Monday April 27th 2026 "Ever wondered why you're seeing fewer pigeons in the UK these days?"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever wondered why we seem to be seeing fewer and fewer pigeons in the UK these days? Today's Onion News may have the answer!

Makes you think, doesn't it! And Kudos, Baltimore, for cutting down on those incidents of toddler-chasings - a move that most world-class cities have, frankly, lost sight of, which is a pity!

And reading the Onion story today certainly brings a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in partially-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Obviously some of the more affluent British pigeons are "upping sticks" and moving "across the pond", and hence the shortage "in these here parts" - problem solved!!!

And on our near-daily walk today, around the 'hallowed turf' of local soccer giants Liphook United, we can't help noticing something that presumably is becoming a bit of a rarity in the UK- some amateur "pigeon-tossing" and, indeed, "pigeon-tossing" of a high order, that's for sure! 

Just this morning we observe a man sitting on a bench speaking on his mobile, with, beside him, two large wicker baskets filled with pigeons poking their heads through the holes in excitement, and later, after being 'tossed' (!), these same pigeons in the sky around the football field, to a range, we estimate, of about a quarter of a mile or so, and repeatedly flying over our heads, which is exciting!

And thirsty for knowledge, as always, Lois and  I later google "pigeon-tossing" to find out the rationale behind the sport, which is interesting! 

[I'll be the judge of that! - Ed]

Fascinating stuff, isn't it !!!!

And Lois and I learn a lot of stuff today on our near-daily walk, this time from those additional non-pigeon-related "things" that we commonly see above our heads, would you believe!

I'm not just talking birds here, but also those man-made birds, often referred to as "planes", which is a surprise!

"So, what's your big 'surprise from the skies' today, Colin?", I hear you cry!

Well, if you look closely at the above pictures, you'll see that one of the many planes flying over our heads was going "from MAD to FAB", which sounds good (!), Madrid to Farnborough.

The question remains, however, as to why so many planes Lois and I see above us are flying to or from "FAB", i.e. nearby Farnborough, Hampshire? 

Lois and I had thought that these flights were probably military, as Farnborough is near the local UK Army bases at Bordon and Aldershot, but apparently not! It turns out that it's private planes causing the large numbers, apparently, so business flights mainly I guess!

Who knew?!!!! [I expect a lot of people knew that, Colin, to be frank! - Ed]

All in all, today is turning into yet another "quite busy" day for Yours Truly and Lois, my "Mrs Yours Truly", to put it mildly!

For us, our latest "busy day" started with our weekly morning zoom video-call to our daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica. And the call turns out to be a good opportunity to discuss their forthcoming 3-week trip to the UK, when they'll be staying with Lois and me, although going 'hither and thither' (!), including a trip to the Lake District, which will be nice!

(above) me before the call starts, practising my "grandpa wave" (!), and (below)

our actual call with Sarah and the twins today - it's already dark there in Perth, which is mad!

The twins will turn 13 this summer, and so they're on the cusp of "teenage-hood", which also shows in the twins' list of what they most want to see when we take them to London: not just the National History Museum and the Science Museum, but also, charmingly, Hamley's Toy Store in Regent Street (?).

Awwwww!!!!

This year, 2026, is going to be quite a year for trips, and later Lois and I exchange texts with my younger sister Gill, who lives in Ipswich, about our planned visit to see her next month. Gill herself has been doing her share of travelling recently: up to Manchester for her eldest daughter Zoe's 40th birthday, and then to Cardiff with Helen, one of Gill's oldest friends.

my younger sister Gill, (left) in Manchester for Zoe's 40th birthday, 

with Gill's other daughters Maria and Lucy, and Lucy's fiancee 

Rosanna, and (right) in Cardiff with Helen, one of Gill's oldest friends

Who said that old age was all "falling asleep in front of the TV" (!).

[No comment! - Ed]

20:00 Well, certainly, old age isn't like that for veteran TV railway travelogue presenter  and ex-Cabinet-Minister Michael Portillo, as we find out from our viewing schedules tonight, to put it mildly!

While Michael's next trip for Channel 5, to Stockholm, Sweden is already being advertised, his current trip to Japan is only in its second week out of three, would you believe!

Who knew, that in Tokyo, one of the most populous cities on earth, with, like, a billion railway and subway stations, that each of these stations has its own, catchy, ten-second "jingle", to reassure stressed passengers as to which station they're at, or just coming to.

What a great idea! And in tonight's programme, Michael talks to the composer behind 300 of these tunes, which is something of an eye-opener, to put it mildly, or should I say "ear-opener" !

[No! - Ed]

What madness!!!!

But Lois and I can see lots of possibilities for these short jingles in our own lives - perhaps a different jingle for each day of the week, to remind us where we are in the calendar, although this might possibly become a bit annoying, after a while (?). But your views welcome - postcards only!!!!

I wonder....!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Sunday April 26th 2026 "Do YOU have a good relationship with YOUR neighbourhood's dogs? Not easy is it!!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU have a good relationship with YOUR neighbourhood's dogs? It's a tricky one, isn't it!

And it depends a lot on the dogs you happen to live near too, doesn't it! Here's one neighbourhood dog that isn't going out of its way to be popular, at least according to this morning's Onion News foreign news pages, to put it mildly!!!

Poor Grimsson!!!!

And the reading Grimsson's story this morning here in semi-herbaceous Liphook, Hampshire, brings a slightly bemused smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois - no doubt about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

By complete coincidence, we spend a lot of today "dog-proofing" our tiny house here in Liphook, knowing that one boisterous dog - "Bjorn", together with one sleepy one (!) - "Sika", are going to be gracing our portals with their presence this afternoon, when our daughter Alison and husband Edward drop in for a "catch-up" (!), bringing the dogs with them, for the first time since Lois and I moved in here, back in January 2025.

And Lois and me, as inveterate former "cat-people" and mild "dog-o-phobes" (!), are understandably having a mild case of "the jitters" about the visit, that's for sure! We spend some time hiding away "eminently chewable" objects like my pair of "grandad-slippers", blocking potential escape routes in our tiny back garden, and shutting all the bedroom doors and all that kind of 'malarkey' (!!!). 

our daughter Alison and husband Edward visit us this afternoon,

together with their 2 dogs, the mischievious "Bjorn" and the sleepy "Sika"

In the event the visit passes off peacefully. The older of the two dogs, "Sika", is a bit of an "old man", who mostly sleeps a lot of the day, occasionally uttering a restless groan - a bit like Yours Truly, as I explain, to general laughter (!).

It helps that both dogs are simply exhausted, having spent the morning racing around Alison and Edward's 6.5 acre grounds, behind their crumbling Victorian mansion, originally built for one of Queen Victoria's vice-admirals, back in the 1870's or thereabouts. And Alison and Edward themselves are pretty 'pooped' having been shifting logs all afternoon, and generally trying to keep the garden in some sort of approximate order (!).

(left) the photo taken today with the old mansion covered in scaffolding and plastic sheeting,

and (right) the mansion seen here in happier times, showcased by Lois and one of the dogs

Lois and I have been looking forward to having a chat with them - Alison and Edward, not so much the dogs (!), and to hear about the latest exploits of their 3 teenage kids, Josie (19), a first year maths student at Durham, Rosalind (17), soon to be taking her A-Levels, and hoping to get a place at UCL, London, and Isaac (15) soon to be taking his GCSEs.

flashback to January: our daughter Alison with husband Edward,

and their 3 teenage kids, on their recent skiing trip to northern Sweden

Their youngest, Isaac, is very much into music and dramatic arts, and we hear today that he's just passed his audition for a part in a local performance of "9 to 5 - The Musical", to take place in nearby Guildford next year. 

Isaac will be playing the part of "Joe", the love-interest for Violet, one of the 3 rebellious women, played by Lily Tomlin in the 1980 film. And it's a treat for Lois and me today when Alison takes out her phone, and we hear a bit of Isaac's successful audition this last week, where he sings the song "Let Love Grow". He can certainly sing, that boy! And it's a bit of a change of pace to hear him sing a sensitive ballad, instead of "rocking out" with his boy-girl band, New Horizon. 

Kudos, Isaac!!!!!

flashback to December: our grandson Isaac "rocking out" on vocals

with his own boy-girl band at London's legendary "Dingwalls" music venue

Isaac is no stranger to local performances of famous musicals. Last summer he played the Tin Man in his school's production of "The Wizard of Oz", and he featured more recently in the local Music and Dramatic Arts production of "Legally Blonde", at Haslemere Hall, playing "the UPS guy".

(above) Isaac as the Tin Man, in his school's production of "The Wizard of Oz",

and below, Lois and me in the audience at Haslemere Hall, for Isaac's 

performance as "The UPS Guy" in "Legally Blonde - the Musical"

Awwww!!!! Go, Isaac !!!!!

16:00 Alison and Edward go home, taking the two dogs with them, luckily (!), leaving Lois and me to reflect on the chances that our own grandson will one day be a big "celebrity", possibly the type who buys his old "Granny and Poppa" a villa in the south of France, which will be nice!

And after a lovely tea, by coincidence, we settle down on the couch for some restful "celebrity" TV viewing, picking last night's "Saturday Night Live (UK)" as our focus. This satirical look-back at the week's events doesn't go out till 10pm, so for two fully-paid-up "old codgers" like Lois and me, it's certainly past our bedtime, so we just have to watch it "on demand", a day later, that's for sure!

And Lois and I are delighted tonight to see a clip from a special celebrity edition of "Who Wants To Remain A Millionaire", featuring presenter "Jeremy Clarkson", and celebrity guest "Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer", which is a bit of a minor "treat", to put it mildly!

Sir Keir's a busy man, as we know, so it's nice to see the show is limiting his 'ordeal' tonight by just giving him one question to answer, which is thoughtful! And Keir's question tonight is a tough one, that's for sure! 

Is it ever a good idea to give Peter Mandelson a job?

Yes, a "toughie" certainly! And no surprise that tonight Sir Keir makes full us of the programme's three lifelines, to get himself some hints, starting with "Ask the Audience".

Although the audience votes, like, a billion to one (more probably!!!), that the correct answer is 'C' - "Not In A Million Years" - Starmer is, understandably perhaps, still uncertain. And as he says, "It's so much easier to decide when you're watching at home", and we see what he means!!!

After trying the 50-50 option twice, Keir, in desperation, asks for the "Phone A Friend" option.

Phone a friend, if that friend is Peter Mandelson? Seems like a good choice to us !!!! And certainly Peter turns out to agree with the audience, which seems to be as good confirmation as Keir is likely to get tonight, at least!

Despite all the lifeline hints seemingly pointing one way, Sir Keir still gets the answer wrong, plumping eventually for Answer D - "Yes", which is disappointing!

Poor Keir !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!

Saturday April 25th 2026 "Have YOU ever chosen a song on a jukebox, and instantly regretted it? It's an easy trap to fall into!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever chosen a song on a jukebox and instantly regretted it? 

It happened to local man Jared Chambers this week, according to the local Onion News for East Hampshire - check below for my "potted version" of the saga, which seems to have gripped the nation, to put it mildly!

Poor Chambers!!!! Because, as if to heighten the poor guy's misery, on an admittedly 'slow news' day (!), this purely local story was quickly picked up by 'the nationals' - the Times, Telegraph etc - and even led the BBC World Service's early morning bulletins for a while, would you believe!

Poor Chambers (again) !!! His name will be 'mud' all over the world today, that's for sure !!!!

And reading his story here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, today, brings an admittedly semi-tired smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, currently suffering our own moderately semi-tired reaction to our this week's COVID jab, which is a pity, to put it mildly!!!

me and my wife Lois - seen here on the sofa tonight, suffering a 

moderately tired reaction to our COVID jab this week

Still feeling listless, we've had a moderately semi-exhausted day today, with the undoubted highlight being another afternoon in bed for 'statutory nap-time', followed in second place by a triumphant outing this morning to the local Co-op: Lois, like me a frugal soul never anxious to waste money, insisted that we use up a £2 off voucher (if you spend £20), and pick up a few grocery items at the same time - a win-win, if ever there was one!!!!

And I can exclusively reveal that the visit was a triumph, not only making full use of our coupon, but also coming away with an even better one - £3 off if you spend £30 !!! We're 'on a roll' here, that's for sure, and the sky's the limit!!!!

(above) the local Co-op on Headley Road, and (below) the results of our

bargain purchase today, and its promise of more riches for our next little outing!

Feeling generous after our money-saving trip this morning, before we hop into bed this afternoon, Lois doesn't forget to water her flowers and veg, which is a nice touch in this uncharacteristically dry spell of weather, and typical of her generous nature, to put it mildly!!!

before we hop into bed this afternoon, my wife Lois doesn't forget

to water her flowers and veg, in a typically generous move !

Luckily we've got some cheering news from our little family to keep us talking, no doubt about that!

Our 51-year-old son-in-law Edward, with his brother Tom, is competing in the Race the Sun (South Downs) charity triathlon challenge today 20 miles to the south of us on the English Channel coast: a 10 mile hike, followed by 2 miles in a kayak, and finally a 33-mile bike ride - what madness!!!! And later he sends us several pictures of their day, which is nice.

our son-in-law Edward (left), with brother Tom, seen today here 

on their 10-mile hike in Sussex,  along the English Channel coast

The lads officially finished 19th out of 120 competitors, but Edward says they would have been 16th if they'd remembered to stop their official clocks when there was an unexpected queue for kayaks - what madness (again) !!!!

Edward, and Alison, our daughter, are going through busy times at the moment. For over a year, they've been renting a house in Churt, Surrey, while their own house - a crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley, Hampshire, 5 miles from us - is being extensively renovated. They're hoping to be able to move back into their home in the autumn, but who knows!!! And yesterday Alison and Edward met with their builders for their weekly 'catch-up' session, touring some of their mansion wearing some stylish 'hard hats', together with representatives of the builders' "team" - what madness, isn't it!!!

flashback to yesterday: our daughter Alison, with husband Edward, and with 

representatives of their builders, tour the 'shell' of their crumbling Victorian

mansion wearing stylish hi-viz jackets and 'hard hats' - what madness!!!

Meanwhile, 9000 miles away in Australia, they're marking ANZAC Day this weekend, celebrating the brave men and women from Australia and New Zealand who came to the UK's aid in two world wars, coming over in 1914 and again in 1939, sailing to Europe and the Middle East in large numbers, to play their part in the defence of the mother country.

Our daughter Sarah lives over there in Perth, Western Australia, with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, and yesterday there were special events to mark ANZAC day at the twins' Anglican grammar school in Perth's northern suburbs, with pictures on social media. I expect that Lois and I will hear more about the day during our weekly catch-up video call with the family on Sunday morning.

flashback to yesterday: ANZAC Day marked at our twin granddaughters'

Anglican grammar school, in Perth's northern suburbs

ANZAC Day is a big thing over there, and it's touching to see the obvious pride that today's population still feels over the achievements and exploits of their forefathers. 

Sarah and family moved to Perth a couple of years ago. Before going to Australia, our twin granddaughters Lily and Jessica had been learning all about the two world wars and the ANZAC contribution, in history lessons at their previous primary school near Evesham, Worcestershire UK, so it'll be fascinating for them, I'm sure, to hear about it again from the Australian and New Zealand viewpoint.

flashback to July 2024: our twin granddaughters playing their parts in their English 

school's production of "Pirates of the Curry Bean", in Worcestershire UK

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!