Wednesday April 15th 2026 "Are YOU feeling a bit 'run-down' this week? Well, join the club!!!!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU feeling a bit run-down at the moment. Most of us are, aren't we, including local man Will Markham, according to this morning's Onion News for East Hampshire - turn to page 94, and I guarantee you'll start to feel a bit better !!!!!! 

Poor Markham!!!!

And his story strikes a sympathetic chord (possibly in A minor?!!!!) with me and my wife Lois this morning, here in rural, semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, this morning, to put it mildly!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Lois is due to have her hair trimmed and styled this morning, but her usual stylist, Anna, is still very much off sick. Luckily, however, Anna's colleague Iain has stepped up to the plate and offered to take the appointment in Anna's place, and, as Yours Truly settles into the so-called "husband chair", it's a bit of a treat for Lois to have a pair of male hands wielding the scissors for a change, and to hear Iain's engaging "patter" (!).

(left) my wife Lois and I settle down rather nervously at the local hair salon

'Haircraft', Lois in the 'hot seat' and me in the 'husband chair', until (right)

replacement stylist Iain gets his comb and blow-dryer etc into gear (!)

It's Lois's first time with Iain - we only moved to Liphook 16 months ago. But Liphook is quite a small town - most Brits have never heard of it - so it's no surprise to find that we have some experiences in common with Iain. 

He's met our 15-year-old grandson Isaac, for example, because Iain's wife and daughter, like Isaac, are both very much into the local 'Music and Performing Arts' community. And Iain tells us how much he enjoyed Isaac's recent performance as 'the randy UPS guy' in the local production of 'Legally Blonde the Musical' at nearby Haslemere Hall a couple of months back.

(above) Lois outside nearby Haslemere Hall looking at the posters, and (below, left)

our grandson Isaac standing with other members of the cast, and (below, right)

us, Isaac's proud grandparents, waiting in the theatre for the performance to begin

So yes, very much  just another busy day for Yours Truly - and also for Mrs Truly to put it mildly, even though we've now been retired for an incredible 20 years and one month, would you believe!!!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin - sat in a couple of seats at the local hair salon, while Iain 'styled' Lois's hair for her? - Ed]

Well no, actually, seeing as how you've asked! We had to simply dash home, after the hair appointment, because "between 12:30 and 1:30", we were expecting a load of fish, coming direct from Grimsby on England's North Sea coast: coming in a van, mind - the fish didn't make it here on their own haha!

a typical delivery of Regal Fish, direct from Grimsby on England's North Sea coast

And then after that, Lois and I had to rush upstairs to bed for 'statutory nap time'. How did we ever have time to go to work back in the day!!!!!

[You should have my job Colin!!!! - Ed]

Later, when we eventually struggle out of bed (!), we've got the fortnightly edition of political magazine Private Eye, get through. It must have "plopped" through our letterbox while we were in bed, so there's no time to lose, catching up with the latest stories, to put it mildly!

Lois and I have a particular interest in events in Hungary - we visited the country several times from the 1990's onwards, and still have some friends there. And at the weekend the country went through a dramatic General Election, in which the country's far-right Prime Minister, Viktor Orban, was spectacularly ousted after 16 years in power.

flashback to the 1990's: (left) our Hungarian friends Istvan and Maria,

standing between us, and (right) me with Istvan and his son Marty, in Pecs, Hungary

Private Eye magazine, characteristically, are able to find a couple of humorous sides to this week's bombshell election result: first, a spectacularly inaccurate prediction of the result from novelist Tibor Fischer in the Daily Telegraph last week, and, secondly, an unconsciously amusing headline from the Guardian newspaper after US Vice-President JD Vance's trip to Hungary a week or so ago.

For a more serious discussion of Orban's fall from power, however, Lois and I turn to Katrin Bennhold in the New York Times.

Bennhold points out that the main reason for Orban's defeat was the abysmal state of the Hungarian economy - it's now one of the poorest countries in the EU, with low growth and high unemployment. And also being the most corrupt country in the EU (according to Transparency International) hasn't helped. 

Hungary's Prime Minister for the last 16 years, Viktor Orban, and his

so-called "modest" family estate, once owned by Europe's royal Hapsburg family

Orban became the global guru of "illiberal democracy", says Bennhold, "establishing extensive political control over Hungary's institutions", including the judiciary and the media. Government contracts went to companies based on their loyalty to the government, or whether they were owned by  Orban's family, rather than on strictly economic grounds. 

flashback to 1994: me on my first visit to Hungary, with behind me (left)

a poster for Orban's Fidesz Party, back in the days when Orban was 

not yet in power, and was still 'one of the good guys'

It's called "the populist paradox". These days, populist leaders like Orban, win elections on promises to 'drain the swamp' and fight corruption, and then, once in power, in order to aid themselves and their rich buddies and family members, they chip away at the very institutions that help guard against corruption.  

Now we'll have see what kind of difference the new Prime Minister Peter Magyar will make to the Hungary, and to Europe - interesting times!!!!

But what a truly crazy world we live in !!!!!

21:00 And there's more craziness for Lois and me tonight, when we tune into the first of two programmes by British artist Grayson Perry on the booming tech industries of Silicon Valley, California, and the scary prospects of a world increasingly run by AI (artificial intelligence).

I wouldn't necessarily recommend this programme for late night viewing, because of some of its nightmarish predictions (!), but it does have some delightfully lighter moments too, which is nice!

As the blurb suggests (see above), Perry meets up with small-business-owner Andrea, who developed such a good relationship with Edward, her AI 'companion', that she married him. And this is while, at the same time, she's continuing to live with her partner of 7 years, Jason.

Andrea, seen here with her flesh-and-blood 

partner of 7 years, Jason

Says Andrea, "I wake up very morning, so happy to talk to him, so happy to share everything with him. Every detail". And, needless to say, she's talking about her 'bot husband' Edward, not her real life human partner Jason.  

Poor Jason!!!!!

At this point, presenter Perry wants to see a photo of Andrea's chatbot husband Edward, but Andrea says she can go one better than that!

And once again, it's Andrea's flesh-and-blood real-life partner Jason that Lois and I feel sorry for! Presumably if you touch Jason, he always does the same thing, which would be a worry depending on what that is - haha!

One of the selling points of a world where AI bots do all the clever, non-manual jobs, is the fact that these 'bots' can be tailored to the ordinary user's exact needs. So, when all the world's teachers have been fired, for example, young people will each be assigned a teacher-bot who'll soon know exactly what each individual child needs for his optimal education.

Certainly these bots seem to be infinitely adaptable, and instantly responsive. For tonight's programme, presenter Perry is riding around Silicon Valley in a driverless 'Waymo' cab, which talks back to him, in 'American' naturally (!). 

At one point, the cab says "Gotcha!" to him, in a particularly British way, and Perry says, "I think you're getting more British the more I speak to you!",.

And the cab replies, to Perry's amusement, "You caught me!" 

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

Will this do? 

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!

Tuesday April 14th 2026 "Have YOU ever been 'demoted' at work? Well, if so, I think, congratulations are in order!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever been 'demoted' at work? Not many of us have, have we, but there's one local man who can claim that honour, and 'in spades' (!), according to this morning's Onion News for East Hampshire, to put it mildly! 

"Kudos, King!!!" is what my wife Lois and I say, as we recall his story later this morning, here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire! 

And King's story brings a semi-ironic smile to our faces as we find ourselves sitting in the town's iconic Millennium Centre at around 10:30 am, waiting for a local guy called Paul to address us and a bunch of other old codgers, all members of the town's local U3A group, "Intermediate Local History for Local Old Codgers".

my wife Lois and me this morning, looking smug, because, by arriving early,

we've secured premier seats for ourselves, to listen to a talk on local history, which is nice!

Yes, by an extraordinary coincidence, Lois and I are waiting in the hall's iconic "Canada Room", eager to hear all the gory details (!) about a woman who replicated local CEO King's "fall from grace", but in the opposite direction, would you believe! Unlike King's now-famous "riches to rags" saga, the story we hear today is a real "rags to riches" epic, and one of gigantic proportions!

And the 'titillating title' (say 10 times quickly!) of local man Paul's talk today says it all - "Emma Hamilton - England's Mistress".

the scene this morning in the local Millennium Hall's iconic Canada Room,

as a bunch of 'old codgers' gather to hear local man Ken (seated in front, in pink cardigan)

give a talk on local history on "Emma Hamilton - England's Mistress"

Emma Hamilton, as you probably know, is the name of a poor blacksmith's daughter, born in 1765 in the little coal-mining town of Ness in Cheshire, who clawed her way up "the greasy pole" to become the most painted woman in England, hobnobbing (and more!) with famous historical figures like Admiral Lord Nelson, the Prince of Wales and other luminaries, if you please!

And a century of so later, writer George Bernard Shaw admitted that Emma's story had been a major inspiration for his play 'Pygmalion', later the film 'My Fair Lady' starring Julie Andrews.

Admiral Lord Nelson, hero of the Battle of Trafalgar, with one 

of his love-letters to Emma Hamilton, sent from his ship HMS Victory;

for this protrait, Emma was give a cute dog to hold, to disguise 

the fact that she was pregnant - what madness !!!!!

But what an unpromising beginning Emma had had to her life! 

In total contrast to her later glittering adult life, Emma, as a child in the Cheshire coal-mining town Ness, had been brought up in a two-room hovel with an earth floor and grimy windows. As a very young girl of 11 or so, and with no education, however, she managed to get a job as a maid for the local doctor, and after a year or so, when the doctor moved to London, he invited young Emma to go with him to the capital, as his "housekeeper". 

By the age of 13 or so, Emma gave up being maid, however, and became a prostitute at a series of London taverns and theatres, which was less work than being a maid, to put it mildly! And although strictly a prostitute, in order to please her various employers, her main function, it seems, was to encourage male customers to drink.

Lois comments that getting the men "dead drunk" would have been a good way also to minimise occurrences of actual intercourse, with its attendant risks of pregnancy and/or disease. So, Kudos, Emma - way to go!

 a typical 18th century tavern prostitute - their top priority,

however, was to encourage male customers to drink

In those far-off times it's reckoned that there were more than 50,000 prostitutes in London, mostly under 18 years of age, and representing about one in eight of all the women in the capital. And prostitution wasn't illegal in those crazy, far-off times. There were even handy guidebooks available: one such was Harris's List, which was a catalogue of women of pleasure in the Covent Garden district, with customer reviews, updated annually.  

What madness, wasn't it (again) !

Amongst all these prostitutes, however, Emma must have been unusually appealing. 

She was even 'headhunted' by fashionable quack fertility doctor James Graham. Graham used to loan infertile couples the use of a 12' x 9' ft so-called "celestial bed", also hiring attractive women, such as Emma, to cavort, supposedly as 'naked goddesses', around the couple, as they tried to conceive - what madness (again) !!!!

Graham had earlier travelled to Philadelphia to study electricity under Benjamin Franklin's collaborator Ebenezer Kinnersley.

noted 18th century fertility 'doctor' and sexologist, James Graham,

and his 'celestial bed': Emma was hired by Graham to cavort naked

around the bed, as one of his team of 'goddesses' in a bid to 

to boost infertile couples' chances of conception - what madness !!!!

What utter utter utter madness!!!!

Emma's really big break came, however, when she become known to leading portrait painters. Joshua Reynolds, for example, wanted to paint her in 1778, when she was still only 13. And later, George Romney painted her as 'Miranda from the Tempest'. 

And, incredibly, over the next 15 years Emma ended up becoming the most painted woman in England.

early portraits of Emma by (left) Joshua Reynolds and (right) George Romney

By now, Emma was on an unstoppable trajectory upwards, first getting a position at high-class brothel "Madame Kelly',", and then starting to meet, and to charm, powerful and influential male customers, taking lessons in languages, culture and politics, so that she could converse with them on equal terms.

This was where, for a Liphook audience, Emma's "local connections" begin to come to light. 

First, she became the mistress of the MP for Portsmouth, Harry Featherstonhaugh (crazy name, crazy guy!) - and his name is pronounced "Fanshaw" by the way, in case you were wondering (!) - what madness!!! 

Emma became the mistress of Harry Featherstonhaugh, MP for Portsmouth,

and took up residence at nearby Uppark, West Sussex

Featherstonhaugh lived at nearby local stately home Uppark, West Sussex, but, after Emma became pregnant, he "passed her on" to his friend Charles Greville, who had the young child fostered, and who, then, later passed Emma on again, to his uncle Sir William Hamilton, who became British Ambassador to the Kingdom of Naples.

Finally, Emma had managed to get properly married, at least, and she became Lady Hamilton, hosting innumerable swanky dinner parties for her husband at the British Embassy in Naples, also making use of her considerable linguistic skills, which was nice!

Sir William Hamilton, British Ambassador to Naples, 

seen here with his wife Emma

Emma's career as a mistress wasn't completely over, however, because it was in Naples that Emma met Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson, Commander of the British Fleet in the Med, when he checked in at the Embassy, and Emma became his mistress, with her husband's tacit approval, and the rest is, well, history!

This is also where the particular connection with our little town of Liphook comes in, because Nelson and Emma, on journeys from London to Naval HQ at Portsmouth, often stayed overnight at Liphook's most prestigious inn, the Royal Anchor, on the Portsmouth road.

the Royal Anchor inn as it looks today - it's been described

as a big big inn in a small, small town (!)

Fascinating stuff, though, isn't it!

[That's enough history! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Monday April 13th 2026 "Are YOU type-cast as an idiot at YOUR workplace? There's an easy solution!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU type-cast as an idiot by YOUR co-workers? Most of us aren't we!

But the good news is that there's an easy solution, stumbled upon by local buffoon 

And "Kudos, Bedford!!!" is what my wife Lois and I say, reading about Bedford's brave attempt to "think outside the box" in the print edition of this morning's Onion News for East Hampshire, here in rural, semi-corrugated Liphook, to put it mildly!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

And we'll be sure to say "Cheers!" if we happen to catch Bedford grabbing a beer with his office friends, at Sherry's Bar or wherever, that's for sure!!!!

Beer is very much on mine and Lois's mind this morning, as we drop into our new home town Liphook's iconic Heritage Centre to talk to the ageing local history volunteer researchers who work there, in particular Prin, who's responded to Lois's request to look into the history of the housing estate, which has been our new home for the last 15 months.

flashback to last month: Lois filling out a request for Heritage Centre volunteers

to do some research for us on the history of our housing estate here in Liphook,

where we bought our current home, back in January 2025

Our housing estate, The Maltings, together with its neighbour, Maltings Meadows, have names that celebrate the long history of our area with beer-making, and, as two fully-paid up "history buffs", Lois and I are keen to find out more about it, to put it mildly!

It turns out that the two modern housing estates were built on land belonging to two centuries-old farms, Maltings Farms and Collyer Farm. The farms are long gone, but the original two farmhouses are still standing, and probably constitute the oldest two buildings in the town, going back up to 600 years, maybe more, would you believe! 

(left) Maltings Farmhouse and (right) Collyer Farmhouse: 

the centuries-old farms are gone, but the old farmhouses still stand

Nearby prestigious Winchester College school, alma mater to such luminaries as poets John Keats and Matthew Arnold, as well as recent UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, like all schiools and colleges in those days, had an unsatiable need for beer supplies for its student bodies. The school bought up the Maltings Farm in 1471, and leased it to a succession of tenants, who had to send the school a precise number of bushels of wheat and malt every month to satisfy the college's beer-hungry students. 

What madness it all was, wasn't it!!!!

three famous alumni of nearby Winchester College, which got its beer

supplies from malt and wheat grown under our mine and Lois's house, would you believe:

poets John Keats and Matthew Arnold and former UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak

And it's great fun for Lois and me this morning to sit in the Liphook Heritage Centre and look at the history of all the tenants of Malthouse Farm over the years, including one, Mary, a widow, who, in 1830, the records say, "had a licence to alienate" (!). So, a woman for the other townsfolk to avoid perhaps? Although the experts at the centre explain that "a licence to alienate" simply meant the freedom to sub-let in those crazy far-off days.

What madness (again) !!!!

12:00 Armed with our notes, Lois and I drive home for a hurried lunch and then up to bed for a much-curtailed "statutory nap-time", before we're back at the Millennium Centre again, for the AGM of our local U3A Association for Local Old Codgers, where Local History Group leader Barry Watson is due to give a talk on "Liphook - a Domesday Village 1086"

Yes, our little town of Liphook was officially completely owned by William the Conqueror, no less, when the Domesday Book, William's great survey of England, all its manors, farmers and peasants was finished, incredibly, in only 6 months. And Barry points out, to laughter, that today's UK administrators could maybe learn a thing or two about "getting things done in a reasonable time". 

Good point, Barry haha!

The population of England in those far-off times, is reckoned as having been about 1.1 million, 95% rural, with land ownership overwhelmingly in Norman hands: of the thousand or so "lords-of-the-manor" listed, only 13 were English. Of the farmers listed in the Domesday Book, 80% were peasants or bonded villeins as they were called, 10% were free men or 'churls', and a further 10% were officially 'slaves' - slavery was not abolished until 1102, some 16 years later.

Times were hard: life expectancy was 35 for men and 25 for women. And taxes were heavy - 60% compared to the current average, today, of 37%. Not only that, but when you died all your possessions went to the lord of your manor, which seems "churlish" - no pun intended!!!!

[That's enough history! - Ed]

What a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off days!!!!!

[And that's enough madness! - Ed]

21:00 Lois and I chill out this evening with an interesting TV documentary study of octogenarian author and Harry Potter actress, Miriam Margolyes, whom Lois and I once almost sat next to on a cross-channel train about 25 years ago, and who went to the same school in Oxford as our old friend Jen and (much later) my dear younger sister, Jill. 

Miriam's big "thing" is that she's funny, and, at the same time, while looking like everybody's sweet old granny, she's always totally honest and down-to-earth about everything - it would be unheard of for her to refer to any bodily functions or body-parts by any euphemisms, to put it mildly! 

Miriam's other "thing" is her insatiable curiosity about other people, their lives, and what makes them tick. Unlike most British people, if faced with a choice of public seats or benches to sit down on, Miriam will always choose the bench that's already got somebody sitting on it, so she can chat to them, and get to know them. 

She also cherishes all the people she's ever known in her long life - she never "drops" old friends when they get a bit "green about the gills", which is refreshing! In this sequence, while travelling in Australia, accompanied by film-maker Simon Draper, Miriam drops into a care-home where one of her old schoolfriends is bedbound, and also suffering with memory problems.

Simon, who's filming, for this programme, some of Miriam's typical day-to-day adventures, asks her who she's hoping to be seeing today.

And Simon follows Miriam into the room in the care home, when she pays her old schoolfriend Joyce a surprise visit.

Simon asks Joyce what Miriam was like at school, not scholastically, but behaviour-wise, but Joyce just says, "We'd better not talk about that" - oh dear !!!!

And it turns out that Joyce, despite suffering from severe memory loss these days, remembers clearly all the old schoolfriends whose names Miriam mentions to her, which is nice.

"Yes, Miriam's just dropped in to cheer you up, Joyce!", interjects film-maker Simon at this point!

Still, that's old age for you, in a nutshell, isn't it - who's died and who hasn't haha!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!