Thursday March 19th 2026 "Do YOU suffer from humble beginnings? Or humble 'middlings' even haha?!!!

Yes, Friends, have YOU been held back by your humble beginnings? Or by your humble middlings, even? Most of us have, haven't we. But don't give up hope! Look at this "splash" from this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire, and take heart!

Kudos, that man!!!!  But despite early teething troubles, Gilford, somehow, managed to get himself 'fertilised' or whatever, and the rest is history - and the good news is, that you can do it too!!!

Fertilisation - it's a funny thing, isn't it, because not just human embryos, but even plants need it too, would you believe! And they don't do it well enough by themselves, apparently, because it turns out that keen gardeners need to "top them up" with a massively heavy bag of this and that, so-called "compost" or whatever, which is totally mad! 

some typical "super-gardeners" welcoming the much-anticipated arrival

of a heavy bag of compost, sure to aid their efforts, which is nice!

And the value of compost is something that my super-gardening wife Lois knows only too well, and even Yours Truly knows it now after our morning's exhausting visit to the remote village of Rake's very own Garden Centre, a few miles from our semi-leafy hometown of Liphook, Hampshire, and, before I know it, I'm lugging big bags of compost about, and I don't know what else, to put it mildly!!!!

flashback to this morning - my wife Lois and I make a crazy visit

to a local garden centre to make "a few purchases" - what madness, isn't it!!!

Yes, and that's Yours Truly there pushing the increasingly heavy "trolley" around (see photos!!!) - what madness (again) !!!!

And the madness continues even after we get home to semi-leafy Liphook, when poor Lois has to get down, almost to her knees, to do some "fiddling about" with some plant/shrub or other, a weed or tow possibly, right there, just a couple of feet away, outside our front door, would you believe!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

It's a bit of a crazy day all round today, and even Yours Truly has a hectic time of it, watching Jason, our window-cleaner Jason, cleaning our windows with his long-distance pole, and then I'm selecting and ordering, my birthday gift from Lois for my "big" birthday next week - the big "Eight Oh", which is mad too! I'm going for gin again this year, and I'm going to try and make it last till my 81st next year, "if I'm spared", as Lois's dear dad Dennis used to say! It's my special favourite Wicked Wolf Gin from Exmoor, manufactured by a husband-and-wife team, the gin that we discovered long ago on one of our holidays in North Devon.

So, yes, busy busy busy, yet again! And, no peace for the wicked wolf haha!!!!

But first - here's the "gin gen", as I call it, "distilled" (no pun intended!!!) into some notes from those clever chaps at "Masters of Malt".

flashback (left) to 2018, when I buy my first bottle of Wicked Wolf Gin,

at the annual Lynton Food Fair in North Devon, and (right)

my obvious delight at receiving a second bottle, on Father's Day 2019

So, yes, today it's been "busy busy busy" all round, yet again, to put it mildly!!!

[You lazy so-and-so, Colin! - Ed]

20:00 Well, after all that "hard graft" today, you can't say that Lois and I haven't earned a relaxing evening on the couch tonight, watching a bit of "telly". Even "hard grafters" like us need to relax occasionally - there's bound to be another "hard day of it" tomorrow, so fair enough, we say !!!!!

And for our viewing choice tonight, we're focussing on the re-run of the third and final episode of Professor Robert Bartlett's fascinating series on The Normans, a busy people, very much like Lois and me!

Yes, it turns out that those busy Normans didn't just cross the English Channel and invade England back in 1066. They also somehow found the time to take part in the Crusades to free the Holy Land from those Moslems, would you believe! And, on their way to Palestine, they somehow managed to fit in the conquest of Southern Italy and Sicily, and found another Norman kingdom in those sunny climes. And not to mention, also, establishing an outpost in remote Antioch, in faraway Syria, which sounds totally mad, doesn't it! 

Nothing lasts for ever, however, and eventually the Normans lost all their conquered lands, and even, eventually, their homeland of Normandy in Northern France. Nevertheless, they didn't "bow out" of history without leaving a legacy that's with us to this day, so that's a comfort!

"For 300 years", says Professor Bartlett, "the Normans were among the most dynamic forces in Europe. They colonised countries, and created new states and kingdoms." They also became patrons of art and learning, Bartlett adds, rediscovering and bringing to light ancient documents of Greek mathematical and astronomical works, significantly furthering medieval European scientific research. And of course, the Normans also transformed the landscape with their magnificent castles and cathedrals, amongst other things!

Nothing lasts for ever, nonetheless. In England, the Norman dynasty was supplanted by the Plantagenets in 1154. And there was worse to come:

Poor Normans !!!!!

Also, Lois and I didn't know that, incredibly, a teenage girl called Anna was one of the first chroniclers of the Normans' many conquests in the Middle East. She was the daughter of Byzantine emperor Alexius (1081-1118), and her name was Anna Comnena. She's apparently the first female historian whose work has come down to us.

But even teenage historian Anna could be reduced to a pool of cold sweat by the occasional  hunky Norman invader, it appears, like muscle man Bohemond, for example!

(left) Byzantine teenage princess Anna Comnena (1083-1153), the first

 female historian whose works have come down to us, and (right) Bohemond, 

the "hunky" Norman invader who catches Anna's eye and conquers (!) her heart!

In this sequence from her memoirs ("The Alexiad"), Anna records her reaction to hunky Norman invader Bohemond, as follows:

Lois comments that Bohemond seems to have 'pulled' there, at least with young Anna! A gentler version of a 'Norman conquest' perhaps haha!

[All right, we get the idea, Colin! - Ed]

But apparently, Bohemond wasn't quite "every Byzantine teenage girl's dream", and Anna seems to have realised that fact, as Prof. Bartlett points out in this sequence:

Yes, always a bit of a "red flag" isn't it - a laugh like a snort of rage!

What a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off days!

But fascinating stuff, isn't it!

[That's enough Normans! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!

Wednesday March 17th 2026 "Are YOU "entering a new era" without being 100% sure of what you're getting into exactly?!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU suddenly conscious that you're entering a new era, without being 100% sure what that "new era" is?

If so, well take comfort - there's a lot of it about! Witness this typical report in today's local Onion News for East Hampshire!

And reading that story this morning, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, brings a bit of a "wonky" smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

You see, Lois is definitely entering a new era. She's very much in tune with the seasons, and she tells me that it'll be officially "springtime" later this week, and also that she's already stealing a "March" on it - no pun intended!!!! - by moving into some of her multiple springtime tasks, planning her gardening work and thinking about plans to process the fruits of her labours, all that kind of stuff!

Contrast Yours Truly, who avoids any "seasonal" duties pretty much, and who is only conscious of the changes of season when either Lois tells me about it, or I read about it in a magazine or on a website, or if I find I need to put one less, or one more, pullover on. I'm still routinely wearing three at the moment, would you believe! 

What madness, isn't it! 

a typical news story for the time of year - what madness!!!!

Tomorrow, Lois will be starting work on our tiny garden, possibly after a visit to Rake Garden Centre - once more, no pun intended!!! - Rake's just the name of the village, which is a bit mad too!

(left) the approximate position of Rake, which has been called 

"a village in the middle of nowhere", and (right) Rake Garden Centre

But today Lois's job is her marmalade-making, one of her interests that has a special appeal for me as I contemplate what to me is very much a "breakfast essential", which is nice! 

And later in the day, I count the number of 1 lb jars which Lois has produced - six, which should keep me going for at least a week haha!

flashback to this morning - Lois uses a traditional recipe to somehow

produce six one-pound jars of marmalade, just like that - what a woman!!!!

Yum yum!!!

And you can tell how successful that hand-written recipe has been over the years by the number of orange-coloured "splatters" that have been "splatted" on it through the decades - see picture above haha!

[Is that all you've done, today, Colin - watched Lois produce another six one-pound jars of marmalade? - Ed]

Well no, actually, seeing as how you're asking. I've got piles of reading to do, because my fortnightly copy of political magazine Private Eye, has "plopped" through our letterbox just this morning, and, as usual, I have to check on the never-ending lunacies of some of our "wonderful" national newspapers, which Private Eye documents so meticulously. Read ye these extracts here - read, and weep.

What a truly crazy world we do live in, no doubt about that.

And I don't think it's ever been "not crazy", to judge by this evening's re-run of a classic programme in  historian Simon Schama's series, "History of Britain", which tonight is covering the period 1087 to 1216, ending with King John being forced by his barons to sign the Magna Carta.

Henry II (1154-1189) will always be remembered as the founder, and first champion, of our English "common law" system, which is ironic, considering that Henry incited the murder of his own Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Becket. Henry's been called "the biggest of England's crowned criminals" - so felons in positions of power are nothing new, in other words!

At least, considering all the events of Henry's reign, our common law system is at least something to be thankful for.

Henry lived and reigned for another 20 years after the "murder in the cathedral" that he had incited, but by the time of his death, his legal framework for England had been firmly established.

It was left to the reign of Henry's son John (1199-1216) for legal curbs to be placed even on the king himself. This was when John's exasperated barons forced John to sign the Magna Carta document in 1215, a year before his death.

And it's fascinating tonight to hear presenter Simon Schama's take on the different personalities of the two kings, the charismatic Henry II and his edgy, vindictive son, John.

Sound familiar? The end result of John's "vindictiveness" was a good one, however - the Magna Carta document of 1215.

A generation before, Schama tells us, the barons couldn't have cared less, for example, about men being held in prison without charge, for unstated causes - that was just something that happened to commoners. 

But under John, bad things like being arrested and held without charge had happened to them, the barons, and they hadn't liked it! So suddenly they were all in favour of reform.

And when, in the following year (1216), King John died, fighting some French invaders in Norfolk, the barons rallied to John's 9-year-old son Henry, who had just been crowned Henry III in Gloucester Cathedral.

However, they "rallied" to him with a difference - because there was also now a multi-page 'contract' for the poor little lad to sign!

As Schama says, "the ramshackle conglomerate [of Henry II's dynasty and empire] had fallen apart almost as quickly as it had arisen... but something solid was left, something that's best measured not in masonry or mileage, but in magistrates!".

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

But what a crazy country they lived in, back in those far-off days!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!