Lois has promised her friend and fellow-sect-member Ursula that we'll be visiting her this morning, calling in at around 11 am, which on paper should give us plenty of time, although we struggle to get there - oh dear, we're definitely slowing up, that's for sure!
We're keen to visit her this week, because we know her daughter Rachel in Witney isn't able to come at all this week.
three possible routes we could take to Ursula's house:
we choose the 27-minute 9.2 mile route, because it's the least annoying.
Yes, we like to maximise our own pleasure now we're 75 -
well, why not haha!!!!
She's a lovely person to talk to, with a wicked sense of humour. And that's my advice - make sure you don't lose your sense of humour, no matter what life throws at you!
We don't take a photo of her today - we don't want her to feel like she's an object of curiosity, but we still have the one we took about 2 months ago on an earlier visit.
flashback to August/September: the photo we took of Ursula
on a previous visit.
Keep laughing, Ursula. Laugh and the world laughs with you, that's what Lois and I like to say!
We really needed to do a drive today, and not just because we haven't used the car since last Friday for a piddling little drive to and from Specsavers in town.
I also need to keep my driving skills and instincts up-to-date. Today I dithered, in geriatric style, at the notorious mini-roundabout in Churchdown - you know, the one near the Clip and Ping hairdressers: I waited for a car on Station Road to move first, even though I had the priority (coming from Church Road). Is that the first sign of the dangerously ageing driver, I wonder?
the mini-roundabout that was the scene of my first-ever geriatric
dithering moment: waiting for a car (orange arrow) coming from my left to move,
even though I (blue arrow) had the priority - oh dear!
our 13-year-old granddaughter Rosalind's
eye-catching banana and chocolate chip slices
Lois's equivalent: she offers me a bit
...and there's more where that came from!
..with a cup of tea: perfick!
And yes, it's official - I'm the best dad ever haha!
[I'll need some documentation before I accept that claim! - Ed]
Anyway the big thing about today is that we actually got out of the house, drove about 19 miles, and actually talked to somebody in the flesh other than to each other, viz: to Ursula and to her "befriender", which is nice!
How narrow our lives have become!!!!
19:30 Lois disappears into the dining-room to take part in her sect's monthly Business Meeting on zoom. I settle down on the couch and watch an old episode of the 1990's sitcom, "The Brittas Empire", which centres on the life of a provincial sports and leisure centre, and on its manager, the well-meaning but uncharismatic and unpopular manager, Gordon Brittas.
Episode synopsis: Attempting to impress his visiting daughter, Colin pretends to be manager of the centre while Brittas takes the day off; all goes well until Brittas unexpectedly turns up. A pornographic magazine featuring an explicit photo of Helen is found, which she prevents Brittas from seeing.
There's plenty of action in tonight's episode, first screened in January 1994. Leisure centre manager Gordon Brittas has the day off, so deputy manager, the accident-prone Colin Weatherby takes the opportunity to pretend to be the manager so that he can impress his illegitimate daughter Stephanie, who is visiting from Hobart, Tasmania.
Colin has made elaborate preparations for his day of deception, including having his own "manager" nameplate made, and various displays put on the walls, including commemorative plaques and a photo of himself allegedly being presented to the Duchess of Kent, which is a nice touch.
He is also seen in a suit, for the first time ever, and he has made an effort to "tone down" some of his many skin complaints, which is a good idea.
deputy manager (dry) Laura is suspicious on seeing Colin
apparently sitting at manager Gordon's desk. And she's
quick to spot the fake nameplate on the desk
Colin's fake nameplate
a photo of Colin apparently being presented to the Duchess of Kent
Colin has also had a fake plaque put up on the wall of the leisure centre,
and his illegitimate Australian daughter Stephanie is suitably impressed
- no doubt about that !!!!
Meanwhile staff are cleaning up the centre after a visit by some unruly seniors on a Saga excursion, who have left behind various forgotten belongings, including a set of dentures and a pornographic magazine "Plaything". And it's interesting to see that the magazine's 1994 cover has had to be "pixelled out" to protect the sensibilities of the 2021 audience.
What madness!
"Plaything" features a "readers' wives" section, where, according to the magazine, "our randy readers send in their saucy snaps". Of course leisure centre staff take the opportunity to leaf through the magazine and they find a picture of manager Gordon's wife Helen.
While staff are exploring the magazine, Mrs Brittas herself comes in, and finds out about her picture, which she says was sent in not by her husband Gordon but by an admirer - probably her alleged "bedridden Uncle Simon", staff believe.
flashback to Helen in happier times; getting herself ready
to visit her "poor, bedridden Uncle Simon"
Chaos ensues when Gordon himself unexpectedly calls in at the leisure centre, so that he can return a leisure centre ball-point pen that he had inadvertently taken away with him in his pocket.
Helen quickly tears out the magazine page with her picture on, but can't bring herself to destroy it. As she says, she hasn't achieved much in her life so far, and she just wants something she can keep to show her grandchildren some day, which is understandable.
Gordon's wife first decides to destroy the page of "Plaything" magazine
with her picture on, but thinks better of it - because it's "something
to show the grandchildren some day". Oh dear!
This is an unfortunate decision, however, i.e. to keep the picture, because it gets mixed up with a kitten that Gordon is returning to receptionist Carole, and as the episode ends, all is about to be revealed. Oh dear!
Poor Helen !!!!!!
As usual, however, the episode ends on a positive note, with Colin's Australian daughter Stephanie being driven away by her father, thoroughly impressed by her visit to the leisure centre. And as she told Gordon, her father had inspired her to become a leisure centre manager herself, out in Tasmania, which is nice.
She takes with her something Colin once said to her, apparently, "Ask not what your leisure centre can do for you, ask only what you can do for your leisure centre", which is kind of inspiring, you have to admit! Who would have thought that mangy old Colin would have had a bit of poetry in him! Never write anybody off, that's the moral !!!!
Tremendous fun!
21:00 Lois emerges from her sect's business meeting, and we watch an old episode of "The Good Life" before turning in for an early night.
22:00 Zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!
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