Monday, 29 December 2025

December 28th 2025 "Isn't it fun, at your Airbnb to discover what other guests have left behind!!!!"

Yes, Friends, if you've never stayed in an Airbnb, you won't perhaps know that half the fun is falling over [perhaps literally!!!] things that previous guests have left behind, and which somehow have escaped being "hoovered up" or "sanitised" by the owners!!!! 

But when it happens, you never forget it, do you! It stays with you for life! 

Back of the net !!!!!

One lucky Airbnb guest was "all over" the middle pages of today's Onion News for East Hampshire - have you opened YOUR print edition yet, I wonder !!!!! If not there's a holiday treat in store for you on page 94, so pick it up off YOUR doormat - and no ifs, ans or buts!!! Do it NOW!!!!

Poor Roth !!!!

But Roth's "feel-good" story brings a cheeky smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois in bed this morning, here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, as the true extent of Roth's good fortune slowly begins to sink in with us!

my wife Lois and me - recent pictures

And it's a very timely story, because all over Hampshire, we're guessing that couples are "breaking out" their Christmas jigsaw puzzles, as the excitement over other gifts begins to wane, and tabletops are being cleared ready for the "official" start of Holiday Season Phase II - "Finding that Jigsaw Puzzle that we got given this year" (!), in our case a thoughtful Jane Austen-themed present from our dear elder daughter Alison. 

(left) my wife Lois showcases a handy guide to what the jigsaw will 
look like, when complete, and (right) the handy sheet introducing 
many of Austen's most unforgettable characters

It's all so very appropriate for mine and Lois's first ever Christmas in Hampshire. We moved into our house here, just down the road from Austen's little cottage(s), almost exactly a year ago - on January 3rd 2025. [You don't say! - Ed]

And, by as early as 4:30 pm this Sunday, would you believe, as you can see in the pictures above, Lois has already sorted out the pieces into three piles: the corners, the edges and the rest, so it'll be "full steam ahead" tomorrow, that's for sure. So watch this space !!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin - sorted out a jigsaw puzzle pieces into three piles? - Ed]

Well, seeing as you ask, "Absolutely not!!!". We've had quite a busy day, actually. This morning we drove to Lois's church for the Sunday Morning Meeting in a village hall outside Petersfield. The hall was freezing as usual - brrrr!!!! Luckily, as a precaution,  I had donned a third pullover to add to the two I already wear routinely (!), so that was all good !!!!

(left) a recent Sunday Morning Meeting of  Lois's church, with noted archaeologist member 
Grahame stooping to talk to church elder Richard's wife Glynis, and (right)
a frozen Yours Truly and wife Lois shivering in our coats, scarves, and multiple sweaters (!)

We sit by noted Hampshire archaeologist Grahame, who, as usual, has a sob story about his "rogue" tooth, which keeps falling out - he was in the dentist chair, yet again, just yesterday, the day after Boxing Day, as his dentist "shoved it back in again", as Grahame puts it. And he reminds us about how the BBC is still refusing to pay for his treatment, despite having paid for similar work inside the mouth of rival archaeologist, TV's Prof. Alice Roberts. 

Another sad case of BBC "ageism", we suspect! 

(left) flashback to August when noted archaeologist Grahame takes us and a group of 
other church-members around Calleva Atrebatum (Silchester), and (right) rival archaeologist 
TV's Prof Alice Roberts - see her lovely smile-to-camera, as she digs up a Roman villa at Kettering

Poor Grahame!!!!

18:00 Time for a lovely pork roast dinner followed by Christmas pudding with custard - yum yum! - and a look at this week's Antiques Roadshow.

We can't eat it on the dining-table in our kitchen-diner, however, which is now officially "jigsaw territory" (!), so, as an emergency measure, we set up our plastic round garden-table in the living-room, nonchalantly throwing an old tablecloth over it, as if it were the easiest thing in the world, having already checked the table rigorously for spiders and other wildlife (!).

"Exiled" from our kitchen-diner dining-table by the Jane Austen jigsaw,
we install a romantic ex-garden-table-for-two in the living-room corner,
sticking a tablecloth on it, as if it were the easiest thing in the world, 
having already checked it rigorously for spiders and other wildlife (!)

It's  another good example of mine and Lois's supreme "adaptability" - we're both old codgers, and we've seen something of life in our previous 79 years, would you believe (!), and we're ready as always to change our sitting positions when necessary, however deep-seated those positions may be - no pun intended !!!

We're a couple of self-confessed old "boomers", that's for sure, and we were both brought up fairly strictly by today's standards. 

flashback to the late 1940's: us in the "Ration Book Years" - (left) me with my little 
sister Kathy, and (right) Lois in the garden of her parents' "prefab" - the prefabricated 
housing extensively used as a quick solution to the housing shortage after World War II

Life may have been hard, but our upbringing in the 1940's and 1950's toughened us both up -  that's for sure! 

And in tonight's Antiques Roadshow, there's a nice example of those days, when presenter Fiona Bruce talks to the series' long-standing pottery expert John Sandon, who's been discharging that role for 40 years. 

Back in 1985, Sandon actually took over that job from his father Henry, who had been the show's pottery expert for the previous 6 years, starting in 1979. So it's been very much "a family affair", to put it mildly!




Tonight, Henry tells presenter Fiona Bruce how his father Henry prepared him for the role of pottery expert in the family's back garden in Worcester, digging up broken pieces of old pottery and sticking them together again, using whatever, in the 1960's, passed as the equivalent of today's "super-glue" (!).

Henry didn't however, limit this activity to the family's back-garden. He used to take young John for walks in Worcester city centre, and do the same things, or similar, there, would you believe.






Poor John!!!!

What madness !!!! And in a way, lowering young John into a hole dug by workmen is perhaps uncomfortably reminiscent of Victorian days when they used to send small boys up chimneys to clean away the accumulated layers of soot (!).

And there's a deeper question here, isn't there. Should we expect small boys to do jobs we're not prepared to do ourselves?

I wonder....!

Still life was hard back then in the 1960's, and those early experiences obviously had an enduring influence on young John, and made him the tough, no-nonsense antique-pottery-expert he is today, which is a worthwhile outcome, to put it mildly!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!

Sunday, 28 December 2025

December 27th 2025 "Were YOUR favourite doughnuts missing last time you were in a 'Greggs Local' ???"

 Yes, Friends, think back to the last time you were in a 'Greggs Local' near you. Were you unable to spot your "faves"?

It's been happening to Yours Truly a lot recently, but here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, this morning my wife Lois and I are pleased to see a hard-hitting analysis of the causes, drawn up by hardworking 'journos' from the local East Hampshire Onion News - so we're getting some answers at last, and not before time!!!!


Surprisingly simple isn't it, when it's looked at by some 'cool heads' - and our much-criticised "powers that be" can surely sort something out if they can only get those 'cool heads' together on this one, do you think? After the Christmas/New Year break, maybe? How about it, Sir Keir haha !!!!

And the so-called "Factor 4" (Captain Henry "Three-Finger" Hare) in what the press is calling "the doughnut crisis" (see above) elicits a particular grin on the faces of Lois and me this morning, as we take our daily walk, which today brings us over Hindhead Common, once a notorious haunt of Highwaymen preying on travellers between London and Royal Naval HQ just down the road in Portsmouth, Hampshire, to put it mildly!!!


We don't meet any highwaymen today, which is a comfort! The sun is shining but there's a particularly cold north-easterly blowing over the common this morning. The birds are singing, but the chorus we hear is relatively "heavy on the tits", as Lois puts it!

a lovely sunny day today for our walk, which today takes us over Hindhead Common,
just over the county line in Surrey: the birds are singing, but it's all a bit tit-heavy (!)

Brrrrr!!!! When we've had our walk, we drop in at the Punchbowl Cafe, but it's predictably "heaving" this holiday morning, crammed with frozen dog-walkers trying to warm up, so instead, we go down the street a hundred yards to seek refuge in the Twenty 5 Cafe, which we haven't patronised before, for a couple of medium-to-large decaf americanos and some naughty pastries - yum yum!

As we slowly "thaw out" (!) at a corner table, we read some of the amusing "meat-and-drink" quotes on the gaily-decorated wall behind our table, which is nice. Then after that, it's back home to Liphook, for a lovely lunch of "Christmas leftovers" followed by a lovely long afternoon in bed, so that's all good!!!!

after our walk, we escape the chilly north-easterly winds, dropping into the nearby
"Twenty 5 Cafe", where we "thaw out" over a cup of coffee and a pastry or two,
chuckling over some of the amusing "meat-and-drink" related quotes on the wall behind us

"Deja-brew" - in the sense of "remembering the things you did after wine" is a new one on us, but this evening as we watch veteran actress Judi Dench telling us about her boozy actor-forebears and what they got up to, Lois and I can't help thinking there must have been many a "deja-brew" moment on "mornings after the night before", to put it mildly (!).


Judi, who grew up in a Shakespeare-obsessed family, and who played Ophelia on the London stage after she'd only just graduated from Drama School, is trying to find out, in this documentary, whether her direct ancestor, Danish nobleman Anders Bille actually met Shakespeare when he came to England in 1606 with the Danish king, Christian IV, to visit James I.









The Danish king's visit to England took several months: the two rulers were trying to build a northern European Protestant coalition to counter the perceived threat coming from menace of Europe's majority Catholic countries to the south. In tonight's programme, it's judged "extremely likely" that Judi's Danish ancestor did meet Shakespeare, because the two men were both present at Hampton Court Palace during a performance of the acting troupe "The King's Men", of whom Shakespeare was a member.


We hear a lot tonight also about James I and Christian IV's six months or so together, which mainly involved a lot of heavy drinking and all the saucy "masques" staged privately for the two kings and their entourages in James I's many palaces, and all the accompanying "hanky-panky" that went on between the kings and their entourages and the women involved in the masques. It's notable that women weren't allowed to act on the public stage at this time, but there were plenty of women acting in the King's private masques, often appearing topless and engaging in all sorts of "hanky-panky" with their illustrious audiences, would you believe! 

Danish actor Lars Mikkelsen has a theory about it:







What a crazy world they lived in, in those far-off times !!!!

Chronicler Sir John Harington said that the nobles of the two courts "wallowed in beastly delights", while the ladies of the courts "abandoned their sobriety" and were "seen to roll about in intoxication".

During a performance of the most popular "masque", which was intended to portray the arrival of the Queen of Sheba at the court of King Solomon, the Queen made her entrance completely topless, while the court ladies playing the symbolic female parts of Faith, Hope, Charity, Victory and Peace, were falling over themselves and too drunk to be capable of performing. 


"Hope" was too drunk to speak her lines, and had to leave the room briefly, and on her return she and "Faith" were "sick and spewing in the lower hall". "Victory" had to be carried out and "laid to sleep on the steps of an anti-chamber". 

"Peace" made her entrance, and tried to "cosy  up" to the King. And when attendants tried to pull her away, she set about them with her olive-branch, striking them on their heads with the branch, the very symbol of peace. King Christian tried to have sex with the Countess of Nottingham, Margaret Howard, and when her husband tried to intervene, he gestured at him crudely, "making the horns".

"Making the horns" - a 17th century rude gesture, used by the Countess of Nottingham
 when her husband tried to stop her having sex with King Christian of Denmark.

What utter utter madness !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!

Saturday, 27 December 2025

December 26th 2025 "Do you get scared when your pilot's voice suddenly sounds like he's petrified !!!!!! "

Yes, Friends, does YOUR heart "skip a beat" when your pilot comes on the intercom to declare a so-called "flight emergency", especially if he's speaking in a weird kind of voice? 

It's a common reaction isn't it, particularly if the pilot sounds like he's a lunatic, which CAN happen - like on this recent Easyjet flight out of Luton, as reported this morning in the local Onion News for East Hampshire. Did you notice,  or were you too "hung-over" to care, due to a touch of post-Christmas overindulgence perhaps haha ?!!!!


Kudos Langard!!!! And nice to know that, totally crazy as he undoubtedly is, he always keeps the safety of his Easyjet sun-seeking passengers as his top priority, which is comforting!

This morning, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, as my wife Lois and I "trudge" our way over local nature reserve Old Man Lowsley's Farm for our Boxing Day walk, the Onion News story brings a faint whiff of a smile to our normally stoic faces, which is nice!


And our merriment is only increased, when we see that some "joker", who perhaps had had a bit too much to drink last night, and wound up a little inebriated (!), has hung a shiny red bauble on one of the nature reserve's budding new fir trees, which is a nice touch !!!!

a shiny red-nosed Yours Truly (right-facing arrow) showing mild amusement, as we discover 
that some local "joker" (!) has hung a shiny red Christmas bauble (left-facing arrow) 
on one of the nature reserve's budding new fir trees, which is a nice festive touch!!!!

How we laugh !!!!!

And who says now that the local East Hampshire "country bumpkins", generally found in large numbers in these here parts, haven't got a sense of humour - because these pictures certainly "give the lie" to those vicious rumours, probably started by all those hoity-toity stockbrokers over the county line in nearby Surrey, I shouldn't wonder !!!! 

But let's return for a moment to that shark in this morning's papers!


flashback to this morning and those alarming headlines

Sharks are certainly in the talking-point here in East Hampshire with that Onion News flight-rerouting story on everybody's lips today, but in Australia, sharks are a bit more than "clouds in their [complimentary] [in-flight] coffees" - no pun intended !!!!


And, by coincidence, our daughter Sarah, who lives 9000 miles away in Perth, Western Australia with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, goes on social media today to hint of the dangers from sharks experienced by body-boarders and others, in that crazy, faraway land!


Yikes !!!!

flashback to July: Lois with our daughter Sarah and family, in London 
on their last trip to the "old country"

Thankfully, on Sarah and family's London trip, there were no reports of sharks in the Thames, although this hasn't always been the case. Remember those Onion News headlines from 2021, and their memorable "voxpop" comments from "industry insiders"?


And Lois and I,  on our Boxing Day walk this morning here in East Hampshire, decide, just to be on the safe side, to check out Lowsley's Farm's "mini-reservoirs" for Spurdogs and other sharks. Call us "risk-averse", if you like haha!!!


Later, we declare the mini-reservoirs to be totally shark-free, as we can now exclusively reveal - remember you read it here first, in my blog haha!!! The hideous creature in the left-hand photo is just Yours Truly, and the apparent "monster" rearing its head out of the water in the right-hand photo was found to be just a log, so panic over (!!!).

15:30 Well, today is Boxing Day, so Lois and I have got a shark-sized "monster" of a problem [no pun intended!!!!] [Why did you say it then?! - Ed] with excessive Christmas Day left-over foods, but luckily our other daughter Alison, drops by to help us eat up some of the worst of it (!), together with husband Edward and two of their 3 teenage kids Rosalind (17) and Isaac (15). Their eldest, Josie (19) is busy this afternoon revising for her exams next term at Durham University. Lois and I also get to play a few festive board games with them, which is nice!


Excitement is in the air, because, on Sunday, Alison and family will be leaving for a week's skiing holiday in Sweden, flying by Norwegian Airlines from London's Gatwick Airport to Trondheim in northern Norway, and then getting a 2-hour taxi ride if you please (!) over the border to the Swedish ski resort of Ã…re, arriving at 2 o'clock in the morning, if you please !!!!

What utter utter utter madness !!!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]



Nostalgic for Lois and me, however, because in the bottom left-hand corner of the above map can be seen the little town of Ã…ndelsnes, Norway, where we spent our 2-week honeymoon, back in 1972, so "only" 53 years ago, would you believe !!!!!


Happy times - and, a crucial element of this, was a total absence of sharks, which was a bonus !!!!

flashback to 1972: me sitting on a bank by a Norwegian fjord
- no sharks here, either, which was a relief !!!!

We go to bed on tonight's Boxing Day festive edition of our favourite TV quiz, Only Connect, presented by Victoria Coren-Mitchell, the quiz which tests lateral thinking.

Can YOU work out the connection between these 4 seemingly unrelated "things"?


I think you've probably got the answer already, haven't you, unless I'm very much mistaken! 

Yes, they're all people who get publicly weighed, of course!

And if you hadn't heard about the mayors of High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, well, since way back in the 17th century, town mayors have been weighed immediately after their election, and then weighed again a year later, to check that they haven't been growing fat on taxpayers' money.

Since the 17th century, mayors of High Wycombe Buckinghamshire
have been weighed, first on their election, and then a year later,
to check that they haven't been getting fat at taxpayers' expense

Great idea, isn't it!

And it begs a more important question, doesn't it. Should the measure be made a matter of routine worldwide, in view of all the national leaders currently "making the world safe for plutocracy", and getting rich themselves, no names, no pack-drill!!!!

I wonder.....!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!