Friday July 31st 2026 "Have YOU ever found you're missing an ingredient or two, when it comes to a vital 'bake-off' ???"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever had trouble finding that vital last ingredient for one of your more iconic 'bake-offs' (or is it "bakes-off"?) ?  [No! - Ed]

It happens to most of us, doesn't it, and no more so than to local man Mike Herrin, featured in today's Onion News - see page 94 !!!!

Poor Herrin!!!  But his saga, featuring as the main story in this morning's Onion News, was soon picked up by the 'nationals', like The Times and Daily Telegraph, and on an admittedly 'slow news day', for a while, even dominated the early morning bulletins of the BBC's World Service, no less!!!!

And certainly Herrin's tragic story brings a much-needed glimpse of a smile to the faces of me and my 'wifey' Little Lois today, here in semi-crustacean Liphook, Hampshire - I'm not going to lie!

[Nobody asked you to! - Ed]

my 'wifey' Lois and me - a recent picture

All in all, this Friday morning has been another typically hectic morning for us, you won't be surprised to hear! 

Lois has been busy baking another batch of her flapjacks for her church's monthly drop-in coffee morning tomorrow in the nearby market town of Petersfield. It's no secret that I've always been a fan of Lois's flapjacks, and she's reciprocated my attentions by keeping back a second tin for my exclusive use later on Saturday afternoon, which I'm looking forward to, as you can imagine!

(left) Lois today cutting up her latest flapjacks for her church's drop-in coffee morning

tomorrow, with a secret extra flapjack 'experience' planned for me later, if I'm good!

And not to be outdone, I've been no slouch myself this morning either, busying myself away, doing my monthly tyre-pressure check on our little Honda Jazz out in our spacious driveway, and then finalising the vocab lists for member of the local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" groups that Lois and I jointly lead, "for our sins" (!).

(left) me doing my monthly tyre-pressure check on our spacious driveway,

and (right) using my well-thumbed Danish dictionary to finalise the vocab

lists for members of our local  U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group (!)

Busy busy busy!

No wonder our neighbours have dubbed us "Liphook's busiest retired couple", a soubriquet that I feel we're earning in spades again this Saturday!

We even somehow find time today to glance at our fortnightly copy of Lois's magazine "The Week", which gives a digest of the week's main news from home and abroad, and we even pause to marvel over the latest brainwave to come from the world's most prolific 'ideas factory', a.k.a. America's White House, q.v. !!!!!

Story not yet confirmed, admittedly, but if it is, may I be the first to say, "Kudos, Donald, another good one!" !!!!!

And after another well-earned afternoon in bed for 'statutory nap-time', Lois and I finally get to 'let our hair down' on the sofa with a nostalgic viewing of 1980's sci-fi classic "The Time Bandits", featuring a very 20th-century young British lad, Kevin, who somehow gets mixed up with a group of cut-throat, ruffian, time-travelling dwarves (!).

Do YOU remember how, in the film, that mischievous gang of cut-throat dwarves took young 20th century schoolboy Kevin back to the medieval times the very times that the lovable young scamp had just been learning about at school. And it's also a very nostalgic viewing tonight for Lois and me, because we remember how our own two daughters Alison and Sarah, loved the film when they were teenagers. 

Yes, Ali and Sarah used to watch the film repeatedly, back in the 1990s, on one of those old VHS tapes - remember those?

flashback to 1990, when the four of us - Lois and me,

and our two teenage kids Alison and Sarah, were

the centre of the universe - awwwwwww!!!!

Happy days!!!! 

And tonight, revisiting this classic film after an interval of - what - 30 years or so (?), Lois and I just revel in those iconic scenes in Sherwood Forest. You know, those seminal scenes in which those rascally time-travelling dwarves, plus little 20th century Kevin, get introduced to the great Robin Hood, and, in response to his many questions, can't resist showing Hood  some of their ill-gotten gains !!!!

Fabulous stuff, isn't it! And, with the tension diffused in the general laughter following lead dwarf Randall's "bon mot", and, under pressure from Robin, the dwarves are seduced into actually showing Robin their 'swag' - perhaps a rather unwise move, with hindsight!!!!

The dwarves' general euphoria is soon dispelled, however, when they realise the mistake they've made by showing Robin the fruits of their labours, to put it mildly!

Oops! Those pesky dwarves should have been a bit more modest, a bit 'tighter-lipped', if that's an expression (!) [No! - Ed], when talking about their 'haul', maybe - that's for sure!

But fabulous stuff, though, isn't it! They don't write scenes like that any more, do they!

[That's one thing to be thankful for, then! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday July 30th 2026 "Are YOU going home to mate this year, but secretly dreading all the 'hoopla', as young people say these days!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU going home to mate this year, but secretly dreading all the 'hoop-la', as young people say today? (!)

One local Canada goose has the answer, according to today's Onion News, so turn to page 94 before you finalise YOUR plans this year!!!

Kudos, that goose!

Reading that story about that clever young goose 'thinking outside the box', however, (or should I say 'thinking outside the V' (?) [No! - Ed] brings a weak smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-avian Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure, as we take a moderately cautious 'morning walk' over the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer giants Liphook United, that's for sure!

There's not very much so-called 'turf' around, after the umpteenth week of the current heatwave, unfortunately! And we're treading carefully, so as not to start any fires and anger the parish council, would you believe! 

However, on the 'plus' side,  Lois seizes the opportunity to perform the official opening of the town's 'blackberry-picking season', while Yours Truly, not to be outdone (!), updates himself with the latest pictures of what, in my warning letters to the council, I've labelled "a potential trial landing-strip for alien spacecraft", near the local soccer heroes' 'hallowed club-house' (see our latest pics below!!!!)

(above) us on our morning walk today over local soccer heroes Liphook United's

"hallowed turf", treading carefully so as not to anger the parish council,

with Lois debuting this year's blackberry-picking season, and me, not to be outdone,

preparing a report on another potential "landing-strip for alien spacecraft"

Busy busy busy!!!!!

Lois and I are out early today, at 9 am would you believe, so as to make use of the last hour of coolness before another 'skorchio' day, as the Spanish call it, right here in East Hampshire, of all places!

We're also taking the time to plan another day of idleness to follow the walk, as recommended by that local Canada goose (!), just doing the minimum to stay cool, ending up in bed after lunch again, as usual, but not in our usual 'stamping ground', if that's the right expression (!). [No! - Ed]

Yes, today we're debuting use of our guest double bed as our new venue for afternoon sessions. It's 6 inches narrower than our usual bed, at 4'6", but it otherwise makes perfect sense, because it's located in our main guest-room, in the cooler 'backside' of our house, so is sure to offer a more restful surroundings for 'statutory nap-time'.

And don't worry, we haven't got any actual guests staying with us at the moment, so we won't be treading on anybody's toes (or should I say 'bedding' on anybody's toes?!) [No! - Ed], which is probably for the best!!!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? - Ed]

Well, absolutely not, seeing as how you're obviously interested! We also somehow find time, in the cool of the evening, to binge-watch more episodes from the recent Canadian TV series 'Schitt's Creek', the riches-to-rags story of billionaire businessman Johnny Rose, cheated out of his fortune by a crooked business associate.  

Poor Johnny (now "poor" in the both the figurative and financial sense!!!!) is forced out of his billionaire mansion, and is having to rent a couple of rooms in a seedy motel in the backwoods town of Schitt's Creek, one room for himself and his wife Moira, a washed-up former daytime soap star, plus a second room for the couple's two useless grown-up kids, David and Alexis.

Schitt's Creek, a town which Johnny had bought a few years previously as a joke, is now providing a much-needed refuge for this unfortunate family, and it has turned out to be extremely useful in 'tiding the family over' until they can recover their fortune, to put it mildly!

In one of tonight's episodes, the Rose family's useless grown-up son David, who's serving in the town's tiny general store, confronts a potential robber, who walks into the store early one morning, when only David and his associate Stevie are around.

Sounds like a reasonable request for any robber to make to an assistant in a general store (!), but oh no, the rather negative David just reacts by making difficulties - oh dear!

And when the robber protests that he's simply robbing the store, David comes up with yet another problem, which is a bit negative, perhaps, but, again, so typical of the useless David!

Darn it, that IS unfortunate!

Luckily, in the end, David, together with his associate, Stevie, come up with a solution, and the satisfied robber goes away with a small, but stylish, cloth 'tote-bag' containing everything the robber might need for a picnic, say, or for an intimate evening with his current "squeeze", or whatever, which is heart-warming, to put it mildly!

And the ever-thoughtful Stevie even throws in some popular pharmaceuticals, which is a nice touch!

Eventually the robber's small bag is ready to go, and the poor guy can at last leave the store. He's got other places to rob today, apparently, so fair enough!

Fascinating stuff, isn't it! And a characterful insight into the simple life of a seedy, backwoods town, which is not only heart-warming, but also, somehow, life-affirming at the same time, which is nice!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!