Did you read about poor local teenager Brynna Keswell, who was on the front page of the Onion News for East Hampshire this morning? It's a bit of a warning for all of us about not playing around with the supernatural, isn't it, to put it mildly!!!
The Devil can be a bit naughty with young women sometimes, particularly in East Hampshire, it seems, and the County Council's Social Services Department have, frankly, quite enough to do, without having to monitor the scores of often neglected demon-children, hanging about on our street corners and shopping centres in the evenings!
typical local demon-children, hanging about on East Hampshire street corners
Before today, my medium-to-hard-pressed wife Lois and I have got to admit, we didn't even know that there are actually seven of the buggers (!) - seven Devils, I mean, doing their evil work amongst us.
What madness, isn't it !!!!
But when you think about it, after all, there are as many as 7 deadly sins to be encouraged, which all takes up time, and we imagine that a (probably) frankly exhausted Devil finally got funding for 6 underlings that he could delegate some of the less deadly sins to. He was determined to keep "anger" for himself, because it's a notoriously "easy" sin to encourage, seemingly!
Here's his current full line-up, for reference:
Well, let me put my cards on the table at this point, because it'll make the explanation easier! [Don't even think about doing that, Colin, it'll just make things ten times worse! - Ed]
It's all quite simple, really, you see. My medium-to-hard-pressed wife Lois and I, as you're probably aware, are the current leaders of the East Hampshire U3A "Old Codgers" Intermediate Danish group, "for our sins" - although not for our "deadly sins", hopefully !!!!
me and my medium-to-hard-pressed wife Lois trying to keep order
in another typically rowdy meeting of our U3A Old Codger
Intermediate Danish group - for our (hopefully) not too deadly sins !!!!!
And at today's online meeting of our group, we found out that "Seven devils!!!!!" is a filthy Danish expletive [Danish: "[Det var som] Syv Satan!!], so be careful about using it next time you're in Copenhagen having tea with the King and Queen, say, as you do !!!!
"Seven devils!" must be pretty filthy, as Danish expletives go, because Jeanette, our only genuinely Danish-born member, tells the group today that she has never heard of it, and her language is filthy enough for anybody, to put it mildly!!! Luckily, she has never been invited to any of Copenhagen's Royal Palaces, which is probably for the best, considering !!!!!
Jeanette, our group's only genuine Danish-born member, who today
learns a new filthy Danish expletive to add to her already-bulging "lexicon" (!)
The good thing, however, is, that the subject of devils, and of "devil numbers", brings a lot of laughter to our online group meeting this afternoon, as we all practise our Danish swear-words (!). And Lois and I badly need that dose of levity, to put it mildly, after a punishing morning tying long sticks together with twine and dancing round them!
And no, it's not our version of some weird new form of devil worship, in case you're wondering! It's just Lois and me doing our own little private midsummer erection ritual, setting up the poles for our runner beans to entwine themselves around.
Call us prosaic if you like haha !!!
midsummer rituals: (top) sun-worshippers celebrating the summer solstice
at Stonehenge, Wiltshire, and (bottom) us, the runner-bean-worshippers,
erecting some of this year's poles in our tiny back garden this morning
[Get on with it! - Ed]
Putting up bean-poles in anticipation of harvesting "the little buggers" later (!) is just so life-affirming isn't it! And it's our way of saying a big "YES!" to life itself, and we've been saying "YES" to it every mid-summer, since we first "hooked up" 55 years ago (!).
flashback to June 2021 and one of our previous midsummer erection
rituals, as dyed-in-the-wool runner-bean-worshippers (!)
Growing things out of nothing (almost), getting your hands dirty with soil, picking the fruits of your labours - it's all so primeval and "earthy", isn't it, and can be quite sexy in a way.
And if you're trying to "hook" a mate, there's no better way of "chatting somebody up" and sparking their interest, than to talk about your gardening week and the gardener's calendar, with its "ups and downs", that's for sure.
That kind of talk is a bit of a "turn on", particularly for young women, I think you'll find!
In tonight's re-run of the BBC's adaption of Jane Austen's "Emma", Emma finds out that her friend Harriet Smith has "hooked up" with the charming Mr Knightley after just one such experience, which is heart-warming.
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment