Monday September 4th 2023

Well, it's official - a heatwave is a-coming  - 82Ftoday and 83F (around 28C) tomorrow! Phew, what a scorcher!!!!

And today the Met Office confirms it for Lois and me (and for everybody else!), which is nice and timely!!!!!

And now some of my what-seemed-at-the-time crazy "decisions" and postponements etc -  in particular (1) not putting way for winter the bed-level, floor-mounted fan we keep in our bedroom, and (2) not putting the iced coffee sachets away into "long term storage" in the larder. These decisions, which at the time looked crazy, I have to admit,  are now suddenly beginning to look like they make a lot of sense!

this is the bed-level, floor-mounted fan in our bedroom that I've "never got round to 

putting away" during the last 6 weeks of cool weather - who's laughing now?!!!!!

And the box of iced coffee sachets in the corner of the kitchen. Lois recently criticised the "too lavish choice of teas and coffee" on the worktop, and rationalised it to some extent, asking me if I'd be prepared to "put the iced coffee sachets away in the larder till spring 2024", but I resisted this over-bold move, I have to say. Again, who's laughing now?!!!!

I showcase the box of Kenco iced coffee sachets

that I've simply refused to "put to bed till spring 2024", as requested

- but who's laughing now?!!! (again)

And in all other respects our preparations for a week-long heatwave are proceeding apace. 

This morning, Lois and I drive over to the Warners Supermarket at Upton-on-Severn to stock up on salads, cooked meats, quiches, and chicken we can eat cold - that kind of thing. 

It's Monday morning, so there are only a few old codgers blocking the aisles, and we can easily push past them - although no old codgers were hurt in the staging of this photo below, just in case you're worried !!!! [Don't you mean other old codgers? - Ed]

Whenever we go supermarket shopping, Lois picks out what she wants, while I stand around with the trolley in the aisles, trying not to be in anybody's way. When she selects a purchase, I then decide whether it's "heavy", "light" or "medium heavy", and store them in the trolley with the heavy items furthest away, so that they get loaded onto the checkout conveyor belt first and go into the bags first. 

my patented method of loading supermarket shopping trolleys

See? Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it! Go on, admit it !!!!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I've managed to patent my heavy/medium/light method of loading supermarket trolleys, so if you want to borrow the scheme, you'll have to pay 6p to my trust every time you used it, unfortunately! But how else can you put a price on genius, I'd like to know!!!!

Let's be honest, though. If you use the "Colin Trolley Loading Plan", I'm probably not going to find out about it, but, just saying, if I do, then I obviously have the right to pursue you through the courts and sue for lost royalties plus emotional distress, using one of the modern online legal firms, like Lawyers4U, or similar. 

Again, just saying!

Sometimes when we're going along the aisles, and I see something I like, I ask Lois if we're out of them, which is usually a good way of getting them purchased. I did that today with cream chocolate eclairs, and hey presto, at 4pm when we sit down for our cup of tea, we're able to treat ourselves to one each, which is nice. Yum yum!

cream-filled chocolate eclairs - yum yum!

Incidentally I'm drinking tea out of my "Best Grandad Ever" mug. It's funny but when my daughter Sarah gave me the mug for Fathers Day this year, as I told her, I didn't even know I'd been nominated for the award, so it was a bit of a surprise to find out that I'd won, to put it mildly!

And they say history doesn't repeat itself, but I found out the other day that the self-same experience happened to Herman "Grandpa" Fraser, back in 2001 - the story was broken by the influential American news website Onion News. Remember?

I've written to Herman, incidentally, hoping we can swap a few tips about grandfathering skills. I haven't heard back yet - I assume he's still with us. But when I hear, I'll let you know what he suggests.

[I wouldn't bother if I were you - judging by his age in the photo! - Ed]

Of course, Herman may be a bit reluctant to get in touch - after all, "Best Grandad Ever" trumps "World's Greatest Grandpa", doesn't it, because it implies I'm better than all previous good grandpas, to be accurate about it. But we'll see. 

18:30 There's something magical about an "Indian summer" evening, isn't there. 

And tonight it's warm enough for Lois and me to have our puddings outside on the patio. Lois is having fruit and ice-cream, and I'm having, with my ice-cream, the last of Lois's delicious apple-and-blackberry crumble, made from the blackberries we picked on the common a few days ago.

And before we go inside, we watch four faraway hang-gliders floating about like giant birds over the Malvern Hills, some of the oldest hills in England, at about 680 million years, so pre-Cambrian.

four hang-gliders, floating about like giant birds,

over the 680 million-year-old Malvern Hills tonight

21:00 We wind down on the sofa by watching the fourth programme in Alexander Armstrong's new series about the history of Buckingham Palace on Channel 5.

It's fascinating tonight to see the table plan for Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee Banquet in 1887, with all the crowned heads of Europe, and their families, all pretty much related to Victoria in any case, so it was very much a family affair. And to get invited you had to be a duke or duchess, at the very least.

And Lois and I didn't realise that Queen Victoria had such a voracious appetite, despite being a widow for 40 years, and always going around dressed in black, and looking a bit "grumpy". 

Food historian Annie Gray explains the set-up for the Jubilee Banquet to presenter JJ.

If you were a guest, the trick was to eat quickly in any case, because when the Queen put her knife and fork down, you knew that that particular course was officially over-and-done-with, and somebody would be along in a minute to collect your plate, whether you'd finished or not. 

What a madness it all was!!!!

And Lois and I didn't know that a special manually-operated lift or elevator was installed in the palace for the Queen when she was 74, to get her between the different floors. 

In tonight's programme, palace historian Tania Staras gives presenter Raksha Dave the details.

See? Simples, really, isn't it! 

But have you seen pictures of the Queen when she was in her 70's and 80's? Who would want to be one of those "trusted aides" having to haul the ropes up and down with the Queen inside, particularly if she had been to any good banquets recently.

Historian Tania Staras gives us the background.

What a crazy world they lived in, back in those far-off days!!!!!

As Lois and I get ready for bed, ur thoughts are very much with our 5 grandchildren, who'll all be starting the new school year at their various schools tomorrow. We're particularly thinking of Sarah's 10-year-old twins, Lily and Jessica, who'll be starting their first English school tomorrow, after the family's 7 years in Australia.

Those twins will find out that English children talk in just "the same funny way that Mum and Dad do", just like our own daughters Alison and Sarah found out in 1985, when we came back from our 3 years in the States.

Life's funny that way, isn't it haha!

flashback to the mid-1980's: our daughters Alison and Sarah,

in their shiny-new school uniforms, preparing for the start of the new School Year

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!