Danskcolin: Friday July 1st 2022

09:00 Can I say first how delighted I am to open yesterday's post, after the 24 hour compulsory quarantine mandated by my own inconsistent COVID precautions? [No, sorry, we haven't got time for that! - Ed]

Yes it's my Fathers Day present from mine and Lois's elder daughter Alison who lives in Headley, Hampshire with Ed and their 3 teenage children. Ali sent me an Amazon gift card - I didn't want to buy any "things" with it, because we're hoping to move house in the next couple of months, and in the downsizing process we're already going to have to throw half the contents of our house. So why buy more things and make the downsizing even more difficult than it's going to be already?

See? You know it makes sense haha !!!!

The pain of downsizing. Especially for Lois and me, who are much older than the couple in the picture above. Yes - there's no doubt: we've left it far too late to cope with downsizing, but we've got to do it anyway - YIKES !!!!!

But that's why I decided to buy, for my Fathers Day present, something consumable, and it's some Iced Coffee sachets, in the hope that some day soon we'll get some summery weather.

I step into the larder to showcase my this year's

Fathers Day present from our elder daughter Alison

Yes we must believe, people. We must believe that summer will come eventually. People say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us - but not for the next few weeks, as we're a bit busy planning our house move. Don't ring us, we'll ring you haha!

I love the thought of having Iced Coffee - it reminds me of happy days visiting our other daughter in Perth, Australia, which was where I rediscovered Iced Coffee.

flashback to April 2018: I sip my iced coffee at Cape Naturaliste

with our younger daughter Sarah (right) and her twins Lily and Jessica

- happy days!

Australia - that's one place where they know how to "do summer". Oh the memories.

11:15 Lois and I go out for our walk around the local football field. It's really cold and windy when we start, and then, when we sit down to have our hot chocolate and Smarties cookie, it becomes warm enough for me to risk taking my coat off - yikes! But by the time we finish our drinks and eats, it's raining again.

Lois gets our drinks and eats from the Whiskers Coffee Stand

as another elderly couple stroll by in the sudden sunshine

We have our hot chocolate drinks and Smartie cookies

on the so-called "Pirie Bench", and I risk taking my coat off.

But storm clouds are already gathering behind Lois - what madness!!!

What a crazy climate we live in !!!!!!!!

14:30 I'm a member of Lynda's local U3A Middle English group, and this afternoon it's time for the group's monthly meeting on zoom. We're reading a couple of 15th century poems, and each group member has been allocated about 20-25 lines to read out in a fake 15th century accent and then translate into Modern English.

Unfortunately a lot of the members can't take part this afternoon for one reason or another, so the rest of us have got to work twice as hard. Ant and Barbara, a married couple, are both away in North Yorkshire, and Margaret's internet connection has gone down. And Cynthia is trying to connect, and we can both see and hear her, but she can't hear us, so in the end poor Cynthia has to give up and log off .

Why are there always these problems like this with zoom and skype?

The rest of us try to give Cynthia hints on how to put things right her end, first by a load of stupid hand gestures and then finally with Lynda speaking to her over the phone.

Every month, it seems, somebody or other can't see or hear, or can't be seen or can't be heard.

What a madness it all is !!!!!

(top row) Lynda, me, and Joe, (bottom row) Joy and Cynthia:

Lynda is on the phone to Cynthia because Cynthia can't hear what

anybody's saying - what madness !!!!!

after about 20 minutes Cynthia gives up and the remaining

four of us have to struggle on without her - poor us !!!!!

We have a lot of fun anyway, when we get down to the actual medieval poems. One of the most common words in the two poems is "meed", which in those crazy far-off times meant "a reward" in its good sense, and "a bribe" in its not-so-good sense. But all four of us agree that this word has completely died out in Modern English, although Lynda says it was recently used in the US in somebody's speech to Congress, I think she said.

Isn't it funny how many words that have died out in British English are still being used in the States, or still being used in their original sense? And vice versa of course.

After the meeting, however, I check on the graph of how often this word "meed" is being used in the US, and I don't think that the stats look all that healthy to me - I think the word is on its death-bed there as well. And I for one won't be mourning its passing - we've got far too many words already in the English language - it's time for a bit of downsizing here as well, I think.

So farewell then, "meed" word. [Phrase copyright: teenage poet E.J. Thribb]

Here's one of EJ Thribb's poems who is best known for his classic "So farewell then" series (for VIPs that had just died) but also for his acclaimed "So hello again" series, for VIPs that had just been dug up.

And unlike the word "meed", poet EJ Thribb's popularity seems to be on the up, which is surprising.

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!!

16:30 The zoom session ends, and Lois and I have a cup of tea and a currant bun and another session on the couch with the puzzles from next week's edition of Radio Times.

But it's an emotional roller-coaster again as we produce one of our best ever results on Popmaster - 5 out of 10.

But then just as we start to feel pleased with ourselves, we strike out majorly on "Eggheads", a puzzle which we used to get very high marks on.

But is this our fault? We don't think it is. There are far too many questions in Eggheads about popular culture these days for some reason. And why is this? We think it's time that we were told. It would clear the air a bit, if nothing else, no doubt about that.

20:00 We watch the fourth programme in the new series of "Art Mysteries", which is all about "The Arnolfini Marriage" by Dutch painter Jan van Eyck.

Tonight presenter Waldemar Januszczak (crazy name, crazy guy!) gives his usual down-to-earth view of this rather puzzling painting.

"The Arnolfini Marriage" by Jan Van Eyck (1434)

Jan van Eyck's "Arnolfini Marriage" is all a bit miserable as paintings go, isn't it. Mrs Arnolfini is obviously very pregnant, and yet there isn't the atmosphere of happy expectation in the image, to put it mildly. They both look slightly gloomy, no doubt about that.

So what's going on?

Waldemar enlists the aid of art historian Margaret Koster to help him, and us, to look at the picture afresh.

For a start, in those far-off days, pregnancy wasn't a wholly joyous event, to put it mildly. It was also a time of extreme danger. The chances of the woman dying in childbirth were high, and Margaret Koster thinks that this is probably what happened to poor Mrs Arnolfini.

Behind the couple on the wall is a mirror, with scenes from the suffering of Christ portrayed around the outside of it.

If you look carefully, the little vignettes around the left-hand side of the mirror (Mr A.'s side) are all scenes of the living, whereas the ones on the right-hand side (Mrs A.'s side) are all of the dead.

Also, if you look at the candles in the candelabra above, on the left-hand side, where Mr A. stands, there's a candle that's lit, and whereas the corresponding one on the right hand side, above Mrs A., is unlit.

See? Simples, isn't it!

No wonder they both look so miserable!!! Mrs A must have died in childbirth, and her husband must have asked Jan van Eyck to paint this picture as a posthumous memorial to a beloved wife.

Now, suddenly, it all starts to make sense, doesn't it!

See? Simples, isn't it! [You've done that one several times already! - Ed]

21:00 Thank God it's Friday. I know we've been retired for 16 years, but it's still nice to know that solicitors, for example, won't be working tomorrow so won't be ringing us up.

We celebrate with peppermint Aero chocolate bars and a gin and tonic.

21:15 We wind down with a couple of episodes of the old 1970's-1980's sitcom "Butterflies", all about bored, middle-aged Cheltenham housewife Ria, who does the shopping and cooking for her grumpy and unromantic husband Ben, and their two selfish and lazy teenage sons, Adam and Russell.

Ria's unfulfilling and uninspiring life as a housewife is normally enlivened by the attentions of her would-be lover, Leonard, a rich local businessman, but Leonard has been away working in New York for the last 6 months. In this episode he is back in Cheltenham, although just on a short break, Lois and I think.

However it's nice, tonight, to see Ria and Leonard meeting up again for another of their platonic llunch-hour meetings, this time at Pittville Park, in front of the early 19th century Pump Room, which Lois and I know well. Ria, however, is still anxious in case somebody sees them together.

And it's cosy also to see Ria at home in the evening, with husband Ben, in a scene reminiscent of mine and Lois's own dear home life, to put it mildly.

Ria is doing the Daily Telegraph crossword, and worrying about the fact that she can no longer see it properly without her glasses, and so has to squint, putting extra lines into her face.

"Oh God, I hate growing old!", she says. "Lines, glasses... what next, I wonder!"