Friday February 13th 2026 "Has YOUR 'squeeze' already planned YOUR Valentine's Day/Night haha?"

Yes, Friends, has YOUR 'squeeze' already planned YOUR Valentine's experience?

Most of them have, according to what I read this morning in the local Onion News for East Hampshire! Here's just one example - thumb your way through to page 94 !!!!

Poor Omstead's boyfriend !!!!! So let's hope he at least gets his "bitter, resentment-fuelled intercourse" at the end of the day! "He's certainly earned it!" is what my wife Lois and I say, as we read his tragic story this morning here in semi-luxurious Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly !!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Our own Valentine's is pretty much planned already - we bring forward our weekly shower to today, to leave tomorrow clear. And we have our Valentine's lunch reservation already booked for tomorrow at 12 noon sharp, so that it won't "cut into" statutory afternoon nap-time, and that's our present to each other. 

And this morning, I work on my home-made Valentine's Day card to Lois. No surprise that my card is very much "mud-themed" this year, with all the "squelching" that's been going on lately with us as a couple, both in our daily walks, and just, well, generally-like !!!!

That information about my card is top secret, by the way, till 7:30am tomorrow morning, when I bring Lois her first cup of tea in bed, and reveal my this-year's "masterpiece" (!). And health warning - don't try to "penetrate" the "redacted" text on the front of it, by the way, whether with special Superman-style glasses or whatever: this particular "editing" exercise has been carried out by my friends in the White House, who are becoming very experienced at it !!!! Only joking, by the way - I haven't really got any friends in the White House!!!   [You don't say! - Ed]

flashback to this morning: a plainly exhausted-looking me

proudly showcasing my this-year's home-made Valentine's Day card 

What madness isn't it !!!!

You wouldn't believe it from looking at us, but we've actually managed to "bring about" the existence of 5 lovely grandchildren,  - indirectly !!!!! = by bringing two daughters into the world, back in the 1970's, daughters who themselves have had children - that's-what the word "grandchildren" means, incidentally, in case you didn't know (!!!!).

And this morning, I'm delighted to see, on my phone, as part of my daily GooglePics feed, memories of pictures taken on today's date, February 13th, throughout the decades, which is nice! Including these two "doozies", one from February 13th 2013 and one from February 13th 2014, if you want "chapter and verse"!!!

(left) flashback to this day in 2013: Lois dancing with our eldest grandchild, little  

Josie (7), in Copenhagen during our son-in-law Edward's 6 year stint in the city,

and (right), in 2014, our daughter Sarah, laughing her head off at the antics of her

twin daughters at the family's home in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire

Awww!! Happy days !!!!!

That "little Josie" is now a first-year maths student at Durham, with her younger sister Rosalind getting offers from the likes of Durham, Bath and UCL London making up her university choice for this coming September, and younger brother Isaac thinking about where to study for his Mandarin Chinese degree, if you please (!).

And those twins "romping" with mum Sarah in that playpen (see picture above!) are now 12-year-olds living in Perth, Australia,  and they've just started "big school" - a private grammar school in the city's northern suburbs would you believe!!! It's all totally mad!

(left) "little Josie", now 19, seen rightmost in this photo of the family on a skiing trip to Sweden,

and (right) our twin grandchildren Jessica and Lily in their new "grammar school"

uniforms, seen here in the garden of the family's home in Perth, Australia

11:00 And today, Lois and I even find time to take our daily 30-minute,3000-step "squelch" through the mud on Old Man Lowsley's Farm just outside town. 

Once more, it's just busy busy busy!!!!  [You lazy bastards! - Ed]

The shiny-new "merlin birdsong app" on my phone even tells us today that it's hearing a so-called "Eurasian bittern", whatever that is when it's at home! Apparently, it's officially Britain's noisiest bird, according to Google, and its cry "sounds like a foghorn", so presumably the app has made a genuine "ident" (?). 

But your views welcome - postcards only !!!!!

some pictures of bitterns, which I find later today, when I "google" the bird

Lois and I don't actually see the bird this morning, despite the fact that it's quite a big bird, but later, when Lois looks it up in her "bird book", she says it's a bird that likes to "skulk", so a bit like us haha!!! So fair enough, we didn't see it, but it was probably watching us, which is a bit unnerving !!!!

us on our walk through the mud (!) this morning , on Old Man Lowsley's Farm, listening out 

for a bittern, officially the UK's noisiest bird, according to Google and Lois's "bird book" (!)

What a crazy world we live in !!!!! The Guardian newspaper said the following in a thoughtful editorial a few years ago:

Poor bitterns !!!!!!

21:00 We go to bed on a fascinating Channel 5 programme about Scottish palace, Holyrood House, in Edinburgh.

Lois and I didn't know that George IV had made a historic visit to Holyrood in 1822, a visit dubbed "The King's Jaunt", because it was chiefly a bit of a publicity stunt to advertise the palace's historic role in the story of the Scottish monarchy. And it was also the first visit to the palace by a British monarch since 1651, so nearly 200 years.

George, quite early on in his reign, had come to be looked on as something of a joke in Britain generally. This was the golden age of the satirical cartoon, and George was a regular victim of them, we're told.

Despite his reputation, however, at one point during the King's visit to Holyrood, all the ladies present queued up enthusiastically to get a royal kiss from him. And the King "got through" an astonishing 457 of them, in just one hour. Surely something for the Guinness Book of Records (?).

For publicity purposes, writer and historian Sir Walter Scott, who was stage-managing the visit, had persuaded the King to wear a Scottish Highland kilt.

The kilt that the King chose to wear, however, is said to have divided opinion amongst the Scottish ladies who had been invited to the King's reception.

What a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off times !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday February 12th 2026 "All this bad weather! People talk about it, don't they, but nobody ever does anything!!"

Friends, how are YOU coping with the current bad weather? Do you need to talk over your issues with somebody sympathetic, perhaps? I think there are some websites, additionally, which offer guidance and support.

Well, if you do to talk to somebody about it, don't call us, we'll call you! Here, in rain-affected Liphook, Hampshire, my wife Lois and I are fed up to our chattering teeth with all the rain this year, to put it mildly - no pun intended !!!!

But it could be worse. Just look at this poor guy in this morning's Onion News, for starters!!!

Poor Tim !!!!!

But also poor us! That's because Lois and I will have been retired for 20 years, come March, and we've got nobody to ring up to "spill" about our own weather-related traumas, and the attendant psychological damage, and to seek their emotional support, which is annoying!

About 11 am this morning, however, the rain seems to stop and we manage to sneak out of the house for a cheeky walk over the "hallowed turf "of local soccer heroes, Liphook United, currently "languishing" in the "relegation zone" of the East Hampshire Premier League. However, by the time we manage to do about 3,000 steps, the rain begins again and we have to "hightail" it back to our car.

What a crazy country we live in !!!!

12:00 We reach home with our coats all drenched and soggy, so, as a quick-fire response, we order Lois a new pale blue, allegedly rainproof and windproof coat, and a couple of high-to-highish-necked sweaters from Cotton Traders, who are running a discount at the moment. 

Then, after lunch, there's a quick spell in bed for "statutory nap-time", and then it's time to lead another rowdy online session of the local U3A "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, that we "lead" allegedly - for our sins (!). Finally we have to make space on our table for our grandson Isaac, who'll be popping in after school, and staying till his mum, our daughter Alison, can come over and pick him up.

Busy, busy, busy !!!! What a day !!!!! And we've both been retired for nearly 20 years!!! 

How did we ever find the time to go to work, that's the mystery!!

[You lazy bastards! - Ed]

21:00 Finally we wind down for bed with the first bit of a fascinating documentary about one of our favourite funny people, comedienne Victoria Wood.

Painfully shy as a young girl growing up in Lancashire, Victoria says of her childhood, "All I ever wanted to do was to be funny. I can't imagine, really, a better job than that you would write something, and that it would make people laugh". 

Much, much later, in the 1980's Victoria became Britain's first ever female stand-up comedian, and then, later, a successful writer of sitcoms and films. But she was hardly an overnight success. It took her years and years of rejection, and people telling her "You're not funny!", "We don't know how to place you!", "You don't look right!", "You don't sound right!", and if all else failed, "You don't wear dresses!". 

And she adds, "I was always being told no, I was patronised, either for being fat, or for being northern".

Most of all, people in the business wanted her to stick to what first made her famous - comic songs, with Victoria singing and playing at the piano.

Fascinating stuff, isn't it. 

But there's a lesson here for all of us - never care about what people say about you, just be yourself, and keep doing whatever it is that you like doing, and do it every day of your life, if possible, while doing what you can to enable others to do the same. 

You can't do better than that, can you. And as we know, Victoria made it in the end, selling out London's Albert Hall more than once for her stand-up show, breaking records in the 1990's that, incredibly, still stand today, in 2026.

And it's nice for Lois and me tonight, to be able to go to bed on one of Victoria's early comic songs, expressing her uncertainties, as a now middle-aged woman, still trying to break into show business.

"I read it in a magazine,

Oh God, I'm such a barmy sod,

Eek, squeak, I'm practically antique,

Oh God, you know I'm 40-odd,

And yet I feel about 13, well, most days,

"Oh God, I'm such a  barmy sod,

I read the tea leaves in my cup,

But all they ever seemed to say,

Was 'For Christ's sake, grow up!',

"I never learnt to ski or punt,

Ooh, ah, I fasten up my bra,

I could take a header into vintage cheddar,

And still not be mature"

That says it all, really - pushing 40, looking like a piece of vintage cheddar, but still not mature (!)

And for Lois and me, now pushing 80, we say, "That's life in a nutshell, isn't it!" or should we say "life in a cheese wrapper"? 

[I'd rather you didn't ! - Ed] 

Fabulous stuff, though, isn't it!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday February 12th 2026 "What's more annoying than your boss trying desperately to 'psyche you up' !!!"

Yes, Friends, is there any single workplace 'nightmare' than when your boss is trying to "psyche you up" for some footling catalogue project or something similar!

And don't think it only happens in big multinational corporations in London! It happened round this "neck of the woods", at a small local firm just this week, and the story is making all the headlines in this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire, a front-page "splash" which makes pretty grim reading -  you have been warned!!!!

Poor Austen !!!!! It's certainly not pleasant being "psyched up" by your boss, especially on a Monday, when you're only just "winding down" from your weekend, to put it mildly!!!!

However, reading the story this morning, here in semi-precious Liphook, Hampshire, this morning does bring a feeling of a kind of "amusement-fuelled anxiety" to the faces of me and my wife Lois, that's for sure!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We've got a big event coming up later today, and we're trying to "psyche ourselves up" for it, as I type these words!

To try to calm our nerves, we go for a walk this morning on the grass around Liphook's iconic Millennium Centre, but have to abandon the walk after 15 minutes (again!) due to driving rain (again) (!), which sends us scurrying back to our car - what madness !!!!

And then, to keep our minds occupied, we pop into Liphook's flagship supermarket, the "Big" Sainsbury's, to get Lois some special bread for Sunday, would you believe! 

(above) Liphook's iconic "Millennium Centre, where Lois and I try to walk around this morning,

only to be sent scurrying back to our car due to the driving rain (again!!!), and

(below) the town's flagship supermarket, the Big Sainsbury's, to get Lois some special bread

Going to the Big Sainsbury's "to get Lois some special bread for Sunday" sounds weird, I know, but Lois has just joined her church's rota for providing the communion bread and wine for the Sunday Morning Meeting, and she's down to do it this coming Sunday. That will mean we'll have to get up super-early, because she'll have to be at the village hall, where the meetings are held, by 10:30am, so she can get everything ready before the meeting starts at 11am. 

Busy, busy, busy!!!

the village hall, where Lois's church holds its Sunday meetings

Only the "sisters" can apply for this job, as far as I know, but if you apply, it's a "shoo-in", and you don't have to run in the church's annual elections if you want to be accepted. By contrast a lot of the "brethren's rotas" - like the preaching rota or the presiding rota, or "doorkeeper", are subject to an annual vote - it's very democratic, so you might get voted off a rota if nobody likes your door-keeping, for example. Something like that, anyway! 

13:00 We're still psyching ourselves up for "tonight's event" over lunch, and it even creates a bit of tension in bed this afternoon during "statutory nap-time".

Tonight is going to be a fun event, however, that's for sure, but Lois and I are a bit nervous, because we don't usually go out after dark, sorry to confess!!! Luckily, our daughter Alison, who lives 10 miles away in Churt, over the county line in Surrey, is going to be taking us in her car, so I'm sure our nerves will settle down as soon as she rings our doorbell and settles us two "old codgers" down in two of her comfy car's comfy car-seats, at the unearthly hour of 5pm, would you believe! 

Yikes - we're becoming real "late birds" in our old age, that's for sure !!!!

a patently nervous Lois and me, being picked up this evening - 5 pm !!!! -

in pouring rain for a rid to our grandson Isaac's school to hear one of

his "performing arts" monologues - yikes !!!!!

The occasion tonight is going to be a fun thing, happily, because our grandson Isaac (15), together with a bunch of his fellow-students are performing monologues and dialogues in his school's theatre etc under the auspices of the London Academy for Musical and Dramatic Arts, or LAMDA, as it's known. 

We find we're not allowed to take photographs during the performance, which is a pity, but here's a shot of Lois waiting anxiously for the performance to begin, outside the entrance to the school's iconic "Hatfield Theatre", while our daughter Ali scans the pictures of the school's previous productions, like "Wizard" (The Wizard of Oz), in which Isaac played the Tin Man.

(left) Lois waiting anxiously outside the Hatfield Theatre at our 15-year-old grandson Isaac's

school, and (right) our daughter Alison scanning the pictures outside the theatre entrance,

including one of the school's production of "The Wizard of Oz", in which Isaac played the Tin Man

17:45 The performance begins, and our anxieties are quelled when Isaac, despite a cold, is in full voice,  putting in a stunning performance of a monologue from playwright Dennis Kelly's "DNA", which Lois and I have never heard of, but then we are fully-paid-up "old codgers", so fair enough!

Kudos, Isaac !!!!

And exactly what "DNA" (!) is young Isaac drawing on, to get his thespian skills? 

Not mine, that's for sure! I have never acted 1956, when as a 10-year-old I caused a kerfuffle at my school's Christmas Play, hanging up my Christmas stocking but then getting into my stage bed at the wrong end. And when my stage "mummy" (10-year-old Jill G.) came to tuck me in with a goodnight kiss, she was confronted with my feet, which at least got me a laugh, although ending my thespian ambitions at a stroke, and for all time, which was a pity!

flashback to my 1956-57 class photo, Mr Spicer's class, with me (ringed, centre of next-to-back row) 

before my "growth spurt" (!), and (back row extreme right) Jill, who played my "mummy"

 in the school play which ended my dreams of becoming a world-famous actor, tragically enough!!!!

Almost certainly Isaac gets his thespian talents from his dad, Edward, a debonair hotshot London lawyer, who nevertheless finds time to infuse both his addresses to court, and his work presentations, with an incredible dramatic flair and humour. 

When Edward started going out with our daughter Alison, back in the 1990's, he was often compared to film-star Hugh Grant, with his easy, relaxed, debonair manner and floppy dark hair.

(left) flashback to 1996: our daughter Alison, with Edward, a fellow Cardiff University student,

just after they had become an "item", and (right) the two of them last year, now married 

for 26 years, enjoying the last night of their Mauritius holiday at their beach hotel

Back in the 1990's, at the time that Lois and I first got to know our future son-in-law Edward, many comparisons were being drawn, in our circle, between Edward and the then up-and-coming film-star Hugh Grant.

And by coincidence tonight, Lois and I find ourselves watching an amusing retrospective on Hugh Grant's career, on the free-to-view Sky Arts Channel, which is nice!

It's very relaxing tonight for Lois and me, after a potentially stressful day which turned our so "dramatically" right in the end (no pun intended !!!!!), to look-back at Grant's career in romcoms and other productions. 

In the programme's opening sequence we see him here taking a stroll with fellow thespian, actress Liz Hurley, later Grant's wife.

One of the things Lois and I like most about Hugh Grant is his unfailing politeness. How many film-stars do YOU know would thank a reporter just for asking a question about his latest film - in this case Grant's big hit, "About a Boy" (2002) ?

Another thing we like about Grant is that he's also always very honest and open about his emotions, as seen here in this joint-interview with actress Liz Hurley, his then current "squeeze" and, later, his wife.

What a guy!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!