Danskcolin: Sunday March 2nd 2025 "Let's talk Mother's Day! Before it's too late haha!"

Good morning, my 'Colinketeers', if I may call you that - sorry for being a bit over-familiar (!), but today I want to talk to you a bit about Mother's Day, which, if you happen to live in the UK or Nigeria, is in only 4 weeks' time, on March 30th!

(UK out of step with most of the rest of the world, as usual, but I'm going to let that one slide for now !!!)

I want everybody in the UK to get Mother's Day right this year. Last year was a bit of a disaster, wasn't it. And I'm sure that, if, like me and Lois, you live in East Hampshire, you'll have seen the local Onion News headlines from last March - a few "eye-openers" there, weren't there!

Quite the shockers, those headlines, weren't they! But what those hard-working local Onion News journalists didn't mention was the tragedy - and no, I don't think that's too strong a word actually - of when your children don't live in the UK or Nigeria, and they post mothers their mother's day gift at entirely the wrong time of year, usually in May, would you believe - ridiculous, isn't it !!!!

So this morning, Yours Truly - batting for my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois, as per usual (!) - I make sure I mention to our lovely daughter Sarah, in our weekly whatsapp call to Australia at 9 am (5 pm Perth time), that our other daughter Alison, who lives 5 miles away from us in Headley, has invited Lois and me to lunch at a local pub for Mother's Day on March 30th, yes, March 30th, yes March 30th (!).

Hint hint !!!!

we speak this morning to our dear 'Australian' family

9000 miles away, and reduced to little images on

the tiny 6" x 2" screen of Lois's Huawei phone - sob, sob!

I didn't labour the Mother's Day point too unsubtly, needless to say, because I've got two more Sundays still remaining, on which to ram it home more and more harder [sic], so no panic - no panic yet, at least !!!

And I'm joking of course! I'm not that much of a crass idiot (!) [No hurry, but I'd like to see documentary evidence of that, Colin! - Ed]

No, it's another lovely whatsapp video call Lois and I have this morning, with our lovely "Australian" family, our daughter Sarah, plus husband Francis and their 11-year-old twins Lily and Jessica. I'm pleased to report.

We soon discover that they're calling us from their car, which is parked outside Toodyay Aquatic Centre north of Perth.

our daughter Sarah, plus husband Francis drove today the 70 miles from

their rental home in Eglinton on the Indian Ocean coast to

Toodyay Aquatic Centre: (right) all sensibly "hatted" to protect them

from the sun, we see Francis relaxing in the foreground,

while the girls "chew the fat" on a little wall in the pool, which is nice!

Yes, today they've all been trying to cool off in the swimming pool there, to escape the 105F heat (40C). And as Lois and I take pains to point out this morning, by contrast it was 27F (-3C) last night here in Liphook, Hampshire UK, although it may get up to the dizzy heights of 50F (10C) later today, if all goes well.

What a crazy planet we live on!!!!

our whatsapp video call with our daughter Sarah, husband Francis

and their 11-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, speaking to us

from their car parked in the Toodyay Aquatic Centre car-park

It's a bit of a rushed call - we gather that, after 6 months down under, the family is still on track to complete purchase of their first Australian home in about 3 weeks' time. That's if Aviva Insurance in Bristol, England, can bring themselves to release Francis's insurance or pension money or whatever it is (!). We should have a more relaxed call with the family tomorrow morning, as Sarah will be off work and at home for Western Australian Labour Day, which is nice.

The various Australian states don't all have Labour Day on the same day, Francis tells us. And Lois and I knew that when railways started to be built over there in the 19th century, different states chose different "gauges" (width of track) from each other, so that for long-distance travel you always had to change trains at the state border. Francis tells us today that even sign language (for the dear and hard-of-hearing) exists in two different versions over there, which seems particularly crazy.

two 19th century stamps featuring the head of Queen Victoria:

(left) the WA 10-shilling stamp and (right) the halfpenny NSW

All this lunacy stems from the fact that the various states were originally set up as separate British colonies, and only later, and grudgingly, did they agree to a union, so that Australia became a country.

What utter utter madness!!!!

Anyway, see you again tomorrow, guys!

flashback to September: we meet the family at the Royal Oak, Alcester,

and buy them a farewell Sunday lunch: the following day they were

on their way to London's Heathrow Airport for their flight to Perth, Australia

Meanwhile, here in Liphook, England, I'm happy to report that Lois's back had a better two days Thursday and Friday, and she was able to try a few things we'd avoided for a while (!). It's still in a sensitive state, however, and we made the decision yesterday not to drive to Petersfield for her church's Sunday Morning Meeting, and she's going to take part online instead.

If you had been here, which I don't recall that you were (!), you would have seen the rare sight of Yours Truly with my chopper out (!), helping to prepare the dinner. [You lazy bastard, Colin! - Ed]

19:00 We 'chill out' on the couch in the evening, but instead of our usual 'poncey' documentaries, we watch an exciting old black-and-white film "The Wicked Lady", and then a couple of variety shows, which is nice.

On "Wheeltappers", the 1970's series that tries to recreate the often rowdy atmosphere of a typical working-men's club in the North of England, it's nice tonight to see veteran entertainers Marion Ryan (mother of 1960's teen sensations Paul and Barry Ryan), and 1950's heart-throb tenor David Whitfield, each reprising some of their crowd-pleasing hits for the Saturday night 'crowd'.

tonight's star turns at 'Wheeltappers': (left) Marion Ryan, mother of

1960's teen sensations Paul and Barry (Ryan), singing "The More I See You",

and (right) ageing 1950's heartthrob tenor David Whitfield, with "Drink, Drink, Drink!"

It should have been a stunning evening, Lois and I think, but what a pity we have to endure stony-faced Club Chairman and Turn-Manager Colin Crompton's parochial "notices" to the club members in the audience, between the 'turns'. Did you notice some of them, or maybe, like many of the viewers, we suspect, did you pop out to put the kettle on while Crompton was making his mini-speeches?

Some of them tonight are thankfully short, like these:

"Give order please, all round the roo-ooom. Now, there's too much talking while I'm talking. If you've anything to say, wait till the turns are on".

Or this one: "There have been complaints of queue-jumping in the gents. This has got to stop. One of these days somebody is going to bash their heads on the ceiling."

This next 'notice' has hints of financial irregularity in the club's administration. Surely this one should have been omitted from public viewing, at least until the police investigation had been completed?

And finally, in this next long-winded 'notice', Colin shows his ignorance of the showbiz world by referring to somebody he calls American singer PJ Probably [sic] - maybe referring here to 1960's Texan heartthrob PJ Proby, Lois and I conjecture, but we're not 100% sure. Your suggestions please - but keep those postcards (and letters if you're feeling 'expansive' (!)) coming in!