Friday September 4th 2026 "Are YOU sitting on a train reading this? Look around you for the tell-tale signs!!!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU sitting on a train, as you read these words? It's worth taking a look around you for the tell-tale signs: things flying fast "on the move" outside the window, while you're just sitting still - that's Yours Truly's personal "numero uno" "litmus" test, that's for sure !!!!!

 Certainly train travel is becoming more and more popular, according to the press. Just look at these headlines from this morning's Onion News, if you don't believe me!!!!!

And these stories bring a peculiarly twisted smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in semi-bucolic Liphook, Hampshire as we tramp the "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes Liphook United on our near-daily morning walk, that's for sure!!!!

my wife Lois and me, having a quiet giggle over the latest train news,

as we tramp the "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes Liphook United

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

We mustn't laugh at the train industry, however, because for our lawyer son-in-law Edward, who's a director of a regional train company with potential business interests overseas, trains are very much his "bread-and-butter", and he's even flying to Boston USA in a week's time to hopefully close a "big money deal", so we'll see! 

(left) our lawyer son-in-law Edward with our daughter Alison, both dressed up to the nines

for a recent Railway Ball in London, and (right) Lois waving to one of Edward's trains,

the "Hereford-to-Worcester Flyer", as Lois and I have dubbed it, just to encourage

the driver through the Malvern Marshes, which was a nice touch - but what madness!!!!!

By total coincidence, Lois and I will be seeing Edward and Alison later this month, because they've kindly agreed to "chauffeur" us to the wedding of my niece Lucy to her Anglo-American fiancee Rosanna at Ipswich, an occasion to which we've all been invited. 

And it'll certainly add a touch of glamour to our arrival in Ipswich to step out of Edward's car, hopefully in full view of all the other wedding guests, no question about that!

flashback to May: (left) Lois and me at Ipswich's leading Turkish restaurant,

with my sister Jill (rightmost), and Lucy and Rosanna and (right)

the happy couple at another recent "upscale" celebration, which is nice!

So all ye photographers among the expected crowds of guests and onlookers, get ye all your cameras ready for the money-shot, as Lois and step regally out of Edward's car!!!!

And Lois and I know all about "turning on the glamour" for big occasions - witness our "get-up" for a recent Millennium Night at "The Clocktower", one of upscale town Cheltenham's leading night-spots!!!!

flashback to December 1999: Lois and me, "dressed up to the nines" for a

playfully mis-spelt "Millenium Eve" dinner at an upscale Cheltenham 'watering-hole',

dubbed "Millenium [sic!] at the Clocktower" by the pub's management (!)

Happy days!!!!

We find out today, Friday, however, that Lois and I unfortunately won't be able to stay for the post-wedding 'brunch' on the morning after the wedding, which is a pity, but it's for a very good, and also rather semi-glamorous, reason. You see, our son-in-law Edward has to fly to Boston USA later that day for that potential "big money deal" mentioned above, and that's one of the penalties you pay for "living the high life" - no pun intended!!! 

Busy busy busy!!!!!

Don't think, however, that Lois and I are becoming a bit "hoity-toity" ourselves, perhaps, and no longer willing to mix with our Liphook neighbours and treat them almost as our equals - far from it!!! And this morning, if you had rung our doorbell, you might have peeped through the window and seen us hard "at it" on the kitchen table, mugging up on our "Latin homework", in preparation for a local class, would you believe!!!

Lois and me this Friday morning, hard at it on the kitchen table, with a pile

 of dictionaries and reference works, doing our "Latin homework" (!), which is mad!

Yes, in addition to our many upscale glamorous activities, "for our sins" (!) Lois and I also somehow find time to be members of the local U3A "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" group, led by a former schoolteacher and local man, Joe. And our group's first meeting of the new term has been scheduled for Monday, and so in the next couple of days Lois and I have got 10 sentences to translate from English into Latin, and those sentences, as we always say, "won't translate themselves", to put it mildly - hence our mild panic today!!!

flashback to last winter-spring: former schoolteacher Joe explaining some point of

Latin grammar to our little group of mainly female students, known as Joe's Harem,

all members of Joe's local U3A "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" group

Dubbed by neighbours "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", Lois and I are certainly earning that accolade "in spades" today - that's for sure!!!!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin - translated 10 sentences into Latin? - Ed]

Well, no, seeing as how you're obviously interested (!). The answer to your question is "No, with a capital 'N'", this time at least !!!! 

And it's quite a very definite "no" to your question today, I must stress, because, also today, we somehow find time, not only to spend another afternoon in bed, recharging our batteries, but also later in the evening we find ourselves showing what's been dubbed "our surprising, delightfully lighter side" (!).

Yes, you've probably guessed already! We're watching with (we suspect) millions of our fellow compatriots, the first episode of a new TV series on the More4 channel, "Sandi's Ireland: A Literary Journey", presented by the UK's favourite Dane, Sandi Toksvig, which is nice!

 

For Lois and me, one of our favourite poets is WB Yeats, and it's nice for us this evening to see Sandi journey to remote Sligo on Ireland's Atlantic coast, where Yeats would work on his poems, so many of which seemed to unlock the meaning of life and to speak to his readers' souls, in the words of Sandi's friend, the present-day Irish novelist Marion Keyes.

We hear about Yeats' extraordinarily quiet life, his quiet days in Sligo - no noise, no radio or TV, just the sights and sounds of nature to inspire him: mostly the sounds, rather than the sights, because Yeats suffered all his life with poor eyesight, but somehow managing without glasses. He was, however, passionate about the need for Ireland to gain independence from Britain, and this uncomfortably shy man with his poor sight campaigned for that independence in the only way he could - through his poems. 

Also, Lois and I didn't realise the extent of the poverty in which Yeats lived for most of his life. 

In 1923, the year after Irish independence, Yeats was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature, with the international cultural world in a way, not just honouring Yeats and his poetry, but also welcoming Ireland as a new member of the world's family of nations, as Keyes says.

The financial value of the Nobel Prize, however, meant what was a great deal of money to the financially struggling Yeats and his family. When told the good news of the award by his friend Smillie on the Irish Times, Yeats is reported to have said "How much, Smillie? How much?" 

Fascinating stuff, though, isn't it!

Rest in peace, WB !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday September 3rd 2026 "Scandinavians eh! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!!!!"

Yes, Friends, say what you like about our friends and neighbours over there across the North Sea in Scandinavia, but some days they just seem to dominate our headlines, don't they - the scamps!!!!

Take this morning's Onion News for example, if you want "chapter and verse" (!!!!!)

And these stories bring a weak smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, here in semi-attractive Liphook, Hampshire - no question about that!!!!!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

And we're smiling, a bit wryly perhaps, because today is very much another Scandi-day for us, with, on our agenda, another fortnightly online meeting of the local U3A Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, which we allegedly "run" - for our sins!!!!

Certainly, any of our neighbours who have the misfortune to ring our doorbell this morning, if they glance through our window, will see us on the couch "getting busy" with our Danish homework, in preparation for this afternoon's meeting - not a pretty sight at the best of times!!!!!

(left) Lois and me looking over our Danish homework this morning, and (right)

us conducting a typical online meeting of our "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group

Needless to say, Lois and I have been personally (and solely!!!) responsible for raising the profile of the Danish language in Liphook, where it was at a pretty low level when we first moved to the town in January 2025. Our own interest in the language started during the seven years when our daughter Alison and family were based in Copenhagen 2012-2018, and Lois and I visited them several times, would you believe!!!!

flashback to 2013: Lois and me, dressing up at the Viking Museum, Trelleborg,

during one of our early visits to Denmark to see our daughter Alison and family

Excitement is certainly brewing in the Danish murder mystery our little group is reading - "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss) by Danish crime-writer Anna Grue. The book is all about a young Danish "romance-scammer", Jay, who particularly targets 60-something menopausal women lottery winners, getting into their beds and then into their bank-accounts (!), a theme which resonates with our little group's mainly older, female members, so that's all good!!!!! 

(left) Danish crime-writer Anna Grue, with (right) her murder-mystery

"Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss) which our little group is reading

Young romance-scammer Jay, when he's in bed making love to these older women, has an unfortunate tendency of then falling asleep and taking the bedclothes with him, leaving the women to rely on their menopausal 'hot flushes' to keep themselves warm, which is a pity!

So far, there's been little in the way of hard evidence to convict Jay, but now maverick Danish ex-cop Dan Sommerdahl is on the case. And Dan has persuaded his own big sister Bente to pose as a menopausal lottery-winner to try and trick Jay, and lure him into a trap. But will Jay recognise Dan, who's got a high public profile in the Danish press as a maverick ex-cop repeatedly "running rings" around the "real police"? 

I wonder.....!!!!!

(left) Jay with one of his victims, a 60-something menopausal lottery-winner,

and (right) maverick ex-cop Dan, who's using his big sister Bente to lure Jay

into a trap - but will Jay 'smell a rat' and recognise Dan from his pictures in the papers?

So will Jay recognise Dan, who's Denmark's leading "maverick ex-cop", or will Jay fall for Dan's "sting", and go to bed with Dan's big sister Bente, as Dan hopes?

We'll just have to wait and see! So watch this space!!!!

[I don't think I'll bother! - Ed]

20:00 Tired out as always, after one of our "Danish" days, Lois and I get ready for an early bed with one of the many radio programmes on BBC Radio 4 today celebrating France lending us back the 1000-year-old, 230ft long Bayeux Tapestry, which depicts William the Conqueror's victory over the Anglo-Saxons at the Battle of Hastings in 1066, which is nice!

flashback to yesterday: King Charles and Queen Camilla viewing

the 1000-year-old Bayeux Tapestry in the British Museum,

with new UK premier Andy Burnham and French President

Emmanuel Macron and their wives

BBC Radio 4 is calling this their 'Norman Day' and is certainly 'pushing the boat out' [no pun intended!!!] in programmes about the Normans' invasion from across the Channel, and the subsequent impact they made on all aspects of our lives here, to put it mildly!!!!

BBC Radio 4's "Norman Day"

And listening to all these programmes on "catch-up" over the next few days will certainly keep Lois and me out of mischief, no question about that!!!!

Tonight, however, we content ourselves with the special edition of "The Food Programme", in which food historian Dr Annie Gray travels to Normandy to investigate the impact of the Normans on our British food and drink, both then and now.

Lois and I didn't know that one of the first things William the Conqueror and his army did, after landing in England, was to find something to eat, and their first meal is depicted graphically in the Bayeux Tapestry, so was obviously seen as a 'must do' on their arrival, which makes sense! 

They don't seem to have brought any food with them, very much a "rookie error" - and a possible result of "crossed wires" in the planning department, perhaps? And the tapestry shows them immediately charging through the Sussex countryside "seizing" food, and generally pillaging, perhaps a bit angry over their planning 'snafu' and taking their embarrassment out on the locals, perhaps (?), which seems a pity! 

the Normans on arrival in England, realising that they had

forgotten to bring any food, and taking their embarrassment

out on the locals by pillaging, ransacking etc - what madness!!!!

We also see how the Normans prepared their first meal "on the hoof", and also how they ate it: a cooking pot over a simple fire, skewers with birds on, some using their shields as makeshift 'plates', even managing to find something to drink along the way etc etc. What madness (again) !!!!

And later, after the invasion has been officially launched, there's a "Last Supper"-inspired dinner presided over by the terrifying Norman bishop, Bishop Odo, with proper bowls, cutlery etc and with soup and fish on the menu, and an Anglo-Saxon 'server' to take orders and bring in the food, looking a bit 'servile', probably hoping for a tip or other gratuity, although the Normans were famously tight-fisted, so good luck with that one, fella haha!!!

the invading Normans at their first proper feast in England,

presided over by the terrifying Bishop Odo, and with a poor

Anglo-Saxon waiter struggling to bring in the food - although 

whether the famously tight-fisted Normans gave him a tip seems unlikely

Poor Anglo-Saxon waiter!!!!!

And we hear that, in the longer term, the Normans totally revolutionised food in England, popularising pork, bacon and chicken, also cheese and cider, plus venison and also rabbit, with altogether spicier food aided by mustard and black pepper etc - what madness, wasn't it !!!

New monasteries became a key element in the preparation and marketing much of the country's food, which would certainly have kept all those monks and nuns out of mischief, to put it mildly! And our whole landscape was transformed by the Normans, with deer parks set up for the venison, and vast networks of rabbit warrens, plus dovecots for keeping pigeons, all controlled by the Norman noblemen and their staff.

What a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off times!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday September 2nd 2026 "Has YOUR town been 'spawning' any 'startups' recently? Blink and you might miss them haha!!!!"

Yes, Friends, has YOUR town been 'spawning' any little 'startup' companies or businesses lately? Some of them don't last long, so the trick is to take a photograph of them before they 'fold'!  

It's all total madness, as you'll see, "in spades" from some of the headlines in this morning's Onion News, to put it mildly!!!!!

Wow, just 45 minutes for that particular start-up - that's "going it", isn't it!!! But that same plucky little enterprise could eventually find fame in the history books as a so-called 'disruptor', if nothing else. So, on reflection, who knows what impact that little startup's 45 minutes will have in the longer term! 

I wonder....!!! But we live in exciting times, no question about that!!!!!

And all those stories in this morning's Onion News bring a vapid glint of a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, because even quiet little Liphook, Hampshire (population: 7,436), where we live, is currently hosting a so-called 'startup', would you believe: that new coffee-shop-cafe with the mysterious name, "The Moon and Cous", which is currently 'making waves' in our little town's even-more-miniscule, so-called "entertainment quarter"!

(left) my wife Lois and me, being 'photobombed' recently by favourite stuffed-toy, 

beloved 'Floppy Dog', and (right) Liphook's "in" and  very much "trending" new meeting-point, 

the cafe with the mysterious name, "The Moon and Cous" - what madness !!!!

And we make our mould-breaking first visit to Liphook's new "epicentre" (!) this very Wednesday morning specifically in order to do a quick "catch-up" with our daughter Alison and her "middle child" Rosalind (18), who drive over today from the family home in nearby Churt, just over the county line in Surrey. 

Young Rosalind is on the cusp of a really exciting development in her life. Later this month she'll be starting a 4-year degree course in International Politics and Danish at UCL (University College London), with a year out in Denmark, a country the family know well, having lived in Copenhagen for 6 years from 2012 to 2018. 

(left) Liphook's new cafe with the mysterious name, with [inset] our daughter 

Alison and granddaughter Rosalind (18), who Lois and I meet there today, and (right)

flashback to 2017: us dropping Rosalind (centre) and siblings off at their Danish school

Awwwww!!!! See how tiny they looked, back in the day!!!!!!

But at the same time, "Kudos, Rosalind - you go, girl !!!!!"

However, Rosalind's future as, maybe the UK's Ambassador to Denmark (?), is second on our agenda today as we sip our coffee and munch politely on our coffee-and-walnut cake. The big question is why Liphook's new fashionable 'watering-hole' is called "The Moon and Cous", of all things (!) - quite the mystery isn't it!!!!

Lois and I had wondered, idly, whether the new cafe's crazy name was because everything on the menu had 'couscous' in it, even the drinks perhaps, but that plainly isn't the case, to judge from the reviews posted by local residents, which we checked out before our visit there today!

And when paying the bill and leaving, we can't resist asking our waitress about the origin of the cafe's curious name, and she reveals, exclusively, that it's because the owner's name is Mar-cus, and hence the somewhat 'whacky' name - so mystery solved?  I wonder.....!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? Had coffee and cake in a new cafe? - Ed]

Absolutely not, seeing as how you ask!!! Dubbed by neighbours "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", we also somehow find time today to enjoy 30-minutes of "squelching" on the "hallowed, not to say, drenched (!), turf" which is home to local soccer heroes Liphook United, no less!!!!

us this morning, after 30 minutes of "squelching" (!) on the "hallowed turf"

of local soccer heroes Liphook United, currently "languishing" at position no.7

in the iconic East Hampshire Premier League's latest league-table, which is exciting!

Also today, we even somehow manage to "squeeze in" an entertaining 2 hours in bed this afternoon for "statutory nap-time",  somehow also managing to keep up to date with news from home and abroad via our little mobiles, which are comically, not to say 'manically' (!) vibrating under the bedclothes all afternoon, would you believe!

And today the big news is new Labour Party premier Andy Burnham's first "PMQs" with Conservative opposition leader Kemi Badenoch, in the House of Commons, a confrontation which poor Andy seems to "survive", at least, according to reports (!).

The BBC comments that Burnham, who wants to build the less confrontational "consensus" style of politics that the public obviously wants too, unfortunately also has to cope, on a weekly basis, with the UK's deeply "adversarial" constitution, which tends to delight in gladiatorial style confrontations between the party leaders, as exemplified by the dreaded PMQs, which is a pity! What madness, isn't it !!!

Poor Andy!!!!!

Later, Steve, our American brother-in-law, who, I'm ashamed to say, knows far more about UK politics than we do, texts us direct from Philadelphia  with this "doozy" of a snippet about some of Burnham's other scheduled activities today (!):

(left) a "doozy" of a snippet texted us tonight from Philadelphia by Steve, our American 

brother-in-law, and (right) the scene at the British Museum today, when King Charles

views the famous Bayeux Tapestry with Andy Burnham, and also French President Macron

Steve's "snippet" expresses the view that if there's a tear in Burnham's eye today, it'll be a tear of relief that he's earlier survived his first proper back-and-forth with feisty Opposition Leader Kemi Badenoch.

Lois and I think, however, that Kemi herself will be relieved that she lost the election, and so doesn't have to look at the Bayeux Tapestry today, surprisingly! You see, the celebrated 1000-year-old tapestry, which depicts the 1066 victory of the Normans, under William the Conqueror, over King Harold's Anglo-Saxon army, is also famously rude, with a huge "penis-tally", as the Guardian reported last year.

Yes, it's been known for seven years now, that there is a certified tally of 93 penises that got sewn by English seamstresses into the tapestry: some of the penises belonging to the Norman invaders and some to the Anglo-Saxon defenders, although most of them belonging to their horses, so that particular figure is very much a "given", and not disputed by experts.

However, last year, Steve told us that some bright spark (!) - step forward noted tapestry scholar Dr Christopher Monk, no less! - claimed that he had found the much-speculated-on, 94th phallus, although Oxford University Professor George Garnett, who found the original 93 phalluses, thinks that Monk's "phallus" is just the scabbard of a sword or dagger, so the jury's still out on that one, which is exciting!

  

(left) a Norman invader sporting possibly the Bayeux Tapestry's legendary 94th phallus,

and (right) me giving a talk on the tapestry to an online meeting of my local U3A

"Intermediate Middle English for Old Codgers" group, where "muggins-here", Yours Truly

(above, centre) had to carefully  "skirt round" the phallus issue, no pun intended (!)

I don't suppose either Queen Camilla or Macron's wife Brigitte will turn a hair when viewing the phalluses - they're probably both used to that kind of 'malarkey', but we're not so sure about Kemi - although your views welcome (postcards only !!!!) !!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!!