Thursday November 12th 2026 "Friends, are YOUR shoes looking a bit 'down at heel'? No pun intended!!!!"

Yes, Friends, have you looked at YOUR shoes lately? You can be sure that others have been looking at them, particularly if they're not too introverted! You know what they say - "introverts" look down at their own shoes when they're talking to you, whilst "recovering introverts" look down at the person they're talking to's shoes, which makes for a handy, instant, psychological character diagnostic if ever you need one haha!!!

Luckily, with the weather suddenly becoming more wintery, the shops are all full of hard-wearing shoes, which is fortunate! And popular tabloid Onion News, which always "has its finger on the pulse", is keeping itself up-to-date with all the "Shoes News That's Fit To Print".

Turn to their popular "Doozy Shoozy Newsy Stories" section on page 94 !!!!

Whatever next! 

It's all quite mad, isn't it, but these stories - and others in the same vein - bring the tiniest hint of a smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois today, here in semi-conductive Liphook, Hampshire - that's for sure!!!

"Do have some cake!" - me and my wife Lois: a recent picture

And it's all topical for us, because shoes are very much on our minds this week, would you believe!

We recently decided to join the local U3A group, "Intermediate Strolling for Old Codgers", and the first meeting of the 2026-2027 season is tomorrow (Friday). However, I realise today that I haven't got any "strolling shoes". 

What an idiot !!!!!

Hence our decision today to drive to fashionable menswear shop David's, just over the county line in Haslemere, Surrey, and hopefully find a nice pair to strap on for tomorrow's stroll. People are always suggesting to me to "strap on a pair, Colin", and I'm not sure what that means, but maybe it's time to "go with the flow" on this one, maybe? 

But your views welcome - (postcards only) !!!!

The assistant assured me that the shoes are quite suitable for hard-core "intermediate strolling", so my plan is to "walk them in" a little when we get home, or should I say "stroll them in" [No! - Ed]. Obviously I want to impress our fellow U3A "Old Codger" strollers tomorrow, on mine and Lois's first "outing" with the group: advertised as a short stroll over Shortheath Common finishing up with a pub lunch at "The Hangar", so what's not to like  haha!!!! 

(left) peaceful Shortheath Common, and (right) local pub "The Hanger"

Yes, Shortheath Common looks peaceful today, but it's not far from the old Roman Road between Chichester, Sussex and Silchester, Hampshire - see the dotted line on the map below, where the Roman centurions used to tramp (not stroll!!!) with their legions, if you don't believe me!!!

(left) map of the Oakhanger area of Hampshire, showing Shortheath Common, and 

with dotted line indicating the route of the Roman Road from Chichester to Silchester, and (right)

typical Roman soldiers tramping (not strolling (!)) over the local heaths and moors

When our little group tomorrow has had enough strolling, we're all booked in for lunch at nearby pub "The Hanger". And the stroller club rules specify that if you're feeling tired or "out of sorts", you can skip the stroll and just do "the lunch bit". 

However, for Lois and me, tomorrow is our debut in the group, so we don't want to look like "a couple of right 'Jessies' ", as some of our neighbours in Liphook have styled us, would you believe, so we're going to do the 'stroll' as well, which is mad! 

Next month perhaps haha!

At the lunch we've both signed up for the "chipolatas bacon and onions" option, if you're curious!!!

[You don't say! - Ed]

some of the pub's typical promotions: Lois and I have booked for the

chipolatas, bacon and onion option if you're interested [not shown, sadly!!!] !!!!

On 'the stroll bit' tomorrow, however, I very much want to look like a "pro", and I think about asking Lois to cake a bit of mud, or even brown paint (!) on my shiny new "strolling shoes" tonight, but I suspect she'll be too busy! 

Yes, this chilly but sunny Thursday, for us, is another non-stop day for us, again - just look at the photos, if you don't believe me!!! A coffee and pain au chocolat at Darnley's, Haslemere, after I buy my "strollers", plus a trip out to our local Co-op mini-supermarket, and a session at our local doctor's surgery as Lois has been booked in for a blood test - see the pictures below! Not to mention a couple of hours in bed for "statutory nap-time" (not shown!).

our frantic day today - a coffee and pain au chocolat in Darnleys,

a trip to the local Co-op mini-supermarket, afternoon nap [not shown],

somehow finding time to get Lois to the local NHS surgery for a blood test

- what madness !!!!

Busy, busy, busy!

What a crazy world we live in !!!

And on top of all that hectic "rushing-around", we've got an absolutely enormous list of TV programmes we've got to watch tonight - you would not BELIEVE!!!! Here are just some of "what we've got to cope with", as Lois's dear late dad Dennis used to put it !!!

Luckily, most of the programmes will help us with the current projects that Lois and I have secretly been working on: (1) "The Future with Hannah Fry", talking about the so-called "Quantum Arms Race" between the US and China, and (2) "AI - Probably Nothing to Worry About (!)", with Geoffrey Hinton.

By coincidence, Lois and I have been working hard on these two very issues, i.e. quantum computers and AI.  And, what's more, our results are due to be published shortly, so watch this space!!!!

[I don't think I'll bother! - Ed]

And the maddest part of it is that Lois and I have both been retired for 20 years - how did we ever find the time to go to work, back in the day!

[You lazy so-and-so's, Colin! - Ed]

flashback to March 2026: my 60th birthday and also the day we both retired

- little did we know the madness we'd shortly be getting into!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday November 11th 2026 "Our legs, eh! Like 'em or not, at least they're keeping us 'grounded' - no pun intended!!!"

Yes, Friends, our legs - they're wonderful things, although some people's legs are better than other people's legs, that's for sure!

But how nice to see Onion News "plopping" through our letterbox this morning, with its new "Leg News Colour Supplement", which will be free from now on, and published every Wednesday - see page 94 !!!!

And unlike some of their other recent ventures in supplements, all of which have 'died the death' after just one edition, which is sad (!),  I think this particular Colour Supplement really "has legs" - in more ways than one (no pun intended!!!), and if you don't believe me, just feast your eyes on these "doozies", which I've taken straight from the supplement's inaugural issue, would you believe, which is mad!!!!

It's almost a bit 'too much leg', isn't it, if that's possible!!! But these stories - and others, bring a cheeky smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois today, here in semi-rural Liphook, Hampshire - no question about that!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

However, you know what Lois and I are like! As do our neighbours, I'm afraid to say!!!!

"Give them an inch and they'll take a mile", as our country-bumpkin neighbours here in Liphook say about us, which is mad!

But there may be some truth in that particular local "old chestnut", because Lois and I are already thinking of writing to the people at Onion News to ask for a special "Foot News Supplement" to the "Leg News Supplement", which is a bit cheeky perhaps - what do you think? Why not tell us - postcards only, as always!!!!

Having said that, however, we're always a couple quick to "root for the underdog", and we feel that feet are very much the underdog of the leg world, and indeed, that the humble toe is very much the underdog of the foot world.

So why not a special "Toe News" supplement to the "Foot News Supplement"? 

I wonder....!

Again, your views welcome, if "your views" reach down as far as your toes, that is, which is always 'a bit of a stretch' perhaps !!!! And remember, this delightful 'pictorial' postcard (see below) is still available from all branches of WH Smiths that haven't been taken over by Modella Capital, owners of The Original Factory Shop, or branches that haven't been "rebranded" as a TG Jones - just saying!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!

(left) a typical "un-rebranded" WH Smith's and (right) a vintage

"Liphook Agrees With Me" postcard - what madness!!!!

[Get on with it! - Ed]

10:00 And certainly, when it comes to toes, as Lois and I say, nothing says you're old like having to pay somebody to cut your toe nails for you (!), and today is our bi-monthly encounter with our "toes-woman", a.k.a. a lovely local woman Julie from Age Concern, who, as she trims our "talons" (!) and creams our feet, simultaneously "talks the hind leg of a donkey" - another item for the "Leg News" Supplement perhaps (!)

And after that, Lois and I have a lunch date at Liphook's flagship coffee-shop "The Moon And Cous", with our daughter Alison and her daughter Rosalind (18), who's just started a degree course in Politics International Relations at UCL London, with a minor in Danish, and a study year in Denmark to look forward to - so what's not to like! 

UCL London, with [inset] our 18-year-old granddaughter

Rosalind, who's just started a degree course there 

in Politics and International Relations (plus Danish!) Go Rosalind!!!

Rosalind has a massive reading list associated with her course, and this week, she's seizing the opportunity to take a break from the crazy London world to really concentrate on her reading work, for the College's official "reading week", but to do it here in the semi-calm of the Hampshire countryside - the young scamp!!!

For Lois another busy morning: (above) having our "talons" trimmed by local woman 

Julie from Age Concern Hampshire, and (below) a delightful lunch date with 

our daughter Alison and her daughter Rosalind, who's home for a so-called

"reading week", supposedly (!)  - the young scamp !!!!!

But for Lois and me the bottom line is "busy busy busy!!!" yet again, which is mad! No wonder our neighbours have dubbed us "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple" - the type of "moniker" that speaks for itself, we feel !!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

18:30 Evening falls, and at last Lois and I have a chance to "put our feet up" on the couch, and admire the trim of each other's toenails, thanks to our "toes woman" Julie, who has a special deal for couples, which is nice!

And Julie complemented Lois again this morning, saying that she's "got such lovely skin on her feet", and I always wait to see is Julie says the same to me, when she "does me", but so far nothing, which I feel is a bit unfair.

Tomorrow I'll include a photo of my toes here in this blog, so you can judge for yourselves!!!

[Please don't, Colin ! - Ed]

20:00 We get ready for bed by listening to a recent BBC Radio 4 edition of "Heresies", the series that challenges modern myths, presented, as always, by Victoria Coren-Mitchell, with a panel of pundits: artist Sir Grayson Perry, plus UK comedian Ben Elton and US comedienne Desiree Burch.

But it's presenter Victoria herself who particularly warms the cockles of our hearts tonight with her spirited attack on cultural snobbishness, and I quote!

"Open your minds, as we always say on 'Heresy'! 

"Popularity is not the opposite of greatness. Dolly Parton is as brilliant as Mozart! Morecambe and Wise are as good as Shakespeare!

"And at the end of the day I like to think I'm an intellectual, but when I'm in bed, I will happily settle down to a bit of Mission Impossible, Fast & Furious, Garden Rescue, Squid Game, and at least 4 or 5 other euphemisms for sex!"

Well said, that woman! 

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!

Tuesday November 10th 2026 "Violins, Cellos etc - They Can Really Pluck At Your Heartstrings! And no pun intended!!!"

Yes, Friends, those soulful violins,  cellos, guitars etc, they really speak to our heartstrings, don't they! But what our heartstrings say back to them isn't recorded, at least not on any CD I've heard so far, to put it mildly !!!!

And at last - and not before time! - popular tabloid Onion News has introduced its long-awaited "Your Strings Tonight" Weekly Colour  Supplement today, complete with some brilliant photos from one of their hard-working cameramen, which is a nice touch!

Just look at today's "doozies" !!!!

It's all a bit "over the top and round the sides (and back!)", if I'm honest! But the stories bring the briefest hint of a smirk to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in semi-supercalifragilistic Liphook, Hampshire - no question-marks over that !!!

me and my wife Lois this lunchtime in a church just over the

county line, in nearby Haslemere, Surrey

"But why are you two 'noggins' sitting in at church, and at lunchtime, of all things, Colin?!", I hear you cry!

And there's a simple answer - we're here for the first in Haslemere's St Christopher's Church's new 2026-2027 series of lunchtime concerts, which is mad! But 'needs must' so we just grab a quick sandwich at home before zooming over to Haslemere, and luckily we get to the church early, in time to fight our way through a huge party of other "old codgers" and also crowds of local schoolchildren, somehow managing to get ourselves a couple of sought-after aisle seats, which is nice!

The nice church-member-lady who shows us to our seats reveals to us the simple seating plan - "old codgers" to the left, schoolkids to the right - which simplifies things enormously and is a great relief!

And my aisle seat will also give my long legs somewhere to go - i.e. stick themselves out into the generous aisle without necessarily tripping up the vicar or anybody else, which makes a pleasant change! Nothing puts "the mockers" on a church concert like the vicar being taken away in an ambulance, Lois and I always say!!!

Also, we're in plenty of time to peruse the programme, and so become a bit familiar with the chief players and try to remember what their instruments are, and their backgrounds, and also satisfy ourselves that they're qualified to be here today.

To be blunt, Lois and I don't want any what-we-call "Les Dawsons". 

Dear old Les, dubbed "Barnsley's Answer to Andre Previn", was known for his notoriously poor, 100% untutored, piano-skills, to put it mildly!!

flashback to the 1990's - classically untrained" pianist Les Dawson,

styled "Barnsley's answer to Andre Previn" - what madness, wasn't it!!!

Luckily, however, today's soloists seem to pass even mine and Lois's vigorous tests, which is encouraging! 

Guitarist Jenny Janse, according to our programme, read music at Cambridge and has performed and recorded across Europe with her ensemble, "The Musicke Companye". And cellist Fiona Harrison graduated from the Royal College of Music, has a Masters degree in music from Yale, and has performed in ensemble at The Barbican Centre and the London Purcell Room. 

(left) today's cello soloist Jenny Janse (Cambridge and Royal Academy of Music)

with today's guitar soloist Fiona Harrison (Royal College of Music, and Yale)

To sum up, today's two soloists seem eminently qualified, and so, after discussion, Lois and I decide to let the concert go ahead!

[That's big of you, Colin! - Ed]

And all in all, it's a lovely concert, too, with music to soothe our shattered nerves (!), and finishing with a bit of an oddity - Ravel's drinking song "Chanson a Boire", which is punctuated by some weird "musical hiccups", from Jenny - not from her tummy (!!!!), but from her cello, being played pizzicato-style, which is mad!

(left) French composer Maurice Ravel (1875 - 1937), who wrote today's famous "Drinking Song" 

(French: Chanson a Boire); and (right) a typical 18th century drinking scene

of the kind his 1930's song seeks to channel (!)

And after all this is  a lunchtime concert, and, for the slightly younger "old codgers" in the audience, there's probably just time, after the concert, to pop into the pub for "a quick one", or a "swift half" before going back to the office, so fair enough! 

Ravel would have been proud of them haha!!!!

(left) Lois, seated with me in the "Old Codgers" section of the room, and (right)

today's cello soloist Fiona Harrison, who can make her cello hiccup, which is weird!

However, whether we reject sobriety or not (!), Lois and I certainly don't have time, after the concert, to pop into a pub for a "swift half", because we have an important appointment in bed for "statutory nap-time", so "needs must" haha!!!!

But what a crazy world we live in!!!

21:00 And there's more craziness tonight, when we settle down on the sofa to see the second programme in the new 2026-2027 season of the comedy panel game series "QI", which has now got through most of the English alphabet, reaching the letter 'X', would you believe! 

And, for presenter and X-Scandinavian Sandi Toksvig and her 4 experts, trying to find words in the dictionary that begin with the letter 'X', to do their research on, is getting increasingly difficult to put it mildly!!!

Luckily there's an old word for 'charcoal', which is "xyloanthrax".

And talking of "xyloanthrax"... (as you do!).... who knew that charcoal beetles like to mate during forest fires? 

X-Scandinavian presenter Sandi Toksvig has more....

And just why do they wait for forest fires before they 'do it' ? Well, you see it's because the charcoal beetles know that, in a fire, their main predators will have already either (a) run away from the fire, or (b) burned to death, which makes a kind of weird sense to Lois and me!

But wait - there's more! And this is the really weird, "science bit".....! 

You see, charcoal beetles have a sort of incredibly sensitive "armpit" - more precisely the area behind the "middle pair" of their 3 pairs of legs - a part of their anatomy which can sense fires burning from 130km away (about 80 miles), which is crazy!!!!

And yes, charcoal beetles literally can't mate, or lay their eggs, unless there's a big fire going on.

And it they're in London, they can detect fires as far away as Swindon (for example!) because of their "armpits". 

designated "London to Swindon: best route for charcoal beetles" - M25 and M4 (if available!) !

You see, these beetles' tiny armpits contain dozens of tiny water-pockets, which expand when they sense heat, and then push against a "receptor". And the difference in how much the water expands on one side of their body compared to the other side of their body, also tells them the direction of the flames.

See? Simples!!!!

What madness, isn't it !!!!

And what Lois and I say, is "What a good thing people don't have to do that, flying and flapping their arms about, if they start feeling romantic (!), which is a blessing! 

Especially if you then had to go to Swindon to do it (!). We've got nothing against Swindon, particularly, but, it's known principally for its large number of roundabouts, so isn't really the UK's most romantic town, is it, to put it mildly!!!!

And - historical fun fact (!) - charcoal beetles used to regularly swarm at 1940's American Football games, and not because of the grills or barbecues out in the car parks. It was simply because of the spectators' cigarette smoke, in those far-off crazy times, which was mad!

Also, another, more up-to-date, fun-fact (!) - firefighters in California often wear 'bee veils' to protect themselves, because the charcoal beetles can be very territorial, and when the fire-fighters arrive to put out a forest fire, the beetles start to bite them.

You couldn't make it up, could you! But at the end of this section of the show, presenter Sandi delights the studio audience with her own, charming impression of those little beetles - the young scamps!!!

But what a crazy world we live in!!! 

[You've done that one already today! Just saying! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!