Friday April 24th 2026 "Have YOU ever been 'the new guy in the office'? It's the pits, isn't it!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever been 'the new guy in the office'? Not a nice experience is it!!!! 

And if YOU are the office 'newbie', reflect that even being, at the same time, a trained astrophysicist doesn't really help you cope with that stressful situation, according to this morning's Onion News! And if you're short of time, just check out this handy  'potted version', supplied free of charge by Yours Truly, which will blow your socks off, that's for sure!!!!

Poor Taylor !!!!

And reading Taylor's story this morning, here in semi-translucent Liphook, Hampshire, brings a twisted smile to the faces of me and my 'wifey' Lois, no question about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're laughing, because Yours Truly is about to become the county's newest Latin teacher, which is mad! 

I'll be teaching Latin for Beginners to a group of 'old codgers', having been 'headhunted' by local U3A bigwigs Joe and Richard. Joe is a big shot in the local Latin-teaching 'mafia', and Richard is a 'big cheese' in the local U3A in nearby Haslemere. And myself taking on this new role as the county's newest Latin teacher for Old Codgers, will make me a prime target for all the bullies in the U3A "in these here parts", as people say in these here parts, that's for sure!

notorious local bullies: (left) Joe, the local U3A teacher of "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers", 

and (right) Richard, the local U3a "groups coordinator"

Lois has promised to 'toughen me up' so that I can stand up to any bullying - the local U3A Latin bigwigs are notorious for their 'macho' culture. So I should be okay, but watch this space !!!!!

As you can probably guess, this Friday is another quiet day for Lois and me. We're still feeling a bit "rubbish" after Wednesday's COVID jab, with slightly aching upper arms, so we have to be a bit careful during our initial 'rough-housing' session, but no serious harm done, so that's all good !!!!

Lois and I have also started to plan for June, when our daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twin daughters, will be arriving with her family for what we're hoping will become their regular 2 week stay here. They came last summer, partly for work reasons: Sarah is still doing two jobs - her old job in Evesham UK as well as her new job in Perth, which is mad!

flashback to July 2025: we say goodbye to our daughter Sarah and family

after their 2025 stay with Lois and me, on one of Sarah's "work trips" - sob sob!!!

Somehow we've got to accommodate them all again in our tiny house. Last year, Sarah wound up having to sleep in our living-room on a folding bed, and use our kitchen table as her 'work space', which wasn't ideal, so Lois and I are planning a rethink for this year. 

flashback to the family's stay with us last year: our poor daughter Sarah,

sleeping in our living-room and doing her office work in our kitchen - what madness!!!!

Luckily we have a chance today to talk the best arrangements over with our other daughter Alison, who pops in to see us with her eldest daughter Josie. Josie (19), a first-year maths student at Durham, will be travelling back up north by train on Sunday, at the end of the Easter vacation, so today is also our last chance to chat with Josie before she disappears for ten weeks.

(left) our daughter Alison and our granddaughter Josie (19) who drop in

for a chat this afternoon, and (right) Josie in her student room at Durham

We also hear about our son-in-law Edward's latest physical challenge, taking part with his brother in a local charity triathlon, dubbed "Race for the Sun (South Downs)", which comprises 'a hike, a kayak and a bike', the hike taking them 10 miles, the kayaking a further 2 miles, and then a punishing bike ride of 33 miles, which is a bit mad. Rather him than us!!!

And it'll all be taking place tomorrow 60 miles south east of here, on the English Channel coast, somewhere near Eastbourne, Sussex. Alison sends me an app that will enable Lois and me to "track" Edward's progress, which is going to challenge our technical capabilities, I can tell already! And Alison also passes us some pictures from last year's event, which gives us a rough idea.

Poor Edward !!!!!!

But Edward is no stranger to charity bike rides, at least - that's for sure! Just look at this previous effort of his, doing one of his charity rides to London with close friend Jonathan, a few years ago.

outside Buckingham Palace and by Tower Bridge, our son-in-law Edward (right)

with close friend Jonathan, on one of their charity bike rides 

And it makes Lois and me tired just to hear about Edward and all his adventures! What a day today has been for Lois and me! No wonder we need something 'light' on TV tonight, to help us 'chill out' in time for bed, no question about that!

Here's our choice: this week's edition of comedy news quiz "Have I Got News For You", hosted this week by comedienne Sue Perkins.

Here is tonight's missing words headline:

And the answer? "13ft crocodile at reception desk", of course! It happened in Zimbabwe, and here are the pictures from the hotel's security cameras:

The 13ft crocodile, fortunately, didn't get access to any guest tooms, presenter Sue Perkins tells us, "because it wasn't a Travelodge".

That was a reference to the shock story from a few days ago:

What a truly crazy world we live in !!!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday April 23rd 2026 "Are YOU dissatisfied with YOUR doctor? Why not try one of the new ones currently being trialled !"

Yes, Friends, if YOU are dissatisfied with YOUR doctor, there's a new experimental 'strain' of NHS doctors who will be 'taking the strain' very soon - no pun intended!!!!!

Onion News has more.... 

Kudos there, Cosgrove!!!

And the story certainly brings a cheeky smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, here in partly-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure!!!

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

Unfortunately, it's another "medical" day for us after yesterday's little "COVID jab outing" (!), and today I've got an appointment with the nurse at our local surgery for my annual blood test. Whether she's one of the new-style 'placebo nurses' I'm unable to say definitively! After all, the whole point of them is that you can't tell the difference, isn't it: otherwise 'the spell would be broken', which would be mad!!!

(left) our local NHS surgery, and (right) a typical blood test 'malarkey' (!)

The nurse asks me which arm I want her to 'do', and, as always, I pick the left, as I'm right-handed. Call me a bit 'conventional' if you like haha!!!

Yesterday I got some COVID vaccine put into my left arm, and today I get some blood taken out of it, so I suspect that the weight of my arm won't have changed very significantly - something pushed in, something pulled out - what a malarkey !!!!

She only takes a bit of my blood, I think. I certainly don't feel any lighter when I leave. Not like poor old 1950's comedian Tony Hancock, when he volunteered to be a blood donor, and was famously shocked to hear from his doctor that they were going to take as much as a pint. 

What madness that was!!!! And what a load of rubbish poor Hancock had to put up with for his pains!!!

Actually, by coincidence, both Lois and I are still feeling a bit 'rubbish' today, so, after lunch, we get into bed for 'statutory nap-time', although we know it's going to be just a quickie today. Our daughter Alison, who lives just 10 miles away just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, is going to drop by at 2:30pm for a "catch-up", which will be nice!

Alison and family are still in their so-called 'temporary' rental home in Churt, while their own crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley is being refurbished - so ,more madness there!!! Their mansion should be ready to move back into in the autumn, but unfortunately the Swedish landlord of their temporary rental home is simultaneously trying to sell, so it's a 'toss-up' whether the family will be able to stay there till their proper house is finished and ready to move back into. 

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

(left) our daughter Alison, who drops in on us this afternoon, for a 'catch-up',

and (right) her family's crumbling Victorian mansion, still being renovated

the family's temporary rental home, now on the market for 'a snip' - but you'll

need a cool £1.1 million if you want to 'snap up' that 'snip' - what madness, isn't it!!!!

19:00 What a day for Lois and me - busy busy busy, yet again!

Luckily there's something restful to wind down to this evening, an episode from diminutive Scottish comedienne Susan Calman's 7th series of "Grand Days Out", on Channel 5, which is a relief, to put it mildly!!!!

Tonight, Susan's in Nottinghamshire, and she ends her travels in the county a few miles north of Nottingham, with a visit to Newstead Abbey, ancestral home of Victorian hell-raiser and poet, Lord Byron (1788-1824).

Not only did Byron have a 'large to XXL' 'gaff', he also had a large personality to match, no doubt about that!

Byron has been described as the world's first modern celebrity, one who marketed a 'romantic' image of himself, limping around moodily and wearing a cape. Dubbed 'mad, bad, and dangerous to know', he's believed also to be the first modern recipient of fan mail from his hordes of female admirers. Women all wanted a lock of his hair, we're told. 

And in order to keep himself "pale, slender and interesting", he consumed a lot of vinegar, thought at the time to be the best way to keep your weight down, would you believe!

And of course, Byron also found time to write a ton of 'tortured poetry', needless to say!

Susan herself, however, confesses that she personally has never been much into the tortured stuff. Her own wife has a different way of romancing her, she says.

So what's the 'takeaway' from Susan's touching confession? Susan spells it out for us, which is nice!

Kudos, Susan! 

But what a crazy life they led, in those far-off times!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday April 22nd 2026 "Those COVID jabs! Make you feel young again, don't they !!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU had YOUR spring COVID jab yet? It's a wonderful feeling afterwards, isn't it, and you feel at least, like, a billion years younger, more probably!!! Like this local man whose overweight body was literally "looming" all over this morning's Onion News - check out their popular "From the Archives" column on page 94 !!!!!

Poor Brady!!!!!

However, my wife Lois and I know exactly how Brady feels, reading his story here in partly-picturesque Liphook, Hampshire this morning, to put it mildly!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We have our annual spring COVID jab ourselves this morning, not at the doctor's surgery, but at the local pharmacy, which is much better - no queuing!!!!! 

What madness!! Although after the jab we both feel a bit rubbish. Eventually we decide to spend the afternoon in bed.

[You do that anyway, Colin, don't you - be honest!!! - Ed]

Lois and I stop by at the local pharmacy to get our spring COVID jabs

But getting our jabs at the pharmacy seems to be the way to go. So much better than those awful queues; the long lines of 'old codgers' and in the years before that, queuing up at the County Fire Station with all the other poor sods - what a madness it all was!!!

[That's enough madness!!!! - Ed]

flashback to the COVID jabs of yesteryear - what madness!!!!

It's a bit of a medical day all round today, which isn't my favourite kind of day, to put it mildly. I know I've got to take my annual blood test at the surgery early tomorrow morning, and they've also given me a urine test kit, although without any instructions. There are, like, a billion instructional clips on YouTube, more probably, but none of them seem to match the kit I've been given, which is weird.

What madness (again) !!!! So just before closing time, Lois and I drive round there to the surgery and ask for an instruction leaflet. However, when I get it home, I find that it's only helpful up to a point - just pictures, which is mad! Why can't they write more than a few words of description as well? Would it really strain their powers of imagination so very much?!!!

(above) flashback to last week, when I collect my mystery urine test kit from the surgery,

and (below) yesterday, when we got round to asking for an instruction leaflet

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

At least my appointment tomorrow for my blood test will be with a real live woman, and I can ask her questions if necessary, which will be nice!

But how long before it'll be robots who do all these things, and the UK's nurses will have been all laid off? Not so very far in the future, according to the second programme in artist Grayson Perry's fascinating new series on the AI revolution, to put it mildly!!!

Tonight, Perry is focusing on the tech billionaires and CEOs and what kind of people they are, and there's an interesting interview with some of his female staff and colleagues, and with tech world journalist Kara Swisher (crazy name, crazy gal !!!!!).

Grayson asks Swisher what she thinks of the current political shenanigans of the "tech bro's", Elon Musk and the like.

Perry asks her it it's really that cold-hearted, and Swisher says that's the only kind of heart they have.

Then Perry asks her what she thinks of the tech bros' protestations that they really care about the social impact of the products that they're rolling out now.

Do people like Musk really understand ordinary people, Perry asks, and Swisher has no doubts about the answer to this one!

"Most of them have private planes, " she says. "They go from the plane to the car, to the helicopter, to the compound. They don't interact with normal people, and so their lives become very... I call it a "cashmere prison' ", she adds. 

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!