Danskcolin: Wednesday May 4th 2022

16:00 Lois and I sit on the sofa with a cup of tea having made a momentous decision - to sell our house after 36 years.

a typical contract with an estate agent: "Just sign here, kid!"

By 4 pm we feel like limp rags from all the nervous tension today, because we spent the morning doing more things to the house than I can ever remember, and then at 1:30 pm Simon the Estate Agent called to see us, taking photos with his Nikon camera, and measuring rooms with his little laser device, or whatever it is - my god, it doesn't take him long!

And now the die is cast - we've signed a contract with him to sell our house, so there's no going back. YIKES !!!!!!!

Well, strictly speaking, there is a going-back available, although I think we have to give him a couple of weeks' notice. But I don't think we'll be doing that - we like to keep things simple.

What we don't know is how often we'll get prospective buyers coming round wanting to view our house. So just in case, we'll probably have to keep it pretty much tidy all the time, which isn't really our style.

And we don't know if we'll still be able to go upstairs for naps in the afternoon, for instance, or is that out of the question now? Well, the jury's still out on that one.

Flashback to this morning: we discover what the real surface of our dining-room

table looks like: it's been covered for about 40 years with some sort of

foam-backed covering designed to protect it from children and grandchildren

- what madness !!!!!

Now the table and its secrets have been revealed, we'll have to "lay the table" each time we want to sit down and have a meal. For the last 20 years or so, we've kept tablecloth, mats, glasses and cutlery on there pretty much 24/7, so when it's mealtime we can just sit down straightaway, and start eating. Oh dear - that's a bother, to put it mildly!

It's a buyers' market at the moment, so we have to wait to sell our house before putting an offer in on the house we decide we want to buy, which makes it simpler too in a way.

We think that our back garden is one of the house's strongest selling point, so it's a pity that it shows a number of traces of damage from the recent storms, but Simon says it won't make any difference to the house's attractiveness as a purchase, which is a relief.

Flashback to this morning: I tidy up some of the clutter

in the living-room, while Lois is outside cleaning the patio furniture

Normally the living-room sofa is littered with, not just us, but the magazines we read, like "Radio Times" and "The Week". I suppose now we'll have to put them back in the magazine rack when we're not reading them. What madness !!!!!

Luckily we can leave Simon to show prospective buyers round the house - and we've given him a set of keys. We don't know, as yet, how long the average visit takes, so we'll have to see. But we're determined to have some sort of fun when we're having to keep out of the way - even if it's only a cup of tea at Webbs Garden Centre. Call us reckless hedonists if you like haha! [All right, I will! - Ed]

20:00 Lois disappears into the dining-room to take part in her sect's weekly Bible Class on zoom. I settle down in the living-room to watch a bit of TV, but I feel tired and a bit out-of-sorts after the day's events.

I often use these times when Lois is busy to "test-drive" some of the new sitcoms that have appeared recently. Tonight I try Channel Four's "Chivalry" and BBC3's "Peacock".

"Chivalry" stars Steve Coogan and Sarah Solemani, and tackles gender politics in the Hollywood of the #metoo era. "Peacock" stars Alan Mustafa, and is the story of a personal trainer in the midst of an identity crisis.

Both sitcom episodes I watch start with a couple in bed, who are having sex or have just finished having sex, so I guess that must be the fashionable way to do your opening scenes these days. Yikes!!!!

the opening scene of the "Chivalry" episode

included for comparison purposes - the opening scene

of the "Peacock" episode

I watch both episodes for about 10 minutes each. But oh dear - once again a bunch of writers have gone to a lot of trouble with the characters and plot, but forgotten to put any jokes in, which I suppose is an easy mistake to make when you're busy! I don't think Lois and I will be spending much time on either of these series in future, but we'll see!

21:15 Lois emerges from her zoom session and we wind down with an old episode of the 1980's sitcom "Ever Decreasing Circles" about Martin (Richard Briers), an obsessive suburbanite activities-organiser, and his long-suffering wife Anne (Penelope Wilton).

Also featuring prominently is Martin and Anne's charming and sophisticated neighbour Paul (Peter Egan), who is better than Martin at everything, and who also has his eye on Anne.

This episode also starts with Martin and Anne in the bedroom, but they're not having sex - after all this episode first aired in 1984 - they did things differently then haha.

Anne is sitting at her dressing-table doing her make-up, when Martin comes in brandishing his clipboard. He wants to persuade Anne to enter his neighbourhood snooker knock-out tournament, to make up the numbers - he needs 32 entrants and he's only got 31. The only problem is that Anne doesn't play snooker - oh dear!