Yes, Friends, don't you just hate it when actors jump off stage and continue the play or the song in the middle of the audience, maybe just inches away from you - it's the pits, isn't it, and I'm not just talking "orchestra pits" here haha!
There was another worrying incident just the other day, according to this morning's Onion News.
Poor audience!!!
Reading the story this morning, however, here in semi-automatic Liphook, Hampshire, brings a faintly suggestive smile to the lips of me and my wife Lois. The story brings to both our minds a nasty incident - famous in our family - that occurred at the Everman Theatre in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, back in the 1970's, in the early years of our marriage together.
me and my wife Lois - a recent picture
Lois and I, a typical young married couple, were sitting innocently in the front row of the theatre watching the musical Godspell, when one of the female dancers jumped off stage and onto my lap, pulling at my tie, and wrapping her feather boa round my neck - all with Lois sitting right there next to me!!! I tell you, no man is safe at the theatre these days - you have been warned!!!!!
(left) poster for a Godspell performance in Cheltenham, back in the 1970's, when
a female dancer jumped off stage and onto my lap, wrapping her boa around my neck
- what madness !!!!
What a crazy world we live in !!!!!
Hopefully, however, nothing remotely similar to that ugly incident (!) will happen this coming Sunday afternoon, in nearby Haslemere, when Lois and I have tickets to see "Legally Blonde - the Musical", being staged by a local Performing Arts group, in which our 15-year-old grandson Isaac is taking a key part.
flashback to September: (left) Lois and I waiting outside Haslemere Hall
to pick up our 15-year-old grandson Isaac from an early rehearsal of "Legally Blonde"
Isaac will be playing "the UPS guy", one of the romantic leads, who catches the eye of ditsy blonde manicurist Elle, played in the film by actress Jennifer Coolidge.
one of the key scenes in Legally Blonde film version, in which hunky
UPS delivery guy (Bruce Thomas) calls by the nail bar run by ditsy blonde
manicurist Elle (Jennifer Coolidge) with a package for her
The scene famously ends badly when Elle tries to execute the traditional "bend and snap" routine, designed some years ago especially for women wanting to attract men's attention to their legs. In the film, Elle "muffs" the manoeuvre spectacularly, by coming up from the floor too quickly, breaking the UPS guy's nose. A warning to young women everywhere, if one such ever were needed, to put it mildly !!!!
the scene just seconds before the nasty incident when manicurist Jennifer Coolidge
mis-times her "bend-and-snap" manoeuvre, breaking UPS delivery guy Bruce Thomas's nose
And let's keep fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly on Sunday, and that Isaac won't need any first aid after this key scene (!).
I know that Lois will be taking a bunch of band-aids in her handbag, and I've already practised saying "Don't break a nose!" to him as we drop him off at the stage door on Sunday, in place of the normal "Break a leg!" cry, traditionally said, somewhat ironically (!), to performers before they go on stage!
That information is strictly confidential, by the way until after Sunday - I want to be sure to get a good laugh when I make the remark!
[You are a wag, Colin! - Ed]
Isaac's last big role was in July, when he played the Tin Man in his school's production of the Wizard of Oz, performed at prestigious private boarding school Bedales, just outside nearby Petersfield, Hampshire.
flashback to July: our 15-year-old grandson Isaac taking the part
of the Tin Man in his school's production of "The Wizard of Oz"
But wait - there's more! Isaac's mother, our 50-year-old daughter Alison, drops by at our house in Liphook this morning for a "catch-up", and she offers to take Lois and me for another performance by Isaac, coming up at his school next Wednesday, when he'll be performing a couple of monologues.
It's certainly a busy life being grandparents to what we're calling the "future star in our family", and Lois wastes no time on putting this new "engagement" - abbreviated, because of space limitations, to "Isaac monologues - school" - right there on our wall calendar!
flashback to this morning - our daughter Alison (50) drops by for
a catch-up, and more exciting engagements to scribble onto our wall calendar!!!!
It's something to do with Isaac's preparations for his upcoming Drama GCSE exam later this year, under the auspices of LAMDA, "The London Academy of Music & Dramatic Art". But Lois and I don't really understand the details, as per usual !!!!
a typical LAMDA performance from members of the
London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art (LAMDA)
(left) the appalling weather in Liphook today, and (right) Liphook
seen here in happier (and balmier!) times - what madness!!!!
And Alison this morning brings us up to date on her other two offspring, which is nice!
Josie (19), who's having the time of her life in her first year at Durham University and has made the soccer team; Rosalind (17) who's now got two offers for when she starts "uni" next September - Bath and Durham: will she go with "big sis" and choose Durham, or will she choose Bath, much easier to get to, just zipping along the M4? And Isaac, who's currently preparing for his Mandarin Chinese GCSE has also got a school trip to London coming up, when he'll be able to find out about the availability of Mandarin degree courses from existing students.
our granddaughter Josie, (left) leftmost and (right) rightmost, having
fun with fellow students in her first year at Durham University
So it's all happening! What a crazy world we live in !!!!! [That's enough madness! - Ed]
20:00 To get a bit of sanity back in our lives, Lois and I settle down on the sofa tonight to watch the latest programme in archaeologist Alice Robert's new series of "Digging for Britain".
A few years ago, on the island of St Michael's Mount, just off the Cornish coast, a local gardener, Darren Little, who knew nothing about archaeology, and who was just busy doing his ordinary gardening work, stumbled on one of Alice's co-presenter Dr Tori Herridge's "finds of the century": a Bronze age hoard of metal objects including many examples of armour and weaponry never seen before.
the mysterious island of St Michael's Mount, off the Cornish coast,
where, a few years ago, a local gardener stumbled on a spectacular metal hoard
"Was your heart racing when you found the hoard?", co-presenter Dr Tori Herridge wants to know, when she questions gardener Darren Little, who made the chance discovery.
Poor Mrs Little !!!!
And Lois knows how Mrs Little must have felt, to put it mildly! To my shame, I leave virtually all the meal preparation in our house to Lois, apart from a handful of my very basic "signature dishes" - "poached egg surprise" and the like.
flashback to April 2022: I serve one of my signature
dishes - my critically acclaimed "poached egg surprise" -
to a clearly delighted Lois
However, as a result of my admitted deficiencies in the culinary department (!), Lois is constantly having to shout up the stairs to me, to tell me that "tea's ready" - usually I'm up there doing something or other on the computer. Poor Lois !!!!
me, typically wasting time upstairs on our shiny new laptop,
while Lois is downstairs, impatiently waiting to serve tea
Be that as it may (!), historians now believe that it was Cornwall's abundant supplies of good quality tin ore, a rare commodity in the ancient world, that persuaded the Romans to come and force Britain into their worldwide empire. If you melt tin ore and copper ore and mix them together, apparently, you make bronze, which is much stronger than copper on its own, so very good for making swords, shields etc. And it's now believed that the island of St Michael's Mount, off the Cornish coast, was a "hub" for the transportation of Cornish tin to Rome and the Mediterranean all those years ago.
Could this be where Donald got the idea in the first place? Is he a fan of "Digging for Britain"?
Blonde and enthusiastic, Alice's co-presenter Dr Tori could be just "Donald's type", Lois and I suspect.
I wonder.....!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!
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