Friday March 13th 2026 "Are YOU married to a food critic? A lot of us are, aren't we!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU married to a food critic? It can be a thankless task, can't it, like it is for local woman Fran, wife of locally-famous Liphook Observer food critic Paul Greaves, no less! This is the local Onion News for East Hampshire's "take" on the news:

Poor Mrs Greaves!!!!! And dare I say it, shouldn't the great, high-and-mighty husband Paul consent to "get his hands dirty" and make the couple's chicken marsala himself once in a while? Is that asking too much? I wonder....!

Certainly the Onion News story brings a lip-smacking smile to the mouths of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in leafy, semi-processed Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Since January 2025, Lois and I have been living in what used to be very much "chicken country" here in East Hampshire. We know for a fact that when our current housing estate was built, back in the 1970's, it was built on top of the ruins of what was once East Hampshire's most iconic medium-to-high-profile chicken farms, Pedigree Utility Poultry, motto "For Pleasure and Profit", proprietor Captain James I.E. Carswell MBE, no less! 

We don't know the details but when our house was built, together with all the other 60-some houses in this estate on Liphook's Haslemere Road, one of the businesses annihilated by all the new-builds was poor James Carswell's chicken farm business. Let's hope Carswell was re-housed somewhere else, not to mention his poor chickens!!! 

(left) our housing estate, as it looks this afternoon, and (right)

the chicken farm that the estate annihilated when it was built.

Poor Carswell! And poor chickens!!!!

And this morning Lois and I,  as two self-confessed dyed-in-the-wool history buffs, are in the Liphook Heritage Centre trying to find out more about what other things, "disreputable or otherwise" (!), were going on in our area before all the houses were built here in back in the 1970's.

(left) Liphook Heritage Centre's introductory booklet, and (right) 

Lois this morning filling out a form detailing what we hope to find our

about the history of the area we've been living in since January 2025

we also come away with some booklets, including an old advert for a local pub,

the Royal Anchor, a "world-famous old English Inn", proprietor Mr J.L. Papps, 

 whose visitors have included Queen Victoria, and even the Queens of Spain and Portugal

- what madness !!!!!

What a crazy little town we appear to be living in for the last 14 months !!!!

When Lois and I drop by at our little town's Heritage Centre this morning, we find that it's manned by six unpaid old-codger volunteers - yes six!!!! - and judging by the somewhat excessive warmth of their welcome to us today (!), I'm guessing that most days not many people make it up the stairs to their little mini-museum, to put it mildly!!!

Liphook's iconic Millennium Centre, where the town's Heritage Centre

is based, manned by six local "old codger" volunteers

But honestly, you know, Lois and I are just so busy these days, you would not believe! Even though we've been retired almost exactly 20 years, we wonder how ever we found the time to go to work, back in the day!

And this morning, we even had to find time to get a few food items at the local Sainsbury's and even, to fill our car up at the store's petrol station - what madness isn't it!

Busy busy busy!!!!

[Is that all you two "noggins" have done today, Colin - bought a few things and filled up with petrol at Sainsbury's and then picked up a couple of old leaflets? - Ed]

Well, no actually, seeing as how you're asking! We also had time for an afternoon in bed, not to mention doing some more planning for my 80th birthday later this month, would you believe! Both Lois and I are turning eighty this month, despite being, according to some reports, both "marvellous for our age" (!).

[Next time you say that, quote your sources, okay? Just saying! - Ed]

Our daughter Alison and husband Edward, who live with their 3 teenage offspring in nearby Churt, Surrey, will be treating us both to a meal at a Thai restaurant in Haslemere. 

(left) our daughter Alison, husband Edward, and their 3 teenage offspring, seen here 

on their recent skiing holiday in northern Sweden, and (right) Haslemere's iconic

"Sabai" Thai restaurant, where the family will be treating Lois and me to a birthday meal

Also, an email comes in from Milk'n'More dairies, who obviously somehow also know that my birthday is coming up, and they're even offering me a discount on some items, which is so sweet of them!!!

At the moment I'm thinking of going for a double helping of the 20%-off artisan bakery items, but your ideas welcome - postcards only, remember haha !!!!

Eighty eh, the big "eight-oh" !!!! Where did the years go?

Here's me with Lois at 60, on the day we both retired...

flashback to March 2006: (left) celebrating with Lois on the day I retired,

and (right) my former workplace, nestled peacefully in the Cotswold Hills - happy days!!!!

Fast forward to 2016, and I mean "fast"!!!!! 

The year 2016 and it's now my 70th birthday, on our holiday in Rutland, where I'm (right) sitting in front of another old ruin haha!!!!

flashback to 2016, and our holiday in Rutland, (left) by the River Welland, and (right)

me sitting next to another old ruin (!) - Stamford Castle, built by

William the Conqueror a few years after his 1066 invasion of England 

Happy days !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!

Thursday March 12th 2026 "Grandparents, do YOU view with suspicion your grandchildren's sudden interest in you?"

Yes, Friends, do YOU view with suspicion your grandchildren's sudden apparent interest in you?

We've all been there, haven't we - unless we're not grandparents! And Onion News has at last brought the problem to world attention with their today's front page "splash", to put it mildly!

Poor Grandma!!!! And reading the story today, here in rural, semi-automated Liphook, Hampshire, brings a certain sympathetic smile to the lower part of the faces of both me, and my wife Lois, as we trudge through the mud of local soccer heroes Liphook United's "hallowed turf" this morning.

Luckily Lois and I are completely on our own when our laughing starts in earnest. Nobody else in Liphook - bar none - is apparently willing to brave the incipient drizzle and 50 mph winds today to enjoy the pastures of the semi-disused "recreation ground" where so many dreams of soccer glory have bitten the dust, which is a pity!

Lois and me this morning on our drizzle-affected windy walk this morning

over local soccer heroes' Liphook United's "hallowed turf", where

so many dreams of soccer glory have bitten the dust, 

and come to a very muddy end, to put it mildly!!!!

At least, "the lads in blue", as Liphook United's players are known in these here parts (!) scored a creditable, and nail-biting, goalless draw away last Saturday against Hampshire Premier League top-of-the-table giants Locks Heath, which has lifted "the lads" from second-from-bottom to third-from-bottom in the table, and confounded a lot of the local doubters, and surprised a lot of other local "Moaning Minnies"  (!), as they all downed their pints in the local pubs last Saturday night, no doubt about that!

Still, it's going to be a long climb up the table if "the lads" want to ever get to play in Europe before they retire! Just saying!!! 

But a journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step, "as Confucius say" haha!

flashback to last Saturday: a nail-biting moment in Liphook United's exciting

goalless draw against league leaders Locks Heath. Go the lads !!!!!

You'd never believe it to look at us, but Lois and I are fully-paid-up "old codgers" and grandparents to five, but, at 79 going on 80, we're well past the age of being used by those grandchildren of ours as "homework fodder" - see Onion Story above, if you want "chapter and verse" (!!!!).

Lois and I are still, however,  just about able to do our job as leaders of the local U3A Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers group, "for our sins" (!), and it's the group's fortnightly meeting at 2:30pm today, which, if nothing else, keeps Lois and me out of bed this afternoon, a complete "change of pace", to put it mildly!!! 

me and Lois trying to keep control of another rowdy online

meeting of the local U3A Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers group,

which we lead "for our sins" !!!!

The group actually boasts a Danish grandmother, Jeanette, in its serried ranks, which is useful in many ways, as she guides us painfully through the torture of pronouncing the language, an experience which has often been described as "trying to talk with a potato in your mouth" (!).

(left) Jeanette, the Danish grandmother in our local U3A "Intermediate Danish

for Old Codgers" group, and (right) some YouTube guidance on 

what best to have in your mouth when trying to talk the language (!)

Lois and I first took an interest in the Danish language during the 7 years our daughter Alison and family were living in Copenhagen (20012-2018), during which period Lois and I visited them several times.

flashback to May 2013: Lois and me larking about 

in the "dressing up room" at the Viking Museum, Trelleborg, Denmark

Happy days!!!!!

20:00 Strange though it may seem, a lot of Danish was being talked in England, over a thousand years ago, especially in the north of the country, as Prof. Robert Bartlett makes clear in the second programme in his fascinating series "The Normans". In the series Prof. Bartlett describes how William Duke of Normandy invaded England in 1066. The Normans seized control of not just England but, eventually, also the rest of the British Isles, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, changing them all for ever.

After William defeated the Anglo-Saxons at the Battle of Hastings in 1066, he met with growing resistance as his plans to transform the country began taking shape, and the strongest resistance was in the north, where it erupted into open warfare, Prof. Bartlett tells us.

In 1069 King William marched on York and crushed the rebellion, and just to ram the point home, on the third anniversary of his coronation in Westminster Abbey, William donned his crown and robes again, this time in the ruins of York Minster, as a symbolic gesture of triumph over the rebels. 

What madness!!!!

In all the public offices of Anglo-Saxon England - the bishops, the county sheriffs, the land-owners, anybody with any authority - Anglo-Saxons were replaced with French-speaking Normans.

It's fortunate, perhaps, that we're not all talking French today, over a thousand years later, but our dear English language was preserved in the end, thanks to the Normans' one critical mistake: they mostly didn't bring their lovely Norman womenfolk with them - which was a bit of a rookie error, as Prof. Bartlett stresses.

Kudos, those Anglo-Saxon mums and wet-nurses!!!!

[That's enough Normans! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday March 11th 2026 "Be careful who you get your pizza from! You may get a call, later, from the police, no less!"

Yes, Friends, choose your pizza-supplier wisely! It may not be just the Chinese who are adding your preferences to their file on you !!!!

And if you want "chapter and verse", this morning's Onion News has more....

Yikes!!! And yet reading the Onion headline this morning, here in leafy, semi-articulated Liphook, Hampshire, this morning, brings a nostalgic smile to the lower faces of me and my wife Lois, that's for sure!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

It's the mention of "Hawaiian Pineapple Pizza" that is sending us into a kind of a nostalgic ecstasy. You see, that old classic has disappeared off menus "in these here parts", as people say "in these here parts" (!). Possibly the local county police or even the People's Republic of China no less, has decided it's too "dangerous" an option, "seditious" even? I wonder....!

In short, we're not sure - but if you know why, please drop me your "take" on this contentious issue - postcards only haha!!!!

Certainly, a Hawaiian is nowhere to be seen on the menu this afternoon, as we treat ourselves to a latish 1:30pm lunch at nearby Italian restaurant Adriano's today!!! And if you're good (!), I'll tell you later in this blog exactly why we're lunching so late today, so just mind your Ps and Qs, that's all !!!!!  [I can't wait! - Ed]

And after demolishing "two soups", but before demolishing "two tiramisus", in the predictable absence of our Hawaiian "fave", Lois, who's feeling especially adventurous and capricious today, decides to plump for the Capriccioso - no pun intended!!!! - while I stick with the safe choice, the Margherita, which is always "yum", to put it mildly!

[Thanks for telling us! - Ed]

Lois is in a capricious mood today, so goes for the "Capriccioso", which is apt (!), 

while I stick with the safe choice - the Margherita [not shown]

"But why are you and Lois lunching so late today?", I hear you cry! 

Well, it's because, during an earlier, exciting, but uncomfortably late, 12 noon appointment, we've just been getting to know our new "foot-woman", Janice, who handles her patients (physically as well as commercially!!) in a conservatory in her back garden just a quarter of a mile away from Adriano's, which is super-convenient, to put it mildly!

Janice is just doing Lois today, but she'll be doing me later in the month - and nothing says you're old quite as much as having to pay somebody to cut and file your toenails and then massage your feet with an assortment of mysterious creams, that's what we always say!

However, we come away from this first appointment today feeling we've known Janice all our life, including her marital history and medical history etc, plus details about her family members, including her dear 91-year-old mum, which makes us feel really relaxed. Janice is a really lovely person, we can tell, and a good "find" for us. I think we've really struck lucky here, which is nice to know!

our feet - a part of us that so often gets overlooked

Yes our feet are so often overlooked, aren't they - literally in many cases (!). especially if you're tall (!), and yet they're so so so important! 

Remember tall singer Bernard Bresslaw's famous "paean to feet" in his 1950's classic tear-jerker "You Need Feet"?

They don't write songs like that any more, do they! 

[That's one thing to be thankful for! - Ed]

15:00 Lois and I get home at last, feeling pleasantly full after our soup-pizza-tiramisu lunch, ready for a slightly delayed late afternoon in bed, but it's nice to put your feet up once in a while, isn't it! 

[You lazy so-and-so's! - Ed]

21:00 And there's another chance to put our feet up again this evening, to watch another programme in veteran TV actress Penelope Keith's new series on "Saving Country Houses", which is also relaxing, strangely enough! Well, we both love work - we can watch people doing it all day haha!!!!

Tonight we also find ourselves again in Whitmore Hall, Staffordshire, the UK grand house with the longest ever ownership by a single family, the Mainwarings, going back centuries - 34 generations in all.

Since 1600, all the couples who've owned the house have had their portrait painted and hung in the hall. And recently it was the turn of the present owners to "bite the bullet", and have theirs done. 

What a bore haha!!!

What madness!!!!

As regards many of those paintings in their hall, Edward and Heather aren't 100% sure who they're supposed to be. But there's one particular picture that they know a lot about, and that's the portrait of Rear Admiral Roland Mainwaring (1783-1862), because he took to keeping a diary every day of his life, including the day he died (!), as Edward's mother and his sister Fleur explain here:

Poor Rear Admiral Roland !!!! 

But he had had "a good innings", living to the grand old age of 78 or so. As a 14-year-old midshipman he had fought the French at the Battle of the Nile in 1798, and after that, he enjoyed a long, distinguished career in the Navy.

I myself feel a slight connection with Roland, as I write a blog every day, which is, like, the 21st century equivalent of a diary of the kind Roland made sure to fill in, also on a daily basis. 

But is it too late for me, now, to get a job as a Rear Admiral? I wonder....!

[That ship sailed a long time ago, Colin - no pun intended!!!!! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!