For Lois and me this is our fifth complete day in Hampshire house-sitting and pet-sitting for our daughter Alison and family, covering for them while they travel around Europe on their railway adventure through Spain, Italy and Switzerland.
We decide it's time we explored nearby Headley Village, attracted by the information that there's a "village centre" somewhere around. If it's a "centre" it ought to be in the middle somewhere, you'd think, but Headley is a very "bitty" village - there's a bit here and a bit there. It needs properly organising if you ask us! [Well you don't live there so it's none of your business, really, is it! - Ed]
we visit Headley's not-very-famous "village centre"
We feel a few pangs of disappointment, nonetheless, when we realise that the so-called "village centre" consists of a pub, a church, a couple of food stores and a hairdresser's. Still, the pub looks like a good bet for a lunch on at least one of the days we're going to be here, so that's a relief!
the village pub, The Holly Bush
I stand next to the public defibrillator, and showcase one of
the area's forthcoming "cultural events", or is it the other way
around? I think I should be told!
the village's three shops seen here in the background
And that's it for the so-called "village centre".
We're pleased with our visit and our modest purchases, nonetheless. We come away with some lamb samosas for lunch, and a copy of next week's Radio Times. Lois and I will have fun later this week trying to do the puzzles on the back pages.
You can't say we don't like our simple old-fashioned pleasures haha!
14:00 We spend the afternoon in bed, while hundreds of miles south, in Spain, Alison and family are travelling by train from Barcelona to Madrid. As yet there's no news from the Spanish capital, but we know one of the big attractions is for young Isaac (12) to be able to see the Real Madrid soccer stadium, so I expect she'll send us pictures in due course.
our daughter Alison, plus husband Ed and their 3 teenage
children are on their way from Barcelona to Madrid today
the Real Madrid Football Club stadium,
which will be one of the highlights of Alison and family's
visit to Madrid, no doubt about that!
16:00 We struggle out of bed and look at our phones. It's always nice to keep up the local news from Gentofte, Denmark, the suburb of Copenhagen where Alison and family spent 6 years between 2012 and 2018.
It's quite a posh suburb, where a lot of the diplomats live, and it's pretty quiet most of the time, but occasionally the police have to deal with the odd petty crime or two, which is good, because otherwise the local constables wouldn't get any practice in their jobs now, would they! And the petty criminals are very inventive, which must be stimulating from the police's point of view.
This week a 59-year-old foreign national walked into the Coop grocery store on Jægersborg Allé, as you do, stashed two beer cans and a bag of crisps into his bag, and then went to the cash-desk where he paid for one additional can of beer. Nice try, sunshine! And I expect he was doing no more than introducing his own customer-initiative "three for one" offer, what you might call a BONATWYAT offer ("Buy One Nick Another Two While You're At It") scheme - and maybe the store will get the message and institute it officially next week - let's hope so anyway!
Denmark is way ahead of us, that's for sure - about most things, and even, it seems, when it comes to things like petty crime. I read a story last month about a man who rang up the butcher at a Meny mini-supermarket in Gentofte and ordered 8 veal tenderloins, asking the butcher to put them aside for him.
Later he dropped by and asked for the meat he'd ordered, and then he left the store with the meat, but without paying for it.
the Meny mini-supermarket in Gentofte where you can pre-order
by telephone the meat you're hoping to steal from there later in the day
Police were said in the report to be hunting for the man, who was said to be "of Middle Eastern appearance", but, be that as it may, is this the shoplifting of the future perhaps, that is being "road-tested" in Denmark? Far better than the conventional hit-and-miss method of shoplifting, when you don't know in advance what will be on display from one day to the next. If you think about for a while it all starts to make a lot of sense, suddenly, doesn't it - go on, admit it!
And back in August 2021, a new standard for acts of challenging surprise public nudity was set by a man who got stuck in a blackberry bush on a street in Gentofte, Ordrupvej, that Lois and I know well. Luckily police were able to "cut him out" without undue injury, so that was a relief!
flashback to August 2021: on Ordrupvej in Ordrup, Gentofte,
Copenhagen, a suburb Lois and I know well, a 19-year-old naked Danish man had to be
cut out of a blackberry bush by police after being spotted there by a passer-by
For weeks after reading about this incident, Lois and I became rather anxious on our daily walk round the local football field, especially when passing the prickly blackberry bushes on the New Barn Close and Laurel Drive sides. However we never once saw any nude men struggling to free themselves, so we decided in the end that this must be just "a Danish thing".
But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!
21:00 Lois emerges from her zoom session, taking part in a 90-minute Bible Seminar.
We wind down for bed with an old episode of the 1970's sitcom "Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads?", about two lads from Tyneside, Bob and Terry. It's the end of an era for the two pals, because in this episode Bob finally gets married to his fiancée Thelma.
We see Thelma getting ready for her big day, when she's going to be getting married to Bob. Thelma is expressing her worries to her bridesmaid that Terry, who's going to be Bob's best man, will somehow find a way of ruining the day for them. Oh dear!
Her bridesmaid then reminds her that she used to go out with Terry herself, back in the old days.
When the bridesmaid talks about her fantasy of being "ravaged" by beefy film-star Oliver Reed, dressed as a miner, Lois and I are guessing she means "ravished", but maybe this is just another part of the famous Tyneside or "Geordie" dialect. Let me know, won't you, if you're from that area. Drop me a line on a postcard, if you have a moment haha!
"Ravage" in this sense isn't it my handy Geordie dialect "cheat list", so please let me know won't you!
My Geordie cheat-list:
oo he was
gan propa radge - He was really angry
She's geet lush - she's very good looking
Calm doon - calm down
A right nebby bugga - a nosey person
was anly ten pund - it was only ten pound
Canny good like - good
Purely belta - really good
He's geet canny as oot - He's a really nice person
Are yee daft - are you stupid
Dee as ya telt - do as your told
Areet bonny lad - a polite way of saying hello
Me ma said - My mam said
Shooting and bawling - Arguing with someone
am gan to the toon - i'm going to Newcastle city
centre
I'm propa paggered - i'm really tired
Whey Aye Man - yes
a luv yee pet - I love you (talking to
your partner not your dog)
Cheers pet - thanks
Wor lass - my girlfriend
Wor lad - my boyfriend
Am gan hyem Pronounced 'yem' - i'm going
home
Howay man - come on!
Clamming for me bait - hungry for my food.
Giz a snout mate - Can I have a cigarette
Here man, he's giving is hackies - he's looking at me funny
Shy bairns get nowt - shy children get nothing
Divvent get is wrang pet - don't get me wrong
Areet wor kid? - slang term for hello
Giz a deek at that - let me have a look at
that (Please is frowned upon)
Haddaway & sh*te - Said in disbelief
[That's enough Geordie nonsense! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!
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