Amazon - the online retailer. A lot of people, especially we older folk, are suspicious of it, aren't we, and in particular, suspicious of its near-monopolistic grip on many sectors of the market.
So it's nice, occasionally, to see that Amazon is sometimes thinking of all us "old codgers". Did you see this story in Onion News this week?
As far as Lois and I are concerned, our main "beef" against Amazon is, as I've said in this blog many times before, the fact that they always deliver our "stuff" to a poor old couple living in Avenue Road, which is about a mile away from here.
Avenue Road, Malvern, home to the lovely old couple,
the unlucky recipients of all our misdelivered Amazon purchases
We have many, many times, told their chatbots about this repeated "snafu" by Amazon, but the chatbots obviously don't think that Lois and I are important enough in the grand scheme of things, because nothing gets done about the problem. And "Flatpack Jim", who assembles our IKEA purchases for us, and who used to work as an Amazon delivery guy, says that once a mistake like this is made, some sort of machine in the driver's cab - maybe a prototype of their newly unveiled "giant camera that tells you what to do" - ensures that the driver misdelivers a given user's purchases to that same incorrect address until the end of time, or till Amazon goes bust, whichever comes first.
But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!
Still at least the problem gets us out of the house, because we collect our Amazon purchases from a local post-office about a mile away, and it gives us an excuse to have a coffee and a slice of cake in the café across the street from the post office, which is nice.
us this morning, having collected our
Amazon purchases from the local post office
"What items exactly did you get delivered today?", I hear you cry. [Not me! - Ed]
Well, before you rush to say "Not me", just pause a moment, because didn't somebody once say, "You can tell a lot about people from what they order from Amazon" ?
[You've just made that quote up, haven't you, Colin! - Ed]
And if you don't believe me, just look at some of these "doozies" !!!!
First up, my shiny-new double glasses-holder to keep on my bedside "night-stand", and, needless to say, when I unwrap it, it's got that "new glasses-holder-smell" that drives women wild, which is nice!
One side of this double holder will house my glasses and the other side will be home to those vital "must have within arm's reach" items that I sometimes need at night - my tube of Soothers, some Rennies, a pen, a comb and the feather off my "poncey" medieval scholar's hat, that I can use to tickle Lois with if the need arises, e.g.to wake her up when I've been getting a cup of tea or anything else I've got for her haha 😄.
Other items collected today show Lois's passion for the "outdoor" side of life: a handy extendable 8 ft wooden clothes-line prop, and a bag of farmyard manure: all you need for a satisfying life in the fresh air. And Lois wastes no time in trying the two products out - not simultaneously, obviously (!).
scene from late morning: Lois tries out her shiny-new wooden
8 ft clothes-line prop, while her new 40-litre bag of farmyard manure
waits patiently on the table (foreground) for use later this afternoon
Yes, it's been quite a dull campaign by both main parties, marked by some incredible gaffes on the Tories' part, and it's hard to get excited over any of the party leaders. Some brave person from "Very British Problems" group in my Facebook feed has tried to inject a bit of humour into the proceedings, for which I'm grateful, and I show Lois this post at lunchtime today:
I give Lois a smile at lunchtime today with this imagined poster
from my friends in the Facebook "Very British Problems" group
Steve, our American brother-in-law, sent me this cheering commentary from one Brit:
This is turning out to be quite a slow-moving drama, but it keeps Lois and me interested through its amusing dialogue, and because, infuriatingly, we still don't know what Douglas's "sexist joke" was. He claims he doesn't remember telling the joke, and the twitter person who "broke" the story isn't saying either.
"After 14 years with the Conservatives in charge, the economy has stagnated, the country has torn itself apart over Brexit, and just about everyone is fed up with the status quo. As Britons head to the polls today, my nation is expecting a landslide for Labour.
"And yet, almost no one in my country can bring themselves to get excited about Election Day.
"“Why does it feel so boring?” asked a recent headline of the vote. The electorate—or at least those in England —are much more interested in the Euros. England is playing Switzerland in the quarterfinals, though thankfully not on polling day but two days later....
...The lesson in all this? No amount of hijinks will move Britain ’s stiff upper lip. They’d rather elect Keir Starmer, a former lawyer whose voice will put you to sleep. Maybe that’s what we need right now, but I’ll miss “total coke addict” Rishi Sunak and his rendezvous with “ Britain ’s most tattooed mum.”
Prime Minister Rishi Sunak (right) tries to inject some excitement
into this rather dull 2024 General Election campaign, by featuring
this meeting with "Britain's most-tattooed mum" [Sky News]
Well, we'll see tomorrow morning. [Thanks, Colin, I didn't realise that (!) - Ed]
21:00 We go to bed on Episode 2 of the fascinating drama "Douglas is Cancelled" on ITV, all about news-anchor-cum-national treasure Douglas, played by Downton Abbey's Hugh Bonneville, who has started to get a roasting on social media for an alleged "sexist joke" that he's supposed to have told at a wedding a few weeks earlier.
And the whole saga is turning into a battle of wills between Douglas's wife Sheila, and his co-presenter, Madeleine, on his morning news show, who Sheila says "constantly manipulates him". Both women want to be the ones to "coach" Douglas in advance of his forthcoming appearance at the prestigious Hay-on-Wye Literary Festival.
Douglas is in the festival programme as down to be interviewed on stage at Hay, and - shock, horror - his interviewer has been switched at the last minute. It'll now be conducted by "a woman journalist from Newsnight, prominent in the feminist movement" - again identity unknown. Yikes - poor Douglas !!!!!
In this scene, Douglas phones his wife Sheila and asks if he should cancel his appearance at Hay. And Sheila is dismissive of the suggestion, to put it mildly.
Poor Douglas !!!!!
The "bombshell" at the end of tonight's programme is that Douglas's co-presenter Madeleine, has somehow let it slip that "it wasn't a sexist joke, it was a sexist story about me!"
Yikes, Lois and I can't see Douglas's marriage to Sheila surviving this furore except in complete tatters.
Poor Douglas (again) !!!!!!
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!!
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