Tuesday September 1st 2026 "Have YOU bought tickets to see 'The Odyssey' yet? They're selling fast, my spies tell me!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU read about Christopher Nolan's latest hit film "The Odyssey" yet? Tickets are selling fast, my spies tell me (!), even before the film "premieres", in its regional East Hampshire 'manifestation', which is as good indicator as anything of a sure-fire hit, no question about that!

But don't take my word for it! The East Hampshire edition of Onion News has more on that story - so check your copy, and do it now!!!!

Poor Zeus! 

But just a thought from "Yours Truly" here... Could Zeus's troubling 'extramarital affairs with nymphs, goddesses, and mortals' be an idea for Nolan's next epic, maybe with one of today's 'happening' teen 'heart-throbs' like, say, Aussie pop-star Jason Donovan, or similar, in the title role, maybe?

I wonder....!

Be that as it may (!), today's Onion News entertainment headlines certainly bring a hint of a vapid smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, as we do our '30 minutes of squelching' (!), on the hallowed turf of local soccer heroes, Liphook United today, that's for sure! 

And busy though we undoubtedly are today, 'as per usual' (!), we even somehow find time this morning to stop by the run-down clubhouse windows to check player-manager Steve Harding's latest team selection for Saturday's East Hampshire Premier League "grudge match" against local deadly rivals Netley, the much-feared "Dock-Leafers", of all the teams they could have been drawn against!

Go "The Hookers" !!!!!

And, as we walk, Lois and I are also laughing for a good reason about Nolan's "Zeus-less" epic "The Odyssey", because the Trojan War, which features so prominently in the soon-to-be-hit film, is very much on our minds currently, would you believe!

As you will know, the film's story (based on true events) kicks off with the Greeks besieging the city of Troy, then getting fed up after 10 years and pretending to give up and go home, but leaving behind a massive Wooden Horse, supposedly as an offering to the gods for their safe passage home to Greece. 

And the gullible Trojans, when they see that the Greeks seem to have gone home, then wheel the big Horse-statue into the city, unaware that it's full of armed Greeks hiding inside - "It's become a bit of a cliche, but it might just work", as one of the Greek leaders had reportedly suggested - what madness, you say, but in fact it did work, and "in spades" !!!!

And by total coincidence, Lois and I will be starting today, after the long summer break, on our preparation for next Monday's meeting of our local U3A "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers Group", where Roman author Virgil's version of the Trojan War will be on the table, and in its original language, Latin, which will be something of a challenge!

And we'll be keen to find out, if the modern studies are true, the ones indicating that "the Trojans must have been crazy to lead the giant Wooden Horse into their city, given that, at times, 'loud giggling'  was clearly to be heard from inside its wooden 'ribs'".

I wonder.....!!!! 

flashback to last winter: the local U3A "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" group

in full session: group leader Joe at the whiteboard explaining some point of grammar

to his mostly-female group members, jocularly called "Joe's harem" - what madness!!!

20:00 What a day! And limited to only a couple of hours in bed this afternoon for 'statutory nap-time', Lois and I are "plumb tuckered out" by evening (!), and glad to "veg out" by watching a re-run of noted TV playwright Alan Ayckbourn's flagship, iconic 1972 masterpiece "Absurd Person Singular".

An enjoyable evening, but Lois and I just wonder if playwright Alan Ayckbourn made a tactical error in keeping fractious couple Geoff and Eva's terrifying dog George "off camera" throughout the play. It's a tactic which certainly adds to the general air of menace, but totally misses an imaginative portrayal of the dog's more thoughtful and inventive side, which is a pity. 

The ferocious dog's more intellectual qualities are only referred to in passing, in this iconic scene from one of the dinner parties, where Eva 'unloads'  about George the dog to close friend Sidney.

Poor George!!!! 

And how frustrating it must be for George just to be used for his skills in scaring off intruders, and not for his ground-breaking ideas and ability to "think outside the box", or should I say "outside the cage"?  [No! - Ed]

Is there scope for a sequel exploring, and celebrating, the world of George's imagination and breadth of vision perhaps, if Ayckbourn is still around?

I wonder.....!

  

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Monday August 31st 2026 "Have YOU ever been 'sick'? Or maybe 'sick of' being sick, or sick of something completely different?"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever been sick? Or 'sick of' something, maybe? It's been called 'the modern disease', hasn't it, and with temperatures dropping all over the UK as autumn approaches, so-called 'sicknesses' of one sort or another are dominating the press today, no question about that! Just pick up your copy of this morning's Onion News print edition if you want to get the full 'low-down' !!!!

"Makes you sick", doesn't it, haha!!!! And today's headlines about our modern so-called "sick world" are certainly helping to bring a weak smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois today, here in damp-affected Liphook, Hampshire - so that's all good!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Poor Lois has herself been feeling QUOTE "not 100%" UNQUOTE  for the last couple of days, but it's difficult to get the correct percentage down to more than a few decimal points, so I'm not going to put the "numbers" too much under the spotlight here, which is probably for the best!

The 'bottom line' is that Lois is determined not to let her reported 'sore throat' symptoms stop her enjoying herself, and she insists on 'powering through' with our usual morning walk over the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer specialists Liphook United. And she is also being irrepressibly spirited and boisterous, both during our morning walk and even during afternoon 'statutory nap-time', and so, fingers crossed, this 'tough medicine' is going to 'see off' her threatened full-scale cold, so we'll see. 

Watch this space, over the coming hours, for any last-minute 'news updates' !!!!

Lois and me this morning, with Lois insisting on doing our morning walk

over Liphook United's 'hallowed turf' despite her sore throat etc, and (right)

us passing the ground's iconic children's playground, deserted for the Bank Holiday (!)

It's certainly very quiet  on our walk, but maybe that's because (a) the weather is damp and miserable, and (b) it's a Bank Holiday (!) - a combination of factors that, over the years, some experts have linked, by the way: some even calling it  'causal', and certainly the stats don't lie! However, it's the last such holiday until Christmas, so we might as well enjoy it, damp or no damp - that's what Lois and I say !!!!!

And it's nice to know that today's UK Bank Holiday is bringing joy to at least one other person, 9000 miles away in Perth, Australia, would you believe! Yes, step forward our daughter Sarah, whom we call "Sarah Two-Jobs" (!). She's not just a busy accountant for a firm in Perth, but she's also continuing to do her former accountancy job in Evesham UK. And Lois and I always let Sarah know if there's a UK Bank Holiday coming up, because it makes her 'visibly less stressed' to know that her Evesham co-workers won't be at work today, allowing some of her 'UK deadlines' to slip 24 hours, which is a great comfort, and a significant 'morale-booster', she tells us, which is nice !!!!

(left) our daughter Sarah with colleagues at the accountancy firm in Evesham UK,

and (right) leaving her office in Perth, when Lois and I picked her up on our last trip there

Poor Sarah !!!!!

20:00 Evening fallas, and, at last getting a moment to collapse on the couch, and with Lois still reporting that her sore throat seems to be going away, we get the chance to 'kick back' and relax at last, and not before time!

At least on our screens tonight, noted film actor Richard E Grant is on hand to "spirit us away" from England's dampness  to sunny Mediterranean skies in the last programme in his celebrity literary travelogue series, "A Very Modern Odyssey", on Channel 4. 

There's admittedly only a very thin justification for Grant's series, which is supposedly based on the route taken by Ancient Greek hero Odysseus, after he left the Trojan War and 'took the scenic route' back to Ithaca, and back to the welcoming arms of wife Penelope. In his absence, "Penny" was then being 'courted' by, like, a billion horny 'suitors', all trying to convince her that Odysseus wasn't going to be coming home any time soon, so why not have a little fun 'between the sheets' with one or other of them., as they explained to her (!).

What madness, though, wasn't it!!!!

the 'scenic route' taken by Greek hero Odysseus, leaving Troy

at the end of the Trojan War, and eventually finding his way back

to his home in Ithaca, and to his long-suffering wife Penelope

Despite the programme's rather 'dubious' link to Homer's great epic "The Odyssey", the series still has lots of fascinating bits to it. 

Lois and I didn't know (or had forgotten) that the lovely faraway Mediterranean island of Corfu, which was on Odysseus' route home, formed part of the British Empire for almost 50 years, from 1815 to 1864. The Royal Navy apparently kicked Napoleon's forces out of the island in 1815 at the end of the Napoleonic Wars, and the British evidently decided that it was nice enough in Corfu to stay a bit longer (!). 

flashback to around 1830: British troops parading in Corfu

Most of the rest of Greece was then currently occupied by the Ottoman Turks, so I think that the natives of Corfu probably thought that we British were a 'less bad option' if they were going to be ruled by anybody foreign, and the Brits at least had the grace to withdraw from the island eventually, in 1864, when Greek independence in general was becoming 'a thing', so that was all good!

Astonishingly, while 'occupying' Corfu, we Brits somehow also found the time to teach the natives how to play cricket, and the game is still flourishing there, with 6 local cricket teams, Grant reports, some of them 'fielding' the occasional woman-player [no pun intended!!!], which is nice!

"Well played, Sir (or Madam, as the case may be!)!", and "Good shot Sir/Madam" !!!

Before the British arrived in 1815, however, the island had had a long history of foreign occupation, for substantial periods forming part of Venice's Empire, and tonight we see the ever-charming Grant watching a demonstration of a Venetian dance called the Furlana, still popular amongst the "Corfiots", as natives of the island are called.

In a bygone era, the women's exquisite, eye-catching outfits weren't just costumes but also ceremonial dresses signifying social status and marriage eligibility, i.e. whether the woman was a virgin or not, so a big "giveaway" (!).

But wait, there's more! 

The number of ribbons in the woman's outfit told you how big a queue there was to marry the virgin concerned, which was another useful "time-saver" for the Corfiot man-about-town, no question about that!!!! 

So, the moral was that you didn't set your sights on any woman who had too many ribbons, especially if you were short of time, and eager to 'get on with it' (!).

Oh dear, that's a bummer!!!!

Poor Corfiot virgin !!!!!

But what a mad world they lived in, in those crazy, far-off times!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Sunday August 30th 2026 "Got YOUR bank-holiday camping trip over yet? No???? Well, better 'get a wriggle on' !!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU got YOUR traditional 'August bank-holiday camping-trip' out of the way yet? If not, better get a 'wriggle on' - it'll be September before you know it! Just saying!

And the papers are suddenly full of 'camping stories' today - did you notice it? Today's Onion News has several of them, all jockeying for 'pride of place' - just turn to page 94, if you've got the strength in your little thumb haha!!!!

Has the world gone camping mad?!!!! All these "shockers" in the headlines, however, are certainly  bringing the smallest hint of a very wry-to-wry-ish smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning - that's a "given" !!!!

my wife Lois and me - photobombing a recent picture

of adorable stuffed toy "Floppy Dog"

And we're still smiling a bit wryly, when we start our whatsapp weekly "catch-up" video call this lunchtime with our daughter Sarah, who lives in Yanchep, a northern suburb of Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 13-year-old twins Lily and Jessica. 

Awwwww!!!!

lunchtime today (Sunday), and Lois and me are once again on our whatsapp 

catch-up video call, talking to our daughter Sarah and twins Lily and Jessica

Awwwww (again) !!!!

The twins are a bit apprehensive today, but excited at the same time, because this coming week they'll be going on their Anglican school's 3-night camping trip along the Avon River, way out in the outback, doing rock-climbing, kayaking and goodness knows what, the little scamps!

the Avon River, out in the outback of Western Australia, where our twin granddaughters

Lily and Jessica will be, this coming week, on their school spring camping-trip. 

Awwwww!!!

[That's enough 'awwwws' ! - Ed]

'The Avon' - the very name gives Lois and me a quiet sob, because it sounds so very English, doesn't it! 

And it gives me the chance to explain to the twins that there are a total of seven rivers called Avon in England, all caused by a misunderstanding. You see, when the Anglo-Saxons first arrived in Britain, they asked the natives what this or that river was called, and they replied, "Oh that's just the Avon" - because 'avon' is just the Welsh word for 'river'. See? Simples!

And I bet those Ancient Britons had many a laugh behind the backs of those 'invasive' Anglo-Saxons when the Britons heard the Anglo-Saxons talking about "the River Avon", which is just 'River River' from the Ancient Britons' point of view, if you think about it! 

It also give me chance to explain to the twins that when the French first crossed the Atlantic and asked the natives where they were, the natives just said "Canada", which the French took as the name of the country, when it actually just means "the village" in the relevant native Indian language. 

What madness, wasn't it!

French explorers cross the Atlantic and call their new country 'Canada'

due to an early misunderstanding during 'exploratory' talks with the natives

- what madness, wasn't it !!!

[That's enough misunderstandings! - Ed]

The twins have been doing metalwork at their school this last week, and so I nip upstairs during the call, to fetch an 'ancient' artefact to show them: the old clock made out of scrap metal that their mum - our daughter Sarah (49) - made back in the 1980's when their mum was about their age, at her grammar-school in Cheltenham. 

Awwwww (again) !!!!

(left) I showcase the clock made out of scrap metal made by our daughter Sarah

at her school in Cheltenham in the 1980's, and (right) Lois demonstrates

the clock to Sarah's twin daughters 9000 miles away in Perth, Australia which is nice!

Awwwww!!! Happy days!!!!

Above all, however, today's call to Australia comes as a welcome chance for Lois and me to relax, which is a bit of a 'change of pace'! We don't do it very often, that's for sure!

Dubbed by neighbours "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", we've had another busy morning today - no surprise there! However, poor Lois has come down with a sore throat the last couple of days, so she elects to stay home and not attend her church's Sunday Morning Meeting, preferring to log-in to the meeting online so as not to spread the infection to any of the church's members, especially the 'old codgers' among them, which is probably for the best, we think!

(left) the village hall near Petersfield, Hampshire, where Lois's church

holds its Sunday Morning Meetings, and (right) Lois logging in to the

meeting online this morning, so as not to spread her sudden throat infection

14:00 And in bed this afternoon for "statutory nap-time", we get the chance, on our phones, to catch-up with our other daughter, Alison (51), who lives locally, just over the county line in nearby Churt, Surrey, but is not at home this weekend. 

She and husband Ed, plus the eldest of their 3 teenage kids, Josie (19), have this weekend travelled 300 miles north, all the way up to Durham near the Scottish border. 

in bed this afternoon for "statutory nap-time", Lois and I catch up with our

other daughter Alison, who is spending the weekend 300 miles away in Durham

with husband Edward and Josie (19) the eldest of their 3 kids

Ali, Edward and Josie drove up to Durham yesterday (Saturday) to transport the bulk of Josie's "stuff" to what will be her new lodgings when she starts the 2nd year of her maths degree at Durham - she'll be in a house-share with 3 other girls, which should be fun, no doubt about that!

our daughter Alison (51) is seen in the mirror as she takes these

pics of her daughter Josie, surrounded by all the 'stuff' that constitute Josie's life

- clothes, shoes, knick-knacks, badminton-rackets, screwdrivers - you name it!!!!

What a glorious feeling it must be for Josie, who has all her life ahead of her, all just waiting for her around the corner, a life full of promise and possibilities! Awwww !!!!!  [Second warning! - Ed]

20:00 And it's a fascinating evening on the "telly" tonight, which is a surprise! 

We watch the second half of a stimulating documentary about pop duo Wham's two ground-breaking concerts in China in 1985 - the first Western pop act to perform live in the country - a event which caused a sensation at the time, China being a country that had stayed almost completely closed to Westerners for decades, after becoming an aggressively Communist one-party-state in 1949.

Not mentioned in the 'blurb' above was the thing that most struck Lois and me about this programme - the totally different atmosphere that the two concerts were held in - the first in Beijing, and the second down south in Guangzhou. The atmosphere for the boys' concert in Beijing was very tense, with the authorities being palpably nervous and jumpy, while the concert in Guangzhou was a much more relaxed and laid-back affair.

In Beijing, the authorities were noticeably uptight about the scheduled concert. And they decided to station police and security guards all over the auditorium to make sure the audience stayed calm and sitting in their seats during the concert there, and any audience-members who stood up or got over-excited during the performance were 'seized' (!) and duly marched away to who-knows-what fate (!).

However, the second concert, way down south in Guangzhou, was, in sharp contrast, a totally relaxed affair, normal by Western standards, with all the Chinese kids in the concert-hall given free rein to express their excitement and enthusiasm. 

Being near the then British colony of Hong Kong, the Guangzhou area had been "infected" (in a good way!) by the liberal atmosphere of the colony, and most of the audience were frequent listeners to Radio Hong Kong, so knew all the Wham hit songs already, and were singing along with gusto.

No wonder, comments Lois, that the Chinese authorities were so pleased to take Hong Kong back when the British lease ran out in 1997 !

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!