Oh dear - today proves to be quite a bad day. Lois and I spend 3 hours at the county NHS hospital in Redditch for about 30 minutes of actual consultation with a "hippologist" as I call him (incorrectly), who says he can do something for my hip, but we'll see. Promises, promises!
My "hippologist", incidentally, is also what-I-call a neologist - or "knee-ologist". Is there no end to my whimsy? [We can only hope so! - Ed]
You can see how many of the hospital's shiny-new automated systems, designed to make things easier for staff, cause problems for the key demographic in their patient-set: old codgers, many of whom may never have used a computer nor a smartphone nor, in some cases, maybe even a credit card in their lives.
And it's alarming to see queues of old codgers trying to work the parking-ticket machine and pay for parking... or queues of cars backed up at the car-park exit, because some old codger is trying in vain to make the automated barrier go up in the car-park by flashing both sides of his blue "disabled" badge repeatedly at the little screen, with zero effect.
Lois and I begin seriously to think that we will be stuck in the car-park for the night, and we are already starting to think of what food we've still got left over from our packed lunches: just two bananas. Oh dear!
traffic begins to pile up behind an old codger
trying to work the automated parking barrier machine
And no - it isn't me this time who's holding everybody up, in case you're wondering - but what a madness it all is !!!!
And what a crazy world we live in !!!!!
[That's enough madness for today! - Ed]
17:00 And Lois and I certainly need to rest when we get home tonight - after just managing to do the journey back before nightfall, which comes early in the UK at this time of year, just 10 days to the winter solstice - yikes!
Luckily there's a nice cheery email from Steve, our American brother-in-law, to have a laugh at over our Earl Grey tea and muffins.
But after the laughter dies away, there's a serious question in our minds. Were Chancellor of the Exchequer Jeremy Hunt's plans for shrinking the Civil Service influenced by the latest re-run of the 1980's political sitcom "Yes, Minister", which showed a delegation of about 100 civil servants preparing to board a plane bound for the Middle East to accompany the Minister for Administrative Affairs, when he flies off to Qumran to rubber-stamp a done deal with the Qumranis?
"Oh, our accompanying civil service delegation has been pared to the bone", insists Sir Humphrey, the Minister's Private Secretary.
"A group from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, a group from the Department of Trade, one from the Department of Industry, another from the Department of Energy, and there's a Deputy Secretary leading a team from the Cabinet Office, and a group from the Central Office of Information, as well as Sir Humphrey's own team from the Department of Administrative Affairs, private secretaries, liaison department secretaries, officials from the legal department that drew up the contract, the officials who supervised the contract."
What a madness that all was!!!!
And there's another serious question here. Did Jeremy Hunt actually read my blog on the subject, maybe, and decide to take action? In which case I think I'd better weigh my words more carefully before my next blog is published! [We're getting into the realms of fantasy now! - Ed]
20:00 We wind down for bed by watching one of our favourite TV quizzes: Only Connect, which tests lateral thinking.
Some fascinating questions come up in tonight's edition.
Can YOU tell what the following 4 "things" have in common?
One of tonight's two teams, "The Thrifters" (above), draws a blank on this question. But the other team, "The Stitchers" has the answer.
Yes, only if you put an apostrophe in, would these things apply to what they're meant to apply to.
Confused? Well, you will be, after I explain! The title of the "AC/DC Bells" track referred to, "Hells Bells", has no apostrophe in it, but there's an argument that it should have one, if the bells are indeed from hell.
If the name of the London tube station "Barons Court" was indeed inspired by the neighbouring tube station Earl's Court, as it was, then it should definitely have an apostrophe, but the apostrophe is missing.
"Finnegans Wake" should have an apostrophe if it is indeed the wake of Finnegan, as it is. In clue three, referring to the novel "Howards End", the title ought to have an apostrophe in it, if it indeed belongs to the Howard family. In this case it would be "s, followed by an apostrophe", i.e. "Howards' End", because the Howards "are" a plural, aren't they.
See? Simples, isn't it haha !!!!!
And an apostrophe comes up in yet another question tonight.
Can you guess the fourth in this sequence of "things"?
I think you know this one, don't you! Yes, of course, they are a sequence of Stevie Wonder albums from his so-called "Golden Period". And presenter Victoria Coren Mitchell is full of praise, not just for the albums themselves, but for the punctuation in the titles, which is heart-warming.
At the risk of introducing a macabre note, however, I'm just glad that Welsh poet Dylan Thomas isn't alive to be worried by these questions. Do you remember that Thomas died with a question about the placement of apostrophes on his lips, as he finally expired in New York in 1953?
Poor Dylan !!!!!!
I wonder what his question was? Literary authorities seem to be silent on the matter, but we should definitely be told - don't you agree?
And, incredibly, also tonight, there's a question where I can make use of my knowledge of the Hungarian language, which is nice.
And another surprise - presenter Victoria Coren-Mitchell knows enough Hungarian to interpret the first clue.
Who would have thought it? And can you do the other 3 clues?
Yes, you're right of course. The sum in clue 2 is Spanish 45/3 = 15, and has the answer "quince" in Spanish, which is a fruit in English, clue 3 is 8 x 2 = 16 ("seize" in French), and clue 4 is 7+4=11, which is "elf" in German, or a Christmas worker in English.
Fascinating stuff, isn't it! [If you say so! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz!!!!!
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