14:15 It's arrived - the day of the fortnightly Skype meeting of the local U3A Intermediate Danish group that Lois and I run.
Lois and I are both a bit sleepy, because we're usually in bed at this time of day, but we log in early anyway in the hope of getting through some of the awful chatting (in English) about old-codger issues etc, so we can get on with the Danish stuff.
Eventually our other group members log in, and I sense a slight nervousness in the air, because yes, we all know that, coming up today in our current Dan Sommerdahl murder mystery, there's going to be another awkward sexual encounter between the troubled amateur crime-sleuth Dan, and his cheeky wife Marianne, whom Dan calls "my Shetland pony".
- local police chief Flemming Torp, who shares Marianne with Dan, and makes up the third person in the series's iconic
Local Police chief Flemming, seen here enjoying an
intimate moment with Dan's wife Marianne
And in the pages our group is reading today, there are quite a few embarrassing paragraphs to translate, which is par for the course.
You remember this scene from the TV version don't you? You know, the one where Dan comes in from his early morning jog round Christianssund, on a "natural high", and he is desperate to have sex with his wife Marianne? And she pushes him off her with a "HELL, NO!", because he "stinks like the whole Danish national football team after a game", in Marianne's words.
I don't know - those crazy Danes eh?
And in reply, Dan asks Marianne, somewhat petulantly we feel, about how exactly Marianne knows what the Danish national football team smells like, after a game.
Well, Dan's right - I think we should be told, don't you?
16:00 The Skype meeting ends, and as usual, Lois and I collapse in a heap on the couch - it's surprisingly taxing trying to keep order in our rowdy, bawdy online chat-sessions with our little group, and trying to keep them focussed. You would not BELIEVE!
a typical rowdy, bawdy U3A group meeting online: this one's
the local U3A Medical Science Group in Browns Bay, New Zealand
Nevertheless, as Lois and I wind down after the meeting, wearily drinking our Earl Grey tea and scoffing a couple of currant buns, we have a couple of good news items to celebrate today.
Firstly, Adrian, our friendly local landscaper, is definitely coming with his brother next week to make a reality out of our "yin and yang" vision for our tiny back garden. You know, feminine, curvy and seductive on the left-hand side and male, straight, "no-nonsense" and "business-y" on the right hand side - do you remember?
our garden as it looks for the moment: a blank canvas
for our landscaper Adrian to paint on (only figuratively, of course!)
our "yin and yang" vision for our tiny back garden, masculine and
"no-nonsense" on the right, and feminine, curvy and seductive on the left
Exciting or what !!!! And Adrian's going to be making up the raised beds at our "business end" out of
no-nonsense 8'6" x 10" wooden "railway sleepers" - remember?!!!!
Yes, our tiny back garden, at the moment, is virgin territory for Adrian, like 16-year-old Liesl was, in "The Sound of Music" for Rolfe, the local Nazi telegram-delivery guy, in the song "Sixteen Going On Seventeen".
Don't tell me you don't remember THAT ?
friendly local Nazi telegram-delivery guy Rolfe (Daniel Truhitte)
with Liesl von Trapp (Charmian Carr) in "The Sound of Music" (1965)
[That's enough stupid 'memory tests'! - Ed]
Another piece of good news that we get today is that we may be able to spend Christmas with both of our daughters - Alison (48) and Sarah (46) - and their families, at Alison's crumbling Victorian mansion in Hampshire, which will be nice. It's the first time that all of us have been in the UK at Christmas since 2011, incredibly. Ali and family were in Denmark from 2012 to 2018, and Sarah and family were in Australia from 2015 till May this year.
Luckily Lois and I have already ordered our 2023 Christmas gear - pyjamas, jumpers and funny hats etc - you know! It's just for the grandchildren's benefit, but maybe they're starting to get a bit old for that kind of malarkey - well, we'll see, hopefully.
Unusually, to make a change, I think we were both elves last year, you know the kind of thing.
our last year's elf costumes, being modelled
here by "professional" elves
This year we're going to be more traditional - as Mr and Mrs Claus.
And, also today, there's a third bit of good news about health matters, although coming with some balancing bad news.
Good news - I get my long-awaited appointment to see a specialist about my hip problem in a couple of weeks' time at Redditch, but also - bad news - an appointment tomorrow at our local doctor's surgery for my annual blood-pressure test. For 7 years I took daily pills for "slightly raised" blood-pressure until eventually my GP decided I didn't need them - because my blood pressure was too low, apparently.
What a madness that was, and what a waste of money for the NHS. However, I suspect that my long-standing "white coat syndrome" may have played a part in my original faulty diagnosis.
Well, we'll see.
20:30 By coincidence we wind down for bed with an ITV "Tonight" documentary about hips and knees with gorgeous, pouting TV doctor, Zoe Williams.
We all love our hips, I think, don't we, but they can be a problem as you get older, no doubt about that. You know, when 70 years or so of moving your hips or knees around, some would say somewhat unwisely or intemperately, however enjoyable at the time, finally begin to take their toll.
Tonight's programme is a useful reminder to me not to neglect physical exercise as a way of alleviating hip pain.
This woman has upped her exercises she does, and is already, within a couple of weeks, seeing the benefits.
The obstacle is that the things we do sitting or lying down are so much more fun, aren't it - go on, admit it!
About 6 years ago, Lois and I saw a TV programme which I've never forgotten. It was called "Growing Old Disgracefully", and was all about a writer, Diana Athill, who had never really exercised much - she had eventually got hold of a specially adapted car, which made driving easy, and she admitted that she had found out years ago that she couldn't rely on her legs, and that the things she'd had most fun with in life "were all done either sitting or lying down", and I know what she means.
flashback to 2017: we watch a documentary about
memoir-writer Diana Athill, who admitted she had
always had her most fun in life when sitting or lying down
Diana had been a
bit of a bad bad girl all her life, despite her privileged upbringing. And like
my favourite cartoonist, the Dane Morten Ingemann, she was very interested in
middle-aged or older people. And like Ingemann, who depicts elderly people
engaging in various shamelessly disgusting activities, she instinctively rejected
negative feelings about old age (and mortality).
a typical cartoon from Danish artist Morten Ingemann - 'Why can't
you lick your finger, like everybody else does when they're reading?'
- what madness !!!!!
Diana loved to read, paint, and learn. She thought that, by reading, we hear someone's voice, even though he / she may be long since dead, like with Byron's letters, for example.
Diana loved to read, and "hear" the author's voice
When painting, one has to start looking carefully at everyday objects in the same way as a real painter, and this ability can help you get through dreary times. She loved to be learning things, and she cited with respect Goya, who, even as very old man, said he was still living and learning.
She loved to keep learning things, and she cited Goya with respect (due)
Diana loved to paint - because it gets you to start
looking carefully at all everyday objects and people, like this nude
Diana knew that one's best years
are always in the future - in one's 80s and 90s and beyond! In other words, the
best is yet to come. In fact it was only when she was over 80 years old that
Diana herself became a respected author.
After a long
life marked by promiscuity and affairs with married men (which - please note - I personally don't necessarily recommend!), Diana moved into a
nursing home some years ago, because she no longer had relatives, and she did
not want to be a burden on neighbours and friends. She told viewers that the
nursing home was a great place - the only problem was that "there were no male
residents".
She admitted
that all old people will at some point realize that they can no longer rely on
their legs, and must get about with the help of walking sticks and so on. But
if in one way or another you can manage to throw yourself down into the
driver's seat of your car, she said you become young again, and everything returns to
normal - you have the freedom to go wherever you want.
She had not given anyone any instructions about her death and
burial. She said that the whole thing had nothing to do with her! It was
something that the bereaved must arrange, in any way they want.
Fascinating stuff!!!
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!!
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