Friday December 11th 2020

 09:00 Lois and I tumble out of the shower, but it's my turn to clean up - damn! On the plus side it's almost a 10-minute work-out all on its own, to put it mildly.

11:00 We phone through next week's grocery order to Budgens, the convenience store in the village.

Budgens (on the left), the former Bakery Stores, the convenience store in the village

12:00 We go for a walk on the local football field - it is deserted today apart from us and one solitary jogger, but that's probably mostly because it's approaching lunchtime. Lois stops to put the last 17 of our 90-something Christmas cards into the postbox.

Lois and I go for a walk on the local football field

Lois stops to put the last 17 of our 90-something Christmas cards into the postbox on the corner

We consider walking on through the new housing estate on the far side of the football field, but we decide against it, because we're starting to feel hungry, and we both know there are sausages on our lunch menu. Also an alarming new report on Onion News suggests we might be taking our life in our hands if we try to explore the area - yikes!

flashback to Wednesday - we reach the entrance to the new housing estate.

Today we reach the same point, but decide to turn back and play it safe!!!!

Warning that those who go on such weekend outings do so at their own peril, a study released Friday by researchers at Washington State University found that more than four in five couples who walk around exploring new neighbourhoods never make it back home.

“Our evidence suggests that the vast majority of couples who decide to take an afternoon stroll through a part of town they’ve never visited before simply vanish without a trace,” said the report’s author, Monica Briggins, noting that barely 15 percent of couples who decide to check out a cute little area they read about online or a new tapas bar on the other side of the city actually end up returning safe and unharmed to their residences.

“Of course, of that 84 percent who wind up being listed in missing persons reports, only about half their bodies are ever located and recovered. We found that the remaining half of couples who wanted to take advantage of the nice weather and finally visit a city’s up-and-coming arts district are simply never seen or heard from again.”

The report follows on the heels of a recent study that found that 71 percent of couples who go jogging together become completely lost and must resort to cannibalism.

Oh dear! Call us cowards if you like, but we can't risk having to wind up eating each other and having to leave those delicious butchers' sausages back at the house to be eaten by somebody else, that's for sure!!!!

13:00 Lunch, followed by a nap in bed. At about 3:15 pm our neighbour Bob rings the doorbell - he has brought us another brace of partridges, prep'd and ready to cook, but we put them in the freezer for now.

16:00 We settle on the sofa with a cup of specialty fruit tea - blueberry flavoured green tea, and listen a bit to the radio. The "Last Word" is on - Lois and I try to listen to this programme every Friday afternoon to see if anybody has died or not: usually it's only about 4 people so not too bad!

Peter Alliss, the former golfer and (later) BBC golf commentator with a unique style, has died, sadly, aged 89. His commentaries sometimes attracted the wrath of the political correct lobby. At the 2015 Open Championship, when he was talking about the wife of Zak Johnson. Peter said, "I bet she's thinking, if this putt goes in, I'll get a new kitchen". 

He got a lot of flak for that remark, but later he said, "I try to be an observer. You can get into trouble for that sometimes if you don't say the right things to the right people." However, John Cleese spoke for many when he said, "I always thought I could cope with the ending of the world if only Peter Alliss was commentating on it."

Oh dear - let's hope the world doesn't come to an end now. We might have to put up with somebody excitable doing the commentary, which would be a pity. It's always best to "Keep calm even if you can't carry on" haha!

RIP Peter Alliss (1931-2020)

People used to say the same thing about ITN newscaster Reginald "Reggie" Bosanquet who died in the 1980's: i.e. that they would have been comforted hearing really bad news, like, say, the end of the world, if it had been Reggie who was announcing it.

And Pamela Stephenson (centre picture above), together with Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith and Chris Langham, famously sang a song about him on "Not the Nine o'clock News".

"I see you every night in my dreams

Your face so supple and so clean

My pillow is wet with teary streams
Falling to the carpet making it dewy

Oh, oh, oh Bosanquet
Why did you go away?
Oh, oh, oh Bosanquet
Why did you leave me this way?
Oh, oh, oh Bosanquet

So now it's only minutes till ten o'clock
(Bong)
And I sit here in my easy chair
(Bong)
In half an hour I'll switch over
But Reggie darling you won't be there"

Reggie famously said, "Let's Get Through Wednesday", meaning that the worst is over when you've only got Thursday and Friday to do. He made it the title of his autobiography, and I remember I used to say his phrase to myself many a time during difficult weeks at work - happy days!!!

Come back, Reggie, all is forgiven!!!! [He's dead - Ed]

20:00 We watch a bit of TV, the second part of Andrew Marr's series on "The New Elizabethans", which catalogues some of the many changes that have overtaken the British in the nearly 70 years since the coronation of Elizabeth II in 1953. This episode concentrates on Britain's declining power in world affairs.

I don't really like Andrew Marr's documentaries - his stony-faced expression (which becomes quite wearing after a while, I find), his general gimmickiness and the way he chooses to do his pieces-to-camera in exotic locations, such as Capri in tonight's programme, I also dislike how he spends a lot of time on quite trivial but photogenic events, and almost no time at all, sometimes, on more significant developments.

The main themes he draws out, like Britain's declining empire and military power, and her partial resurgence as more of a cultural influence, seem pretty obvious ones to Lois and me. But we try to bear in mind that a lot of his viewers aren't as long in the tooth as we are. We are both old enough to remember Elizabeth's coronation on TV in 1953: typically only one or two houses in every street had a TV set in those days, and neighbours tended to crowd in and watch it together.

Lois and I are both history buffs, so it was nice at the beginning of the programme to see the new Queen, at 27 years of age, carrying out "the coronation review of the fleet" (300 of the naval ships of the British Empire) in June 1953 at Spithead just outside Portsmouth, just like her predecessors had done, going back to Elizabeth I and even as far as Henry V - yikes!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!