Sunday January 18th 2026 "Do YOU sometimes try to "look busy"? My first ever job was where I learnt that 'trick of the trade' !!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU ever try to "look busy"? It was something I learned in my first ever experience of the "gig-economy" in my pseudo-"gap year", working for 6 months at the Bristol branch of TV rental giant Radio Rentals, at the age of 18, way back in 1964, would you believe!!!

flashback to Easter1964: me aged 18 on the quayside at Yarmouth, Isle of Wight

with my old dad Ken (50), my brother Steve (12) and my younger sister Jill (6)

"Always try to look busy when [regional company manager] Mr McMichael drops by!" is what I was told all those years ago, and it was one of the first, and best tips I ever got, on how to keep your job!

At the time, I assumed this was just a local rule, "a kind of a Bristol thing", but no. According to today's Onion News, it's actually one of those "universal constants" (!) - it applies throughout the known universe, which is a surprise - my goodness!!!

Poor Mars Rover !!!!!

And reading this Onion "page 94 splash" in bed this morning, with my wife Lois, here in marginally-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, "lends" a peculiarly warped, 45 degree tangent of a smile to our faces - that's for sure!

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

Rushed off our feet ourselves, despite having been retired for, like, a billion years - we're celebrating the 20th anniversary of our retirement in a couple of months time - in actual fact we're now working harder than we ever worked when we were working, if that makes sense !!!! 

[I'd like some hard evidence before you say that again! - Ed]

And our daughter Sarah (48), who lives in Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, has a similar, if not actually a worse story to tell, as we hear yet again in our weekly Sunday morning "catch-up" zoom call with her today.

our regular weekly "catch-up" zoom call with our daughter Sarah and family

9000 miles away from us in one of Perth, Australia's northern suburbs.

Lois and I call our daughter Sarah "Sarah Two Jobs", and with good reason! While working as company accountant for some local heating firm in Perth, she's also still doing the Evesham UK job for a local accountancy firm, the job that she was doing full-time before the family moved back to Australia in September 2024.

(left) Sarah, second from right, with colleagues at the accountancy firm where she works 

in Evesham UK, and (right) leaving her Perth office 10 years ago on a previous stint down under

And now, her Perth firm has acquired a new boss, who's come in and started changing everything, "just to make his mark", Sarah says! And meanwhile back in Evesham UK it's the busiest month of the year - something to do with her UK workplace's tax returns, Lois and I don't fully understand it, something to do with the so-called "tax year".

What madness, isn't it! And Sarah and Francis's twin daughters, although officially on two months' holiday from school - they finished primary school in December and start secondary school in February - even they have been rushed off their feet trying to complete their new school's so-called "reading list" of several books. And they're not even students there yet!!!!

during our weekly "catch-up" zoom call with our daughter Sarah in Perth, Australia,

Sarah showcases some of the ten or so books that the twins have got to read before term starts

Has the whole world gone stark staring mad???!!!!!

At least Lois and I get a chance to sit down for an hour or so, when I drive Lois to her church's Sunday Morning Meeting, 10 miles south of us in Petersfield, Hampshire, later this morning, although the temperature in the village hall where services are held, leaves much to be desired, if I'm cool-headed about it - no pun intended !!!

I drive Lois to her church's Sunday Morning Meeting at a village hall just outside

Petersfield, Hampshire, where we all sit muffled up in our winter coats - brrrr!!!!

Will winter never end???!!!!! Or, for our Australian family, will summer never end haha!!!

First, Liphook, Hampshire UK, over the next 2 days, with a high, on Monday afternoon, of only 51F (11C) - brrrrr!!!!!

Then compare that with Perth, Western Australia, which is forecast to have an absolutely mad high of 99F (37C) on Tuesday afternoon, would you believe !!!! :

What a crazy planet we live on !!!!!

18:00 Well, Lois and I are both 79 years of age, and looking to become 80 later this year - you do the maths (!), but that's only "if we're spared" as Lois's old dad Dennis used to say !!!! 

We are, however, unquestionably "marvellous for our age" - that's for sure (!).

Lois and me, dubbed "marvellous for our age", by critics

Yes, we always try to be marvellous, and, like NASA's Mars Rover, we always try to "look busy" haha (!). 

And not only that, but we try our best not to be just "deadwood" to the younger members of our families, as we always say (!).

Interestingly, however, we find out this evening on this week's Countryfile on BBC1, that "deadwood" isn't such a bad thing anyway, at least not out in the wilds of the Exe Estuary down in Devon.

In this sequence from the programme, presenter Adam Henson is talking to local woodsman Sam about some weird looking trees on a Devon nature reserve.

"But why the mildly strange moniker 'Frankenstein trees' ?", I hear you cry! 

Well, woodsman Sam has the answer!

What they're doing, in fact, is taking bits of some unwanted trees  transported down from a plantation near Shaftesbury, Dorset, where woodsmen have been "thinning them out". 

Poor trees!!!!

Happily, however, now, down in Devon, the local woodsmen have been "repurposing" these unwanted trees, so that fashionably-minded, "happening" wildlife will want to come and live in them. 

Woodsmen have tried to make the trees more attractive to discerning local birds, bats, insects etc by adding some "highly desirable, highly fashionable, 'retro' features", as estate agents would call them. And this process as a whole is referred to as "veteranisation".

Fascinating stuff, isn't it! And how Lois and I laughed watching the work being done on all these trees on tonight's programme!

But there's a more serious point here also, isn't there.

Could Lois and I, before we ourselves become complete "deadwood", also be "repurposed" in a similar way? 

I wonder.....!!!!

And what would we be "repurposed" for? Your suggestions welcome - postcards only haha !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!

Saturday January 17th 2026 "Do YOU feel nervous whenever Sean Connery drops in?"

Yes, Friends, do YOU sometimes feel a bit "on edge" when Sean Connery drops by YOUR house? Well, you would, now, seeing as how he passed away in 2020 - rest in peace, Sean, by the way haha!!!!

However, there was a reminder this morning of those anxious days in this morning's Onion News, waiting for Sean's "knock on the door" (!), in the paper's popular "From the Archives" column - if you can thumb your way all the way back to page 94, that is! It'll be worth the possible slight-to-slightish damage to your thumb, I can assure you haha!!!!

Poor Sean!!!!!

However, reading the Onion story in bed this afternoon with my wife Lois, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, brings a queer kind of twisted smile to our lips, because we've been reminded already today, that Scotland's big night, Robert Burns Night, is just 8 days away. We were having our lunch today with a pizza at the local Links Tavern and we just happened to see an advert for their special Burns Night supper.

Lois and me having lunch today at the local Links Tavern, where we 

see an advert for the pub's Burns Night supper next weekend, which we sign up to

On a whim, we decide to sign up for the pub's Burns Night supper. 

We usually celebrate Burns Night at home, just the two of us, but we're attracted by the promised presence in the pub, next weekend, of the St Andrews Pipe Band - a group of Scottish "ex-pats" based in nearby Hamble-le-Rice, near Southampton. [Hamble-le-Rice is an odd name for a village, but 'hamble' meant a river-bend in Anglo-Saxon, and "Le Rice" was Norman French for a rise, referencing the village's position on higher ground - but you knew that already, obviously haha!!!!]

flashback to June 2014: the local St Andrews pipe band travels to

Ouistreham in northern France for the 70th anniversary of D-Day

Yes, this local pipe band were across the English Channel in Ouistreham, Normandy for the 70th anniversary of D-Day. But did you know that Ouistreham was named by some Anglo-Saxons who, perhaps, got lost on the journey from Denmark to England, and decided to settle in Normandy instead - well, the weather's better down there isn't it haha! 

This is just "by the way", but the Normandy town of Ouistreham has a special significance for Lois and me, because we had a lovely, super-relaxed holiday there, back in the autumn of 1996, 30 years ago, to mark our new-found "empty-nesthood". Both our daughters had now become officially "off our hands" and away at college, Alison at Cardiff and Sarah had just started at Lancaster.

flashback to 1996: our elder daughter Alison now at Cardiff University, where she'd already

met her future husband Edward, and our younger daughter Sarah settled in at Lancaster, 

Lois and I have a lovely relaxed holiday in Ouistreham, Normandy

[That's enough place-names! - Ed]

14:00 With our £10 deposit for Burns Night paid at the bar, together with our order for our starters and mains, you can imagine that Lois is in a super-excited mood for this afternoon's "statutory nap-time", to put it mildly (!). 

She checks first that she's still got her "Tartanista" Scottish kilt in our wardrobe - not a forgone conclusion, after our having moved home twice in 2 years, would you believe, which was total madness !!!! She remembers, however, that her kilt famously "fell off her" on Burns Night last year. We'd both been on a crazy diet, and lost half a stone each in a couple of months.

flashback to Burns Night 2024: Lois, seen here in happier times, in her 36" UK Size16 kilt, 

preparing the haggis we'd ordered from Ocado (see right for full details of our shopping list!)

[All right, we get the point! - Ed]

Lois's kilt is UK size 16 for a 36-inch waist, which is now far too "roomy" for her, but this afternoon, after making plans to order her a shiny-new 34 inch one from Scotland, and hoping it can be delivered before next weekend, she realises that she can just "move the button" with a bit of her expert needlework skills, which often come in handy, and which is nice!

We try to stay trim, although we've both put on a few pounds with lots of naughty eating over Christmas. The new diet starts next week, by the way haha!

And this morning we took a bracing 4000-step walk, near the line of the old Roman Road, over Chapel Common, just over the county line in West Sussex, which is a new walk for us, in a new area.

flashback to this morning: we do a 4000-step walk over Chapel Common, a new area for us

"Chapel Common" takes its name from a nearby 800-year-old disused Anglican chapel, Tuxlith Chapel, which was recently rescued from ruin by "The Friends of Friendless Churches".

Awwww, bless !!! And, by the way, "Kudos, you guys!" and also, "Hail to thee, you kept us out of war!" haha !!!!

[That's enough history! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!

Friday January 16th 2026 "Do YOU attend YOUR family's press conferences? It's tempting to 'skip' them sometimes, isn't it !!!!"

Yes, Friends, do you meticulously turn up when your family members hold press conferences in the front garden?

Everyday life is so busy these days, it's tempting to "skip them" or pretend that they clash with a medical appointment or some-such nonsense, isn't it! 

But are we perhaps thereby missing out on what some  people dub "key chapters in your family's story"? I wonder...! Onion News has more....

Poor Martin !!!!! And let's hope he got a better attendance this year, after last year's fiasco, when only the family cat is reported to have been in the vicinity!!!!

Martin's story, however, gives me and my wife Lois, here is partly-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, something of a sardonic, diagonal-shaped smile to our lips, as we take our daily walk this morning over the "hallowed turf" of local "lawn bowling giants", those bowling "legends", the famous "Liphook Old Codgers", to put it mildly!!!!

And don't worry, Lois isn't sporting her legendary stilettos, so no worries there, and no need to start shouting at us, like last time, Mr Greens-man, if you're reading this!!!!

Luckily, there's no sign of Mr so-called Greens-man, although we do hear a record number of birds. They're exercising their vocal chords, Lois says, in preparation for the "mating season" - what madness!!!

And there's no sign of the team's ageing legendary members today - the only old codgers around this morning are just me and Lois! So whether the bowling guys and gals are preparing for their mating season somewhere more private, remains to be seen (!). 

typical local East Hampshire "old codgers", in training for their annual mating season, (left)

limbering up in the gym, and (right) trying out their mating calls on a recent Saga tour of the Alps

In the meantime I'll let you know if Lois and I hear any suspicious noises coming from behind the clubhouse haha!!!

I've got an app on my phone which covers birds, identifying them by their "noises" (!), but I haven't got the new one which targets elderly humans, and identifies them to their various sporting activities (!).

The 'Liphook Old Codgers' club's "ageing, legendary members",

seen here in happier times, after the annual "needle match"

against local rivals the "Clanfield Crinklies"

The Liphook Old Codgers, the Clanfield Crinklies etc - Yours Truly, in my popular blog posts etc (!), tend to call them all by the single "catch-all" moniker of "ageing legendary members".

14:30 But is "ageing legendary members" the correct word-order here? Or should it be "legendary ageing members"? 

I wonder... !!!

And it's a topic that comes up this afternoon, during the monthly online meeting of the local U3A "Intermediate History of English for Old Codgers" group, which I lead, "for my sins" (!!!!).

some typical online meetings of the local U3A "Intermediate 

History of English for Old Codgers" group

It's a meeting of mini-presentations by various members, and Darryl, when it's his turn, asks us to arrange a series of adjectives in the correct order.  He says, interestingly, that all native speakers of English know "instinctively" what order to arrange a string of adjectives in, even though few can say what those rules are. 

As the BBC's Matthew Anderson put it recently:

As Matthew says, "A lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling-knife" is correct, for example. But mess with that word-order and people will immediately begin to suspect that English is not your native language, or, as Anderson says, that you're perhaps a maniac. Or both!!!!

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

[If you say so! - Ed]

a typical green French silver whittling knife

Next, Darryl also gives us a list of apparently "modern words", like "psychedelic", "biopic", "ecosystem" etc, and asks us all to guess what decade we think they first appeared in. And I think that in every single case our group thought that these words were much, much more recent than they really are. 

The word "newsflash", for example dates from 1904, when you'd imagine that the news was still coming in by carrier pigeon, or by sets of hilltop bonfires etc.

#

flashback to World War I: troops using carrier pigeons

to send their weekly report back to HQ

Darryl doesn't cover the word "flashback", incidentally, one of Yours Truly's "fave" words. After this afternoon's meeting, however, I google it and I find that it's almost contemporaneous with "newsflash", which is a surprise:

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

And if you're wondering about "fave" for "favourite" as in "one of Yours Truly's fave words", well that too sounds "modern", but actually dates from the 1930's would you believe !!!!

[That's enough words! - Ed]

But wait, just one more question for you, one that Darryl posed to our online group this afternoon: and it's all about the 'modern' word "gaslighting", which dates from the 1940's.

And here's the thing - If YOU are the victim of this insidious modern tactic of "gaslighting", when somebody is playing with your mind, maybe trying to convince you that you're going crazy, would you be said to be being "gaslighted" (as our group thinks), or is it more correct to use the arguably simpler form, "gaslit"?

I think we should be told, don't you!!!

What madness, though, isn't it !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!