Sunday April 19th 2026 "Do YOU like watching your garden birds, while not taking it to extremes?"

Yes, Friends, do YOU like watching your garden birds, but not take that to the extremes, like some of your crazy neighbours probably do?

Well, join the club! And there's a local man I'd like to introduce you to. His face is all over this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire, so you may already have the basics of his story, to put it mildly!!!

Poor Edgar!!!!

And even if you don't live in East Hampshire, like Edgar, you'll probably recognise his name, because, on an admittedly 'slow news day', Edgar's somewhat tetchy outburst was quickly picked up by 'the nationals', like the Times and Telegraph, and even led the BBC World Service led on the story its early bulletins, would you believe!

the scene most mornings at the studios of the BBC World Service, 

which led on Edgar's story today in its early bulletins

Fame at last, Edgar haha !!!!

Edgar's story even brought a rare smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, although that's a postscript the papers didn't pick up on, which is perhaps just as well !!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're laughing because, just today, at lunchtime, we've had another zoom video call with our daughter Sarah, who lives 9000 miles away from us in Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica.

And, by coincidence, Sarah and family had had just about enough of bird-watching at their home in Perth's northern suburbs, to put it mildly!!!! 

at lunchtime today, Lois and I have our usual Sunday "catch-up" video call

with our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and their 12-year old twins

Lois and I are anxious to hear the latest news about the vicious gangs of neighbourhood crows that have been 'making mincemeat' out of the shiny new turf that Francis started laying last summer. 

Although family members take turns to be 'lookout guy' and raise the alarm when the crows descend (literally!) on their lawn, the crows apparently have their own 'lookout guy' who alerts the others when there's an unexpected absence of 'guards'. They know when Francis takes a shower, for example, and they've become able to recognise the family car when it approaches the property after a routine family outing to the coast or wildlife park, perhaps.

flashback to last summer: the rightmost picture catches Francis

starting to lay his now-doomed turf - poor Francis !!!!

Francis says the crows have now acquired the skill of 'unrolling' a complete roll of turf, to make it easier to search for the weird antipodean beetles that they seem to find so delicious. 

I somewhat mischievously ask Francis if the crows at least 'stack' the rolls of turf after use, but he says no, which seems incredibly 'shabby' to put it mildly, although it elicits a laugh from the twins, which is nice!

our 12-year-old 'Australian' twin granddaughters, Lily and Jessica

Francis wants the twins to practise their Japanese on me. They recently began first year of grammar school in Perth's northern suburbs, and have made a start on this difficult language. 

'For my sins' (!), I studied for a degree in Japanese, like, a billion years ago - more probably! And midway through my course, I flew to Japan from London's Heathrow Airport, only my second time ever on a plane, and I spent a study year in Japan 1970-71, living with a Japanese family in Tokyo, and going to a college there.

flashback to 1970: (left) the photo I took at Anchorage, Alaska, en route to a study year 

in Japan, only the second time I'd ever been up in a plane, and and (right) 

my first venture into the complexities of Tokyo's suburban railway system (!)

This morning, I get the twins to do some practice conversations with me in Japanese, in various contexts: in a shop, on the public transport system, visiting the doctor - all the standard 'phrase book situations'.

So far the twins only know two expressions, hello and goodbye (konnichi wa and sayonara) so my conversations with them unavoidably lack real 'depth', to a certain extent, but it's a start! As Confucius said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step", so watch this space!

I like to try and make them laugh in my 'old codger' way, and they're amused when I tell them of 'the mystery of the missing communion wine', that Lois and I uncovered at her church's Sunday Morning Meeting earlier today.

It was Lois's turn to provide the bread for this morning's breaking-of-bread service, but on arrival at the village hall near Petersfield this morning, where services are held, she discovered in the kitchen that the bottles of communion wine had all disappeared, and had disappeared from a locked cupboard, which made it even more mysterious.

flashback to this morning: (left) the scene in the kitchen when Lois and Chief Elder

Richard's wife Glenys discover the mystery of the missing communion wine,

and (right) Lois and me waiting for the meeting to begin, with other church-members

including noted archaeologist Graham, friend of TV's Alice Roberts and Raksha Dave

Yes, 'The Missing Communion Wine'! 

Surely, a case for Sherlock Holmes, or some other 'master detective', no doubt about that! In the meantime, however, poor Glenys, wife of Chief Elder Richard, had to nip out to Waitrose to get another bottle before the meeting began. But what madness!!!!

There was happier news after the meeting, however, when church-member Ann reminded us about the group visit, in 10 days' time, to Milestones Museum at Basingstoke with its 'oldy-worldy' displays of Victorian streets and shops etc, and giving details of the yummy museum cafe lunch menu, which cheered everybody up, to put it mildly!!!

(above) the Milestones Museum at Basingstoke, with its 'oldy-worldy' 

displays of Victorian streets and shops etc, and (below) a typical

lunchtime menu at the museum's 'Rooftops' cafe

What's not to like haha!!

But for Lois and me, what a day! How did we ever find the time to go to work, back in the day!!!!

[You lazy so-and-so's, Colin! - Ed]

21:00 We need something relaxing to go to bed on tonight, that's for sure! And what better than a special edition of Antiques Roadshow, devoted particularly to 'royal' souvenirs, one of a raft of TV programmes this weekend to mark the centenary our late Queen Elizabeth II's birth, back in 1926.

Lois and I didn't know that the sculpture of the Queen by Arnold Machin, has turned out to be one of the most reproduced images ever, running into billions, because the Queen's head was used on 4p stamp, and other stamps,  in Canada and New Zealand, for example, and other Commonwealth countries around the world.

The early feedback from the Palace to Machine's suggested design wasn't favourable, however, as these two women involved in the project explain.

Oh dear! Could they get the Queen to pose for the portrait again? No, apparently - well, queens are busy people after all, a bit like Lois and me, or even more so possibly!!!!

There was also the problem of the little bit of the dress that would have shown from the dress that the Queen would have been wearing.

So, on this iconic stamp, these women's mother contributed the shoulders, and their grandmother provided the bit of old curtain that's draped around them.

What a crazy country we live in!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Saturday April 18th 2026 "Do people write YOU off, just because you're quote unquote 'QUIET' ???"

Yes, Friends, do YOU get underestimated because you're QUOTE UNQUOTE "quiet"? A lot of us do, don't we, like local marketing man  Kevin Bright, whose face was 'all over' this morning's local Onion News, for East Hampshire, to put it mildly!!!

And reading Kevin's 'hidden story' this morning, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, brings a knowing, sypathetic smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, no doubt about that!

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

You see, too often "written off" ourselves as 'that quiet couple at that house on the corner', we're also, like young Kevin in the Onion story, surprisingly untalented, not just at singer-songwriting, but at a veritable host of other skills, you may be surprised to hear!

Just call us 'multi-untalented' if you like haha!!!! Especially me - and it isn't anything new, believe me! I've been multi-untalented for literally decades - check out these pictures of me through the ages, if you want 'chapter and verse' !!!!

me through the decades: (left) me at a Japanese ski resort in the 1970's, and

(right) in the 1980's, at our house in the US, playing one of my early self-penned songs

In picture (A), I'm like, "Well I've got my ski-boots on, or whatever - what am I supposed to do NOW?" and in picture (B) you see me performing one of my early self-penned songs, when the glass in our patio door is captured in the moment of quietly shattering, in silent lack of appreciation  (!). 

What a crazy life I've led!!!!

And madcap and outrageous though Lois and I often are in public, this Saturday we're having a day off from 'roistering' and 'hell-raising', which is probably for the best! And yes, it's because we've got to 'mug up' on our Intermediate Latin, would you believe!!!!!

The pressure's on Lois and me today, because our Latin teacher, Joe, has recovered from his recent operation, and has fixed his next "Intermediate Latin for Local Old Codgers" class for Monday, so we've simply got to catch up with our long-postponed Latin homework. 

Well, at least it makes a not wholly unwelcome change of pace for Yours Truly and Lois, a.k.a. Mrs Yours Truly, after our weeks of uninhibited hell-raising, to put it mildly!

flashback to last year: (left) me and Lois making notes at one of local man Joe's

"Intermediate Latin for Local Old Codgers" classes, and (right) Joe himself,

seen here in happier times, before his operation, writing something on the white board

What madness !!!!!

Joe's given us and his other "old codger" class-members two pieces of Latin to look at before Monday's class: the first is a poem by Roman poet Ovid about the world's first ever beauty contest, "Miss Olympia", when a Trojan prince, poor sap Paris, found himself having to judge who was the fairest out of 3 goddesses: Venus, Athena and Juno.

In the following picture we see (left) poor Paris awarding points in the "beauty at short distance" category, to three Greek goddesses, seen here in the "no bathing costume" section of the contest, and (right) Roman poet Ovid's description of the event.

-

Good luck with that one, Paris - and remember to "make a swift exit" after the judging! Greek goddesses are notoriously bad losers to put it mildly!!!!

Trojan hero Paris (left) seen here awarding the Miss Olympia

prize to one of three Greek goddesses; let's hope he's got a plan to get out of

there alive, before the two 'losers' start to express their 'disappointment' !!!!

The second piece that Joe's given us is a speech made in 62BC by Roman orator Cicero in the Senate. Cicero was warning the senators of the dangers posed by Mark Antony, whom Cicero calls a dangerous and licentious monster, determined to destroy the Roman Republic and set up a dictatorship.  

Sound familiar haha ?!!!

Cicero (right) addressing the Roman Senate

And interestingly, Lois and I discover today, that there's nothing new about 'fake news'. Historians believe that many of Cicero's accusations against Mark Antony, made without evidence, were totally untrue. There's really nothing new under the sun, is there!!!!! 

Cicero in fact made a bit of a career out of character-assassination. The following picture of him shows him verbally tearing another opponent, Catiline, to pieces, claiming that Catiline wanted to set himself up as a dictator. 

But Lois and I notice in the picture that, while Cicero is busy 'sounding off' at the podium, one of the senators seems to have something better to do - he's taken off his toga, and is doing something or other to it. 

Is he shortening the hem, perhaps? Roman fashions were notoriously volatile from week to week, and like Britain in the 1960's with its miniskirts, when hemlines used to go up and down like a yoyo!

Whatever - but I definitely think we should be told, don't you - postcards only haha !

But what madness!

[That's enough Romans! - Ed]

21:00 After a day of reading about "fake news" and "would-be-dictators" in Roman times, it's nice this evening for Lois and me to "kick back" on the sofa, and "unwind" with today's take on that sort of stuff, with our own modern-day news, fake or otherwise (!), as we watch this week's edition of "Have I Got News For You", last night's comedy news quiz, hosted this week by BBC sports commentator Gabby Logan:

And tonight, this week's "name the odd one out" contest is particularly challenging: here we have the four candidates: (1) a theatre-goer at the 'Paddington' musical, (2) a fan of gherkins, (3) Scottish parliamentary candidate Ron Pownall, and (4) Donald Trump's cabinet.

And here's the answer: the first three pictures show people who've recently appeared in public in unusual outfits, whereas the fourth picture (bottom right) shows a group of men, Trump's Cabinet, all in their standard, regulation 'get-ups' (!). 

In picture #1 (top left) Superfan Tracey Taylor went to a performance of the musical dressed as Paddington Bear himself, and she was invited up on stage. In picture #2, we see a noted gherkin super-fan, revealing that fans of gherkins can now buy the new line of gherkin-themed jackets recently unveiled KFC, which is filled with real pickle and pickle brine. In picture #3, we see Scottish politician Ron Pownall, who's been conducting his entire campaign for election to the Scottish Parliament dressed as a gannet.

(left to right) Paddington Bear superfan Tracey Taylor, KFC's new gherkin jacket,

and Scottish Parliamentary candidate Ron Pownall, dressed as a gannet

What madness!!!!

The odd one out, therefore, is Trump's Cabinet, whose members always appear in public wearing identical shoes, it seems, the same ones that Trump himself wears.

One of tonight's team captains, Private Eye editor Ian Hislop, explains the background. He says that Trump has bought each of his cabinet-members a new pair of black shoes, which they are now required to wear for Cabinet meetings.

But why? 

Chairperson Gabby has the explanation.

Apparently the shoes Trump has bought for his Cabinet are his own personal favourite line of shoes, Forsheims, costing $145 a pair, and made in China.

Trump says these shoes "are very, very comfortable and look nice". And his Cabinet members have to wear them even if they're not the right size, which many of them very patently are not. Apparently Trump just guessed his colleagues' shoe sizes before handing them out.

And Trump's guesses on shoe size worked out particularly badly for Marco Rubio, we hear.

Team-member Michelle Wolf, the US comedienne, however, is tonight highly critical of the way Trump's cabinet members have so meekly accepted having to wear the shoes. She confesses that she personally is appalled, for example, that Rubio could be present at the upcoming US talks with Iran, sporting these ill-fitting shoes that Trump has ordered him to wear.

And what effect might Rubio's shoes have on the outcome of those talks with Iran? Here's Michelle again....

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!