Friday, September 14 2018

10:00 I spend the morning moving furniture and other things from the dining room back into the living room - Ross came yesterday and cleaned the carpets in the living room and the hallway, and these carpets are now completely dry, thank goodness. Afterwards I clear up in the backyard - I fill 4 big black plastic sacks with the branches I cut yesterday off our tall hedges at the bottom of the garden. Busy busy busy!

12:00 I drive over to our local dental clinic. I have an appointment today at 12:40 with Ursula, our dental clinic's lovely hygienist - the appointment that was cancelled 5 weeks ago because I had had a tooth pulled out on the previous day, and my mouth and gum were still a little sensitive, to say the least.

Ursula is charming, as usual, but she always disappears as soon as the appointment is over. Where does she disappear to? In the past, I had the theory that she needed to have a lie down after the horror of scraping all the tartar off my teeth.

My latest theory is that she has to throw up after every session. I was reading about a similar situation the other day in one of Morten Ingemann's comic strips. The Dane, Ingemann is my favourite cartoonist, that's for sure. He is especially interested in ugly, overweight, middle aged or older people, the kind of people rarely give attention by most cartoonists.

The Dane, Morten Ingemann, is my favourite cartoonist

In a recent comic strip, I saw a ugly middle-aged couple who were lingering a while in their bed after having had intercourse. The woman tells the man that sex with him is like a ride on the roller coaster. The man is initially delighted with the woman's review and it is only later when the woman elaborates on her comment that he becomes fully aware of the reality of her remark - it's like a ride on the roller coaster simply because it's over quickly and she has to throw up afterwards.

Ingemann's characters tend to be somewhat self-centred and self-obsessed, to put it mildly. A chubby man admits he has a weight problem, for example, but "only when my wife is sitting on me".

My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!

13:15 I get home from the dental clinic and Lois and I have lunch. In the middle of the meal a repairman rings the doorbell. He has come to repair our cooker.

We have guests next week and we are very keen to get the cooker repaired before they arrive on Monday evening. Sylvia, Lois's cousin from Melbourne, and Rod, Sylvia's new partner, will be staying with us for a week.

The oven door tends to open during cooking, which is a bit inconvenient to say the least. And one of the stove's two ovens does not even work now. We called the repair company a couple of weeks ago, explaining the problem and they promised that the repair guy would bring the new parts the cooker needed.

Unfortunately, the repair man finds out today that the company has given him the wrong parts so he has to call them and order the correct ones. But we will have to wait until next month to get them - damn!

What madness !!!!

Lois and I chat a little with the man, an immigrant from the Caribbean Islands - and share a joke or two with him about the failings of the company's accessories department, but we do it in a completely relaxed and "natural" way. We do not want him to think of us as snobs. And we do not want him to feel bad about the fact that his company has screwed up again.

It's important to have good chemistry with one's repair guys - that's something we know for sure. I recall that a man from Wilmette Ilinois, Brad Osterberg, a 38 year intellectual property lawyer, hit the world's headlines a few years ago after he put on a country music CD in order to establish a good rapport with a man who had come to repair his dishwasher (Source Onion News).

In an attempt to impress his repairer, a certain Jason Delmar (29) whom he had called to fix a broken dishwasher, Osterberg played Merle Haggard's 1968 album, Mama Tried, all the time that Delmar was in his home, he later told journalists.

"He did not say much, but I think we had a really good connection," said Osterberg, who later added that he always makes sure that he has something by A Tribe Called Quest blaring when his usual pizza delivery guy comes. "I just wanted him to feel comfortable. After all I have a pretty nice place here."

After leaving Osterberg's home, Delmar resumed listening to the audiobook of Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow on his repair van's CD player to quote "get that hillbilly shit out of my head" unquote.

14:30 Our repair man has to leave and I go to bed and take a giant afternoon nap. I get up at 4pm and go back out into the backyard - I carry on clearing up and putting cut branches into black sacks: my goodness, what a nightmare !!!!

17:00 I take a little look at my smartphone. We have not heard anything from Sylvia, Lois' Australian cousin, and Rod, Sylvia's partner, since the couple arrived in England a few weeks ago, but we have kept abreast of their progress thanks to Facebook - Sylvia is a massive fan of Facebook, and usually puts up to 20 posts a day on her Facebook page, mostly video clips of cute animals, or "pithy sayings" she has "liked" on the web - my god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

We know that the couple stayed for a few days at Sylvia's Aunt June in Redditch, and they are now near Pwllheli in North Wales, we believe, and staying with Sylvia's Uncle Paul.

Sylvia has today uploaded a few pictures to Facebook showing a charming Welsh village: we assume that the village is somewhere close to her Uncle Paul's house, but that's something we are not entirely sure about.

The two pictures of a charming Welsh village

that Sylvia has posted today on Facebook

Suddenly my smartphone vibrates. Sylvia has just sent me a text on Messenger. She and Rod will be arriving at our local railway station on Monday at 5:51pm and she asks us to pick them up.

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching television. First, we see a couple of old episodes from the Big Bang Theory's latest season, which we missed in March / April because we were visiting our daughter Sarah in Perth, Australia. We want to be up to date with the status of the main characters before the sitcom's new season starts in the fall.

Afterwards, we see the first half of a documentary about the "invisible" remains of a number of ancient cities - remains that can only be detected using new scientific laser techniques that can penetrate the earth, etc. The host of the program is the charming Michael Scott.

In spite of Michael's enthusiasm, however, we feel that Athens's visible remains are much more impressive than the "invisible" ones that he tries to show us.

Also it's only 9:30pm but we both feel an irresistible urge to hop into bed. Sorry, Michael, ha ha. ZZZZZZZZZZ !!!!

Danish translation

10:00 Jeg bruger formiddagen på at rykke møbler og andre ting fra spisestuen tilbage ind i stuen – Ross kom i går og rensede gulvtæpperne i stuen og entréen, og disse gulvtæpper er nu helt tørre, gudskelov. Bagefter rydder jeg op I baghaven – jeg fylder 4 store sorte plastiksække med de grenene, jeg klippede af vores høje hække i bunden af haven. Travlt travlt travlt!

12:00 Jeg kører over til vores lokale tandlægeklinik. Jeg har aftale i dag kl 12:40 hos Ursula, vores tandlægekliniks dejlige hygiejniske specialist – den aftale, der for 5 uger siden blev aflyst, fordi jeg den foregående dag  uforventede fik en tand trukket ud, og min mund og tandkød stadig var lidt følsømme, for at sige mildt.

Ursula er charmerende, som sædvanligt, men hun forsvinder altid, så snart aftalen er slut. Hvor forsvinder hun hen? Jeg havde før i tiden teorien, at hun trængte til at ligge sig lidt efter rædslerne af at skrabe al den tandsten af mine tænder.

Min seneste teori er, at hun skal kaste op efter aftalen. Jeg læste forleden om en lignende situation i en af Morten Ingemanns tegneseriestriber. Danske Ingemann er min yndlingstegner  – ingen tvivl om det! Han interesserer sig især for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende eller ældre folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.

 Danske Morten Ingemann, min yndlingstegner

I en nylig tegneseriestribe så jeg et grimt midaldrende par, der lige efter en samleje bliver liggende lidt i sengen. Kvinden siger til manden, at sex med ham er ligesom en tur på rutsjebanen. Manden er i begyndelsen henrykt over kvindens anmeldelse, og det er kun senere, da kvinden uddyber sin kommentar, at han bliver klar over virkeligheden – det er ligesom en tur på rutsjebanen fordi det er hurtigt overstået og hun skal brække sig bagefter.

Ingemanns figurer har tendens til at være lidt egocentristiske og selvoptagede, for at sige mildt. En buttet mand indrømmer, han har et vægtproblem, for eksempel, men ”kun når min kone sidder på mig”.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!

13:15 Jeg kommer hjem fra tandlægeklinikken og Lois og jeg spiser frokost. Midt i måltidet ringer en reparationsmand på dørklokken. Han er kommet for at reparere vores komfur.

Vi har gæster næste uge, og vi er meget ivrige efter at få komfuret repareret, før de ankommer på mandag aften. Sylvia, Lois’ kusine fra Melbourne, og Rod, hendes nye partner, skal bo hos os i en uge.

Ovndøren har tendens til at åbne sig under kogning, hvilket er lidt ubekvemt for at sige mildt. Og en af komfurets to ovne fungerer ikke. Vi ringede til reparationsfirma for et par uge siden, og forklarede problemet, og de lovede, at reparationsmanden ville medbringe de nye dele, komfuret havde brug for.

Desværre opdager reparationsmanden i dag, at firmaet har givet ham de forkerte dele, så han skal ringe til dem og bestille de rigtige. Men vi skal vente til næste måned for at få dem – pokkers!

Sikke et vanvid!!!!

Lois og jeg snakker lidt med manden, en indvandrer fra de karibiske øer –  og deler vittigheder med ham om felene af firmaets udygtige tilhørsafdeling, på en helt afslappet og naturlig måde. Vi vil ikke have at han betragter os snobbede. Og vi vil ikke have, at han føler sig dårlig over, at firmaet har fucket op igen.

Det er vigtigt at have en god kemi med ens reparationsmænd – det ved vi med sikkerhed. Jeg mindes om, at en mand fra Wilmette Ilinois, Brad Osterberg, en 38-årig intellektuel ejendomsret advokat for nogle år siden ramte verdens overskrifterne, efter det havde lykkes ham at etablere en meget god kemi med en mand, der var kommet for at reparere hans opvaskemaskine.

”I et forsøg på at imponere reparatøren Jason Delmar, 29, som han kaldte for at fikse en opvaskemaskine, der var blevet i stykker, spillede Brad Merle Haggards 1968-album, Mama Tried, for hele tiden, Delmar var i hans hjem, fortalte han til lokale journalister.

"Han sagde ikke meget, men jeg tror, vi virkelig har god kemi," sagde Osterberg, der senere tilføjede, at han altid sørger for at han har noget spillet af A Tribe Called Quest, der larmer, når hans sædvanlige pizzaleverandør kommer. "Jeg ville bare have ham til at føle sig godt tilpas. Jeg har et smukt pænt hjem her."

Efter at have forladt Osterbergs hjem, genoptog Delmar igen at lytte til lydbogen af Thomas Pynchons Gravity's Rainbow på sin reparationsbilens cd-afspiller for at "få den der hillbilly lort ud af mit hoved."

14:30 Reparationsmanden skal af sted og jeg går i seng for at tage mig en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 16 og går ud ind i baghaven igen – jeg fortsætter med at rydde op og putte klippede grene i sorte sække: du godeste, sikke et mareridt !!!!

17:00 Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone. Vi har ikke hørt noget fra Sylvia, Lois’ australske kusine, og Rod, Sylvias partner, siden parret for et par uge siden ankom til England, men vi har holdt os ajour med deres fremskridt, tækket være Facebook – Sylvia er en massiv fan af Facebook, og plejer at lægge op til 20 posts om dag op på sin Facebook-side, for det meste videoklip af søde dyre, eller ”bevingende ord” hun har ”liket” på nettet – du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Parret boede i et par dage hos Sylvia’s tante June i Redditch, og de er nu i nærheden af Pwllheli i Nord-Wales, tror vi, og bor hos Sylvias onkel Paul.

Sylvia har i dag lagt et par billeder op på Facebook, der viser en charmerende walesiske landsby: vi formoder, at landsbyen er et eller andet sted tæt på onkel Pauls hus, men det er vi ikke helt sikre på.

De to billeder af en charmerende walesiske landsby

som Sylvia har lagt op i dag på Facebook

Pludselig vibrer min smartphone. Syliva har lige nu sendt mig en sms på Messenger. Hun og Rod skal ankomme til den lokale banegård på mandag kl 17:51, og hun beder os om at hente dem.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. Først ser vi et par afsnit af Big Bang Theorys seneste sæson, som vi gik glip af i marts/april, fordi vi var på besøg hos vores datter Sarah i Perth, Australien. Vi vil være helt ajour med hovedfigurernes status, før sitcommens nye sæson starter i efteråret.

Bagefter ser vi første halvdel af en dokumentarfilm, der handler om de ”usynlige” rester af en række byer fra den antikke verden – rester, der bare kan opdaget ved hjælp af nye videnskabelige laser-teknikker, som kan penetrere jorden osv. Programmets vært er den charmerende Michael Scott.

På trods af Michaels entusiasme føler vi imidlertid, at Athens synlige rester er meget mere imponerende, end de ”usynlige”, som han viser os.

Også kl er kun 21:30 men vi føler begge to en uimodståelig trang til at hoppe op i sengen. Undskyld, Michael, ha ha. Zzzzzzzzzz!!!!