If you live in East Hampshire, like, "for our sins" (!), my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I do, I bet you're glad that those awful post-Christmas fogs have gone, now that we're well into the New Year? And no more so than local elite commando Major Teddy "Sandman" Hawthorne, who's lost most of his best men in the great fogs over the 3 weeks since the middle of December.
It was in the Daily Mail, I know, but see this significantly harder-hitting local Onion News report, which paints a still more horrific picture, to put it mildly! And by the way, it's all highly classified, needless to say, so don't spread it around - it'll just give comfort to Britain's many enemies, don't forget!
Poor "Sandman" !!!!! And let's hope somebody, maybe one of those hard-working local "Onion" journalists was able to "cut the poor guy down" in time for evening roll-call (!). If there's one thing that Lois and I know about the guy, it's that he "likes his tea", so fingers crossed !!!
And with the fogs now clearing, he should be able to "ponce about the Hampshire downs without fear", as the unit's motto has it!
Certainly Lois and I are starting to "ponce about" our new surroundings, the little Hampshire town of Liphook, with only a small amount of fear now, after the great fogs have gone, the temperature is rising marginally above freezing, and our heavy colds are starting to recede.
We venture outside for the first time for a week today, just to post a letter, and, certainly we aren't "picked offf" by any unseen assailants on the 250-yard walk down the road to the postbox on the street corner near the infamous terrorist haunt of Locke Road, so the omens are good!
We even manage to have our first shower in this house, which we only moved into on January 3rd, having disinfected the showerhead from any legacy Legionnaire's disease germs, which is comforting, and also having checked the shower cubicle for unseen assailants, not to mention unseen Dr No-style, Chinese-trained tarantulas etc, just to be on the safe side (!).
(left) flashback to October, when we viewed this house for the first time, in the company
of estate agent James, and (right) flashback to earlier this week, when I wrap the showerhead
in a bag filled with legacy Lockdown 2020 24/7 disinfectant , just as a precaution (!)
[Is that all you two "noggins" have done today, Colin - walked down the road to post a letter and had a shower? - Ed]
[Well, we also had 2 hours in bed this afternoon, if you must know, so no peace for the wicked haha! - Colin]
20:00 We wind down on the couch with this week's edition of our favourite TV quiz, Only Connect, which tests lateral thinking.
Some fascinating connections are on offer again in tonight's programme, many of them new to Lois and me. See how many of these "doozies" you know.
Who knew, for example, that dogs like to urinate and defecate when they're aligned on a north-south axis? It's been proved statistically by studies, would you believe.
And who knew what "
heterological words" are? Lois and I certainly didn't, but quiz presenter Victoria explains that it means words that can't be used as an example of the thing they're denoting. So the word "verb" is not a verb, "abbreviated" is not an abbreviated word, "monosyllabic" isn't a monosyllabic word, and "hyphenated" isn't a word that's hyphenated etc etc.
What's the point of having a word that means that? I think we should be told, don't you?
It's sheer madness !!!
As long-standing cryptic crossword buffs, however, Lois and I are particularly disappointed not to spot the fourth element in this sequence:
Have you seen the connection, and can you spot the sequence? Well, it's pretty tough, we know, trying to spot anagrams when you don't have any reference points, but yes, these are anagrams of the names of successive US presidents: Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. And presenter Victoria reveals the programme's suggested fourth anagram of George Bush as "He bugs Gore", which is as good as anything Lois and I are likely to come up with, we think!
No surprise that neither of tonight's team got that one.
But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!
21:00 We go to bed on an old edition of QI XL, the comedy quiz show, presented by the UK's favourite Dane, Sandi Toksvig.
Who knew that in 2016, two psychologists, Francis McAndrew and Sara Koenke, decided to quantify "creepiness", by finding out what most people would think of as a creepy person.
It turns out that what people find the creepiest kind of person is statistically likely to be male and thin, and have a few other worrying habits, as Sandi explains:
Long=time team member Alan Davies finds a redeeming feature in "Creepy Guy" however:
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!
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