Friends, are YOU getting ready for "Burns Night"? Well, it's only not much more than a week away now, isn't it. And even if you're not Scottish, you've probably got some friends or distant relatives up there - am I right? Or am I right?!
Even famous film-star Keira Knightley, who was born not far away from here, at Teddington, on the Middlesex/Surrey border, has relatives in Scotland, according to this morning's local Onion News. Did you see the article?
And my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I won't be surprised to read, in next week's local "Onion", that the Hayes and Knightley spent Burns Night together maybe, and that there was perhaps even a bit of "Rumble D Thump" going on (!).
But we'll see - so watch this space! Lois and I sometimes bump into Hayes when we're shopping at the nearby Sandy Balls shopping centre, so you may well hear it first here haha!
Lois and I aren't Scottish, but we like dressing up in the costumes and we like the "nosh", plus we feel sorry for Burns after all the recent stories of him being "downgraded" in Scotland in the interests of "diversity". What a madness all that was !!!
M&S Haggis has already gone down on our Ocado shopping list for delivery next Monday, plus Lois has been "road-testing" her kilt today, so all you "downgraders", even those of you living down here in rural East Hampshire, better watch out - we know where you live haha!
Today is the day EE promised us that our broadband service would start, and surprisingly for me, I managed to get it to work unaided. I didn't have to phone EE's helpdesk or even make a telephonic call-for-help to Ed, our hotshot lawyer son-in-law, who lives with our daughter Alison and their teenage offspring about 5 miles from here, in nearby Headley.
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Call this series a bunch of the more obvious labels: yes, it's repetitive, smug, predictable, mind-numbingly dull, even (!). But you've got to admit that, on occasion, these old codgers come out with some wonderful pieces of life-wisdom, the fruits of their long lives.
Fabulous stuff, isn't it! [If you say so! - Ed]
(left) Lois "road-testing" her kilt today ahead of next week's
Burns Night, and (right) excerpt from our Ocado shopping list for Monday
Incidentally there was a potentially embarrassing story about Lois and me further back in today's "Onion" - but you'd have had to have "thumbed" your way right back to page 94. And you may have lacked not just the "thumb power" but the motivation even (!), to get to it (!).
It WOULD be an embarrassing story for most couples, but Lois and I are actually quite proud of it - people are focussing on the "saucy side" of it, we know - the fact that Lois's kilt somehow "dropped off" in the course of this afternoon.
To us, however, it's a badge of honour. It shows how much weight we've lost, both of us actually, since Burns Night last year. Even I've had to get to know previously unknown, and unused, "extreme super thin" notches on my trouser belts, which is a satisfying achievement, to put it mildly (!).
Incidentally, did you notice the little blue light in the bottom left hand corner of that picture of Lois "road-testing" her kilt today?
flashback to Burns Night 2024: with the main course of "Rumble D Thumps" in our "tums",
we settle down to a "sinful" dessert of Cranachans with lashings of double cream -
we've both lost at least a full half stone since then, which is nice
This is what I'm talking about - see below:
(left) our shiny new broadband 'smart hub" from EE, now showing
blue light, indicating our service has finally started - hurrah!
Initially, while I was setting it up, there was a slight delay, during which I thought that EE must have sent us a "duff" hub, because when I first plugged it in, it seemed like the light wasn't working on it. Eventually I realised that I had positioned the hub upside-down, and that was why I couldn't see the hub's flashing blue light, the light which indicates that it's "trying to connect you".
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the EE smart hub - don't repeat MY mistake - easily made -
of assuming that this is the important side, just because it's got
all the useful "connection holes" (!) - the actual "display itself
is on the opposite side - the hub looks "smarter" that way, I guess!
But what madness !!!!
And that little "hiccup" doesn't embarrass me, incidentally, and I'm happy to share the experience of my little "snafu" with you, just in case the same thing happens to you some day. We can't all be "tech super-wizards", like for instance Elon Musk, or Jeremy Clarkson and his other "Top Gear" friends, after all !!!!
20:00 We unwind for bed with another re-run episode of the world's longest-running sitcom, "Last of the Summer Wines", all about the adventures of a set of old codgers finding ways to amuse themselves in a lovely old village in the Yorkshire Dales.
Like in this scene tonight, where Norman "Cleggy" Clegg gives words of encouragement to his friend Howard, who, as usual, has been detailed to clean the front windows by his shrewish wife Pearl.
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!
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