Sunday February 8th 2026 "Friends, are YOU older-than-you'd-like and 'gagging' for more stimulation? Well, look no further!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU perhaps older than you'd like, and, at the same time, 'gagging' for more stimulation in your free time? Well, look no further than your copy of today's local Onion News for East Hampshire!!!!

"Middle-aged at heart" - that almost perfectly describes me and my wife Lois "to a tee", although personally I'm being a bit more cautious for a while, preferring the label "elderly-to-middle-aged-at-heart", which is the phrase I still prefer to use, whenever applying for jobs at our local branch of Gregg's Bakeries, for example, here in leafy, semi-luscious Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly!

me and my wife Lois - some recent pictures

Nevertheless, Romansky's advice - see Onion story above for details! - is certainly inspirational reading for us. To be honest, we can't really be bothered to apply for too many jobs, or for any jobs at all, if we're frank!

Although currently "resting" between jobs ourselves, since we both retired 20 years ago, you can't say we don't know our limits!!!! 

[When are you two noggins NOT resting, Colin! - Ed]. 

Nevertheless the Onion story makes us even more determined to seek some younger company today, to lower our mental age a bit, and "get down with the kids" in a way that only we know how!

Lois and me, showing our lighter side (!)

Starting as we mean to go on, Lois and I revel today in our usual Sunday morning "catch-up" whatsapp call to our dear daughter Sarah and our dear twin-granddaughters Lily and Jessica 9000 miles away in Perth, Australia, where the twins have just finished their first week at "big school", a private Anglican school in the city's northern suburbs. 

(above) Lois and me beginning our regular Sunday morning "catch-up" call

with Perth, Australia, and (below) the twins in their new uniforms, and their new "big school"

It's been a big week in those two 12-year-olds' lives, that's for sure. And they're already studying things that Lois and I were never taught at our old schools back in the 1950's! Things like 'civics' (?) and 'food science and technology', for example, although Lois suspects that 'food science and technology' is just a fancy label for 'cooking', would you believe! 

What madness!!!!

students at our twin granddaughters' new school studying

"food science and technology", whatever that is, when it's at home!!!

This term's sport will be cricket, they tell us - and it's still uncomfortably hot in Perth, apparently, and "everybody's just longing for March", when things will start to cool off a bit. 

What a crazy planet we live on  !!!!

14:00 And later on today, Lois and I have the strange experience of not sitting in an audience composed entirely of "old codgers", which makes a refreshing change! Our grandson Isaac is playing not one but two roles in the local "performing arts" group's production of "Legally Blonde the Musical" in a theatre in nearby Haslemere, just over the county line in Surrey.

flashback to September: Lois and I wait outside Haslemere Hall

to pick up our grandson Isaac after his first rehearsal of "Legally Blonde"

The story is all about a seemingly 'ditsy' blonde manicurist, Elle, whose boy-friend dumps her to go to Boston and study law at the prestigious Harvard Law School. Elle gets her revenge on him by applying to go there herself, and, unexpectedly perhaps, she finds herself getting accepted. Something like that, anyway!

(top left) us, for once sitting in an audience not entirely made up of "old codgers" (!),

watching our grandson Isaac (below), seen here in two scenes of the musical

Isaac has a part as a fellow Harvard Law School new entrant, Aaron Schultz, where he gets to sing a song - see picture above, bottom right! How cool is that!!!!

He also has a second part in the musical, as a "hunky" UPS delivery guy, who catches a manicurist's eye when he comes to deliver a package to her in Elle's nail-bar. You'll remember this scene from the film version, I'm sure!

Knowing that our Isaac is also playing the new UPS guy, Lois and I, sitting in the audience this afternoon, are a bit nervous about this scene coming up. And that's because in the film version, Elle tries to get the "hunky" new UPS guy to look at her legs by executing a clumsy "bend-and-snap" manoeuvre when he approaches her with a package, and he ends up with a broken nose. 

A "bend-and-snap" manoeuvre is when a woman pretends to drop something on the floor, and bends down to pick it up, so he gets a good look at her legs. Then the guy tries to help her, and she straightens herself up right in front of the him, so that, ideally, so they finish up face to face. 

In the film, however, the manicurist "muffs" the manoeuvre: the UPS guy gets too close, and the manicurist breaks his nose. Yikes! Poor Isaac - we hope he's ready for that scene !!!!

And for this afternoon's performance, Lois has brought along a bunch of band-aids in her handbag, in case they're needed, but fortunately the production's back-stage staff have thought ahead and provided Isaac with a free one, so when Isaac appears in his next scene, he's suitable "all bandaged up", which is a relief! And by the time the show's closing number comes up, the bandage has clearly been taken off, so it must have been just a surface wound, so no worries there! 

Lois and me, before the performance begins - Lois has

a bunch of band-aids in her handbag, fortunately not needed !!!!

[It's only a story, remember, Colin! - Ed]

Well, Lois and I both had a jolly good laugh afterwards, while secretly pleased that Isaac's face hasn't been "damaged for life", at any rate, which is nice (!).

But there's a more serious question here too, isn't there. 

Isaac was obviously assigned the part of the "hunky" new UPS guy for a reason - he must be being perceived as being at least a bit "hunky" himself. Have you thought of that?! And it's a slightly weird experience this afternoon for Lois and me to hear the manicurists in the show referring to "our Isaac" as "walking porn" (!). What madness, isn't it !!!

But where did Isaac inherit his "hunkiness" from? For myself, I'm pretty clear that it must be me, but Lois isn't so sure! Your views welcome, however - postcards only !!!!!

flashback to the 1960's: me as a sixth-former "oozing hunk", (left) as I

get ready to go to school in the morning, and (right) sitting in front of the "telly"

in the afternoon, after school, in a rocking-chair, waiting for programmes to begin

I wonder.....!

And I hereby promise to tabulate all feedback received and to give you a "digest" in a later blog-post, so watch this space!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just to to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Saturday February 7th 2026 "Men, honestly! 'Can't fold a shirt for toffee', as we used to say!"

Yes, Friends, is there a man in YOUR circle who has trouble folding his shirts? There are plenty of these 'bozos' around, aren't there, including Yours Truly, if I'm honest!

And 'watching a man fold a shirt' is said to be one of the oldest entertainments in the world, and it's still happening, would you believe, that is, if you can trust this morning's local Onion News for East Hampshire! 

Poor guy !!!!!

It's a pretty general failing with us men, isn't, but with one honourable exception. Step forward Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory sitcom, who famously was able to even show women, if you please, exactly how it's done!

a typical episode of the Big Bang Theory sitcom: Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons)

shows housemate Penny (Kaley Cuoco) how you fold a shirt

Kudos, Sheldon!

However, reading that Onion News "shocker" today brings a knowing grin to the faces of my wife Lois and me, here at our lovely home in leafy, semi-suburban Liphook, Hampshire, I have to say! 

my wife Lois and me - recent pictures

The reason for that knowing grin on our faces? Well, we're bound for an outing this morning to nearby shopping-hub Petersfield,  where we're sure to end up finding ourselves in one of the town's many clothing stores taking clothes off hangers and out of piles on counters, and then, later, putting them back (!), and finally buying something or other for Lois - a 'reduced' skirt perhaps -  to put it mildly!  

I can't blame Lois for seizing the opportunity - Petersfield's clothes shops are pretty seductive, with their subdued lighting and their well-turned-out, menopausal female servers. 

a typical Edinburgh Wool Mill outlet - there's a 

handy branch in Petersfield, Hampshire, which is nice!

And it's a good chance, admittedly, for Lois to stock up, whenever we're in Petersfield, because, needless to say, tiny, semi-rural Liphook doesn't have a single clothes shop, unless you count the minimal stocks in a small corner of Liphook's Sainsbury's supermarket, or ordering from a catalogue in the store's miniscule 'Argos concession'. 

What madness, isn't it!

Lois this morning, in nearby Petersfield's bustling Edinburgh Wool Shop,

(left) choosing a jumper, and (right) trying on an attractive, reduced skirt 

(only £10, which is crazy!) in one of the store's poorly-lit fitting-rooms

Our main worry this morning however, is not to forget, amid all this skirt-buying madness (!), the real reason why we're in Petersfield today - to take along the home-made Nutella cake that Lois baked yesterday to her church's "drop-in centre", or "pop-in centre" as it's called. It's the first Saturday of the month, and the church is holding its usual coffee-and-cake morning: these sessions advertise the church's presence in the town, as well as raising money for third-world charities.

Lois's church's drop-in centre in Petersfield, 

or "pop-in centre" as it's dubbed, which is nice!

We have to get there early before the "pop-in centre" opens for business, so that Lois can deliver her cake and cut it into slices etc before the "punters" "pop in" later. It's nice and quiet when we arrive, and we get a chance to sit with a coffee and a cheese scone in a bit of peace, for once! And it's cheese scones on our plates, not Nutella cake, because of Lois's current dietary restrictions: and Yours Truly is "going along for the low-sugar ride", to help lose some of the pounds I put on over Christmas: oh dear!!!!

So see if YOU can guess who that poor little old man in the 30-year-plus old cloth cap is, in the third of these three following revealing photos!!!! No prizes offered haha!!!!!

us this morning, before opening time, at the drop-in centre organised

by Lois's church in bustling Petersfield, Hampshire, delivering Lois's home-made

Nutella cake while restricting ourselves to some low-fat cheese scones - what madness!!!!

Poor little old man haha !!!!!

[You old fraud, Colin. Isn't that a "chocolate crunch" on your plate there? - Ed]

And I really don't know how old my cloth cap is. 'Thirty years' is almost certainly an underestimate. I certainly used to wear it to work, although I always took it off once I got inside the building. And come March 2026, Lois and I will have been retired for exactly 20 years, so that cap is certainly older than that!!!!

What madness, isn't it !!!!!!

21:00 We go to bed on Alice Roberts' latest (!!!!) archaeological travelogue series, this one being about the Roman Empire, starting in Pompeii. Yes, I know, Alice has got at least 3 series going on concurrently at the moment, this one on Channel 4, as well as her "Holy Grail" series on Sky, and her "Digging for Britain" series on BBC2.

All these Alice-style programmes, are a blessing for Lois and me, however, because we don't much care for sports (see Radio Times above!), or for game-shows, so if you're like us, you're pretty much "stuffed" for TV choices most of the time. But what a crazy world we live in!!!

We notice that, when Alice is walking through towns in the Middle East or in Mediterranean countries, she seems to be able to slip around unrecognised, whereas her TV archaeology rival Bettany Hughes is constantly being greeted with smiles and requests for selfies etc. 

Lois and I have the theory that people in those countries like their women big and busty, like Bettany, whereas Alice cultivates the slim, waif-ish, dyed-hair, "biker-chick" image, which doesn't have the same appeal over there. But your views welcome!

rival archaeological travelogue series presenters, and their polar opposite styles:

(left) Alice with her waif-like biker-chick image, and (right) Bettany

I wonder.....!

But "Not another programme about Pompeii, Colin!", I hear you cry! But Lois and I think that Alice is amazing at picking up on some of the extraordinary details that are often overlooked by other presenters. Like, for example, the fact that many of the skeletons and casts of people found in the act of running from the 79AD eruption of nearby volcano Mt. Vesuvius, were actually carrying their house keys on them, no doubt expecting to return home later after the "fuss" was over. Heart-breaking isn't it.

And the incredible thing about Pompeii is that, over 400 years since the ruined town was first discovered (in 1594), Pompeii was such a large city in Roman times that a whole 54 acres of it (22 hectares) still hasn't been dug up and examined.

Recently work began on a totally new area, containing a massive 750-acre mansion and grounds belonging to an as yet unidentified wealthy individual, as Alice discovers in this sequence:

The mansion contained a huge banqueting hall  - Donald Trump, eat your heart out! And this banqueting hall was adorned with frescoes depicting the story of a wealthy woman. Although wealthy and "respectable", the woman in the frescoes has been tempted into joining a feminist cult - the so-called 'maenad women', devoted to Dionysus (Bacchus), the god of wine and revelry, who indulged in so-called 'Bacchanalian' orgies.

The Roman Empire was alive with diverse cults and religions at this time, and the cult of Dionysus was just one, attracting women in particular, called maenads, mythologised women to be seen everywhere in these newly-discovered frescoes.

Fascinating stuff, isn't it!

But what a crazy world they lived in, back in those mad, far-off days !!!!!

Will this do?

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!

Friday February 6th 2026 "There ARE new worlds to discover! Come back, Columbus, all is forgiven haha!!!"

Yes, Friends, it's all over today's news! The age of Columbus is not dead! And nor is his spirit, according to a heart-warming story in this morning's Onion News!

Kudos Ryan, for going "where no man has gone before" !!!

And kudos, too, for accepting mysterious stranger Kevin's offer of leftover food and cake! Cake is the great leveller, isn't it, and always seems to draw people together, not drive them apart, which is nice!

typically diverse co-workers "bonding" over a birthday cake, 

which is nice!

Did Christopher Columbus offer a slice of cake - a "sponge genoise" maybe (?) - to those first native Americans that he encountered back in 1492, after he famously "sailed the ocean blue? 

It's perhaps symbolic that Columbus is suddenly back in favour again, with Donald Trump arranging for Columbus' statue, thrown into Baltimore Harbour by racial justice protestors back in 2020, to be scrubbed down and re-erected in the grounds of the White House, according to the Washington Post.

And, closer to home, the remains of English explorer Edward Colston, whose statue was thrown into Bristol Harbour also in 2020,  as part of a "Black Lives Matter" protest, could be dug up and perhaps re-interred somewhere more suitable (?) GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE!!!, as part of a "healing process" in a church and churchyard currently being refurbished, according to an email from Steve, our American brother-in-law.

flashback to yesterday's headlines in the Guardian newspaper

As part of the Black Lives Matter campaign, recall that Bristol's leading theatre The Colston Hall, was renamed "The Bristol Beacon", and that the schools that my dear brother and sister 'Our Steve' and Kathy attended, back in the 1960's - Colstons Primary School and also, for Kathy, Colstons Girls' School, were similarly re-branded. 

It's nice to know that Bristol's diverse local communities are being fully consulted on the sensitive issue of the exhumation, and are now also re-bonding, perhaps over a slice of cake, as always the "great leveller" (see Onion story above !!!!). As far as I know, unlike Columbus's "sponge genoise", there is no specific cake named after Bristol, although "Bath buns" come pretty close. Cheers !!!

And reading all these cake-related news stories this morning, here in rural, semi-forgotten Liphook, Hampshire, brings a particularly satisfied smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois.

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Today is most definitely "Cake Day" for us too, this Friday, because Lois has been asked by her church to produce a cake for the church's monthly drop-in coffee morning, to be held, as usual, in the town centre of nearby Petersfield Hampshire, specifically to attract local people to try visiting their church on a Sunday.

(left) the cake Lois makes today for her church's "drop in coffee morning", and (right)

Lois and me sampling a cake or two at a recent drop-in session

So it's very much "Cake Day" for us - and it takes up much of the morning. We can't go out anywhere anyway, with Liphook's "monsoon season", after yesterday's downpours,  still in full spate outside - no surprise there!!!!

I usually describe this kind of weather as "dismal", but until today I never knew where the word "dismal" originally came  from. Luckily, with good timing (!), Susie Dent, of the Radio Times' "Dictionary Corner", steps up to fill in some of the blanks in my mind on this very important question (!).

The word "dismal" actually comes from the Latin "dies mali" meaning "bad days", and as a response to this idea, the Church designated two days each month on the calendar as "dies mali", when doing anything challenging was not officially advised. 

However, poor old medieval writer Geoffrey Chaucer got it wrong, bless him. He thought that the word 'dismal'  came from the French "dix mals" (English: ten evils), as a "nod" to the biblical "ten plagues of Egypt". What madness, wasn't it !!!!

What a crazy language we speak !!!!

However, with today's absolutely "dismal" weather, and Lois busy in the kitchen today making her cake, we can't do any of the usual things we do together. So the bad weather today is a good opportunity for me also, to "get ahead of the curve", as regards next week's online meeting of the U3A group, the Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers Group, which Lois and I "lead", for our sins!!! 

Our group is currently reading Danish murder mystery "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss), by Danish crime-writer Anna Grue, and it's my job to produce the fortnightly "vocab lists" for our group's members.

(left)  Lois and me trying to control another rowdy online meeting of our local 

"Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, and (right) the Danish murder mystery that

our group is currently reading, "Judaskysset" (the Judas Kiss), by Anna Grue (centre)

Our group meetings are only fortnightly, and a lot of fun, but they also involve me in a ton of work, to put it mildly! Today, by preparing in advance all the vocab lists we'll need at next Thursday's meeting, as I say, I can at least "get ahead of the curve", but I'm slowed down by a mysterious "curvaceous" character (no pun intended!!!!), who pops up in the story, being interviewed by police detective Flemming Torp. 

Danish detective Flemming Torp (Andre Babikian) in the TV and film version

ot Anna Grue's Danish murder mystery Judaskysset (The Judas Kiss)

The mysterious curvy woman, who's just popped up in the story, is called Kamma Mortizen, and she's obviously been in the story earlier, but neither Lois and I can remember who she is - what madness, isn't it!!!! 

In the chapter that our group is reading this week, this Kamma, who's being interviewed by Danish detectives, has apparently concealed her voluptuous curves [Danish: yppige kurver] under a crochet'ed poncho with long fringes, which must have been disappointing for Flemming, the detective who's interviewing her. Old Flemming likes his women "curvy", to put it mildly!

extract from our Danish murder mystery Judaskysset (The Judas Kiss)

But who is Kamma? Your help needed, if you've read the book! Postcards only of course haha!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!