and me for having an easy day today, because we've just returned from a nice mini-break in the Oxford area, seeing our old friend Jen, and going to Lois's great niece Lauren's wedding to Eoine (pronounced Owen would you believe!). 

And now, despite feeling pleasantly exhausted after all the mayhem (!), we're having to adjust to our so-called 'normal life' again, stocking up with food and all that malarkey!!!! 

the scene in Liphook this morning, as Lois and I visit the local Sainsbury's

supermarket to 'stock up' on food, after our 4 day mini-break in Oxford

What madness, isn't it - but we've got to eat!!!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? Done a bit of food shopping, and looked at the Susie Dent column in the Radio Times? - Ed]

Well, no, absolutely not, seeing as how you're asking! 

You see, already, with our Oxford 'mini-break' now over, the next big event on mine and Lois's busy social calendar is already beginning to 'loom dangerously on the horizon', to put it mildly! 

Busy, busy, busy! In just under two weeks' time, and moving perilously closer all the time, is a 3 week visit from our daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, who'll be here on what we hope will be their annual visit to the UK. 

flashback to last July: Lois, with our daughter Sarah, plus Sarah's husband 

Francis, and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, on the banks of the Thames,

against a backdrop of 'the Mother of Parliaments' on the horizon

The family came here last July, partly funded by Sarah's so-called 'second job', would you believe!

Yes, Sarah 'Two Jobs', as we call her (!), is doing a full-time accountancy job in Perth, while  somehow finding time to simultaneously still do her old accountancy job in Evesham UK. What madness, isn't it !!!!

another flashback to July 2025: Lois and me on a River Thames

sight-seeing cruise, here passing London's tallest building,

the Shard, which appears to grow out of Lois's head - what madness!!!

Ironically, in that picture above, our River Thames sightseeing cruise is just passing the 'pointy' building known as the Shard apparently growing out of Lois's head - not for real, it's just a trick of the camera!, I must stress!

[You don't say! - Ed]

The Shard is the tallest building not just in the UK, but also in the whole of Western Europe, would you believe, at just over 1000 ft high, which is totally mad! In Europe, only buildings in crazy Russia are taller, which kind of makes sense!!!

And during Sarah and family's upcoming trip to the UK, they want to go up the Shard with us, and see the view from the top, after, first, us all going for a lunch cruise on the river. They've asked me to plan the day in London, which I'm struggling with, to be frank. Well, I'm not a travel agent, so haven't got the training, but I'm doing my best!

[My sympathies are with the family, Colin, if you're the one doing the so-called 'planning'! - Ed]

the view from the Shard, Western Europe's tallest building

The lunch cruise finishes at 1:30pm at the Tower of London pier, and then we've got just 45 minutes to get to the Shard at London Bridge, which sounds doable, but what if the lunch cruise overruns? It turns out that if you arrive late at the Shard, they won't let you 'catch up', even by running up the stairs, so essentially you've wasted your money - no refunds!!!!!

Reportedly, to get to the top of the Shard not using the lift, you have to climb 2907 steps. And during the building of the Shard, an urban fox called Romeo famously climbed to the top - perhaps because the lift was full (?). 

What a crazy country we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Friday June 12th to Tuesday June 16th "The news is all about weddings these days, isn't it!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU noticed how the news is increasingly dominated by wedding stories and 'splashes'? Take today's Onion News as a prime example, and I think you'll see what I mean!

Just look at these headlines, which are totally mad !!!

Certainly, these days it takes something like a family wedding in Oxford to tempt my wife Lois and me to "get off our backsides for once" (as friends have been putting it!) and drive 80 miles from our home in semi-lovely Liphook, Hampshire to go to the wedding, and, at the same time, spend a few days with our old friends Jen and son Daniel in picturesque Kennington, near the River Thames, just outside Oxford, to put it mildly!!!!!

The journey is a whole 80 miles, which is far more than Lois and I tend to travel these days, now that we're fully paid-up "old codgers" (!). 

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Our car isn't electric, but our own (personal) batteries quickly run out, and so, in order to break what most people would call this really rather insignificant 100-minute trip, needless to say, we say we have to "recharge our batteries" en route, with a slow lunch at wayside pub "The Tandem", no questions asked!!!!!

It's our equivalent of a personal EV charging station, if you'd like to put it that way, which we do !!!!!

an eighty-mile 'big trip' is a bit much for us these days, as fully paid-up

'old codgers', so we break the journey at a pub, to recharge 'our batteries'

We're greeted on arrival by our old friend Jen and son Daniel, who will be hosting us for the next 4 days, and it doesn't take long before Lois and I are falling into our usual bad habits on the sofa (!), with Lois reading a magazine, and me doing a crossword - well, we are both 80, you know, although we don't look it!!! 

[Let's take a vote on that one, Colin! - Ed]

(above) my wife Lois and me, quickly assuming our usual 'position' 

on our friend Jen's sofas, while (below) Jen and son Daniel set to work to

to feed us in the royal manner we've become accustomed to, here, which is nice!

Saturday June 13th

Next day dawns, the Saturday, the day of Lois's great-niece Lauren's wedding to beau Eoine (pronounced Owen - it's one of those weird Irish names (!)), with festivities starting at 3 pm in the garden behind Eoine's parents' lovely cottage in the village of Marsh Baldon. 

And, in the morning, to calm our 'pre-wedding guest nerves' (!), Jen takes us for a nice walk along the River Thames near her house, which is soothing.

to calm our nerves before this afternoon's wedding, our old friend Jen

takes Lois and me for a lovely walk along the River Thames near her house

15:00 The wedding begins - it's quite a big 'do', kind of Anglo-Irish, and groom Eoine's family are here in full force, although not quite as numerous as that of the lovely bride, Lois's great-niece Lauren.

For me personally there's some awkwardness at the beginning, when I discover that, by accident, I've chosen to wear the same colour suit as the groom - a light-to-lightish grey - but I think I get away with it! 

Judge for yourselves, however - and if you agree, let me know - postcards only, as usual!

I think, however, that, among the hundred or so guests, Lois and I certainly get the prize for the most stylish outfits, but again, you can judge that for yourselves - pictures cannot lie!!!!

Lauren and Eoine's story couldn't really be more touching. In their mid-teens back at high school, during science lessons, they were assigned adjacent desks completely by chance, and they just 'clicked' immediately and tried to sit next to each other in other classes too, from that day on. 

After graduating, they went their separate ways, and Lauren left the UK for a couple of years, to teach English at a provincial high school in Japan, and it was only by chance, on Lauren's return to the UK, that she and Eoine happened to bump into each other, both describing the feeling, when they met again, as one of 'coming home'.

This is where Lois and I have a lot of things in common with bride and groom, not just that 'coming home' feeling with each other, but also because I myself spent a student year in Japan 1970-1971, and while I was there, Lois came to stay with me for a couple of weeks. And Lauren and Eoine have agreed to visit us soon at our home in Liphook, to swap stories (and photos) of our respective times in Japan, compare 'souvenir chopsticks' and examine the other souvenir Japanese 'tat', that I've got in a drawer somewhere (!), and all that malarkey (!). 

Should be enormous fun haha !!!!

flashback to 1971: me and Lois in Japan, (top left) at Lake Kawaguchi

near Tokyo, (top right) halfway up Mt.Fuji, and (below) us in kimonos 

at our holiday villa, with Lois doing her version of the 'tea ceremony' (!)

Happy days !!!!!

Sunday June 14th

On the Sunday, we attend the Sunday Morning Meeting organised by Lois and Jen's church in Oxford, a meeting being held, not in their usual church building, because it's currently being renovated, but in a room they church has hired in a local community centre. 

The building is used for services by a number of different denominations, and, while Lois's church is fairly restrained and traditional when it comes to style of music and hymns etc, the church that meets on the floor immediately above is much more flamboyant, to put it mildly, and Jen says they often stamp their feet in time to the singing, and really 'put a lot into it'. Today, however, the worship going on upstairs proves to be relatively moderate, which is a relief!

(top left) Lois showcases a poster advertising the church meeting on the floor above,

and (top right, and below) Lois and Jen's church 'in session' 

with Jen's daughter Naomi (right) on violin 

Monday 15th June

Yes, already it's Monday, our last day here, but just time for another 90-minute walk with Jen along the Thames, which is nice! With the weekend over, Jen's son Daniel has gone into work today, at Oxford University's Bodleian Library. 

Jen and Daniel have really spoiled us during our visit, with lots of nice chat and lovely meals, not forgetting Dan's 9pm 'specials' - hot chocolate with a jam tart or chocolate biscuit.

Yum yum - what's not to like haha!!!

And that's the way you do it! 

So remember, next time you're invited to a wedding near Oxford, why not stay at your nearest friend's house? Not at Jen's, obviously, unless you happen to know her, of course - no casual callers, or 'on speccers', thank you very much, Jen has asked me to make clear !!!!!

(left) the photo that Jen's son Dan took of us three 'old codgers'

on our last evening, and (right) me starting to pack to go home tomorrow

Tuesday June 16th

We go home. And - uh - that's it!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Thursday June 11th 2026 "Blog 'paused' - and that's official!!!!"

Hello, just a quick note to say that my blog is 'paused' for a few days, while  Lois and I visit our old friend Jen in Oxford and go to Lois's great-niece Lauren's wedding to Eoin (pronounced Owen !!!) - and that's official !!! 

great-niece Lauren, with beau Eoin (pronounced Ian!!!!)

Back soon, and by Wednesday 17th at the latest, and that's a promise haha !!!!

Byeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

[You lazy swine, Colin! - Ed]

Wednesday June 10th 2026 "Do YOU know a woman who's fun-loving, but also 'nerdy' ???"

Yes, Friends, do you know a woman who's fun-loving, but also a bit of a 'nerd'? 

It's an unusual combination, isn't it, but luckily those hard-working 'journos' at the Onion News for East Hampshire have come up trumps as usual - Kudos!!! - and they've found someone in nearby Basingstoke who fits the bill, which is nice!

Kudos, that woman!  And this purely local story, I notice, got quickly picked up by the 'nationals' - the Times, Telegraph etc - and, on  an admittedly 'slow news' day, was actually the lead story on the BBC World Service's early morning bulletins, although, having said that, the item got relegated to an "and also, today, in Basingstoke, Hampshire" status by lunchtime, which was a pity!

The story, however, and its reference to QUOTE "me and Ashley at Hogwarts in Basingstoke' UNQUOTE brings the faintest glimmer of a smile, however, to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, just 'down the road' from where that woman lives, which is nice!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

We're laughing, because, by total coincidence, we know that Hogwarts, the school in JK Rowling's series of novels, the school where fictional boy hero Harry Potter goes to study magic, and also, indeed, Harry Potter themes in general, are going to dominate our day today, which is weird!

And it's all because our dear younger daughter Sarah (48), with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twin daughters Lily and Jessica, are flying here at the end of this month from their home in Perth, Western Australia, for a 3-week break. 

flashback to July 2025, and the family's last visit to the UK

The twins are "Harry Potter potty", to coin a phrase - they've read all the books several times, and seen all the films, and they're both 'gagging' to look round Harry Potter World theme park at the Warner Bros studios near Watford during their three weeks with us.

Let me put my cards on the table at this point! [I wish you wouldn't keep doing that, Colin! - Ed]

You see, Harry Potter isn't really my 'cup of tea'. I haven't read any of the books or seen any of the films, and I don't really understand what all the fuss is about. However, I was quite happy, initially, with the idea of letting Sarah and family go off in their rental car, battling the crazy M25 'beltway' around London and battling all the crowds at the actual Harry Potter World at the Warner Bros Studio etc etc, while Lois and I put our feet up at home, and go to bed in the afternoon and do all the things we do. 

Well, we're not exactly 12 any more. That ship sailed a long time ago, to put it mildly !!!!!

flashback to 1958: me (ringed) in my 1st year class photo at 

Manchester Grammar School, with our form teacher Mr Snooks

flashback to 1958 or thereabouts - Lois at the front door

of the family home in Cutteslowe Park, Oxford

Happy days!!!

That being said, Lois and I have been slowly coming round to the idea that it would be great to see our lovely twin granddaughters fulfilling their lifelong wish to see this theme park, and to experience something of 'Harry Potter Madness' for ourselves at first hand. Also Sarah rings us from her car on her way home from her office in Perth today, and she convinces us that 'it just wouldn't be the same without you, Mum and Dad', which we're very touched by. Awwwww!!!!!

So we take the plunge, and book the tickets for 4 adults and 2 kids - so watch this space!

What madness, isn't it !!!!

And this afternoon, the Harry Potter saga unexpectedly provides an element of light relief, while I'm suffering torment, with my mouth open for practically a whole hour, in the chair at our dental surgery, where both our Portuguese dentist Jose, and his dental nurse Debbie, seem to think it's okay (!) to get their plastic-gloved fingers into my mouth, just to carry out an awkward filling, right at the back on the left side of my mouth, would you believe!!! What madness (again) !!!!!

(left) our local dental surgery, with (centre) Portuguese dentist Jose, and nurse Debbie

Jose speaks perfect English, although with what he calls 'a kiwi twang', having spent years practising as a dentist in faraway New Zealand, before deciding to try his luck here, in New Zealand's old 'mother country'. 

However, a previous time I was at the surgery, I heard Jose ask an assistant to find him a pen, and she went away and came back empty-handed, thinking that he had asked her to find him a pin. 

And if YOU too are confused about the difference, just observe how this lady does it on TikTok - note the shape of her mouth when she's saying the two words: quite different in each case, isn't it, to put it mildly! Also notice the position of her eyebrows, which is a bit of a giveaway, to the initiated at least!

Or if you're still not getting through, try the international standard fall-back, for use only in dire emergencies, which is to always close your eyes when saying "pen" and to keep them open for "pin".

See? Simples!

See how our petty regional differences can be laughed away, even in a dental surgery, and gaps bridged [no pun intended!!!!] with just a little common sense and good will - simples, really, isn't it!

[That's enough nonsense! - Ed]

Thanks to my intervention, however, the awkward "pen-pin" impasse at the surgery, which could have turned ugly, was glossed over, or should I say "flossed over" (!) [No! - Ed], and passed off without incident or injury, either to staff or to patients, which was nice.

(left) some typical pens, and (right) some typical pins

But here's another coincidence for you. When I mention, with gestures, to Jose about the Harry Potter World tickets that Lois and I ordered online this morning, he reveals that his home town in Portugal was Oporto, where JK Rowling apparently spent a couple of years working as an English teacher, and it was in Oporto that she started trying to write her Harry Potter stories. Who knew?

And Jose tells me, as I sit in his dental chair with my mouth open but unable to respond (!), that even the uniforms of the prestigious Hogwarts School, where young Harry Potter went to study magic, were inspired by the capes and gowns worn by students at Oporto University, which JK Rowling had often observed during her time in the city.

Again, who knew!!!!! [I expect a lot of people knew that, Colin! - Ed]

(above) the dark academic capes and black suits worn by students at Oporto

and (below) the uniforms of Hogwarts students in JK Rowling's books

Having said that, once the talk about Harry Potter subsided and my dental treatment went on (and on, and on!) with me longing to hear the magic words that all dental patients are longing to hear - "All done!", I finally stagger out into the sunlight outside the surgery at 4pm, with half of my mouth feeling horribly numb, and with the horrifying prospect of "waiting three hours before eating or drinking anything warm" and "only eating on the right side of my mouth until tomorrow" - what madness (again) !!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

A pity, because the thing I want most in the world at this moment is a nice cup of tea!!!

Poor me!!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Tuesday June 9th 2026 "Do YOU get embarrassed by wedding photographers?"

Yes, Friends, do YOU ever get embarrassed by wedding photographers? They can be pretty annoying, can't they! And there's no better example than the story that's "all over" this morning's Onion News - just turn to page 94, and prepare to squirm !!!!!

What madness !!!!!

But the photographer's overfamiliarity is just one of the many annoyances you may have to face if you're so bold as to attend somebody's wedding - usually a friend's or a family member's, if that jogs your memory?!!!!!

Reading the Onion story this morning, however, brings a bit of a smile and a blush to the cheeks of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-crustaceous Liphook, Hampshire - no question about that!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

To tell the truth, this weekend, when we attend Lois's great-niece Lauren's wedding to beau Iain-with-the-extra-i, the photographer is likely to be the least of our worries, to put it mildly!!!!

Lois has noticed that Yours Truly's only pair of so-called 'dress shoes' is looking distinctly 'scuffed', as she puts it, and likely to bring shame on the family - well, excuse me!!!!!! But she's dead right, of course! Exactly why the shoes are looking 'scuffed' is a complete mystery, because I've only worn them a few times since I bought them in George Lewis's, in Bishop's Cleeve, Gloucestershire a mere 7 years ago.

What madness, isn't it !!!!!

(left) me today, showcasing my pair of so-called 'scuffed' 'dress shoes', and (right)

the iconic George Lewis footwear shop, where I bought the shoes 7 years ago,

 in faraway Bishop's Cleeve, Gloucestershire

Living in a semi-rural part of Hampshire, however, which we moved to in January 2025, means shopping for anything within a reasonable distance is incredibly problematic, and when I google "men's shoe shop near me", it only recommends David's Menswear, just over the county line in nearby Haslemere, Surrey, a shop which I've noticed in passing, and it's absolutely tiny - oh dear!!!!!

The manageress at David's, however, when Lois and I pop in there this morning, is a lovely South African matron - yes, another South African expat serving in a local shop: there are, like, billions of them round here!!! And although she's only got about three pairs of shoes broad enough in my size (10 and a half UK or what they call "45" in these metric-crazy times (!)), and they're not really 'dress shoes', I decide to go with them anyway, because she tells me that "Rock stars wear these to weddings", so fair enough!

I tell the woman that, despite appearances, I'm actually "younger than Mick Jagger", but as she says, that statement applies to most people, which I have to admit is true!!! Good point haha!!!!

(left) David's, a tiny menswear shop in nearby Haslemere, Surrey, and (right)

the shoes that the manageress persuades me to buy - "Rock stars wear them!", she says!!!!

I think about maybe also wearing my "mullet" wig to the wedding, the one that I wore for the Christmas do at Lois's workplace back in the 1990s, but Lois says no, and she's probably right: she's got more of a feel for "appropriateness" than I have, so I decide to give way on this one !!!!!!

flashback to the 1990's: Lois and me dressing up for one of her workplace Christmas do's,

me in my mullet wig, and her in her ra-ra dress, for an 80s-themed evening at a Cheltenham hotel

Happy days!!!!!

And my "mullet and ra-ra couple" idea comes to nothing, anyway, as regards this weekend's wedding. 

I remember eventually, that, after Lois's "ra-ra dress" developed some rips in embarrassing places, and turned into a "ha-ha dress", and my mullet finally "died" or, more accurately (!) had to be put down by a "veterinary" (only joking!), we went a bit mad, post-lockdown, and tried having a "shag" and (less extreme, perhaps!) experimenting with a Joan Jett-style "shullet", which is a cross between a mullet and a shag, in case you don't know. 

Sadly somehow, nothing like that has seemed to look right on us after that, which was a pity, to put it mildly!!!!

Otherwise, I have to report, it's a pretty quiet Tuesday for us today. Lois has her online 'sisters class' this morning, with fellow female church-members, and while she's busy with that, I amuse myself making minor improvements to what I call my "rainwater collection system", a rather grand title for what is really just a "Heath Robinson-style" series of butts and buckets I've arranged, just in order to collect as much of the wet stuff coming out of the sky as I can, to save on our water bills, would you believe!!! 

Call me impossibly 'tight', if you like haha!!!

(left) Lois, wearing her "meeting hat" taking part in a recent online "sisters' class" with 

fellow female church-members, and (right) me showcasing my "rainwater collection 

system" today - butts and buckets including our spare brown garden waste wheelie-bin

and our spare black recycling waste bin - what a madness it all is, I have to admit !!!!!

Also, today, I make more plans for the visit of our daughter Sarah, with husband Francis and 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, who'll be jetting in for a 3-week stay here from their home in Perth, Western Australia at the end of this month. 

flashback to July 2025 and the family's last visit to the UK: Lois with

our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and twins Lily and Jessica,

on the banks of the River Thames, London

We've discovered today, that, at the Harry Potter World at Watford, which the twins are desperate to visit, the daytime slots have all been taken by "Potter-potty" tourists, and the only slots available for July are at 6pm or later, which is totally mad!

And just look at the "potty" prices anyway! A "mere" £85.20 each for the twins, and even toddlers get charged £45 each, which is even madder or "pottier", if that's a word!!!  [Not really! - Ed].

Even the tickets for babies, which, admittedly, are free, are said to be 'sold out'. How can you 'sell out' something which is free? Answers on a postcard haha!!!! I suppose that the site-owners don't want to be overrun by mobs of "Potter-potty", free-loading babies, but, again, your views welcome!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!!