Sunday August 2nd 2026 "Is YOUR life too busy for making jokes these days? Well, join the club!!!!"

Yes, Friends, is YOUR life so busy these days that you miss opportunities for making classic one-liners?

It's the fate of many of us isn't it, and there's a real "doozy" of a story plastered all over the page 94s of today's Onion News - I expect you saw it, but if not, here's my handy summary, for your reading pleasure, which will save you time, and maybe put a harassed smile back on your face at the same time, if only for a few seconds!!!!

Poor Whitford!!!!!

Whitford's sorrow, however, is mine and my wife Lois's joy (!) this morning here in semi-tropical Liphook, Hampshire, as we read the story while at the same time rueing sympathetically, not just on Judge Whitford's "lost moments of mirth" but also on poor housekeeper Ortega - apparently "too busy to make wisecracks". 

What madness, isn't it! As the man said, "What is life if full of woe-about-it, we have no time to joke, then crow-about-it!" - how true those words seem today, centuries after they were first written, to put it mildly!!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Our own day is busy enough, let me tell YOU! Starting with a 10-mile drive down the bustling A3 "artery" to attend the Sunday Morning Meeting just outside Petersfield, Hampshire, with poor Lois having her turn on the rota to supply the "emblems" - the bread and wine for the communion, and then having to bring the little individual plastic communion cups back home afterwards, for washing and drying etc etc.

No wonder, neighbours have dubbed us "possibly Liphook's busiest retired couple", but that's just the so-called "modern world", really, isn't it!!! 

(above, left) the village hall near Petersfield, Hampshire, where Lois's church

holds its meetings, and (above, right) us in the back row waiting for the meeting

to start, and (below) the plastic communion cups that Lois has to organise

And, certainly, the real world, and its troubles impinge on us hugely today, no question about that!

We rush back from the meeting and eat a hurried lunch, because at 1:30pm we've scheduled our weekly catch-up zoom call with our daughter Sarah who lives in Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 13-year-old twins Lily and Jessica.

flashback to last month: Lois and me, with our daughter Sarah and family 

sampling "the view from the Shard" - Europe's tallest building,

during their recent visit to the UK to spend 3 weeks with us

13:30 Today, however, logging into "zoom" at the appointed time, Lois and I find that there's no sign of Sarah, and later we discover that she was distracted by a "work nightmare" that she had to sort out - on a Sunday, would you believe!!!! 

We call her "Sarah Two-Jobs", because she is somehow combining her new accountancy job in Perth, while somehow still doing her old one in Evesham UK. Even her recent visit to the UK to spend 3 weeks with us, was punctuated by her having to sort her company's problems out. What a crazy world we live in !!!!

flashback to last month: Lois and me having fun, doing jigsaws and watching TV,

while for our guest, our poor daughter, Sarah "Two Jobs", it's "business as usual",

sorting out the company's problems online  (!) - what madness !!!!!

14:00 Lois and I eventually just give up trying to do the zoom with Perth, and, on this further "scorcher" of a day in the current heatwave, we just collapse thankfully into our guest double-bed for "statutory nap-time". We're using the guest bed in the afternoons this week, because, although it's narrower, it's in the bedroom on the cooler side of the house, and we can throw open the windows to get a bit of a breeze blowing onto us, which is nice!

flashback to last week - I showcase our guest bed, ready for its rollout

as our "go to" refuge for the afternoons, which is nice

Today, however, it's another case of "No peace for the wicked" (!), even in our guest bed, because we soon find ourselves experiencing a horrible smoky smell coming in from outside, so have to close the window. We suspect that some neighbour is having a barbecue, maybe, but later we find out that it's a big fire in a field on the nearby Haslemere Road - yikes!!!! 

It's all this so-called "drought" that's the problem - that's what Lois and I keep saying!

the current 'drought map' of England and Wales

First this afternoon there's a 'tweet' from the West Sussex County Fire Service, and later a report in the Petersfield News, talking of 12 fire engines from three counties having to be in attendance - yikes again !!!!

And later, there's more "drought news" from Tunde, my Hungarian penfriend. Apparently record low river levels in the Danube have spelt trouble for the country's power sources, forcing nuclear reactors in Hungary, Romania, Serbia and Bulgaria offline, as the heatwave drives up power demand.

Yikes (again) !!!

my Hungarian penfriend, Tunde (left), seen here with us,  

in Bath, in happier times, on her visit to the UK back in 2008

Apparently, Hungary's Paks nuclear power plant, which supplies nearly half of the country's electricity, and which uses river water from the Danube to safely cool its reactors, could be shut down for weeks as a result. 

The country's new Prime Minister, Peter Magyar, however, has been very visible on the country's media, however, calling for calm. He has also urged major industries to reduce power and water use, to ease grid pressure. The European Commission say they are monitoring the electricity power situation, while emphasising that there are no immediate concerns about security of supply.

Yikes (again)!!!!! [That's enough 'yikeses' ! - Ed]

15:00 Luckily, this afternoon ends on a happier note, with a visit from our other daughter Alison, who lives just over the county line, in Churt, Surrey, with husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids Josie (19), Rosalind (18) and Isaac (16). And we're delighted that Rosalind is able to accompany Alison to our house and we can spend a jolly hour or two catching up on the family's news.

The family is currently renting a house in Churt, while their real home, a crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley, Hampshire, is currently being extensively refurbished. Ali and Ed spend most of their Sundays back at their 4-bed Headley mansion, gardening and doing bits of DIY, also maintaining the enormous 7.5 acre grounds. And today Ali brings news of a welcome addition - a shepherd's hut, which can be used as for guest accommodation, any time when space in the mansion gets tight (!).

The family's two dogs, Sika and Bjorn have been testing out the shepherd's hut this weekend, and their initial feedback is positive, Ali says - see pictures below, if you want "chapter and verse" !!!!

(above, left) our daughter Ali and her daughter Rosalind (18) on their visit to us

this afternoon, bringing news of their shiny new "shepherds hut" recently delivered

to the generous 7.5 acre grounds of their crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley

and the family's two dogs are giving it a cautious "thumbs up", which is nice!

There's also, this afternoon, exciting news about Ali and Ed's eldest progeny, Josie (20), who's just finished the first year of a maths degree course at Durham. Tomorrow Josie will be starting a summer job at transport consultancy firm Systra in London - dad Edward is on the board of Transport UK, and has had dealings with Systra in the course of his work, and the omens are good for a possible internship for Josie at some point, so watch this space!

(above) the family on their recent Mediterranean holiday in the Spanish Balearic Islands:

Josie (19) is second from left, sitting next to her mum, our daughter Alison

The stress of Josie's first week at work with Systra will be eased somewhat by her parents' generous booking of an airbnb for her in London for the weeki, to save Josie the hassle of commuting to and from the family's temporary home in Churt, which is a nice touch!

21:00 We wind down for bed with another short binge-watch of the recent Canadian series, Schitt's Creek, all about a "riches to rags" story of a billionaire and his wife, Johnny and Moira Rose, and their two useless grown-up kids, David and Alexis. After being cheated of their fortune by one of dad Johnny's  crooked business associates, the family are force to rent two cheap rooms in a seedy motel in the backwoods town of Schitt's Creek.

a formerly billionaire family Johnny and Moira Rose, with their

useless grown-up kids David and Alexis, cheated of their fortune

by one of Johnny's crooked business associates, are forced to

rent 2 rooms in a seedy motel in the backwoods town of Schitt's Creek

In tonight's episode, we see the town mayor - the scruffy Roland Schitt - is again asking Alexis to help out when their baby-sitter lets them down. He and his wife Jocelyn had planned a couple's massage evening with friends.

They ask whether young Alexis and her beau, local vet Ted can step in and fill the gap, but they're otherwise engaged. They then invite Alexis's brother David and his latest "squeeze" Patrick, but ditto, apparently (!).

Dad Johnny is mortified by all this it seems, however, and he expresses his feelings in no uncertain terms after Rolando and Jocelyn finally leave the restaurant, resigned to cancelling the evening they had so been looking forward to - awwwww!!!!

Oops! 

It's hard, though, isn't it, that moment when you first realise that everybody else thinks you're "past it" (!).

Poor Johnny!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!

Saturday August 1st 2026 "Are YOU still baking your own, when it comes to cakes? These days you no longer have to, which is weird!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU sure there isn't a shop SELLING cakes in YOUR neighbourhood?

And before you give a confident "No" to that question, why not take a look around, which is what a lot of people are doing today, thanks to the big "splash" in Onion News this morning - check out page 94!!

Quite the "eye-opener" isn't it! Will "baking our own cakes at home" become yet another forgotten art?

I wonder... !

And this very local, but also very "feel-good" story was quickly picked up by the "nationals" this morning, like the Times and Telegraph, and on an admittedly "slow news day" even led the early morning bulletins on the BBC's World Service, would you believe!

And here in semi-autonomous Liphook, Hampshire, reading about the Danvers' game-changing discovery certainly brings a lip-licking smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, no question about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're laughing, because, in our role of Liphook's "busiest retired couple", as neighbours have dubbed us, we've unusually got a fairly easy day today, which makes a pleasant change (!). 

Today we've simply got one big thing on our to-do list: to drive 10 miles down the busy A3 trunk road to nearby Petersfield, and delivering Lois's latest batch of flapjacks to her church's drop-in centre. It's the first Saturday of the month, on which date, traditionally, the centre holds a coffee morning to raise money for charities and to advertise the church's meetings to local residents, which is nice!

Lois and I looking forward to an easier day today, as we sip our coffee

at Lois's church's drop-in centre at nearby Petersfield

Don't think that we spend the whole morning sitting around and enjoying ourselves, however - dear me, no! I somehow find time to pop by the phone clinic next door, and ask the guy in there to stick the back of my phone on - it keeps coming off, which is annoying. And after that we take the chance to do some food shopping, including an unsliced loaf, because Lois is supplying the bread and wine for tomorrow's Sunday Morning Meeting.

Petersfield's iconic "phone clinic", where the helpful guy

behind the counter, sticks the back back on my phone, which is nice!

And while I'm "lugging" our incredibly heavy shopping bag back to the car-park, Lois even somehow finds the time to drop in at a local art gallery currently featuring paintings by the late local artist Flora Twort. All the famous women in these parts seem to be called Flora, for some reason - which is mad! Remember famous local writer Flora Thompson (1876-1947), if you want "chapter and verse"!!! 

Weird, isn't it!!!!

Petersfield's "Two Floras" - (left) Flora Thompson, who wrote the classic

autobiographical novel "Lark Rise To Candleford", which was televised 

by the BBC, and (right) local artist Flora Twort

Flora Twort almost married Nevil Shute, author of "On The Beach" and "A Town Like Alice" - he proposed to her, but she turned him down, perhaps preferring to "get on with her painting", deftly avoiding the need to fulfil all the standard marital duties, have babies, and all that "malarkey", as Lois and I call it!

Yes local artist Flora Twort (1893-1985), who lived next door to Petersfield's bustling market square, loved to paint the scene there on market days. "Twort" is a bit of an unusual name, isn't it, and Lois and I are intrigued because the name "Twort" may be entering our family after next month's marriage of my niece Lucy to her Anglo-American fiancee Rosanna, so watch this space!!!

(above) one of local artist Flora Twort's many paintings of Petersfield's

bustling market square, and (below) some recent photos I took of 

Lois checking out the local produce in the square on a typical market day

Busy busy busy! 

And, summing up, not such a leisurely day as we had predicted, to put it mildly!!!

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? - Ed]

Well, no, actually, seeing as how you're obviously interested! After lunch we somehow find the time to take an unusually prolonged afternoon in bed, not getting up till after 5pm, which "puts our timing out" for the rest of the evening, if you know what I mean!!! 

20:00 We watch a fascinating Channel 4 documentary all about "Hitler's Olympics" - the Olympic Games of 1936, which Adolph Hitler attempted to showcase the so-called achievements of his "Third Reich", advertising to the world a totally false picture of the real Germany that he had started to create.

A fascinating programme about the Berlin Olympics. There's been renewed interest recently in the history of Germany in the 1930's and Hitler's rise to power, because of the presidency of Donald Trump in the USA, but tonight Lois and I don't feel we can face both of these Channel 4 programmes in one sitting (!), so we just watch the first one, and put the other one off, although probably it's going to be the more interesting of the two.

The message of this first programme is that the 1936 Olympics were stage-managed by Hitler and the Nazis to show an apparently peace-loving and prosperous Germany under their leadership, and to hide anything potentially threatening.

Lois and I didn't know that the Games had originally been assigned to Germany when it was still democratic - in the days of the Weimar Republic, and, after the Nazis came to power, there was pressure to boycott the Games. In response to pressure, Germany reluctantly included a half-Jewish fencer in their "squad", and also the German public was exhorted to show their friendly side, and make sure that foreign visitors got a good welcome.

There was a shortage of eggs at the time, so the German public were exhorted to "eat fewer eggs" so that this shortage would not be apparent to their international visitors, and foreigners in the country could eat as many eggs as they wanted (!).

Hitler, of course, wanted the Games to be "the best ever" - sound familiar?! And Lois and I didn't know that the now normal custom of bringing a flaming torch carried from Mt Olympus by a team of runners to open the Games, was actually a German invention for the 1936 Games, although the manoeuvre also carried the uncomfortable subtext that the Germans were the true modern heirs of the glories of Ancient Greece - oh dear!

Also, Hitler wanted Germany to end up top of the medals table, but was thwarted by the US team, thanks in so small measure to the victories of black athlete Jesse Owen, which Hitler didn't like at all, needless to say!

21:00 Wanting to go to bed on some sanity (!), we relax with the good old Prom concerts - what could be better!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!