Saturday April 255th 2026 "Have YOU ever chosen a song on a jukebox, and instantly regretted it? It's an easy trap to fall into!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever chosen a song on a jukebox and instantly regretted it? 

It happened to local man Jared Chambers this week, according to the local Onion News for East Hampshire - check below for my "potted version" of the saga, which seems to have gripped the nation, to put it mildly!

Poor Chambers!!!! Because, as if to heighten the poor guy's misery, on an admittedly 'slow news' day (!), this purely local story was quickly picked up by 'the nationals' - the Times, Telegraph etc - and even led the BBC World Service's early morning bulletins for a while, would you believe!

Poor Chambers (again) !!! His name will be 'mud' all over the world today, that's for sure !!!!

And reading his story here in semi-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, today, brings an admittedly semi-tired smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, currently suffering our own moderately semi-tired reaction to our this week's COVID jab, which is a pity, to put it mildly!!!

me and my wife Lois - seen here on the sofa tonight, suffering a 

moderately tired reaction to our COVID jab this week

Still feeling listless, we've had a moderately semi-exhausted day today, with the undoubted highlight being another afternoon in bed for 'statutory nap-time', followed in second place by a triumphant outing this morning to the local Co-op: Lois, like me a frugal soul never anxious to waste money, insisted that we use up a £2 off voucher (if you spend £20), and pick up a few grocery items at the same time - a win-win, if ever there was one!!!!

And I can exclusively reveal that the visit was a triumph, not only making full use of our coupon, but also coming away with an even better one - £3 off if you spend £30 !!! We're 'on a roll' here, that's for sure, and the sky's the limit!!!!

(above) the local Co-op on Headley Road, and (below) the results of our

bargain purchase today, and its promise of more riches for our next little outing!

Feeling generous after our money-saving trip this morning, before we hop into bed this afternoon, Lois doesn't forget to water her flowers and veg, which is a nice touch in this uncharacteristically dry spell of weather, and typical of her generous nature, to put it mildly!!!

before we hop into bed this afternoon, my wife Lois doesn't forget

to water her flowers and veg, in a typically generous move !

Luckily we've got some cheering news from our little family to keep us talking, no doubt about that!

Our 51-year-old son-in-law Edward, with his brother Tom, is competing in the Race the Sun (South Downs) charity triathlon challenge today 20 miles to the south of us on the English Channel coast: a 10 mile hike, followed by 2 miles in a kayak, and finally a 33-mile bike ride - what madness!!!! And later he sends us several pictures of their day, which is nice.

our son-in-law Edward (left), with brother Tom, seen today here 

on their 10-mile hike in Sussex,  along the English Channel coast

The lads officially finished 19th out of 120 competitors, but Edward says they would have been 16th if they'd remembered to stop their official clocks when there was an unexpected queue for kayaks - what madness (again) !!!!

Edward, and Alison, our daughter, are going through busy times at the moment. For over a year, they've been renting a house in Churt, Surrey, while their own house - a crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley, Hampshire, 5 miles from us - is being extensively renovated. They're hoping to be able to move back into their home in the autumn, but who knows!!! And yesterday Alison and Edward met with their builders for their weekly 'catch-up' session, touring some of their mansion wearing some stylish 'hard hats', together with representatives of the builders' "team" - what madness, isn't it!!!

flashback to yesterday: our daughter Alison, with husband Edward, and with 

representatives of their builders, tour the 'shell' of their crumbling Victorian

mansion wearing stylish hi-viz jackets and 'hard hats' - what madness!!!

Meanwhile, 9000 miles away in Australia, they're marking ANZAC Day this weekend, celebrating the brave men and women from Australia and New Zealand who came to the UK's aid in two world wars, coming over in 1914 and again in 1939, sailing to Europe and the Middle East in large numbers, to play their part in the defence of the mother country.

Our daughter Sarah lives over there in Perth, Western Australia, with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, and yesterday there were special events to mark ANZAC day at the twins' Anglican grammar school in Perth's northern suburbs, with pictures on social media. I expect that Lois and I will hear more about the day during our weekly catch-up video call with the family on Sunday morning.

flashback to yesterday: ANZAC Day marked at our twin granddaughters'

Anglican grammar school, in Perth's northern suburbs

ANZAC Day is a big thing over there, and it's touching to see the obvious pride that today's population still feels over the achievements and exploits of their forefathers. 

Sarah and family moved to Perth a couple of years ago. Before going to Australia, our twin granddaughters Lily and Jessica had been learning all about the two world wars and the ANZAC contribution, in history lessons at their previous primary school near Evesham, Worcestershire UK, so it'll be fascinating for them, I'm sure, to hear about it again from the Australian and New Zealand viewpoint.

flashback to July 2024: our twin granddaughters playing their parts in their English 

school's production of "Pirates of the Curry Bean", in Worcestershire UK

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

Friday April 24th 2026 "Have YOU ever been 'the new guy in the office'? It's the pits, isn't it!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU ever been 'the new guy in the office'? Not a nice experience is it!!!! 

And if YOU are the office 'newbie', reflect that even being, at the same time, a trained astrophysicist doesn't really help you cope with that stressful situation, according to this morning's Onion News! And if you're short of time, just check out this handy  'potted version', supplied free of charge by Yours Truly, which will blow your socks off, that's for sure!!!!

Poor Taylor !!!!

And reading Taylor's story this morning, here in semi-translucent Liphook, Hampshire, brings a twisted smile to the faces of me and my 'wifey' Lois, no question about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're laughing, because Yours Truly is about to become the county's newest Latin teacher, which is mad! 

I'll be teaching Latin for Beginners to a group of 'old codgers', having been 'headhunted' by local U3A bigwigs Joe and Richard. Joe is a big shot in the local Latin-teaching 'mafia', and Richard is a 'big cheese' in the local U3A in nearby Haslemere. And myself taking on this new role as the county's newest Latin teacher for Old Codgers, will make me a prime target for all the bullies in the U3A "in these here parts", as people say in these here parts, that's for sure!

notorious local bullies: (left) Joe, the local U3A teacher of "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers", 

and (right) Richard, the local U3a "groups coordinator"

Lois has promised to 'toughen me up' so that I can stand up to any bullying - the local U3A Latin bigwigs are notorious for their 'macho' culture. So I should be okay, but watch this space !!!!!

As you can probably guess, this Friday is another quiet day for Lois and me. We're still feeling a bit "rubbish" after Wednesday's COVID jab, with slightly aching upper arms, so we have to be a bit careful during our initial 'rough-housing' session, but no serious harm done, so that's all good !!!!

Lois and I have also started to plan for June, when our daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia with husband Francis and their 12-year-old twin daughters, will be arriving with her family for what we're hoping will become their regular 2 week stay here. They came last summer, partly for work reasons: Sarah is still doing two jobs - her old job in Evesham UK as well as her new job in Perth, which is mad!

flashback to July 2025: we say goodbye to our daughter Sarah and family

after their 2025 stay with Lois and me, on one of Sarah's "work trips" - sob sob!!!

Somehow we've got to accommodate them all again in our tiny house. Last year, Sarah wound up having to sleep in our living-room on a folding bed, and use our kitchen table as her 'work space', which wasn't ideal, so Lois and I are planning a rethink for this year. 

flashback to the family's stay with us last year: our poor daughter Sarah,

sleeping in our living-room and doing her office work in our kitchen - what madness!!!!

Luckily we have a chance today to talk the best arrangements over with our other daughter Alison, who pops in to see us with her eldest daughter Josie. Josie (19), a first-year maths student at Durham, will be travelling back up north by train on Sunday, at the end of the Easter vacation, so today is also our last chance to chat with Josie before she disappears for ten weeks.

(left) our daughter Alison and our granddaughter Josie (19) who drop in

for a chat this afternoon, and (right) Josie in her student room at Durham

We also hear about our son-in-law Edward's latest physical challenge, taking part with his brother in a local charity triathlon, dubbed "Race for the Sun (South Downs)", which comprises 'a hike, a kayak and a bike', the hike taking them 10 miles, the kayaking a further 2 miles, and then a punishing bike ride of 33 miles, which is a bit mad. Rather him than us!!!

And it'll all be taking place tomorrow 60 miles south east of here, on the English Channel coast, somewhere near Eastbourne, Sussex. Alison sends me an app that will enable Lois and me to "track" Edward's progress, which is going to challenge our technical capabilities, I can tell already! And Alison also passes us some pictures from last year's event, which gives us a rough idea.

Poor Edward !!!!!!

But Edward is no stranger to charity bike rides, at least - that's for sure! Just look at this previous effort of his, doing one of his charity rides to London with close friend Jonathan, a few years ago.

outside Buckingham Palace and by Tower Bridge, our son-in-law Edward (right)

with close friend Jonathan, on one of their charity bike rides 

And it makes Lois and me tired just to hear about Edward and all his adventures! What a day today has been for Lois and me! No wonder we need something 'light' on TV tonight, to help us 'chill out' in time for bed, no question about that!

Here's our choice: this week's edition of comedy news quiz "Have I Got News For You", hosted this week by comedienne Sue Perkins.

Here is tonight's missing words headline:

And the answer? "13ft crocodile at reception desk", of course! It happened in Zimbabwe, and here are the pictures from the hotel's security cameras:

The 13ft crocodile, fortunately, didn't get access to any guest tooms, presenter Sue Perkins tells us, "because it wasn't a Travelodge".

That was a reference to the shock story from a few days ago:

What a truly crazy world we live in !!!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday April 23rd 2026 "Are YOU dissatisfied with YOUR doctor? Why not try one of the new ones currently being trialled !"

Yes, Friends, if YOU are dissatisfied with YOUR doctor, there's a new experimental 'strain' of NHS doctors who will be 'taking the strain' very soon - no pun intended!!!!!

Onion News has more.... 

Kudos there, Cosgrove!!!

And the story certainly brings a cheeky smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, here in partly-leafy Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure!!!

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

Unfortunately, it's another "medical" day for us after yesterday's little "COVID jab outing" (!), and today I've got an appointment with the nurse at our local surgery for my annual blood test. Whether she's one of the new-style 'placebo nurses' I'm unable to say definitively! After all, the whole point of them is that you can't tell the difference, isn't it: otherwise 'the spell would be broken', which would be mad!!!

(left) our local NHS surgery, and (right) a typical blood test 'malarkey' (!)

The nurse asks me which arm I want her to 'do', and, as always, I pick the left, as I'm right-handed. Call me a bit 'conventional' if you like haha!!!

Yesterday I got some COVID vaccine put into my left arm, and today I get some blood taken out of it, so I suspect that the weight of my arm won't have changed very significantly - something pushed in, something pulled out - what a malarkey !!!!

She only takes a bit of my blood, I think. I certainly don't feel any lighter when I leave. Not like poor old 1950's comedian Tony Hancock, when he volunteered to be a blood donor, and was famously shocked to hear from his doctor that they were going to take as much as a pint. 

What madness that was!!!! And what a load of rubbish poor Hancock had to put up with for his pains!!!

Actually, by coincidence, both Lois and I are still feeling a bit 'rubbish' today, so, after lunch, we get into bed for 'statutory nap-time', although we know it's going to be just a quickie today. Our daughter Alison, who lives just 10 miles away just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, is going to drop by at 2:30pm for a "catch-up", which will be nice!

Alison and family are still in their so-called 'temporary' rental home in Churt, while their own crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley is being refurbished - so ,more madness there!!! Their mansion should be ready to move back into in the autumn, but unfortunately the Swedish landlord of their temporary rental home is simultaneously trying to sell, so it's a 'toss-up' whether the family will be able to stay there till their proper house is finished and ready to move back into. 

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

(left) our daughter Alison, who drops in on us this afternoon, for a 'catch-up',

and (right) her family's crumbling Victorian mansion, still being renovated

the family's temporary rental home, now on the market for 'a snip' - but you'll

need a cool £1.1 million if you want to 'snap up' that 'snip' - what madness, isn't it!!!!

19:00 What a day for Lois and me - busy busy busy, yet again!

Luckily there's something restful to wind down to this evening, an episode from diminutive Scottish comedienne Susan Calman's 7th series of "Grand Days Out", on Channel 5, which is a relief, to put it mildly!!!!

Tonight, Susan's in Nottinghamshire, and she ends her travels in the county a few miles north of Nottingham, with a visit to Newstead Abbey, ancestral home of Victorian hell-raiser and poet, Lord Byron (1788-1824).

Not only did Byron have a 'large to XXL' 'gaff', he also had a large personality to match, no doubt about that!

Byron has been described as the world's first modern celebrity, one who marketed a 'romantic' image of himself, limping around moodily and wearing a cape. Dubbed 'mad, bad, and dangerous to know', he's believed also to be the first modern recipient of fan mail from his hordes of female admirers. Women all wanted a lock of his hair, we're told. 

And in order to keep himself "pale, slender and interesting", he consumed a lot of vinegar, thought at the time to be the best way to keep your weight down, would you believe!

And of course, Byron also found time to write a ton of 'tortured poetry', needless to say!

Susan herself, however, confesses that she personally has never been much into the tortured stuff. Her own wife has a different way of romancing her, she says.

So what's the 'takeaway' from Susan's touching confession? Susan spells it out for us, which is nice!

Kudos, Susan! 

But what a crazy life they led, in those far-off times!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!