Monday July 20th 2026 "Friends, have YOU ever struggled to survive a night in a persistently folding bed?"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever struggled to control a folding bed that seemingly wants to "eat you alive"? It's happened to most of us, hasn't it, at one time or another!

Luckily, silent comedian Max Ruckle shows us how to survive a night on one of those things, according to an exclusive in today's Onion News!

Poor Ruckle!!!! 

Reading Ruckle's tragi-comic story today, however, brings a semi-vacuous smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-rural Liphook, Hampshire this morning, no doubt about that!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

We're smiling, partly because today we've been struggling to pack away our own folding beds - the ones we put up for the recent visit of our daughter Sarah and family, who flew in from Perth, Australia for a 3-week stay with us at the end of June, and who are today back home in Perth, experiencing the joys of restarting work.

And, in the case of our 12-year-old twin granddaughters Lily and Jessica, they're experiencing the joys of starting so-called "Term 3" at their private Church of England school, deep in the depths of the Australian winter, would you believe!!!!

me today, struggling to fold away the folding beds (no pun intended!!!!) we put up

to accommodate our daughter Sarah and family these last 3 weeks, after they

flew in to London's Heathrow Airport for their annual stay with us, which is nice!

Busy busy busy!!!! And you should have seen me struggling to hoover the carpets and get up all the crumbs from one too many midnight feasts, into the bargain !!!!

archive pictures of me wielding my wicked little 'hoover' (!)

[Is that all you two 'noggins' have done today, Colin? Put away a couple of folding beds, and done a bit of light hoovering ? - Ed]

Absolutely not! We somehow also found time after lunch to wallow in nostalgia watching the rerun of 1980-1990's hit Australian soap opera "Neighbours", the series that our two then-young-teenage daughters became hooked on, eventually dragging Lois and me, 'kicking and screaming', into the show's enthusiastic army of followers!

What a madness it all seems now !!!!!

flashback to 1990: Lois and me with our daughters Alison (15) 

and Sarah (13), in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire,

when we four were the centre of the universe, and "Neighbours"

was on "the box" every day of the week - what madness!!!!

And today, Lois and I even delay our afternoon in bed to catch the very first episode on the U+Drama channel, you know, the episode where mild-mannered bank-manager Des's wedding gets sabotaged, during his 'bucks party' (ie. "stag party" in standard English (!)), by Des's steamy encounter with cheeky local stripper Daphne!

Did you notice how young everybody looks in those far-off early episodes? Des looks about 12 and far too young either to get married, or to get mixed up with a stripper at his 'bucks party' !!!!!

(left) mild-mannered bank manager, and (right) cheeky local stripper

Daphne, who gets hired for the 'bucks party', effectively sabotaging Des's wedding haha!!!!

Even Neighbours-stalwarts, and 'elder statesmen' figures, Paul and Jim Robinson look like little more than mere boys!!!!!

(left) Paul Robinson and (right) Jim Robinson

What madness, isn't it !!!!!

And do you remember, years later when Jim (played by Alan Dale) got 'killed off' by the writers, after he asked for more money? That'll teach him haha!!!

Jim Robinson (Alan Dale) in less happy times, when he gets killed off (bottom left)

on screen by the writers, after the actor had asked for more money haha!!!!

19:00 And this evening, luckily, there are signs on TV that even this summer of sports madness is starting to wind down a bit, which is a comfort! 

Lois and I suspect that the Soccer World Cup and Wimbledon, at least, must be over, because there doesn't seem to be any sign of either of them in tonight's schedules, and on the contrary - sign of hope - the Monday night quizzes are back, and with a vengeance!

And what a joy, for Lois and me, to wallow in the first programme in a new series of Only Connect, which tests lateral thinking.

Can YOU spot the connection between these 4 seemingly unrelated 'things' ?

Yes, of course! 

They're all 'things' that can be used, as verbs, to describe various cooking methods, i.e. 'grill',  'roast', 'poach' and 'boil'.

Simples !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Sunday July 19th 2026 "Have YOU visited YOUR local zoo recently? You might get a big surprise haha!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU visited your local zoo recently? Give it a go - you might be surprised at the new-style exhibits, like the one at New York's Bronx Zoo, according to today's exclusive in the Onion News! 

Check it out - and do it now haha!!!!!

Fascinating stuff, isn't it! And a wake-up call, perhaps, for the UK's own local zoos, to be finally dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century maybe? Once again, America shows the way!!!!

And certainly those 'loitering teens' seem to be coping well with their adjustment to zoo life, and, reading the story today brings a welcome half-smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in semi-attractive Liphook, Hampshire - no doubt about that!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

Lois and I are currently undergoing our own "period of adjustment", having said goodbye, just two days ago, to our dear daughter Sarah and family, who, after spending 3 weeks with us, finally flew home to Perth, Australia, leaving Lois and me to rattle round our house like two peas in a drum.

Poor us !!!!!

flashback to Friday: Lois and I bid a tearful farewell to our daughter Sarah,

her husband Francis, and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica

At least this morning, however, we get a five-minute whatsapp audio call with the family, on their way out to the shops to do some much-needed re-stocking of groceries etc, and hear about their long, 17 hour non-stop flight home. 

Apparently, after their gruelling flight they were dismayed to find that their car, parked way out in the airport "boonies", proved to have a flat battery, which was a pity! Luckily this was the car the family had paid for roadside assistance for, so it was just a question of another 1-2 hour wait for somebody to drop by and 'jump-start' it for them, before they could get home and finally go to bed - poor them !!!!

(left) the family's long, 17-hour non-stop flight home, only to find their car,

out in the "boonies" of the Perth airport car park, with a flat battery - what madness!!!!

On our call to them this morning, we catch them dealing with their own "period of adjustment,  at the start of their first week back home, with Sarah due to re-start work at her accountancy job in Perth tomorrow, and 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica all set to start what they call, locally, "Term 3" - also tomorrow, sorting out their uniforms etc etc. 

Their twin's school has been active on social media this weekend, reminding students of the school's uniform requirements, and tempting them with the school canteen's latest delicacies - yum yum!

Poor twins!!!  

At least for our daughter Sarah herself, however, it won't be so much of a shock getting back into the normal routine, because, during her stay with us, she was continuing to do bits of work online for her firm, trouble-shooting problems etc - what madness, isn't it !!!

flashback to a couple of weeks ago: although officially on holiday

from her accountancy job in Perth, our daughter Sarah continues

to do bits of trouble-shooting for her firm online, while Lois

works on the official 'holiday jigsaw'. What madness, isn't it !!!!

Yes, today Lois and I are trying to readjust to what we laughingly call 'normal life' again (!), making our first appearance for a month today at Lois's church's Sunday Morning Meeting at a village hall just outside nearby Petersfield, where church-members seem genuinely pleased to see us, which is nice. We get an especially warm welcome from fellow church-member and archaeologist Grahame, who always makes a bee-line for Lois and me, I think because of our shared interest in history and archaeology, which is nice.

(left) the village hall near Petersfield where church services are held,

and (right) us waiting for the meeting to begin, with, seen in the background,

fellow church-member and noted archaeologist Grahame

Grahame, who's buddies with TV archaeologists Alice Roberts and Raksha Dave, is excited today, because tomorrow he's opening the British Archaeology's week-long, 2026 Conference with a talk about Roman Winchester. 

(above) details of this year's conference of the British Archaeological Association,

which Grahame will open, with a talk on Roman Winchester, and (below)

flashback to last August, when Grahame (in the blue shirt) took church-members 

on a tour of Roman Silchester, giving us all some unwieldy maps to manipulate (!)

And this morning Grahame also regales us with amusing anecdotes from his experiences this week at a local amateur theatre-group's performance of The Sound of Music, where, he says, audience members dressed as nuns were awarded prizes: (1) for most convincing costumes, and (2) for the best "nun-faces", whatever that means (!). 

Grahame himself assures us that he personally didn't take part in the competition, which was probably for the best!

What an extraordinary mixture Grahame is - no doubt about that! But he's also lots of fun, which is nice!

Yes, "the hills are alive with the sound of Grahame" - that's for sure haha!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Saturday July 18th 2026 "Friends, are you about to get the better of an insect in YOUR house?"

Yes, Friends, are YOU starting to get the better of an insect, in your house, a mosquito perhaps,  that's been particularly targeting YOU?

Because fortunately, for many of us, the tide of this relentless war is turning, at least for plucky local resident Derek Moore, according to this Onion News exclusive.

Kudos, Derek !!!!!

Poor Derek !!!!!

And reading about local man Derek's heroic duel brings a much needed smile to the bite-ridden faces of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-tropical Liphook, Hampshire - no doubt about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We just yesterday said farewell to our daughter Sarah and family - husband Francis and their 12-year-old daughters Lily and Jessica - who have this morning returned to their home in Perth, Australia, after a 3-week stay in our house, ending in an epic 16 hour non-stop flight from London's Heathrow Airport, would you believe!

flashback to 6:45am, Friday morning - we bid a tearful farewell 

to our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and their 12-year-old twin daughters,

on their way to Heathrow to catch the morning flight to Perth, Australia - sob sob!!!!

And poor Lois and me are now left, once more, alone in our house, rattling around like two peas in a drum, with only our memories, plus several mosquito bites from our adventures, as we took the family around the area, braving the unusual heatwave over the last 3 weeks, which is a pity !!!!

Our current tubes of soothing witch hazel gel now standing empty, we're forced to use an old bottle of the stuff, past its "best before" date, a nostalgic relic of the UK's last official heatwave - what madness!

I showcase our remaining bottle of witch hazel for treating

our many mosquito bites - yes, it's past its best-buy date, a relic

of the UK's last official heatwave! What madness, isn't it !!!!

Not only that, but today we have to start putting our house to rights again, stripping beds and washing bedding - you will have been through the same kind of thing, I'm sure!!!!

beds to be stripped, and towels and bedding to be washed - what madness!!!

Yes, what a madness it all is - isn't it!

Poor us !!!!!!!

And now, suddenly having to focus just on each other, after 3 weeks of hosting an Australian family of four, an exhausted Lois and I decide to spend the afternoon in bed, which is a bit decadent of us, because we're supposed to be in the local village hall watching a local play about a local writer, but, then, that's just us! 

We decide to throw caution to the winds, and switch our tickets to next Saturday at nearby Headley, when we'll eventually, hopefully, get to see the acclaimed 'local play for local people', "Flora Heatherly", all about local writer Flora Thompson (1876-1947), who wrote the autobiographical 'Lark Rise to Candleford' which was a big hit drama series on the BBC a few years ago. You must remember that!!!!

So hopefully we'll see that next week - if we're not in bed (!) - so watch this space!!!

[I can't wait! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Tuesday June 30th - Friday July 17th 2026 "Our Australian visitors - come and gone in a three-week 'flash' haha!!!!!"

This blog briefly covers highlights of the visit of our dear daughter Sarah and family - husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica - who flew into London's Heathrow Airport from Perth, Australia on Tuesday June 30th and flew back home again on Friday July 18th 2026. 

Lois and I had a wonderful time, although we're feeling a bit exhausted now our visitors have gone home, and now that our house in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, has suddenly returned to its normal state, with the two of us rattling around in it like two peas in a drum  - yikes !!

There was lots of laughter, despite the serious nature of the events and attractions etc that we visited (!). Here is Colin's pick of the many epic laugh-moments, that scored above 6 on Richter Scale !!!!!

[That's enough laughing! - Ed]

Now the facts - the highlights, in brief:

(1) the trip to London, to do a lunch cruise on the River Thames and then going to the top of Europe's tallest building, the Shard.

...later, somehow finding time to go up to the top of the Shard (1000 ft):

(2) Watching one of our other grandchildren, Isaac (15) and his band New Horizon, opening up for the Haslemere Fringe Festival.

(3) a visit to the grand old stately home of Petworth House and to its enormous grounds.

(4) the trip to Warner Bros Studio near Watford, just north of London, to do the Harry Potter tour and see all the sets where the filming took place.

And - um - that's it !!!!! 

Finally, just time for some early morning, tearful, goodbyes....

Tomorrow, it'll be back to reality again - yikes (again) !!!!!!

Byeeeeeeee!!!!!!!