Danskcolin: Friday February 16th 2023

Dear reader, are you an older woman, perhaps in your 60's, say? Do you sometimes think how nice it would be to have a 29-year-old lover, a young man who prefers the mature, intellectual but also artistic and sensitive type of woman?

A young guy who devotes himself to you 24/7, a man who's been looking for somebody just your age, and who isn't interested in anybody else, despite being surrounded by dozens of nubile teenage girls?

A guy who tells all these nubile young girls that, even at 63, you're [quote] 'fantastic in bed' [unquote]?

British fashion designer-icon Vivienne Westwood

with her ex-student, Andreas Kronthaler - a 25 year age gap

It's very much the dream, isn't it.

And it's the sort of relationship that Lois and I have been reading about in our Danish novel, Anna Grue's "Judaskysset" (the Judas kiss). We've only read a couple of chapters so far - well it's in Danish, so we can't just "zip through it". We're not Danish, you see! [You don't say! - Ed]

the Danish novel Lois and I are reading - albeit slowly -

Anna Grue's "Judas Kysset" (the Judas Kiss), pictured here

with an advert for some 20-kroner packs of Danish kylling-underlår

(chicken "under-thighs") exclusively available from '365 discount'

However, if you were to ask us what our key takeaways are from these first 2 chapters of the book, I think both Lois and I would agree on this one: if you're an older woman with a much younger lover in this situation, whatever you do, don't give your young lover free access to your bank account, particularly if you're a recent big billion-kroner lottery-winner, that is.

It seems like a no-brainer, doesn't it. And yet you'd be surprised how many 60-years-plus female big lottery winners make this rather basic mistake.

a typical "older woman" lottery-winner

And if you're an older lottery-winner, like Ursula in our Danish book, you may be particularly vulnerable to this type of 'scam' if you also care passionately about the future of our planet, and go in for all sorts of "environmentalist" fads and crazes.

Ursula is a 63-year-old environmentalist art teacher at a Danish college of further education, and she's being "fantastic in bed" with thrusting 29-year-old local paint-maker Jakob, who boasts that all his paints are environmentally-friendly.

And just today we read that Jakob's paints have been discovered by experts to be just ordinary "environmentally-hostile" paints, with specially-printed "environmentally friendly" labels stuck on the containers.

How cheap can you get? [You should know, Colin! - Ed]

typical "environmentally-hostile"

paints for artists

And, as you can imagine, a young guy who'd stoop to a low trick like that, would have no scruples about draining Ursula's kroner-heavy bank account, which is what he's done, in fact.

Poor Ursula !!!!!

"Why am I telling you all this?", I hear you cry. Well, it's because today I suddenly realise that the fortnightly meeting of the local U3A Intermediate Danish group that Lois and I lead, is coming up fast: it's in 6 days' time. We're currently all reading this book about Ursula, and it's my job to compile vocabulary sheets for our other members.

Most of our little group's members are women over 60 themselves, just like Ursula in the book, and Lois and I suspect there's a lot of prurient interest about Ursula and Jakob's passionate "older woman - younger man" type of relationship. None of these women group-members has actually admitted to it, but Lois and I think that it's just a matter of time before we catch somebody looking "distant" or "preoccupied", or licking their lips or fainting dead away with excitement - it's a zoom meeting so we're bound to catch them at it, if they do haha!

a typical U3A group meeting on zoom

10:00 Apart from doing what-we-call a bit of Danish on the couch, mine and Lois's main job today is to clean and tidy up here in our new-build home in Malvern. We live like pigs most of the time, surrounded by copies of Radio Times and piles of papers, half-read books and unanswered letters, clothes not put away, you know the kind of thing. Sarah texted us on whatsapp on Wednesday evening.

Today we're got to convert this "pigsty-for-two" to a "showhome-standard" house-for-five, because our daughter Sarah is coming to stay the weekend, bringing the twins, which will be nice. It's a bit of a shock to the system, but it keeps us staying a bit "not so old-at-heart and hopelessly fuddy-duddy as we would otherwise be", to be surrounded by lively young company just for a couple of days, that's for sure!

20:00 The entertainment tonight is a DVD of the classic children's story "The Railway Children" by E. Nesbit a story set in 1905 or thereabouts.

And before we know it, everybody's completely engrossed in the film, one which Sarah herself used to watch when she was the same sort of age as the twins.

How time flies!

Sarah and Lily sit next to me on the couch...

... and Jessica's made her own little "nest" on some cushions

You must remember the bit where the 3 kids discover that there's been a landslide that's blocking the railway line near the country cottage in Yorkshire where the family lives.

The kids know that a train is on the way, so the girls tear their red petticoats to make a couple of red warning flags and all three of them stand on the track waiting for the train to come steaming round the corner. And - do you remember? They manage to stop the train when it's only inches away from them, and - what's-her-name - the older of the 2 girls, the one played by Jenny Agutter, faints dead away and has to be carried off on a stretcher?

It's a real heart-stopping moment, isn't it.

And then do you remember when, in gratitude, the railway company gives all 3 children a medal and a pocket watch each, and the whole village turns up at the railway station to see the presentation?

Fantastic stuff, isn't it.

21:00 Sarah and the twins go off to bed, and Lois and I wind down with tonight's episode of the anarchic sitcom "Here We Go".

You'll get some idea of the anarchic quality of this sitcom from the "blurb" above (if you can read it), but mine and Lois's favourite character from the series is always the family's gloomy lesbian teenage daughter, Amy - you know, the one who's always going on about "wishing she was in Norway", her favourite European country.

Amy, the Jessop family's gloomy teenage lesbian

daughter, the one who's always wishing she was in Norway

In this special episode for Valentine's Day, Amy has thrown away the flowers sent her by her girl-friend Maya, and Granny Sue has noticed that Amy is looking even more gloomy than usual, if that's possible. Suspecting that Maya ha been cheating on Amy, Granny Sue decides to go over to talk to Amy during Dad Jessop's "Five-a-Side Football" match.