Monday February 2nd 2026 "Exciting news from America - everything's about to get bigger, although not necessarily better !!!"

Yes, friends, exciting news from America - everything's getting bigger, and about time too! And it's all thanks to one man - step forward, US president Donald J Trump!

Onion News has more..... 

The article doesn't say it, but I'm guessing that this means, also, that Donald Trump's self-assessed (without evidence!) IQ must now be in the region of one million, which makes him not just smart, but very very very very very smart, almost super-smart - what a guy!!!!

And reading the Onion story this morning here in semi-fecund Liphook, Hampshire, brings a bit of an exaggerated, "over-egged" smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois, to put it mildly! 

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

You may not have heard - I think the news is being held under wraps for security reason, but Donald is due to be making his first visit to Liphook's prestigious Millennium Centre this afternoon, and Lois and I have £3 tickets to hear him, a special £1 "old codger" reduction for U3A members, which is handy. And we're ready, willing and able to forgo our usual afternoon in bed for the occasion. Bring it on, we say !!!

with an estimated 200 other "old codgers", Lois and I wait in breathless 

anticipation for Donald Trump's entrance, with extra chairs having to

be set out by local U3A officials on the stage to accommodate the extra numbers

(left) the moment Donald comes into the auditorium, punching a triumphant fist 

into the air, to wild applause from the local "old codgers" present, and (right) at the podium

And after his presentation, many local old "crinklies" (mainly the women!) mob poor Donald at the volunteer-manned (or should I say "womanned"!) [No! - Ed] U3A tea-and-cake stand in the back right-hand corner of the stage, but I have to confess that Lois and I are "buzzing" too much, and we just want to get home as fast as possible to discuss some of Donald's more ground-breaking ideas in private!

We can remember a few of his suggestions - his promise to "make Liphook great again", and to build a wall on the county line to keep out what he calls "those nasty Haslemere [Surrey] people". He says, also, that if we fulfil our late Queen's private offer to him, and take him on as Prime Minister, or as King, even, that he will work to keep away the illegal immigrant "boat people", by stationing teams of doctor's receptionists at 10 yard intervals along the English Channel coast, "from Southampton to Dover".

Donald's plan to keep out the "boat people" - by stationing

thousands of doctor's receptionists along the coast at 10 yard 

intervals "from Southampton to Dover"

Sound too good to be true? Well you know the old rule - "if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is!". 

Because the Donald we're listening to today is only "Donald in quote marks", a.k.a local comedian and impersonator Tony Harris, when he's at home - which isn't often,  as he's in such constant demand at local pubs and clubs and from railway platform "flash mobs", to put it mildly! And just today, for one day only, Tony is being "Donald Trump, greatest president ever and humble recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize", as the adverts for today's talk say!

(left) the "keynote slide" for "Donald Trump"'s first ever speech in Liphook, Hampshire today,

and (right) one of local man Tony Harris's earlier "incarnations" as one of the UK's most

famous "tyrants", Henry VIII, pictured here with two of his VIII wives (!!!!!). 

Loving the beard, Tony haha! [Only VI  wives, Colin, shurely! - Ed]

the Facebook write-up today on the Grayshott Community board 

- see Lois and me (ringed) on the right near the gangway, towards the top

All in all, today, Monday, has been another incredibly busy day for Lois and me. 

Somehow - don't ask me how! - somehow we managed to squeeze in a morning walk over the mud-affected "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes Liphook United, as well as finding time to book our Valentine's Day lunch for 12 noon on the big day, at the nearby Deer's Hut pub, as recommended by Steve, our American brother-in-law, which proves that the joint's nearly worldwide reputation has certainly travelled well beyond Liphook UK !

(top, centre) Lois and I somehow squeeze in a morning walk over the 

"hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes Liphook United, into our busy

schedule, before booking our Valentine's Day lunch at the Deer's Hut

Busy busy busy!

20:00 And this evening, Lois and I, having spent the afternoon with a pillar of the Western World (a slightly creaky one in Tony Harris's re-imaginings (!)), find ourselves watching a pillar of the Eastern World. He may be a pillar, but he's a dangerous pillar, that's for sure!

Yes, step forward Vladimir Putin, supreme leader of the former Soviet Union, distinguished (?) member of Trump's "Peace Board", and one of the board's two indicted war criminals.

Lois and I didn't realise that most western news agencies have pulled almost all of their staff out of Russia now, because they find it almost impossible to do their job as journalists, seeking out news, asking questions, interviewing both politicians and ordinary Russians etc etc. 

And we feel incredibly sad for the BBC's harassed Moscow correspondent Steve Rosenberg, a genuine Russophile, who first moved to the Soviet Union in the 1980's to study the language, and returned later to teach English and become a journalist. 

And in the 1990's, when everybody in the West thought that Russia was at last turning into a "normal" country, Steve was even, as a fluent Russian speaker, invited to take part in a comedy show, "The White Parrot Club", on Russian state television. 

Rosenberg playing "Daisy Daisy" on the piano in a scene 

from the Russian TV comedy show The White Parrot Club

Not any more! Rosenberg, we're also surprised to hear, is very much a public figure in Russia, recognised by ordinary Russians wherever he goes, who constantly ask if they can take "selfies" with him. And all this attention is simply because he's been pilloried so much by the government news media, who appear to be singling him out for their vituperation, demonising him and calling him an enemy of the country etc etc. 

On this political show on state media, the host asks why the BBC, and Steve "Rottenberg" [sic], haven't yet been kicked out of the country.

Surprisingly, Rosenberg remains optimistic however, and he's absolutely determined not to leave Russia unless forced to do so. He says that there have been many swings and roundabouts in the recent history of modern Russia, and who's to say there won't be a change for the better, just around the corner. And his daily interactions with ordinary Russians are overwhelmingly positive, he says, something which gives him hope.

21:00 Before Lois and I go to bed, however, we want to forget about all those crazy foreign countries (!), and concentrate on that old ruined farmhouse in the lovely northern English county of Yorkshire, the farmhouse which Amanda, Clive and their 9 kids are currently "doing up".

Amanda has been looking into the history of previous owners of their farm, in particular Anthony Clarkson, who was living there in the early 1800's. Today, she and some of the kids are looking at the records of farmer Anthony's marriage to his former maid, Mary Alderson, back in 1818. Anthony was literate and signed his name on the register, but Mary couldn't write and so simply signed it with a cross.

In his diary entry for his wedding day, back in 1818, Anthony wrote that, after the ceremony at the chapel, he and Mary "went off home, called at Mary Knowles, got some drink, and spent the remainder of the day with some dances. Got tea, and drank and danced till bedtime. Molly and I went to bed. The day was wet in the morning, but better afterwards".

Later, Amanda reflects on the lucky find of Anthony's old diary and on the insights it's given her into his world, and insights into Anthony and Mary's very beginning of their married life together, full of hopes and plans, and aspirations.

Fascinating stuff, isn't it !!!

[That's enough TV ! - Ed]

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!

Sunday February 1st 2026 "Ever been tongue-tied on your first date with somebody new? Then take a tip from Onion News!!!!"

Yes Friends, do YOU ever get tongue-tied on your first date with somebody new? Onion News has some ideas today on some things you can include, so read this game-changing advice, not forgetting to take notes, so get your junior notebooks out - do it now !!!!!

And you have to admit that that approach does set the right "tone" for what could be a promising relationship, right off the bat, doesn't it! And reading the story this morning here in semi-pastoral Liphook, Hampshire, sets a slightly ironic smile flying to the lips of me and my wife Lois, to put it mildly!

 

my wife Lois and me - some recent pictures

"Why the ironic smile, Colin?", I hear you cry! Well, you've probably guessed the answer as soon as the question left YOUR lips, I'm guessing!

Yes, Lois and I are both 79, pushing 80, would you believe! And the question of what our own "famous last words" should be, is bound to come up soon, especially since, on our return yesterday from an overnight break on the English Channel near Emsworth, Hampshire, we find that our friendly Royal Mail postman has, in our absence, "plopped" this week's copy of Lois's news digest magazine "The Week" through our letterbox, which has a few helpful tips.

Yes, as luck would have it, this week's magazine is brimming with ideas for "famous last words" that its readers could perhaps choose for themselves, and here's "Colin's pick of the bunch". Yes, I'm going to "go" with crazy Sir Edmund Beckett, the first Baron of Grimthorpe's choice.

Grimthorpe simply left his wife this urgent dying note: "We are low on marmalade" - and that's what you call genius! 

The phrase won't quite work for me, as it stands, however, because Lois has just this week made me a stack of seven 1 lb jars of her 2026 home-made marmalade, with another batch on the horizon for this week, so going by the anxious note on our calendar, for this week, at least, I'm going to have to "go" (!) with "we are low on mint sauce and [low-fat spread] Bertorelli", which is a bit more long-winded, but never mind, it does the job!

(above) Lois showcasing some of her classic home-made marmalade batches through the 

decades, and (below) news of Baron Grimthorpe's dying note to his wife,

"We are low on marmalade", plus the reason for novelist Julian Barnes' summary

disapproval of death - "I don't think it's got anything in it for me"....what madness!!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

Forgive us, if you will, but Lois and I are both feeling pretty tired today. We came back just yesterday from that exhausting one-night-away on the English Channel coast, and we're both feeling a bit light-headed this morning as we sit in the village hall outside Petersfield, where Lois's church holds its Sunday Morning Meetings.

Luckily, however, Lois has her wits about her this morning, because, always anxious to be "pulling her weight", bless her, she's volunteered to go on a "sisters' rota" for preparing the "emblems" - the bread and the wine. She'll be doing it 4 or 5 times a year, she thinks, so we turn up for the meeting about half an hour earlier than usual today, so Lois can get a demonstration from fellow-church member Ann. Since COVID, the wine is served in individual plastic mini-cups, and when it's Lois's turn to do it, she'll have to bring the used cups back home with her for a thorough wash, and then take them back in with her the following Sunday etc. 

Sounds complicated, doesn't it, to put it mildly! But I'm confident that Lois will cope - she's much more practical-minded than me. Not that that's anything that's very difficult to achieve haha!

Fortunately, the UK as a whole, has always had more than enough practical-minded people to be getting on with - witness perhaps our greatest gift to the world: our railways, as we learn tonight from the second and final part of the fascinating Channel 4 series.

Yes, the new railways - what a game changer, enabling ordinary Brits to go to work in comfort, or visit relatives, or go to the seaside for their summer holidays.

The criss-crossing of the country by a massive network of railways also amounted to a complete social revolution, and, for example, the new railway compartments were one of the few places where Victorians were forced to get up-close and personal with strangers, whether they wanted to or not!

This new social experience for Victorians provided perfect material for Victorian artists, who loved to tell a compelling story.

In 1855, Abraham Solomon painted this picture of a scene in a railway compartment which he called: "First Class: The Meeting [and at first meeting loved]". 

What we see is a group of three figures: (left) a father who's slumped in the corner fast asleep, and (centre) his daughter, who's deep in conversation with a young man, who's clearly paying her a lot of attention. To Victorians, however, such a scene would have been deeply shocking.

The picture came in for a lot of criticism at the time, and Solomon was forced to come up with a new version, in which the young woman's old dad is awake and sitting between the two young would-be lovers:

Poor young lovers!!!!!

By the end of the 19th century, however, things had loosened up a lot and the opportunity for "taking liberties" when a train entered a tunnel, for example, had become one of the most popular stock comic scenes in the British cinema of the time, as in this 1899 "short".

Yes, pretty soon they get to know each other very well, because the train goes into a tunnel and everything goes black!

What madness!!!

And what a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off times!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!