Thursday April 23rd 2026 "Are YOU dissatisfied with YOUR doctor? Why not try one of the new ones currently being trialled !"

Yes, Friends, if YOU are dissatisfied with YOUR doctor, there's a new experimental 'strain' of NHS doctors who will be 'taking the strain' very soon - no pun intended!!!!!

Onion News has more.... 

Kudos there, Cosgrove!!!

And the story certainly brings a cheeky smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, here in partly-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure!!!

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

Unfortunately, it's another "medical" day for us after yesterday's little "COVID jab outing" (!), and today I've got an appointment with the nurse at our local surgery for my annual blood test. Whether she's one of the new-style 'placebo nurses' I'm unable to say definitively! After all, the whole point of them is that you can't tell the difference, isn't it: otherwise 'the spell would be broken', which would be mad!!!

(left) our local NHS surgery, and (right) a typical blood test 'malarkey' (!)

The nurse asks me which arm I want her to 'do', and, as always, I pick the left, as I'm right-handed. Call me a bit 'conventional' if you like haha!!!

Yesterday I got some COVID vaccine put into my left arm, and today I get some blood taken out of it, so I suspect that the weight of my arm won't have changed very significantly - something pushed in, something pulled out - what a malarkey !!!!

She only takes a bit of my blood, I think. I certainly don't feel any lighter when I leave. Not like poor old 1950's comedian Tony Hancock, when he volunteered to be a blood donor, and was famously shocked to hear from his doctor that they were going to take as much as a pint. 

What madness that was!!!! And what a load of rubbish poor Hancock had to put up with for his pains!!!

Actually, by coincidence, both Lois and I are still feeling a bit 'rubbish' today, so, after lunch, we get into bed for 'statutory nap-time', although we know it's going to be just a quickie today. Our daughter Alison, who lives just 10 miles away just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, is going to drop by at 2:30pm for a "catch-up", which will be nice!

Alison and family are still in their so-called 'temporary' rental home in Churt, while their own crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley is being refurbished - so ,more madness there!!! Their mansion should be ready to move back into in the autumn, but unfortunately the Swedish landlord of their temporary rental home is simultaneously trying to sell, so it's a 'toss-up' whether the family will be able to stay there till their proper house is finished and ready to move back into. 

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

(left) our daughter Alison, who drops in on us this afternoon, for a 'catch-up',

and (right) her family's crumbling Victorian mansion, still being renovated

the family's temporary rental home, now on the market for 'a snip' - but you'll

need a cool £1.1 million if you want to 'snap up' that 'snip' - what madness, isn't it!!!!

19:00 What a day for Lois and me - busy busy busy, yet again!

Luckily there's something restful to wind down to this evening, an episode from diminutive Scottish comedienne Susan Calman's 7th series of "Grand Days Out", on Channel 5, which is a relief, to put it mildly!!!!

Tonight, Susan's in Nottinghamshire, and she ends her travels in the county a few miles north of Nottingham, with a visit to Newstead Abbey, ancestral home of Victorian hell-raiser and poet, Lord Byron (1788-1824).

Not only did Byron have a 'large to XXL' 'gaff', he also had a large personality to match, no doubt about that!

Byron has been described as the world's first modern celebrity, one who marketed a 'romantic' image of himself, limping around moodily and wearing a cape. Dubbed 'mad, bad, and dangerous to know', he's believed also to be the first modern recipient of fan mail from his hordes of female admirers. Women all wanted a lock of his hair, we're told. 

And in order to keep himself "pale, slender and interesting", he consumed a lot of vinegar, thought at the time to be the best way to keep your weight down, would you believe!

And of course, Byron also found time to write a ton of 'tortured poetry', needless to say!

Susan herself, however, confesses that she personally has never been much into the tortured stuff. Her own wife has a different way of romancing her, she says.

So what's the 'takeaway' from Susan's touching confession? Susan spells it out for us, which is nice!

Kudos, Susan! 

But what a crazy life they led, in those far-off times!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday April 22nd 2026 "Those COVID jabs! Make you feel young again, don't they !!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU had YOUR spring COVID jab yet? It's a wonderful feeling afterwards, isn't it, and you feel at least, like, a billion years younger, more probably!!! Like this local man whose overweight body was literally "looming" all over this morning's Onion News - check out their popular "From the Archives" column on page 94 !!!!!

Poor Brady!!!!!

However, my wife Lois and I know exactly how Brady feels, reading his story here in partly-picturesque Liphook, Hampshire this morning, to put it mildly!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We have our annual spring COVID jab ourselves this morning, not at the doctor's surgery, but at the local pharmacy, which is much better - no queuing!!!!! 

What madness!! Although after the jab we both feel a bit rubbish. Eventually we decide to spend the afternoon in bed.

[You do that anyway, Colin, don't you - be honest!!! - Ed]

Lois and I stop by at the local pharmacy to get our spring COVID jabs

But getting our jabs at the pharmacy seems to be the way to go. So much better than those awful queues; the long lines of 'old codgers' and in the years before that, queuing up at the County Fire Station with all the other poor sods - what a madness it all was!!!

[That's enough madness!!!! - Ed]

flashback to the COVID jabs of yesteryear - what madness!!!!

It's a bit of a medical day all round today, which isn't my favourite kind of day, to put it mildly. I know I've got to take my annual blood test at the surgery early tomorrow morning, and they've also given me a urine test kit, although without any instructions. There are, like, a billion instructional clips on YouTube, more probably, but none of them seem to match the kit I've been given, which is weird.

What madness (again) !!!! So just before closing time, Lois and I drive round there to the surgery and ask for an instruction leaflet. However, when I get it home, I find that it's only helpful up to a point - just pictures, which is mad! Why can't they write more than a few words of description as well? Would it really strain their powers of imagination so very much?!!!

(above) flashback to last week, when I collect my mystery urine test kit from the surgery,

and (below) yesterday, when we got round to asking for an instruction leaflet

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

At least my appointment tomorrow for my blood test will be with a real live woman, and I can ask her questions if necessary, which will be nice!

But how long before it'll be robots who do all these things, and the UK's nurses will have been all laid off? Not so very far in the future, according to the second programme in artist Grayson Perry's fascinating new series on the AI revolution, to put it mildly!!!

Tonight, Perry is focusing on the tech billionaires and CEOs and what kind of people they are, and there's an interesting interview with some of his female staff and colleagues, and with tech world journalist Kara Swisher (crazy name, crazy gal !!!!!).

Grayson asks Swisher what she thinks of the current political shenanigans of the "tech bro's", Elon Musk and the like.

Perry asks her it it's really that cold-hearted, and Swisher says that's the only kind of heart they have.

Then Perry asks her what she thinks of the tech bros' protestations that they really care about the social impact of the products that they're rolling out now.

Do people like Musk really understand ordinary people, Perry asks, and Swisher has no doubts about the answer to this one!

"Most of them have private planes, " she says. "They go from the plane to the car, to the helicopter, to the compound. They don't interact with normal people, and so their lives become very... I call it a "cashmere prison' ", she adds. 

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Tuesday April 21st 2026 "Have YOU ever starred in a big money movie, and then regretted it? Well relax, you're in exalted company!!!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever starred in a big money movie, and later wished you hadn't bothered?!!!

It happened once recently, and to a famous actor, according to today's Onion News. Read on, and weep !!!!

Poor Brad !!!!! And poor Mary Louise !!!!!!

But, especially, poor Brad!!!!

And Brad's story in particular certainly brings a half-decent, or should I say "half-indecent" [No! - Ed] smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, to put it mildly!!!!!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

We know already that our day is going to be dominated by the humble spinach, and also the humble rhubarb, and the humble garden spices, and our efforts to keep them alive in our tiny back garden, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly!!!!

The weather has certainly let us down and let all keen gardeners down, with this year's unexpectedly dry spring, that's for sure. The big news here in East Hampshire is 'No rain till May 5th' , would you believe - what madness (again) !!!!!

Last spring it was wall-to-wall rain, and we hardly needed to get our sophisticated watering equipment out of the shed, which was nice! But now, this year, with its dry-to-dryish spring, we discover, to our dismay, that our faithful garden hose is in 'a bit of a state' and needs to be stretched out in the sun like some horrible 50 ft yellow snake. Not only that, but, this morning, we have to organise a 'human chain' of just the two of us, to 'ferry' water from the kitchen sink to our makeshift, so-called "water butt" (a disused, and de-commissioned, wheelie bin, would you believe !!!).

What madness, isn't it !!!!

our morning, described as 'horrendous' by experts (me and Lois!!!!)

- a garden hose dubbed 'too kinky' to be of use, and us having to work

our socks off organising a human chain of two to get water into our 

makeshift 'water butt' - what utter utter madness !!!!!!!

No wonder, that, after lunch, we decide to spend the afternoon in bed, for statutory 'nap time'. Well, wouldn't you, if you had the chance haha!!!!!

And this evening we get a reminder that it's all worthwhile 'growing our own', when we enjoy a nice bit of spinach with our minced beef and potato 'tea', spinach that was picked just an hour beforehand, and you can't get much fresher than that, can you!!! Yum yum!!!!

a typical meal of minced beef, potato and fresh spinach

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? An hour or so of so-called 'gardening' and then an afternoon in bed? - Ed]

Well, no, actually if you must know!!!! This evening, we somehow find it possible to fit in a hour or so's viewing of a gardening TV programme, to round off the day, before getting back into bed again (!). Busy, busy, busy!!!!!

And we discover, that while we were 'poncing about' in our tiny garden today, who knows what dramas, involving field mice, moles etc were going on there under our feet, all 'beneath the radar', as aged naturalist David Attenborough explains in his fascinating current series 'Secret Garden'.

One of the most secretive creatures in your garden is likely to be the field mouse. And when garden-owners Chris and Liz come in from the garden and shut the door at the end of their day, who knows what real-life secret dramas are already starting to play out in the garden outside!

For starters, who knew that field mice have to start looking for a mate when they're only 4 months old !!!!

What a life - just sex, sex, sex, and not much else, apart from eating, which is mad! 

And not only that, but also, field mice are the only mammals, apart from humans, who, when they go a-wandering 'on the pull', are careful to leave a trail of 'signposts' behind them, so they can find their way home again. They need to move quickly, because, at night, their arch enemies, the garden's owls, will be on the watch - and owls' hearing is 10 times as sensitive as ours - yikes!!! 

Luckily, however, the owls can't hear the male fieldmouse's ultrasonic 'love call' due to its frequency, which is a plus for the little female, no doubt about that!!!!

There's a good tip there, however, about 'leaving signposts so you can find your way back again'. I must start doing that myself when I'm wandering around our little house, arriving in some room and then wondering where I am, and why I wanted to be there (!). 

The fieldmice "going at it" isn't the only mating activity likely to be going on in your garden at night, however, and any male moles "on the pull" are probably also having problems, but of a different sort, we hear - oh dear!!!!

A little male mole can barely see past the end of its nose, but that nose smells 'in stereo', David Attenborough explains, and a male can pinpoint a female's burrow from afar.

"Gotcha!" - a male mole finally gets his paws on a female

The male mole's problem is that the female will almost always try to fight him off, and they're totally vicious. Female moles have unusually high levels of testosterone, which makes them highly aggressive.

Poor male mole !!!!!

Plus, moles leaving their molehills around will make a mess of your garden, that's for sure, but those little piles of earth are also perfect for planting with, as I expect you know.

gardener Liz uses soil from an ex-molehill for planting 

something or other in some pot

So that's all good !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!