Thursday, September 6 2018

08:00 Lois and I get up early and go in the shower. Ian, our local window cleaner is coming at 9am and we do not want to be spied on (and I'm sure Ian would say that's mutual ha ha).

10:00 After breakfast I set about clearing up and vacuuming the house because our U3A Danish group has its regular meeting here this afternoon at 2:30 pm. And Lois will have to miss the first hour of the meeting because she is going to a funeral taking place at 1:45pm at a church in Leckhampton across town.

Nic, who was our eldest daughter Alison's best friend at high school, phoned Alison a couple of weeks ago, to tell her that her mother, Sandra, had sadly died of breast cancer at the age of 70. Alison, unfortunately, cannot come from Haslemere to Cheltenham today because it is her 3 children's 2nd day in their new English schools, and Ed, Alison's husband, is currently in Copenhagen on business. Lois will stand in for Alison at the funeral today.

We have not seen Sandra for many years, but we remember her well - a lovely, positive, bubbly personality. She had been ill for many months, but she insisted that his family keep secret her illness, not reveal it to anyone and also not to ask her constantly about her condition, etc., also not to grieve for her after her death - what a woman !

Sandra (left) together with her husband Reg, and their 3 children

I do not have the slightest idea of how I would react if I were diagnosed with cancer - it's what everyone is scared of, even though it is not always terminal these days. We all have to die one day, but it is best if you do not know the details in advance, that's for sure!

I imagine that after a serious diagnosis, you just have to completely "change gear", to put it mildly, like when citizens in countries who have lived in peace for many years suddenly have to accept a whole new situation and new way of life, if the country becomes involved in a war - or at least that is what my mother said about her family's life in 1939, at the beginning of the Second World War.

It's just as bad, probably worse, if it's happening to your partner if you have one.

11:45 We have lunch, a bit earlier than usual. Unfortunately, I get a sad text from Alison: one of their 2 coal-black Danish alley cats, "Albus", whom they recently brought home after the family's 6-year stay in Denmark, has unfortunately been run over by some vehicle right in front of the family house in Haslemere. A passer-by came across Albus and took him to the local vet, but sadly poor Albus died during the night.

Josie, Alison's oldest child, is very upset, to say the least - she loved Albus and Dumbledore, Albus's brother. Josie turns 12 tomorrow, and yesterday she started her new English high school, so this week was already a little traumatic without her having to lose her beloved Albus on top of everything else. Poor Josie.

2 days ago Josie took this picture of

her 2 Danish "alley cats", Albus and Dumbledore, on the family terrace.

I do not have the slightest idea which is which!

13:00 Lois has to leave - Sandra's funeral starts at 1:45pm. I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 2pm and prepare for the regular meeting of our Danish group. I have to put the water on for the tea – that’s the most important preparation ha ha.

14:30 The group members arrive and we study Danish for an hour and a half. We start with the chit-chat, as usual. Scilla's grandchildren are travelling the world: one has arrived in Darwin, Australia, and another has moved to a city in South China, where she is starting at the local university. Good grief, what a crazy world we live in. Lois comes back from the funeral in the middle of the meeting.

16:00 The meeting ends and Lois and I relax with a cup of tea on the couch. She tells me a little about the service. A very nice ceremony, she says. Sandra had asked her family not to grieve over her, but Nic, Alison's 43-year-old best friend from school days, was not surprisingly visibly upset when speaking her words in front of the congregation.

Sandra as a young girl

Sandra as a young woman: her husband, Reg, first met her

on a double date and immediately fell in love with her

The music was very touching: "Until the Twelfth of Never" (the entrance music), "Morning has broken" and "This Little Light of Mine", with Scott McKenzie's "San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)" as the exit music. Not surprising about the Scott McKenzie I guess, when you think that just like Lois and me, Sandra grew up at the time of the Flower Power movement, needless to say. It's a little scary to be reminded that all of us in Sandra's age group now are so old and feeble - yikes !!!

What a day!!!!

18:30 Dinner and then we call Alison to tell her about Nic's mother's funeral and also to ask how Alison's daughter Josie is doing after the sad news of her cat's accident. It was fortunate, Alison says, that it wasn't Josie herself that discovered the injured Albus in the street after the accident, and fortunate also that someone took Albus to the animal clinic where the vet could read Albus' chip card and inform the family about the death.

21:00 Lois and I spend the rest of the evening watching television, an old episode of Big Bang Theory's latest (11th) season, which we missed earlier this year when we were on vacation in Australia staying with our younger daughter Sarah and her family.

A fun episode. Sheldon is going through another difficult period, a physicist's version of an author's problem of "writer's block" - but what do you call this kind of thing - thinker's block maybe? He is vacillating between studying string theory (his first love) or continuing to explore dark matter. As usual, it's Leonard's wife, Penny, the sexy ex-"Community College" student who accidentally lifts Sheldon's thinker's block with a few naive suggestions.

I read somewhere the other day that viewers were going to be asked to look at some sexy bedroom scenes between Sheldon and Amy on honeymoon in an episode of the show's upcoming 12th (last?) season. Dear God - I can only hope this is just a rumour - yikes!

22:00 I take a little look at my smartphone, and I see that Alison has posted a photo of the family's dining room up on "Insta". She has been busy decorating it this evening in secret, in preparation for poor Josie's 12th birthday tomorrow. Ed, Alison's husband, will be back from Copenhagen tomorrow and at the weekend the whole family plans to go up to London and visit a chocolate factory - hopefully, all this will cheer Josie up and help her forget the loss of her beloved Albus.

Dining-room secretly decorated tonight for Josie's 12th birthday tomorrow

I remember it was the very day in February 2006 that Lois and I both retired, that Alison rang us to tell us she was pregnant, and that we were going to be grandparents for the first time. Happy times !

But today eh?  - what a day (again).

Lois and I go to bed - zzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

08:00 Lois og jeg star tidligt op og går i bad. Ian, vores lokale vinduespidser kommer i dag kl 9 og vi vil ikke have, at han udspionere os. (Og jeg er helt sikker på, at Ian ville sige, det er gensidigt ha ha).

10:00 Efter morgenmad går jeg i gang med at rydde op og støvsuge hele huset, fordi vores U3A danske gruppe holde sit regelmæssige møde i eftermiddag kl 14:30 hos os. Og Lois vil måtte gå glip af mødets første time, fordi hun skal til en begravelse, der finder sted kl 13:45 på en kirke i Leckhampton, i den anden side af byen.

Nic, der var vores ældste datter Alisons bedste veninde på højskole, ringede til Alison for et par uger siden, og fortalte hende, at hendes mor, Sandra, desværre var død af brystkræft, på 70 år. Alison kan desværre ikke tage fra Haslemere over til Cheltenham i dag, fordi den er hendes 3 børns 2. dag i deres nye engelske skoler, og Ed, Alisons mand, er for tiden i København på forretningsrejse. Lois vil vikariere i dag for Alison til begravelsen.

Vi har ikke set Sandra i mange år, men vi husker hende godt – en dejlig, positiv, sprudlende personlighed. Hun var blevet syg i mange måneder, men hun insisterede på, at hans familie bevarer hemmeligheden om hendes sygdom, ikke røbe dem til nogen og ikke konstant at spørge hende om hendes tilstand osv, og ikke at begræde hende efter hendes død – sikke en kvinde!

Sandra (til venstre) sammen med sin mand Reg, og deres 3 børn

Jeg har ikke den fjerneste anelse om, hvordan jeg ville reagere, hvis jeg blev diagnosticeret med kræft – det er, hvad alle er bange for, selvom den nu til dags ikke altid er terminal. 

Vi skal i hvert fald alle dø en dag, men det er bedst, hvis man ikke ved detaljerne i forvejen, ingen tvivl om det! Jeg formoder, at man efter en alvorlig diagnosticering bliver nødt til at ”skifte gear”, for at sige mildt, ligesom når borgere i lande, der i mange år har levet i fred, pludselig skal acceptere en hel ny situation og levemåde, hvis landet bliver involveret i en krig – eller i hvert fald det sagde min mor, om hendes families liv i 1939, i begyndelsen af den 2. verdenskrig. 

Det er i det mindste så dårligt, sandsynligvis værre, hvis det hele sker med ens partner, hvis man har en.

11:45 Vi spiser frokost, lidt tidligere, end normalt. Desværre får jeg en trist sms fra Alison: en af deres 2 kulsorte danske gadekatte, ved navnet ”Albus”, som de for nylig medbragte hjem efter familiens 6 års ophold i Danmark, er desværre blevet kørt over af et eller andet køretøj lige foran familiens hus i Haslemere. En forbipasserende faldt over Albus og tog ham med til den lokale dyrlæger, men han døde desværre i løbet af natten.

Josie, Alisons ældste barn, er meget oprevet, for at sige mildt – hun elskede højt Albus og Dumbledore, Albus’ bror. Josie fylder 12 år i morgen, og i går startede hun i sin nye engelske højskole, så denne uge allerede var lidt traumatisk, uden at hun skulle tabe sin elskede Albus oven i købet. Stakkels Josie.

For 2 dage siden tog Josie dette billede af

sine 2 danske ”gadekatte”, Albus og Dumbledore, på familiens terrasse.

Jeg har ikke den fjerneste anelse om, hvem er hvem!

13:00 Lois skal af sted – Sandras begravelse starter kl 13:45. Jeg går i seng og tager en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 14 og forbereder mig på vores danske gruppes regelmæssige møde. Jeg skal sætte vand over til te – det er den vigtigste forberedelse ha ha.

14:30 Gruppemedlemmer kommer og vi studerer dansk i en time og en halv. Vi starter med snik-snak, som sædvanligt. Scillas børnebørn rejser verden over:  den ene er ankommet til Darwin, Australien, og en anden er flyttet til en by i Syd-Kina, hvor hun starter på den lokale universitet. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i. Lois kommer tilbage fra begravelsen midt i mødet.

16:00 Mødet slutter og Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te i sofaen. Hun fortæller mig lidt om tjenesten. En meget dejlig ceremoni, siger hun. Sandra havde bedt sin familie om ikke at begræde hende, men Nic, Alisons 43-årige bedste veninde fra skoledage, blev synligt oprevet, mens hun fremsagde sine ord foran menigheden.

Sandra som ung pige

Sandra som ung kvinde: hendes mand, Reg, mødte hende først

på en dobbeltdate og forelskede sig umiddelbart i hende

Musikken var meget rørende: ”Until the Twelfth of Never”, ”Morning has broken” og ”This Little Light of Mine”, med Scott McKenzies “San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in your Hair)” som udgangsmusik.  Ikke overaskende, for ligesom Lois og mig, voksede Sandra op også i tiden af Flower Power-bevægelsen, unødvendigt at sige.  Det er lidt skræmmende at mindes om, at alle vi i Sandras aldergruppe nu er så gamle og svage – yikes!!!

Sikke en dag!!!!

18:30 Aftensmad og derefter ringer vi til Alison, for at fortælle hende om Nics mors begravelse, og også for at spørge, hvordan går det med Alisons datter Josie efter nyheden om hendes kats ulykke. Det var heldigt, siger Alison, at Jose ikke selv opdagede den skadede Albus i gaden efter ulykken, og heldigt også, at nogen tog Albus til dyrelægeklinikken, hvor dyrelæge kunne læse Albus’ chipkort og informere familien om døden.

21:00 Lois og jeg bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn, et gamle afsnit af Big Bang Theorys  seneste (11.) sæson, som vi gik glip af tidligere på året, da vi var på ferie i Australien hos vores yngste datter Sarah og hendes familie.

Et morsomt afsnit. Sheldon går igennem en besværlig periode, en fysikers version of forfatternes ”skriveblokering” – men hvad kalder man den slags – tænkeblokering måske ? Han vakler mellem at undersøge strengteori (sin første kærlighed) eller fortsætter med at udforske mørkt stof. Som sædvanligt er det Leonards kone, Penny, den sexede eks-”Community College”- studerende, der løser blokeringen for ham med et par naive forslag.

Jeg læste forleden et eller andet sted, at seerne skal blive bedt om at kigge på nogle sexede soveværelsescener mellem Sheldon og Amy i under deres bryllupsrejse  i et eller andet afsnit af sitcommens næste (sidste?) sæson. DU godeste – jeg håber bare, at dette blot er en rygte – yikes!

22:00 Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone, og jeg ser, at Alison har lagt en foto af familiens spisestue op på ”Insta”. Hun har været travlt med at pynte den i forberedelse på stakkels Josies 12. fødselsdag i morgen. Ed, Alisons mand, vil være tilbage fra København i morgen og i weekenden planlægger hele familien at tage til London og besøge en chokoladefabrik – forhåbentlig vil det hele opmuntre Josie og få hende til at glemme lidt om tabet af sin elskede  Albus.

Spisestuen pyntet i aften til Josies 12. fødselsdag i morgen.

Jeg mindes om, det var selve dagen i februar 2006, da Lois og jeg begge gik på pension, at Alison ringede til os for at fortælle os hun var gravid, og vi for første gang skulle være bedsteforældre - lykkelige dage!!!!

Men i dag - sikke en dag (igen) !!!!!

Vi går i seng – zzzzzz!!!!