Yes, friends, have YOU chosen YOUR Halloween costume yet? You could go as local man Mark Richards, although you might not be the only one!
Richards was way ahead of the game last year, as this story from the local Onion News's popular "From the Archives" column reminds us this morning. And here are the facts in full - lightly edited by Yours Truly for content, style etc (!).
Do you remember this "doozy of a splash" - just turn to page 94??!!!
Kudos Richards for "breaking the mould" !!!! And also for giving me and my light-to-moderate wife Lois some pointers about what to expect locally this Friday, when Halloween dawns again. There may be a lot of "copycat Richardses" floating around our local semi-leafy streets in Liphook, Hampshire this year, but we'll see!
me and my light-to-moderate wife Lois - a recent picture
For us, this Friday will be our first Halloween in our new hometown of Liphook, Hampshire, and we don't know how many trick-or-treaters to expect. However we've stocked up on fun-size mini-chocolate bars just in case.
Our next-door neighbours seem to be adding to their front-garden Halloween display (!) on an almost daily basis, and we know also that our 12-year-old twin granddaughters, Lily and Jessica, 9000 miles away in the northern suburbs of Perth, Western Australia, are planning something horrible when they go trick-or-treating in nearby Eglinton with close friend Emily. So we'll see - watch this space!!!
[I can't wait! - Ed]
flashback to yesterday: Yours Truly (in the sun-glasses!) showcases our next-door
neighbours' Halloween display of a - the giant spider-web with two giant spiders,
and of a Guardian-reading skeleton on a garden chair - spooky !!!!!
Friday will also be a big day, but hopefully not a "horrible" one (!), for my little sister Gill (68), a budding author, whose monologue "A Nice Cup of Tea" will be performed at London's niche "Glitch Theatre" near Waterloo train station that night. And Lois and I have learned this week that Gill herself will be in the audience, accompanied by family members, to hear it debut'ed live by members of the all-women Yellow Coat Theatre Group.
Will there be shouts of "Authoress! Authoress!" at the end of the performance? There should be, if there's any justice in the world, that's for sure!
(top) a typical evening at London's niche "Gliche Theatre" and (bottom) my little sister Gill's
social media post from 3 weeks ago announcing the first performance of her new monologue
Exciting times!!!! "Break a leg!", those women !!!!
For me, here in Liphook this wet Wednesday, however, it's going to be one of those truly wonderful days, when the weather's appalling but we can't go out anyway because we're waiting in for delivery/collection guys to call at our house. In a word, it's a chance to relax on the sofa or just amble around the house doing this and that, without feeling guilty about it, which is my kind of day to a tee.
"More cake, vicar?" - Lois and me on the couch: another recent picture
Yes, we can't go out anyway. We're expecting delivery this morning, from Argos, of a shiny new wall-clock for the kitchen, and in the afternoon Royal Mail will be coming to collect our previous shiny new wall-clock, from Amazon, which we're sending back to Amazon because it only works for a few minutes before stopping - what madness !!!!
So today, it's a case of "one in, one out", a bit like the Government's new immigration 'policy' (!).
And due to an odd quirk in timings, we're able to be in bed when we want to be, without having to wait around for doorbell to ring. In theory Argos could deliver any time from 7:50 am (yikes!) but we get a text from them saying they won't be here till around 9:30am, so no rush to get out of bed this morning.
(left) a text from our Argos delivery driver who's bringing our shiny new
kitchen wall clock, and (right) me showcasing the clock "in situ", later in the day
And although Royal Mail could in theory ring our doorbell any time this afternoon between about 12:30 pm and 4:30 pm to collect the old clock, they actually come soon after 2 o'clock, leaving us free to spend the rest of the afternoon in bed for "statutory nap-time", so what's not to like haha !!!!
[Is that all you two "noggins" have done today, Colin? - Ed]
Well, seeing as you're asking, absolutely not, no!
We even find time to catch a TV show in the evening, would you believe - a retrospective by Welsh singer Tom Jones, recalling some of the highlights of his career.
Sitting here tonight under the watchful eye of our shiny new wall-clock, Lois and I hadn't really "clocked" [no pun intended!!!!] that after a run of pulsating hit records in the 1960's, Tom Jones' career went into something of a doldrums in the 1970's and early 1980's, when he concentrated on doing live shows, and mediocre "TV specials" filmed in exotic areas of the world, all bringing in shedloads of momney. But the hit records had stopped coming. His songwriter-manager Gordon Mills had stopped writing, Tom says, and had stopped even looking for songs for him.
Also, despite having this great powerful voice, he felt he was being made into more of a sex-symbol than a singing star, particularly for "women of a certain age". And he became drawn into this murky world, and encouraged his female fans, by autographing their knickers when they took them off for him, or picking them up and showcasing them when they threw them on stage during his act. These fans would fight each other to jump up and mop his sweaty brow during a show, and, if lucky, get their reward of a lingering kiss from Tom.
What madness !!!!
Escape from this dark world (!) came when his son and daughter-in-law took over his management. They advised him to ignore all the knickers on offer, and just carry on singing as normal (!), because all that mayhem was "cheapening" his talent as a great singing voice.
His daughter-in-law even took on the press, objecting to anything suggestive or salacious in their reviews etc.
Well done, that woman!!!! And the hit records also then began to come back, starting with Tom's exciting twist on the Prince hit "Kiss".
I know, however, how those "women of a certain age" must have felt in Tom's audience.
As a student at Sheffield in the late 1960's I attended a live concert at City Hall by Northern Irish singer Clodagh Rodgers, then on a national tour with Gene Pitney, and I was in the front row in a 13-shilling seat! I felt very strongly that Clodagh was giving me a "come on" look, and was sorely tempted to throw my socks onto the stage. Luckily, my friend Paul was sitting with me, and he argued strongly against the socks idea, saying it would cheapen not just me but Clodagh too, so, in effect, wiser counsels prevailed - probably for the best!
(left, centre) a poster and a social media memory of Clodagh Rodgers'
national 1970 tour with Gene Pitney, and (right) me as a student
at Sheffield, where I had to be "restrained from throwing my socks on
stage during Clodagh's performance at City Hall" - what madness!!!
What a crazy world we live in !!!!
Fascinating stuff, though, isn't it!
[If you say so! - Ed]
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!
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