Sunday November 8th 2020

Lois isn't well today, and had another bad night - something to do with her digestive system. We don't know the cause: we've rejected all theories based on our neighbour Bob's "blueleg" mushrooms, that we had for lunch yesterday, because I ate them too, and I'm ok. And we don't think it's a reaction to yesterday's flu jab, because Lois thinks the problem started on Friday. So the jury's still out on that one.

our neighbour Bob, with his soldier grandson

I text Sarah, our younger daughter, who lives in Perth, Australia, together with Francis and their 7-year-old twins. We normally speak to them on zoom on Sunday mornings, but I ask to postpone this until Lois is feeling a bit better. Later, Lois chooses not to take part in her sect's two worship services today, also on zoom.

Lois being out of action means I have to do my own lunch: after some thought I choose scrambled egg and chopped home-grown tomatoes on toast - one of my "signature dishes" haha.

14:00 We go to bed for a couple of hours. Eventually I get up, leaving Lois to sleep on. I see I've got a couple of emails from Steve, our brother-in-law in Pennsylvania USA, explaining some things about the US elections I didn't quite understand, which is nice. 

A lot of people were expecting a Biden landslide this week, which didn't come off, as we now know, despite his eventual victory. Apparently, according to the slate.com website,  the widespread confusion in the media resulted from a misunderstanding of leading haruspex Matthew Dessem's interpretation of various animal and bird livers and entrails, very much a fixture of US elections, and a custom which Lois and I didn't even know about, to be honest! 

It's also suggested, however, that Trump could still have swung the election if he had sacrificed his second-born, Eric, but although Eric hasn't been seen for a while, it's not clear that Trump took this step, so the jury's still out on that one. 

It seems that when, earlier in the week, Ntrailz’s Sacred Rooster had pecked the grains covering the letters “β,” “Ι,” and “Δ,” [the three Greek letters that start Joe Biden's last name - Ed] and excitedly told Rachel Maddow [not further identified] that this “absolutely guarantees a Biden 'blowout' [North American for "easy victory" - Ed],” Dessem was only speaking metaphorically on this occasion, it seems, which in hindsight now appears obvious, I have to say! 

The story comes as a timely reminder that the custom of divination by the examination of livers is still very much a living reality in the US electoral and political system, together with a number of other related practices. Witness the following recent story in Onion News, the influential American news website, on the stirring of the famous fiery cauldron: 

WASHINGTON—Participating in a time-honoured legislative ceremony that dates back centuries, the U.S. Congress reportedly convened in a secret session last night, meeting with elder conjurer of law High Priest Rothkarin to concoct a new federal farm bill.

According to reports, the gathering began at the stroke of midnight after all 535 members of Congress, dressed in black cloaks and chanting syllabic hymns, had entered the ancient catacombs beneath the Capitol Building, forming a circle around the fiery cauldron from which all measures subsidizing farming and agribusiness spring forth.

 "We summon the Dark Lords of Omnibus Food and Agricultural Legislation to bless this hallowed mixture of direct payment programs and corn-production incentives,” Rothkarin said as he stewed rotting mandrake roots and one strand of hair from Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack into the acrid broth of the bill, H.R. 697. “When the vapours grow red, we shall add the recourse loans for high-moisture feed grains.”

The story is also a timely reminder that Americans take a generally much more traditional approach to religion than we do in the UK, and they continue to tread many of "the old paths" that we've tended to forget about. 

But what a crazy world we live in, when poor Dessem's entrail-readings become so cruelly twisted by the "fake news" media. Maybe poor Trump was right after all !!!! 

Sheer madness!!!!

18:00 Time for another meal, so I pull out all the stops to make another of my "signature dishes": corn beet, boiled potatoes and frozen peas: yum yum!

20:00 We settle down on the sofa to watch a bit of TV, the camp comedian Julian Clary's presentation of the life and works of his idol, Noel Coward (1899-1973), a prolific writer of plays, books, and songs.

Presenter Julian Clary grew up in the same south London suburb as Coward, in Teddington, Surrey. Coward always projected an upper-class, cocktail-drinking, jet-setting image of himself, but he actually came from quite an ordinary middle-class background. Later in life Coward moved out to a grander house in the Kent countryside, "Goldenhurst", which presenter Clary himself now lives in.

Coward wrote hundreds of songs, including "I'll See You Again" and many more. I've always felt some kind of connection with him, for one reason only - he used to play the piano by ear, and always played everything in C major. This is the sensible thing to do in my view - it's the simplest way to impress people: it minimises having to play too many black notes (the sharps and flats), and people who don't play the piano themselves won't know the difference in any case - it's not rocket science !!!!!

At the beginning of the programme Clary takes us on a tour of "Goldenhurst", Noel's former house in Kent. He admits to having felt daunted when he first moved into the house. "When I first got the keys to this house, rather like Pamela Anderson on her first night with Tommy Lee, I realised I'd taken on something huge". What does he mean by that haha?!!

Noel Coward, seen here in the garden at "Goldenhurst" in the 1950's

Coward wrote the song "London Pride" celebrating the true grit of Londoners who had to live through the German bombing blitz in 1940, and he also appeared in many a morale-boosting British war film. 

However he also soon came in for a lot of criticism from the public for spending time away from the war, in the US, in 1940-41. What people didn't know was that Coward was at this time actually working under cover in Washington as a British spy, going to smart parties and trying to identify the Nazi agents that the town was allegedly "awash with". Coward had been recruited by William Stephenson, the head of British Intelligence and Security in America.

It's nostalgic in the programme to see some of the famous faces that collaborated with Coward over the years, including the model Twiggy, and also June Whitfield, who first worked with Coward in 1953, and who latterly played Edina's mother in the sitcom Absolutely Fabulous. Whitfield is now a little old lady, but as lively as ever.

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!