Danskcolin: Wednesday June 3rd 2026 "Dentists and their new 'high-tech' methods- it's a lethal mixture, isn't it!"

Yes, Friends, I don't know if you've visited YOUR dentist recently?

No? I thought so! Easier to 'put it off', isn't it, because you never know what they're going to discover next - like this local dentist in today's local Onion News - see my 'potted version' right here, for your convenience!

Kudos, that dentist!!!!

And reading that story this morning, here in semi-detached Liphook, Hampshire, brings a anxious look of fear to the faces of me and my wife Lois - no question about that!!!!

me and my wife Lois - a recent picture

And our look of semi-amused terror at today's news is because, by complete coincidence, today is the much-feared day of our 6 monthly check-up at the premises of our Portuguese 'Kiwi' dentist, Jose, and his hygienist Lisa. We're right to be looking terrified, because it turns out that I've got to have a filling right in the hard-to-reach back of my mouth, and Lois has to go back for another session with Lisa tomorrow about some supposed 'gum issue', would you believe!

What madness modern dentistry is, isn't it!

Of course the real terror will be when we get to pick up their bill, and this time, I'm going to demand a pain-killing injection before they tell me the amount, to ease some of the torment haha!!!!!

(above) our local dental surgery, with our Portuguese 'kiwi' dentist, Jose, and his

hygienist Lisa, and (below me in the waiting room while Lois is being 'done'

- what a madness it all is, isn't it!!!!

There's no real way of enjoying a session at the dentist, is there, and there has been a feeling of ill-disguised tension in our house for the previous 30 minutes, before we take our courage in both hands, and venture into Liphook's tiny town centre to take our seats in the waiting-room - no disguising that!

To try and lighten the mood, we've been wearing our old "[Brian] Lemming of the BDA" (British Dental Association) tee-shirts in bed for a couple of nights.

It's kind of like a reminder of those times when Lois and I were younger, and the dental trade was run by 'The Mob', and you never knew whether you'd get shot or kidnapped during your 'check-up' (!). Remember some of those terrifying TV series, like "The Unbiteables", that we all used to watch, as teenagers, back in the 1970's, starring Eric Idle as Lemming?

Happy days!!!!!

Jose, our dentist, and Lisa, Jose's hygienist, have noticed that Lois and I are both 'a bit long in the tooth' [no pun intended!!!!], and the two of them, with their usual sensitivity [again, no pun intended!!!] avoid too many references to some of our fillings 'having been there for a long time', which is a nice touch!

At least tonight, Lois and I will be able to dispense with the tee-shirts, and, instead, be dazzled by each other's smiles, thanks to hygienist Lisa's work with her so-called "polisher", which will be a pleasant change !!!

flashback to June 2025, and our last visit to see Jose and Lisa, when we were

looking a lot more youthful - a year younger in fact: you do the maths haha!!!

Yes, Lois and I may be a couple of old 'codgers' (!) - "guilty as charged" haha (!!), but there's another old couple even older, in Northern Ireland, as we discover when we settle down on the couch, and catch up with last night's programme in this year's Springwatch series, which takes a look at the state of nature and wildlife in the UK.

And who knew that, just like people, trees can be male or female (but with no "non-binaries" as far as we know haha!!!), and that 'tree couples' with the male somehow managing to 'pollinate' the female even after hundreds or even thousands of years of 'marriage'? It's total madness, like everything in nature, but a shot in the arm for Lois and me, who've only been married for a mere 54 years, and a definite encouragement to "keep at it" (!!!!).

Presenters Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan found this dear old 'Darby and Joan' of the tree world, a delightful pair of yews, on the Crom Estate in Northern Ireland. Awwwwww!!!!

Awwww!!! Sweet!!!!!!

As an interesting detail [???? - Ed], Lois and I have never measured our circumference when we're together, but I suspect it's less than that of that yew-tree couple and their so-called '150 metres', especially after our latest attempt at dieting (!!!!).

This dear old pair of trees are thought to be between 400 and a thousand years old, Michaela tells us. The trees were definitely there, and pollinating, when the nearby Crom Castle was built back in 1617, but they could be a lot older than that, naturalists believe.

the ruins of the 17th century Crom Castle, in County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland

These two trees on the Crom Estate are the oldest trees in Northern Ireland, but not the oldest in the UK, an honour which goes to the Fortingall yew tree in a churchyard in Perthshire, Scotland, a tree that is believed to be between three and seven thousand years old, and may be the oldest tree in the whole of Europe, probably germinating in the Stone Age, as Michaela points out.

What madness, isn't it !!!

the Fortingall yew tree in a churchyard in Perthshire, Scotland,

possibly Europe's oldest tree, at 3000 - 7000 years old

Presenter Chris says there are a couple of trees near his home in Hampshire, England, which are 2000 years old, and he goes there sometimes to sit under them, to be 'calmed' and 'just to be humbled by them' and put in his place, he says. After all, we're all just tiny blips in the life of these organisms.

It's an activity that Lois and I had never heard of. It's called 'forest bathing', for which you go, on your own, or with your 'squeeze', and sit under some incredibly old tree and just contemplate, in an atmosphere of total calm. Michaela and Chris decide to try it out.

Michaela, however, confesses that she normally does her 'forest bathing' with a twist, which shocks the strait-laced Chris. "You're supposed to do it absolutely naked!", she claims, although she promises she isn't going to 'strip off' during tonight's show, which is a relief!

Oops! TMI, Michaela - too much information!!!

And as Chris comments, "If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise, I can tell you! Strachan naked!!!"

Oh dear!

But this segment of the programme tonight is a bit of a worry to Lois and me, because we often take our near-daily walk in nearby tree-covered Radford Park. So far we haven't been confronted by any 'lesser spotted naked forest-bathers' (!), but it may only be a matter of time if Michaela's so-called 'fad' catches on, and becomes the 'new normal', to put it mildly!!