Thursday 18th April 2024
09:30 Lois and I go out of the house this morning together for almost the first time since my discharge from hospital (April 9th) for a hip replacement operation. It's an appointment for the nurse at our doctor's surgery to check n the condition of my so-called "wound", and hopefully remove the dressing, "so that air can get to it".
Lois is a very infrequent and, consequently, an understandably nervous driver, and also having to drive in a town we don't know well, either of us - we moved here recently after 36 years in Cheltenham. However, I myself am not allowed to drive for 6-8 weeks after my operation. We did do a "dry run" yesterday, when Lois just drove me to the doctor's and then drove me home again without our getting out of the car, so we're feeling cautiously optimistic, which is a help.
The nurse is very sympathetic when she reads out what the hospital put inside my body apart from the shiny new hip. I switch off mentally as soon as she mentions the word "cement", and so I'm not sure if there is also "building rubble" or that kind of malarkey in my body now as well.
Maybe I should be told? Lois can't remember either.
A few days ago we saw a TV archaeology programme about excavation of a cemetery on the site of the Birmingham terminal of the "planned" HS2 high-speed rail link from London. Professor Alice Roberts was the presenter of the programme.
Archaeologists were surprised to dig up a skull which had a brick inside it, when investigating the bodies buried in the cemetery in Victorian times and before. The explanation was that grave-robbers or coffin-robbers, who made a fortune in those crazy far-off days by illegally selling human organs to Britain's burgeoning medical schools, had taken some corpse's brain out of a coffin, and substituted a brick in the skull instead so that the whole coffin would "weigh about the same", and not arouse suspicion when it was being buried.
What madness!!!
Later archaeologists found another skull with a Victorian jar of marmalade in it - but this time they concluded this brain had been taken legally by medical students, who substituted the marmalade jar back in there "just for a joke".
Aren't our British medical students wonderful? Their sense of humour is second to none in the world, that's for sure! And we can hold our heads high when we travel the world, provided we don't have bricks in them, I suppose.
But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!
11:00 Lois and I drive safely home. Do I weigh a bit more, not through over-eating but because I've got a brick in my "undercarriage"? Let's hope not. And at least the dressing for the "wound" is off now, which must have weighed a few ounces at the very least, I suspect.
So it's "swings and roundabouts", perhaps. But we'll see next time I weigh myself.
Well, we've all had a jolly good laugh about all that, haven't we! [Speak for yourself! - Ed]
However, there's also a more serious point here, isn't there. Can perhaps some of the mysterious decisions taken recently by our leaders be explained by hospital treatments in which brains were replaced by bricks, be it intentionally or by mistake, or just as a harmless "jape" or "gag" by some high-spirited med students - the results would be the same either way, after all, wouldn't they?
I wonder...!!!!
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