Sunday September 20th 2026 "Friends, have YOU been 'battling' today, maybe against some item of clothing, or menu item?"

Yes, Friends, for a lot of us, life is a constant battle - against our clothes when we try to get dressed in the morning, or a battle with a cherished menu item, maybe!  And these battles are reflected in newspaper headlines - no question about  that !!!!! 

Here are two "doozies" from today's Onion News, which should give you the general idea, if you're not too "battle weary" yourself to read about them, of course!!!

The stories, however, bring some much-needed relief to me and my wife Lois, as we pack up our things and leave our hotel in Ipswich, Suffolk, to finally return home to our pleasant house in semi-welcoming Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure!!!

flashback to last night, as we take a final 

drink in the hotel bar on our last night in Ipswich

But let me put my cards on the table at this point. 

[I wish you wouldn't keep doing that, Colin! - Ed]

Lois and I have spent a lovely couple of nights in Ipswich being a small part in a joyous family occasion: the marriage of my niece Lucy to her fiancee Rosanna. 

flashback to yesterday: the wedding of my niece 

Lucy (left) to her fiancee Rosanna

But today Lois and I have to return to our normal lives, luckily not having to drive the 132 miles to Liphook ourselves, but being kindly driven by our son-in-law Edward and our daughter Alison, which will save us a ton of stress to put it mildly!!!!

So thanks to Edward, Lois and I don't have to "do battle" with the long drive, let alone battle with a sweatshirt neckhole, or with a unwieldy burrito (see Onion News stories above!!!), which is a comfort (!). 

However, our route home takes us near the site of the Battle of Maldon in August 991, so over 1000 years ago, when an Anglo-Saxon army was defeated by invading Vikings, a battle that also resulted in the death of the Anglo-Saxon leader Byrhtnoth.

Poor Byrhtnoth !!!!! 

And the sign "to Maldon via the A434" sends a bit of a tingle down the spines of both Lois and me, as we are both keen history-buffs, despite, or perhaps because of, our age! The date of the battle is traditionally given as "either August 10 or August 11" - I expect the participants couldn't quite remember: after all both the winners and the losers had a lot going on at the time, so fair enough, that's what Lois and I say, at any rate! 

Even ourselves, we can't always remember what days we do things on, would you believe! Well, we are 80, so we're entitled to a few slips of memory occasionally, we feel !!!!

And how lovely it is, also, today, to be driven across the Thames Estuary over the Dartford Bridge, which is a first for us, as we don't normally come anywhere near these parts, to put it mildly!!!

the Queen Elizabeth II Bridge which crosses the Thames Estuary at Dartford

Also new to us is the system of paying the toll for the bridge, a payment which these days drivers apparently make "online", so no just throwing a shilling piece into a big basket, or that kind of 'malarkey', which is weird! 

Stop the world, we want to get off haha !!!!

[Get real, Colin, this is 2006 not 1956 - better buck your ideas up!!! - Ed]

(left) our son-in-law Edward drives us over the Dartford Crossing Bridge,

as (right) my wife Lois marvels at the mighty river below us

Edward somehow pays the toll "online", or that's what he tells us at least !!!!

What madness !!!!!

Edward has to be home by lunchtime so he can get ready for his latest business trip, this time by air to Boston USA, of all places, so he can bring home some "big money deal" or other to the railway company he's a director of. 

And Lois and I have to be home by lunchtime to take part in our weekly whatsapp catch-up call with our other daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia, with husband Francis and their 13-year-old twins Lily and Jessica, which is always a joy. And Sarah is keen to hear about the wedding of her cousin Lucy, so that's all good!

Lois and I take part in our weekly whatsapp catch-up call with our daughter

Sarah and our 13-year-old twin granddaughters Lily and Jessica

14:30 Totally exhausted, and completely 'talked out', Lois and I finally flop into bed this afternoon for an extended 'statutory naptime', before crawling downstairs for a scratch meal and flopping down on the sofa for a viewing of the first in a new series of Antiques Roadshow on BBC1. Being a couple of "antiques" ourselves, we tend to identify with the exhibits rather than with the collectors - poor us !!!!

The oldest object on the show tonight is a 3000 year old pair of "penannular rings" from the end of the Bronze Age - at least Lois and I feel younger than that, which is a comforting thought!

Or do we......??????

(left) a pair of 3000-year old penannular rings and (right) a pair of 'old codgers'

I wonder.....!

Poor us !!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Friday September 18th - Saturday September 19th 2026 "Italians, eh! They seem to do everything in a 'classy', fashionable way, which is nice!"

Friday September 18th 2026

Yes, Friends, once again the Italians are dominating the headlines, with their natural sense of 'style' beating the pants off us poor gauche, ungainly Brits - and that's a 'given' !!!!

They're certainly making all the running in today's Onion News - no surprise there !

What madness isn't it!!!! Those 'Eye-ties', eh?! With their 'style' and semi-unconscious brilliance, they can certainly teach us hopelessly unfashionable Brits a thing or two along the way - no question about that!

And all these headlines bring an expectant smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in semi-regional Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure, because tonight, we'll be dining at a classy Italian restaurant 134 miles away, in semi-aquatic Ipswich, Suffolk, which is a twist, to put it mildly!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Yes, and these 'Onion' stories remind us that, tonight, we'll be living it up in Ipswich, Suffo;k - well, our powers of memory aren't what they used to be, now that we're both 80, even though we look decades younger, our friends tell us!

[Really, Colin? I'd like some signed statements to that effect, if you wouldn't mind! - Ed]

You see, our daughter Alison and lawyer husband Edward, will be coming over at 11am from their home in nearby Headley, Hampshire, to 'whisk' us both away for the long 134-mile car journey to Ipswich, where we've been invited to the wedding of my niece Lucy to her fiancee Rosanna, taking place tomorrow, Saturday.

Lois and I thought that Edward must be taking the day off from his hotshot lawyer job, but during the drive, it transpires that for him, it's 'business as usual' and the poor guy, while negotiating the busy M25 around London, somehow also has to spend most of the journey talking on his phone to his co-workers and associates, not just in the UK, but also in America -  he's due to fly to Boston on Sunday evening for talks about some 'big money deal', or other.

What madness!!! But that's the modern world for you, so take it or leave it haha!!!

Our hotshot lawyer son-in-law Edward stuffs his over-excited 'old codger'

parents-in-law into the back seat of his swish, comfortable car, somehow

managing to negotiate the busy M25 around London, while also

talking on the phone to his associates both in the UK and the US - what madness!!!

At least Lois and I know we're in a safe pair of hands for the drive to Ipswich, and we thrill to the sights and sounds of a route we've never taken before - going round London on the 'wrong' side, i.e. the east side, taking the Dartford Tunnel option across the Thames Estuary, before finally arriving at the iconic Ipswich harbourside hotel where all four of us are staying, although Edward and Alison are in a superior 4th floor room, with a superior view of the car-park.

Lois and I are meanwhile 'slumming it' on the first floor with the 'rough' guests, but we don't mind, we famously "like a bit of 'rough' now and again" haha! We also have a view of the car-park, but arguably a 'more informative, and detailed one', because it's 'a lot more nearer, like', which is nice!

And in a boldly 'inclusive' move by the hotel management, guests from the superior rooms are now allowed to meet their first-floor 'rough' friends and relations in the hotel bar, which is a comfort, so before walking the 10 minute walk to the Italian restaurant for the pre-wedding day dinner, we enjoy a quick drink with Alison and Edward. 

Oooooh, that's a relief  - make mine a 'Stella', Edward, my man, if you wouldn't mind !!!!! 

17:30 We detach ourselves, all four, from the hotel bar and embark on the 10-minute walk through the "mean streets of Ipswich" to the delightful "Bella Napoli" Italian restaurant for the pre-wedding day dinner.

Lois and I, plus our daughter Alison and husband Edward,  join the friends 

and family of the happy couple, for the pre-wedding day 

dinner at Ipswich's flagship Italian restaurant, the Bella Napoli

My goodness, what a lot of 'chat', and much of it 'lawyer chat'! You see, the happy couple, Lucy and Rosanna are both lawyers, practising in Ipswich, although at their law firm, there is "no overlap in their responsibilities", we hear: a situation due to well and truly end tomorrow, that's for sure, although not on the work front presumably!!! And there are an awful lot of lawyers (in a nice sense!) present here tonight in this restaurant, no question about that!

There's also a lot of  'Anglo-American chat', because my niece Lucy's fiancee Rosanna is the product of an arguably 'mildly mixed marriage'. She has an English mother and an American father, a couple now based in somewhere like Illinois (Belleville?) or Missouri (?) or that kind of 'malarkey', at any rate. Somewhere in the "Great American Middle", in other words, so very much 'in the thick of it' over there, which is nice! 

faraway Illinois, USA, and the town, Belleville, where Rosanna's parents are based (roughly!)

Tonight, a lot of Rosanna's friends and family are here from the States, including some US lawyers, so no surprise there!

The two legal systems are basically the same, in many aspects - the American one could be dubbed 'Magna Carta without the wigs', as I was once told. And American lawyers are allowed to quote the outcomes of British cases as long as they're at least 250 years old, or older, which can be useful in some circumstances, believe it or not! 

So "Bob's your Uncle, fair enough!" -  that's what Lois and I say !!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!

Saturday September 20th 2026

Friends, are YOU ever tempted to dance at a wedding? A lot of us are, aren't we, although it can be unwise not to practise for a few hours (or days maybe?) beforehand, so as not to upstage the couple and, particularly so as  not to upstage them in in a not very good way, to put it mildly!!! 

Some days, everybody seems to be dancing - have you noticed? [No! - Ed] And once again, dancing is dominating the headlines, today, if we're to believe our print copy of this morning's Onion News, no question about that!!!!

It's dancing madness, I tell you!!! 

And these Onion headlines bring a cheery grin to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in Ipswich, 130 miles north east of our home in semi-attractive Liphook, Hampshire, that's for sure!!!!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

Lois and I actually find ourselves dancing today, the first time we've danced together for about 2 years, tempted by a joyous occasion - the wedding of my dear niece Lucy to her fiancee Rosanna at Ipswich. However, wisely, I think we stop after 2 numbers - well we are 80, so we don't want to cause a medical emergency and upstage the happy couple, as noted above (!), so fair enough - that's what we say !!!! 

Call us "unnecessarily unassuming", if you can say that 'mouthful' without spluttering, that is !!!

The venue for the wedding is upstairs in the august Ipswich County Library, so a somewhat 'bookish' feel to the occasion, but very pleasing for us, especially for Lois who spent her working life in libraries, so she feels completely at home!

(left) the room at the County Library where the ceremony takes place, and

(right) the steps outside, as guests gather

the happy couple 'tie the knot'

Lucy and Rosanna's joyous 'confetti moment'

It's a ceremony that somehow combines both the emotional gravity of the occasion with joyous hilarity, as this unashamedly 'giggly' couple pledge their troth before an excited crowd of friends and emerge first into the gardens of the nearby Ipswich and Suffolk Club and then into the club dining room for the reception, and the many heart-felt speeches from the couple and some of their guests.

There are lots of lawyers present - both Lucy and Rosanna are practising law in Ipswich: they'll get it right eventually, they promise us! And there are also lots of Americans - Rosanna has an English mother and an American father, and her family hail from Missouri / Illinois or that kind of 'malarkey', adding a cosmopolitan feel to the occasion, which is nice!

Lois and I feel "all talked out" by the time the reception ends around 5 pm, so we do the 15 minute walk back to our harbour-side hotel and collapse on the bed [not shown]. 

Well we are 80, you know! And we need to recharge our batteries [not shown!], if we want to return to the club for the evening part of the 'do', which starts with the happy, giggly couple leading off and doing the first dance, by tradition.

(above) Lucy and Rosanna, the happy, giggly couple 'lead off' the evening's

dancing, and (below left) in the bar, our daughter Alison and husband Edward,

and (below right) my wife Lois and Yours Truly grabbing a quick 'nightcap' -

well we are 80, you know! [Final warning! - Ed]

And that, in brief, is how you do it, if your niece finds her soulmate and you want to be a part of this special moment in their two young lives, which we did. So simples!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Thursday September 17th 2026 "Farewells - are they something we can now say goodbye to? I wonder....!"

Yes, Friends, everybody's saying goodbye to somebody today, all over the world, and our poor press has trouble sometimes chronicling them all, although they make a good effort! Here are some of Onion News's featured examples, if you want proof!!!

And that's just two of their 'goodbye' stories in this morning's edition, but you'll have to get your own print edition and turn to page 94 if you want the "Full Monty" !

And all these sudden 'goodbyes' are bringing a teary smudge to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in semi-translucent Liphook, Hampshire - no question about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

For us, today is a whole series of 'farewells', as our three grandkids Josie (20), Rosalind (18), and Isaac (16) make what we're calling "a phased withdrawal" from our house, after a week of staying with us, while builders have been working on the renovation of their own home, a crumbling Victorian mansion in nearby Headley.

And today, those 3 young scamps' own dear bedrooms over in Headley are finally labelled "fit for human habitation" by the builders, meaning that the poor things can finally sleep in their own beds tonight, after a week of "roughing it" with us, which must be a huge relief to them, the poor mites !!!!!

phase one: after a "scratch lunch" of scrambled egg with us, our daughter

Alison takes Josie's things (and Josie herself (!)) home in her car,

signally the end to Josie's week-long nightmare of a stay with her grandparents (!)

phase 2: our daughter Alison collects Rosalind's things and Isaac's things

and takes them back to their crumbling Victorian mansion, so they can at last

sleep in their own beds tonight, which must be a huge relief, to put it mildly!!!

These last 7 days must have been a nightmare to our 3 young grandkids, that's for sure, listening to mine and Lois's endless stories about 'the good old days' before smartphones and digital watches etc (!). 

Poor grandkids!!!!

And for Lois and me, who, for the last 7 days, have certainly "had the cobwebs blown off us a bit" (in Lois's words!), we can now sit and watch our 'old codger' TV programmes in the evenings, just the two of us, with all those "cobwebs" starting to spread over us again, just like in a 1950's horror film - remember those wonderful days before smartphones and digital watches etc??? 

[And you can stop that 'old codger' talk right now! - Ed]

Have I ever shown you some of those marvellous pictures we've each got of ourselves circa 1950?

flashback to circa 1950: (left) Lois on a swing outside her parents'

post-war prefab in Oxford, and (right) me with my dear late mum and 

my dear late baby sister Kathy in front of our house in Dover - happy days!!!

[Final warning! - Ed]

16:00 And now, today, finally left on our own after our grandkids' departure, Lois and I have to rapidly change gear yet again, and get ready for the weekend celebrations of my dear great niece Lucy's wedding to her Anglo-American fiancee Rosanna in Ipswich. 

(left) flashback to May - Lois and me at Ipswich's leading Turkish restaurant,

with my sister Jill (rightmost), and Lucy and Rosanna; and (right)

the happy couple at a recent pre-wedding celebration, which is nice!

A big event, which Lois and I have both been looking forward to for a few months now - travelling to Ipswich tomorrow (Friday), checking in at our hotel by the harbourfront, going to the pre-wedding dinner, then attending the wedding itself on Saturday, followed by the reception etc etc, coming back home to Liphook on Sunday.

And hopefully there'll also be a chance to meet some other members of Rosanna's Anglo-American family.

So, once again it's busy busy busy!!!!

No wonder our neighbours have dubbed us "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple" - they're not wrong there, and "in spades" !!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!

Wednesday September 16th 2026 "Couples couples couples - hard to avoid them these days, isn't it haha!!!"

Yes, Friends, have YOU seen any couples hanging around your place of residence recently? You know the tell-tale signs don't you, of which the word 'people' and the number 'two' are the most obvious giveaways!!!

Certainly you can't read the papers these days without coming across some annoying 'couple' doing something somewhere! Just take the headlines in this morning's Onion News, if you don't believe me!!!

What madness, isn't it! But today's 'couple news' (see page 94!) at least brings a wan (or wannish!) excuse for a smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, as we take our near-daily walk over the 'hallowed turf' of local Hampshire Premier League giants Liphook United, stopping to observe the club's latest 'signings' in the darkened windows of their dilapidated, run-down-looking and totally unwelcoming, so-called "club house", that's for sure!!!!

my wife Lois and me this morning, as we take our near daily walk over

the 'hallowed turf' of local Hampshire Premier League giants, Liphook United

To be frank, we don't feel like a proper 'couple' any more, to be honest! 

For the last few days, we've been what Lois calls a 'couple plus', with our 3 scamps of grandkids temporarily living with us - Josie (20), Rosalind (18) and Isaac (16). They're with us temporarily this week, morning and evening, bringing their cheery chatty company into our lives, which is, in Lois's words, "blowing some of the cobwebs off us", no question about that!!!! 

our 3 grandkids -  Rosalind, Josie and Isaac -

- a picture from a skiing holiday a couple of years ago

And it's been a rare treat for Lois and me this past week, getting them all breakfast and waving them a tearful goodbye in the mornings, and then welcoming them back to our house in the late afternoon, asking them about their day, and later wishing them a good night as they scoot up the stairs to their temporary bedrooms in our tiny Liphook-based house, into which we moved into just 21 months ago, which is mad!

flashback to January 2025 - Lois and I move into our tiny house

in Liphook, hardly being able to move for unopened packing cases

- what madness!!!!!

And with a full house this week, Lois and I have been having more fun than usual even at night, when we find ourselves trying not to wake our 3 young scamps of grandchildren, as we make our multiple trips to the loo - well, we are 80 now, and fully-paid-up members of the UK's "old codger club", so fair enough, that's what we say!!!

This pleasant interlude in mine and Lois's life, however, will shortly be coming to an end, and the process is starting today. We've had the pleasure of all this young company while their family is temporarily 'homeless' waiting for builders to fully finish the renovation of their crumbling Victorian mansion in nearby Headley. And meanwhile their parents - our daughter Alison and husband Edward - have been 'skulking' in a 'rude' shepherd's hut, somewhere in the mansions extensive 7.5 acre grounds. 

What madness, isn't it!!!!

(left) one of the family's builders showcasing the mansion's prestigious

new entrance, currently under renovation, and (right) the

'rude' shepherd's hut in the mansion's extensive 7.5 acre grounds,

where our daughter Alison and husband Edward are currently

having to 'skulk' - what madness, isn't it !!!!

Bit by bit, however, their crumbling mansion is being declared 'habitable' again, and tonight our 3 grandkids will be having their evening meal in the mansion's extensive kitchen, leaving their aged grandparents to dine just the two of us. 

Later, however, the kids will once more be coming round to Lois and me, probably around 9pm, to spend the night here again, as their proper mansion bedrooms haven't been "signed off" yet and, more importantly, their own dear beds aren't in place yet, so - once again - it's a case of 'Fair enough!"

"dinner for two" - my wife Lois and me tonight in our

strangely quiet kitchen, with no grandkids to cheer us

with their happy banter - sob sob!!!!

Poor us !!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Tuesday September 15th 2026 "Business, eh!!! But do YOU know any REAL 'business people' - bet you don't haha !!!"

Yes, Friends, we hear a lot these days about 'business' but just think for a moment - do YOU know any actual business-men or -women? Not many of us do, do we, and yet the papers are always full of their crazy 'antics', for some reason, which is mad!!!!

Take this morning's Onion News, if you want 'chapter and verse' !!!!

Isn't it all just a little bit crazy?! But today's headlines bring a hint of a somewhat vacuous 'smiley' to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning - no doubt about that!!!

my wife Lois and me this morning, on our near-daily walk over the "hallowed turf",

home to local Hampshire Premier League giants Liphook United

And we're laughing because we're one of the few people today, who have a real-life businessman in the family - step forward our son-in-law Edward, a director of one of the UK's real-life regional railway companies, would you believe! 

(left) our director-son-in-law Edward with our daughter Alison, both dressed up to the nines

for a recent Railway Ball in London, and (right) Lois waving to one of "Edward's trains",

the "Hereford-to-Worcester Flyer", as Lois and I have dubbed it, just to encourage

the driver through the Malvern Marshes, which was a nice touch - but what madness!!!!!

But let me put my cards on the table at this point! 

Edward and Alison may look "all posh, like" in that picture above, but, to be frank, for the moment they're also technically 'homeless, like' (!) - with Edward possibly being the first such board member to be classified as such, which must be a bit galling for him! Alison and Edward are homeless, because builders have been late finishing off renovations to their crumbling Victorian mansion, and, to add to their 'woes', their family has this week been unceremoniously 'kicked out' of their temporary rental home, now to it's been sold to buyers, which is mad!

What a crazy world we live in !!!! And Lois and I have done what we can to help - providing beds for the couple's three 'kids', if we can call them that (!) - Josie (20), Rosalind (18) and Isaac (16), while Alison and Edward are reduced to sleeping in a 'rude' shepherd's hut somewhere in their mansion's 7.5 acre grounds - but what madness!!!!

(left) the scene on Friday at Alison and Edward's crumbling Victorian mansion, with

a builder saying, "Sorry there's no way we can let you into your mansion for another week

at least - it's health and safety, mate, innit!!!", and (right) the 'rude' shepherd's hut in the mansion's

7.5 acre grounds, where Alison and Edward have been forced to "skulk" for a week!

What madness, isn't it !!!!

And Lois and I have also been providing evening meals for the entire family, so it's "dinner for seven, please Lois" to paraphrase the classic song!!!!

Tonight, however, there's some relief for Lois in the "kitchen department", because it's be only "dinner for six", that Lois and I have to arrange. You see, Edward, our son-in-law, will be working in London for the next few days, looking all "business-y" and indulging in his crazy "business-y" antics, with all his so-called "business pals" - what madness, isn't it!! And he's also half-starting preparations to fly to Boston USA next week for talks on joint ventures with some American rail company, which is mad too!

 a typical 'flight path' taken by many planes travelling

from London across the Atlantic to Boston, USA

As you will know, Lois and I have been dubbed by our neighbours "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple" and yet we've somehow also managed to somehow 'factor in' hosting our 3 young scamps of grandkids (!), amongst our numerous other duties, like our near-daily walk, and also our work translating Virgil's Aeneid Book 2, as respected members of local retired schoolteacher Joe's "Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" U3A study-group, and Lois and I also find ourselves somehow squeezing in a bit of time for doing that today, in spite of our incredibly heavy schedule. 

Busy busy busy!!!

(above) Yours Truly, showcasing my copy of Vergil's Aeneid, with (right) part

of this week's homework, and (below) a typical session of local man Joe's

"Intermediate Latin for Old Codgers" U3A study group

"How did we ever find the time to go to work, back in the day?" is the question most frequently to be found on mine and Lois's lips - no surprise there! Frankly I don't think Lois and I would be able to cope with this frantic so-called 'retired' (ha!) life-style, if it weren't for our lengthy afternoons in bed, to recharge our batteries (!). 

And this week, each morning, we wave a tearful grandparental goodbye to young scamp Isaac (16) on his way to school, and another grandparental goodbye to those other two scamps Josie (20) and Rosalind (18), who speed off to Headley to help their parents with moving packing cases and trying to bring order to their half-finished renovated mansion, And after all that, Lois and I then just have to set to work to cross off as many jobs as we can from our over-crowded to-do-list, which is mad!!!

Lois and I this evening, somehow managing to 'squeeze in' a meal for six:

our daughter Alison (51) plus our grandkids Josie (20), Rosalind (18) and Isaac (16),

their busy dad Edward being away in London for 3 days doing his so-called 'business' (!)

No wonder Lois and I just fall into bed at 10pm each night, having watched just a paltry 3 hours of television,  totally exhausted by our frantic daily schedule!!! 

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do????

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!