Monday October 12th 2026 "Does one door open for YOU when another one closes? Annoying, isn't it - especially in winter!!!!"

Yes, Friends - in our house, our doors can be annoying with their "confounded" (!), and simultaneous, opening and shutting! The draughts in here are "something wicked", some of these autumnal evenings!!!!

One thing's for certain - you just can't keep doors out of the headlines! And just glance at this morning's Onion News if you want chapter and verse!!!!!

It's all a bit mad, isn't it, if I'm honest! 

But these stories, and others in the paper's popular "Door News Supplement" (!), certainly bring a brief, but broad, smile to the faces of me and my wife Lois today, here in semi-hospitable Liphook, Hampshire - no question about that!

my wife Lois and me - a recent picture

For sure, however, the whole subject of 'doors' is very much on my minds today, no doubt about that!

We're entering, like, the fourth day without a functioning door-bell on our front-door, and we're tortured by the thought of how many people have looked at our front door and just gone away, maybe? Not to mention, wrestling with the question of how many of those callers would have been welcome, and how many were "the other sort", as we euphemistically call them!!!!

And it's crucial today, because we're expecting a visit from Matthew, our gardener, who's promised to clear the "jungle" in our tiny back garden, so we can get to our so-called garden sheds would you believe, which would be nice!

On top of that, tomorrow, delivery firm DPD is set to deliver our long-awaited new electric blanket, from Dreamland, their popular "Cosy Dreamer Superior Cotton Mattress Warmer-King With Dual Controllers" - bit of a mouthful, so Lois and plan to just call it "the blanket", for short, when we're, for example, saying to each other "Did you forget to put the blanket on again?!!!!". 

Makes sense to us!!!

Crucially, it's the sort of electric blanket you can keep on all night - at low level only, but it can be a comfort these cold autumnal nights, when the temperature outside in Liphook can fall to as low as 46F (8C) - brrrrr!!!!!

Dreamland's popular "Cosy Dreamer Superior Cotton Mattress 

Warmer-King With Dual Controllers" - bit of a "mouthful" but it does the job!

When Lois and I were young, back in the 1950's, if people wanted to start a nice roaring fire in the grate, or in a wood on a camping holiday perhaps, the Scout manual always instructed them to "rub two sticks together". 

And if you didn't have any sticks, you presumably had to "rub two scouts together" - and hence the expression used, when talking of relative income levels in those crazy, far-off days, that a couple were "so poor, that they didn't have two scouts to rub together".

And when Lois and I get cold in bed during the night, we don't have any scouts around, so we just have to manage with each other, which is okay in moderation, but the inevitable friction seems to have had a "withering" effect on our skin. Or is that just old age? I think we should be told, don't you!

I wonder....!

Otherwise it's a bit of a quiet day this Monday for Lois and me, which is a rare treat! Usually, it's just "busy busy busy - no peace for the wicked" sort of a day, all day every day!!!! 

Did I tell you that I'd recently received the gift of a very special mug - "Best Grandad Ever!", which came as a nice surprise. I didn't even know I'd been nominated, would you believe, so that was very nice! And yes, today, (see picture above, right) unbelievably, there's only one "job" on our calendar for once - see above, which is weird to reflect on, to put it mildly (!).

So Lois and I find ourselves, unusually, hanging round a bit today, Monday, waiting for our gardener Matthew to call, his first visit since May, which is mad! Then, when he calls, we have to open up the garage for him etc etc, and then we have to keep an eye on him, from the window, in case he signals that he wouldn't say no to a cup of tea, which is all mad too!

So once again, it's "Busy busy busy!" - and another non-stop day for us, as usual - so no change there !!!

Luckily, at least, we have just a very short-and-simple "to-do-list" for Matthew today, i.e. "Can you clear a path through our little 'suburban jungle' so we can get to both of our two sheds, if you please" (!). 

Our neighbours here in Liphook, who, privately, have dubbed us "possibly Liphook's busiest-looking retired couple", often give us a bit of gentle "ribbing" about being "the only house in the street with more than one shed" (!). The subtext of all this friendly "neighbourly banter" is, of course, a reference to the famous arts documentary - or was it a "arts mockumentary" (!), all about modern British composer "Gordon 'Two Sheds' Jackson", from back in the 1970's.

You know, the discussion that ended up with that notorious live "punch-up" in the studio - you must remember!

internationally famous modern British composer, Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson.

being interviewed about his sheds during a BBC TV late night arts show

And here we see the moment when Jackson is ejected from the studio 

after ignoring all questions about his shed or sheds, and 

insisting on speaking about his music - what madness, wasn't it !!!!! 

However, if you saw the programme, back in the day, you'll  remember that Jackson didn't actually have two sheds, despite his famous 'moniker' - at that stage it was simply an idea. And Lois and I remind our neighbours of that salutary fact, every time they call either of us "Two Sheds" (!),

Whether Jackson eventually got around to buying and installing the extra shed, and whether he ever wrote his highly-anticipated "Second-Shed Symphony" or was it "Second Sympathy - The Shed", neither Lois and  I can quite remember (sorry, old age again!) - isn't clear.

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!