Tuesday, 10 March 2026

Monday March 9th 2026 "Nothing's more charming than an Italian village wedding, do YOU want one haha?!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU want an Italian village wedding - you can stage them anywhere, even in the UK if you just open your wallet and import a few essentials, like a roasted pig and a donkey cart etc etc - although now, in the US, there's just a small problem of a 40% tariff slapped on them by you-know-who - no names no packdrill haha!

However, probably the best place in the world to have an Italian village wedding is in an Italian village - shoot me down in flames if I'm being too much of a 'purist' here haha!!!

[That's enough haha's! - Ed]

Even when the wedding's in Italy, nevertheless, there are sometimes problems, which is a pity. This story was all over Onion News this morning - you must have seen it!!!

Poor Lombardo !!!! 

But marrying that the Pavesi widow isn't really an answer is it!!! Signora Pavesi has "buried" quite a few husbands already, if we're to believe the rumours!!!!

The Onion story, however, brings a bit of an comfortable smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, here in rural, semi-detached Liphook, Hampshire, to put it mildly! 

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

We're due to be having, not an Italian wedding but just an Italian lunch at Adriano's on Wednesday this week, not in Italy ("no time for the travel", would you believe!!!), but over in nearby Beacon Hill, Surrey, where, admittedly roasted pigs and donkey-carts are a bit "thin on the ground", let's say! 

Adriano's, the atmospheric Italian restaurant in nearby Beacon Hill,
conveniently situated next to Domino's Pizzas, which is a bit unfortunate!!!

The reason for this "bold new lunch move" (!) of ours is that, at 12 noon of Wednesday, we'll be trying out a new "foot woman" in the village, Janice, after our previous foot-woman, Zoe, closed her clinic last week.

Nothing says "You're old" like having to pay somebody to cut your toe-nails for you, does it! And until we try Janice we don't know whether or not she's going to be gentle or rough with us, so a slap-up Italian lunch at Adriano's after the appointment will maybe be just what the doctor ordered - that's what we're hoping. Call us cock-eyed optimists if you like haha!!!!

Janice, our new "foot-woman" - we'll be trying Janice out for the first time
this Wednesday. Will she be gentle with us - watch this space haha!!!!

As newcomers to this area, Lois and I have only been to Adriano's Italian Restaurant once before, for Lois's 79th birthday in June last year, but when we mentioned to the waitress that it was Lois's birthday, they kindly "rustled up" a small birthday cake for her, which was a nice touch to finish off with before we high-tailed it back home for our usual "nap" (!).

flashback to June 2025: we lunch at Adriano's for the first time
for Lois's 79th birthday, would you believe - hence the little "cake" haha!!!!

"But how come you and Lois look so young and fit, Colin?", I hear you cry!

Well, seeing as how you're asking, we do one or two "physical jerks", if we're "in the mood" (!), that is! And we also try to do a 4000-step walk every day, weather permitting - and in Liphook it doesn't "permit" as often as we'd like, to put it mildly!

Today is no exception, but there's also an extra treat for us on our mist-and-fog-affected walk this morning, which is taking us over the "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes, Liphook United. 

Liphook United, "the lads in blue", seen here in happier times
with their charismatic ashen-faced flat-capped manager, Ron Knee (59) 

And as it's a Monday, it's nice to linger awhile in the car-park to watch the local young housewives "getting down and dirty" there on their exercise mats - always a joy to witness other people having to "sweat it out" for once, isn't it haha!

If you want "chapter and verse", here's the relevant page from our daily 'fitness diary'...

flashback to this morning: on our daily walk we stop to cheer on 
the town's sweaty young women going through their paces in the car-park!

Honestly, Lois and I have so much to fit into our day again today, which is mad, you would not believe!

14:00 So it's with great relief that we get back into bed this afternoon for "statutory nap-time", no doubt about that! And today is a special day for "nappers", according to my Facebook feed, which is nice, because it means that, for once, Lois and I are fully "on trend" - whatever that means!!!


17:00 We struggle out of bed for a cup of tea and one of Lois's delicious home-made peppermint butter cookies, and then manage a quick "tea" before it's time to get back on the sofa again for this evening's ration of "telly" - busy busy busy!!!!!

And there's a special treat for us tonight - the last programme in mathematician Hannah Fry's new series "AI Confidential" on BBC2, which we've been looking forward to, ever since last Monday. Well, it's been a quieter week than average haha!!!!!

[You lazy so-and-so's, Colin! - Ed]


Perhaps due to our super-healthy life-style [??? - Ed], Lois and I have mostly avoided major hospital treatment for anything life-threatening so far, but this is maybe a good programme to shock Lois and me out of our complacency, to put it mildly!

In tonight's programme we hear that, if you're ill over in the States, but being nursed back to health in one of the care facilities run by health insurance companies, it may be that it's not a doctor, but a algorithm in a computer program, that decides when you're fit enough to be discharged. 

So you may get a nasty shock one morning when you wake up in your hospital bed, to find that the hospital computer has decided that it's time for you to be politely "shown the door". Especially if the algorithm has been designed by programmers with, as its top objective, "minimising the health insurance company's costs", which has been an actual criterion used in some algorithms. 

The problem was the subject of a recent US Senate inquiry.








In some states, apparently, like California for example, when it comes to patient discharge, a final decision by an actual human doctor is mandatory, but not in all states, it seems. 

And one of the dangers of the use of algorithms in medicine is that they're so complicated that it's hard for investigators to "unpack" them, and find out exactly what criteria are being used. You can ask a human doctor why he came to a decision, but you can't ask an algorithm in quite the same way.

This problem was highlighted in 2019 by a researcher called Ziad Obermayer, who also gave evidence to the Senate inquiry. Obermayer looked at an AI algorithm being used in hospitals to identify patients most in need of care, in order to offer them extra help under a special scheme - but he discovered that there was something odd about the patients that the algorithm was selecting for the extra care.



Why the bias towards extra care for white patients? Well, Obermayer couldn't see inside the algorithm, so he worked back from the results, and he found that the algorithm was using a short-cut, with unforeseen results...





The algorithm could see that white patients were having, on average, more expensive treatment than black patients were, so it assumed the white patients were "sicker" (!), so needed the most extra care and attention from the hospital. So, although it predicted the cost accurately, it had an unfortunate result, assigning, to black patients, less care than they were getting already:




Yikes!!!! 

So, the lesson is, beware of algorithms - they may give you results based on who-knows-what!

And that really is madness, isn't it!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Monday, 9 March 2026

Sunday March 8th 2026 "Friends, are YOU tall-to-tallish? Then watch out for men in white coats bearing huge bags haha!"

Yes, Friends, are YOU "tall"? Then keep an eye out for anybody in a white coat, particularly if he's carrying, like, a massive mosquito net, or just a big bag, even!!!

However, the "vibes" this morning for tall people the world over, I sense, are "vibrating" (!) much more calmly today, after the glorious victory of "height martyr" Duane Panovich in the US courts, as reported in Onion News this morning - see page 94!


Poor Panovich - how he suffered! And when my wife Lois and I read his story, here in rural, semi-skimmed Liphook, Hampshire today, it gives us a shudder of relief, to put it mildly, and particularly in my case (!). 

Why the relief? Well, we've invited our daughter Alison to "tea" tonight, plus husband Edward, and two of their three offspring, Rosalind (17) and local up-and-coming pop vocalist, Isaac (15). 

(left) our daughter Alison, plus husband Edward and teenage offspring Rosalind (17)
and Isaac (15), and (right) Isaac with his boy-girl-band New Horizon, now making waves locally

The family are (justly) famous locally, as a family of "shorties" - Edward comes from a long line of shorties. However, thanks to the input of genes from Yours Truly - I'm not a "human giraffe" exactly, but have traditionally always given my height as 5ft 10.5in (1.8m) - there's at least some hope for the future in both Rosalind and Isaac's case, which is a comfort!

Although Isaac's band New Horizon, disappointingly didn't win last night's Battle of the Bands contest at nearby Shottermill Working Men's Club, they are today the first act to be signed up for the Chiddstock Pop Festival this summer at local village Chiddingfold (Surrey), modelled on the famous, but sadly less successful Woodstock Festival in the States, so watch this space!


Let's just hope that Isaac's band "towers" over the competition this summer - no pun intended!!! 

[Why did you say it then! - Ed]

You can get some idea of Isaac's tallness from the photo of the family (see above) which I take today during their visit. I usually take pride in the fact that my genes have enabled Isaac to tower a bit over his parents, but today my pride is slightly dented by the realisation that I myself must have shrunk a couple of inches or so - what madness, isn't it! 

I thought it was only "really old people" who shrank, whereas I'm still a very lively 79-year-old, and, at least according to my wife Lois, "marvellous for my age".

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!

me at 79, approaching my 80th birthday later this month, but still,
according to reports, "marvellous for my age", which is nice to know!

Among other shock news that comes from Alison and family's visit today includes the fact that their eldest daughter Josie (19), who started a maths degree course at Durham last September has a new boyfriend, a fellow student up there - further details to follow, so watch this space! Also Rosalind (17) has just finished her mock A-Levels with top grades, and is pondering whether to accept an offer from Durham, or whether she'll accept the one from UCL London. Decisions, decisions !!!!

All in all, Lois and I revel in the family's visit this evening, and it perks us up no end. We were both feeling a bit tired earlier, after yet another busy day. And I suspect that, like typical giraffes - see Onion News infographic above (!), we had been looking a bit tired earlier on, and we've certainly been doing more than our fair share of grunting, to put it mildly!!!


This morning, I drive Lois to her church's Sunday Morning Meeting at nearby Petersfield, and there's also a lovely zoom today with our other daughter, Sarah, in Perth, Australia. We're tired when we come home, however, and, after a quick lunch, afternoon-in-bed time is severely rushed and curtailed (!). You see, we have to get up at 3pm, would you believe, to get ready for Alison and family's visit this evening, dusting, hoovering, cooking, laying the table for six, it never stops - what madness!!!

Busy busy busy! [You lazy so-and-sos, Colin! - Ed]

flashback to this morning: a zoom call with our other daughter Sarah, and
12-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, 9000 miles away in Perth, Australia

It's fascinating, if you have grandchildren, to speculate about what DNA is that Lois and I have bequeathed to them, as well as what we haven't (!). They recently started secondary school and are getting to know their new fellow-students. 

Lily is like us emotionally, but she's also into soccer (why ???? haha!), even qualifying for the school team, whereas Jessie is less like us emotionally but, she loves reading, which we can identify with, so there you have it. The story of human genetics in a nutshell!

20:00 DNA doesn't work out well, on a personal basis, for comedian Bill Bailey, however, as we see in the first programme of his new series on today's Vietnam, 50 years after the withdrawal of the Americans from Saigon.


Bill has a Welsh mother, just like I do, so when he sees some typical Vietnamese round fishing boats along the coast of Vietnam, he remembers how his Welsh ancestors used to use round coracles to fish, goin back to the early Bronze Age. 

And Bill gets the urge to "channel" [no pun intended!!!!] his Celtic DNA, in view of his mother's ancestors famous' love of the coracle since ancient times, and steps aboard one - bad decision, Bill haha!!!


Bill's DNA certainly wasn't working for him, when he tried stepping in one of these round Vietnamese fishing boats, however, during filming of his new series.



Poor Bill !!!! And maybe consider losing a few pounds before your next trip haha!

Lois and I didn't know that the reason the Vietnamese fish in these little round boats, was originally to avoid paying tax on them during the country's French colonial period.








What a truly crazy world we live in !!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!!