Thursday, 7 December 2023

Wednesday December 6th 2023

This week is going fast! And Lois and I are already starting to plan for the weekend, when our daughter Sarah will be bringing the twins, 10-year-old Lily and Jessica, for all 3 of them to stay with us here in Malvern on Saturday night, while Sarah's husband Francis will be getting on with his latest DIY projects in the family's temporary rental home in Alcester.

flashback to last Saturday: Lois showcases the Christmas display
outside our daughter Sarah and family's rental home in Alcester

The twins have made such a good job of decorating their Christmas tree that we wonder if we should get our own tree out ready for the weekend, so that they can have a go at that one. Sounds like a good plan, doesn't it, until we remember we have no idea where our Christmas tree is. 

We're sure we brought it with us when we downsized to Malvern from Cheltenham last October, but we haven't seen the tree since. My bet is that it's probably under one of the beds, but we'll see! There's a bunch of other stuff under our beds, to put it mildly!!!!

Help !!!!!

Christmas is a time for families, isn't it. But we should sometimes pause to reflect that it's not all sweetness and light for everybody, is it -  like this family in the local Worcestershire village of North Piddle, reported on Onion News.

NORTH PIDDLE, WORCESTERSHIRE —Admitting they were sorting through their heartbreak weeks after the tragedy, members of Sarson family struggled to get through their first Christmas since their father returned, sources confirmed Tuesday.

“Honestly, we’ve tried to just soldier through and enjoy what we can of baking cookies and putting on some Christmas music, but it’s hard to ignore how hollow all that is when we know that Howard is really here again,” said a tearful Claire Sarson, 36, stressing that her husband’s presence was especially painful around this time of year, when there were so many festive symbols of the many happy memories the family had shared before his sudden and devastating reappearance.

“God, last year’s Christmas was so relaxed and carefree. We took it for granted that those times without him would last forever. But now everywhere I look—from the shouting in the TV room to the six-pack in the fridge—I see reminders looming in the background. Frankly, I don’t know if we’ll ever put the pieces back together again.”

At press time, Sarson added that she was sure the family would get used to her husband being there eventually, but that their life would never quite feel the same.

Yes, all of us, let's not forget the Sarson family this Christmas, when we're all having fun!

09:00 And it's going to be another  busy day for Lois and me today. We are both 77, and we've been retired for nearly 18 years - and yet, we seem to be busier than ever, which is weird. 

flashback to last weekend: Lois and I enjoy an increasingly 
rare moment of leisure amid our unbelievably busy lives

We used to smile to ourselves when my dear late mother was still around, and we were her principal carers, whenever she said she had had a busy day. We used to think it was just that she took longer to do everything than she used to, and that she needed to take a rest between each so-called "job".

Now, 20 years later, we realise that my mother was right all along, and old people ARE genuinely "busier than ever". Time. with the passing years, has brought us greater depths of wisdom, that's for sure!

We're not the only busy old codgers, either. It's pretty general, when you get to our age - did you see the report in The Onion recently, based on a study published in the local Bell End Village's  Parish Newsletter?


retired local dad, Gerald Jessop realises he's forgotten
to clear the mildew out of his bird-feeder

BELL END, WORCESTERSHIRE  —A recent survey published in Bell End Parish Magazine indicates that 95 percent of the village's retired dads are in fact "busier than ever," despite the absence of meaningful, full-time employment.

"I tell you, I've been spending so much time getting f***ing plugs for the house's unused electrical outlets that I hardly even have time to make lists of other things to do," said former heart surgeon Gerald Jessop, 65, who admitted that he would like to be able to relax and enjoy his retirement, but with all the pictures to rearrange in his house it is nearly impossible.

"And don't get me started on my how many hours I have to spend cleaning the mildew out of the bird feeder. My god, that's a full-time job in, and of, itself."

According to the survey, the five percent of the village's retired fathers who do not consider themselves busier than ever reportedly do not have hedges, drawers full of loose batteries, ants getting in through the foundation, or a basement that can be partially converted into some kind of room.

And I guess that Gerald's problem must be the explanation for mine and Lois's problem this morning. Why else would we find that we are both out of breath when we finally sit down in our dentist's waiting-room at 10 o'clock for our 6-monthly check-ups?

a typical dentist's waiting-room

Exactly why has it been such a rush this morning? And why do we only always get there just in the nick of time? 

Well, looking back, first we had to take a shower - we made quite a mess in it, and unfortunately, according to our "rota", it was my turn to clean up afterwards - damn! 

Then we had to dress and have breakfast etc, and then I had to walk round the estate to pick up our car from its temporary parking spot, and then I had to de-ice the car windows, which were all frosted up - not a lot, is it, but after that I suddenly looked at my watch, and saw to my horror that it was already 9:45 am and we would have to drive over to the dentists at once, so the two of us literally tumbled into the car and drove like crazy people into Barnard's Green. 

flashback to July, and our last visit to James, our dentist
- us sitting patiently in the waiting-room and looking at
the official-looking "dentists certificates" on the wall - impressive or what!

It's been all rush rush rush this morning, and it's been just total madness, there's no other word for it !!!! 

Fortunately, James, our dentist, couldn't find any real problems with our teeth, so we're both okay for the next 6 months. However he did tell me not to brush my teeth too vigorously, which sounds like a warning that they're already half falling out - call me suspicious if you like haha, but that recurring dream I get could be a genuine premonition, I've just realised! 

Also, I sense an unspoken war here between James and his hygienist Traci - perhaps a struggle for power inside the practice? James says to not brush too vigorously or your teeth will fall out, while Traci told me a month ago, to "brush more vigorously if you want to get rid of all that plaque". 

It's all a bit of a madness, isn't it, if we're honest !!!!

12:30 Our landscape gardeners, Adrian and his brother arrive with a couple of big bags of topsoil loam, to finish off our current project - yesterday they set us up with raised beds that we finally decided should be 30 inches high and not the 20 inches that they were planned to be in the original quote: hence the extra topsoil that will be required to finish off filling the raised beds and the flower beds etc.

After an hour they finish up here, and go off to start on somebody else's "dream", but for now, thanks for everything, guys!



our new yin-and-yang style back garden, complete at last!

It's our patented yin-and-yang style garden. Seductive, curvy and feminine on the left, and masculine and "business-y" on the right, the perfect union we feel. 

Our landscaper Adrian had shown us his pattern book and he tried to interest us in "The Kardashian" for the left-hand side, but we decided to go for the "cheapo" option, the "Hasnip", based on the curves of local amateur pantomime star, Charlotte Hasnip. It was a lot less expensive, and I'm sure that "The Hasnip" will be just as satisfying for planting things in as the more expensive and higher-maintenance "The Kardashian". Let's hope so, anyway!

Now all we need is a shed !!!! 

D&M Sheds in Evesham do a nice 6'x4' shed that we're interested in at the moment, it's called "The Dylan Thomas", and we're thinking about ordering it seriously, what's more, would you believe!


"The Dylan Thomas" - a 4'x6' garden shed,
currently being advertised by D&M Sheds of Evesham

D&M say that that "The Dylan Thomas" is roomy enough to write world-class poetry in, which is MY personal bottom-line. Do you remember that documentary shown recently on BBC4, all about Welsh poet Dylan Thomas and his "writing shed" in Laugharne, Camarthenshire in South Wales?




flashback to last month: a BBC4 documentary reveals
the secrets of Welsh poet Dylan Thomas's "writing shed"

So, anyway! According to D&M, I can definitely write my world-class poetry in our new shed, when it comes, hopefully. D&M more or less guaranteed that there and then, over the phone, when I rang them.

However, Steve, our American brother-in-law has come up with some additional suggestions for our planned shed - that it could also be useful both (1) as storage, when the weather gets too cold for them, for any future garden-gnome collections that Lois and I may decide to "adopt" as our new "hobby" (if we've got the time that is!!!!), and also (2) as a place for studying the gnomes' principal language, Sindarin, as spoken in the garden gnomes' homeland of Arda, Middle Earth.

We might even be able to use the shed to hold meetings, inside, of our putative local U3A Intermediate Sindarin group, that's being proposed locally, although we might have to put an upper limit on membership. No more than ten, maybe? But let me know what YOU think - remember it's only 6 ft x 4ft, so not luxurious in any sense of the word. 

Have a think, won't you, and drop me a postcard.

a typical garden-gnome collection, here
being showcased by comedian Bill Bailey

Middle Earth, as defined by celebrity author JJR Tolkien -
"where the gnomes come from"

I'd better check with D&M Sheds on this one, I think, to see whether these new requirements fall within "The Dylan Thomas" 's "spec" (shed-men's universal abbreviation for 'specification', would you believe!), but I'll get back to you - so watch this space!

I wonder......!!!!

20:00 There's some "telly" to watch tonight, but not much, thankfully, because we're both falling asleep on the couch half the time - what a truly busy day we've had! But a very satisfying one - our back garden is really coming along now, that's for sure, and at last now we know what local woman Susan Tager meant in her recent newsletter!

Initially we had thought the same as Susan, but looking back, everything has worked out just fine for us, exactly as it did for Susan, which is nice!
extract from local woman Susan Tager's recent newsletter

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!


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