Danskcolin: Wednesday January 13th 2021

07:00 It's Wednesday so it's recycling collection day. I put out our recycling boxes on the kerbside, but they don't get collected: the recycling guys have outwitted me again. It turns out they're not coming till Friday - they're still gradually working their way back to their usual schedule after their extended break over Christmas and New Year. Damn! They must be laughing in their boots about all the mugs like me who have put the stuff out too early. Damn (again) !!!!

local recycling guys: they've wrong-footed me again - damn !!!!

09:00 Today I can put my old smartphone away in a drawer, and just use my shiny new one - hurrah! I've finally managed to notify everybody who calls me on the old phone to use my new number from now on. This is a great day - I've become fed up with carrying two phones about with me - they're beginning to wear a hole in the pockets of my jeans.

However, I look at my shiny new smartphone and I see that there's supposedly a message for me on my NHS Covid-19 app. However I can't find the message, because the app is stuck on the "loading" stage. How crazy!!!

Later I look at the BBC News website, and apparently there's a problem with the app on "some android phones" - the NHS are apparently liaising with Google to try and solve the problem apparently. What's the good of having an app that can tell you if you've been in contact with an infected person, if it doesn't work with Android? What madness !!!!

09:30 We speak on zoom with Sarah, our younger daughter, who lives in Perth, Australia, together with Francis and their 7-year-old twins, Lily and Jessica. The session had been postponed from Sunday because the family were on an extended outing.

The girls are bouncing about all over the sofa as usual, bless them! Francis tries to position the camera so that we can see a kangaroo that's hopping around in their backyard, but it's moving too quick for us to catch sight of, which is a pity.

Sarah says they don't go outside into the yard much - it's too hot. They concentrate on staying inside and keeping the insects - scorpions, ants and spiders - out. And they've started keeping the air-conditioning on at night, which they don't like doing, because it's expensive and it tends to dry out their throats etc. Lois and I remember that syndrome from when we lived in Maryland USA 1982-1985: my god!

Lily does cartwheels across the room, but I fail to capture it with my camera unfortunately - she's too quick for me! She says she can do 10 in a row, which is her record: she's so athletic, bless her!

Jessie showcases her new sun-glasses

Sarah and Lily

Sarah, Jessica and Lily

How cute the twins are!

11:00 Lois and I go out for a walk on the local football field. It's slightly damp, so there aren't too many people about, which is nice.

we go for a walk on the local football field - only one jogger today,

and the tops of the hills are shrouded in mist again, which is nice.

Lois did this walk on her own yesterday, and she says there was a bunch of "sports-joggers" around: they run round the tarmacked path but are unwilling to give way to walkers in case it shaves vital seconds off their target times: the result is that Lois had to step off the path and stand on the squelchy water-logged grass until the joggers flew by, while she was trying to keep a safe distance from them.

Boris is talking about keeping 3m away from other people now - which is about 10 feet: quite a distance! And sports-joggers are often puffing and panting, which probably means they can shoot their "droplets" a further distance while they are sports-jogging than they can shoot normally, which is annoying. My god !!!

Anyway there's only one non-sports jogger on the loose today, which is a relief. Thank goodness for that!

20:00 Lois disappears into the dining-room to take part in her sect's weekly Bible Class. I settle down on the couch and watch the latest episode of the second season of "Staged", starring David Tennant and Michael Sheen.

The first season of “Staged” was the surprise hit of the early lockdown, in which Michael Sheen and David Tennant played themselves as two bitchy locked-down actors talking with a director on zoom about preparing for a play, hopefully to be staged "when the theatres reopen".

In this second season, the plot revolves around a proposed "remake" of "Staged" for US television. Sheen and Tenant have their egos bruised when it's revealed that US TV doesn't want them to reprise their roles personally in the US version, "because they're not big enough names in the States".

US television wants Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to take the roles of David and Michael. All four actors have the same US agent, Mary. Mary sets up a zoom meeting for all 4 to get together, so that Sheen and Tennant can pass on a few tips to Pegg and Frost, so that they can feel more confident about taking on the parts.

Sheen and Tennant, however, cooperate only reluctantly. And feeling hurt at being passed over, they approach the zoom meeting as a chance to give some bum steers and generally sabotage the proposed remake. This attempted sabotage turns out to be highly successful, because Pegg and Frost pull out of the project as soon as the zoom has finished.

In tonight’s episode Mary shows her anger with Sheen and Tennant over what has happened, and makes them promise to behave better with whoever are the next candidates for the roles that the US TV channel proposes.

She tells them, in no uncertain terms, "So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to offer you both up to read again with whoever they want to see next. And you're going to do it politely, and you're going to do it competently, and you're going to f****** do it for free. Do you understand me?"

What isn't revealed tonight is the identity of the next "US box office gold" stars that are going to be offered the two roles. But luckily I surfed "The Sun" and various other news websites today, and I realize that at some stage one of the stars to be approached is going to be Jim Parsons, who starred as Sheldon in the US comedy "Big Bang Theory". Parsons is a bit of a hero to Lois and me because of his role as Sheldon, so we're really looking forward to seeing him on "Staged", maybe next week? We can't wait!!!

21:00 Lois emerges from her Bible Class, and we watch the first programme in a new season of Mark Kermode's series "Secrets of the Cinema".

It's nice to see some of the old familiar funny clips from British comedy films over the decades, but in fact I wish we could see far more of them, and hear far less of Mark Kermode's "analysis" and his "drawing of parallels" and his film-critic"-speak, his sentences packed with colourful prose and carefully-honed references. Just show us the jokes next time, Mark haha!

It's much more enjoyable to just watch funny scenes than to listen to somebody trying to analyze just why they're funny, and talking about things like "tropes" - oh dear, I've just realized I don't know exactly what a "trope" is - damn!