Tuesday June 2nd 2026 "Have YOU heard where golfers are going to be "swinging their stuff" in the US this year?"

Yes, Friends, have you heard the latest golfing news from the States? Astonishing, isn't it, but, what with this week's inclement weather, the US golfing powers-that-be have been thinking "outside the box" in their response to "the meteorology", and doing it with "drive" - no pun intended!!!!

Today's Onion News has more...

Kudos, that man!!!

And reading this story brings a half-arsed smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in partly-picturesque Liphook, Hampshire, no question about that!

my wife Lois and me, pictured here on our near-daily walk, which today

takes us over the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes, Liphook United

And there's an extra spring in our step this morning, because, after a few minutes of 'havering', we've made the decision, a wise one we think, given the horrendous weather forecast, not to join Lois's fellow-church members in their scheduled outing this afternoon to stately home Mottisfont House and Gardens in the far west of the county.

Even the local birds seem to approve our decision, to judge from the number that have turned out specially to greet us with their joyful songs!

us this morning as we pass the iconic 'clubroom' of local soccer giants Liphook United,

taking time to note the birdsong of local birds, who seem to approve our plans for today!

It's a great pity that we won't have the company of church-members today, but, with those thunderstorms now literally on their way over the Atlantic to the UK, according to the horrendous forecasts, we think it would be sheer folly to attempt the 50-mile over to Mottisfont, and then spend our time in Mottisfont's justly-famed Rose Gardens dodging about with umbrellas and the like, just for 30 minutes of 'squelching', through all the accumulated mud (!)

(left) the 50-mile route we had planned to take to Mottisfont, which is almost as remote

as faraway Salisbury, Wiltshire, and (right) the house with its famous Rose Garden

It would be total madness, no doubt about that!!!! And so much better to just 'hunker down' under the bedclothes, while the storms rage outside - a 'no-brainer' if ever I heard one!!!!

(left) today's horrendous weather forecast, and (right) the obvious solution

- to just 'hunker down' under the bedclothes, while the storms rage outside!

It'll also be a pity to miss seeing the old grand old house at Mottisfont, but Lois and I tell each other we can go and see it some other time, on our own, which is a comfort!

Mottisfont House was founded as an Augustinian priory in 1201, in the reign of 'bad' King John, and since Henry VIII's dissolution of the monasteries as part of the Reformation, the house has gone through many cycles of re-design and refurbishment, eventually being bought in 1934 by wealthy art patrons Gilbert and Maud Russell. The Russells brought the house back from its state of disrepair, turning it into a social and artistic hub, and hosting famous artists and writers including Ian Fleming, creator of the James Bond spy novels.

Fleming became especially friendly with the lady of the house, Maud Russell.

(left) Mottisfont's "Lady of the House", Maud Russell, and (right) 

Maud seen with Ian Fleming, author of the James Bond books 

Fleming is believed to have become Maud's lover, which was a bit naughty, but without their affair, during World War II, the James Bond books might never have been written.

Fascinating stuff! And Lois and I will definitely be making a visit there some time, so watch this space!

Meanwhile, hunkering down under the bedclothes for 3 hours, and listening to all those thunderstorms raging outside, we've, in any case, after all the excitement dies down, very much got 'a lot on our plate' to 'chew over', to put it mildly! 

Number one, we've got to plan arrangements for Lois's 80th birthday coming up later this week - our daughter Alison and family, who live 10 miles away over the county line, in Churt, Surrey, have kindly offered to take us both out for a birthday meal on Friday evening, at the Miso Asia oriental restaurant at nearby Petersfield, Hampshire, which will be nice!

the Miso Asia oriental restaurant at nearby Petersfield, Hampshire,

where our daughter Alison and family plan to take us for Lois's 80th birthday

And the following day, Saturday, when Alison's husband Edward will be away busy with his Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme coaching work for local teenagers, Lois has offered to host Alison and kids to a slap-up 'tea' at our house, so we have to plan the food for that, and also put in a massive Ocado order to come on Thursday, as well as some CookShop items, including the meal's planned centrepiece: CookShop's notoriously 'wicked' chocolate cake! Yum yum!!!

CookShop's 'naughty' Chocolate Cake - yum yum!!!

Also in bed this afternoon, Lois somehow finds time to tell me all about the article in her this week's copy of The Week magazine, an article that explains why young couples all over the world are having less sex and, thus, fewer babies, which is a pity - and so great is the trend so that even 'randy' tech billionaires like Elon Musk won't be able to spawn enough children to make up the difference, would you believe!!!!

Birth rates in the developed world have been falling for a long time, but now the trend is being followed, even, by couples in the so-called "Third World", and it's mainly due to the spread of technology, especially smartphones, this article claims.

Apparently, over most of the world, there are now fewer couples, and fewer couplings, especially among the least-educated and the lowest-income young people. 

A Cincinnati University study published last month has shown that in the US, UK and Australia, smartphones have, since around 2007, transformed how young people spend time with one another, sharply reducing in-person socialising, and leading to the collapse in their fertility. The same slide occurred in other countries soon after, e.g. France and Poland (2007), Mexico (2012), and countries in Africa between 2013 and 2015, all coinciding with mass adoption of smartphones in local markets, as measured by Google searches for mobile apps.

To meet a person you are going to want to have children with, the authors say, requires coming into contact with a lot of possible candidates before you settle on 'the right one', and if you socialise less, it takes you much longer to find a match, if you find one at all. And there are other factors - Stanford University's Alice Evans says that Instagram and TikTok often raise young women's expectations for a relationship, which their male counterparts are not prepared for, and unable to provide, which doesn't help, to put it mildly!

Poor young people!!!!

Studies like this go back through the decades, the article recalls, with, in simpler times, studies that showed that just watching TV had had a bad effect on birth rates and population growth.

However, as Lois points out to me, TV and films aren't necessarily solitary pleasures, like smartphones are, and you often find yourselves watching something on TV with your spouse, or with your current "squeeze" or partner, and that can sometimes help, rather than hinder, your fertility, to put it mildly (!). 

This week, Lois and I saw a TV programme in which former newscaster Angela Rippon, on her travels through Vietnam, was talking to a young woman. The woman had been watching, with her husband, a sexy film "L'Amante" (The Lover), about a scandalous affair in Saigon between a local Vietnamese young man and a French student in the 1920s, in French colonial times.

Oops !!!!

Well, Lois and I had a jolly good giggle over that one, but there's a serious point here too, isn't there.

Is that 'randy' Vietnamese husband's reaction the way forward for the world at large, perhaps?

I wonder....!

Will this do?

[Oh just go back to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go back to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!

Monday June 1st 2026 "Yet more disgrace for our scandal-hit Met Office - it never rains but it pours!!!!"

Yes, Friends, do you feel sorry today for our scandal-hit Met Office? Seems they're facing another 'shit-storm', as the our Danish friends call it - and no pun intended!!!!!

Today's Onion News has more....

TR

Oops!!! National security reasons, eh? A likely story, I don't think!!!!!

And reading the story here today, in semi-bucolic Liphook, Hampshire, brings an ironic smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, as we take our near-daily walk over the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes, Liphook United, no question about that!

We're smiling, while gritting our teeth at the same time - not an easy manoeuvre, at our advanced age (!!!).

Yes, everybody talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it - that's the common cry isn't it! And Lois and I are wondering this morning whether the Met Office's "partners in crime" down under (!), Australia's so-called "Bureau of Meteorology" (BOM!!!) have got a good excuse today, after 'the mother of all storms' has been hitting Perth, Western Australia, and the whole western end of the country in the last day or so. 

a typical staff meeting at Australia's Bureau of Meteorology - local critics

say that Bureau officials talk about the weather but don't do anything about it!

Lois and I have been getting all the low-down on Western Australia's big storm today during our weekly catch-up video call with our daughter Sarah 9000 miles away in Perth's northern suburbs, and with Sarah's husband Francis and the couple's 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, who've all been 'hunkering down' overnight, with no power, in the cold and dark, would you believe!!!! 

Yikes!!!!

Power finally came back on at midnight British time last night, apparently, but what a malarkey!!!!

Lois and me today, talking on zoom to our daughter Sarah and family,

9000 miles away in Perth, Australia, after power had been restored a few hours earlier

But let's forget about the weather! There's happier news this morning about Lily and Jessica, our grandchildren, and my heart and my wife Lois's hearts swell with pride to hear that the twins have come first and second in their grammar school's recent 'persuasive writing' competition - awwwww!!!!!  Lily came top of the whole of the school's 200 pupils, with a score of 84% on her plea for a "National Day of Compliments", on which everybody would compliment all their friends and family on their good points (!). 

And in her introduction to her "piece", Lily apparently made it clear that no criticism was intended of her own friends and family (!), which was a nice touch!

(left screen) our daughter Sarah and her twin daughters, Lily and Jessica,

Lily and Jessica, who have come no.1 and no.2 in a "persuasive writing" 

competition, beating all their 200-strong grammar school fellow-students

- awwwww!!!!!

And Lily's twin, Jessica, came second in the competition, it seems, with her piece, warning of the dangers of parents who don't take good enough care of their children - not a veiled criticism of the twins' own parents, I hasten to add, as Jessica also made clear in her introduction haha!!!!

Our hearts swelling with pride at the news, Lois and I think back 12 years, to the days before Sarah and family first moved to Australia, when we,  "old Granny and old Poppa", used to look after those twins two days a week, while their parents were both at work. 

flashback to 2014: Lois and me looking after the twins, two days a week,

while their parents were at work, laying the groundwork for

their future career as novelists or journalists, perhaps - who knows!!

Obviously we must have been doing something right after all haha!

And we did all that baby-sitting, back in 2014, when no help was available, in those crazy, far-off days, from so called AI (artificial intelligence), which was a pity! 

However, AI 'bots' can sometimes hinder more than they help, according to an article in the current issue of "The Week" magazine, which plopped, somewhat late-ish, through our letterbox today, with some extraordinary news from Stockholm, to put it mildly!!!!

Poor Mona! Oops! Even for 'AI bots' like Mona, life isn't always easy, to put it mildly!!!!

And AI bot Mona's order-book "snafu's" in that pioneering AI-run cafe in Stockholm are somewhat reminiscent of some of my own online shopping 'gaffes', mistakenly ordering, for example, due to so-called "finger trouble" and "lack of attention to detail", to quote the subsequent "postmortem" and "lessons learned" report (!), not two packs (as requested) but 20 packs of A4 printing paper, which are still currently filling half of one of our bookcases, would you believe!

me showcasing another of my online shopping 'snafus'

- 20 packs of printing paper, instead of the requested 2 !!!!

What madness!!!!

And tonight, as if to ram that message home, there's much anger and bitterness, when we discover that I must have ordered the wrong version of an IKEA flatpack Bingsta armchair, as we find out, to our intense disquiet, when friendly Romanian 'task-rabbit' Mihai comes to assemble it for us. The new "Bingsta" was supposed to match our existing one, but I must have forgotten to check the dimensions when I ordered it, which was mad! 

The colour is roughly the same, but our existing Bingsta has a high back, and the new one doesn't. What madness!!!!!

Oops! My bad (again) haha!!!!!

(left) our text exchange last Saturday with friendly Romanian 'task-rabbit' Mihai,

and (right) our shiny new 'Bingsta' which clearly doesn't match our existing one,

standing behind it - what madness!!!!

IKEA has apparently discontinued the high-back version anyway, as we discover tonight, so there's no point in sending our shiny-new low-backed one back to IKEA. So we've decided to pass the ill-matched pair of chairs off as "Daddy Bear's Chair" and "Mummy Bear's Chair".

It's the best we can do, to cover up my 'shame', quite frankly haha!!!!

But your ideas welcome, maximum 10 chair-name ideas per family, as always - and postcards only (!!!), needless to say haha!!!

Nevertheless, what a crazy world we live in!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh stop wittering on, and just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Sunday May 31st 2026 "Oops! Have YOU heard today's shock news from Croatia?"

Yes, Friends, have YOU heard today's shock news from Croatia? 

Poor Zoran! 

The story's dominating the front page of all the papers today, isn't it, but in my humble opinion, the Onion News version (see report above) has the best angle on it, with that 'money shot' of the Prime Minister's soles, which I sadly can't reproduce for copyright reasons!

Zoran's latest half-arsed antics spell a bit of welcome light relief, however, bringing a kind of a half-twisted smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in semi-leaf-covered Liphook, Hampshire - no question about that!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're laughing because, by complete coincidence, we've been hearing all about Croatia at Lois's church's Sunday Morning Meeting today, at a village hall outside nearby Petersfield, from our friend and fellow-church-member, noted archaeologist Grahame, friend of TV's Alice Roberts and Raksha Dave, would you believe! Grahame, a Roman history specialist, has just returned from Croatia, no doubt from one of his so-called 'digs' (!). 

(left)  Grahame, at nearby Roman Silchester: the BBC refused to pay for Roman specialist 

Grahame's dental treatment although they paid for rival archaeologist Prof Alice Roberts' 

dental work - see her lovely smile-to-camera, as she digs up a Roman villa at Kettering (right)

Yes, not many people know it, but Croatia was once part of the Roman Empire, which seems mad, doesn't it !!! And Grahame is complaining that, when he flew back to the UK last week, the temperature here was actually hotter here in the UK (!), than it was on the sun-kissed Mediterranean beaches of that faraway country, which speaks volumes!!!!

(above) Lois and me at this today's Sunday Morning Meeting - behind us the legs

of Roman archaeology specialist Grahame, who's being "buttonholed" by Glenys,

wife of Chief Elder Richard, and (below) a schematic showing popular holiday destination 

Croatia, once part of the Roman province of 'Dalmatia', which is totally mad!!!!

After the meeting, Grahame pays my wife Lois a massive complement on her youthful appearance, which is nice. During the meeting Chief Elder Richard had tipped off the congregation that 'our sister Lois is about to have a significant birthday this week', which Grahame had interpreted as meaning she was nearing the biblical 'three score years and ten', i.e. 70, but Lois laughingly corrects him - revealing she'll actually this week be turning 'three score years and ten, then add another ten', which is mad too!

You do the maths haha !!!!

Lois and I would have liked to have heard more from Grahame, this morning about the latest Roman archaeological finds in Croatia, but the talk quickly turns to more mundane subjects: 'acid refluxes', would you believe! 

Poor Lois had had a rare acid reflux attack during the Preacher's 'exhortation' this morning, and I had had to sneak out to the kitchen to get her a glass of water, but Grahame tells us that he too is a sufferer, and he recommends so-called 'Gaviscon' (!), every day, just to stave it off. What madness!!!

During this friendly 'Your illnesses tonight' banter (!) between Lois and Graham, I keep quiet, perhaps wisely (!), about my own medical 'good news story' of the week. A routine NHS blood test that I took a couple of weeks ago, had indicated that I might be 'pre-Type 2 diabetic', which would have meant me cutting down on chocolates and marmalade etc (Oh nooooo!!!!!), but that result could have been affected (I claim!!!) by my spring COVID jab the previous day. And I've apparently been proved right, because, happily, a second test, done this week, seems to have disproved that initial diagnosis, which is nice! 

So bring on the chocolate again haha !!!!!

Your personal views, however, are welcome, as always - especially if you're a healthcare professional, but even if you aren't haha - but please self-identify one or the other, with documentation if necessary !!!! But postcards only, please!!! I need a 60-page technical report with diagrams etc like I need a hole in the head haha !!!!!

[That's enough haha's !!!! - Ed]

12:30 Lois and I return home from the meeting, and after a rushed lunch, we hurry up to bed for 'statutory nap time' - just a 'quickie' today, because we're expecting a visit at 3pm from our daughter Alison, who lives with husband Edward and her 3 teenage kids about 10 miles away, over the county line, in nearby Churt, Surrey.

(left) we arrive home, and Lois, still wearing her 'meeting hat' (!), finds time to showcase

a white poppy that's "popped up" [no pun intended!!!] in our tiny front garden during 

our absence this morning, which is nice! Then, there's just time for a rushed lunch,

and an hour in bed, before (right) we welcome our lovely daughter Alison, here for a quick visit!

Busy busy busy!!!!

Our daughter Alison has just finished our weekly tennis lesson with her 'coach' at the tennis courts at the nearby home ground and 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes Liphook United, and so Alison very much welcomes the cup of tea I provide to her chair-side table, just in front of our TV (see picture above, right!). 

the tennis courts, adjacent to the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes,

Liphook United, this year once more triumphantly avoiding relegation from

the prestigious East Hampshire Premier League (senior division), which is good news!

Alison, and husband Edward, are having a tough day themselves, also, not just having to cope with their weekly tennis lessons today, but also doing yet more punishing 'maintenance' work in the 5.5 acre grounds of their 'crumbling Victorian Mansion' in nearby Headley. The family is currently 'managing' two houses at the moment - their own 'crumbling mansion' in Headley is currently being slightly "uncrumbled", slightly (!), by builders doing a massive refurbishment job, so isn't really 'liveable in', at present.  

Meanwhile, therefore, the family has 'retreated' to a slightly smaller (!) Swedish-owned rental home in Churt, where they've been living for about 18 months or so, although they're hoping to move back into their own home in September, fingers crossed!!!!

(left) Lois showcasing our daughter Alison and family's crumbling Victorian mansion 

in Headley, and (right) the smaller, Swedish-owned house in Churt, which the family is renting

while their own 'crumbling mansion' (left) is being 'uncrumbled' (slightly!) by builders 

doing a massive refurbishment job - what madness, though, isn't it !!!!!

The family's 'crumbling mansion' was originally built back in the 1870's for one of Queen Victoria's vice-admirals John Parish, and Alison, despite her busy busy busy life-style, is somehow finding time to do some research on the history of the house, which is totally mad!

And when Lois and I, in a couple of months' time, visit Greenwich, by the River Thames in London, Alison is hoping to join us, to check what records there are available there, relating to Vice-Admiral John Parish at the Royal Maritime Museum. 

the Royal Maritime Museum, Greenwich, on the banks of the Thames,

with the modern skyscrapers of central London 'towering' (no pun intended!!!)

in the background - yikes !!!!

Lois and I ourselves will be visiting Greenwich in July because our other daughter Sarah and family will be staying with us for 3 weeks, flying into London from their home in Perth, Australia. And Sarah and husband Francis's 12-year-old twin daughters, Lily and Jessica, the 'little monkeys' (!), have expressed a desire to look over the 19th century sailing ship the Cutty Sark, which is also moored at Greenwich. 

flashback to December 2004: 15 months before we retired, Lois and I,

on a lightning trip to London, somehow finding time to visit the 

19th century sailing ship the Cutty Sark, moored at Greenwich

That's in addition to the all the other things on the twins' 'shopping list', which also includes the Harry Potter World at Watford, and, like a billion other attractions - more probably (!) - which Lois and I are very much looking forward to showing them during their time with us.

The family is currently able to visit us every year from Perth, because Sarah, an accountant, is in fact doing two jobs - her job in Perth, and also her old job in Evesham UK, which she's still somehow finding time to manage to do, online!!!! What a crazy world we live in!!!!

flashback to last summer: Lois, with our daughter Sarah, Sarah's husband

Francis and their 12-year-old twin daughters Lily and Jessica in London, during

what we're hoping will become an annual visit here, from their home in Perth, Australia

By coincidence, Lois and I should have been talking to Sarah and family at lunchtime today - we have a weekly 'catch-up' video call with them at 1:30 pm BST (British Summer Time), which is 8.30 pm Western Australia time. 

However earlier today, Sarah texted us to say that, over there in Perth, their power is out today following a massive storm, and may not be restored till late tomorrow (Monday). Hopefully we'll be able to talk to them tomorrow lunchtime. 

Lois and I aren't too surprised by this news, because, since yesterday, we've been following the progress of the storm on social media.

Yikes!

Imagine that! Perth getting all the nasty weather, while we Brits have been sweltering in the hottest May temperatures ever! 

What a crazy planet we live on !!!!

[That's enough madness for today! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!