Saturday November 7th 2026 "Friends, don't YOU be frightened of snakes! They're even more frightened of YOU, I hear!!!!!"

Yes, Friends, don't YOU be frightened of snakes, they're even more frightened of YOU - didn't your mother ever tell you haha!!! And with each day that passes, seemingly, scientists are discovering more and more about the secret life of snakes - their worries, their fears, their insecurities, even!

And popular tabloid Onion News has today debuted its long-awaited first-ever "Snake News Colour Supplement", free with every issue, a cut-out-and-throw-away supplement that finally shows how the world looks, this time from "snake's eyes" - and not before time!!!! 

So-called Fleet Street, please note haha!!!!

It's maybe all a bit "over the top", you might think! And yet these headlines, and others of a similar 'ilk' were guaranteed to keep my wife Lois and me laughing all day, here in semi-aquatic Liphook, Hampshire - no doubts on that score!!!

my wife Lois and me, having our "tea" tonight, here in semi-suburban Liphook,

still laughing at all those crazy snake stories today, which is mad!

And by coincidence, also this morning, during our weekly catch-up zoom call with our daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 13-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, Francis tells us that he's completed his "snake barrier" - a couple of feet of clear soil which he's managed to construct, on either side of their house's boundary fence. 

The family's home borders on a so-called "nature reserve", actually a total jungle dominated by wily local snakes, and Francis thinks his 3 feet of "cleared-soil area" on either side of the fence will help to discourage snakes from entering the family's garden - but we'll see!!!

So watch this space!!!! Or should I say, "watch this cleared-soil area"!!! [No! - Ed]

(above) Lois and me this morning during our weekly "catch-up" zoom call

with our daughter Sarah, our son-in-law Francis, and their 13-year-old

twin daughters Lily and Jessica; and (below) the family home in Perth's northern

suburbs, on the fringe of a so-called "nature reserve" (ringed) - actually a total jungle!!!

And in the picture above (below, right) you can clearly see our son-in-law Francis having fun on the family tree-swing, when he should have been working, clearing all that jungle!

The young scamp!!!!

However, it's lovely for Lois and me to talk to the family today, through the magic of 'zoom', although the twins are clearly tired - although it's 12 noon here in Liphook, it's 8pm in Perth, and they've had another busy day!

Let's hope that dad Francis had consulted the twins before measuring out his much-vaunted "clear soil area". Lois and I don't like to boast [Yes, you do! - Ed], but those little rascals, Lily and Jessica, tell us today that they came out in the top 10% of all the kids in this year's AMC national maths competition, bless their little cotton socks!!!!

And schools only enter a small number of their very top pupils into the competition, so work that one out !!!! Our two clever granddaughters must be in the top 10% of the top 2% maybe? I wonder.....!

National competitions like this are the kind of thing Australia goes in for - I don't think we do this in the UK. But I seem to think they do something similar in the States. 

Remember in the Peanuts cartoons, good old Charlie Brown trying to win glory in the National Spelling Bee competition?

Poor Charlie !!!!! And to make matters worse, after goofing up at the Spelling Bee, Charlie winds up being called into the school Principal's office, which shows you how seriously these things are taken over there, across "The Pond" !!!!

And even in Australia now, there's a so-called Prime Minister's Spelling Bee, sponsored by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, which is totally mad!

It's a "sport" mostly confined to English-speaking countries. Most countries don't need to have "spelling bees" and all that "malarkey", because, in their languages, the spelling is totally logical and reflects pronunciation, and so is a "no-brainer". 

However, the English language got standardised way too early, due to the influence of the capital, London, and then got "fossilised" by the too-early development of the printing press by William Caxton. And this all happened before the pronunciation of English had finished evolving, which was mad, and hence all our spelling so-called "anomalies" !!!

(left) a typical spelling class in an English-speaking country, with [inset]

an obviously amused William Caxton, who developed his printing press too early,

causing a lot of the problems, and (right) some of the English language's craziest spellings

Hence today, all English-speaking countries are stuck with what-I-call "rubbish spelling", and the rest is history!!!

Poor English-speaking countries !!!!!

And poor foreigners having to learn it in their schools!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!

20:00 And it's been another crazy day for Lois and me here in Liphook, Hampshire, with us literally busy all day from morning to night, would you believe!

[Just once, I'd like to some see just a crumb of evidence for that oft-repeated claim of yours, Colin, just one crumb! Just saying!!!! - Ed]

Meanwhile preparations are proceeding apace for our trip to London on Monday to see one of my sister Jill's acclaimed monologues and also one of her plays, at a fringe theatre in central London, where they will be performed by feminist troupe the Yellow Coat Theatre Company, which is exciting!

(left) the Yellow Coat Theatre Company, currently performing two of my sister Jill's plays,

and (right) my sister Jill with two of the Company's players

And it's confirmed today that one of the actresses taking part will be Grace, daughter of my "new" cousin David and his wife Zanne.

And I call David my "new" cousin, because David, who was adopted soon after birth, was only found to be related to our family through a 2021 DNA test being randomly initiated by my sister Jill through a family history web-site, which was totally mad!!!

just a small part of my "enormous" family tree, showing just 5 of 

my estimated 30 cousins, which is totally mad!!!! 

Lois and I have met David and Zanne a number of times in the last 5 years, since the family connection was confirmed, but we haven't yet met their daughter Rose, who's an actress, and who has agreed to play one of the parts in Jill's play, which is exciting !!!!

(left) poster for one of the Yellow Coat Theatre Company groups, also 

featuring my sister Jill (in the glasses, bottom left), and (right)

 Rose, actress daughter of my "new" cousin David, who's taking part in Jill's play

(left) flashback to 2021: my sister Gill, with our new cousin David and wife Zanne

after a random DNA test revealed the relationship to David, and (right)

flashback to August 2023: Lois with David and Zanne, the day we first met them

at a pub-restaurant in Hanley Swan, Worcestershire, which was nice!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!! [You've done that one once already! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Friday November 6th 2026 "Friends, have YOU ever taken a taxi, or even an "uber" if you're really up-to-date? Haha, bet you haven't !!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever taken a taxi, or even an "Uber", if you're really fashionable haha!!! Many people have, at one time or another, especially in the run-up to Christmas, when they've perhaps had one "drinky-poo" too many - am I right? Or am I right!!!!

Thought so! And I think that's why popular tabloid Onion News have today debuted their first ever Uber News cut-out-and-throw-away Colour Supplement. And to save you time, Yours Truly is going to summarise the "dooziest" stories for you right here, in my blog, at no extra charge!!!! [You don't say! - Ed]

It's all a bit "over-the-top", though, isn't it, if we're honest, that is!!! 

However, certainly, these stories (and others in the same vein!) certainly bring a knowing smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here, as we take our almost-daily walk in the park, in sunny but semi-frigid Liphook, Hampshire - no doubts about that!!!!!

my wife Lois and me, taking our near-daily walk this morning, here in semi-frigid Liphook, Hants

Although dubbed by our neighbours, "possibly Liphook's trendiest-looking retired couple", I'm almost ashamed to admit that we've never taken a "Uber" personally, although we've taken the occasional what-we-used-to-call a so-called "taxi ride" at many points in our long lives, to put it mildly!

And "our experiences in the backs of taxis" over the years, many of them memorable (!), help us enormously today, as we prepare for next week's online meeting of the local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, which we joint-manage, "for our sins"!

me and my wife Lois, trying (and failing!) to control a typically rowdy online

meeting of our local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group

Our little group is currently reading Danish writer Anna Grue's murder mystery "Judaskysset" ("The Judas Kiss!), in which young Danish romance scammer Jay is getting into the beds of a string of Danish menopausal women (one at a time!), then getting into their bank accounts, and finally "bumping them off", when they're of no further use to him - the young scamp!!!!

(left) Danish crime-writer Anna Grue, and her whodunnit "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss)

and (right) a typical young Danish romance-scammer with his latest menopausal victim

We've reached that point in the story - I expect you'll remember it if you have read the book (!), and if speak Intermediate Danish (!). You know! We're just at the point where young romance-scammer Jay is being picked up in a Danish forest by a taxi-driver. 

The taxi-driver quickly spots that Jay's clothes are tattered and torn, and covered in blood, grass-stains and mud [Danish: blod, græspletter og mudder], but the taxi-driver, being a polite Dane, makes no comment about this, which is perhaps a surprise, in the circumstances?

a typical Danish taxi-driver - guaranteed not to comment

if his passenger emerges from the forest covered in blood-stains (!)

However,  the taxi-driver, although curious, and also annoyed about getting possible blood-stains on his nice new back-seat upholstery (!), is at least grateful when Jay finally falls asleep in the back of the cab, which means the driver won't have to have any further "awkward" small-talk with Jay, during the long ride back into Copenhagen, which is probably for the best! 

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

It all makes work for Lois and me today, however, because, after a much-curtailed time in bed for "statutory nap-time", as joint leaders of our little Danish group, we then have to spend a busy couple of hours compiling even more vocabulary lists for our members, ahead of Thursday's group meeting, which is mad! 

(left) Yours Truly showcasing our well-thumbed Danish-English dictionary,

and (centre, right) Lois and me producing yet more "vocab lists" for our members

- what madness !!!!!

Busy, busy, busy!!! 

Luckily, however, Christmas is on the horizon, and, although it's only the first week in November, as the song says, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, Everywhere You Go", which is mad too !!!

And in our house, nothing says "Christmas is coming" more clearly than the sight of Lois watching her Friday afternoon US Hallmark Pre-Christmas Movies, the 2026 season of which debuts today on Channel 5, which is nice! 

And there's a definite "foodie" theme today, with the movie "A Christmas Recipe for Rivalry", featuring a disputed TV Baking Competition result (!), and then a second movie, "Our Family Christmas Memories", in which squabbling siblings try to recreate their old granny's pasta sauce recipe - an "awwww!" moment, if ever there was one!!!!

So forget the "candy canes", the "silver lanes", and "the holly on your door" and all that "malarkey"! This is the real sign you want to watch out for - Lois tuning into Channel 5 in the afternoons, to put it mildly!!!

And I see that, in the case of the second movie, "Our Family Christmas Memories", that the original US title was "Our Italian Christmas Memories", but for UK audiences, the word "Italian" has been dropped, mysteriously.

Is this because, compared to the US, we have only a limited population of Italian-descended immigrants here? 

I think we should be told, don't you! However, your theories welcome - postcards only, as always!!!!

15:00 Luckily, while we're watching the film and compiling our Danish vocab-lists, there's a welcome interruption, when this week's copy of Lois's "The Week" magazine plops through our letter-box, courtesy of our friendly local Royal Mail postman, which is nice!  

And nice also to see a glowing review, in this week's edition, of a just-published auto-biography by ageing, 91-year-old actress, Dame Judi Dench, star of TV's "Downton Abbey", and like, a billion other performances - more probably! - a book written with the help of her confidante, director Brendan O'Hea - another young scamp!!!!

Nobody is a bigger fan of Christmas, it appears, than ageing actress Dame Judi, we read in this week's review of her autobiography "Is It Too Late To Make A Run For It?". 

And, incidentally what a great title for an autobiography! "Kudos, Dame Judi haha !!!!", to put it mildly!!!!

This week's review of the book, however, by the Guardian Newspaper's Fiona Sturges, thinks that to dedicate a whole chapter to Judi's love of Christmas was a bit "over the top", Christmas trees and all, and could have done with what Fiona calls "some pruning" - no pun intended!!!!

Yes, Dame Judi loves her Christmas, but does this warrant a whole chapter

in her autobiography, Guardian reviewer Fiona Sturges asks!

As well as simply adoring Christmas, Fiona writes, Dame Judi "just can't resist a prank!" And this memoir is, Fiona says, "stuffed with stories about the tricks she has played on her fellow actors".

During a performance of Brecht's "Mother Courage" at the Barbican Theatre, London, she replaced the drinks her character serves to two soldiers with cider vinegar. "It was a joy watching them knock it back," Dame Judi recalls, "made even more glorious by the fact that they had to ask for a top-up".

"from seductive to absolutely terrifying!" - playwright Lynn Nottage's

review of Judi Dench's 1984 performance in Brecht's "Mother Courage" !

Another time, Dame Judi started a rumour that fellow actors Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart had adopted a Malawian baby.

The saucy minx!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to  bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday November 5th 2026 "Have YOU ever been 'scammed'? If not, well it's time to put your hand up and 'get with it' haha!!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever been "scammed"? It's become a bit of a "badge of honour" in late 2026, hasn't it, but, on the other hand, don't despair if you've been left out! Take it from me, those scammers have definitely "got your number" (no pun intended!!!).

Popular tabloid Onion News even debuted its "Scamming News" pull-out-and-throw-away "Scamming News Colour Supplement", in a late bid to ride this particular new "hobby horse" - although I myself have just a tinge of suspicion that this so-called "Supplement" could be a fake! But we'll see: time will tell perhaps!!!

Yes, Friends, ignore, if you will, and if you can (!), those headlines (see above!) about another shocking theft from the Dorm Study Area, and focus on the new pull-out "Supplement", and just feast your eyes on "doozies" like these !!!!

It's all a bit mad, though, isn't it, if I'm honest! 

Nonetheless, these stories definitely bring the faintest hint of a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, as we drink a warming cup of tea after our near-daily local walk, here in semi-suburban Liphook, Hampshire - even if those smiles are somewhat predictable, perhaps !!!

my wife Lois and me, warming up with a cup of tea,

after returning from our near-daily walk, here in Liphook, Hampshire today

And our smile is there, because we ourselves have received a suspected possible "scamming" email today, which delights us initially, but ends up with me checking with the retailer, and looking through 15 months of our past bank statements, and all that kind of "malarkey", which is mad!

I wonder.....!!!! 

[Get on with it! - Ed]

And on the back of this experience today, I have even begun to think of emailing Collins Dictionary to suggest 'scam' as their 2026 "word of the year", maybe. After all, now that this new "fad" for "scamming" has even reached towns as obscure as Liphook, Hampshire, I think that that very fact speaks volumes in itself, and deserves to be recognised!

[Get with it, Colin, you old fossil, have you been living under a rock for 10 years haha! - Ed]

By coincidence, however, as Lois are eating our evening meal tonight, an email comes in from Steve, our American brother-in-law, revealing exclusively that the Collins people have already chosen their word of the year, which is "mogging", derived from the acronym AMOG (Alpha Male of the Group), a word apparently now popular with Gen Z people and Gen Alpha - the young scamps !!!!

And hence, once more, if you'd been in Liphook today, you'd have heard Lois and me, a pair of dyed-in-the-wool "boomers" if ever there was one, uttering our immortal words, "Never heard that one! - ???" and "What's that supposed to mean! - ???", or more simply, and more plaintively, just "???????????????????????" !!!

Apparently this "word of the year" story had originally got "buried" on the inside pages of somewhat obscure UK papers such as the Times and Telegraph, but luckily, Steve says, it got picked up by some sharp-eyed "hack" working for the influential Manila Times, in far-away the Philippines - and the rest is history!

This report is hot off the press, by the way, to put it mildly! It's even got tomorrow's date on it, due to the time difference, which is totally mad!!!!

Yes, "mogging" is apparently the art of outshining, or outperforming something or somebody.

In mine and Lois's day, "mogging" was just referred to simply as "Gamesmanship", "One-upmanship" or, even more simply, "Lifemanship", and back in the 1950's, noted writer Stephen Potter published a series of books on the theme, the fruit of all those courses he used to run, in those far-off times, at his prestigious "Lifemanship Institute", based in Yeovil, Somerset, or some-such place. 

What madness, wasn't it !!! 

But believe it or not, however, those basic handbooks, obtainable for the crazy price of two shillings and sixpence (only 12.5 pence in today's money!), books which look superficially a bit "dated" today, maybe, made quite an impact in those crazy, far-off days of the 1950's, to put it mildly!

(left) original Penguin editions of two of Stephen Potter's classic 1950's "self-help books",

and (right) the author himself, also chief lecturer at Yeovil's "Lifemanship Institute"

It's just a tragedy, as Lois and I remark today, that the term "mogging" was unknown in the 1950's.

Wouldn't "Mug up Your Mogging" have made an absolutely brilliant, and eye-catching, title, to display in the front window of somewhere like popular booksellers WH Smiths?

I wonder....!

a typical High Street WH Smith's bookshop in the 1950's

And here's just one example of just one of the amazing impacts that those books made, back in the day! 

It's well-known, for instance, that Lois and I "don't play bridge", as you've probably heard! We look like naturals for it, don't we, but strangely we've never really mastered it, which is mad! 

typical "old codger" couples playing bridge

Although I'm no expert, I suspect that, in bridge, remembering what cards have already been played is at least one of the keys to winning. Nevertheless, Lois and I apparently "just can't be bothered", which is a pity! 

Potter teaches, however, that simply to annoy your opponents so deeply that they never suggest playing the game with you again, can be just as effective, if not more so, than actually winning. And the following strategy, pioneered by leading Lifemanship thinker Meynell - a strategy dubbed "Meynell's Misdeal" - was designed to distract, and disturb, typical bridge opponents.

"dealing the cards" - a mystery to non-card players, the ritual in fact just means

sharing out an agreed number of cards to each of the assembled players

When moved to employ his "Meynell Misdeal" strategy, gamesmanship expert Meynell was accustomed to deal, for example, 17 cards to himself, but only 9 to his partner in bridge, or should I say, "partner-in-crime (!), [No! - Ed], apparently by mistake, would you believe!!!!

Then a few minutes later, when the round was nearing its climax, Meynell would pretend to "discover" the mistake, rendering the round "invalid", and forcing a replay.

Yes, I know! It is a ploy difficult to fully comprehend in the abstract, so here's the actual, worked, example quoted in Potter's Gamesmanship manual, which should clarify any questions you may have, and "in spades" - no pun intended !!!!!

And there's absolutely nothing new about misdeals, also, if that's what you're thinking!!!!

Remember Frederick Remington's classic 1897 painting "The Mis-deal", done in a mock-impressionist style, which leads me to recommend that if YOU are thinking of inviting friends round to YOUR house for a round of bridge, better get your guests to hand any lethal weapons in at the door, before they step into your parlour (!).

artist Frederick Remington's classic 1897 painting "The Mis-Deal",

at the end of a typical round of bridge in the Wild West

Just saying haha !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday November 4th 2026 "Did YOU get caught in the rain this week - like poor King Charles? Well, bad luck haha !!!!

Yes, Friends, many of us have got "caught in the rain" at one time or other, during our lives! Think back - it must have happened to you at some point, especially this week! 

The papers have been full of it - step forward popular tabloid Onion News, who were "putting their toe in the water" as soon as the heavens opened - no pun intended!!!! Check out these "doozies"!!!!

And these stories - and others of the same, or similar, water-content (!) - bring a damp smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in soggy, rain-affected, Liphook, Hampshire, as we shop for much-needed groceries at the local Sainsbury's Supermarket. No question about that!

Storm clouds gather overhead, as  Lois and me shop in the fruit and veg 

section of our local Sainsbury's supermarket this morning

It's a treat for Lois to shop in person, for once, which is nice! Usually we rely on a delivery from online supermarket Ocado, but, as Lois says, "I like to squeeze my melons before I buy" - the little minx!!!

And later, when we're in bed this Wednesday afternoon for "statutory nap-time", we hear our copy of fortnightly political magazine "Private Eye" "plopping" through our letterbox, courtesy of our local Royal Mail postman, which is comforting!

As you'll see from the above picture, it's unfortunate for "Private Eye", that, coming out only every other Wednesday, they've had no chance to comment on today's big news story, the apparent Democratic Party landslide in the US midterm elections. There's not a word about those elections in the "mag" today - editor Ian Hislop has obviously decided that he and his staff should say absolutely nothing about the elections, because anything they might sound off about, or predict, is bound to look a bit silly to readers, who will almost certainly already been seeing a lot of the actual results.

Hence the magazine today is, instead, leading with the "storm" (no pun intended!!!) over King Charles and Queen Camilla's unfortunate lack of an umbrella during a sudden cloudburst in the Caribbean, where the couple were attending Antigua and Barbuda's 45th Independence Day celebrations, ahead of the upcoming Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM), in Barbados.

Hence, also, the magazine's front cover, with its amusing, suggested "speech bubbles", devised by the magazine's royal affairs staff, commemorating the occasion, which has now, inevitably, been dubbed "Umbrellagate" by journalists.

Arguably, however, King Charles himself came up with his own, and much funnier joke for "Umbrellagate", in his later, witty, off-the-cuff, comments to waiting journalists:

And the official "Colin's blog" comment is.... "Kudos, Your Majesty! - nice one!!!"

[Get on with it! - Ed]

17:00 Meanwhile, the real "headlines" today - about the US midterms - have been unfolding, ever since Lois and I woke up, this morning, to the news that the Democratic Party had won control of both Houses of Congress.

And when Lois and I tune into BBC Radio 4's "PM programme this afternoon, and again when, later, we watch BBC1's "Six o'Clock News", both Lois and I get a sense of that the Corporation's journalists have been caught a bit "with their trousers down" - surprised, and confused, by the scale of the Democratic victory, with presenters not quite sure which "pundits" to interview and, even, what questions to ask them, which is mad! 

Like Lois and me, perhaps, they were expecting a result less clear-cut, and maybe even half-expecting that President Trump's voter-base might have "stuck to their guns" (again, no pun intended!!!!), or that Trump himself might have tried to skew the results in his favour, or tried to sabotage the results by voter intimidation or court action, or whatever. 

But no, none of that happened, as it's turned out.

#

And, while we're watching the Six o' Clock News, we find we even get an email from the Guardian Newspaper's US Editor, asking us, as subscribers, to consider sending the paper more money, would you believe! 

What madness!!!

And Betsy writes:

"But why does the Guardian want you and Lois to send them more money?", I hear you cry!

Well, unlike the BBC, Betsy has got her act together, and obviously just knew you were going to ask that, and - guess what - she's got her answer ready!

Yikes!

Well, as I say to Lois, better open our wallets and let those moths fly out! Otherwise Betsy will be coming for us - no question about that!!!!

I wonder....!

20:30 I have to report, however, that our day ends on a very sad note, when Lois hears that her cousin Brian - whom Lois calls her "last surviving cousin" - died earlier today, at the care-home in Bournemouth where he's been a resident for a decade or so. 

flashback to August 1959: the wedding of Lois's cousin Brian to his fiancee Ruth, 

a wedding at which Lois (then 13) was one of the bridesmaids

A sweet, gentle man, with a great sense of humour, Brian "had a good innings", as they say - Lois and I reckon he must have been 91, or thereabouts - and he's survived by his wife Ruth, and their enormous family: she and Brian had 5 children, and, fortunately, many of them, as well as their spouses and their children's children, live within a reasonable distance of poor Ruth, which will be a blessing. 

flashback to August 2019: Brian (in the blue shirt), and Ruth, celebrate 

their 60th wedding anniversary, surrounded by "just some" of their

enormous family of children and grandchildren (!)

And in Brian's current state of mind, and state of health, in some ways today has also, in some senses, brought a measure of relief both to Brian himself, and to his family. Ruth is pretty sure that Brian no longer even recognised her, or knew who she was, although for the last couple of years or so, she's been spending virtually every day at the care-home, right there, at Brian's bedside.

Rest in peace, Brian, and. above all.... thanks for the memories!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!