Danskcolin: Monday July 22nd 2024 "Would YOU turn down the chance of a seat in the Royal Box?"

Are you, like most people at the moment, utterly "hooked" on Channel 5's version of the shocking CBS drama "Black Gardens"?

A lot of us are, aren't we, but my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are finding the soap's non-stop diet of shock revelations a bit too much for our sanity and general peace of mind these days! Are we going soft? Are we getting old? [Yes and Yes! - Ed].

It's even getting too much for local fan-of-the-show Pete Taylor from nearby Lickey End, so we know we're not the only ones! [Source: Onion News West Worcestershire Edition]

What a cliff-hanger! And Lois and I think of this story this morning, when it comes to our own turn to make some "shock revelations", that's for sure!

This last weekend was a bit of a family reunion for us here in Malvern, Worcestershire, because our 2 dear daughters, Alison (48) and Sarah (47) have been spending time here with their families. Did you maybe see this picture of our Saturday evening "tea" all together, right here on my blog a couple of days ago?

flashback to Saturday evening, and our family "reunion" of sorts,

here at mine and Lois's house in Malvern: our 2 dear daughters

Alison (48) and Sarah (47) (ringed), together with their families.

My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois is seated extreme left

Today, Sarah is back at work at her accountancy firm in Evesham, and so it's just Alison and family who are spending time with us. However, Sarah has finally authorised Lois and me to give Alison and family some bombshell news about her plans, that she wants to share.

"And just what are those 'shock revelations' that you and Lois have had to make to Alison and family today, Colin?", I hear you cry. [Not me, I don't care! - Ed]

Well, seeing as how you're asking (!), this is the gist of it....

...as you know, Sarah and family decided to move back to the UK in 2023 after 7 years in Australia, saying that they wanted to buy a house here, with our help. They would then be in a position to look after Lois and me in our declining years.

flashback to March 2023, Western Australia: our son-in-law Francis

"trains" the twins for facing the rigours of the damp English climate

Sarah had been offered her old job back, in Evesham, and the family's preferred location to buy a house was Malvern - nearish to Sarah's workplace and an area that Sarah's husband Francis was particularly fond of, he said. So Lois and I sold our large house in Cheltenham in the autumn of 2022, and bought a much smaller, new-build home here in Malvern, in the process "downsizing", and getting rid of several ton-loads of our furniture, books, treasured ornaments etc.

flashback to May 2023: Sarah and family arrive back in the UK

after 7 years in Australia, and spend time with Lois and me

in our newly-purchased, tiny new-build home here in Malvern

The shock news today, however, is that Sarah and family have decided to go back to Australia.

"They've what??????", I hear you cry! [Again, not me! - Ed]

Yes, the facts are that Sarah has received an attractive job offer in the Perth area. And the whole family is flying down there on September 1st and Sarah starts work on September 7th.

It all kind of makes sense: Francis hasn't really settled here in England, and he hankers after "Oz", and Sarah's job here in Evesham has turned out to be more stressful than she expected. The Australian job will be working for a manufacturing firm as their chief accountant, whereas with her job here in Evesham she was working for an actual accountancy firm, so that she has had to deal with a lot of different clients, many of them very demanding.

So all well and good - a move back to Australia should satisfy all the family's needs.

There's one piece left in the jigsaw, however. Who's going to look after Lois and me in our declining years ?!!! We're fully house-trained, so all offers gratefully received - on postcards only please haha!

elderly but polite, fully-house-trained couple

needing looking after. Can YOU help - haha ?!!!!

Anyway, these shock revelations give us lots to talk about this morning, as Lois and I go for a challenging (for me) walk over the 700-million-year-old 1400ft (425m) high Malvern Hills, with Sarah's sister Alison (who until today knew nothing about Sarah's shock upcoming move back to Australia) and Alison's family - husband Ed and 2 of their 3 children: Rosalind (16) and Isaac (13).

It's a challenging walk for me, because I'm still "running in" my shiny new hip (with strict instructions not to exceed 60 mph), the hip that was "installed" in my body at Redditch's Alexandra Hospital 3 months ago, back in April.

Lois and I take a walk (challenging for me because of my

shiny new hip) along the tops of the 1400 ft high Malvern Hills,

with our daughter Alison, her husband Ed,

and 2 of their 3 children: Rosalind and Isaac

It's a hauntingly nostalgic walk for Lois and me, because we had a walking holiday here before we were married, back in 1971 after I'd just returned from my study year in Japan, and we were "getting to know each other again". And we did it again in August 2002 to celebrate our "Pearl Wedding" (30th anniversary).

flashback to 1971: Lois and me before we got married, spending

a week in Malvern to "get to know each other again"

after I came back from my study year in Tokyo, Japan

the hotel where Lois and I spent a secluded weekend

celebrating our Pearl Wedding (30th anniversary) in 2002

Happy days !!!!!

12:00 But back to 2024!

And we all come back to the house after our walk, and have lunch on the patio. Ed has a work call scheduled for 3pm - he's a hotshot lawyer working for some of the UK's railway companies, ones which, incidentally, are earmarked for renationalisation under our new Labour government - yikes!

Lois and I don't think that Ed has any fears for his future employment, however. At his sort of level, new jobs come along like No.19 buses - "There'll be another one along in a minute", as the now-vanished bus-conductors used to say. Remember when there were conductors on buses? Those were the days!

flashback to the 1950's: a no. 19 bus

with a conductor on the platform

He and Ali definitely don't have any financial worries, to put it mildly. They have just sanctioned builders to make massive alterations to their crumbling Victorian mansion in Headley, Hampshire, and they are even planning to "buy up" and "incorporate" "the mansion next door" (as you do), when its elderly owners themselves downsize , as predicted.

Ed in our kitchen this afternoon, "working from home",

while showcasing for Lois and me his lavish plans for the extension

of the family's crumbling Victorian mansion in Hampshire

What a crazy world we live in!!!

21:00 Lois and me, on our own again after Alison and family go back to their hotel in central Malvern, decide to go to bed on a retrospective of the career of the late Australian comedian Barry Humphries, and his alter ego, ordinary Melbourne housewife Edna (later "Dame" Edna) Everage.

Barry, and his persona Dame Edna, moved from Melbourne to London in the 1960's, and he/she was quickly hobnobbing not just with royalty but also with satirists and comedians such as Peter Cooke, Dudley Moore etc, eventually getting his own Saturday night chat show.

A fascinating programme with lots of clips of Dame Edna being cheeky, and getting away with it, while interviewing both royalty and also countless celebrities.

Like, for instance, when Dame Edna suddenly "invaded" the royal box at the theatre a few years back:

Or look at this 1988 clip, where Barry was invited onto Terry Wogan's Saturday night chat-show, and met fellow guests Donald and Diana Trump.

In tonight's programme, Jonathan Ross, no mean chat-show host himself, attempts to explain how Dame Edna got away with her rudeness and her cheek, time after time.