Wednesday September 16th 2020

10:00 A painful start to the day - oh dear! We recently had some new brick paving put down on our driveway and paths, and the exterior of the house repaired and painted, but nobody asked us to pay for it – until this morning, when the “hardscaping” firm’s boss called round to see if we were satisfied, and then he worked out the bill, which was as per the estimate. I paid it online – easy! It was actually paid for by a lot of the money we got refunded after our Australia trip was cancelled due to the pandemic, which was handy, although we’d have rather taken the trip, to put it mildly!

11:00 Today has otherwise been the day for collecting up most of our cooking apples, wrapping them in newspaper or paper towels, and storing them in a big box in the larder. We’ll be eating apples all winter, by the looks of it, and no harm in that - apples "is good food", no doubt about that!

Lois showcases our harvest of cooking apples

15:00 Our main relaxation during lockdown has been doing crosswords, particularly those in the Radio Times, “The Week”, and in our giant book of “The Times” crosswords, which are all really tough, but we like a challenge.

The latest copy of “The Week” has a crossword that goes a little bit too far, however, in our opinion – a crossword, that features 3 “unclued” words (18 across, and 6 and 17 down), plus some clues that each have two alternative answers. 

What madness! This is clearly going too far in terms of obscure deviousness, if you ask us. However, we decide not to cancel our subscription to the magazine, and just see first how we get on with this “wordsmith mayhem”.  

We’ll suspend judgment for the time being, but we are not amused!

the crossword as it stands at 4 pm today:

with the “crazy” clues [and non-clues] not yet attempted – yikes!

Suggestions for unsolved clues welcomed haha!

We wonder if the crossword could possibly have been “hacked” by China, the way the Chinese hacked into the New York Times and Wall Street Journal puzzles, as revealed in a shocking story on America’s influential news website, Onion News. One of the site’s most experienced experts, systems analyst Kirby Lewis, commented that two of the clues led to non-existent words, which is worrying, to put it mildly!

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Oh, and I can see now that the answer to 25 across is "stay-at-home". Are the Chinese trying to warn us of the much anticipated Second Wave?  I think we should be told!

20:00 Lois disappears into the dining-room to take part in her sect’s weekly Bible Class on zoom. I settle down in the living-room and work on the crossword in “The Week” with its crazy “non-clues” and alternative answers. At last I crack it and the finished result looks like this:

the finished crossword, with our vote for Biden (18 across)

What a surprise! There are two alternative answers to 18 across: “Biden” or “Trump” – and the “Biden” answer depends on choosing “Brent” for 18 down, “oui” for 13 down, “eat” for 19 down, and “swoon” for 11 down.

If on the other hand you want to make “Trump” your answer for 18 across, you have to choose “Trent” for 18 down, “our” for 13 down, “mat” for 19 down, and “swoop” for 11 down. Simples!

I can see now that this crossword is obviously a crude attempt by the Chinese to influence the “American (6 down) Election (17 down)”. What madness!

Lois emerges from her Bible Class and we decide to plump for “Biden” as he’s the only one of the two who isn’t completely crazy, so it seems a no-brainer. But will our vote count in the real election? We’re not 100% sure. I think Trump has already warned individual states not to accept votes from crossword-enthusiasts in the UK, but could this ruling be challenged in the courts, perhaps?

The jury's still out on that one.

22:00 We go to bed – zzzzz!!!!