Tuesday July 28th 2026 "Are YOU getting out of shape, with all these 'heat-waves' coming and going?"

Yes, Friends, are all these constant heat-waves, "punctuated" by other heat-waves, doing terrible things with YOUR fitness levels?

Even streakers are "feeling the heat", according to today's Onion News - no pun intended!!!

Poor Collier!!!!

Collier's story, however, brings a wry smile, today, to the bleary-eyed, early-morning faces of me and my wife Lois, here in half-dormant Liphook, Hampshire, no doubt about that!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

All the heatwaves have taken their toll on our fitness levels, no doubt about that, but today we've decided to do something about it, instead of just talking, having been shocked by local streaker Collier's recent poor performance headlined in the Onion News, and picked up as lead story, on an admittedly "slow news" day (!), by the BBC's early morning bulletins, no less!

Yes, Lois and I have decided, after a few weeks now of skulking indoors, to take a modest, 3000-step walk across the local "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes, Liphook United, (unlike Collier, fully clothed!!!), and, crucially, to do it before the temperatures climb too much - i.e. at around 9am, which will be a shock, particularly for Lois, who likes to linger in bed with a good book, and is seldom seen downstairs before ten, would you believe!

my wife Lois and me, walking over the "hallowed turf" of local soccer giants, 

Liphook United, although Lois's light jacket is already off by the time

we reach the club's "hallowed club house" - whatever next !!!!!

Yes, Lois has even put on a light jacket, seeing as how it's only 9 in the morning, but she has already dispensed with that by the time we reach Liphook United's "hallowed clubhouse" - although I caution her not to take anything else off, especially with all the kids around, doing their summer holiday football sessions, which is totally mad!

We're happy to take a modest walk this morning but tomorrow we'll definitely be skulking inside, given the weather forecast, which is calling for another "heat spike", with a top temperature of 87F (30.5C) - what madness, isn't it !!!!

What a crazy country we live in !!!!!

Even our daughter Alison, who is living temporarily in a rental home, just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, with lawyer-husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids, is "feeling the heat". However, here I'm talking about non-literal heat (!). 

Having just returned from their holiday  - with "Skorchio Tours", in Spain's Balearic Islands - the family has been disappointed to see that their builders' work on their proper home, a crumbling Victorian mansion in nearby Headley, hasn't made the progress they expected, which is a pity!

This bad news from the builders is all a bit deflating for the family, to put it mildly, seeing as how the builders had given them an expected 'job done' forecast for September. The job, originally promised to be a quick-ish 9-month job, has already 'ballooned' to almost twice that time - what madness, isn't it!

(above) our daughter Alison and family's crumbling Victorian mansion,

as it looked back in June, and (below) not much better - the way it's looking now,

with the builders' "finish date" looking more and more unlikely - what madness!!!

Oh dear!!!!!

Unfortunately the family have already been given notice to quit their temporary rental home in Churt, which has been sold by its Swedish owners, and this is all coming at the most inconvenient time, with middle kid Rosalind (18) set to start university this autumn. Should Lois and I offer to squeeze the family into our own very modest home in Liphook, just to "tide them over" during the crucial next few months? 

Your thoughts welcome - postcards only, as usual, but with a new limit of only 5 cards max per week haha!!!!! Think of our poor, overburdened Royal Mail postman!!!

one of our typical "bumper bundles" of mail following

one of my more controversial blog posts (!)

But you're probably mildly curious about what Lois and I are doing in our evenings, what with all this unaccustomed heat and all, and with nothing but all this sport and old repeated documentaries "on the box" !

[Mildly curious? I don't think I'd put it that strongly! - Ed]

Let me put my cards on the table at this point! Lois and I are not natural "binge-watchers", preferring as typical "old codgers", to be patient and wait a week before seeing the next episode of any series that we're "hooked on", as young people say nowadays (!). 

me and Lois - not natural "binge-watchers", would you believe (!)

We've made an exception, however, for the reruns on BBC iPlayer of episodes of the recent Canadian series "Schitt's Creek" - a riches-to-rags story about a wealthy middle-aged couple, fallen on hard times: ex-billionaire business-man Johnny Rose and his washed-up ex-daytime-soap star Moira, and their two useless grown-up kids Alexis and David. 

washed-up ex-billionaire family the Roses: mum and dad Moira and Johnny,

seen here with their useless, grown-up kids Alexis and David

After losing their fortune through a deal with crooked business associate, the Rose family has been forced to quit their billionaire mansion and rent 2 rooms in a seedy motel in the backwoods town of Schitt's Creek.

It's been a journey for the family, but a journey also for Lois and me, because today, I can (exclusively) reveal that Lois and I have already triumphantly advanced, thanks to some determined bingeing (!), to Series 4 Episode 5 of this mammoth 7-series show.

You remember Episode 5? You know, the episode in which a false news story appears on the internet about washed-up soap-star Moira, claiming that she's died, which comes as a bit of a bombshell, particularly to Moira herself (!).

First intimations that something strange is going on, come, when an anonymous bouquet of flowers appears on the doorstep of the Johnny and Moria Rose's motel room.

Yes, an experience like this can be disconcerting, can't it, and if YOU have ever been reported dead on the internet, you'll know what I mean, in spades!!!!

The couple at this point are mystified, however. And first indications of what has happened to cause bouquets from well-wishers, come from the couple's useless grown-up kids Alexis and David, who've been following the story of their mother's death on their phones, would you believe! 

In this scene, we see useless daughter Alexis and useless son David bursting into their parents' room, with Alexis initially expressing relief that the story is false.

I don't know - kids today, eh haha!!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!

Monday July 27th 2026 "Are YOU waiting to get that first adorable glimpse of Beyonce's latest twins? Well, join the club haha!!!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU finding it hard to cope, waiting to see what Beyonce's new twins will look like - well, at least those two scamps now have a couple of adorable feet "sticking out", which will satisfy her fans for five minutes at least (!), according to this morning's Onion News!

Kudos, that woman, for not forgetting her fans at this latest seminal moment in her career, which is nice!

And reading her story this morning, here in semi-lovely Liphook, Hampshire, brings an ironic grin to the faces of me and my wife Lois, no doubts there!!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

It's ironic that Beyonce is debuting her latest set of twins' little "tootsies", because we're due to be revealing the delights of our own feet this morning to a woman we've never met, although we've talked on the telephone - Julie, who's going to be our new "toes-woman" from now on, all being well. 

Getting a good "toes-woman" is a big deal for us, that's for sure - because nothing says "You're old!" more clearly than having to pay somebody to cut your toe-nails for you, that's for sure!

(left) the advert from Age Concern Hampshire, which first caught our eye, 

and (right) local toes-woman Julie, attending to Lois's feet this morning

Julie, who recently moved to Liphook from Epsom, just over the county line in Surrey, is trying to build up a local clientele in this area. And you don't even have to get the car out to go and see her, because she comes to your home, plus she's about a third the price of our former toes-woman Janice, over in Beacon Hill, so what's not to like haha!!! 

And like all professional "toes-women", Julie talks non-stop so we don't need to prepare an agenda of "current issues" and "talking points", or try to think up an armoury of "corny" or "toe-curling" foot-jokes (no pun intended!!!) in advance, which is a plus, also! As you'll be aware already from this blog, Lois and I are famous locally as Liphook's "busiest retired couple" (2026), so any cutting of our humongous "to do list" is "key" to our survival, which isn't putting it too strongly, almost, would you believe!

[No, I wouldn't! - Ed]

a typical foot-joke to tell your podiatrist

To put it mildly, the stress of having our toes massaged by a new toes-woman will, later today, make our usual afternoon in bed even "keyer" to our day-to-day survival, if that's a word!

[No, it isn't! - Ed]

One of  our many jobs is keeping up with Australian customs, since our daughter Sarah moved to Perth, Australia a couple of years ago, with husband Francis and their 13-year-old twins Lily and Jessica.

flashback to September 2025: Lois with our daughter Sarah, with her 

husband Francis, and twin daughters Lily and Jessica, outside

the Royal Oak, Alcester - our final meal with them before

their move 9000 miles away, to Perth, Australia, sob sob!!!

Who knew, that "Christmas in July" is "a thing" down-under, particularly in Western Australia? It's all about events staged with a Christmassy feel, apparently invented to make the state's many British immigrants feel more at home in the country's topsy-turvy climate. Over there, crazily, Christmas is the hottest time of year, and July, the coldest month, doesn't have a Christmas in it, which is bad planning, we think! 

What a crazy planet we live on !!!

Our twin granddaughters were celebrating their 13th birthday just yesterday, and our daughter Sarah decided to take them out to a "Christmas-in-July" event at a local pub with their two "besties", followed by a visit to the local Treetops Adventure near their home in Yanchep, just north of Perth, ending up with a lovely birthday cake, which the twins baked and decorated themselves, which is nice!

Awww!!!!! Those loveable little scamps! They're really growing up, and how we miss them !!!!

Poor us !!!!!

At least we've got another new Prime Minister this week, and dare we hope it, a sensible one, and a popular, likeable one, which will be a comfort to us, in our old age! 

And tonight Lois and I watch Burnham's first interview as Prime Minister, with the BBC's Laura Kuenssberg, 4 days into his new job, an interview in which he rules out drama and rhetoric, and, importantly, rules out any early general elections. There's no need for one, he says: we live in a parliamentary democracy, he's got the support of his colleagues there, and he'll be following the manifesto from the last election, which the majority of the electorate voted for last time.

"There'll be no early general election," he says tonight. "I don't think people want it.... What I most need to do is to get Britain focussed on getting the country back where it should be, getting it working." 

He's got a lot to do, also, to put it mildly, so Colin and Lois say, "Let's let him get on with the job, and stop all the drama and all the shouting!"

And he continues:

Well said, that man!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!