Thursday, August 30 2018

08:00 Lois and I get up and go in the shower. I have breakfast, but Lois cannot - she has an appointment with our clinic's nurse at 9:30am  to take a blood test - part of her doctor's annual review of her medicine - daily statins for high cholesterol levels.

10:00 Lois comes back from the clinic and we relax with a cup of coffee on the couch. Afterwards we go out into the garden - Lois does a little weeding in the front yard, and I get going with cutting back some of our huge hedges in the backyard. I have postponed this task so that our many garden birds can raise their young in peace and quiet: I hope they are grateful for it, but I have not heard anything from them as yet - we'll have to see.

I start by cutting back the hedge near the house on the side we share with our neighbour, Bob. After an hour and a half I'm satisfied with my efforts, but unfortunately I have a pain in my shoulder for the rest of the day - damn! The problem is that I have to lift my arms up so high - it's not practical to use step-ladders because of the soft ground in front of the hedge - damn (again)!

My shoulders are one (two?) of my many weaknesses, no doubt about that. But I'm not alone in this one. I recall that last year I read an interesting news item (source: Onion News), all about poor Simon Bauera, Trump's caddy at Mar-a-Lago, who hit the headlines after an injury to one of his shoulders.

After struggling to haul more than 30 pounds of highly-classified documents over18 holes, Mar-a-Lago caddie Simon Bauers injured his shoulder. He had reportedly had to lug a complete set of President Donald Trump's national security briefings around the resort's entire golf course.

"I felt a sudden pain of pain while I reached the 12th hole with all President Trump's intelligence briefings slung over my right shoulder," said Bauers, adding that he was forced to lift the big unwieldy mixed bag of CIA and FBI briefings with his left arm for the rest of the day.

"Hopefully, it's not serious, but by the end of the day, I could hardly pick up a few folders of intelligence about North Korea's ballistic missile capabilities, let alone all the ISIS dossiers. Maybe I'll see a doctor tomorrow if the pain does not go away."

Bauer went on to say that at least he was pleased that Trump's set of briefings had become far lighter since intelligence officials decided to withhold sensitive information from the President to avoid White House leaks.

I sympathize with Bauers - people think shoulder injuries are not as important as, for example, back problems. We who have weak shoulders are a minority, no doubt about that, and as a minority there is a tendency to ignore us or laugh at us. But our time will come - mark my words!

12:30 Lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a huge afternoon nap. I get up at 3.30pm and we relax with a cup of tea on the couch.

18:30 We have dinner. We are waiting for a call from Alison, our elder daughter, who moved back to the family home in Haslemere a few weeks ago after almost 6 years of residence in Denmark. We have to wait for Alison to initiate the calls because she is always so busy looking after her 3 children, cooking, getting the children to bed, etc.

But unfortunately for the second night in a row, we do not hear anything - we really must give her a call tomorrow.

19:30 We spend the rest of the evening watching television. An old episode of Top of the Pops is on, from March 20, 1986.

When Lois and I saw this episode for the first time in March 1986, I was just in my last week ever as an idiot in his 30's. Lois was also 39.

Flashback to 1986: Lois

Me along with Alison, our oldest daughter (1986)

It must have been then or thereabouts that we bought our first VCR after moving back to England in 1985 after 3 years of residence in the US, because the first ever VHS recording we have in our collection is Samantha Fox singing "Touch Me" which, according to this episode, had just broken into the top 40. Good grief - how stupid we were then!

20:00 We continue to watch television, an interesting documentary about the 16th century and the two half-sisters and Tudor queens, Mary and Elizabeth.

Henry VIII was the father of both women, but Mary's mother was the Spanish Catholic, Catharine of Aragon, and Elizabeth's mother was Anne Boleyn, a Protestant and Henry VIII's second wife, after he kick-started the Reformation in England.

Mary, who became queen in 1547 after the death of Henry's Protestant son Edward, took the country briefly back into Europe's Catholic camp.

It's interesting to speculate about what would have been England's fate if Mary had been able to have children with her husband, Philip II of Spain. We might have become a Catholic country for centuries - who knows. Mary's children, if she had managed to get any would effectively have eliminated the protestant Elizabeth from the order of succession.

Mary suffered from bad health throughout her life, but thought she had become pregnant in 1557. However it turned out that it was only a so-called phantom pregnancy and she died in 1558 - the phantom pregnancy could have been ovarian cancer, historians nowadays think.

During her pregnancy Mary decreed that her husband Philip II would be England's regent in the event that she died. Philip II was at the time also king of Spain, which was then the world's only superpower.

Yikes, scary! But Mary's death saved England from the legendary long arm of the pope, thank God.

20:45 I take a little look at my smartphone. I have access to a whatsapp chat room for members of Lois's sect, which sometimes gives me interesting insights. A church member has posted an impressive list of the Hebrew prophet Elijah's achievements up on the chatroom.

The Prophet Elijah's achievements

It reminds me a bit of my days before I retired, when we all had to draw up a list of our achievements every year in preparation for the annual review interview with our managers.

I'm not sure if the Hebrew prophets got annual reviews with Jehovah, but I have no doubt that Elijah would not have had any trouble finding achievements that he could include on his list.

When I used to go out to work, and my annual interview was imminent, my mind always went blank about what I had achieved during the year. But I kept a pad and a pen on the nightstand when I went to bed: I used to think of "achievements" when I would wake up periodically and I would write them down on the pad. The following day at work, I used to write my report for the upcoming interview and exaggerate my achievements a little to make them seem more important than they actually were - happy days !!!

But I'm absolutely sure that I never had a year as remarkable as some of Elijah's years with their dazzling results - I have no doubts on that score! True greatness was something that eluded me, which was a bit of a shame for me.

21:00 We see 2 old episodes of the Big Bang Theory, from the latest (11th) season.

Lois and I want to be up to date with the status of the main characters before the sitcom's new season starts in the fall. We missed some episodes in the 11th season due to our absence in Australia during March / April.

Tonight E4 are airing again the 11th and 12th episodes in the season. The 11th episode we managed to see in Australia, but not the 12th. We were staying at our younger daughter Sarah's house in Perth, and it was hard to concentrate on television shows because Sarah's 5 year old twins liked to sit on our laps in the evenings and chat to us. Happy days!

22:00 We go to bed. I still feel pain in my shoulder because of this morning's gardening. Damn - just my luck!

I hope that the problem is just the result of using muscles I have not used for a long time. It is a little scary that we sometimes hear about acquaintances in our age group suffering from the so-called "frozen shoulder", which can last for many months.

But I have in any case a tendency to tense my shoulders, I do not have the faintest idea why - because of nerves probably.

Zzzzzzz !!!

Danish translation

08:00 Lois og jeg står op og går i bad. Jeg spiser morgenmad, men Lois må ikke – hun har aftale hos vores lægekliniks sygeplejerske kl 9:30 for at tage et blodprøve – en del af lægernes årlige gennemgang af hendes medicin – daglige statiner mod høj kolesteroltal.

10:00 Lois kommer tilbage fra kliniken og vi slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen. Bagefter går vi ud ind i haven – Lois luger lidt i forhaven, og jeg går i gang med at klippe tilbage nogle af vores enorme hække i baghaven. Jeg har udskudt denne opgave, så vores mange havefugle kan opdrage sine unger i fred og ro: jeg håber på, de er taknemmelige for det, men jeg har ikke hørt noget fra dem endnu – vi får se.

Jeg starter med at klippe tilbage hækken nær huset på siden, der er fælles med vores nabo, Bob. Efter en time og en halv er jeg tilfredsstillet med mine indsatser, men desværre har jeg ondt i skulderen resten af dagen – pokkers! Problemet er, at jeg er nødt til at løfte mine arme så højt op – det er ikke praktisk at bruge trinstiger på grund af den bløde jord foran hækken – pokkers (igen)!

Min skuldrene er en (to?) af mine svagheder, ingen tvivl om det. Men jeg er ikke alene i denne.  Jeg mindes om jeg sidste år læste en interessant nyhed (kilde: Onion News), der handlede om stakkels Simon Bauers, Trumps caddie på Mar-a-Lago, der ramte overskrifterne efter en skade til en af hans skuldre.

Efter at have kæmpet for at hale mere end 30 pund højt klassificerede dokumenter gennem 18 huller, Mar-a-Lago caddien Simon Bauers skadede skulderen mens han slæbte  rundt på et sæt af præsident Donald Trumps nationale sikkerhedsbriefinger omkring feriestedets golfbane .

"Jeg følte mig en pludselig plage af smerte, mens jeg gik mod det 12. hul med alle præsident Trumps efterretningsbriefinger slunget over min højre skulder", sagde Bauers og tilføjede, at han blev tvunget til at løfte det store, uhåndterlige blandet landhandel af CIA og FBI briefinger med den venstre arm for resten af ​​dagen.

"Forhåbentlig er det ikke noget seriøst, men i slutningen af ​​dagen kunne jeg næsten ikke hente nogle få chartekker af efterretninger om Nordkoreas ballistiske missil kapaciteter, endsige alle dossiererne om ISIS. Jeg må måske se en læge i morgen, hvis smerten ikke går væk. "

Bauers fortsatte med at sige, at han i hvert fald var glad for, at Trumps sæt af briefinger var blevet langt lettere siden efterretningsembedsmændene besluttede at tilbageholde følsomme oplysninger fra præsidenten for at undgå hvide hus lækager.

Jeg sympatiserer med Bauers – folk synes, at skulderskader er ikke så vigtige som, for eksempel, rygproblemer. Vi, der har svage skuldre er et mindretal, ingen tvivl om det, og som mindretal er der tendens til at ignorere os eller grine på os. Men vores tid vil komme – mærk mine ord!

12:30 Frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng og tager en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15:30 og vi slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.

18:30 Vi spiser aftensmad. Vi venter på et opkald fra Alison, vores ældste datter, der for nogle uger siden flyttede tilbage til familiens hus i Haslemere efter næsten 6 års ophold i Danmark. Vi har det med at vente på, at Alison indleder opkaldene på grund af, at hun altid er så travlt med at passe på sine 3 børn, lave mad, få børnene i seng osv.

Men desværre for 2. aften i træk hører vi ikke noget – vi må ringe til hende i morgen.

19:30 Vi bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser et gamle afsnit af Top of the Pops fra den 20. marts 1986.

Da Lois og jeg så dette afsnit for første gang i marts 1986, var jeg lige i min sidste uge nogensinde som en idiot i 30’erne. Lois var også 39. 

Tilbageblik til 1986: Lois

Mig sammen med Alison, vores ældste datter (1986)

Det må have været dengang eller deromkring, vi købte vores første VCR efter at have flyttet tilbage til England i 1985 efter 3 års ophold i USA, fordi den første VHS-optagelse nogensinde vi har i vores samling er Samantha Fox syngende ”Touch Me”, der ifølge dette afsnit lige var dukket op i top 40. Du godeste – hvor var vi dog  dumme dengang ha ha.

20:00 Vi fortsætter med at se fjernsyn, en interessant dokumentarfilm, der handler om den 16. århundrede og de to halvsøstre og Tudor dronninger, Mary og Elizabeth.

Henrik 8. var far til begge kvinder, men Marys mor var spanske Catherine, katolik, og Elizabeths mor var Anne Boleyn, protestant og Henrik 8.s anden kone, efter han indledte reformationen i England.

Mary, der blev dronning i 1547 efter døden af Henriks protestante søn Edvard,  tog landet i en kort periode tilbage i Europas katolske lejr.

Det er interessant at spekulere om, hvad ville have været Englands skæbne, hvis Mary havde kunnet få børn med sin ægtemand, Filip 2. af Spanien. Vi ville måske være blevet en katolsk land i århundreder – hvem ved. Marys børn, hvis det havde lykkes hende at få dem, ville have elimineret den protestante Elizabeth fra rækken af succession.

Mary led af dårlig sundhed hele sit liv, men troede, hun er blevet gravid i 1557, men det viste sig, at den kun var en såkaldte fantomgraviditet,og hun døde i 1558 – det kunne være, at fantomgraviditeten kunne have været ovariekræft, tror historikere nu til dags.

Under sin graviditet forordnede Mary, at hendes mand Filip2. ville være regent i det tilfælde, at hun døde. Filip  2. var konge af Spanien, der dengang var verdens eneste supermagt.

Yikes, skræmmende! Men Marys død reddede landet fra pavens legendariske lang arm, gudskelov.

20:45 Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone. Jeg har adgang til en whatsapp-chatrum, der består af medlemmer af Lois’s sekt, hvilket af og til giver mig interessante indsigter. Et kirkemedlem har lagt en imponerende liste over profeten Elias’ bedrifter op på  chatrummet.

Profeten Elias’ bedrifter

Det minder mig lidt om mine dage før jeg gik på pension, når vi hvert år skulle udfærdige en liste over vores bedrifter i forberedelse på det årlige gennemganginterview med vores chefer.

Jeg er ikke helt sikker på, om de hebraiske profeter fik årlige gennemganginterviewer med Jehova, men jeg har ikke nogen tvivl om, at Elias ikke ville have haft svært ved at finde op på bedrifter, han kunne inkludere i hans årlige bedriftsliste.

Da jeg var udarbejdende og mit årlige interview var overhængende, blev jeg altid blank om, hvad jeg i løbet af året havde opnået. Men jeg holdte en blok og kuglepen på natbordet, når jeg gik i seng: jeg plejede at finde på ”bedrifter”, da jeg af og til vågnede op og skrive dem på blokken. Den følgende dag på arbejdet plejede jeg at skrive min rapport til det kommende interview, og overdrev mine bedrifter lidt, for at gøre dem til at synes mere vigtige, end de i virkeligheden var – lykkelige dage!!!

Men jeg er helt sikker på, at jeg aldrig havde et år så udmærket som nogle af Elias’ år med deres blændende resultater – det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om ! Sand størhed fandt jeg altid vanskellig at få fat på, hvilket var lidt synd for mig.

21:00 Vi ser 2 gamle afsnit af Big Bang Theory, fra den seneste (11.) sæson.

Lois og jeg vil være helt ajour med hovedfigurernes status, før sitcommens nye sæson starter i efteråret. Vi gik glip af nogle afsnit i den 11. sæson på grund af vores fravær i marts/april i Australien.

I aften viser de 11. og 12. afsnit fra sæsonen. Den 11. afsnit var det lykkes os at se i Australien, men ikke den 12. . Vi boede dengang hos vores yngste datter Sarah i byen Perth, og det var svært at koncentrere os under tv-programmer, fordi Sarahs 5-årige tvillinger godt kunne lide om aftenen at sætte sig på vores skød og snakke med os. Lykkelige dage!

22:00 Vi går i seng. Jeg har stadig ondt i skulderen som følge af formiddagens havearbejde – pokkers, bare mit held!

Jeg håber på, at problemet bare er resultaten af at bruge muskler jeg i lang tid ikke har brugt. Det er lidt skræmmende, at vi af og til hører om bekendte i vores aldergruppe, der lider af den såkaldte ”frosne skulder”, som kan vare i mange måneder. 

Men jeg har i hvert fald tendens til at spænde skuldrene,  jeg har ikke den fjerneste idé hvorfor – på grund af nerverne sandsynligvis.

Zzzzzzz!!!

Wednesday, August 29 2018

10:00 Lois and I get up late - we tend to just lie there and chat in bed for too long, while drinking our morning tea. That's where the problem lies. We have breakfast late too.

It rained again in the night, and the hedges and bushes in the back yard are still dripping wet so I cannot cut them again today - damn it! We only have 11 days left before Lois' cousin from Melbourne, Sylvia, and Rod, her new partner, come to stay with us for a week .

The garden looks like a real jungle - but it's always useful to have some deadline and we always work best when we see the deadline moving closer. For some reason we do not want Sylvia and Rod to think our backyard is a bit of a disaster - call it foolish pride if you like.

12:00 I go out into the backyard and pick the apples from one of our two apple trees: the eaters. The cooking apples on our other tree are not ready yet. Today I pick a lot of eaters, many of them quite big, even huge in some cases, but unfortunately few of them are in perfect condition, which is a bit of a shame - damn!

One of the many benefits of growing one's own apples is that there is less confusion when Lois and I do the food shopping at the local Sainsburys supermarket. There are so many varieties of apples for sale, and I can never remember which are the juiciest.

I recall that the film star Will Ferrell hit the headlines a few years ago when staff in the produce section at Will's Local Trader Joe burst out laughing after the actor shot out one of his typically witty remarks (Source, Onion News). "I haven't had a good apple in a while," he commented, making a bunch of bystanders giggle and nod appreciatively. "Are Paula Reds any good? I wonder if they're sour like a Granny Smith", he continued.

Ferrell told reporters later that although he was very appreciative of his fans' support, he really needed a straight answer about the apples.

Will Ferrell with journalists: in search of a straight answer on apples.

13:00 Lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a huge afternoon nap. I get up at 3:30 pm and after a cup of tea I go out into the backyard again. The sun has been shining every now and then, and the hedges and shrubs have dried out a bit, so I start cutting back the most prickly bushes, on the principle that it is best to do the most difficult tasks first and also to use our (temporarily empty) brown garden waste bin  to put the cut branches in. It is always very difficult to put prickly branches in big plastic bags because they quickly puncture the plastic (and my hands).

18:00 We have dinner and afterwards Lois has to go out. She wants to attend her sect's Bible Class taking place tonight in the meeting room at Tewkesbury's public library. Gillian picks her up at 7:45pm.

Our daughter, Alison, who lives in Haslemere, promised to call us tonight between 6:30 and 7:30pm. We wait for the call, but we do not hear anything - later I get a text from her: something or other unpredictable was happening with the 3 children, but she will call us tomorrow instead.

Nic, Alison's best friend in her teenage years and after, when she was younger and still living with us, has told Ali that her mother, Sandra, died a couple of days ago (another victim of breast cancer - yikes, a bunch of acquaintances in our age group have recently been hit by breast cancer).

The funeral is scheduled for next Thursday in Cheltenham. We suspect Ali will not be able to attend the service, but we are not sure yet - next Thursday is also the first day of the local schools' autumn term, so it may prove too difficult for her. Lois is considering attending on Alison's behalf, although she will have to miss out on our next U3A Danish group's next meeting, which is the same afternoon.

20:00 I have a little alone time, but I don't want to even look at my long, long to-do list. There are two TV shows I would like to see, but they are both programs that Lois will also want to see, so for now I can only record them - we can see them together in the next few days.

I decide to take a look at "Sgt Bilko", a movie starring Steve Martin, which we recorded a few months ago. I turn the movie off after approx. 45 minutes: it's not as funny as I expected, which is a bit of a shame. I do some research online and I see that the movie was something of a failure at the box office too.

Once upon a time I was one of Steve Martins biggest fans and I also have many happy memories from the Bilko TV sitcom that aired in the 1950s. The sitcom was broadcast on Sunday nights and as children we were allowed to stay up a little later than usual so we could see it: I still have bitter-sweet memories of hearing the military march, the programme's theme tune, at the end of the program, because that music only meant one thing - bedtime and school the following day - damn it!

I decide to see an old episode of the Bilko sitcom on YouTube to see exactly where the movie went wrong, but it's hard to put your finger on it. The film's plot and script were disappointing, no doubt about that.

In Steve Martin's version of Bilko's unit there are too many soldiers and the mood is much more chaotic and slapstick than in the original television program, and less intimate. Incidentally we also see in his unit many women, also black men and women, which is a bit of a refreshing change from the original TV show, no doubt about that ha ha. We see couples sleeping in each other's arms after one of the unit's frequent parties, fully dressed, admittedly - but another thing we would not have seen in the original ha ha.

Sgt Bilko's unit, the morning after the party

But most of all, I just think Bilko will always be Phil Silvers from my point of view. And I miss Bilko's boss, Col. Hall's quiet, unspoken anger and despair (the role played by Paul Ford).

I read the other day that most episodes in the tv series were filmed so that they simulated a live performance. The actors learned their lines by heart and played the scenes in order in front of a studio audience. As a result, there were occasional flubs and awkward pauses. 

Paul Ford, who played Bilko's superior officer, was notorious for forgetting his lines: when he got a blank look on his face, Silvers and the rest of the cast would improvise something to save the scene, such as: "Oh, remember, Colonel, the top brass are visiting us today ..." Ford would then resume the script from the point where he got stuck.

Sgt Bilko (Phil Silvers, left) with Col. Hall (Paul Ford)

Larry David, who created "Curb Your Enthusiasm" as well as (along with Jerry Seinfeld) "Seinfeld" used to say that the Phil Silvers' Show was always his favorite sitcom, which is good enough for me, I have to say.

22:00 Lois comes back from the Bible Class. I go to bed, but Lois needs to relax and wind down a little after this evening's stimulating class. She decides to watch a bit of television, the American version of the television reality show, "Married At First Sight", originally a Danish tv franchise, which is a bit of a surprise to put it mildly.

23:00 Lois hops into bed with me and we chat a little about the program. She says the American version is a bit different from the British one. This evening's program ended with a bit of a cliffhanger - would the bride go through with the wedding, or not (she is having second thoughts). 

In the UK version, the wedding always takes place in the first episode, and after that the shennanigans start. In the US the shenannigans start before the ceremony, which sounds interesting.

Lois says she has not heard of any couple in the British version who have not split up after the compulsory 8 (?) weeks. The bottom line is that the program idea is trying to recreate, in a modern individualistic society, the ways of those traditional communities (India for example) where marriages are decided by the two families, and the couple's feelings do not count. That's why it's always a bit of a fiasco, she thinks.

Zzzzzzzzzzz !!!!!!!!

Danish translation

10:00 Lois og jeg står sent op – vi ligger og snakker i sengen for længe, mens vi drikker vores morgenté. Der har vi problemet. Vi spiser morgenmad.

Det regnede igen om natten, og hækkene og buskene i baghaven er stadig drivende våde, så jeg ikke kan klippe dem igen i dag – pokkers! Vi har kun 11 dage tilbage, før Lois’ kusine i Melbourne, Sylvia, sammen med Rod, sin nye partner, kommer for at bo en uge hos os. Haven ser ud som en sand jungle – men det er altid nyttigt at have en eller anden frist, og vi arbejder altid bedst, når fristen rykker nærmere. Af en eller anden grund vil vi ikke have at Sylvia og Rod synes, vores baghave er lidt af en katastrofe – kald det stolthed, hvis du har lyst til det.

12:00 Jeg går ud inde i baghaven og plukker æblerne fra en af vores to æbletræer: spiseæblerne. Vores madæblerne på det andet træ er ikke færdige endnu. I dag plukker jeg en masse spiseæbler, mange af dem ganske store, endda enorme i nogle tilfælde, men desværre er få af dem i perfekt tilstand, hvilket er lidt af en skam – pokkers!

En af de mange fordele til, at man gror sine egne æbler, at der er mindre forvirring, når Lois og jeg gør madindkøb i det lokale Sainsburys-supermarked. Der er så mange varietater af æbler til salg, og jeg kan aldrig huske, hvilke er de saftigste. 

Jeg mindes, at filmstjernen Will Ferrell for nogle år siden ramter overskrifterne, da latteren begyndte at runge blandt personalet på Wills lokale Trader Joes frugtafdeling, efter han indskød en af sine typiske morsomme bemærkninger (kilde, Onion News). ”Jeg har ikke spist en god æble i et stykke tid, ” kommenterede han, hvilket fik en flok tilstedeværende til at fnise og nikke påskønnende. ”Er Paula Reds et godt valg? Jeg undrer mig, om de er lidt sure, ligesom Granny Smiths”.

Ferrell fortalte senere journalister, at han var meget glad for hans fans’ støtte, trængte han i virkeligheden til at få et lige svar om æblerne.

Will Ferrell sammen med journalister: på jagt efter et lige svar om æbler

13:00 Frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng og tager en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15:30 og efter en kop te går jeg ud ind i baghaven. Solen har skinnet af og til hele dagen, og hækkene og buskene har tørret lidt ud, så jeg går i gang med at klippe de mest stikkende buske, på princippet, at det er bedste at gøre de mest besværlige opgaver først og bruger vores brune haveaffaldsspand for at putte de klippede grene ind. Det er altid meget besværligt at putte dem i store sække, fordi de hurtigt punktere plastikken (og mine hænder).

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bagefter skal Lois ud. Hun ønsker at deltage i sin sekts bibelklassse, der finder sted i aften i mødelokalet i byen Tewkesburys offentlige bibliotek. Gillian henter hende kl 19:45.

Vores datter, Alison, der bor i Haslemere, lovede at ringe til os mellem kl 18 og 19:30. Vi venter på opkaldet, men vi hører ikke noget – senere får jeg en sms fra hende: der skete noget uforudsigeligt med de 3 børn, men hun vil ringe til os i morgen.

Nic, Alisons bedste perleven i teenagealderen og efter, da hun var yngre og boende hos os, har fortalte hende, at hendes mor, Sandra, døde for et par dage siden (endnu et offer for brystkræft – yikes, en flok af vores bekendte, i vores aldergruppe, har for nylig pådraget sig brystkræft). Begravelsen er bestemt til næste torsdag i Cheltenham. Vi mistænker, at Ali ikke vil kunne deltage i tjenesten, men det er vi ikke helt sikre på endnu – næste torsdag er også den første dag i de lokale skolers efterårssemester. Lois overvejer at deltage på Alisons vegne, selvom hun bliver nødt til at gå glip af vores U3A danske gruppes næste møde, der sker samme eftermiddag.

20:00 Jeg har lidt alenetid, men jeg har ikke lyst til ligefrem at kigge på min lange, lange gøremålsliste. Der er to tv-programmer jeg gerne vil se, men de er begge programmer, som Lois også vil se, så jeg kun kan optage dem – vi kan se dem sammen indenfor de næste få dage.

Jeg beslutter at kigge lidt på ”Sgt Bilko”, en film stjernespækket Steve Martin, som vi optog for et par måneder siden. Jeg slukker for filmen efter ca. 45 minutter: den er ikke så morsom, som jeg forventede, hvilket er lidt af en skam. Jeg gør lidt forskning på nettet, og jeg ser, at filmen var lidt af en fiasko ved billetkontoret.

Jeg var engang en af Steve Martins største fans og jeg har også mange lykkelige minder fra Bilko-tv-sitcommen, der blev sendt i 1950’erne. Sitkommen blev sendt om søndag aftener og som børn blev vi tilladt at blive oppe lidt senere, end normalt, så vi kunne se den: jeg har stadig bitre-søde minder om at høre marchkomponisten, der var programmets temamusik ved slutningen, fordi den der musik kun betød en ting – sengetid, og skole den følgende dag – pokkers!

Jeg beslutter at se et gamle afsnit af Bilko-sitcommen på YouTube, for at se, præcis hvor filmen gik galt, men det er hårdt at sætte fingeren på det. Skriptets plot og script var skuffende, ingen tvivl om det.

I Bilkos enhed er der alt for mange soldater og stemningen er meget mere kaotisk og slapstick-temaet, end i det oprindelige tv-program, og mindre intim. For øvrigt ser vi også i enheden mange kvinder, og sorte mænd og kvinder, hvilket er lidt af en forfriskende forandring fra det oprindelige tv-program, ingen tvivl om det ha ha. Vi ser kærestepar sovende i hinandens arme efter enhedens adskillige fester, selvom fuldt klædte – endnu en ting, vi ikke ville have set i det oprindelige ha ha.

Sgt Bilkos enhed, morgenen efter festen

Men mest af alt synes jeg, at Bilko vil for evigt være Phil Silvers set ud fra mit syndspunkt. Og jeg savner Bilkos chef, Col. Halls stille uudtalte vrede og fortvivelse (rollen spillet af Paul Ford).

Jeg læste forleden, at de fleste afsnit i serien blev filmet således, at de simulerede en live præstation. Skuespillerne lærte deres linjer udenad og spillede scenerne i rækkefølge foran et studiepublikum. Som resultat var der lejlighedsvise bommerter og akavede pauser. Paul Ford, der spillede Bilkos kommandant, var berygtet for at glemme sine linjer; når han fik et blankt udtryk på ansigtet, ville Silvers og resten af de medvirkende improvisere noget for at redde scenen, som for eksempel: "Åh, husk på, hr kolonel, de højtstående officerer besøger os i dag ..." På det tidspunkt ville Ford genoptage scriptet, hvor han gik i stå.

Sgt Bilko (Phil Silvers, til venstre) sammen med Col. Hall (Paul Ford)

Larry David, der skabte ”Curb Your Enthusiasm” også (sammen med Jerry Seinfeld) ”Seinfeld”, plejede at sige, at Phil Silvers’ Show altid var hans yndlingssitcom, hvilket er godt nok for mig, det må jeg nok sige.

22:00 Lois kommer tilbage fra bibelklassen. Jeg går i seng, men Lois trænger til at slappe af og geare lidt ned efter aftenens stimulerende klasse. Hun beslutter at se lidt fjernsyn, en amerikansk version of  tv-reality showet, ”Married At First Sight”, der oprindeligt var en dansk tv-franchise, hvilket er lidt af en overraskelse, for at sige mildt.

23:00 Lois hopper op i sengen til mig og vi snakker lidt om programmet. Hun siger, at den amerikanske version er lidt anderledes, end den britiske. Aftenens program endte med lidt af en cliffhanger – ville bruden gennemføre bryllupet, eller ej (hun ombestemmer sig lidt, lader det til). I den britiske version, finder bryllupet altid sted i det første afsnit, og derefter starter balladen. I USA starter balleden før ceremoniet, hvilket lyder interessant.

Lois siger, hun ikke har hørt om noget par i den britiske version, somme ikke er gået fra hinanden efter de obligatoriske 8 (?) uger. Bundlinjen er, at program-idéen forsøge at genskabe i et moderne individualistiske samfund vanerne af samfunder (Indien for eksempel) , hvor ægteskaber bliver besluttet af de to familier, og parrets følelser regner ikke. Derfor bliver det hele altid til lidt af en fiasko, tror hun.

Zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 28 2018

08:00 Lois and I get up and go in the shower. After breakfast, we drive over to the town of Upton-on-Severn because Lois wants to visit Yvonne, a member of her sect, who recently moved into a local nursing home just outside the town, after her family decided she was no longer capable of living independently in her own home.

Yvonne suffers from dementia, so Lois and I decide that it will be better if I stay sitting in the car in the nursing home's car park - there is a chance that Yvonne will remember Lois, but my presence may confuse her. The visit takes approx. 30 minutes - Lois chats with Yvonne in the nursing home's big lounge, but after half an hour Lois can see that Yvonne is getting tired and in a bad mood. She finally stops answering Lois's questions, so easy decision - time just to say goodbye, no doubt about that!

The big question is whether either Lois or I will end up in a nursing home one day - the jury is still out on that one. The thought of it is all a bit of a nightmare, I must say. My father ended up in a nursing home and lived there for 3 years, but my mother and Lois' parents avoided this fate. So who knows?

Yikes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lois comes out of Yvonne's nursing home after her 30 minute visit

10:30 We drive into Upton-on-Severn. We have not been in the town for many many years, although in the past it was one of our favorite towns to go on outings to. It's an old town on the Severn River (needless to say ha ha), with many beautiful old houses and shops on the main street.

We see the old inn the White Horse, where Tom Jones in the famous novel was seduced by a certain "Mrs Waters" after a big dinner for two in the inn's dining room: Lois always comments when we see the movie, that she thinks the dinner was too lavish and the couple would in fact probably have been suffering from severe flatulence and indigestion afterwards and not at all in the mood for sex, but I'm going to let that one slide.

The "White Horse" inn, where Tom Jones in the famous

novel was seduced by the mysterious Mrs. Waters, who was actually Jenny Jones.

In the novel, Tom and Mrs Walters are surprised in bed by an angry man who is looking for someone else, another woman, it turns out - but why is this incident in the book, I ask myself.

There is a brief panic later - Mrs Waters is revealed as the alter ego of Jenny Jones, who was believed to be Tom's biological mother. Yikes - incest! But a happy ending - his real mother turns out to be Bridget Allworthy, who conceived him after a brief affair with the local school teacher. Good grief - such goings-on !

Happy days, when we had time to watch such movies - ie before we retired ha ha.

12:30 We look round this charming town and end up at Henry's bookstore / antique shop / cafe on the main street where we have lunch yum yum!

We take a little look round this charming town

We have lunch at "Henry's", a charming

bookstore and antique shop, which doubles as a cafe

13:30 We go home and go to bed for 3 hours - my god, what madness - and we forget all about our long, long to-do list: how lazy we are some days, but then we're just a couple of old crows, after all.

6:00 pm Dinner, and afterwards we watch a bit of television. The 5th part of a new documentary series is on, all about the Vikings.

An interesting program in some ways, but, like all the previous episodes, this documentary is a classic example of an hour long program with only about 15 minute of actual information. Also the title of the series - The Viking Dead, which sounds so creepy and exciting - is not really appropriate as far as this particular episode is concerned, which is all about the large number of 1000-year-old Viking ships which have been excavated in the fjord near Roskilde, Denmark over the past 60 years .

Lois and I are very interested in the Viking and Viking ships, etc., but this program reveals far more information about the work of reconstruction of the ships than the most fanatical history buff would ever want to know - my god, what a crazy world we live in!

However, it is nice tonight to see again the city of Roskilde's Viking Ship Museum, which Lois and I visited in 2014 with Alison, our oldest daughter, who was then living in Copenhagen. Happy times !!!

Flashback to April 2014: Lois and I visit the Danish city

of Roskilde's Viking Ship Museum together with Alison, our elder daughter

Lois and I have fun dressing up as vikings, but

would we in fact have succeeded in terrorising people in England's 

coastal North Sea towns? The jury is still out on that one.

21:15 We continue watching television, a tv reality show, "First Dates Hotel", where 3 pairs of potential lovers get to know each other in a hotel somewhere in central Italy.

I have one serious problem with this program - I do not like any of the participants, which is a pity for me (but I don't suppose they care too much about that ha ha). 

And I think the original idea for this franchise, where the potential lovers simply went out on a date to a restaurant in England, was much better.

There is a big problem, we both think, in sending the couples to a gorgeous hotel in Italy, where the weather is incredible, where every half-naked couple have many hours to spend with each other surrounded by unlimited quantities of alcohol, and where there is an easy opportunity to go to bed together after the first dinner (just like Tom Jones). 

The result is that serious conversations about likes and dislikes, about life stories and personalities, etc. are submerged and drowned out in an atmosphere of alcohol and quick holiday sex. Good grief, we are such prudes ha ha.

Is this too much (cleavage), asks Chloe.

Yes, darling, say Lois and I !!!!

22:00 I go to bed, but the program still has 15 minutes left to run, and Lois sees it to the bitter end. Afterwards she hops into bed with me and tells me the outcome from the three couples' viewpoints. It seems that only the gay couple actually went to bed together the first evening and that later when the two men returned to England they did not want to see each other again, which was a little disappointing.

Lois says that gay people are rumoured to have a tendency to be more promiscuous than heterosexuals, but we don’t know if that’s just a rumour, or just homophobic talk perhaps.

The two heterosexual couples were more cautious and have continued their relationship since they came back to England, which is nice. Good grief, what a crazy world we live in (again) !!!!!

ZZZZZZZZZZ !!!!

Danish translation

08:00 Lois og jeg står op og går i bad. Efter morgenmad kører vi over til byen Upton-on-Severn, fordi Lois ønsker at besøge Yvonne, et medlem af sin sekt, der for nylig flyttede ind i et lokalt plejehjem lige udenfor byen, efter hendes familie besluttede, hun ikke længere kunne leve uafhængigt i sit eget hjem.

Yvonne lider af demens, så Lois og jeg beslutter, at det vil være bedre, hvis jeg bliver siddende i bilen på plejehjemmets parkeringsplads – der er en chance for, at Yvonne vil huske Lois, men min tilstedeværelse kan måske forvirre hende. Besøget tager ca. 30 minutter – Lois snakker med Yvonne i plejehjemmets stor stue, men efter et halvt time, kan Lois se, at Yvonne bliver træt og i dårligt humør. Hun holder endelig op med at besvare Lois’ spørgsmål, så – det er på høje tid at sige farvel, ingen tvivl om det.

Det store spørgsmål er, om enten Lois eller jeg en dag vil ende på et plejehjem – det er juryen stadig ude om. Det er lidt af et mareridt – det må jeg nok sige! Min far havnede på et plejehjem og boede der 3 år, men min mor og også Lois’ forældre undgik denne skæbne. Så hvem ved?

Yikes!!!!!!

Lois kommer ud af Yvonnes plejehjemmet efter

sit 30 minutters besøg

10:30 Vi kører ind I  Upton-on-Severn. Vi har ikke været i byen i mange mange år, selvom det før i tiden var den en af vores favoritte byer til at tage på udflugt til. En gammel by, der ligger ved siden af floden Severn (unødvendigt at sige ha ha), med mange smukke gamle huse og butikker på hovedgaden.

Vi ser den gamle kro  White Horse, hvor Tom Jones, i den berømte roman, blev forført af  en vis ”fru Waters” efter en stor middag til 2 i kroens spisestue: Lois siger altid, når vi ser filmen, at hun synes middagen var for overdådig og parret i virkeligheden sandsynligvis ville have lidt af alvorlig flatulens og dårlig fordøjelsesbesvær derefter, og overhovedet ikke have været oplagt til sex, men det springer jeg over.

kroen ”The White Horse”, hvor Tom Jones i den berømte

roman blev forført af den mysteriøse fru Waters, i virkeligheden Jenny Jones.

I romanen bliver Tom og fru Walters overrasket i seng sammen af en vred man, der er på jagt efter nogen anden, en anden kvinde, viser det sig – men hvorfor er denne hændelse i bogen, spørger jeg mig selv.

Der er en kort panik senere – fru Waters bliver afsløret som alter egoet af Jenny Jones, som man troede var Toms biologisk mor. Yikes - incest! Men en lykkelig slutning – hans ægte mor viser sig faktisk at være Bridget Allworthy, der undfangede ham efter en kort affære med den lokale skolelærer. Du godeste – sikke en redelighed!

Lykkelige dage, da vi havde tid til at se sådanne film – dvs. før vi gik på pension ha ha.

12:30 Vi se os om lidt i denne charmerende by og ender på ”Henry’s” boghandel / antikvitetshandel / café på hovedgaden, hvor vi spiser frokost yum yum!

vi kigger lidt rundt omkring i denne charmerende by

vi spiser frokost på ”Henry’s”, en charmerende

boghandel-antikvaritetshandel, der fordobles som café

13:30 Vi kører hjem og går i seng i 3 timer – du godeste, sikke et vanvid, og vi glemmer alt om vores lange, lange gøremålsliste: hvor er vi dog dovne nogle dage, men vi er bare et par stykker gamle krager, når alt kommer til alt. 

18:00 Aftensmad, og bagefter ser vi lidt fjernsyn. De viser den 5. del af en ny dokumentarfilmserie, der handler om vikingerne.

Et interessant progam på nogle måder, men ligesom alle de forrige afsnit, er denne dokumentarfilm imidlertid et klassisk eksempel på en time lang program med ca. 15 minutters information. Også seriens titel – ”The Viking Dead”, som lyder så uhyggelig og spændende – er ikke rigtigt passende, hvad angår dette afsnit, der handler om den stor antal 1000 år gamle vikinge skibe, som i de seneste 60 år er blevet udgravet i fjorden nær Roskilde, Danmark.

Lois og jeg interesserer os meget for vikingetiden og vikinge skibe osv, men dette program afslører langt mere information om arbejdet af rekonstruktionen af skibene, end den gennemsnitlige historie-fan nogensinde ville har lyst til at vide – du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !

Det er imidlertid rart i aften at se igen byen Roskildes vikingeskibsmuseum, som Lois og jeg besøgte i 2014 med Alison, vores ældste datter, der dengang boede i København. Lykkelige tider!!!

tilbageblik til april 2014: Lois og jeg besøger den danske by

Roskildes vikingeskibsmuseum sammen med Alison, vores ældste datter

Lois og jeg hygger os med at klæde os ud som vikinger, men

ville vi i virkeligheden have terroriseret folk i Englands kystlige Nord-sø byer?

Det er juryen stadig ude om.

21:15 Vi forsætter med at se lidt fjernsyn, et tv-reality show, ”First Dates Hotel”, hvor 3 par, potentielle kærestepar,  lærer hinanden at kende i et hotel nogle steder i ”centrale Italien”.

Jeg har et alvorligt problem med dette program – jeg kan ikke lide deltagerne, hvilket er rigtig synd for mig ha ha. Og jeg synes, at den oprindelige program-idé til denne franchise, hvor de potentielle kærestepar simpelthen gik på en date på en restaurant i England, var meget bedre.

Der er et stort problem, synes vi, med at sende parrene til et pragtfuldt hotel i Italien, hvor vejret er utroligt, og hvor hvert halvnøgen par har mange timer til at tilbringe med hinanden over ubegrænset kvantiteter alkohol,  og hvor der er mulighed for at gå i seng sammen efter middagen, som er programmets hovedsagelige fokus. Resultaten er, at alvorlige samtaler om likes og dislikes, om livhistorier og personligheder osv bliver overdøvet af en stemning af alkohol og feriesex. Du godeste, vi er så snerpede ha ha.

Er dette for meget (kavalergang), spørger Chloe.

Ja skat, siger Lois og jeg !!!!

22:00 Jeg går i seng, men programmet har stadig 15 minutter tilbage og Lois ser det til den bitre ende. Bagefter hopper hun op i sengen til mig og fortæller mig udfaldet fra de tre pars synspunkt. Det ser ud som om, kun det bøsse par faktisk gik i seng sammen den første aften, og at senere, da de to mænd kom tilbage til England, havde de ikke lyst til at se hinanden igen, hvilket var lidt skuffende.

Lois siger, at rygtet går, at bøsse mennesker i gennemsnit er mere promiskuøse, end heteroseksuelle  mennesker, men vi ved ikke, om dette er sandt eller bare homofobisk sludder, eller ej.

De to heteroseksuelle par var mere varsom, og har fortsat med deres forhold siden de kom tilbage til England, hvilket er rart. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i (igen) !!!!!

Zzzzzzzzzz!!!!