Saturday January 17th 2026 "Do YOU feel nervous whenever Sean Connery drops in?"

Yes, Friends, do YOU sometimes feel a bit "on edge" when Sean Connery drops by YOUR house? Well, you would, now, seeing as how he passed away in 2020 - rest in peace, Sean, by the way haha!!!!

However, there was a reminder this morning of those anxious days in this morning's Onion News, waiting for Sean's "knock on the door" (!), in the paper's popular "From the Archives" column - if you can thumb your way all the way back to page 94, that is! It'll be worth the possible slight-to-slightish damage to your thumb, I can assure you haha!!!!

Poor Sean!!!!!

However, reading the Onion story in bed this afternoon with my wife Lois, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, brings a queer kind of twisted smile to our lips, because we've been reminded already today, that Scotland's big night, Robert Burns Night, is just 8 days away. We were having our lunch today with a pizza at the local Links Tavern and we just happened to see an advert for their special Burns Night supper.

Lois and me having lunch today at the local Links Tavern, where we 

see an advert for the pub's Burns Night supper next weekend, which we sign up to

On a whim, we decide to sign up for the pub's Burns Night supper. 

We usually celebrate Burns Night at home, just the two of us, but we're attracted by the promised presence in the pub, next weekend, of the St Andrews Pipe Band - a group of Scottish "ex-pats" based in nearby Hamble-le-Rice, near Southampton. [Hamble-le-Rice is an odd name for a village, but 'hamble' meant a river-bend in Anglo-Saxon, and "Le Rice" was Norman French for a rise, referencing the village's position on higher ground - but you knew that already, obviously haha!!!!]

flashback to June 2014: the local St Andrews pipe band travels to

Ouistreham in northern France for the 70th anniversary of D-Day

Yes, this local pipe band were across the English Channel in Ouistreham, Normandy for the 70th anniversary of D-Day. But did you know that Ouistreham was named by some Anglo-Saxons who, perhaps, got lost on the journey from Denmark to England, and decided to settle in Normandy instead - well, the weather's better down there isn't it haha! 

This is just "by the way", but the Normandy town of Ouistreham has a special significance for Lois and me, because we had a lovely, super-relaxed holiday there, back in the autumn of 1996, 30 years ago, to mark our new-found "empty-nesthood". Both our daughters had now become officially "off our hands" and away at college, Alison at Cardiff and Sarah had just started at Lancaster.

flashback to 1996: our elder daughter Alison now at Cardiff University, where she'd already

met her future husband Edward, and our younger daughter Sarah settled in at Lancaster, 

Lois and I have a lovely relaxed holiday in Ouistreham, Normandy

[That's enough place-names! - Ed]

14:00 With our £10 deposit for Burns Night paid at the bar, together with our order for our starters and mains, you can imagine that Lois is in a super-excited mood for this afternoon's "statutory nap-time", to put it mildly (!). 

She checks first that she's still got her "Tartanista" Scottish kilt in our wardrobe - not a forgone conclusion, after our having moved home twice in 2 years, would you believe, which was total madness !!!! She remembers, however, that her kilt famously "fell off her" on Burns Night last year. We'd both been on a crazy diet, and lost half a stone each in a couple of months.

flashback to Burns Night 2024: Lois, seen here in happier times, in her 36" UK Size16 kilt, 

preparing the haggis we'd ordered from Ocado (see right for full details of our shopping list!)

[All right, we get the point! - Ed]

Lois's kilt is UK size 16 for a 36-inch waist, which is now far too "roomy" for her, but this afternoon, after making plans to order her a shiny-new 34 inch one from Scotland, and hoping it can be delivered before next weekend, she realises that she can just "move the button" with a bit of her expert needlework skills, which often come in handy, and which is nice!

We try to stay trim, although we've both put on a few pounds with lots of naughty eating over Christmas. The new diet starts next week, by the way haha!

And this morning we took a bracing 4000-step walk, near the line of the old Roman Road, over Chapel Common, just over the county line in West Sussex, which is a new walk for us, in a new area.

flashback to this morning: we do a 4000-step walk over Chapel Common, a new area for us

"Chapel Common" takes its name from a nearby 800-year-old disused Anglican chapel, Tuxlith Chapel, which was recently rescued from ruin by "The Friends of Friendless Churches".

Awwww, bless !!! And, by the way, "Kudos, you guys!" and also, "Hail to thee, you kept us out of war!" haha !!!!

[That's enough history! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!

Friday January 16th 2026 "Do YOU attend YOUR family's press conferences? It's tempting to 'skip' them sometimes, isn't it !!!!"

Yes, Friends, do you meticulously turn up when your family members hold press conferences in the front garden?

Everyday life is so busy these days, it's tempting to "skip them" or pretend that they clash with a medical appointment or some-such nonsense, isn't it! 

But are we perhaps thereby missing out on what some  people dub "key chapters in your family's story"? I wonder...! Onion News has more....

Poor Martin !!!!! And let's hope he got a better attendance this year, after last year's fiasco, when only the family cat is reported to have been in the vicinity!!!!

Martin's story, however, gives me and my wife Lois, here is partly-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, something of a sardonic, diagonal-shaped smile to our lips, as we take our daily walk this morning over the "hallowed turf" of local "lawn bowling giants", those bowling "legends", the famous "Liphook Old Codgers", to put it mildly!!!!

And don't worry, Lois isn't sporting her legendary stilettos, so no worries there, and no need to start shouting at us, like last time, Mr Greens-man, if you're reading this!!!!

Luckily, there's no sign of Mr so-called Greens-man, although we do hear a record number of birds. They're exercising their vocal chords, Lois says, in preparation for the "mating season" - what madness!!!

And there's no sign of the team's ageing legendary members today - the only old codgers around this morning are just me and Lois! So whether the bowling guys and gals are preparing for their mating season somewhere more private, remains to be seen (!). 

typical local East Hampshire "old codgers", in training for their annual mating season, (left)

limbering up in the gym, and (right) trying out their mating calls on a recent Saga tour of the Alps

In the meantime I'll let you know if Lois and I hear any suspicious noises coming from behind the clubhouse haha!!!

I've got an app on my phone which covers birds, identifying them by their "noises" (!), but I haven't got the new one which targets elderly humans, and identifies them to their various sporting activities (!).

The 'Liphook Old Codgers' club's "ageing, legendary members",

seen here in happier times, after the annual "needle match"

against local rivals the "Clanfield Crinklies"

The Liphook Old Codgers, the Clanfield Crinklies etc - Yours Truly, in my popular blog posts etc (!), tend to call them all by the single "catch-all" moniker of "ageing legendary members".

14:30 But is "ageing legendary members" the correct word-order here? Or should it be "legendary ageing members"? 

I wonder... !!!

And it's a topic that comes up this afternoon, during the monthly online meeting of the local U3A "Intermediate History of English for Old Codgers" group, which I lead, "for my sins" (!!!!).

some typical online meetings of the local U3A "Intermediate 

History of English for Old Codgers" group

It's a meeting of mini-presentations by various members, and Darryl, when it's his turn, asks us to arrange a series of adjectives in the correct order.  He says, interestingly, that all native speakers of English know "instinctively" what order to arrange a string of adjectives in, even though few can say what those rules are. 

As the BBC's Matthew Anderson put it recently:

As Matthew says, "A lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling-knife" is correct, for example. But mess with that word-order and people will immediately begin to suspect that English is not your native language, or, as Anderson says, that you're perhaps a maniac. Or both!!!!

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

[If you say so! - Ed]

a typical green French silver whittling knife

Next, Darryl also gives us a list of apparently "modern words", like "psychedelic", "biopic", "ecosystem" etc, and asks us all to guess what decade we think they first appeared in. And I think that in every single case our group thought that these words were much, much more recent than they really are. 

The word "newsflash", for example dates from 1904, when you'd imagine that the news was still coming in by carrier pigeon, or by sets of hilltop bonfires etc.

#

flashback to World War I: troops using carrier pigeons

to send their weekly report back to HQ

Darryl doesn't cover the word "flashback", incidentally, one of Yours Truly's "fave" words. After this afternoon's meeting, however, I google it and I find that it's almost contemporaneous with "newsflash", which is a surprise:

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

And if you're wondering about "fave" for "favourite" as in "one of Yours Truly's fave words", well that too sounds "modern", but actually dates from the 1930's would you believe !!!!

[That's enough words! - Ed]

But wait, just one more question for you, one that Darryl posed to our online group this afternoon: and it's all about the 'modern' word "gaslighting", which dates from the 1940's.

And here's the thing - If YOU are the victim of this insidious modern tactic of "gaslighting", when somebody is playing with your mind, maybe trying to convince you that you're going crazy, would you be said to be being "gaslighted" (as our group thinks), or is it more correct to use the arguably simpler form, "gaslit"?

I think we should be told, don't you!!!

What madness, though, isn't it !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday January 15th 2026 "Don't you just hate people taking your picture when you're having a "bad-hair day" !!!

Yes, Friends, don't you just hate it when you're having a "bad-hair day", and somebody asks you to smile and the quickly takes your picture?!

It's the pits isn't it! And yet it happened yesterday to, like, a billion people - more probably! But, having said that, the story was all over this morning's Onion News, so you probably know about it already. Am I right? Or am I right haha !!!!!  

However, in case you missed it..... (!)

Poor "bunny-ears" guy !!!!!

The story, however, brings a bit of an inscrutable, or at least not obviously "scrutable" (!), typically wistful, oriental smile to the mouths of my wife Lois and me, here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, this morning, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

The reason? Well, when our 50-year-old grown-up daughter Alison stops by to chat with us this morning, she brings the good news that her 15-year-old son Isaac, a Mandarin Chinese "major", is not now going to spend the next 2 years in China studying for his A-levels. He'll be continuing his studies instead at his current comprehensive school, here in Liphook, which is nice. 

He says he's got a good life here in England, so why jeopardise that for an uncertain future in a,  frankly slightly weird country, thousands of miles away. He loves his school here in Liphook, has lots of good friends, and his boy-girl rock band is making local waves with their [modern "happening" pop group] "Orphans"-style music, trademark song "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)". 

You know it makes sense haha!!! [Not to me! - Ed]

(left) our daughter Alison (50) who drops round to chat with us this morning, and 

who (right) gives us the glad news that her son Isaac (rightmost), a vocalist seen here with 

his rock band, has decided not to study for his A-levels in China, which is a relief, to put it mildly!!!! 

Both Ali's daughters, Josie (19), who's on her first year at Durham, and Rosalind (17) who's going to start university possibly at Bath, Somerset this autumn, will be away a lot of the time for the next couple of years. So it'll be nice for Ali to have at least one of her three offspring around, as well as her two dogs, two cats, and tropical fish, not to mention husband Edward (!).

Aside from all that, it's such a joy for Lois and me whenever Ali calls round - she's such a bubbly personality and it's otherwise a bit of a dull day here in Liphook, with virtually non-stop rain, so we can't go out.

What madness !!!!

What a crazy country we live in !!!!

And it seems no time at all since my own dear parents were still alive, and I was still working, but I used to pop in and see them early every Saturday and Sunday morning, to try and sort out any health or household issues they had. I used to keep a big diary in which I noted all their problems down, so I could refer back to my "notes" until the problems were solved and I could cross that particular item off. 

My old dad used to have his armchair side-table with his remote controls etc on his right, and the dictionaries for his crosswords, and tissues etc on his left, and my mum used to have a little wheeled trolley in front of her with everything she needed to maximise her comfort. The TV was permanently on Ceefax for the news flashes. And all her walls and shelves, and every cranny of her room, were full of photos and other souvenirs from her childhood onwards.

What madness, wasn't it !!!! But I miss those days, that's for sure!

(left) flashback to the 1990's - my dear old dad in his favourite armchair, 

and (right) flashback to 2009: I visit my dear old mum with daughter Sarah (31) 

and her future husband Francis, who are now living in Perth, Australia.

What crazy times!!!!

Still, at least Lois and I, now in our own old age, are doing what we can for ourselves, keeping our brains active etc. We've got an online meeting this afternoon with the local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" Group, which we run "for our sins" (!).

This afternoon's meeting goes well, and, from the current Danish "whodunnit" murder-mystery novel that we're all reading together currently, we learn how to offer somebody a drink in Danish, which could be useful you never know!

And if your Intermediate Danish is a bit rusty (!), here's the English!

["May I offer you a drink, Herr Ostenfeldt?" He grabbed Osten[feldt]'s glass and sniffed at it, before the other [man] could manage to protest. "Whisky?", he said and put the glass aside with a smile." I'm on it! A double, is it?"]

What a nice man!!!

But there's a serious point here also, isn't there. Could this "May I offer you a drink" gambit work for Danish Foreign Minister Lars Lokke Rasmussen, when he's talking to Donald Trump about his plans for Greenland?

I wonder..... !!!

flashback to 2014: Lars Lokke Rasmussen, seen here in happier times, on the election

trail in Copenhagen, stops to say hello to Lois and me, sitting at a table outside 

a cafe, until he realises we haven't got a vote, and he moves swiftly on (!)

There's a bit of an embarrassing moment during our Intermediate Danish online group meeting this afternoon, however, when the female "old codgers" in our group start complimenting me on my (new-to-newish), apparently "sexy", red knitted sweater. 

Luckily, Lois is able to deftly diffuse this potentially sexually-charged exchange, by brushing some of the crumbs off the sweater, crumbs from the piece of Christmas cake I had been eating just before the class started. So it all passed off peacefully, without further incident to report!

But how we laughed, later, when it was all over !!!!!

Fast forward to this evening: I showcase my "sexy" new-to-newish

red sweater, with the Christmas cake crumbs tastefully removed (!)

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday January 14th 2026 "Multi-tasking eh! To women it's easy, but most men seem to struggle, don't they !!!!"

Multitasking, eh! Most women say it comes naturally to them, and yet men often struggle, which is weird! 

Not so, however, with local man Pete Gosling, according to this morning's Onion News!

Poor Gosling!!!!

And reading Gosling's story this morning brings a peculiarly warped, multi-sardonic smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, because we're doing lots of multi-tasking ourselves this week, despite having been retired for almost 20 years, would you believe!!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

It's one of those weeks that we dread - when something happens in the universe at large, maybe Jupiter aligns with Mars, or some such freak event (!), and the multiple U3A "Old Codger" groups that we manage - "for our sins" (!) - all turn out to be holding online meetings almost simultaneously, would you believe!!!.

And quite suddenly, we find that our his-and-hers "diaries" are bulging with pre-meeting meetings and sheer multiple hard work and "old codger networking" - yikes !!!! Busy, busy, busy !!!

Take this week, for example - tomorrow Thursday Lois and I have got an online meeting of our local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group that we manage, and then on Friday, there's a meeting of my local U3A "Intermediate History of English for Old Codgers" group, when I've been "nobbled" to give a short mini-presentation on the English language's most interesting "fruit" words. 

What madness, isn't it !!!

Make sure you're sitting down before you see this next picture, which is of my personal calendar for January - as you can see, there's something on, literally, almost every day!!!!

It's sheer madness, I tell you!!!!

Lois and I are actually thinking of asking for our old jobs back, so we can get a bit of well-earned peace and quiet in our old age!!!!

flashback to 1980: lazy days - me on my first business trip abroad, finding plenty of time

to sample the world's best custard, at a shop in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia

Happy times !!!!

Unfortunately, all that idleness is just history for Lois and me today, however, which is a pity!!! 

[Exactly who do you think you're kidding, Colin, on this one! - Ed]

No, it's all 100% genuine, I tell you! Even our daily walk, which this morning takes us over Old Man Lowsley's Farm, now a nature reserve, just outside Liphook, turns into a nightmare of frantic multi-tasking, as we inspect the health of the newly planted saplings, check the water levels in the local mini-reservoirs, and record what birds are around etc etc!!!

You can see what a complete mayhem it is by the stressed look on our normally sweet little faces in the photographs we have taken for our eventual "report", but, again, make sure you're sitting down before you look at these!!! You have been warned !!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

21:00 Finally the pace slows and Lois and I at last get a chance to put our feet up and relax with a bit of "telly" on the couch, which is a relief, to put it mildly !!!

At last we can have the luxury of watching other people "working their socks off", which is nice!

Yes, it's Professor Alice Roberts, with her, to Lois and me highly anticipated annual review of archaeological digs across the country. And tonight she's in South East England, in East Anglia. It's been described as Britain's biggest ever excavation, covering a huge area of the county of Suffolk, an excavation which is being carried out in tandem with the planned construction of Sizewell C, a new nuclear power station.

My only criticism would be that there are just too many finds coming out of the Sizewell C dig - it's a huge area that's being researched, so the archaeological team are "hoovering up" finds from a massive range of historical periods all at once - calling for multi-tasking skills of the highest order, in our humble opinion (!).

too many finds - that's the problem at the Sizewell C site in Suffolk

- what madness, isn't it !!!!

As would be expected in Suffolk, there are numerous finds being made from the Stone Age, the Bronze Age and the Iron Age, not to mention all the Anglo-Saxon finds from the 5th century onwards: after all, this region of East Anglia is one of the key regions where the Anglo-Saxons first settled in Britain, so no surprise there. 

Those archaeologists must be literally "stepping on something valuable" everywhere they walk!

Interestingly there are even finds from the era before any "proper people" lived in Britain, way back 40,000 years ago, when there were only Neanderthals to be found. And also, at the other end of the scale, there are finds from what could almost be called "living memory".

In the "finds tent", presenter Alice Roberts is shown a 40,000 year old hand axe:

At the other end of the scale, there are also finds from the World War II era, like a beer bottle with some beer still in it - what madness (again) !!!!

Plus, a pocket compass has been dug up, dropped by an airman, in all probability, somebody serving at one of the many air force bases in Suffolk, and in East Anglia generally:

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

[If you say so! - Ed]

History eh! Who would want to study anything else, that's what Lois and I say!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!