Friday April 3rd 2026 "Have YOU tried standing up at YOUR workplace? The results are amazing, says a new study !!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU tried one of those new 'standing desks' at YOUR workplace? The results are amazing, according to a new study, and so much effective than a conventional workout, that's for sure!

Onion News has more....

Worth considering isn't it!

And reading the study's results here in semi-rural, over-leafy Liphook, Hampshire this morning brings a quiet chuckle to the faces of me and of Lois, my wife of 54 years, as we take our near-daily walk over the "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes Liphook United, to put it mildly!

flashback to this morning: my wife Lois and I take our near-daily walk,

which today takes us over the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes Liphook United,

with (right) Lois testing me on the names of flowers: 'bluebells' in this case - easy peasy!!

Let me put my cards on the table at this point! [I wish you wouldn't keep doing that, Colin! - Ed]

Lois and I have actually been retired for 20 years, so we're pleasantly immune from 'workplace fads and fancies' (!), although in fact we've busier than we've ever been, would you believe! "How did we ever find the time to go to work back in the day?", has become almost our daily mantra, which is mad!!

The fact is, however, that, even after 20 years, we still haven't established a fixed daily workout routine, although we're more than willing to watch younger people doing theirs, whether it's in the football club carpark with a fitness trainer, or just a young couple practising their "moves" on the deserted pitch - see pictures below, if you want 'chapter and verse' !!!

during our near-daily walk today, my wife Lois and I somehow find time to watch some of

the younger folks 'pumping iron' (and other things!) in the car-park and on the deserted pitch

I don't think that any records for fitness or endurance are being broken today, but I'm proud to note that the local birds have stepped up to produce a tally of the most different birdsongs - twelve, would you believe! - that Lois and I have ever heard on this football field, since our records began 15 months ago, which is a nice achievement for us - and another PB (personal best), no question about that ! 

[You lazy so-and-so's, Colin ! - Ed]

14:00 Phew - quite a tiring morning of us, that's for sure! And, "gluttons for punishment" (!), after lunch, we even postpone our afternoon in bed to watch some more people doing workouts in a fascinating programme from the "Just One Thing Team" (Roman Kemp, Zoe Ball and Clive Myrie) about so-called "easy exercise", "eccentric" exercise, or "reverse-moves exercising", which is nice.

Who knew that it's better training for your muscles to walk downstairs than to walk upstairs? Or that it's better to exercise by sitting yourself down than by standing up? And lowering your weights is better than lifting them up, crazily! 

The key is to do it all slowly, apparently, and, because you don't get out of breath, you can do it for longer. And not only that, but, afterwards, the body somehow 'repairs' your tired muscles by making them stronger - it's totally mad, isn't it! 

And doing this kind of lower-intensity workout is not just making your muscles stronger, but also improving your bone density thus reducing your risk of fractures, and at the same time somehow managing to lower your blood-sugar levels. 

Also, it's good to 'lunge' whenever you can, e.g. when you're stooping to send a bowling ball down the alley to knock over some skittles. Or when on your feet, to just raise your heels, and then putting them down again really really slowly. Or standing and pushing against a wall, that's another one!!!! What madness, isn't it !!!!

And to do these exercises, you don't need to get a gym membership and you can even wear your normal clothes! You just have to remember not to overdo it - to start slowly, vary the muscles you're working on, and to build your 'workout' up gradually, over the weeks and months.

16:00 Phew! Lois and I feel quite exhausted after watching all these youngsters - and even the "old codgers" on that TV programme (!) - all doing their workouts, even the so-called "easy" ones!!!!

So, after we get out of bed (!), it's nice to indulge ourselves on the couch with some special Easter hot cross buns that Lois somehow found time to make earlier today - kudos, Lois !!!!!

(above) flashback to this morning: Lois makes some hot cross buns for Easter,

and (below, right) me sampling one of those buns on the couch this afternoon - yum yum!

Lois also somehow finds time to distribute chocolate Easter bunnies to all seven kids in our little cul-de-sac, and later we get a very sweet and very appreciative, home-made Easter card from little Iris next door, which is nice!

[And when are YOU going to get off your backside and do something, Colin?! Just saying!!! - Ed]

(above, left) Lois delivering two chocolate Easter bunnies to mum-of-two Rachel 

across the street, and (below) the sweet home-made card from little Iris next door

Awwwww, bless !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday April 2nd 2026 "Paying tax - we all hate it don't we! Especially the rich guys amongst us!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU hate paying tax? It's a common complaint, isn't it, and no more so than if you're a billionaire - it seems to annoy billionaires more than it does the average person, for some weird reason!!!!

Onion News has more....

Poor Californian billionaires!!!!! And 'poor' is something those guys not used to being called, that's for sure!

Reading the Onion story this morning, however, here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, brings a smug smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, to put it mildly! 

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're not poor, but we're also not rich, I have to confess, and not even "well to do"! 

I'm so "unwell-to-do", in fact, that I didn't even know what a gilet (pronounced jee-lay) was, until I looked it up, although I'd heard other people using the word and I had begun to feel uneasy about it. Here's chapter and verse (!):

What madness!!! And, just to be sure, I checked my wardrobe and there's not a "gilet" to be seen, so I'm definitely not a tech billionaire, which comes as something of a relief, to put it mildly!!!!

And although I'm not in any danger of having to pay any fancy, new-fangled "gilet tax", I still have to pay road tax on our 14-year-old Honda Jazz, which is a pity! And this morning, by coincidence, I spend a couple of hours waiting for the tax people in Swansea to ring me back to confirm that my road tax has in fact been paid up till April 2027, despite a confusing email I got from them recently. What madness, again!!!

my wife Lois beginning to drape herself over our 14-year-old Honda Jazz,

for which I'm seemingly still required to pay road tax - what madness, isn't it!!!!

My call to Swansea is eventually answered by a nice woman, who confirms that my road tax payment has gone through as I had believed, and you can see the relief on mine and Lois's two faces (yes - we've got one each: call us conventional if you like haha!!!), as we later "get down and dirty" in our tiny vegetable beds, doing a spot of weeding and general maintenance, which is nice!

Hoe hoe hoe! Lois and me this morning, doing some general

weeding and garden maintenance and "getting down and dirty"

in our tiny vegetable beds - what madness!!!!

14:00 And after a hurried lunch, I think we've earned our afternoon in bed, for statutory nap-time, but being a bit self-indulgent perhaps, not getting up till 5pm for a cup of tea and a slice of my 80th birthday cake from last week - yes, I turned 80 last week, and Lois will be doing it too in a couple of months, which is totally mad!!!!

flashback to last week: Lois lights the candles on my 80th birthday cake,

ably assisted by our daughter Alison and her 3 teenage offspring:

Josie (19), Rosalind (17) and Isaac (15) - what madness !!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

As part of the celebrations for my birthday, Alison and the kids, plus Alison's husband Edward, later treated Lois and me to a slap-up meal at a Thai restaurant in nearby Haslemere, Surrey, during which Edward pulled out his phone and managed to get some AI bot-friend-of-his (!) to compose, and perform, an impromptu song in my honour, in the style of Elton John, no less, which delighted not just us, but also the restaurant's other customers, to put it mildly!

flashback to last week: our daughter Alison and husband Edward and family

treat Lois and me to a Thai meal in Haslemere, Surrey, during which I'm 

regaled by an AI-generated song in my honour, which is nice!

And you can hear the bot's song, "Lemongrass and Lime" for yourself, if you click on this link, which is handy!

Lyrics:

Rain is tapping steady, on a street in [semi-]leafy Surrey

But inside there's no pressure, and there's no need to hurry,

The scent of lemongrass and lime is floating through the air,

A table set for family, and Poppa's in his chair.

'Happy birthday Poppa, eighty years of being true,

From the Surrey hills to Bangkok's skies, we're celebrating you!'

And when you're singing those last two lines, don't forget to get your "Poppa" scarf out and hold it high above your head, waving it from side to side, to get the full effect haha!!!!

At the time, I thought this was pretty ground-breaking, and I was right, it seems! Because I see that the trend for AI-generated songs has now quickly begun to take rapid hold, according to news today from Steve, our American brother-in-law, citing this shock story from news website breitbart.com, no less!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday April 1st 2026 "Are YOU a fan of TV dramas? Don't they just drive you totally nuts?!!!!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU a fan of TV dramas? Have they taken over your life?!!!!

We can't live with them, can't live without them, can we !!!! And it's hard to those miss those heart-stopping "season finales",  if you want to live a really fulfilling life, that is - haha!!!!

Onion News has more......

Ooh - spooky !!!!!

And reading this story this morning here in leafy, semi-translucent Liphook, Hampshire brings a sympathetic smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, as we 'toil' for another half-morning of gardening this week - the second such morning this week, would you believe, which is mad!!!!

my wife Lois and me this morning, toiling for the second half-morning this week,

(above) me mowing and Lois weeding under the front window, and (below)

Lois talking me through the finer points of her work today, which is nice!

"Black gardens, black gardens" - that confounded TV series is all some people talk about (!), and Lois and I have thought of writing to the BBC and suggesting a series called "Messy gardens" which, we think, could steal some of the viewers back from Netflix or whatever. 

Nobody at "the Beeb" has taken up our suggestion as yet, but watch this space!!!!

[I'm not holding my breath on that one! - Ed]

It's been a bit of a week of toil all round this week for Lois and me, but there have also been some more pleasurable moments - it was nice to get a video call from my little sister Jill in Ipswich this week and hear about her travel plans and about the doings of our three nieces, Zoe, Maria and Lucy, with Lucy fine-tuning the arrangements for her wedding in the autumn. 

my 'little sister' Jill (68) with her three daughters Zoe, Maria and Lucy

Lois and I are planning to visit Jill in May and sample the delights of Ipswich for ourselves, and Jill is now promising us a side-trip to Norwich, a city which Lois and I have driven through, but without stopping - wisely, some would say (only joking!!!!!).

To us, Norwich is mainly famous for its local radio DJ Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan). And also famous for Partridge's heart-warming TV series where Partridge and a group of volunteers visit a local resident with mental-health issues, Gillian, and, make a start on "decluttering" her troubled mind, by "decluttering" her house and garden. 

Radio Norwich DJ Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan)

And all this good work is, of course, done in Gillian's absence (!) - to give her a nice surprise on her return. Remember that series? In this case Gillian is away on a coach trip, and neighbours have lent Partridge, and his team, a spare key, so that they can do their generous work in total confidentiality, which is a nice touch!

As I remember, Partridge and his team had to work pretty fast - it was just a two-day, 48 hour coach trip 'getaway', so no time to lose, to put it mildly !!!

And the results were certainly impressive, as I remember. Just check out these astonishing 'before' and 'after' pictures!

Before (left)...and after (right)!!!

And what a lovely surprise was awaiting Gillian on her return from that weekend coach holiday break!!!

Fabulous television, wasn't it! And one thing's for sure - they don't make series like that any more do they!!! [Something to be thankful for there, possibly? - Ed]

21:00 You probably noticed that a key element in Partridge's team of volunteers for doing up that house in Norwich was that gang of warm-hearted painters, who, for no charge, stripped off all that woman's horrible old wallpaper, replacing it with a simple white finish.

And, by coincidence tonight, Lois and I select a documentary about an oldy-worldy painter from the past, a whole different era! You may have heard of him - step forward Italian painter, Sandro Botticelli, creator of 'The Birth of Venus', no less !!!!

The programme proves to be a fascinating study of Botticelli's ground-breaking painting, The Birth of Venus, featuring the goddess rising out of the waters, and the programme's experts point out many things that Lois and I either didn't know or hadn't noticed, about the painting, which is nice!

Venus's nudity was immediately shocking to Botticelli's 16th century contemporaries, but for a slightly peculiar reason - it was shocking because it wasn't a religious painting. Weirdly, nudity was okay if you were painting something religious - Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, for example, but not okay otherwise, which is mad!

nudity was considered okay in paintings, but only if they were religious ones, 

which is mad! See above - Albrecht Durer's painting "Adam and Eve" (1507)

But how anatomically correct were Botticelli's nude figures? Critics have pointed to Venus's weirdly out of proportion left shoulder and arm, also criticising anomalies on the nymph, who, with her current "squeeze", seems to be doing a 'fly-by' around Venus, to get a closer look - that nymph's legs look as if they belong to somebody else, which is mad too!

(left) Venus, her left shoulder and arm slightly out of proportion,

and (right) a nymph with legs that seem to belong to somebody else

- what madness !!!!!

Certainly, Venus's nudity isn't exactly innocent, the programme's experts tell us, but it isn't exactly erotic either. It's about sex, yes, but specifically sex for procreation. Venus is coming up on the island to procreate, and Botticelli has deliberately given Venus what, at the time, was thought to be the ideal female body for procreation. 

Despite the somewhat lack of proportionality to Venus's left shoulder and arm, which conveniently allows her to cover her crotch without too much of a strain (!), Botticelli's Venus's body was the perfect body to impregnate, according to the views of the time - neither too thin nor too fat, and with long arms and legs. And the 16th century orthodoxy said also that the woman to be impregnated should ideally have long hair, and, for best results, also plucked eyebrows, would you believe - what madness, wasn't it!!!! 

That's taking the apparent "checklist" too far, we think!

What a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off days!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!