Friday December 12th 2025 "Ancient Egypt '100 feet bigger than previously thought' - shock report!!!!"

Yes, Friends, do you remember? Back in 2017 experts revealed that Ancient Egypt indeed contained about 100 feet more space than had previously been thought - who would have believed it! The report was on the cover of both Newsweek and Onion News, back in the day, so 'fish' those old, yellowing, decomposing periodicals out of the kitchen waste and give them a second look - and do it now, before those all those teabag stains make them unreadable (!)

Just saying!!!

And do you remember, also, those insightful comments on the story from the local Onion News' "vox-pop" panel of ordinary East Hampshire men-and-women-in-the-street, which certainly gave the discovery a new perspective, which was nice!

Insightful or what !!!! And who says, now, that East Hampshire folk are just a bunch of country bumpkins!!! Makes you re-think some of those tired old stereotypes, doesn't it!!!

And here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, the memory of that report brings a faint trace of a smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois as we get ready for the big event of our week - the Christmas lunch organised by Lois's fellow church-members just 24 miles south of here, at a critically acclaimed pub in lovely Emsworth, Hampshire.

(above) our approximate route this morning from our home in Liphook,

24 miles south to Emsworth, and (below) Lois attacking her prawn cocktail starter

(left) and (right) Yours Truly taking my obligatory selfie over my soup [not shown!]

Lois and I are remembering that "Pyramid Void" story this morning, in anticipation of discussing it with 

Grahame, one of Lois's fellow church-members, and a noted archaeologist, who's just returned from 3 weeks in Egypt. 

Unfortunately Grahame's report on the trip is dominated by his troubles about getting to Heathrow Airport, his bus breaking down on the M25 and having to wait on the hard shoulder in the rain for a replacement bus: things always seem to go wrong with Grahame's travel arrangements, other church members tell us! But what madness!!!

Poor Grahame !!!!!

Luckily, on the other hand, Grahame has thought to bring along the brochure for the trip which was organised by himself and other leading members of his Roman Archaeology Association, and he lets Lois have a "shufti" at it, which is nice !!!

(top left) church-member Grahame attacking his starter soup, and (top right)

Lois examining Grahame's trip brochure, and (below) the itinerary

Grahame also regales us with some of the meals he had in Egypt. He actually arrived back in the UK, but was puzzlingly a "no-show" at the church's Sunday Morning Meeting last Sunday. He explains that he came home with a nasty bout of what he calls "Pharaoh's Revenge", and not the computer game (!), I'm talking about the unpleasant tummy upset!

Whilst away in the Middle East, Grahame has clearly avoided breaking any more teeth this time, however, by steering clear of anything harder than a slice of the Cairo branch of Greggs's coffee-and-walnut cake (!), He's still smarting from the BBC's refusal to pay for his recent dental work, even though they paid for the same 'job' when it came to TV archaeologist Professor Alice Robert's lovely set of "gnashers", a personal slight by the Corporation, which is obviously still "eating away at him" - no pun intended !!!!!

(left) flashback to August when noted archaeologist Grahame takes us and a group of church-members around Calleva Atrebatum (Silchester) and (right) rival archaeologist TV's Prof Alice Roberts 

- see her lovely smile-to-camera, as she digs up a Roman villa at Kettering

What madness!!! 

Lois and I very much enjoy the 'do' today, but, as the pub fills up, it becomes increasingly noisy with all the chat going on. And we find it increasingly difficult to hear what people are saying to us, and getting them to hear what we're saying. So by the time we get home to Liphook, Lois and I are completely "talked out" and longing to just get into bed for a nice quiet nap (!).

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

[That's enough madness! - Ed]

flashback to August: Grahame checks over an old Roman 

town wall during our group's trip to Silchester - poor Grahame !!!!!

Lois thinks it's a pity that Grahame hasn't got a wife to help him get through the multiple obstacles that seem to dog him, allowing him to forget about the distant past, and to "navigate" the vagaries of the modern world. 

another picture from August: Lois gazes through

a gap in Silchester's old Roman town wall,

while Grahame mops his brow behind her

We've only known Grahame since we first moved to Liphook in January, so we don't know his back story. Maybe he's been married at some time in the past, but we don't know - he never talks of a wife, or wives, so who knows!

Human beings are generally fairly monogamous, however, as we find out tonight from this week's edition of the TV comedy news quiz "Have I Got News For You", presented this week by actor Martin Clunes, TV's "Doc Martin".

A recent survey put human beings as in the Top Ten of Monogamy, as regards the animal kingdom, Clunes reveals, with people coming in at a respectable Number 7 in the table. But we could have come higher, points out team captain Ian Hislop:

Poor Boris !!!!!

Which animal is Number One, when it comes to faithfulness? Yes, you've guessed it - it's the California deermouse: want to see a picture?

And, on the other hand, which type of humans are most likely to be unfaithful? 

The panel suggests plumbers and milkmen, but the correct answer is actually postmen, and the opportunities for "chat up lines" soon become obvious when the panel has had time to think of them.

Oh dear !!!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Thursday December 11th 2025 "Do YOU still watch 'Corrie'? It's tough going after 65 years isn't it haha!!!!!"

Yes, Friends, do YOU watch "Corrie" - the famous Coronation Street 'soap', still going after 65 years, would you believe? One local man is "keeping the faith" apparently, according to this morning's Onion News!

Poor Bryce!!!!!

But so-called "marathons" aren't always a bad thing, and, generally also "not doing things by halves" (!). 

And here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, the Onion Story brings a bit of a wicked smile to the lower part of my face, and that of my wife Lois today, as we do our annual check on the winners and losers in this year's Nobel Prize competitions, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

And it certainly hasn't harmed that Hungarian writer Laszlo Krasznahorkai, who has just won this year's Nobel Prize for Literature, according to an email today from our Hungarian penfriend Tunde. Laszlo doesn't believe in doing things by halves, and his long sentences and unbroken paragraphs, sometimes going on for pages, has certainly impressed the prize's Swedish judges, that's for sure!

His debut novel "Satan's Tango" has been made into a 7-hour film, which is regarded as one of the best arthouse films of all time.

Yikes, a seven hour film !!!!  Lois and I are interested in seeing the film, but I think we shall have to do some serious 'marathon' training first, like local soap-watcher Bryce (see Onion News story above!) before we'll have a chance of "staying the course" (no pun intended!!!!) for the full 7 hours!!!

In the story, a charming and charismatic con-man, named Irimias, manipulates some Hungarians in a run-down village with promises of untold wealth. However, he ends up just pocketing all their money and leading them on to a drunken 'dance of death' at a local inn.

"drunken dance of death at a local inn" - a scene from 

the 7-hour film version of Hungarian novel "Satan's Tango" 

Stories about con-men are always fascinating, though, aren't they, but "drunken dances of death" are now banned in all reputable East Hampshire pubs, I believe - which is probably for the best !!!

14:30 And talking of marathons, this afternoon Lois and I have to contend with another rowdy "marathon" meeting of our online "Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, the local U3A group that we manage "for our sins" (!!!!). 

me and my wife Lois trying to control another rowdy meeting of our

"Intermediate Danish for Old Codgers" group, that we manage

"for our sins" (!!!!!)

Our interest in the Danish language began in 2012, when our daughter Alison and her family moved to Copenhagen. And here we are, 13 years later, still trying to master the "lingo", and, with our little local group, working our way through Danish crime novel "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss) by Danish writer Anna Grue.

Just like that Hungarian novel "Satan's Tango", this Danish novel "The Judas Kiss" is also all about a charismatic and persuasive con-man. 

(left) Danish author Anna Grue, and (right) her crime novel 

"Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss) about a young Danish con-man

and the women he conned

In "The Judas Kiss", a young Danish conman and gigolo, Jay, makes a career out of getting into bed with single, older, Danish women, and then getting into their bank accounts.

And in the chapter we read with our online group this afternoon, Jay is theorising about the best women to "go for", if he wants to maximise his earnings, while avoiding police investigations. 

The ideal age for his victims, Jay says, is 60 to 75, because when he steals money from their bank accounts, they rarely report the theft to police, out of embarrassment over the sex part. Women under 60 will probably be willing to swallow their humiliation and risk the scandal. Women older than 75 are afraid they'll just be pitied if their story gets in the news. It's all a bit reminiscent of Anne Bancroft, the "older woman" in "The Graduate". 

Anne Bancroft, who plays "Mrs Robinson"

in "The Graduate" 

Jay says, however, that the 60-75 age women, who have just entered the menopause, can still remember "being constantly on the dance-floor with men at Christmas parties and getting 'salacious offers' [Danish: sjofel tilbud] ". As a result these women are suckers for anything that suggests that they've still "got it" and that they can still "pull". What madness !!!!!

Interesting analysis isn't it, however - and your comments welcome (postcards only!!!!), especially if YOU can remember getting 'salacious offers' haha (!!!!).

And at least when Danish con-man Jay gets into bed with his menopausal victims, the couple don't have any spectators, which must have been a relief, both for him and, more importantly perhaps, for his somewhat embarrassed, older, "squeezes" (!).

At least they get some privacy, unlike some of our British kings and queens of the past, as we learn from tonight's fascinating episode in Channel 5's "Secrets of the Royal Palaces" series, to put it mildly !!!!! 

Everything, but everything, in royal marriages was public in those crazy times, including the wedding night, as historian Professsor Kate Williams explains in tonight's programme. 

In 1486, Henry VII was marrying Elizabeth of York at Westminster. There was a lavish feast put on to celebrate the end of the "War of the Roses", but the main event wasn't the feast, or the "wedding ceremony", it was the "bedding ceremony", seemingly (!). 

What madness!!!

The royal couple were stripped by their courtiers, put to bed, and served a concoction of wine and spices "to get things going". And then the place was turned into a giant theatrical spectacle, "where everyone had a good old look at the wedding night actually taking place, live", Professor Kate explains. 

A scene pretty terrifying, particularly for the royal brides, who, the first time they encountered their future courtiers, were lying half-naked in a bed, being fondled by their husbands, and they knew that everyone was watching, to see exactly what went on. 

What was crucial was, that the royal marriage was confirmed to have been successfully consummated, because the most important job for a royal bride, in those days, was to have a child. 

For the wedding guests, watching the proceedings was a spectator sport, says Professor Kate, and it was like watching an X-rated movie for entertainment, only this time it was the King. And the "bedding ceremony" really showed the royal bride that every part of her body and of her life in the palace was public property. 

Absolutely nothing was private!

What a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off days!!!!

[Go to bed! Now!!!! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday December 10th 2025 "Has YOUR kids' teacher been frightening them recently? They may need some extra TLC tonight! Just saying!!!!"

Yes, Friends, it's a common dilemma, isn't it, particularly for parents of school-age children! How to bolster your kids' confidence after their teacher has been scaring the living daylights out of them!!!!

What would YOU do to help YOUR kids in this kind of situation? There was a case in point reported in the local Onion News for East Hampshire this morning. It's a bit of a head-scratcher, isn't it!!!! 

Yikes!!!! And if YOUR kids are in Ms Frederickson's class, they may need a bit more TLC than usual when they come home tonight. I've included this terrifying Onion News story here today now, as a bit of a "heads up" to local parents.  

Just saying!!!!!

Certainly, when Yours Truly and my wife Lois (a.k.a. Mrs Yours Truly!) pop in for a "little light lunch" at local farmshop Applegarths' restaurant today, we were relieved to find all the chairs in their usual position, and not made into one of Ms Frederickson's "giant circles", which was nice!

Applegarths Farm Shop Restaurant, near Grayshott, Surrey

The place is certainly "rammed" this lunchtime, what with co-worker groups, friends and families celebrating with a pre-Christmas "nosh-up" (!). Luckily, however, Lois and I are able to get an intimate table-for-two next to the toilets, which for most people would be a bit of a drawback, but, as we're both 79, and "knocking on" 80, the proximity of the bathrooms proves a definite plus, to put it mildly!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

So no, if Lois and I are put off our stroke by anything this lunchtime, it's not "chairs in a giant circle", thankfully!!!  It's more Applegarths' giant meals that are scaring the pants off us today! We normally eat very sparingly, but today we have to cope with some giant burgers and piles of chips, although we squirrel at least a third of the food away in our serviettes when we leave, so not as bad as it sounds!!!!!

We decide to drop in at Applegarths at the end of a long walk over lovely Luddshott Common, 700 acres of heathland, once owned, 1000 years ago, by one of the last Anglo-Saxon kings, Edward the Confessor, but, since then, let out free to the area's "commoners" to graze their pigs, cattle, sheep and goats in/on, which was nice! And during World War II, our Canadian allies practised their tank manoeuvres here, when they came over to help us in our hour of need.

flashback to this morning: Lois and me on our daily walk, which today takes us over

lovely Ludshott Common, once owned by King Edward the Confessor, would you believe!!!

Luckily we've had lots of rain this last summer and autumn, but in dryer years, this lovely heathland has been hit by bush fires, particularly during the hot summers of the 1970's. During the last of these, in 1980, pretty much the whole common - 600 out of 695 acres - was burnt away, and residents in nearby Headley Down even had to be evacuated from their homes - yikes!!!!

one of the many bush fires that have ravaged this heathland in the past

Yes, fire is a bad master, but a good servant, as people say. And on the BBC News today, there's a story revealing just how long human beings have been using fire "as a servant". New archaeological discoveries in  the county of Suffolk Eastern England have indicated that it has been much much much longer ago than previously believed, that people discovered how to do it - to make fire.

According to the recent excavations, it wasn't a "mere" 50,000 years ago, but at least 400,000 years ago that it started happening: a discovery which is a bit of a game-changer for historians, to put it mildly!!!!

Researchers have just uncovered evidence of the earliest known instance of human-created fire, which took place in the east of England 400,000 years ago. The new discovery, in the village of Barnham, Suffolk, pushes the origin of human fire-making back by more than 350,000 years, so far, far earlier than previously thought.

the 2025 excavations at Barham, Suffolk

As the BBC report explains, the ability to create fire, whenever it happened, was the moment that changed everything for humans. It provided "warmth at will", and enabled our ancestors to cook and eat meat, which made our brains grow. It meant we were no longer a group of animals struggling to survive – it gave us time to think and invent, and to become the advanced species we are today.

The team say they found baked earth together with the earliest Stone Age lighter – consisting of a flint that was bashed against a rock called pyrite, also known as fool's gold, to produce a spark. Sparks are created when the pyrite is hit with a flint axe, enough to create a fire when it lands on dry tinder. It was the first known lighter. 

(right) a piece of iron pyrite, very rarely found naturally in Suffolk, but brought

into the area, and used to make fires and keep people warm around 400,000 years ago

The team conducted geological studies which reveal just how rare iron pyrite is in this landscape. The conclusion: that ancient people went far and wide to seek it out the pyrite they needed because this "fool's gold" was, to them, the most precious mineral in the whole world.

Fascinating stuff, isn't it! [If you say so! - Ed]

20:00 And still today, 400,000 years later (approximately!!!), many people even light fires in their own houses, I'm told, and experts say that it's usually quite safe to do so, although it's a good idea to make sure your chimney is regularly "swept" - Colin's "tip of the day", if you like!

a typical chimney sweep, sweeping a modern chimney

The profession of "chimney sweep", however, is not everybody's idea of a pleasant occupation, although it's one that's been certainly useful to human society over the millennia.  And who can forget Dick Van Dyke's "Cheerful Cockney Chimney-Sweep" in the 1964 film "Mary Poppins". Certainly his British fans have never let Dick forget it !!!!

Chimney sweeping is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it!. And there are sometimes some unexpected perks to the job.

Oover 200 years ago, a couple of French chimney-sweeps had a bit of a surprise when they were sweeping the chimneys at France's iconic Versailles Palace back in the days of Queen Anne-Marie Antoinette, as Lois and I find out this evening, while watching the latest programme in the fascinating Channel 5 series, "Secrets of the Royal Palaces".

Lois and I didn't know that a couple of chimney sweeps happened to be working in Versailles at a particularly tense time. It was the week that the Queen Marie-Antoinette went into labour, expecting her first baby after trying fruitlessly for 8-years, during the early years of her marriage to the French king, Louis XVI.

As historian Kate Williams explains, in France a royal birth was made into a public event, firstly to say that the birth was legitimate, that everybody saw it being born. So no pretenders, no time-wasters (!), this was the actual monarch of the future. And for 8 hours only, the Queen's body became "the property of the nation" (!). It was a celebration, a party. And everybody who could, was going to go in and have a jolly good old look at her, while she was doing it, that's for sure!

Including two chimney sweeps who just happened to be doing the palace chimneys that week. 

What madness!!!!

Oh dear! Poor Queen !!!!

Those two chimney-sweeps must have got "quite an eyeful" from the tops of their ladders. And they must have come away with some good stories to regale their friends and family with, for the rest of their lives, that's for sure!!!!

But what a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off times !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!