Tuesday, 26 September 2023

Monday September 25th 2023

This is one of those days when Lois and I try to "sort our lives out" - i.e. try and make progress with some of the unresolved issues we've still got since we downsized into this new-build home in Malvern 10 months ago.

Like, e.g. getting a shed put up in the back garden before winter comes. You wouldn't think it could be so difficult would you - what a madness it is! We want a little 4ft x 6ft shed just like near-neighbour Angela's got! She's got a lovely one !!!! Is that too much to ask haha!!!!

near-neighbour Angela's little shed - just lovely, isn't it!

Until recently I didn't realise that there was such a thing as "shed wars" or "shed envy", when I started seeing headlines like this one in the Yorkshire Post.



And do you remember how "shed issues" wrecked the career of modern composer Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson? Do you remember when the issue of his possible second shed unexpectedly came to overshadow his musical achievements during a hallmark interview with Eric Idle on the BBC's flagship arts programme "It's The Arts"?

No? "Don't remember"???? Well, here's a quick reminder!

interview with modern composer Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson (left)
hosted by Eric Idle on the BBC's flagship arts programme, "It's The Arts",
an interview which led to Arthur's eventual ejection from the studio
and to the consequential disgrace which cost him his job


Yes, sheds need careful handling, no doubt about that!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!

And another huge (in our minds) hurdle is getting rid of a single bed and replacing it with bunk beds so that we can put both our sets of grandchildren up here if they choose to come.

our "proper" single bed (left), plus the airbed (right), which
we sometimes supplement it with - what a madness it all is !!!!

So far today there's not much progress to report either on the shed or the bed, but watch this space! [I'm not holding my breath! - Ed]

It's another windy day here, as well - the wind fairly whistles down our street, and I think it's because the houses are too close to the houses on the opposite side of the street, creating a wind-tunnel effect. That's what I think anyway!

Our local trees are really blowing about. And the trees are so thin and "weedy" here, aren't they. Admittedly they've only been planted recently, so give them time, that's what Lois and I say !!!!

a typical "weedy" tree on our street -
how can it possibly survive these terrible winds?

However, some people around here say that the trees are just "faking it", and I don't rule that out personally. Did you see the yesterday's headline on Onion News about that "prima donna" tulip poplar in Kansas City?

KANSAS CITY, MO—Rolling their eyes as the tulip poplar they sat beneath began to rustle Monday, local witnesses reported that a wildly flailing tree was exaggerating its reaction to what was nothing more than a gentle breeze.

“Ugh, can you believe the theatrics?” said sighing onlooker Darrell Denton, who stood up and mockingly waved his arms around in a melodramatic fashion to demonstrate to those around him what “that idiot tree” looked like.

“I swear, all it takes is the slightest wisp of air passing through its branches, and this drama queen freaks the f*** out. The wind right now is nothing—it’s 5, 10 miles per hour, tops. But from the way the tree is dropping leaves and bending this way and that you’d think we were in a hurricane. Can you imagine this a****** trying to hack it on the coast with some actual gale-force winds rolling in? Forget it.”

At press time, Denton was continuing on about how the tree was “all bluster” when he was crushed mid-sentence by a falling branch.

What crazy trees there are around these days !!!!!

20:00 Lois and I unwind on the couch with tonight's edition of the TV quiz "Only Connect", which tests lateral thinking.


Lois and I have been looking forward to tonight's programme, because it features one of our favourite teams in this year's contest, "The Gardners" - you know, the team Lois and I call unofficially "The Grinners", because of their infectious grinning. 

Tonight's contest: between "The Academicals" (left), a bunch of teachers,
and "The Gardners", the team Lois and I have nicknamed "The Grinners"

And the Gardners have to win this contest tonight against a team of teachers, "The Academicals" - a bunch of teachers - if they want to remain in the contest. Yes, whichever team loses tonight is going to be eliminated - yikes!

There are some fascinating questions tonight, no doubt about that. Can you spot the link between these 4 things? Neither team managed to spot this one, so try your luck. Go on !!!!


No? Well, it turns out that they are all instances of World Record Attempts made live on TV or radio. 

Cricketer Andrew Flintoff, in a mammoth televised darts session for the charity Sport Relief, broke 14 darts records, including the longest distance from which anyone had previously scored a bullseye: 16ft 6in (5m) or thereabouts. In the same show he also broke the record for most hot dogs made in a minute, most lemons caught while blindfolded, and most peas eaten with a cocktail stick.

cricketer Andrew Flintoff (left) showcasing his collection of
14 darts world records, including getting a bullseye from the longest ever distance

DJ Nick Grimshaw broke the twerking record - just over 1 hour - on his Radio One show, but only held the record for a few minutes, because his colleague DJ Greg James had been secretly twerking in an adjoining studio and had leapfrogged over Grimshaw and straight into the record-books, which was a bit sad for Nick.

Poor Nick !!!!!

Radio DJ Nick Grimshaw, performing his world-beating "twerk"

TV presenter Gyles Brandreth on an ITV "Good Morning Britain" breakfast show on Valentine's Day 1987, broke the record for the longest on-screen kiss with Bucks Fizz singer Cheryl Baker - between 3 and 4 minutes. Gyles had tried to break the record previously with fellow breakfast TV presenter Anne Diamond, but, cruelly, the cameras had had to cut away from him and Anne, to cover Brezhnev's funeral, which was bad luck, wasn't it, and not just for Brezhnev haha!



Presenter Gyles Brandreth kissing Bucks Fizz singer Cheryl Baker,
and still going after 2 minutes - keep it up, Gyles haha!!!

And don't forget the one that got away - Gyles Brandreth and Anne Diamond and their "kissus interruptus". The two met up years later, in January 2011, and no doubt reminisced about "that kiss" and, most of all, "what might have been".

Anne Diamond and Gyles Brandreth, meeting up
again years later, in 2011, and maybe reminiscing about
"what might have been"

Poor Anne !!!!!!

And, finally, Richard Osman on a special edition of the TV quiz "Pointless", without warning or preparation, broke the world record for naming the most-ever countries corresponding to the capital cities that were being listed one after another by fellow Pointless-presenter Alexander Armstrong.


What a load of rubbish!!!!!

At the end of the show, anyway, it's "The Grinning Gardners" who come out on top, and Lois and I are very much looking forward to seeing them again in the next round of this year's competition.



22:00 Enough said - we go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!

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