Tuesday March 31st 2026 "Are YOU 'feeling your age', this week? Well, relax, and join the party!!!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU 'feeling your age' this week? Well, relax, there's a new place in town where you can go and 'drown your sorrows' and chat to others with similar problems, according to today's local Onion News for East Hampshire! See page 94 for details, or just check out my handy dandy summary right herein front of your nose, if you're feeling unexpectedly tired today !!!! 

Poor forty-somethings!!!!

My wife Lois and I don't have those problems, I'm glad to say! What with Yours Truly having hit the big "eight oh!" this week, and Lois getting ready to cross the same bridge in a couple of months' time, we're more than qualified to say "Been there, done that!", to put it mildly!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Lois and I are, however, certainly feeling those (combined!) almost 160 years ourselves today, having taken our first serious venture into gardening after the long winter! Lois has been doing some weeding and I have been finally managing to mow almost half of our tiny back garden, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure. 

Lois, as always, puts in the better performance with her allocated 2 hours of weeding, while I waste most of my 2 hour 'slot' just trying to get our lawnmower to start - what madness!!!! I even have to hunt out, and consult, my 50-page instruction booklet with its microscopic font and its laconic instructions, written in, like, billions of languages - more probably! Eventually, however, I get my show on the road and do a little bit of mowing before it's time for our lunch and afternoon nap, which comes of something of a relief! 

(above) Lois gets going with her first post-winter weeding, while I skulk indoors

researching how to start the lawnmower, eventually (below) having time to

mow about 80% of our tiny back-garden before it's time for lunch - what madness!!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

Other "old codges" are doing better than us, we know - even the long-time, fully paid-up octogenarians, seemingly! 

Today we see pictures from Jo Ann, one of our old friends from our three years in America in the early 1980's, taken near her home, at one of the recent "No Kings!" rallies that people have been staging over there. 

flashback to 1984: Lois and me, with our two daughters Alison (9) and Sarah (7)

touring the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, and (right) me, cool as a cucumber,

driving our All-American car, with the steering wheel on the 'wrong' side (!)

Jo Ann is actually even older than us. I remember that, during our time in America - 1982-85 - Jo Ann was celebrating her 40th birthday, when Lois and I were a mere 37 or 38 or so, and I remember thinking "Jo Ann forty? Gosh, that's really old!!!".

pictures of a local "No Kings!" rally taken by our American friend Jo Ann

It seems that, after 250 years, a lot of Americans don't want to go back to having a king, Jo Ann says.

However, if they change their minds, I can recommend that they don't have a king like Richard II, whom Lois and I hear about in tonight's programme in historian Simon Schama's fascinating "History of Britain" series on the BBC4 channel, to put it mildly!

Richard II (1377-1399) was almost the epitome of the sort of king all countries should avoid having, if they possibly can!

Richard II (1377-1399) - the sort of king that no country 

should be forced to put up with!

Late in his reign, in 1394, Richard decided to go on a rampage against all the barons who'd annoyed him during his first 17 years on the throne. He brutally disposed of all the leaders of the so-called "merciless Parliament" of the previous decade. The Earl of Arundel was executed, the Earl of Warwick was exiled, and the Duke of Gloucester, Richard's own uncle, was murdered, smothered in his bed on the King's orders.

All Richard's old scores had been settled at last, and you'd think, presenter Schama tells us, that Richard would now be able to contain his sense of triumph over his enemies, but no, apparently!

So take warning, America! And if you do decide to have a king, for heaven's sake get somebody nicer than Richard !!!! 

Eventually Parliament forced Richard to resign, which was a relief to all concerned, to put it mildly! Most of tonight's programme, however, is taken up by the plague, the Black Death which swept across Asia and Europe in the 14th century, killing what's estimated to be 50% of the population.

The ironic thing about the Black Death, however, is that, in England at least, it helped to end serfdom and to advance the cause of democracy. Because of the acute labour shortage, the country was forced to treat the surviving workforce with proper respect, and to pay them decent wages, also granting them full civic status for the first time.

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Monday March 30th 2026 "Friends, do YOU live next door to an ocean? Well, lucky you haha!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU live next door to one of the world's ocean? Well, if so, you might want to check out this frightening story in this morning's Onion News! 

Just saying !!!!!

Kudos, that ocean!!!

And if you think the story seems a little far-fetched, and you're scratching your head while reading this, don't worry! The story comes from the paper's popular "Leave Time For A Smile" column, see page 94 of the print edition! So it's merely the figment of the imagination of some local, hard-working, so-called "comedy journalist", which is a relief!

It's certainly amusing, however, as a story, even if it isn't strictly true (!), and it doesn't fail to bring a wry, if slightly jagged, smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly. 

We're actually busy taking our near-daily walk, which this morning takes us over the mud-affected turf of nearby Old Man Lowsley's Farm, which is nice!

flashback to this morning: my wife Lois and me, taking our near-daily

4000-step walk through nearby, mud-affected, Old Man Lowsley's Farm

Water, and oceans in general, are certainly very much on our minds today.

In contrast, a very real story about the ocean has, by coincidence, grabbed Lois's attention today, from our copy of "The Week" magazine - the magazine which gives a digest of the week's news from home and abroad, and which "plopped" through our letterbox just last Friday, would you believe!

And yes, you've guessed it - Lois's "hackles" have been very justifiably raised, by yet another story of a woman scientist who made a ground-breaking discovery, but who - guess what! - has been left out of the history books, in favour of her less insightful male colleague! 

What madness!

(left) Yours Truly, showcasing our copy of "The Week" magazine, and (right)

the shocking article which has, justifiably, raised Lois's hackles a bit today

Yes, it was actually a woman, Columbia University oceanographer Marie Tharpe, who, back in the 1950's, working in her own living-room on the available data, first mapped the Atlantic Ocean, with all its underwater ridges, valleys, trenches, gullies and rifts, although - predictably perhaps - the credit went to her male colleague Bruce Heezen. 

At the time, the "orthodoxy" in the world of oceanography, was that oceans was that all the earth's land, being rock, the fundament on which we live, were structurally static. 

Tharpe was one of the oceanographic heretics of the period, a so-called "drifter", as opposed to the more orthodox "fixers", who dominated the science. She had realised that, whether dry land or land under the sea, all land was essentially mobile, and volatile. Initially, however, she had to keep her views secret - in those crazy, far-off days, you could actually be fired for being a "drifter". What madness wasn't it! 

the map of the North Atlantic Ocean, showing the now-famous

Atlantic Ridge, published by Columbia University in 1957

Tharpe's view, that there was such a thing as the now famous "Atlantic Ridge" (see picture above), was initially dismissed in academic circles as "girl talk". And although eventually she managed to convince her male colleague Heezen, it wasn't enough to get her into the history books, however, and Heezen has generally got all the credit - what madness!!!!

20:00 So, in brief, despite the fact that we've been officially "retired" for exactly 20 years, today has been yet another busy day for Lois and me - no surprise there! How did we ever find the time to go to work, back in the day - it's totally crazy!!!!

(left) in the course of another busy Monday, I somehow find the time to get my 

first bite of Lois's home-made custard-affected apple-and-mincemeat tart, 

which I first got wind of a few days ago - see picture (right). Yum yum !!!!!

No peace for the wicked!!!! Not only do we have the 52 pages of "The Week" magazine to somehow "plough through" (!) today, we also have to somehow find the time to plan our Easter: visiting our daughter Alison and family on Easter Sunday, and then hosting them all for dinner here on Easter Monday evening, when Alison and husband Edward, plus their 3 teenage kids Josie Rosalind and Isaac will be dropping by, after the labours of their 4-day weekend are over and done with.

Ali and Edward will be exhausted from their gardening work, and the three kids will be exhausted from their school and college revision work.

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

We even found time today to drop by at Sainsbury's to buy 5 big chocolate Easter eggs, one each for Ali, Edward, and our 3 grandchildren. Plus.... 9 chocolate bunnies for all the little kids in our street, would you believe! Lois is so warm-hearted: what a woman I married !!!!!

we even find time somehow to drop by Sainsbury's

to buy 5 big chocolate Easter eggs for the family,

but also 9 chocolate bunnies for all the little kids 

on our street - awwww, Lois, is so warm-hearted !!!!!

At least Lois and I can relax tonight, with the remainder of BBC4's "Elaine Paige Evening", which we started watching yesterday.

A nice relaxing evening's viewing, with some truly great songs, and some truly great lyrics, many of them from the 1920's and 1930's, and all treated with a lightness of touch, like this scene, a reimagining of an Anglo-American couple, a photographer and an advertising designer, going back in time, to visit the Blue Angel nightclub in the inflation-hit Weimar Germany of the 1920s. 

At the Blue Angel, everything on the menu is good, apparently, the waiter says, apart from the girls, who, needless to say, are bad (!).

And then, there are "those girls"..... (!)

Yes, you've guessed it - it's all by way of an intro into the floor show, and Cole Porter's marvellous "Anything Goes!" (1934).

But how nice tonight to hear some of the verses you don't hear so often, like these :

                                                    when every night, the set that's smart,

                                                    is indulging in nudist parties

                                                    in studios, anything goes!

                                                    When mothers pack and leave poor father,

                                                    Because they'd rather see tennis pro's,

                                                    Anything goes!

                                                    If driving fast cars you like,

                                                    If low bars you like, 

                                                    If old hymns you like, 

                                                    Or bare limbs you like,

                                                    If Mae West you like,

                                                    Or me undressed you like,

                                                    Well nobody will oppose!

                                                    Anything goes!!!

They don't write songs like that any more, do they! 

[Something to be grateful for there, perhaps! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Sunday March 29th 2026 "Friends, do YOU hate having to move tables, when you've just started 'tucking in' haha!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU just hate having to move tables in restaurant, especially after you've started eating?? It's the pits, isn't it!!!! 

You may have believed those times were over! But it happened recently to local man Derek Watney, according to the local Onion News for East Hampshire, at least - see page 94 !!!

Poor Watney!!!! 

But I've heard, "on the grapevine", that local man Watney received lots of sympathetic texts and phone calls after the story broke regionally, and then, both nationally and internationally after the story got picked up by "the nationals" (Times, Telegraph etc!) and then featured as the lead in the BBC World Service's early morning bulletins, which was nice! 

Kudos, Watney old man, fame at last haha!!!!

However, reading Watney's story in our Onion News print edition this morning, here in the rural, semi-leafy paradise that IS Liphook, Hampshire (!), my wife Lois and I find ourselves having to wipe a sympathetic tear from our respective eyes, which is heart-warming! 

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Usually accustomed to dining quietly together ourselves, we know we're in for a special treat at the Village Hall today, because it's Lois's church's monthly "shared lunch", where all members bring a dish or two to "throw into the mix" after the service is finished, which is nice! And Lois will be unveiling her acclaimed 'apple and mincemeat tart' which is sure to become a firm favourite with the assembled church crowd - yum yum!

What a bunch of "old codgers" we are, aren't we, or most of us, anyway!!!! And Yours Truly, who turned 80 this past week, would you believe (!), manages to keep secret his "significant birthday" long enough to prevent Chief Elder Richard from making an announcement about it - I'm essentially a very private person, as you know! 

Plus, I believe it's church policy not to announce attendees' birthdays till they're at least 90, so fair do's anyway haha!!!!

14:00 Lois and I drive home in time for a quick zoom call with our accountant daughter Sarah in Perth, Australia. Sarah started a new job over there last week, while still doing her old job in Evesham UK. 

Lois and I call her "Two Jobs Sarah".

our daughter Sarah (left): she's 9000 miles away in Perth, Australia,

but on the laptop zoom screen it looks like we're just 2 feet away from her, which is nice!

When we talked to her last week on our weekly catch-up call, we knew she'd had a bad first week at her new workplace, so it's nice this week to see her looking a lot more relaxed, and we can tell that she's finally "settling in" with her new Aussie 'team', which is nice.

(left) Sarah, second from right, with colleagues in Evesham UK,

and (right) leaving work at her Perth office in Australia 

15:30 Lois and I finally go upstairs for a much-delayed afternoon in bed. After the shared lunch we're feeling pleasantly full, not to say totally "stuffed" (!) - we won't need to have a proper meal tonight, so all the pressure's off, which is a nice feeling, to put it mildly!

19:00 We finally get to relax on the couch with musical theatre star Elaine Paige - not in person (!), just "on the telly" being interviewed by BBC radio DJ, Zoe Ball. Elaine has starred in many hit musicals, but is perhaps best known for playing Argentinian First Lady, Eva Peron, in "Evita".

Lots of surprises come out for Lois and me during this interview shown tonight on BBC4, to celebrate Elaine's 60 years on the stage, both on the London stage, and on Broadway.

Surprise number one is that the sweet, diminutive, seemingly prim and proper Elaine has a really dirty laugh - she makes a perfectly innocent but amusing remark and then breaks into this dirty little "gurgle", which makes you think she's said something really disgusting, which is nice!

Surprise number two is that Lois and I suddenly realise we've both seen Elaine naked, which is a bit of a shock, to put it mildly! 

During the early months of mine and Lois's "courtship", we went to a performance of the musical "Hair" at the Shaftesbury Theatre, London, where the multiple cast-members for a brief moment appeared without their clothes. 

flashback to the late 1960's: Lois and me in the Oxfordshire 

countryside in the early days of our courtship

It was total madness, that performance of 'Hair', but that was what the world was like in those crazy, far-off days, 56 years or so ago! We'd never heard of Elaine back then - she was a comparative unknown at the time, but she must have been there, right in front of us, "baring her all", as we cowered in our seats! 

What madness!!!

And funny to recall that the show's first performance on stage in 1968 was temporarily delayed a few weeks, while the company waited for Parliament to abolish the Theatres Act of 1737: the law which had given the Queen's Lord Chamberlain the power to censor plays for sexual content, and which had outlawed nudity on stage. 

What a crazy country we live in !!!! But what a time it was, back in the 1960's.....!!!!

 

And tonight, Elaine recalls the slightly chaotic, and very informal, atmosphere in the theatre during the show's five years on the London stage. "The audience would come in and we'd sit on their laps and chat to them before the performance, and during the intervals.", she remembers.

Amen to that haha!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!