10:00 I'm still feeling a bit foolish, and possibly senile, after mistakenly ordering one Brussels sprout from Sainsbury's a week ago, instead of the one kilogram of sprouts, which was what I had intended to order: especially as it was the second time in a month or so that I had made this mistake.
I had ended up shamefacedly handing the single sprout back to the delivery guy, and later I found that the supermarket had at least credited my account by 3p, which was nice - it showed the system worked, at least!
flashback to last month - the single sprout I had mistakenly ordered from Sainsbury's
the 3p refund we received from Sainsbury's - the system works anyway haha!
Am I really going senile? Well, the jury was still out on that one. But this morning I got a morale boost from Hungary - my penfriend Tünde has sent me a Hungarian news flash: a fellow Englishman, much younger than me, called James, had hit the headlines in Hungary by reporting the same problem, in this case following an order to Tesco supermarkets, Sainsbury's big rival.
James's cry-for-help subsequently "went viral" on Twitter, and his local supermarket took pity on him and came to his aid, promising to amend the misleading wording on their website and sending him a free pack of sprouts into the bargain, which was nice, to put it mildly!
flashback to December 22nd: James's original "tweet-for-help" over his 3p sprout
What madness !!!! But it leaves us in a quandary - should Lois and I switch to Tesco from Sainsbury's - that'll require a bit of thought and planning however - oh dear!
11:00 Lois goes for a walk on the local football field, but Connor, my NHS physiotherapist, has scheduled today as an exercise day for me, so I don't go with her. Just as well I don't go anyway, because poor Lois suffers an unexpected "wardrobe malfunction" while on the field: she has to abort after only one circuit, and then come back and change into something less troublesome - oh dear!!!!
Instead of doing the walk I do some recycling work - it's a pity that this time of year we get more recycling candidates than ever - packaging from online Amazon and other orders, Christmas wrapping paper, plastic containers from meal deliveries etc. On the other hand, however, the recycling and waste disposal guys are on holiday - no fair!!!! They're not coming here again till January 4th - my god! Our recycling boxes will weigh a ton by then - yikes!
After I fill up the boxes with what we've got so far, I go upstairs and do the exercises Connor has scheduled for me.
13:00 We have lunch, a rerun of yesterday's Christmas dinner: it's great that it neatly divides into two days of meals - yum yum!
flashback to yesterday's Christmas dinner - we decide to "do it all again" haha!
As we finish the meal we get another whatsapp call from Sarah, our daughter who lives in Perth, Australia, with Francis and their 7-year-old twins, Lily and Jess. They are currently camping on the Southern Ocean coast, but the weather has changed =- cooler and wetter, and they'll be heading back to Perth after the next couple of nights.
flashback to December 22nd - Sarah's family at Lucky Bay, before the weather changed
14:00 I go out into the back garden to see if there are any "loose objects" lying around that could turn into destructive weapons during tonight's forecast "Storm Bella": heavy rain and winds of up to 45 mph - yikes!
I put the hoe and the rake into the greenhouse, and put any lightweight-looking plastic chairs into sheltered spots. The storm is coming from the south-west (the Atlantic in other words) so the main brunt of it will be on our bedroom window: we're in for a filthy night, that's for sure!!!!
Storm Bella is coming a-calling tonight - yikes!!!!!
16:00 We have a cup of Tea Pig Extra-Strong Earl Grey tea. Lois cuts the first two slices of this year's Christmas cake - yum yum!
Lois cuts the first two slices of this year's Christmas cake - yum yum!
20:00 We watch a bit of TV, the latest programme in the special Christmas season of University Challenge, where contestants are not current students but "distinguished alumni" of the institutions concerned - tonight, as before, Lois and I haven't heard of any of these alumni, which is a pity.
Tonight's teams represent specialist institutions: UCLAN trains mainly aspiring press and TV journalists, Loughborough trains students mainly for careers in the sporting world.
Lois and I have our money on the journalists, but the quiz doesn't work out the way we expected. Loughborough win easily (170 to 60), but mainly due to their engaging team captain, the poetess Kate Fox, who answers the bulk of the questions for all 8 of those involved. What a woman!
the poetess and broadcaster Kate Fox, the Loughborough team captain
Kate Fox when she got her BSc in 1996
Lois and I are on a roll this week, and tonight we again answer 10 questions that the "distinguished alumni" either can't answer or get wrong.
1. What specific year of WW2 was the title of Clive Ponting's work subtitled 'Myth and Reality'? It advances the view that, Britain's "finest hour" was a triumph of rhetoric over reality.
"Distinguished alumni" - 1945
Colin and Lois: 1940
2. Towns with famous roller-coasters: name this town: its position is highlighted on the inset map -
"Distinguished alumni": Colchester [Say what???!!! - Ed], Folkestone
Colin and Lois: Margate
3. Born in California in 1920, which pianist fronted a quartet known for "Time Out", the first jazz album to sell more than a million copies, and "Take Five", the best-selling jazz single of all time?
"Distinguished alumni" - Duke Ellington, Miles Davis
Colin and Lois: Dave Brubeck
4. What name is shared by the NASA space programme that preceded the Apollo series, and the constellation of the zodiac whose name relates to the offspring of Leda in Greek mythology?
"Distinguished alumni": Castor [Say what???!!! - Ed], Mercury [Say what???!!! - Ed]
Colin and Lois: Gemini
5. Born in County Mayo, which former diplomat became, in 1990, the first female President of Ireland?
"Distinguished alumni": Mary Kelly
Colin and Lois: Mary Robinson
6. Name this singer. [We hear some lyrics "Life is your restaurant, And I'm your Maitre D', Come whisper what it is you want..."]
"Distinguished alumni": [pass]
Colin and Lois: Robin Williams
7. The island of Skomer off the Pembrokeshire coast has one of the world's largest colonies of which sea-bird?
"Distinguished alumni": the Fast Puffin [Say what???!!! - Ed]
Colin and Lois: Manx Shearwater
8. From the still picture, name this film, for which the casting director was nominated for the inaugural casting BAFTA award.
"Distinguished alumni": "The Pope"
Colin and Lois: "The Two Popes"
9. Which Australian-born actor starred in the 1930's films "Captain Blood" and "The Adventures of Robin Hood"
"Distinguished alumni": [pass]
Colin and Lois: Errol Flynn
10. Which river joins the Ohio River at Paducah, Kentucky, roughly midway between St Louis and Nashville?
"Distinguished alumni": the Texas River
Colin and Lois; the Tennessee River
Enough said!!!!
At the gong, presenter Jeremy Paxman has some heart-warming words of consolation for the losers, UCLAN, which is nice.
21:00 We continue to watch a bit of TV, the second part of an entertaining series about the late lamented comedienne Victoria Wood's list of her favourite sketches from her first solo TV series, that debuted back in the 1980's.
Every programme in the series started with 5-10 minutes of her stand-up comedy.
One of Victoria's main preoccupations was boring, unromantic, unpassionate men, more interested in computers or DIY, home maintenance or decorating, than in having sex.
And her programmes tended to end with one of her self-penned, self-performed songs at the piano, like this one, her most famous song, called "Let's Do It". about a couple, Freda and Barry.
Tonight we hear her play and sing all (12 or more?) verses of this song at her piano, including this verse:
So she said, "Let's do it, let's do it, do it till our hearts go boom,
Go native, creative, living in the living-room,
This folly is jolly,
Bend me over backwards on my hostess-trolley,
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!"
So he said, "I can't do it, I can't do it,
My heavy-breathing days are gone,
I'm older, I feel colder,
It's other things that turn me on.
I'm imploring, I'm boring,
Let me read this catalogue of vinyl flooring.
I can't do it, I can't do it tonight!"
And she said “Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel I absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.
No cautions,
Just contortions!
Smear an avocado on me lower portions.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!”
And he said, “I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house.
I've got a busy evening planned.
Stop nagging.
I'm flagging.
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.” Etc etc
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!
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