Monday January 3rd 2022

12:00 Lois and I have a naughty morning again - during our walk round the local football field, we rashly order a piece of cherry and almond cake from Monika, the Whiskers Coffee Stand's Polish waitress, a slice of cake which thereby becomes today's "naughty nibble". We decide to share it to halve the calories, however.

today's "naughty nibble" - Monika's cherry and almond cake:

go on have a bite yourself haha!

Monika says she and her partner, who's also Polish, had a quiet New Year's Eve. Although New Year is a big thing in Poland, she never used to relish it, she tells us. And this year it was just a glass of wine at midnight, and after that they just went to bed, which makes sense to me!

It's pretty quiet on the football field today, 3 or 4 dog-walkers and that's all. But things liven up when the old codgers turn up with their soccer kit and start kicking the ball around in the netball court, which is nice. They're always quite enthusiastic, even if they're not that skilful or lithe. I can't see any of them going professional, that's for sure! My god!!!

the local old codgers turn up for their weekly soccer practice 

in the netball court - what madness !!!!!

14:00 Lois's main job today will be making the icing for our belated 8-inch Christmas cake. She couldn't get any royal icing from the local Budgens, so she's hoping to make it herself.

The cake so far is just got marzipan on it, so the big step is still to come. Although it's just going to be us seeing it and we'll be mostly just eating it, so no real pressure, just Lois's pride in her own cake-making skills being at stake haha!

I showcase the 8 inch cake, with its current marzipan coating

See? Simples !!!!

16:30 My big job today is to start looking for the next Danish text for the U3A Danish group, which Lois and I run, the only one of its kind in the UK.

We're getting near the end of our current crime novel, and Lois and I have been wondering whether we ought to go for a book of short stories for our next project. 

The problem is that the group takes so long to get through a full novel - our current novel is 300 pages long, but we only ever manage to read about 5 pages at each meeting, basically because there's just too much chat and nattering - and in English: I can't get them to focus! What a crazy world we live in !!!!

I know the group prefers Danish books that are a bit racy, without being outright disgusting, so I've got to avoid choosing something that's too tame, that's for sure. I think I may have found a likely book - it's stories about a mixed group of gardeners, both men and women, who gather over an out-of-town allotment just beyond Copenhagen's western suburbs. And everybody knows that gardeners like to get up to all sorts of capers at weekends - this could be the perfect project, so (green) fingers crossed haha!

short stories of fun and games on Danish allotments

The English title is "Small Gardens Big Dreams", which says it all, I think. [No it doesn't! - Ed]

Yes, I think short stories are definitely the answer. A novel of 300 pages takes 60 meetings to finish, which equates to 120 weeks, so by the time we're halfway through the book, most of us have forgotten what happened at the beginning of it - you do the maths!

What madness! This book of short stories based on a mixed group of green-fingered Copenhageners sounds just right to me. But we'll see.

I expect they'll grumble whatever I choose! 

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

20:00 We watch some TV, the much-awaited Christmas edition of "Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing", presented by retired comedians Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse.

Who knew that salmon are rare creatures in English rivers? There are plenty in Scottish rivers, and I assumed it would be the same down here, but apparently not.

For this trip Bob and Paul travel right up north to the River Tees in Northumberland, to see if they can bag an English salmon. Paul gets a trout and a salmon early on, but poor old Bob has to wait till the last reel haha to get his salmon, but it's a big one.

However, the high point of the show for Lois and me is to see the show's annual awards to the staff who've yet again been working so hard on the series. 

Bob, who judges all the awards, came in for a certain amount of criticism last year for awarding all the trophies to himself, except for two: (1) best newcomer and (2) best personality awards, both of which Bob assigned to his talking dog Ted, who accompanies the boys on their fishing trips.

Bob's talking dog, Ted, who last year scooped the 2020

"Best newcomer" and "Best personality" awards

But will the award- ceremony be a bit more "inclusive" this year, as Lois and I hope? It turns out that the ceremony this year is going to be much pared down, with only two categories spotlighted, "Show 2021 Employee of the Year", and "2021 Best Bankside Caterer".

The award ceremony is pleasantly low-key taking place in an otherwise empty bar-room near Blyth, Northumberland.

It turns out that the "2021 Employee of the Year" award goes to Ted, Bob's talking dog, which is a nice surprise. Lois and I were rooting for Ted all year long.

In another surprise, Paul is disappointed again this year when he just misses out on the other major award , "2021 Best Bankside Caterer", which goes instead to Gloucestershire Angling Fanatic Charlie Cooper from the "This Country" sitcom series.

And in another surprise, Charlie Cooper steps out of the shadows to receive his award in person in the quiet bar, after a 6-hour drive from his home in Gloucestershire.

Lois and I aren't sure, but this is what Google thinks could have been three possible routes Charlie could have taken to drive from Cirencester to Blyth, Northumberland, to pick up the award in person:

A nice end to the evening, for everybody except Paul, who goes away without a prize yet again. However I'm going to let that one slide, because Lois and I are both so pleased to see Ted in particular scoop another award to add to his haul of two for 2020. Well done, Ted!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!