Danskcolin: Thursday June 4th 2026 "Do YOU know someone who's doing something weird today?"

Yes, Friends, do YOU know somebody, maybe a special friend or close relative, who's busy doing something weird today that you don't really understand the purpose of?

It happens from time to time, doesn't it, and there's a real "doozy" of an example on the front page of today's Onion News, to put it mildly!!!!

Poor Winfield!!!! This purely local guy, who just happens to live just across the street from Yours Truly, has a busy enough life already, without all that 'lawn-work' malarkey, if we're to believe our neighbours!

The story, however, brings a welcome, if vapid, smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois this morning, here in leafy Liphook, Hampshire, as we take our near-daily walk, which today takes us over the soggy, windswept "hallowed turf" of local soccer heroes Liphook United, where we dodge the worst of the rain for a quick 'canoodle' (!) in team coach Matthew Grindle (59)'s so-called "management dug-out", no question about that!

Lois and me this morning, taking our near-daily walk, which takes us over

the rain and wind-affected 'hallowed turf' of local soccer heroes, Liphook United

And Winfield's purely local story is soon picked up by 'the nationals' - the Times and Telegraph etc, and, on an admittedly 'slow news' day, dominates the early morning headlines on the BBC's World Service, so kudos, that man - putting Liphook, and East Hampshire too, 'on the map', where it surely belongs, if there's any justice in the world, that's for sure!

[Stop 'wittering', Colin! - Ed]

Like area man Winfield, Lois and I, too, got up early today to make a start on our incredibly packed schedule on this, Lois's last day as a septuagenarian, if you can believe that!

Yes, unbelievably, Lois will be turning 80 tomorrow - you do the maths !!!!!

some early pictures of Lois in the late 1940's or thereabouts: (left) on the swing

outside her family's pre-fab, and (right) ringed, 'chewing the fat' and generally

'putting the post-WW2 world to rights', with some of her little friends - awwwwww!!!!

And as part of our preparation for 'the big day' tomorrow, as well as our near-daily walk (see above for the sordid details!), we somehow find time today to (1) go to Lois's local hair-stylist Anna's "Haircraft" salon for her pre-birthday "trim", (2) shoot over to nearby Haslemere to pick up some CookShop ready-meals for Saturday's "big tea", (3) get home in time for a delivery of the celebration groceries, and finally (4), pop round to our local dentist's surgery for Lois's second session with dental hygienist Lisa, who wants to perfect Lois's "birthday smile".

(above) Lois's session with her stylist Anna, (centre) for a pre-birthday "trim",

(centre) getting the 'celebration groceries' etc from Cook Shop in Haslemere and

a home-delivery from Ocado supermarket, and (below) our local dental surgery

for Lois's session with hygienist Lisa (left) and dental nurse Aryana

Busy busy busy!!!

And the burning question is, once more, "How did we ever find time to go to work, back in the day?" !!!!!!!

The worst thing is that our afternoon in bed, for "statutory nap-time" is reduced, today, to a slender two hours, which is a pity, but that's the reality of life for busy pensioners in today's Britain, that's for sure!!!!!

At least pensioners get a more varied life than the UK's incredible stag-beetles, which is a comfort (!), as we learn from tonight's edition of Springwatch, the series which takes a seasonal look at the state of nature and wildlife in the UK, with the help of a team of presenters, led by Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan.

Stag beetles, we learn, are mainly confined to southern and south-eastern areas of the UK. They grow to an impressive 3 inches (7.5cm) in length, but they have to spend almost all of their lives in rotten wood, which must be annoying, to put it mildly!

one of tonight's "programme props" showcasing the

life cycle of an average British stag beetle

Stag beetles spend years underground as larvae just 'poncing about', and then, when, as pupae, they finally hatch out, they only get to live in the real world for such a little time - a few weeks to a couple of months. And, to make it worse, their mandibles are, by now, so huge that they can't eat any more, so they have to live off any energy they've managed to store before they hatch out.

Poor stag beetles!!!!

So a life with no eating, then! Perhaps just as well, as eating would be a distraction, because the stag beetle's main job in his short life is now just to mate with a beetle of the opposite sex, and then die happy, if a bit hungry, so fair enough!

stag beetles mating - JD! (job done!!!)

For Welsh naturalist Iolo Williams, however, it's a dream come true, on tonight's programme, to see his first ever stag beetle - they aren't common outside the south and south-east of England.