Tuesday August 18th 2026 "Aren't 'couples' just SO annoying?! Always hogging the headlines these days!!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU find couples are getting more and more annoying these days - thinking they're so clever and glamorous, cleverer and more glamourous than everybody else - what madness!!!!

I counted, like, 300 headlines about couples today, in our copy of Onion News, and that was just on page 94, would you believe!!!!

Sickening, isn't it!!! But, weirdly, the stories bring an awkward smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois, "lapping them up" here in semi-edgy Liphook, Hampshire, no question about that!

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

Neighbours have warned us that, in our desire to justify our locally-famous "moniker" of "Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", we've been neglecting to show proof of our other accolade - sometimes totally forgetting that we were several months ago dubbed "East Hampshire's Most Glamourous Retired Couple" by readers of "East Hampshire Glamour Magazine" - oops !!!!

Yes oops! Our bad!!!!

And today, Lois and I set about trying to restore our now rather faded-looking 'most glamourous' title by planning a few public appearances to scotch the rumours, and, hopefully, silence the doubters and the nay-sayers, and hopefully also some of the "moaning Minnies", who think we're so-called "past it", would you believe!!!!

Some of the pictures that earned us that coveted "most glamourous" title (!):

all dressed up, and "ready to party like it's 1999" - Lois and me,

getting ready for a night on the town on New Millennium Eve, 1999

And today, Lois and I decided to waste no more time before "upping our game", and doing it "in spades", that's for sure !!!

An appearance tomorrow at an exhibition of prints by local artist Flora Twort in nearby Petersfield is now firmly "on the calendar" for starters, and should start the ball rollling! Then, with hopefully local press interest duly awoken, we're planning to follow that up with an appearance next Tuesday at Beacon Hill's iconic Adriano's Italian Restaurant for our 54th wedding anniversary, which is mad (!). 

(above) Petersfield Museum's exhibition of works by local artist Flora Twort

 where we plan to "drop by" tomorrow, and (below) flashback to June 2025:

we dine at Beacon Hill's Adriano's Italian Restaurant for Lois's 79th birthday

And, after our anniversary is "done and dusted", the icing on the cake (no pun intended!!!) will be an appearance at Haslemere Hall for local community theatre workshop's staging of Andrew Lloyd Webber's sparkling 1968 musical "Joseph's Technicolour Dreamcoat". 

Better don your sun-glassses - our own "technicolour" glamour (no pun intended !!!) is starting to show its face again, no doubt about that!!!!!

I have to add, however, that, on top of earning us "brownie points" on the glamour pages of local paper The Liphook Herald, these appearances will also "tick numerous boxes" on mine and Lois's personal "walk down memory lane", which is nice!

The exhibition of artworks by local artist Flora Twort (1893-1985) is a reminder that, next month, Lois and I will officially become posthumous relatives of Flora, when my niece Lucy will be marrying Flora's cousin's great-granddaughter Rosanna (if I've got that right!!!) in a ceremony in Ipswich, Suffolk, which we will hopefully be attending.

flashback to May: Lois and me on a visit to see my sister Gill in Ipswich, (left)

dining with Gill's daughter Lucy and her fiancee Rosanna at a local Turkish restaurant

And our guest appearance next week at the local "Imagine That!" production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat" is a reminder that we first saw a performance of this musical back in the early 1980's, during our 3-year stay in the US, at a little community theatre in Ellicott City, Maryland. 

flashback to the early 1980's: (left) Lois and me with our daughters Alison and Sarah,

during our 3-year stay in the US, seen here touring Virginia's Blue Ridge Mountains,

and (right) the community theatre in Ellicott City, Maryland, where we first saw "Joseph"

Also, many years later, in 1991, I took our daughter Sarah to see a performance of the musical at the London Palladium, starring Aussie soap-star Jason Donovan, a role which he reprised for our late Queen Elizabeth's Platinum Jubilee, back in 2022. 

(above) flashback to 1991: the London Palladium production of "Joseph..."

starring Aussie soap-star Jason Donovan which I took our daughter Sara to see,

and (below) Donovan reprising the role for the Queen's Platinum Jubilee (2022)

Happy days!!!!

So, for Lois and me - the local press's latest "glamour couple" - is Liphook starting to look like too small a stage for us? Is it perhaps going to be a case of "Liphook today, Hollywood tomorrow!", maybe?

I wonder.....!

[Get real, Colin! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Monday August 17th 2026 "Friends, when did YOU last eat a piece of fruit? Well, why not eat one now!!!"

 Yes, Friends, when did YOU last eat a piece of fruit? If more than half an hour, better think about maybe "topping up" with another one, and do it quick!

Fruit is dominating the headlines today - take Onion News, which has 3 "fruity" headlines on page 94 alone, if I'm not very much mistaken!!!!

And today's increasingly dominant obsession with fruit brings a unhealthily sensuous smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois, here in semi-attractive Liphook, Hampshire - that's for sure!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

You see, today is yet another unusually busy day for us, would you believe! With temperatures slightly cooler, we shop for fruit and other essentials in Liphook's flagship Sainsbury's Supermarket, and later spend a "fruity" afternoon in bed with handfuls of blackberries each for use in "statutory nap-time", an experience which somehow suddenly feels way more comfortable today, after the recent succession of torrid heatwaves!

And on top of all that, we somehow find time to squeeze in a 4000-step walk over the "hallowed, but parched turf" of local soccer giants Liphook United, which is mad (!), even stopping to pick tubs of blackberries in the bushes along the way! 

Lois and I are both seriously out of shape, stuck in the house day after day recently, because of all this summer's heatwaves, so we're starting a programme of increasing our daily step-count "one step at a time", as people say. So it'll be a 4001-step walk tomorrow (!). And if you know a local walk that length, send us a postcard giving details, maps, places to stop for a coffee and doughnut: all the relevant "gen", if you please haha!!!

another busy day, with temperatures at last starting to cool: (above, centre) 

shopping for fruit in Liphook's flagship Sainsbury's Supermarket, 

and (below) doing a 4000-step walk over the "hallowed but parched turf"  

of local soccer giants Liphook United - what madness, isn't it!

No wonder neighbours have dubbed us "Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", a title which we earn "in spades" today - no question about that!!!! And our "super-fruity" day is climaxed at 6pm, when those freshly-picked blackberries come in very handy at tea-time, with dessert a gorgeous mix of blackberry and apple with yoghurt - yum yum, what's not to like haha!

There's even a fruit question on tonight's Only Connect, our favourite TV quiz, which tests lateral thinking. Can you spot the connection between these 4 seemingly unrelated "things"?

I think you've guessed this one already, haven't you, with the benefit of my "heavy hint" above! Am I right? Or am I right!

Yes these are each an expression of a fruit with a letter "y" on the end: very satisfactory ("peachy"), American slang for British person ("limey"), upper-class accent ("plummy") and ostensible author" of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" ("Lemony Snicket"). Simples !!!!!

Here's a more difficult one for you, however - from the programme's "Sequences Round". Can YOU name the fourth element in this sequence?

Yes, of course! It's "most numbers of Nobel Prizes won by individual countries, in ascending order", with an example given for each.

The missing 4th element is the USA and the programme chooses Linus Pauling as the US example, given that he's one of the only two Nobel recipients to have won more than one prize: in both chemistry and peace. The only other double-recipient was Marie Curie, who got both the physics and the chemistry prize, which are "almost the same thing", as programme-presenter Victoria Coren-Mitchell points out (!).

 

Victoria Coren Mitchell goes on to tell us some of the numbers: France (79 prizes), Germany (116), UK (145), and then she asks the teams to guess the number for the US:

Poor Donald!!!

And, on the subject of politics, Victoria uses a question about wartime UK Prime Ministers to acquaint the programme's viewers with another "fun fact".

Poor Liz !!!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Sunday August 16th 2026 "Friends, if this isn't too personal, do YOU have a secret beard somewhere on YOUR face?"

Yes, Friends, if it's not too personal question, do YOU have a secret beard a-growing and a-flowing somewhere on YOUR face? That whacky "beard look" is gaining ground, to judge from today's Onion News, which has two so-called "beard stories" on page 94 alone, which is kind of a record, I think!!!

And these increasingly common stories bring an uncomfortable grin to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, that's for sure!

my wife Lois and me - the most recent pictures

Let me put my cards on the table at this point, however! Neither of us has a beard, although - "woke" as we both undoubtedly are - we have no objection to people that do have either a beard, or the appearance of a beard, which is nice! Both the bearded and the non-bearded are welcome in our house, a policy which sends out a clear message of hope to the world, we, at least, both fervently believe (!).

[Get on with it! - Ed]

Beards are very much on our lips this morning (although not physically!), as Lois and I relax after the Sunday Morning Meeting today, in the calm atmosphere of Lois's church in a village hall just outside nearby Petersfield, Hampshire.

(left) the village hall outside Petersfield, Hampshire, with (right) Lois and me

in attendance at a recent typical Sunday Morning Meeting

We arrive a little late, and seeing our usual seats taken by visitors, we're heartened to be invited by fellow church-member and noted archaeologist Grahame (pictured in the background), to sit next to him today, for a change. Since we moved to this area back in January 2025, church-member Grahame has taken an undoubted fancy to Lois and me, and especially to Lois, probably in part because of our shared interest in history and archaeology, which is nice!

Last August, Grahame took a party of church members to see the ruins of nearby Roman town Silchester, Hampshire, kitting each of us out with enormous maps of the area, which proved too large to be practical, especially in the county's stiff winds, which was a pity!

flashback to August 2025: Grahame (in the blue shirt) showing us and other 

church-members around the ruins of Roman Silchester: (left) Grahame's pre-walk talk,

where he gives us each a huge map of the town - nice idea but (centre, right) 

the maps prove to be too large to be practical on the walk itself 

and get swiftly abandoned, which is a pity!

And after this morning's meeting, Roman specialist Grahame entertains Lois and me with some of his archaeology 'banter', telling us all about the BBC's efforts to "scale down" the buxomness of presenter Bettany Hughes, whom he often sees at work during his visits to Oxford's Bodleian Library. 

For good measure, Grahame adds some miscellany about Emperor Hadrian who ruled the Roman Empire between 117 and 138 AD. During his reign, Hadrian made a visit to Britain in 122 AD,  to check that his famous "Wall", which he'd ordered to be built across northern England to keep out the barbarians to the north, had been correctly installed by contractors, unlike Donald Trump's reflecting pool, as we, and others, have been reading all  about in the media recently (no names, no packdrill !!!!).

Hadrian was the first ever Roman Emperor to sport a beard, Grahame tells us, but the practice "caught on", and almost all emperors after Hadrian were careful to grow one, which almost became a "badge of office", which is interesting. And later today, we check on Google to see if this was just another of Grahame's "little stories" (!), but we find out that it's true, as Mr Google confirms in his reply to our tentative query.

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

12:00 The meeting finishes and Lois and I drive home to Liphook for a hurried lunch, because at 1:30 pm we're due to talk on our weekly Sunday "catch-up" call on whatsapp, with our daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia, and with Sarah's husband Francis and their 13-year-old twins Lily and Jessica.

Yes, today, it's "all go" again, for Lois and me! No wonder that neighbours have dubbed us "Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple" - and we've earned that accolade "in spades" over the last month or two, that's for sure!

after a hasty lunch, Lois and I finally get to settle down on the couch

for our weekly Sunday "catch-up" whatsapp call with our daughter Sarah

who lives in Perth, Australia with husband Francis and twins Lily and Jessica

Today we catch Sarah and family just finishing off a meal of Cornish pasties prepared by dad Francis. 

Sarah doesn't get a lot of time at weekends for meal-preparation. We call her "Sarah Two-Jobs", because while doing her accountancy job in Perth, she somehow also finds the time to keep doing her old accountancy job in Evesham UK, working online during evenings and weekends.

"Sarah Two-Jobs", (left) second from right with colleagues at the accountancy

firm she works for in Evesham UK, and (right) the picture we took when Lois and I

picked Sarah up from her Perth office, during our visit to Australia in 2018

What madness, isn't it !!!!

And as usual today, our little "Australian family" is highly amused when we tell them the latest news from "the mother country", and all the crazy world that they left behind them, a couple of years ago, when they moved to Perth, no question about that!

They can hardly believe it when we tell them about Friday evening's "shenanigans" here in the UK, when Louise Haigh, Andy Burnham's First Secretary of State, suddenly resurrected the musty-dusty old official "government emergency warning system", totally without warning (no pun intended!!!!): a system devised in the COVID era but not used for the last 6 years. 

The idea, in this case, was to warn of the dangers of inadvertently starting wildfires during the current UK heat wave, but caused general panic, with drivers swerving across lanes on motorways and all kinds of "malarkey", which wasn't the objective, to put it mildly!!!!!

Even Lois and I got caught off-guard by the alerts, would you believe! We were doing the washing-up in the kitchen on Friday evening when our phones started to make some incredibly threatening "Dr Who / Tardis" - "alien invasion"-style noises. 

Luckily Lois and I were able to read the messages on our phones and quickly realised that it was just about the risk of wildfires, but when we sat down to watch topically news round-up weekly show "The One Show" on BBC1, it was clear that the alarms were going on in the studio and presenters Alex Jones and Roman Kemp were totally mystified, although tried to carry on as if nothing was happening, which was probably the correct response, professionally - but your comments welcome!

flashback to Friday evening: the Government's emergency

alarm system suddenly jumping into action, surprising

The One Show's presenters, Alex Jones and Roman Kemp

What madness, wasn't it !!!!!

And apparently people living in the border areas between England and Wales got the warning message in both English and Welsh, some only getting the Welsh version, due to a technical 'snafu' - presumably causing worry, amongst non-Welsh speakers, that the much-feared "Welsh take-over of England" (!) had begun.

But what a crazy country we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Saturday August 15th 2025 "Dogs - they seem to 'dog' us, don't they (no pun intended!!!!)"

Yes, Friends, have YOU got a dog in YOUR life? Some days it seems like they're taking over, doesn't it, seemingly, and I humbly submit page 94 of today's Onion News in my plea - just 3 "doggy" stories on one page alone, would you believe!

And these headlines bring a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in semi-herbaceous Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Our daughter Alison, who lives 10 miles away from us, just over the county line in Churt, Surrey, with husband Edward and their 3 teenage kids Josie, Rosalind and Isaac, has asked us to go and "entertain" their dogs this afternoon, while the family are all away in London, celebrating Alison's 51st birthday by watching a Spurs game, which is nice! 

And Lois and I are more than happy to help out, no doubt about that - and we've practised a few simple "doggy jokes" and some comedic "doggy songs" to play on the family's piano, which should keep their dogs - Sika and Bjorn - amused, not to mention the family's cats Dumbledore and Otto, plus their tank of tropical fish, all of whom have the most infectious sense of humour, would you believe!

It'll be our second visit to Churt today, because before all the football "shenanigans" begins this afternoon, there's the little matter of Ali's birthday "Colin The Caterpillar Cake", and birthday presents and cards to hand over at 10:30 am this morning.

Our little Ali - 51 years of age! And Lois and I always say that you know you're old, when your 'children' are getting to be middle aged! Yikes!!!

It seems like only yesterday that our 'little' Alison was born - awwwww!!!!

flashback to 1975, and Lois showing the first sign of her 'bump',

in the tiny back yard of our first ever house, in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire,

the bump that was to become our first child, Alison - awww!!!! ....

.... and, a few months later, the first picture of our first child, Alison - awwwww!!!!

(above) 1976, Alison's first summer holiday, in Somerset, and (below) 1980 - first bike!

1985 - Alison, with neighbour kid Derek, on our last July 4th before returning to the UK

Happy days!!!

Awwww!!!! And it seems like only yesterday !!!!!

But back to today! And here are some pictures of us, this Saturday afternoon, entertaining the family's dogs (and cats and tropical fish) (!), in the family's absence - see pictures below. 

When it's time for us to go, veteran cat Dumbledore doesn't seem to want us to leave, and stages a protest by settling himself down under our car in the front yard. Lois has to coax him out, so that we can drive back home to bed in Liphook, for a much-delayed "statutory nap-time".

Poor Dumbledore!!!!

(above) Lois kicking balls for our daughter Alison and family's 2 dogs

Sika and Bjorn, in the parched back garden of their home in Churt, Surrey,

and (below left) us enjoying another cup of tea and piece of cake,

with (below, right) family cat Dumbledore, staging a protest under our car (!)

Meanwhile Alison and family are watching Spurs beat German club Hoffenheim 3-0, largely thanks to the efforts of their teenage signing Mike 'Mikey' Moore, the club's exciting no.47 shirt (!).

our daughter Alison, with husband Edward, and their 3 teenage kids

(left to right) Rosalind (18), Josie (19) and Isaac (16) at Spurs'

White Hart Lane stadium this afternoon, where they beat German club

Hoffenheim 3-0, with 2 goals from Mike 'Mikey' Moore (right)

Kudos, Mikey !!!!!

Overall, however, for Lois and me, it's a day haunted by memories of our dear daughter Alison, born in 1975 in a heatwave similar to this year's, plus memories of her childhood, her schooling, and sending her off eventually to university in Cardiff, where she was to meet her future husband Edward, so that's all good!

But for our entertainment tonight, however, we go even further back in time, 12,000 years back, to be vague (!), with the second programme in TV historian Bettany Hughes' latest series about the Dawn of Civilisation itself, would you believe!

Bettany's premise, in this fascinating two-part series, is that 'civilisation' didn't start with the development of agriculture, as was once thought. 

Further back, even hunter-gatherers had started to come together in cities,  a stage in humanity's progress which certainly wasn't the traditional image of the hunter-gatherer. And it happened first, as far as we know, in Karahantepe, in today's Turkey, 12000 years ago, so 7000 years before the Pyramids, in fact, soon after the end of the last Ice Age, which is totally mad!

One circular structure is 28m in diameter, or 92ft, which is completely crazy. 

And also found there, only last year, is the world's oldest known rectangular room, with good old 'four walls' as its key element (!).

Great idea, guys! Kudos !!!!

And as Bettany comments, that large circular building would have been capable of holding 400 people. It was the stage in human development when people were really learning to live together, and new concepts in social rules would have become necessary, perhaps for the first time ever.

Yes, they were still hunter-gatherers, and didn't know how to grow their food, but there's evidence that, in those crazy, far-off neolithic times, groups of hunters would lure sometimes large numbers of animals, particularly gazelles, into "traps" - funnelling into pre-constructed cul-de-sacs, so job done, food tonight for all the town!

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

[If you say so! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!