Wednesday September 2nd 2026 "Has YOUR town been 'spawning' any 'startups' recently? Blink and you might miss them haha!!!!"

Yes, Friends, has YOUR town been 'spawning' any little 'startup' companies or businesses lately? Some of them don't last long, so the trick is to take a photograph of them before they 'fold'!  

It's all total madness, as you'll see, "in spades" from some of the headlines in this morning's Onion News, to put it mildly!!!!!

Wow, just 45 minutes for that particular start-up - that's "going it", isn't it!!! But that same plucky little enterprise could eventually find fame in the history books as a so-called 'disruptor', if nothing else. So, on reflection, who knows what impact that little startup's 45 minutes will have in the longer term! 

I wonder....!!! But we live in exciting times, no question about that!!!!!

And all those stories in this morning's Onion News bring a vapid glint of a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, because even quiet little Liphook, Hampshire (population: 7,436), where we live, is currently hosting a so-called 'startup', would you believe: that new coffee-shop-cafe with the mysterious name, "The Moon and Cous", which is currently 'making waves' in our little town's even-more-miniscule, so-called "entertainment quarter"!

(left) my wife Lois and me, being 'photobombed' recently by favourite stuffed-toy, 

beloved 'Floppy Dog', and (right) Liphook's "in" and  very much "trending" new meeting-point, 

the cafe with the mysterious name, "The Moon and Cous" - what madness !!!!

And we make our mould-breaking first visit to Liphook's new "epicentre" (!) this very Wednesday morning specifically in order to do a quick "catch-up" with our daughter Alison and her "middle child" Rosalind (18), who drive over today from the family home in nearby Churt, just over the county line in Surrey. 

Young Rosalind is on the cusp of a really exciting development in her life. Later this month she'll be starting a 4-year degree course in International Politics and Danish at UCL (University College London), with a year out in Denmark, a country the family know well, having lived in Copenhagen for 6 years from 2012 to 2018. 

(left) Liphook's new cafe with the mysterious name, with [inset] our daughter 

Alison and granddaughter Rosalind (18), who Lois and I meet there today, and (right)

flashback to 2017: us dropping Rosalind (centre) and siblings off at their Danish school

Awwwww!!!! See how tiny they looked, back in the day!!!!!!

But at the same time, "Kudos, Rosalind - you go, girl !!!!!"

However, Rosalind's future as, maybe the UK's Ambassador to Denmark (?), is second on our agenda today as we sip our coffee and munch politely on our coffee-and-walnut cake. The big question is why Liphook's new fashionable 'watering-hole' is called "The Moon and Cous", of all things (!) - quite the mystery isn't it!!!!

Lois and I had wondered, idly, whether the new cafe's crazy name was because everything on the menu had 'couscous' in it, even the drinks perhaps, but that plainly isn't the case, to judge from the reviews posted by local residents, which we checked out before our visit there today!

And when paying the bill and leaving, we can't resist asking our waitress about the origin of the cafe's curious name, and she reveals, exclusively, that it's because the owner's name is Mar-cus, and hence the somewhat 'whacky' name - so mystery solved?  I wonder.....!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? Had coffee and cake in a new cafe? - Ed]

Absolutely not, seeing as how you ask!!! Dubbed by neighbours "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", we also somehow find time today to enjoy 30-minutes of "squelching" on the "hallowed, not to say, drenched (!), turf" which is home to local soccer heroes Liphook United, no less!!!!

us this morning, after 30 minutes of "squelching" (!) on the "hallowed turf"

of local soccer heroes Liphook United, currently "languishing" at position no.7

in the iconic East Hampshire Premier League's latest league-table, which is exciting!

Also today, we even somehow manage to "squeeze in" an entertaining 2 hours in bed this afternoon for "statutory nap-time",  somehow also managing to keep up to date with news from home and abroad via our little mobiles, which are comically, not to say 'manically' (!) vibrating under the bedclothes all afternoon, would you believe!

And today the big news is new Labour Party premier Andy Burnham's first "PMQs" with Conservative opposition leader Kemi Badenoch, in the House of Commons, a confrontation which poor Andy seems to "survive", at least, according to reports (!).

The BBC comments that Burnham, who wants to build the less confrontational "consensus" style of politics that the public obviously wants too, unfortunately also has to cope, on a weekly basis, with the UK's deeply "adversarial" constitution, which tends to delight in gladiatorial style confrontations between the party leaders, as exemplified by the dreaded PMQs, which is a pity! What madness, isn't it !!!

Poor Andy!!!!!

Later, Steve, our American brother-in-law, who, I'm ashamed to say, knows far more about UK politics than we do, texts us direct from Philadelphia  with this "doozy" of a snippet about some of Burnham's other scheduled activities today (!):

(left) a "doozy" of a snippet texted us tonight from Philadelphia by Steve, our American 

brother-in-law, and (right) the scene at the British Museum today, when King Charles

views the famous Bayeux Tapestry with Andy Burnham, and also French President Macron

Steve's "snippet" expresses the view that if there's a tear in Burnham's eye today, it'll be a tear of relief that he's earlier survived his first proper back-and-forth with feisty Opposition Leader Kemi Badenoch.

Lois and I think, however, that Kemi herself will be relieved that she lost the election, and so doesn't have to look at the Bayeux Tapestry today, surprisingly! You see, the celebrated 1000-year-old tapestry, which depicts the 1066 victory of the Normans, under William the Conqueror, over King Harold's Anglo-Saxon army, is also famously rude, with a huge "penis-tally", as the Guardian reported last year.

Yes, it's been known for seven years now, that there is a certified tally of 93 penises that got sewn by English seamstresses into the tapestry: some of the penises belonging to the Norman invaders and some to the Anglo-Saxon defenders, although most of them belonging to their horses, so that particular figure is very much a "given", and not disputed by experts.

However, last year, Steve told us that some bright spark (!) - step forward noted tapestry scholar Dr Christopher Monk, no less! - claimed that he had found the much-speculated-on, 94th phallus, although Oxford University Professor George Garnett, who found the original 93 phalluses, thinks that Monk's "phallus" is just the scabbard of a sword or dagger, so the jury's still out on that one, which is exciting!

  

(left) a Norman invader sporting possibly the Bayeux Tapestry's legendary 94th phallus,

and (right) me giving a talk on the tapestry to an online meeting of my local U3A

"Intermediate Middle English for Old Codgers" group, where "muggins-here", Yours Truly

(above, centre) had to carefully  "skirt round" the phallus issue, no pun intended (!)

I don't suppose either Queen Camilla or Macron's wife Brigitte will turn a hair when viewing the phalluses - they're probably both used to that kind of 'malarkey', but we're not so sure about Kemi - although your views welcome (postcards only !!!!) !!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!!

Tuesday September 1st 2026 "Have YOU bought tickets to see 'The Odyssey' yet? They're selling fast, my spies tell me!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU read about Christopher Nolan's latest hit film "The Odyssey" yet? Tickets are selling fast, my spies tell me (!), even before the film "premieres", in its regional East Hampshire 'manifestation', which is as good indicator as anything of a sure-fire hit, no question about that!

But don't take my word for it! The East Hampshire edition of Onion News has more on that story - so check your copy, and do it now!!!!

Poor Zeus! 

But just a thought from "Yours Truly" here... Could Zeus's troubling 'extramarital affairs with nymphs, goddesses, and mortals' be an idea for Nolan's next epic, maybe with one of today's 'happening' teen 'heart-throbs' like, say, Aussie pop-star Jason Donovan, or similar, in the title role, maybe?

I wonder....!

Be that as it may (!), today's Onion News entertainment headlines certainly bring a hint of a vapid smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, as we do our '30 minutes of squelching' (!), on the hallowed turf of local soccer heroes, Liphook United today, that's for sure! 

And busy though we undoubtedly are today, 'as per usual' (!), we even somehow find time this morning to stop by the run-down clubhouse windows to check player-manager Steve Harding's latest team selection for Saturday's East Hampshire Premier League "grudge match" against local deadly rivals Netley, the much-feared "Dock-Leafers", of all the teams they could have been drawn against!

Go "The Hookers" !!!!!

And, as we walk, Lois and I are also laughing for a good reason about Nolan's "Zeus-less" epic "The Odyssey", because the Trojan War, which features so prominently in the soon-to-be-hit film, is very much on our minds currently, would you believe!

As you will know, the film's story (based on true events) kicks off with the Greeks besieging the city of Troy, then getting fed up after 10 years and pretending to give up and go home, but leaving behind a massive Wooden Horse, supposedly as an offering to the gods for their safe passage home to Greece. 

And the gullible Trojans, when they see that the Greeks seem to have gone home, then wheel the big Horse-statue into the city, unaware that it's full of armed Greeks hiding inside - "It's become a bit of a cliche, but it might just work", as one of the Greek leaders had reportedly suggested - what madness, you say, but in fact it did work, and "in spades" !!!!

And by total coincidence, Lois and I will be starting today, after the long summer break, on our preparation for next Monday's meeting of our local U3A "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers Group", where Roman author Virgil's version of the Trojan War will be on the table, and in its original language, Latin, which will be something of a challenge!

And we'll be keen to find out, if the modern studies are true, the ones indicating that "the Trojans must have been crazy to lead the giant Wooden Horse into their city, given that, at times, 'loud giggling'  was clearly to be heard from inside its wooden 'ribs'".

I wonder.....!!!! 

flashback to last winter: the local U3A "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" group

in full session: group leader Joe at the whiteboard explaining some point of grammar

to his mostly-female group members, jocularly called "Joe's harem" - what madness!!!

20:00 What a day! And limited to only a couple of hours in bed this afternoon for 'statutory nap-time', Lois and I are "plumb tuckered out" by evening (!), and glad to "veg out" by watching a re-run of noted TV playwright Alan Ayckbourn's flagship, iconic 1972 masterpiece "Absurd Person Singular".

An enjoyable evening, but Lois and I just wonder if playwright Alan Ayckbourn made a tactical error in keeping fractious couple Geoff and Eva's terrifying dog George "off camera" throughout the play. It's a tactic which certainly adds to the general air of menace, but totally misses an imaginative portrayal of the dog's more thoughtful and inventive side, which is a pity. 

The ferocious dog's more intellectual qualities are only referred to in passing, in this iconic scene from one of the dinner parties, where Eva 'unloads'  about George the dog to close friend Sidney.

Poor George!!!! 

And how frustrating it must be for George just to be used for his skills in scaring off intruders, and not for his ground-breaking ideas and ability to "think outside the box", or should I say "outside the cage"?  [No! - Ed]

Is there scope for a sequel exploring, and celebrating, the world of George's imagination and breadth of vision perhaps, if Ayckbourn is still around?

I wonder.....!

  

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Monday August 31st 2026 "Have YOU ever been 'sick'? Or maybe 'sick of' being sick, or sick of something completely different?"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever been sick? Or 'sick of' something, maybe? It's been called 'the modern disease', hasn't it, and with temperatures dropping all over the UK as autumn approaches, so-called 'sicknesses' of one sort or another are dominating the press today, no question about that! Just pick up your copy of this morning's Onion News print edition if you want to get the full 'low-down' !!!!

"Makes you sick", doesn't it, haha!!!! And today's headlines about our modern so-called "sick world" are certainly helping to bring a weak smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois today, here in damp-affected Liphook, Hampshire - so that's all good!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Poor Lois has herself been feeling QUOTE "not 100%" UNQUOTE  for the last couple of days, but it's difficult to get the correct percentage down to more than a few decimal points, so I'm not going to put the "numbers" too much under the spotlight here, which is probably for the best!

The 'bottom line' is that Lois is determined not to let her reported 'sore throat' symptoms stop her enjoying herself, and she insists on 'powering through' with our usual morning walk over the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer specialists Liphook United. And she is also being irrepressibly spirited and boisterous, both during our morning walk and even during afternoon 'statutory nap-time', and so, fingers crossed, this 'tough medicine' is going to 'see off' her threatened full-scale cold, so we'll see. 

Watch this space, over the coming hours, for any last-minute 'news updates' !!!!

Lois and me this morning, with Lois insisting on doing our morning walk

over Liphook United's 'hallowed turf' despite her sore throat etc, and (right)

us passing the ground's iconic children's playground, deserted for the Bank Holiday (!)

It's certainly very quiet  on our walk, but maybe that's because (a) the weather is damp and miserable, and (b) it's a Bank Holiday (!) - a combination of factors that, over the years, some experts have linked, by the way: some even calling it  'causal', and certainly the stats don't lie! However, it's the last such holiday until Christmas, so we might as well enjoy it, damp or no damp - that's what Lois and I say !!!!!

And it's nice to know that today's UK Bank Holiday is bringing joy to at least one other person, 9000 miles away in Perth, Australia, would you believe! Yes, step forward our daughter Sarah, whom we call "Sarah Two-Jobs" (!). She's not just a busy accountant for a firm in Perth, but she's also continuing to do her former accountancy job in Evesham UK. And Lois and I always let Sarah know if there's a UK Bank Holiday coming up, because it makes her 'visibly less stressed' to know that her Evesham co-workers won't be at work today, allowing some of her 'UK deadlines' to slip 24 hours, which is a great comfort, and a significant 'morale-booster', she tells us, which is nice !!!!

(left) our daughter Sarah with colleagues at the accountancy firm in Evesham UK,

and (right) leaving her office in Perth, when Lois and I picked her up on our last trip there

Poor Sarah !!!!!

20:00 Evening fallas, and, at last getting a moment to collapse on the couch, and with Lois still reporting that her sore throat seems to be going away, we get the chance to 'kick back' and relax at last, and not before time!

At least on our screens tonight, noted film actor Richard E Grant is on hand to "spirit us away" from England's dampness  to sunny Mediterranean skies in the last programme in his celebrity literary travelogue series, "A Very Modern Odyssey", on Channel 4. 

There's admittedly only a very thin justification for Grant's series, which is supposedly based on the route taken by Ancient Greek hero Odysseus, after he left the Trojan War and 'took the scenic route' back to Ithaca, and back to the welcoming arms of wife Penelope. In his absence, "Penny" was then being 'courted' by, like, a billion horny 'suitors', all trying to convince her that Odysseus wasn't going to be coming home any time soon, so why not have a little fun 'between the sheets' with one or other of them., as they explained to her (!).

What madness, though, wasn't it!!!!

the 'scenic route' taken by Greek hero Odysseus, leaving Troy

at the end of the Trojan War, and eventually finding his way back

to his home in Ithaca, and to his long-suffering wife Penelope

Despite the programme's rather 'dubious' link to Homer's great epic "The Odyssey", the series still has lots of fascinating bits to it. 

Lois and I didn't know (or had forgotten) that the lovely faraway Mediterranean island of Corfu, which was on Odysseus' route home, formed part of the British Empire for almost 50 years, from 1815 to 1864. The Royal Navy apparently kicked Napoleon's forces out of the island in 1815 at the end of the Napoleonic Wars, and the British evidently decided that it was nice enough in Corfu to stay a bit longer (!). 

flashback to around 1830: British troops parading in Corfu

Most of the rest of Greece was then currently occupied by the Ottoman Turks, so I think that the natives of Corfu probably thought that we British were a 'less bad option' if they were going to be ruled by anybody foreign, and the Brits at least had the grace to withdraw from the island eventually, in 1864, when Greek independence in general was becoming 'a thing', so that was all good!

Astonishingly, while 'occupying' Corfu, we Brits somehow also found the time to teach the natives how to play cricket, and the game is still flourishing there, with 6 local cricket teams, Grant reports, some of them 'fielding' the occasional woman-player [no pun intended!!!], which is nice!

"Well played, Sir (or Madam, as the case may be!)!", and "Good shot Sir/Madam" !!!

Before the British arrived in 1815, however, the island had had a long history of foreign occupation, for substantial periods forming part of Venice's Empire, and tonight we see the ever-charming Grant watching a demonstration of a Venetian dance called the Furlana, still popular amongst the "Corfiots", as natives of the island are called.

In a bygone era, the women's exquisite, eye-catching outfits weren't just costumes but also ceremonial dresses signifying social status and marriage eligibility, i.e. whether the woman was a virgin or not, so a big "giveaway" (!).

But wait, there's more! 

The number of ribbons in the woman's outfit told you how big a queue there was to marry the virgin concerned, which was another useful "time-saver" for the Corfiot man-about-town, no question about that!!!! 

So, the moral was that you didn't set your sights on any woman who had too many ribbons, especially if you were short of time, and eager to 'get on with it' (!).

Oh dear, that's a bummer!!!!

Poor Corfiot virgin !!!!!

But what a mad world they lived in, in those crazy, far-off times!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!