Wednesday November 4th 2026 "Did YOU get caught in the rain this week - like poor King Charles? Well, bad luck haha !!!!

Yes, Friends, many of us have got "caught in the rain" at one time or other, during our lives! Think back - it must have happened to you at some point, especially this week! 

The papers have been full of it - step forward popular tabloid Onion News, who were "putting their toe in the water" as soon as the heavens opened - no pun intended!!!! Check out these "doozies"!!!!

And these stories - and others of the same, or similar, water-content (!) - bring a damp smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in soggy, rain-affected, Liphook, Hampshire, as we shop for much-needed groceries at the local Sainsbury's Supermarket. No question about that!

Storm clouds gather overhead, as  Lois and me shop in the fruit and veg 

section of our local Sainsbury's supermarket this morning

It's a treat for Lois to shop in person, for once, which is nice! Usually we rely on a delivery from online supermarket Ocado, but, as Lois says, "I like to squeeze my melons before I buy" - the little minx!!!

And later, when we're in bed this Wednesday afternoon for "statutory nap-time", we hear our copy of fortnightly political magazine "Private Eye" "plopping" through our letterbox, courtesy of our local Royal Mail postman, which is comforting!

As you'll see from the above picture, it's unfortunate for "Private Eye", that, coming out only every other Wednesday, they've had no chance to comment on today's big news story, the apparent Democratic Party landslide in the US midterm elections. There's not a word about those elections in the "mag" today - editor Ian Hislop has obviously decided that he and his staff should say absolutely nothing about the elections, because anything they might sound off about, or predict, is bound to look a bit silly to readers, who will almost certainly already been seeing a lot of the actual results.

Hence the magazine today is, instead, leading with the "storm" (no pun intended!!!) over King Charles and Queen Camilla's unfortunate lack of an umbrella during a sudden cloudburst in the Caribbean, where the couple were attending Antigua and Barbuda's 45th Independence Day celebrations, ahead of the upcoming Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM), in Barbados.

Hence, also, the magazine's front cover, with its amusing, suggested "speech bubbles", devised by the magazine's royal affairs staff, commemorating the occasion, which has now, inevitably, been dubbed "Umbrellagate" by journalists.

Arguably, however, King Charles himself came up with his own, and much funnier joke for "Umbrellagate", in his later, witty, off-the-cuff, comments to waiting journalists:

And the official "Colin's blog" comment is.... "Kudos, Your Majesty! - nice one!!!"

[Get on with it! - Ed]

17:00 Meanwhile, the real "headlines" today - about the US midterms - have been unfolding, ever since Lois and I woke up, this morning, to the news that the Democratic Party had won control of both Houses of Congress.

And when Lois and I tune into BBC Radio 4's "PM programme this afternoon, and again when, later, we watch BBC1's "Six o'Clock News", both Lois and I get a sense of that the Corporation's journalists have been caught a bit "with their trousers down" - surprised, and confused, by the scale of the Democratic victory, with presenters not quite sure which "pundits" to interview and, even, what questions to ask them, which is mad! 

Like Lois and me, perhaps, they were expecting a result less clear-cut, and maybe even half-expecting that President Trump's voter-base might have "stuck to their guns" (again, no pun intended!!!!), or that Trump himself might have tried to skew the results in his favour, or tried to sabotage the results by voter intimidation or court action, or whatever. 

But no, none of that happened, as it's turned out.

#

And, while we're watching the Six o' Clock News, we find we even get an email from the Guardian Newspaper's US Editor, asking us, as subscribers, to consider sending the paper more money, would you believe! 

What madness!!!

And Betsy writes:

"But why does the Guardian want you and Lois to send them more money?", I hear you cry!

Well, unlike the BBC, Betsy has got her act together, and obviously just knew you were going to ask that, and - guess what - she's got her answer ready!

Yikes!

Well, as I say to Lois, better open our wallets and let those moths fly out! Otherwise Betsy will be coming for us - no question about that!!!!

I wonder....!

20:30 I have to report, however, that our day ends on a very sad note, when Lois hears that her cousin Brian - whom Lois calls her "last surviving cousin" - died earlier today, at the care-home in Bournemouth where he's been a resident for a decade or so. 

flashback to August 1959: the wedding of Lois's cousin Brian to his fiancee Ruth, 

a wedding at which Lois (then 13) was one of the bridesmaids

A sweet, gentle man, with a great sense of humour, Brian "had a good innings", as they say - Lois and I reckon he must have been 91, or thereabouts - and he's survived by his wife Ruth, and their enormous family: she and Brian had 5 children, and, fortunately, many of them, as well as their spouses and their children's children, live within a reasonable distance of poor Ruth, which will be a blessing. 

flashback to August 2019: Brian (in the blue shirt), and Ruth, celebrate 

their 60th wedding anniversary, surrounded by "just some" of their

enormous family of children and grandchildren (!)

And in Brian's current state of mind, and state of health, in some ways today has also, in some senses, brought a measure of relief both to Brian himself, and to his family. Ruth is pretty sure that Brian no longer even recognised her, or knew who she was, although for the last couple of years or so, she's been spending virtually every day at the care-home, right there, at Brian's bedside.

Rest in peace, Brian, and. above all.... thanks for the memories!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!

Tuesday November 3rd 2026 "I bet YOU feel tired today, don't you! I THOUGHT I caught you yawning just now!!!"

Yes, Friends, I think the whole of the UK is exhausted today after a busy Monday on top of a manic weekend! Am I right? Or am I right!!!!

And, as per usual, popular tabloid Onion News has caught the mood of the nation, to judge from its big lead stories this Tuesday morning!!!

And these stories, and the, like, billion others in the same vein - more, probably! - certainly bring a wink of recognition to the eyes of me and my wife Lois this morning, as we take our near-daily walk here in semi-pictorial Liphook, Hampshire, no doubt about that!!!

Yes, we too have caught the mood of the nation, and are feeling totally exhausted - no surprise there, with our busy schedule, despite having been retired for 20 years, which is mad! And even the trees around the 'hallowed turf' of local Hampshire Premier League heroes Liphook United, are trying to tell us, we feel, that they've simply "had enough" (!), and are busy shedding their leaves for winter, like this gorgeous semi-red, so-called "Northern European pin-oak" (quercus palustris). 

Poor pin-oak haha!!!!! 

Lois and I this morning, taking our near-daily walk over the "hallowed turf" of local

soccer heroes, Liphook United, stopping to gaze at the fallen leaves of a local

"pin oak", as identified by my phone's handy "plantnet" app, which is illuminating!!!!

Yes, all over the UK today, trees are shedding their leaves for winter.

And not only that but the nation's stable-boys, exhausted or not (!), are all shedding their bodices, to judge by today's Onion News - see headlines above! 

Disappointingly for Lois, however, this year's reimagining of the late Jilly Cooper's classic stable-boy-bodice-ripper "The Rivals" is on a pay-channel this year, a channel that we're both too "tight" to fork out the money for, so no joy there! 

Only joking, of course, about Lois being "disappointed"! Me taking my scarf and overcoat off is enough stimulation for both of us, and more than enough physical exercise - well, we are 80, you know, although we look much younger, of course !!!  [I'd like signed witness statements before I let you repeat that old 'chestnut', Colin, no pun intended! - Ed]

But only joking (again, again!!!!), However, certainly, like the rest of the UK, we ARE totally exhausted, and "yawning our heads off" today, and you'll know why, because probably, like us, didn't YOU have a busy Saturday getting ready for the trick-or-treaters, then, a busy Sunday preparing to host a dinner for YOUR close relatives, followed by YOUR Monday fortnightly Latin class????

Am I right? Or am I right!!!!

[No, no, and no! - Ed]

flashback to our busy 'long weekend' of frenzy : Friday getting ready for over a 100

trick-or-treaters, would you believe - the young scamps!!!..... followed by Sunday

hosting a meal for our daughter Alison and family, followed by preparation

for our taxing Monday morning Latin class. What madness !!!!

No wonder our neighbours have dubbed Lois and me "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking couple" (!) - it's been total mayhem, and "in spades" !!!!!

Certainly, totally exhausted this Tuesday morning, we don't manage much at all today, other than our near-daily walk and an afternoon in bed for "statutory nap-time", to put it mildly!!! [So what's new, Colin! - Ed]

We also somehow find the time to finish booking our theatre tickets for next Monday's production of two plays written by my baby sister Gill, to be performed at one of London's top "fringe theatres", which will be nice! The plays will be performed by the female-led troupe Yellow Coat Theatre Company - slogan "Of course I'm hot...I'm 50!".

(left) Yellow Coat - the theatre company putting on the plays, and (right)

my "baby-sister" Gill (68!), with two members of the company

The tickets turn out to be a "snip" at only £10.50 a head, for each play, plus a £5 voluntary donation, which isn't bad, considering it's London! Here's the receipt for one of the plays, if you need proof! And maybe we'll see you there!

However, people in Hungary aren't so lucky with the price of their "cultural evenings", however, as I find out today in an email from my Hungarian friend, Tunde. Seats at Budapest's prestigious Operahaz Theatre can cost up to (almost!) a whopping £200 a piece, or 60,000 forints, according to today's article in the Hungarian online magazine "Femina".

Lois and I visited Hungary several times in the 1990's and 2000's, when I was learning the language, and we know that these crazy prices are going to be a blow to the many Hungarians, for whom a visit to the theatre to see the "Nutcracker" ballet is a deeply cherished holiday tradition. 

flashback to 1998: preparing for our last night in our rented

room in Budapest on one of our many visits to the city

You may have heard the Hungarian proverb, "Christmas just ain't Christmas without the Nutcracker!". 

No?

But "Colin, who can afford to pay up to £200 a head for a ticket?", I hear you cry! 

Well, here's the story in "Femina" this morning, in which the Opera House director puts up a spirited defence of his ticket-pricing strategy, citing the costs of putting on a world-class production these days.

However, Tunde, my penfriend, laments, in her email, how it used to be ridiculously cheap to go to the opera or the ballet, even in the capital, Budapest, and Lois and I remember, during our many visits to the city, paying prices like £5 a head, or even less, to see prestigious productions there.

flashback to 2002: (left) Lois (then 56) with Tunde, our Hungarian penfriend, when we visited

her Budapest flat, and (right) the lovely Union Jack cake she baked in our honour

But what a truly crazy world we live in !!!!

21:00 And, for Lois and me, there's even more madness on TV tonight, as we find out from the first programme in the welcome pre-winter return of "QI" - the knowledge-based comedy quiz on BBC2, chaired by the UK's favourite Dane, Sandi Toksvig.

So... here's a question for you! Where do most of the microplastics in our bodies come from? 

A lot of people think it's from our food, especially seafood, because of all the plastic rubbish in the oceans, that wind up inside the world's fish population. 

But no! Some of them do come from our fish-meals, as Sandi explains, but this is not the majority source, as Sandi explains. Many many more come from random things in our houses and from the things we wear. And we breathe all this stuff in, which is weird!

And, while sea-food is an obvious source for scientists to test, there are actually no more microplastics in fish than there are in other foods, such as salt, chicken, honey etc - you name it!

Panellist and TV presenter Gyles Brandreth wants to know if eating plastic is bad for us, which is a fair enough question to ask!

And, apparently, according to Sandi, some people are beginning to think that the fear of ingesting microplastics has been overblown, and that we should worry less about it. It is now everywhere, it's in human blood, it's in brains.

It's even in sperm, would you believe, which is weird, but panellist and London-based US comedienne Desiree Burch, "her in the big yellow dress" (!), puts a positive spin on this little-known fact for Sandi, which is a nice touch!

I wonder.....!

But what a crazy world we live in!! [You've done that one already, Colin . Just saying! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!

Monday November 2nd 2026 "Have YOU been to the cinema or theatre recently? Then why didn't you invite ME haha!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU been to the cinema or theatre recently? Well, tell me, would it have hurt to have asked Yours Truly to come along, paid for an extra ticket, and let some of those moths fly out of your wallet? 

Examine your conscience haha !!!!

typical moths flying out from some "tightwad's" wallet !!!!

Certainly, there's a lot going on in local theatres and cinemas these days, and Onion News have at last today acknowledged that fact by debuting their shiny new pull-out-and-use-for-kindling Theatre News Colour Supplement, to put it mildly!!!! Just feast your eyes on these "doozies" from their inaugural issue!!

What madness, isn't it !!!! But these are just the kind of headlines to bring a vapid smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-aquatic Liphook, Surrey - and that's a "given" !!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

And we're laughing because today we "took the plunge", and booked two seats at a "fringe" London theatre to see two plays written by my "baby sister" Gill, which is exciting! We'll be travelling by train into central London - "yikes, scary!!!" -  in company with our daughter Alison, who lives in nearby Headley, with husband Edward and their 3 teenage offspring.

(left) Yellow Coat - the theatre company putting on the plays, and (right)

my "baby-sister" Gill (68!), with two members of the company

Lois and I haven't been to a London theatre performance since the early 1970's, just before we got married, when we saw a performance of Hair the Musical, featuring full frontal nudity in the name of "Peace and Love", which was a shock, to put it mildly! 

We had foolishly booked two seats in the front stalls, which made it, like, a billion times worse - "worser" probably!!! 

But what madness!!!! 

flashback to the early 1970's: Hair the Musical - with the cast 

displaying their all to the audience, all in the name of "Peace and Love" (!)

 - what madness, wasn't it !!!!

At time of writing, we don't think there's any nudity in either of Gill's two plays, but - memo to self! - we must check with her again before we go (!). We can always pack our old airliner "sleep masks", if there's any doubt!

You see, I think Gill has left room for "adlibbing" by the talented Yellow Coat Theatre players performing her plays, so an impromptu "strip-tease" can't perhaps be totally ruled out, perhaps, so better safe than sorry, maybe?

I wonder.... !!!!

09:30 Otherwise today is yet another busy day for Lois and me, because, "for our sins" (!), we're both members of the local U3A "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" group, run by retired local schoolteacher Joe, with meetings taking place in Joe's own comfortable. and nicely-furnished, retirement flat in a gated complex in nearby Haslemere, just over the county line in Surrey.

us with fellow "old codgers", in local retired schoolteacher Joe's comfortable

retirement flat sitting-room, all trying to master "Intermediate Latin", which is mad!

Our little group is currently studying Roman poet Vergil's account of the Greek Army's long siege of the enemy city of Troy, in his epic poem "The Aeneid". 

After 10 fruitless years surrounding and besieging Troy, the Greeks eventually hit on the idea of building a giant wooden horse, secretly concealing armed warriors inside it. The plan was to persuade the Trojans to pull the great wooden horse into the city, after which the concealed warriors would creep out in the dead of night, and open the city gates to their Greek comrades, thus paving the way for a Greek victory in the long war.

As the Greeks said to each other at the time, "Yes, it is a crazy plan, but it might just work!", and guess what, it did! And the rest is history, as we know!

But there's something weird here! Because, in the extract from the poem that our little group is reading this Monday morning, we can't help noticing that one of the lines is unfinished, which is a surprise! 

Vergil managed to write the two words, "disce omnes" but then the rest of the line is totally blank, which is totally weird!

a portion of Roman poet Vergil's epic poem "The Aeneid", with its

mysterious, half-finished line, "disce omnes", which Vergil

never got round to "tidying up", which was a pity!

It's a line where, it's assumed, Vergil ran out of ideas, leaving the line unfinished, hoping to get back to it later, we imagine. 

And our group-leader, Joe, reminds us that Vergil never completely finished the poem, and even asked his family to burn the manuscript after he was dead. However, the Emperor of Rome at the time, Augustus, forbade Vergil's family from burning it. 

However, luckily, perhaps, for subsequent generations, Augustus, like many "supreme leaders" (!), was also a bit of a narcissist, and was very anxious that the poem be preserved for posterity, because it painted him, the Emperor, in a specially good light, which was mad!

11:00 The class ends, as Joe, our teacher, has arranged to take his young granddaughter to see the latest remake of a film about the Trojan War, and its aftermath - Christoher Nolan's "The Odyssey", which is kind of appropriate.

14:00 However, as for Lois and me, after getting home, and taking our usual afternoon nap (!), we spend some time trying to finish the that mysterious 'unfinished' line, on Vergil's behalf, which is a bit mad!

Lois and me try to finish the 'unfinished' line in Roman poet Vergil's

epic poem "The Aeneid", all about the Trojan War

After some thought, we decide the 'unfinished' line would be the perfect place for a tasteful advert to be included in the poem, so we suggest filling the gap with the words "But now a word from our very distinguished sponsor...", Latin: "sed nunc, sponsor tam nobilis inquit"....

We've also thought of a suitable advert to include, would you believe! We're not sure what companies were around in Vergil's day, but the oldest jingle we can remember is the famous "Pepsodent" jingle from the 1950's, which we used to hear when Lois and I were very young children: "You'll wonder where the yellow went, when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent". 

Sheer genius, and "Kudos, that ad firm, whatever it was!", to put it mildly!

flashback to the 1950's: (left) me with my baby brother Steve and our mum and dad,

(centre) Lois outside her parents' "prefab", and (right) a 1950's Pepsodent advert

After much thought, we've come up with our wording, I can now (exclusively) reveal! 

Our provisional Latin version for the advert goes: "Miraberis quo flavus color abierit, cum dentes Pepsodente purgaveris", although, naturally, we'll have to work a bit on getting the "metre" right, which is mad !!!!!

I wonder.....!

But your suggestions welcome - postcards only!!!!

[That's enough whimsy! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!