Tuesday August 11th 2020

09:00 I work out how to set up a group conference call using Skype, which we are hoping to use on Thursday for a meeting of mine and Lois’s U3A Danish group – the first proper meeting since lockdown started.

09:30 Our dentist emails us – we have to fill in three medical questionnaires before we turn up on Thursday for our 6-monthly check-up. On one form we have to sign to say that we consent to dental treatment “during COVID-19” – in other words, it’s our fault if we catch if off the dentist or off the hygienist or off the receptionist or off other patients (although hopefully we’re not expecting to see other patients)  – oh dear!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!!

I’m guessing they won’t ask us to wear face masks while we’re sitting in the dentist’s chair – but that’s just a hunch!

our local dentist's practice

10:00 Another hot day in store (88F, 31C) – phew wottascorcher!!!!

We decide to drive over and see our friend Fran before it gets too warm – we were supposed to go yesterday but the visit was called off due to injury. Lois wants to give Fran some of our greengages and collect another couple of novels: in Jan Karon’s series, to which Fran is addicted, that centre round the fictional American town of Mitford.

Mitford was recently disappointed by losing out to close rival Emporia, Kansas, for the coveted title of "best small town in America to escape from" (source: Onion News).

EMPORIA, KS—Calling it a tough decision with hundreds of other dispiriting options available, a report released Monday by Forbes magazine declared Emporia, KS the best small town in America to escape from. 

“After examining a wide range of quality-of-life indicators, we determined that there was no better place in America to get the hell out of and never look back,” said editor Martha Collins, adding that factors such as housing conditions and the overall health of residents made it ideal for packing one’s bags for the big city and never looking back. 

“The school system is perfect for someone who wants to jump on the first bus out of town so they never have to see those people’s faces again, and the local economy provides a range of dead-end jobs for people to quit because they don’t want to wake up 40 years from now having wasted their lives like their old man—ultimately, there was no better town for dreaming of a better life somewhere, anywhere else.” 

We need an annual competition like that in the UK, no doubt about that! And the publicity might stimulate tourism in the countryside, something badly needed in most of these dispiriting areas - for some reason they are often left out of the specialist rural tour-bus routes and schedules.

But that's not something for the likes of me to make a decision about! 

Lois keeps me up to date with what's going on in Mitford. The unmarried rector has the conventional fan club of (mostly happily married) women, who buzz around him like bees round a honey-pot. 

He's trying to start a serious meaningful relationship with the divorcee next door, but a rich widow has set her sights on him. She invites him to a parish meeting at a house, but while the rector is in the bathroom she somehow gets rid of all the other guests.

The rector asks the rich widow if her chauffeur can drive him home, but apparently the car has broken down so the rector has to stay at the widow's most of the night, eventually getting home about 5 am. Of course the woman next door happens to look out of her window at just the wrong time, and she sees the widow's chauffeur drop the rector off outside and drive away. 

Oh dear - it's curtains for that relationship, Lois thinks!

Poor rector !!!!!!

10:15 Today I do the driving from our home to Fran’s, and Lois drives us back – we only go out in the car about once every 5-6 days, so one or other of us would soon get out of practice if we didn’t share being in the driving seat, that’s for sure. 

The time will soon be approaching when we have to fill up with petrol for the first time for a couple of months - yikes! But our local petrol station will be pleased: I expect they've missed us.

Our local petrol station - we're guessing they've been missing us!

As has become typical, here we see nobody queueing up for petrol, just one car getting

some free air for its tyres - how sad!

We get back about 12 noon and have a pork pie lunch on the patio, before going inside.

we enjoy a pork pie lunch (not shown) on the patio - 

before seeking shade inside the house

14:00 I go to bed for a gigantic afternoon nap, while Lois goes in the dining room and takes part in her sect's zoom bible class for Iranian asylum-seekers. Iranian Christians are attracted to Lois's sect and also to Jehovah's Witnesses, because, like them, they don't agree with the doctrine of the Trinity. 

After the class is done, Lois falls asleep on the sofa over this week’s crossword in “The Week”. Oh dear!

this week's copy of "The Week", which gives a digest

of the past week's news from home and abroad

20:00 It's still in the 80's Fahrenheit, so Lois and I put off the watering of our neighbour Frances's enormous garden and of our own garden, till into the evening. 

We feel absolutely shattered after the work in the garden, and collapse onto the sofa. We watch an old episode of "The IT Crowd", which centres round Roy, Moss, and Jen, who comprise a dysfunctional IT department in a large company.

"The IT Crowd" is never afraid to pose questions about some of the big issues of our times - and tonight it's "Should a woman dump a man for apparently trivial reasons?".

Roy and Moss want Jen to dump her new boyfriend, and she asks them why. "Because he looks  like a magician", they reply in unison. 

Jen scoffs at this initially, but on her next date with the man, she begins to see him with different eyes.

After Roy and Moss's "snap" evaluation, Jen begins to see

her current boyfriend with new eyes

On top of that, Jen realises, for the first time also, that when her boyfriend picks up an object, any object, like a glass on the table, he handles it and gestures with it as if he's going to do a conjuring trick with it, make it disappear or something similar. In fact the man knows nothing about conjuring or magic. 

Oh dear, now it's curtains for that relationship too !!!!

Poor man-who-looks-like-a-magician!!!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!