Sunday July 26th 2026 "That new 'The Odyssey' film - what a 'humdinger', as young people say nowadays!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU seen the new 'epic' blockbuster from budding 55-year-old "young whippersnapper" director Christopher Nolan yet?

If not, did you maybe miss the recent sizzling preview in Onion News, hidden away a little too much methinks, back at page 94? If so, here's a helpful reminder of the main points, for your reading convenience!!!

Sounds veritably "epic", doesn't it - no pun intended!!!!

But reading the Onion's "taster" a couple of weeks ago brought an all-too-familiar smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in lovely Liphook, Hampshire - not a shred of doubt about that!!!!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

"But why the sudden interest in modern movie-making, Colin?", I hear you cry!

Well, you see, Nolan's brand-new masterpiece is showing this week at our local Living Room Cinema, here in Liphook, but Lois won't let me book tickets for one of the cinema's "old codger matinees", because she says I always fall asleep within minutes of the opening credits, especially if we've managed to nab one of the "old codger and courting couple sofas" that they keep at the back, which I always make a bee-line for - well, you know me haha!!!!

(left) Liphook's iconic "The Living Room Cinema" and (right) the inviting

"old codger" sofas that they keep at the back of the theatre - oooh! cumFEEEE !!!!

Lois and I probably won't be seeing the film this week, but our daughter Alison, husband Edward and at least two of their three teenage kids, who live in nearby Churt, Surrey, have seen "The Odyssey" today, Sunday, would you believe, as part of festivities for their son Isaac's 16th birthday today! 

And afterwards they drop by at mine and Lois's house at tea-time, to give us their "take" on Nolan's film, which is nice!

(left) a welcome visit from our daughter Alison and family, and (right) the scene

in our living-room as they give us their "take" on "The Odyssey" - (left to right)

our son-in-law Edward, Rosalind, our daughter Alison, and birthday-boy Isaac 

They give the film a cautious "seal of approval" - they're all enthralled about it, with the possible exception of our daughter Alison, who reportedly winced during some of the scenes where either Odysseus and/or his fellow Ancient Greek voyaging-companions were getting chopped up, cooked, and/or eaten "al dente" by monsters, as I expect you can imagine!

What madness!!!!

But it gives me an idea for a possible modern-day version, with a now-retired Odysseus watching a matinee of his adventures with  favourite "squeeze" Circe the Witch, and being swallowed by one of the cinema's seductively comfy sofas. 

What do you think - is it a 'goer', as young people say today?

possible scenes from a new film, maybe titled "Watching the Odyssey", in which

comfy cinema sofas are swallowing up old codgers and courting couples alike

- yikes, scary !!!!!

I wonder.....!

But the main thing today is to celebrate young Isaac's birthday. Lois and I are "gifting" him a harmonica, which he's determined to master for performances with his boy-girl group New Horizon. Isaac is normally just on vocals, but he's anxious to follow in the footsteps of his idol, singer Billy Joel, by doing some harmonica-inserts during his singing, which will be nice!

(left) Isaac opening up the recent Haslemere Fringe Festival on the big stage,

and (right) Isaac's idol, Billy "Piano Man" Joel at the Wembley Arena

And, now 16, Isaac's got to apply for a new passport, which will stay valid for 10 years, and which he'll need for his upcoming school trip to China in October, with fellow classmates also studying Mandarin Chinese. 

Isaac tells us today that he can't even imagine being 26, which, to him, seems incredibly old (!).

Awww - bless haha!!!!!

flashback to 2024: Isaac's first visit to China with schoolmates: (left) Isaac

to be seen bottom-right, half out of shot, on the school bus-ride to

London's Heathrow Airport, and (right) arriving at their destination in China

And meanwhile, 9000 miles away, in Perth, Australia, our other daughter Sarah's twin daughters Lily and Jessica  are also celebrating their birthday, both 13 today, and so becoming proper 'teenagers'. 

Lois and I talk to them, too, today, through the wonders of the internet and 'whatsapp' - pictures to follow!

our daughter Sarah, with twins Lily and Jessica, seen here having a snack

with Lois on me in Liphook's village centre on their recent visit to the UK

It's all a lovely reminder to Lois and me of that great day in our lives, July 26th 2013, when Isaac was at our then-home in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, celebrating his 3rd birthday, and during Isaac's birthday tea with the (iconically-named) 'Colin the Caterpillar Cake', we remember getting the news on Alison's phone, that Sarah had just given birth to her twins over at Gloucester Royal Hospital, with first pictures of the twins - awwwwwww!!!!! 

Awww (again) !!!!! What a day! And Lois and I remember that day as if it were yesterday, that's for sure.

And see - bottom right - the photo of our dear daughter Sarah, at 36 years of age, on her first day after becoming a mum, with a half-eaten hospital lunch at her bedside.

Golly that lunch looks "scrummy" even now - battered fish, maybe, with mashed potato and mixed veg, do you think? What's not to like haha!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Saturday July 25th 2026 "Is YOUR community going rapidly downhill, in a not very smart car, to put it mildly!!!"

Yes, Friends, are you concerned that YOUR local community is deteriorating rapidly downhill with a lot of undesirable people in undesirable cars turning up and parking outside YOUR house?

It's been happening to a lot of us recently, but one local community seems to have found the answer, to judge from the story in today's Onion News - just turn to page 94!

Kudos, those residents! One just has to make a stand at some point, doesn't one!

And reading those plucky residents' story this morning, here in semi-respectable Liphook, Hampshire brings a tearful smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, to put it mildly!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Community is still important, even in 2026, Lois and I believe, and community theatre even more so! Hence our committed drive to support the local "amdram" (amateur dramatics to the uninitiated!), except when we can't be bothered to get out of bed for it, that is! Last Saturday afternoon we weren't quite in the mood for a bunch of local actors acting their hearts out in front of our noses, and so we casually switched our booking to today instead.

While being crusty old "boomers", we're also quite "wizard", as young people might say today, at pressing buttons on our own, and each other's, phones, so don't talk to us about  "Gen Z" phone-users casually carrying their phones, plus keys, money etc in one of their enormous so-called "claws" haha!

And this Saturday afternoon, casually as anything, we also move our "statutory nap-time" forward to 12:30pm, so we can do it and still be in time to scoot round to nearby Headley Village Hall for 2pm, to catch the penultimate performance of "Flora's Heatherley", a local play celebrating the 150th anniversary of the birth of local authoress Flora Thompson (1876-1947). 

Flora Thompson was the postmistress at nearby Grayshott, who wrote the classic autobiographical novel "Lark Rise to Candleford", which you may remember was a big hit on BBC TV a few years ago.

And the afternoon certainly turns out to be lots of fun for Lois and me, and for the 40-strong audience in Headley Village Hall, as the local theatre group brings to life young Flora's struggles to find the time, in between her busy working days at the Post Office, to do her writing; while, at the same time, her having to fend off would-be suitors, would you believe, and also having to silence all the local gossips, curious to know when she was going to find a husband, and all that sort of "malarkey"!

The production, by local writer John Owen Smith, evocatively brings back the atmosphere of those crazy, far-off, times - the birth of new ideas like socialism, and also the Boer War which took so many of the local lads away to far-off South Africa to fight the Boers.

Above all the writer does a great job bringing to life Flora's extraordinary determination to become an author, undaunted by the reputations of the already famous writers living in this area, people like George Bernard Shaw and Conan Doyle, who used to pop into Flora's post office to buy stamps and collect telegrams etc - what madness, wasn't it !!!

(left) George Bernard Shaw and (right) Arthur Conan Doyle,

two of the writers living in this area in the late 19th century

At the end of the afternoon's performance, the cast persuade selected members of the mostly elderly audience sitting around the sides of this local village hall to get up and be their partners a traditional so-called "circle dance", to close the afternoon's fun, which is a nice touch!

For some reason, none of the cast picked either Lois or me to be their partners - a big relief to Yours Truly, but I suspect Lois has always had an unfulfilled yen to "trip the light fantastic", either with GBS or with the creator of Sherlock Holmes, so I try to be extra nice to her to make up for it, for the rest of the day - I'm all heart haha!!!

noted author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (ringed) makes 

a rare appearance, dancing with a member of the audience

respected author George Bernard Shaw (right), still turning

heads as a dancer, even at the age of 70, back in 1926

Fascinating stuff isn't it!

[If you say so! - Ed]

Will this do? [Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Friday July 24th 2026 "Friends, think twice before you pet that strange dog in the park! Just saying!!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU pet strangers' dogs when you're "going about your business"? 

Lots of us do, don't we! But it can be risky, as the lead story in today's Onion News makes clear, and in spades!!!!

Ouch!

And reading Bane's "profile" as a somewhat "bitey" dog this morning, brings a shudder of a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in park-heavy Liphook, Hampshire - no question about that!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Let me put my cards on the table at this point!

[I wish you wouldn't keep doing that, Colin! - Ed]

Lois and I are not really dog-lovers, we're more cat-people. However in the course of our long, and distinguished, married life of 54 years next month (would you believe!) we've managed to 'spawn' two daughters who grew up to marry dog-lovers, so over the last couple of decades, we've had to make some accommodations in respect of hobnobbing with dogs, to put it mildly!

flashback to August 1972: Lois and me, at the start of

our long and distinguished married life together

What madness, isn't it! And, just to rub it in, last night Lois and I got a nightmare call from our elder daughter Alison, who's reaching the end a 2-week holiday in Mallorca in the Spanish Balearic Islands with husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids. Alison wants us to go over, bright and early this morning, to the family's house in nearby Churt today, just over the county line in Surrey, to 'see to' their 2 pet dogs, Sika and Bjorn, and to stop them biting a plumber who's going to be arriving at the house at 9am today.

our daughter Alison, with lawyer-husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids,

currently on holiday in Mallorca, in the Spanish Balearic Islands

Alison and Edward's two Dutch dog-sitters have reported water dripping through the ceiling of the family's kitchen, and a local plumber, Phil, is due to arrive there at 9am this morning, and the family's two dogs are bound to take exception to him, Alison tells us. What madness (again) !!!!

To cover this sudden, unexpected, family emergency, Lois and I, one of Liphook's busiest retired couples (!), nevertheless decide to spend the morning at Alison's house, letting the plumber in at 9 o'clock, and then protecting him from the family's two pet dogs, and generally "trying to look busy", if only for the sake of our reputation locally (!).

us, at our daughter Alison's house in Churt, Surrey, this morning, keeping the 

family's two dogs from biting a plumber, having a scratch lunch, before

going home for another richly-deserved afternoon in bed

[You don't look very busy to me, Colin - just saying! - Ed]

Now, comfortably retired for 20 years, Lois and I are once again wondering, for the umpteenth time, "How did we ever find the time to go to work, back in the day?" !!!!

Alison and family are due to be flying into London's Heathrow Airport this afternoon, at the end of their Spanish holiday, and that's when the fur is going to start flying - that's for sure!

the route that our daughter Alison and family will be taking this afternoon

at the end of their 2-week holiday in Mallorca, in the Balearic Islands

Talking to local plumber Phil this morning, Lois and I establish that water had been coming out of the bathroom shower, through the  kitchen ceiling below and on to the kitchen table - Lois and I had noticed drops of water on the table before Phil the Plumber arrived, at 9 o'clock.

But who will pay for the damage? Will it be Alison and Edward, who are just renting the house temporarily while their real house is being extensively renovated? Or will it be their absentee Swedish landlord? Phil the Plumber says that the shower cubicle is faulty with an ill-fitting door that would easily allow water to escape onto the bathroom floor, and potentially through the ceiling down to the table in the kitchen.

a typical, incorrectly-installed shower door

Or, alternatively, were the Dutch dog-sitting couple to blame by irresponsibly directing the shower-head towards the door? Phil had noticed that it was angled that way - for what purpose, we don't know, because the dog-sitting couple have already flown back to Holland, which is a pity!

Your views welcome, however, especially if you've got a law degree in an Anglosphere country, or in Holland, or Sweden, even - but postcards only, needless to say !!!!!!

new lawyers graduating in (top left) UK, (top right) Canada,

(bottom left) Holland, and (bottom right) Sweden

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin - sat around in your daughter's garden, had a hasty lunch with elements bought at the local Spar, and then gone home for another afternoon in bed? - Ed]

Well, absolutely not, seeing as how you're interested! 

Known locally as Liphook's busiest retired couple, Lois and I also somehow found time today to read a bit of Lois's copy of "The Week", which gives a digest of the past week's events at home and abroad, and keep up with trends generally - and there's a real "doozy" of a trend featured today - turn to page 94 in YOUR copy haha!

Lois is on trend, in a way, because she gave up carrying a handbag around some years ago, although, unlike the modern Gen Z women, she has up-sized upwards rather than down-sized, which is interesting! 

It's an all-purpose "bag" and needs a real "woman grip" or a superhuman-grade "everything claw", just to lug it around! I'm not sure what she puts in it, but I can let you know if you're interested haha!!!

(left) me showcasing Lois's "everything bag", and (right) Lois, seen

sporting the bag during the recent visit of our daughter Sarah 

and family, who flew in from Perth, Australia for a 3-week break with us

Me? 

I'm an "old school", strictly "pockets" kind of a guy, an invention which I find indispensable as a "no fuss" way of carrying around my hanky, comb, coins, wallet and phone.

But what's in YOUR pockets, if you're a pocket-person, may I ask! And if a bag is "your bag" (no pun intended!), how big is your bag, and what exactly is in it? Or, if you're a Gen Z "girlie", what's in YOUR "girl grip" or "everything claw"?

Your answers welcome (again)! Just put them on your postcard with your legal "take" on the "shower leak" controversy, if you can squeeze them in, that is haha!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!

Thursday July 23rd 2026 "Have YOU ever had to modify YOUR hair-style in a supermarket car park?"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever had to modify YOUR hair style in a supermarket car park?

It's happened to most of us, at one time or another, hasn't it! And with good reason! There's even a story about it in today's Onion News, so check it out - see page 94 !!!

Kudos, that woman! And let's hope she finds that one of those large-hatted males, attracted by her "display", turns out to be "Mr Right", or at least "Mr Right-Enough-For-A-Month-or-Two", let's say!

And, certainly, reading about Platt's "parking nightmare" this morning, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, brings a wry smile to the normally-neutral faces of me and my wife Lois, no question about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Today we have one of the fortnightly online meetings of the little "U3A Intermediate Danish For Old Codgers" group, which we jointly lead, "for our sins" (!), and parking problems even rear their ugly heads during our meeting today, which is a total surprise!!!!

flashback: me and Lois trying to control a recent typically rowdy

meeting of our U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" Group 

Our group is currently reading a Danish murder mystery, "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss) by Danish writer Anna Grue, and yes, even the normally cool-headed Danes have their parking issues, would you believe, seemingly, would you believe!

The novel we're reading is all about a young Danish romance scammer, Jay, who operates by getting into bed with menopausal Danish female lottery-winners, before emptying their bank accounts, the little scamp!!!

a typical young Danish romance-scammer in bed with 

a menopausal female lottery-winner

But fun fact - even romance-scammers have problems with car-parking, now and again - and perhaps not enough attention has been paid to the issue (?). 

I wonder....!

Young Jay is anxious to get to know his latest victim, a menopausal Danish woman called Bente, and he is trying to engineer a first encounter with her outside the block of flats where she lives. However, he's currently being frustrated by Bente's fellow residents, who are objecting to Jay parking in their "residents-only" car park, which is annoying Jay no end!!!!

a typical Danish "residents only" car park sign, the picture

carrying an implied threat that your car may be 

towed away by a truck, which is intimidating to put it mildly!

Here's an extract from our current Danish novel, which I've translated into English, for your convenience! Jay has parked his car and then gone to the apartment block entrance to see if he catch his menopausal victim coming back from the shops and going into the building. While he's waiting, however, he turns round to see a couple of residents obviously angry about where he decided to park his car, in a "residents-only" spot, would you believe!

Poor Jay!!!

Yes, even romance-scammers can have problems, it seems, and today Jay has them "in spades", to put it mildly!!!! And - talking point - should apartment blocks for elderly people incorporate a few "scammers only" slots for people like Jay, who are only trying to do their jobs, when all is said and done haha!!!

I wonder.... (again!!!!!)......!

[That's enough whimsy! - Ed]

Well, our "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group-members all have a jolly good laugh over that extract today, but there's another serious point here too, isn't there.

Are the Danes more fanatical than us laid-back Brits in enforcing societal rules? It's certainly been the experience of Lois and me during our many visits to Denmark.

flashback to 2017: Lois and me during one of our many visits

to "babysit" our 3 grandchildren, then living in Copenhagen,

during one of their parents' absences in Hong Kong

We have quite a discussion on this during our group meeting today, and googling the question we turn up some interesting points:

Fascinating stuff, isn't it !!!!

[If you say so! - Ed]

But your comments welcome - postcards only haha !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!