Lois has to spend even more time today trying to get young-and-vague preachers to commit to coming and preaching at her sect's local meeting-hall. It takes so long, and when they don't respond to emails and texts it's very frustrating for her.
A few days ago we had the bright idea that these vague young men, seemingly always fascinated by their mobile phones, might respond more promptly to a text with an attached list of vacant Sundays, but we find her phone doesn't readily allow you to attach files to texts for some reason. On my phone you just press a big addition sign, but we can't find such a sign on her phone, but it's a Chinese phone: maybe that's why. But what a crazy world we live in!
a typical Chinese mobile phone (not Lois's!)
typical "plus" signs, of the sort that can be used to attach files to texts on my phone
So far today, after about 5 hours' work, she's only managed to get one preacher, a guy called David, to commit to a date next April,
And - wouldn't you know it - David isn't one of the young-but-vague crowd, he's almost as old as we are, which is saying something: my god!
David, an old-but-not-so-vague Cornishman
Lois has a personal connection with this guy, David. He used to be a student in Oxford, and both Lois and I lived in Oxford, still both living at home with our parents. In the late 1960's my mother had a habit of inviting students to our house in the Oxford suburbs to give them a bit of tea and some family-style company, although I don't think my father was that keen on the idea.
Lois and I were engaged at that time, so young David met both me and Lois. He also met my sister Gill, and we suspected he had a bit of a "thing" for her, which I don't think was reciprocated, although we were all very fond of him. David comes from Cornwall (Redruth), and he taught me several Cornish dialect words: the only one Lois and I still use is "boughten" as an adjective, e.g. "a boughten cake", so not a cake that was baked in the home, but one bought in a shop.
Fascinating stuff !!!!
But what a shock it is to see the face of somebody that you last saw as a young man but who is now in his late 60's perhaps.
17:30 I do a bit more work on my Middle English text. Lynda's U3A Middle English group is holding its monthly meeting on Friday on zoom, and the text we are reading is the 15th century "Book of Margery Kempe", the first ever autobiography by a woman in the English language.
Margery and her husband John had a very passionate sex-life when they were younger, and continuing into their 50's.
However, now that John is in his 60's the couple have agreed to a temporary sex-ban, partly because Margery is feeling guilty about what the couple got up to in the past, and also because she's thinking she ought to spend a bit of time concentrating on her religious devotions, at least for a while.
Margery and John Kempe - a passionate marriage,
but did they go too far? Margery is beginning to feel guilty: oh dear!
To keep the sex-ban John and Margery decide to live apart and eat apart for a while, to avoid temptation, and unfortunately John falls downstairs while Margery is elsewhere. The neighbours hear the commotion, burst into the house, put John to bed, and try to fix his head and mop up the blood etc. My god!!!!
a typical scene that can ensue if somebody barelegged falls downstairs
It's interesting that the Kempe's neighbours are now saying that if John dies, then Margery ought to be hanged, for not looking after her husband. What madness! But it shows what a tough time wives had in those far-off days, that's for sure!
"So [the neighbours] came in to him and found him... half dead and covered in blood.... they sent for his wife, and so she came to him. Then John was picked up off the floor, and his head was stitched up.... and then people said that if he died, his wife [i.e. Margery] deserved to be hanged, because she should have been looking after him and wasn't. [The couple] were not dwelling together, nor lying together, because they .... had vowed to live chastely".
Poor Margery! Luckily John recovers although he soon becomes incontinent, but that's a story for another day haha!
But what a crazy world they lived in, in those far-off times!!! What madness !!!!
18:00 We look at a video of Chet Atkins singing with the Everly Brothers, while the dinner is being finalised. I wonder if anybody has noticed how like George W Bush guitarist Chet Atkins looks!
I wonder if perhaps they are related? We don't know, but we think we should be told !!!!!
guitarist Chet Atkins
George W Bush
19:00 Lois disappears into the dining-room to take part in her great-niece Molly's yoga class on zoom, followed by her sect's weekly Bible Seminar, also on zoom.
I settle down on the couch and watch another old episode of the 1990's sitcom "The Brittas Empire", which revolved round Whitbury New Town Sports and Leisure Centre, and its well-meaning and idealistic, but unpopular manager, Gordon Brittas.
Chaos and mayhem again at the Leisure Centre - no surprise there, but there are some little gems. Like, for instance, when an 8-year-old boy is arrested by manager Gordon Brittas for trying to get into the swimming pool without buying a 20p ticket.
The boy's father, a member of the town's historical society, which is staging a mock-battle with the Carthaginians outside the centre today, comes bursting into Brittas's office, dressed as a Roman centurion, to protest against the detention of his son.
Brittas responds by giving the boy's father a textbook definition of the centuries-old "right of citizen arrest", which is nice.
"When an arrestable offence has been committed, any person may arrest, without warrant, anyone who is guilty of an offence, or, anyone he has reasonable grounds to suspect of a criminal offence".
The boy's father is not impressed however. And later the rest of his "Roman cohort", plus a bunch of "Carthaginians", arrive at the centre with authentic Roman scaling ladders and a ballista, in an attempt to force Brittas to release the man's son.
I don't know who the series's historical adviser was, but the attack looks thoroughly authentic from this reviewer's perspective, no doubt about that!
Soon the attackers are marshalling their scaling ladders, but this attack is thwarted by gung-ho staff member Linda who boldly seizes a long pole and pushes the ladder, plus centurions, to the ground from the second floor.
Finally the attackers deploy their ballista, and this wins the day for them.
Centre manager Brittas rings the local police to report
that the "Romans" are firing engine-blocks from Morris Marinas.
Brittas and unflappable deputy-manager Laura inspect the damage
in the centre's lobby area
Tremendous fun !!!!!!
21:00 Lois emerges from her two zoom sessions and we settle down to watch an interesting documentary on the life and career of Frank Sinatra.
The famous sequence in "The Godfather", where a young singer begs for help from the Mafia to secure a film role, was actually a thinly disguised account of Sinatra getting the role he badly wanted in From Here to Eternity, thanks to pressure from "The Mob".
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!
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