Wednesday December 17th 2025 "Does YOUR 'home office' look like 'a bit of a tip' ????"

Yes, Friends, does YOUR "home office" look like "a bit of a tip", where a load of "tat" has been just "dumped" because there's nowhere else to put it all? I think we've all been there, haven't we, especially recently, as we're all fighting to "clear the decks", and make room for perhaps a ginormous 3 foot Christmas tree, as well as all the other somewhat dog-eared, so-called "decorations" in the non-home-office parts of our homes (!).

Am I right? Or am I right!!!

we struggle to declutter enough to accommodate

our "ginormous" 3 ft Christmas tree - what madness!

Even Santa is currently trying to offload some "tat", according to today's local Onion News for East Hampshire! It's all there in the paper's tiny tongue-in-cheek "Leave Time For A Smile" column, right there on page 94 !!!!

Poor Santa!!!!! 

But the story brought a bit of a ho-ho-ho into the bedtime banter of me and my wife Lois early this morning, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly!!!

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

And did you notice, also, that somebody - person or persons unknown, but perhaps one of Santa's disgruntled female relatives (!) - has today "leaked" the contents of Santa's current "naughty and nice lists" on Facebook. 

I can now exclusively reveal that, thankfully, Yours Truly has made the cut, which is nice [no pun intended!!!!!]. 

Somebody called "Kel" has decided to go public on the leaked lists this morning - did you see?

My wife Lois hasn't yet been assigned to either one of the lists, so the jury's still out on her, apparently. I've warned her to be on her best behaviour, and not to be naughty over the next few days, which she'll find difficult as it goes completely against her nature, as I know all too well "for my sins" haha!!!

Meanwhile, today, in our marriage, the so-called "battle of the home-offices" is hotting up, with me loading up my shiny-new IKEA "Baggebo" bookcase this morning with some important-look "box files" - all empty, with some meaningless descriptions on the labels, but don't tell anyone! That's our little secret(!). 

And by contrast, Lois's "home-office" [not shown] is beginning to look quite shabby - take my word for it!!!!

me this morning, showcasing "Baggebo Corner" in my shiny-new "home office" (!)

It's all rather eerily reminiscent of the "Battle of the Desks" on the "Vic Reeves' Big Night Out" topical TV show back in the 1990's, the battle between lead presenter Vic and his sidekick Bob Mortimer - do you remember that rather unedifying spectacle?

It was the night Bob tried to "upstage" lead presenter Vic by unveiling his own new, improved desk, which incorporated a flexible hose that almost connected with the pen stuck in his "desk onion"; and Bob also unveiled his own independent news service as well as some routine car maintenance options. 

You must remember!

Lead presenter Vic, whose desk famously featured his trademark "bag of cooked meat", was obviously nonplussed by Bob's surprise debut-ing of his desk-upgrades, and poor Vic didn't really have much of an answer, other than insults and mockery. Remember?!!!

Poor Vic !!!!!

I seem to remember that the dispute was "smoothed out" in the end, although Vic and Bob's partnership was never quite so close, or quite so "intuitive", after that, was it. Am I right? Or am I right !!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!

Anyway, Lois and I forget all our petty "home-office" rivalry this afternoon, and after a much-curtailed nap - just a "quick one" (!) -  at 3pm we take a walk over local football heroes Liphook United's "hallowed turf" before I deliver Lois to her stylist, Anna, at "Liphook Haircraft" for her 4 o'clock appointment, myself taking one of the "husband seats". 

And after that, we take a romantic stroll through the town's bustling (!) town-centre, viewing Liphook's iconic "Illuminations", before a romantic stumble back home over the Liphook United's home pitch, in the pitch-dark (no pun intended!!!). 

local footballing heroes Liphook United's 

charismatic manager, Ron Knee (59)

Liphook United (manager: Ron Knee) may be hanging on by their bootstraps (!) to a place in the relegation section of the East Hampshire Premier League, but their finances, as yet, don't yet run to installing floodlights, apparently, so we have to just "feel our way home" across the football field in complete darkness. 

What utter utter utter madness !!!!!

(above) we take a walk over the "hallowed turf" of local sporting heroes Liphook United,

before I deliver Lois to her stylist Anna, myself taking one of the "husband seats",

before the newly-coiffeured Lois and I take a romantic stroll through the town centre

admiring the town's "Illuminations", before stumbling home in the dark over a football field

It's something we haven't done since our "courting days" - stumbling across a field in total darkness, but, if you do it right, apparently it can be an opportunity to "calm wives down", according to another list, not from Santa this time, but from a leading wife, "@Ethereal229", on my today's Facebook feed, in which she gives her advice, for free, to husbands worldwide:

Lois has warned me not to "try anything like that" (!), and fair enough, no harm done, because it's generally me that needs the calming down (!), strangely!

me - a recent picture: I'm the one that generally needs calming down!!!

But how long do we husbands have to wait, before we get a "Four Ways to Calm Down Your Husband" list?

I wonder.....!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Tuesday December 16th 2025 "Do YOU make a total 'pig's ear' of it, when trying to pay for things in shops?"

Yes, Friends, do YOU often make a total 'pig's ear' of it when trying to pay for things in shops? I think we've all been there, haven't we! And yet to some people, it's the most natural thing in the world, isn't it, which is weird.

Take this local guy in this morning's paper - the local Onion News for East Hampshire. Like many people with special talents, he's a truly modest guy and has asked to remain anonymous, which is a nice touch!

Kudos, that guy! 

His talent may be just 'genetic' but it's also possible that he learned, early on in life, how to do it, as a young boy. 

And reading the guy's story this morning brought a nostalgic smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, as we get ready to go out and spend a lot of currency ourselves, as part of our run-up to Christmas, promising ourselves that we mustn't "muck it up" when the time comes to "pay up and look good", as Lois's old dad Dennis used to say!!!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

In the old days, kids used to learn to handle money the hard way. And Steve, our American brother-in-law reminds us in an email today, of his own experience as a kid of 14 or 15, having a paper round and getting paid in loose change by his customers, taking the coins to the bank, and exchanging them for notes, which he says, "beat picking up soda bottles and beer cans from the roadside".

Kudos, Steve! And Steve meticulously kept all the pennies he got that showed his birth year of 1949, and he's still got a ton of them. Donald Trump has now called on the US Treasury to stop minting pennies, because they cost 2 cents each to mint - what madness !!!!

The last pennies ever minted are now selling for millions of dollars, but is Steve's hoard of 1949 pennies going to be valuable too? Steve collected a large number of them, effectively taking them out of circulation, so arguably they could be pretty-to-mildly rare.

I wonder.....!

Just to be on the safe side, when I get Steve's email I check mine and Lois's own "coin display" on our living-room wall. We've got a 1946 farthing, from our own birth year, plus a 1919 farthing from my dear late mother's birth year, as well as some other special coins, but I fear they'll never be valuable - a pity!

highlights of our coin collection, including our birth-year 1946 farthing, and another 

from my dear late mother Hannah's 1919 birth year, plus an 1863 Victorian penny 

we dug up in the 1970's when  gardening, plus some silver dollars etc we bought

from the US Mint in Denver during our time in the States 1982-1985 etc etc

'Farthing' is an interesting word. [You don't say! - Ed]

The old Germanic suffix "-ing" meaning a part of something, to my knowledge, survives only in "farthing" (a fourth part of a penny) and in "riding", as in the county of Yorkshire, which is so big that they had to divide it into three "Ridings" or three "third parts".

What madness, wasn't it !!!!!

What a crazy language we speak !!!!

[That's enough old words! - Ed]

Well, Lois and I certainly spend a lot of money this morning, and you don't get much change out of a farthing these days, to put it mildly!!!! We drive to Grayshott and Haslemere, just over the county line in Surrey, putting in our Christmas meat order at butchers Kaighin and Daughter's, plus picking up a bunch of CookShop ready meals, and in the middle of it all, recharging our batteries with some "sinful" cakes and coffee at Hemingways, Haslemere.

our morning - putting in our Christmas meat order at the butcher's, getting a load

of CookShop ready meals, and in between times, gorging ourselves on some

"sinful" cake and coffee in Hemingway's coffee shop, Haslemere 

How we laughed! 

But well, we're only old once, aren't we, so why not enjoy ourselves, that's what we say haha !!!! 

And after a quick lunch at home, our afternoon is the standard "going to bed for statutory nap-time", before finally decorating our tiny 3-foot Christmas tree and putting it in the window to impress our neighbours; then, finally letting our favourite handyman William into the house to put together an IKEA Baggebo bookshelf to install in our so-called "office", intended to carry our so-called "office books and papers", would you believe! 

And the Baggebo is only £25, incredibly !!! What's not to like !!!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!   [That's enough madness! - Ed]

after finally getting out of bed, we finally decorate out tiny 3 foot Christmas tree,

and let in local handyman William to assemble our shiny new IKEA Baggebo bookcase

in our so-called "office" - check it out in the leftmost corner in the picture above

- only £25 !!!!!  What's not to like haha !!!!!!

So, all in all, a bit of a "mad" day (!).

[You're are a one, Colin! - Ed]

And I'm going to be having 'a ton of fun' tomorrow, deciding what to put in my shiny new bookcase, no doubt about that! 

[You old devil, Colin, you know how to get your kicks, that's for sure! - Ed]

21:00 Well,  at least it keeps us out of mischief! And this evening, we watch a crazy Sky TV documentary, The Salt Path, about another crazy ageing couple, Sally and Timothy Walker, who, famously, didn't keep out of mischief, to put it mildly (!). 

The Walkers put on assumed names, before writing a supposedly biographical account of their struggles, both against financial misfortune and treachery, having their house repossessed; and also husband Timothy struggle against his supposed degenerative condition, the debilitating symptoms of which the couple said they had managed to reverse, thanks to long-distance walking along England's South-West Coastal Path.

Their book, published by Penguins Books, topped the bestseller charts for months, selling more than 2 million copies, and Sally became a frequent guest on TV chat shows.

Eventually the book was exposed as total fiction by investigative journalist Chloe Hadjimatheou. 

The couple had not been targeted financially by friends, as the book claimed. Quite the revers - Sally Walker (a.k.a. author Raynor Winn) had in fact stolen money from her employer, and from elderly relatives, although this money was eventually repaid. And Timothy Walker (a.k.a. Timothy "Moth" Winn) wasn't suffering from the degenerative disease CBD (corticobasal degeneration) or from anything else particularly, come to that.

Here's Sally/Raynor, "puffing off" her book on national TV, the BBC's prestigious "One Show", chatting with the BBC's presenter, Roman Kemp, and with celebrated actor Timothy Spall.

Penguin Books didn't do much serious fact-checking before publishing the book, and presumably they were quite happy when the book topped the bestseller charts for all those months. And it isn't illegal, evidently, to tell factual lies in a book, and there are no penalties for it, as long as you don't libel anybody. 

The worst thing about the book, obviously, was that it encouraged genuine CBD sufferers to think that they could reverse their symptoms by exercise and a healthy life-style, which is totally untrue.

On reflection, I think Lois and I will keep to our current way-of-life, even though it's not all that glamorous, and we're obviously missing out on potential millions, like the Walkers (a.k.a. The Wynns), who are still keeping their millions, fraudulent or otherwise !!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Go to bed! Do it now! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Monday December 15th 2025 "This Christmas, take time to remember the hard-working men and women who make it all possible!!!"

Yes, Friends, this Christmas, take some time out to think of all the hard-working men (and women!) who've made your fun and merriment possible. It'll only take a couple of seconds haha!!

Guys like poor Alan Martin, whose face was "plastered" all over page 84 of today's local Onion News for East Hampshire! At least this week, he's been able to tell local reporters his heart-rending story in all its excruciating detail haha!

Poor Martin !!!!!!

And Martin's sob-story (!) brings a bit of a wry chuckle (somewhat ironically!!!!) to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire this morning, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

"Why's that, Colin?", I hear you cry !!!

Well, seeing as how you're obviously gagging to know, well, you see, today has been scheduled by Yours Truly and Lois (a.k.a. Mrs Yours Truly!) to be our first proper "getting ready for Christmas" day, which is exciting!

Even better, we've got no excuse not to go out today, because IKEA have scheduled a broad-to-very-broad "window" (7am to 7pm) in which to deliver one of their cheapest bookcases to us - the Baggebo: five foot three tall, just like Lois, and a bundle of fun (just like Lois!!!!). It's going to revolutionise our so-called "office" by allowing us at last to store all our books that we haven't yet found room for (!)

The "Baggebo" only costs £25!!!! 

Plus, we can plan to stay indoors all day today, so as not to miss the delivery, without feeling guilty!!! Plus, also, we can have a nice long time in bed this afternoon for "statutory nap-time", while keeping his-and-hers dressing-gowns ready to "pop on", if required!!!

What's not to like haha!!!!!

Today starts badly, however, when we realise we don't know where any of our Christmas decorations are, would you believe! Christmas 2024 was kind of cancelled for us, because we were leaving our former home in Malvern Worcestershire, and coming here to Liphook, Hampshire, on January 2nd/3rd 2025. So it wasn't worth putting a lot of decorations up, or even a Christmas tree, because we were packing away everything that moved (and didn't move!), including ourselves, almost haha !!!!!

flashback to January 2nd: Lois and I leave our former home in Malvern, Worcestershire

to move into our current home in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire

And when we arrived here in Liphook, our daughter Alison (49) and son-in-law Edward (49) let Lois and me relax while they helpfully put everything away. What madness, wasn't it!!!!

flashback to January 3rd: our daughter Alison and husband Edward 

helpfully unpack all our boxes and stash things away, which was nice 

at the time, but now we can't find anything, which is a pity !!!!

Eventually I find our Christmas tree and some decorations in the top shelf of one of our wardrobes, right at the back behind some boxes of junk, where our son-in-law Edward helpfully (!) decided to stash them - bless!!!! 

We've discovered in the last couple of weeks that we've moved into a neighbourhood where everybody competes to put on the most eye-catching Christmas displays, blow-up Santas, blow-up Mrs Santas, giant snowmen, reindeer, lots of flashing lights, you know the kind of thing. 

(above) two of the houses across the street, and (bottom left) our house and, 

next-door Sarah and Oli's house - note the contrast!!! and (bottom right) the view up the street, 

which includes , somewhat incongruously, some giant flashing dinosaurs: what madness!!!

Sometimes when Lois and I are in bed at night, it's like we're on the sea-front at Blackpool, being "illuminated", which can be a bit disconcerting, to put it mildly, although we're getting used to it (!).

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

At least now we've got our little Christmas tree, that we can string a few lights round and stick in our front window, so the neighbours don't think we're boycotting the celebrations, which would be a pity.

And here's our answer to our neighbours' sumptuous displays, would you believe:

I think Lois is going to be pleased when I eventually find the tree, today, in the back of the wardrobe, and bring it downstairs to put it in the window. But no!!!! She is disappointed (!), rightly I have to agree, saying, with some justification, that it looks a bit small and insignificant. 

It says  on its box, that it's 3ft tall, but it doesn't look even that, Lois says, and she gets a tape-measure out just to check it. I think the rather scraggy bit at the top makes it look shorter than it actually is, so I suggest to her that we could cover that bit up with a giant fairy, or something similar, maybe?

Your ideas welcome - postcards only please haha!!!

You may so that mine and Lois's answer to our neighbours is a little underwhelming, but we believe in "moderation in all things". And if you don't agree, just look at these shocking before-and-after tell-tale pictures from the front garden of some of our neighbours across the road.

Talk about the morning-after-the-night-before!!! And I think somebody, person or persons unknown (!), must have had a bit too much to drink last night!!!!

morning-after-the-night-before: the shocking scenes outside

the house of our neighbours across the street !

And it begs the question - do we all tend to overindulge a bit at Christmas time, and should we be displaying, perhaps, a bit more self-control?

I wonder..... !

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!!